/ub/ - Überhengst

>>1835
>>1835
Glad it worked out! I've heard of Patagonia, but never had the chance to try it.
I must warn you on two fronts though. 1. this recipe is like an STD,….
That statement has a bit of cruel irony, having just mustered the nerve to read some of the redpill screencaps in the Raid 4chan/gay thread :/
And 2. You may find yourself saying "Those aren't real beer brats" more than a few times.
Seriously though, I'm glad you liked it! ^_^

Alright! Today we’ll be making Garlic Herb Mushroom Chicken thighs! Recipe and description to,... oh fuck it, just read the next post

https://cafedelites.com/garlic-mushroom-chicken-thighs/?fbclid=IwAR15zCipxA668FDZE8pbG5RBDSTkbFhIAv-ssKkrfDpu3irRUTQKudVcBl8
>recipe
First off, this is a double-recipe, and even accounting for that there was only so much of the spice mix to go around. I recommend sprinkling it on the top of the the thighs and patting it against the meat. After, cook as directed. I went with 6 min/side because I like my chicken medium. Be sure to make sure the chicken doesn't stick to the pan, as even with sufficient oil it might. Once the chicken is finished, continue as usual, except feel free to use more butter than is called for. A double-recipe claim to serve 6, while in reality a double recipe serves 3 with about 30% of leftover.
When serving, be sure to drizzle from the pan and the chicken rest-plate

>>1869 (You)
Addendum:
Oregano was substituted for Rosemary (didn't have any) and it worked well. Its not a heavy flavor, but together it makes a nice herby mix. I give it a 6.5/10; relatively easy to make (the prep is the hard part).
Also, the reddish on the rice is shepherd's salt. See above for that, it goes great on anything that used to be alive (EXCEPT chili, I've recently come to find)

>>1908
I prefer snickerdoodle swastikas.

Jesus christ, am I the only aspiring chef in this thread? F
Today we're making basic (from scratch) Taco Seasoning.
This is the same sort of seasoning that you would use to make taco meat, but its from scratch, which by virtue makes it better... I hope. Here's the recipe
https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Homemade-Taco-Seasoning-2322585?prm-v1
>tl;dr
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
Let's see how it goes!

>>2075
I'm out of cumin, so I'm substituting chinese allspice,... but otherwise it should be okay

How to cook Pulled Pork the redpilled way?

>>2077
There's a redpilled way to cook pulled pork?

>>2075
>>2076
It worked okay
The burritos I was making were tasty

'Shawarma' Chicken
Even without browning the meat it's really good. It reminds me of this Lebanese restaurant that used to be open. It's just as good. Next up will be the yogurt garlic side dip.

Sorry guys I'm not sure how much of all this we used. About three skinless chicken breasts cut into strips, or sliced, or whatever you want. In my option cutting it up makes it much more tender and flavorful.

2 teaspoons cumin

2 teaspoons paprika

1 teaspoon allspice

3/4 teaspoon turmeric

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1 pinch cayenne

salt to taste

black pepper (we used chinese white pepper, whatever you have works)

Lemon Juice
Red pepper flakes (Just a little bit)
Onion powder
Dried fried garlic (If you don't have it don't worry more garlic is your friend) (Can be found at your Asian market and should be shelf stable ish)
Fresh garlic
MSG
coriander
Clarified butter (Just melted butter in the microwave. Pause every once in a while so nothing burns (make sure it isn't really hot when you mix it in)) Put this in last, as in just before the meat. Should just fold in like nothing ever changed.
Seasoned salt (Lawry's)
Fresh tumeric
Jamaican Allspice
GREEK YOGURT (The only one we had as slightly expired unopened 10 days past) a slight sour taste can use fresh and a little sour cream... or a vinegar. FFS don't use sweetened yogurt. Maybe about two cups?

The fresh stuff should be minced (or finer) if possible, but no worries.

Longer you marinate the better the flavor gets into everything. We prepped it at 2:00 pm and ate at 6:35 pm ish. Just leave it on the counter if you'll be cooking it today.

Dump the yogurt into the oven safe dish (should be big enough to hold all your chicken, and sauce), mix all dry, and fresh ingredients.
TASTE it to see what is needs. It should taste and smell like shawarma without the meat.

Prepare the chicken (meat of your choice) and cut to your desired preference.
Place into the dish, and mix it in throughly. All the meat should be covered in the yogurt about equally.

Cover (OPTIONAL: Covering is not meeded stir it after the 30 minutes then whenever you feel like it) the chicken and bake in the marinade for 30 minutes, turning once. Uncover, and cook for an additional 5 to 10 minutes, or until chicken is browned and cooked through. Remove from the dish, and cut into slices.
(If you have already cut it up you can keep it in there longer up to another thirty minutes, as the liquid keeps everything moist and tender)
>The yogurt should have separated into a liquid and a solid everything is fine.)

Serve with rice, flatbread, or any kind of bread, or starch you want.

(OPTIONAL)
Brown in the pan for a more authentic shawarma as the last step. Also can do this to reheat as leftovers.

Butchered from these two recipes, and tasting it as we went. (For the yogurt just leave it alone in the oven until it's time to poke it)
The sites have advertisements ect.

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/52407/chicken-shawarma/

And

https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Chicken-Shawarma-2198109?prm-v1

>>2090
First get alot of fresh garlic and turn it into paste however you want.
Can use some powdered garlic.
Then add yogurt.
That's it.

I did it in reverse, and needed to use much more garlic. Powdered garlic is okay, but the real flavor here is the harsh uncooked garlic.

I recommend it with any Mediterranean dish.

(Side note on the yogurt. It shouldn't have a weird smell.)

Pasteing the Garlic with just a knife.
(Cutting it up first helps)
Get some course salt (pretzel salt works good), and you push the knife down and away so the mashed garlic is on the cutting edge.
Regather the garlic, and repeat.
A lot of garlic flavor will be in the liquid the salt pulls out.

It's like getting the skins off the garlic, but at an angle. Cutting side is always tossed the board. Your hand should be in the middle and not on the cutting edge.

Have fun and dip anything and everything in it, or use it as an ingredient.

Today I'll be breaking down a household favorite, Pot Roast!

You will need:
2.5+ lbs Chuck Roast
Minced Garlic
Carrot(s)
Potatoes
Celery
Onion
Seasoning
Oh, you'll also need a crock pot.

Alright. I prefer to use chuck roast cuz its comparatively less expensive, and if you slow cook it its super tender. Pictured is a 4.8lbs Chuck roast (technically its 2). I've since been informed that they're even better if you sear them first,... who knew?
Next, dice about 1/2 an onion per 2.5 lbs.
Next, cut up your potatoes. Not smol pieces, but about 1-1.5" each so that they soften up nicely.
Next, cut up a whole carrot (you can use more, but one person in the house is on a carb-restrictive diet). This carrot was quartered before slicing, because that allows you to have thicker pieces that will cook thoroughly
And then a celery stalk, basically the same routine as the carrot.

>>2259
All that's left is to add 2 tablespoons of minced garlic per 2.5lbs of meat (we like garlic) and then your choice of seasoning. There are hundreds of decent pot-roast seasoning recipes available on the internet, but for simplicity's sake we just used a packet mix.
Yes, I know freshly minced garlic is better, as is DIY seasoning, but I was feeling lazy.
Throw everything together into the pot, and pour the seasoning broth over the mix.

Cook on high for 3-4 hours, or on low for 6+ (you'll be glad you did).

To give you an idea how good this pot roast is (and simple, if using a crock pot), 5lbs of meat and those veggies fed 3 people. 0 leftovers, but several bloated waistlines. Highly recommended.

Holy fucking shitballs!
Holy fucking shitballs!

Wait for it,....

Bacon Fried Rice

You heard me. Bacon Fried Rice. It was an experiment, and it was so phenomenally successful that I'm gonna do it again. Lots of times. Unfortunately I didn't take any pics, but dude. Try this. Start with this recipe:
https://cookiesandcups.com/easy-fried-rice-recipe/

And for the meat, cook bacon. I did about 3/4 of a pound, cooked it half the time, and then added the bacon (grease and all) to the rice mix. Oh, I was also doing a 4x mix per the recipe. Anyway, it was so good that there were no leftovers. Like, none. I made 4x the recipe, and it was gone. With 3 people. It was goddamn delicious. And I recommend you try it.

This might be interesting to those who still don't cook their own food and resort to junk food.

>Men's fertility irreversibly damaged by age of 18 thanks to Western junk food diet, study finds
>A groundbreaking investigation has established that teenagers who favour high-fat and processed foods like pizzas, chips and snacks are killing off sperm-producing cells that can never be replaced.
>It showed that a diet dominated by fish, chicken, vegetables and fruit is best is for protecting those cells and ensuring healthy levels of sperm.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/06/24/mens-fertility-irreversibly-damaged-age-18-thanks-western-junk/

More fun with Beer Brats!

So recently I tried a new beer with the brats, Frio 6.0. It was super-cheap, so I thought I'd give it a go.
Well. They came out better than with 211 Steel Reserve, but there's a catch. The condensed beer is too strong. So, instead of using the condensed beer by its self, I continued to condense it almost to the point that it glazed the pan and then added about 1/2 cup of heavy cream, and simmered it for a minute with constant stirring. It was delicious, and I highly encourage it for any anons who have taken to the beer brat recipe.
The sauce went really good with seasoned potato wedges too.

>>2305
Things needed
Corn still in the husk
Butter
Salt
Enough water to cook the corn with (Cooking method of choice)

This delicious corn recipe goes by the mantra "low amd slow".
Get the corn in husk in the water.
Don't get the water over a boil.
Cover (optional)
Wait (about a couple hours)
When ready to serve take it out of the water then remove the husk and silk by hand. (It's really hot still so be careful!)
Butter, and salt to taste.

Alternatively, you can cook the corn on the grill, (oven would work too), or the coals. The husk keeps the corn nice and moist adding an enhanced flavour.

So apparently this is possible.

>>2349
Yummy.

>>2442
What a blast from the past.
While I wouldn't do this recipe it is certainly interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUrLPPKOBOU

>>2444
If you arent willing to try it, what about this recipe is interesting, and why post it?

Coming soon:
Bacon-wrapped asparagus.
It's a simple recipe, but after trying it I said something I haven't said in a long time, when trying new recipes. Wow.
It's simple. Separate asparagus spears into bundles of 4-5. Wrap ba on around each bundle. Some recipes involve putting the bacon toward the center, but I wrapped the whole bundle. Add (fresh ground) black pepper and a light sprinkling of murder season (see above). Cook at 400deg for about 40 minutes.
Oh my god these are good. Pics to follow, cuz I ate them already andbIll have to make mor.

>>88
Milk(like a cup), cocoa(2 soup spoons?), some sugar(like a tea spoon) and a bit of corn starch(tea spoon).
Keep stiring whilst heating up (dont let it get too thick) and boom, you got yourself some pudding.
Let it cool down before eating.

>>2498
Alright. After a couple attempts, here's what I can report about bacon-wrapped asparagus.
1. Its fucking awesome.
2. A 1 lb bundle should be separated into 6ths. This is to accommodate thicker or thinner stalks.
3. The base of the asparagus should be trimmed to remove any stalks bits, as they wont cook or be chewed properly.
4. Use two strips of bacon to wrap. One can work, but two is better.
5. Salt, pepper, garlic powder, seasoning (murder) fairly liberally, and a thin coat of butter or oil.

Preheat oven to 400deg f, wrap, season, and place on a foiled baking sheet. Cook for 35 minutes. That's pretty much it. It's a delightful side for lots of dishes and it's more or less inexpensive to make.

>>2586
>Its fucking awesome.
I'll try it.

Alright. So I have this nasty tendency to get balls deep into cooking before it occurs to me to take pics n shit. So, here's what we're doing today. We're going with classic bacon wrapped asparagus, and bacon wrapped salmon. Previously I've combined the three, but it was bad plating and was difficult to get all the flavors together in one bite. So lrts have some fun
For today's experiment I'm putting only ground ponk pink salt and pepper for seasoning.
For the salmon, I did (or am attempting) a trick.
The salmon I use comes frozen (dont judge) but the skin can be off-putting and distracting (appearance, flavor, etc). So I put the frozen salmon in for 5 minutes. This softened only the outside, allowing me to peel the skin off in one swipe. And allowing me to portion the fillet for wrapping. Additionally, since the inside was solid and the outside was soft, this enabled a greater ability to wrap the salmon in bacon.
Next time I do asparagus, I'll use toothpicks. Wrapping by hand isnt bad, but I wonder if the bacon wrap can be made firmer?
In any case, I've still got another 20 minutes with the lads, as well as some extra embellishments. Back in a few

>>2658
>So I have this nasty tendency to get balls deep into cooking before it occurs to me to take pics n shit.
I understand, except it's only after the fact I see this thread do I remember that would have been great to share.
It looks delicious.
>Wrapping by hand isnt bad, but I wonder if the bacon wrap can be made firmer?
A sushi mat technique might work. Wax paper, or foil, a grill mat, or a nonstick thingy, or plastic if need be could work...
Or add some sort of binder on the inside. Like lemon, or rice, or potato, or a noodle.
Thanks for posting it looks good, and I'll have to try this myself.
>>2090
Recently made this again with pork. Having it marinated over night makes it very tender, it just falls part.

>>2659
I'm glad you liked it so far, but im not finished yet
Salmon likes lots of butter, but with the extra fat from the asparagus wrap, I opted to drain it onto the salmon. Additionally, after the bake was finished, I opted to throw some crumbled dried carmelizrd onions. I like them plain, so I thought to try carmelized. I figure it will give a bit more texture to the salmon bacon wrap.
Then let me show you it's TRUE form
Crispy onion salmon and asparagus, wrapped in bacon.

It's quite delicious, and the bacon fsts mix with the fish oil and the crispy onion. It's a flavor that is close to butter, but far more complex and developed. Additionally, the smaller piece (treated with dill weed cuz dill weed makes everything better) has a more delightfully light but nuanced flavor. I dont know which I prefer, but both are delicious

If there is any doubt why I share these recipes,... I've presented and reprised a number of recipes over time, its because these are the recipes I'm proud of. These are the times I found a food recipe and took it to another level. And then I experimented more, and found a variety of deliciousness. There is no feeling like biting into something and being astonishingly blown away by the flavor. It's a moment of "holy shit, I made that. And its incredible." And those who dine with need say nothing. The empty trays and plates speak volumes
It's both a humbling and sincerely gratifying experience.
Play with your food anons. Have fun, and always test the limits

>>2660
>>2661
Looks delicious. Thank you for sharing.

>>2660
Yummy.
>>2661
Thanks.

As another recent experiment, seeking to answer the question "Can I make beer brats better?
The answer of course, is Yes

We're gonna start with the classic beginning. Start with 32oz of 211 Steel Reserve (or preferred shitty beer), reduce it by about half, and then boil the brats until the beer reduces by half again. Remove the brats and set them in the microwave to rest.
You now have a pot with condensing beer, pic 1. In this experiment, I decided to go with a triple reduction sauce and it was a really good idea. So then, reduce the beer down really really long, until it looks like pic 2.
Video shows how thick the stuff should be before the next bit, adding a healthy amount of beef broth (about 1 to 1 with the beer reduction) and then reduce it again.

>>2671
Once you start the second reduction you will want to keep an eye on it, and as this is where I ran into a snag inspiration for my next experiment.
Pic 1 shows the mix with broth however as can be seen from pic 3 I burned the sauce. I dont know if this is a bad thing, will update.
Oh yeah, I changed to a frying pan to continue the reduction, but forgot to mention.
Next, I added a healthy amount of heavy whipping cream. And then a second dose, to taste.

>>2672
Then reduce the sauce to a level consistancy and taste.
Finally to finish these bitches off right and proper, take the brats from the microwave and place them in a bowl with the sauce mixture. You'll want to set a bbq to ~350 to preheat. Once that's ready, open the top, drop the temperature to about 200deg with indirect heat. Swirl the brats in the sauce, and then place them on. You'll only need about 5 minutes, as you'll just be drying and crisping thg e bratwurst casing with the sauce.
Pic 4 is finished, and pic 5 is the end result. I opted to garnish with sauerkraut and drrizzle a little bit of the sauce along the rim, and I find that the bun soaks up just enough with a dab or two. And yes, I put sauerkraut on it this time. It doesnt work as well with 'standard' (previous iterations) of beer brats, but it worked oh so well with this one.

So there you have it; triple-reduction, evolved beer bratwurst

>>2671
>mp4
>Pink spatula
What's the song in the background?
>>2673
It looks nice.
What do they smell like and do they taste burned or were they fine?

>>2674
Iirc Seven Deadly Sins was playing in the background. Also, it looks pink cuz lighting, but its red.

As for the sauce, yes. You could taste the charred flavor before adding cream, and still a bit after adding the cream. This is why I opted to use sauerkraut to mask the bitterness of the burn flavor. It worked great, but again I dont know how it will taste without burning the sauce. It could be that the flavor profile is boosted by the unintentional burning, but then it could be that a better profile could be achieved by not burning. Can't say until I run another experiment. And even then, theres an endless spectrum of possible flavors to experiment with.

I don't know where to put this but i'm going to share my recipe for hot chocolate here.

1.2-3 squares of 85% to 90% chocolate.(lindt is my favorite dark chocolate and i think it works great with this as well as it has no soy in it, you can use any chocolate you want but i think dark is best and i highly recommend you check if it has soy in the chocolate before you get it)
2. 1 tsp of brown sugar.
3. 2 - 3 mints. (about 1 mint per square of chocolate, also mint tastes nice with dark chocolate)
4. 1 tsp of coffee, (coffee is coffee but you know use your favorite preferably)
5. (optional) 2 tsp of either golden or maple syrup (gives it that sweet wood taste)
6. add water
7. then milk (about 50 ml - 100 ml)

This has been my personal favorite recipe for a long time and i hope you anons like it, i think it's better because it doesn't have soy in this recipe as opposed to the packaged shit which has soy

Celestia, give me wisdom to help these hamburgers... It's no wonder America is such a cancerous and fat country, you guys have no idea what is food and what isn't. I'll make a mega post trying my best to help you guys eat better, give me some hours. Here are my qualifications:
>Brazilian
>White
>Skinny until 18 yo, now 10% body fat and muscular enough.
>Cooked meals my whole life, put up muscle without supplements because I was eating real foods.
>I'm not chad, just regular non-hamburger.

>>2728
Looking foward to the food lesson.
And speaking of food.
Homemade pizza.
Add more or less
616 grams bread flour
15 grams yeast
16-15 grams sugar
15 grams salt

About 2 cups of water
About 2 table spoons of olive oil

Second try
More flour (640, 480 bread flour, rest is double o)
14.5 grams yeast about the same (two packets)
Same sugar
Same salt

[Double o it's not as good as just king author flour]

So this try is more flour 700 grams of flour (all bread flour, pillsbury and white lily in half and half)
18 grams of sugar
42 grams of salt
Partially done in the machine.
Then hand kneeded and let rest for an hour ish.
[It's a little bit salty, but still great]

The sauce (whatever one you like, here's the one we did this time.
Tomato paste (table spoon)
Tomato sauce (half a can) both Contadina
Italian seasoning (fresh herbs taste great)
Oregano
Msg
Basil (and basil from the garden dried.)
Half a can of V8
Garlic
Onion
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Soy sauce just a sprinkle

The other sauce
Same thing except with fresh tomatoes from the garden, and no v8.
Leftover sauce in the freezer
Red chili flakes.
(Cooked in the pan, then blended, and put back on the stove top)

Oven with a pizza stone.
Heat to the highest it can get. 500 on whatever the pizza setting is. And warm up the stone till it's up to temperature.

The pizza dough this time is crisp. Works well with thin crusts and thick crusts.
The amount is for four portions.
Each pizza takes 10 minutes in the oven.
With breaks inbetween to have the pizza stone reheat (also to make the next pizza)

> When I say "not food", I mean that it is not good enough to be your main dish.
> Also, when I say "its not food" I mean that if you eat it as part of your daily diet you will probably die tomorrow, everything you ponies cooked here is better than the junk that comes in a bottle, but it doesn't mean it qualifies as a meal nor that it was good for your body.

>>89
Premade is as good as fast food. You probably ate enough salt for a whole week. Buy your fish in the market.
Also oil is not food, it's merely for cooking, use enough to wet the frying pan and no more.
>>90
Deep fried meat is not food. Just cook it.
>>97
Don't fry your rice, cook it. Else you will be drinking a shitton of oil, and oil is not food.
>>102
I do, just cook it and put it in the freezer, it doesn't lose value as long as it doesn't spoil. I usually freeze Rice, Beans, Pasta and (well) cooked meat. Heat it up with a pinch of water not oil.
>>216
Taco is not food, even if you cook it yourself. Get rid of the Seasoning (pure salt shit) and Tostada bowl (literal junk food) and eat what is left.
Cheese doesn't belong in your main meal;
Sour cream isn't food;
Guacamole isn't food;
Don't eat tacos, look at mexican's IQ to know why.
>>224
Based water drinker, but vinagrette is not food, I would avoid it unless it's cheat day. Also meat > vegs anyday anywhere
>>330
Bread is not food, white bread is pure junk carb. It will spike your insulin for 4 seconds and leave you hungry for 5 hours.
>>331
Bread is not food, get rid of that bread skin and eat the ingredients only. Also you can use half as much seasoning, seasoning isn't food. Get rid of the beer, beer is not food.
>>400
Cake is not food.
>>852
Cookies are not food. Make sure you put some eggs in the bread to make up for the fact that bread is not food.
>>860
Too much salt, DO NOT PUT SUGAR IF IS NOT DESERT, use biological fermentation instead of soda. Put some eggs instead to make up for the shit that is white flour. Bread is not food because wheat flour has literally negative nutritional value. It spikes your insulin for 4 seconds and leaves you hungry for 5 days.
>>863
Oil is not food, sugar is not food, salt is not food and flour is not food. It might be tasty but it will only spike your insulin for 4 seconds and make you hungry for 5 years. BREAD IS NOT FOOD, it can never be.
Funny enough I love bread.
>>897
Brazilian tip: Rice and Brown Beans for carbs, cow and chicken for proteins. Eggs too.
>>898
Lasagna is not food. meatloaf is not food. Just eat the fucking meat don't ruin it. There is no salvation for lasagna it is literal junk food.
>>933
Bread is not food. Even tho I love bread myself.
>>937
This is not dinner, this is junk food.
>>951
Fucking based
>>958
Mayo is a condiment, not food. Don't eat things that aren't food unless you are on cheat day.
>>1176
Burger is shitmeat. Eat beef.
>>1363
Sausage is shitmeat, Eat literally anything else. Bread is probably better than sausage, the only thing worse than sausage is a hotdog.
>>1747 >>1868
Don't ruin chicken with nonfoods and shitloads of condiments, just eat the chicken.
>>2075
I might as well just drink ocean water.
>>2090
More salt them chicken, you can replace all the spice for the garlic powder.
Don't fry anything
>>2259 >>2260
Based
>>2299
Don't fry shit. When you fry something are just eating oil, and oil is not food.
>>2330
Just eat the corn.
>>2586
Based as long as you don't drop 500g worth of salt there.
>>2673
Literal junk food. But looking delicious, good job.
>>2729
Off everything you listed only Onion, Tomato and Soy are food, and you know what they say about soy.
Don't put sugar unless it's desert.

I'm very sad with everypony's eating habits. Coming next I'll show you bois the base of Brazilian food, it's pretty cheap and easy to cook.

>>2330
Correction, this is based. Sorry.

Rice: Rice is cheap, good quality carbs. You eat rice if you are going to move your body. If you are going to sit down all day skip the rice or it will turn into body fat.

>Buy Eletric Rice Maker for 2 dollars in negro friday
>Put as much rice as you need in the bowl.
>Put twice as much water. (1 cup of rice? them 2 cups of water)
>Cut the Garlic with a knife as small as you can, or use a tool to smash it if you don't like to chew garlic. Throw it in the bowl.
>Turn it on.
> Eat

Brown Beans: Brown beans are a good source of non-animal (vegetal?) protein and iron. Eat beans everyday.

>Buy pressure electric pan for free in wallmart.
>Put the beans there.
>Put as much water as you put beans (1 cup of beans? then 1 cup of water)
>Cut the Garlic with a knife as small as you can, or use a tool to smash it if you don't like to chew garlic. Throw it in the bowl.
>Turn it on.
>Eat

Meat: Eat meat everyday. This is how you cook ANY meat:

>Go to the butcher house, buy fresh meat.
>Get a frying pan, a electric one is probably fine but I never had one.
>Use low fire, don't blast the fire oven.
>Put just enough oil to grease the pan, or butter, or pig fat, or anything that doesn't evaporate.
>Put garlic.
>Put the meat and wait. (Don't press it with the spatula else it will be hard to chew)
>Flip it and wait.
>Eat.

Cooking Potatoes, tomatoes, onions, pasta etc:

>Get a pot.
>Get water to boil point.
>Put Garlic.
>Cut the thing in small parts
>Put the thing you want to cook inside pot.
>Bite test to check if ready.
>Eat.

That is usually what I do. This is a picture of what I had for lunch two years ago. It is very carb heavy because it's before going to the gym. After the gym I would (ideally) have more meat and beans.
When I get sick of garlic I buy those industrial seasoning, but if you like onions you can use onions instead of garlic, for literally every food. Been a while since I got sick of Garlic, I probably developed a taste.

That is basically what got me in a good (enough) shape. Right now I lost some muscle because of the lockdown but I'm probably still around 10% body fat and weighting around 70 kilos for 175 cm height.
Before gym I was 48 kilos and 2% body fat (had a sick and AIDS look)
And my peak was 75 kilos and 8% body fat.

Finally, if I where to try and get leaner and stronger I would probably talk to a nutritionist, so this is as much as I can help. Hope you burgers well. It's funny because you guys have to lose weight and I have to put on weight so we are playing the same game on different layers.

>>2730
Now hold on, you need to feed yourself and maintain the good intestinal ecosysten.
Oil has its place. It's just energy.
Sugar is the same thing. How you use it is important, and why you use it. Use sugar to feed the yeast for more bubbles, preservation, or for energy of last resort. Everything can eat sugar.
You need salt. To stay healthy and keep a rational amount of water. Eating frozen or fast food is packed with too much salt.
The vitamins and minerals are needed to be healthy.
Having the energy needed to do stuff is needed, and too much can hurt.
The complete protein (meats, fish, some combination of vegetables) so you literally rebuild yourself so you don't deteriorate.

>>2731
Rice is nice and easy. Good for any kind of flavor.
>>Go to the butcher house, buy fresh meat.
Yes always try to by the freshest meat you can. Eggs will work in the mean time.
That's nice to have sometimes, and it's simple to do.
Sometimes you need something that tastes good, is good for you and isn't extremely difficult.

>>2732
Holy well I forgot about the eggs. Yes 100%. Eggs are super based. I unfortunately got sick of eggs... Maybe it's high time to go back to eating eggs. Fricking super food I bet one can survive a year only on eggs.
I'll brush up my knowledge on oils and sugar brother, but as of now I'll stand my ground on close to zero consumption of these two. As for salt I find garlic salty enough.
Also yes I have some carrots, spinach, beet, lettuce and vegan shit every other day, but rice, beans and meat is every day.

>>2734
That sounds like a healthy combination. If you really crave something (not sugar) you might need it for your body.
Rice and beans is a good base to ensure you have what you need, and the meat rounds it off.
Garlic is really good for you. Also onions for any kind of body building work.

Yummy food here.

Today I'm revisiting beer brats, come along for the ride.
We'll be using store beerbrats (all that was available) and 48oz of Frio 6.0. I plan to experiment with the sauce.
When initially cooking the sauce. You will want to start at around 6-7, and then increase temp as beer cooks off

>>2757
Is there anything different this time?

>>2758
I suppose, now that you mention it, that the difference would be a matter of sauce color and flavor.
You're right, my bad, I wont post

>>2758
I did include sesame oil and a few other experiments, but you're too fucking puritanical about shit to care then arent you? Go bounce on a baseball bat you churlish and self-appointed gatekeeper

And yeah, for those non-nazi, pro-foodie folks out there,

After boiling the beer down, post brat extraction, I added a out a cup of beer broth

>>2759
>I suppose, now that you mention it, that the difference would be a matter of sauce color and flavor.
Of course.
>You're right, my bad, I wont post
You can post it if you want, i just wanted to know what you put into it as opposed to the last time.
>>2760
>I did include sesame oil and a few other experiments
What are the other things?
>but you're too fucking puritanical about shit to care then aren't you?
Kek, yes if it isn't exactly how Gordon Ramsey made it then miss me of the list.
>Go bounce on a baseball bat you churlish and self-appointed gatekeeper
Okay, i'll resume my guard duty's then.
>>2761
>After boiling the beer down, post brat extraction, I added a cup of beer broth
And how was it on your pink plate? Did it meet your majesty's expectations?

Or maybe it was when I mixed 1 pt Worcestershire sauce with 1pt teriyaki and 1 pt aji mirin and put that in the brat sauce, is that different enough the fuck for (you)?

Or maybe if (you) have nothing to contribute to the thread, you rightly go fuck yourself sideways with a dough bit attached and leave actual posters alone yea k?

>>2763
>is that different enough the fuck for (you)?
Almost, i think it needed some parsley or maybe some basil, without it, it isn't truly gourmet worthy.
>>2764
>Or maybe if (you) have nothing to contribute to the thread, you rightly go fuck yourself sideways with a dough bit attached and leave actual posters alone yea k?
Which way should i be performing this yoga move? Does it require me to be a professional?

>>2765
I dont know why you're opting to be unnecessarily adversarial in this, so I'll just suggest that you opt to not

>>2766
Fine.
All i wanted was to know what different coating of shit you gave it this time but you took it personally for some reason. I didn't come here to wage war over beer brats.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a thread can be killed in a few easy steps.
In the meantime, the brats are grilling. All the measurements are accurate, with the same dunking and then grilling method, making sure to bake the flavor to the skin.
This is an important step btw, and iterating it is essential, per the Forum Authority of Cooking Universal (FAC U)

>>2757
Thanks for posting. It's looking good so far, and I can't wait to see the brats finished.
Things can be stressful or bleak, and with those emotions let's use them a fuel for those that deserve it and for the projects you want.
>>2758
Peace, lurk on the thread and see the pattern emerge and have some patience. Tone is heavily predicated on direct words with no suvtext to accurately convey the intent of the message, which leaves a wide array of places where communication can break down on multiple levels from all sides.

>>2761
>And yeah, for those non-nazi, pro-foodie folks out there,
Those are not mutually exclusive. Paying attention to your health and those around you so you can build your best possible self in the most delicious fashion isn't a crime. Neither is ensuring what is put into the body does not exceed the tolerances per person.
More importantly is dealing with apathetic or malevolent entities that don't care what you consume. Especially those things in the food and drink industry.
I will say the human body can deal with an incredible amount of bullshit and become the peak it can be.

>>2770
I've never been able to trust those weird-coloured drinks. Soft drinks, hard drinks, energy drinks... If it's blue or black or it comes in a can I don't trust it.
But still, part of me always wonders what this flavour of this branded bullshit would taste like, and what that flavour would taste like, and if this "after-workout health drink" and "pre-workout energy drink" would really do anything good.

>>2770
Well played. The left brioche bread(bun) was toasted, otherwise the drizzle is the remaining brat sauce, with a sprig of sauerkraut to cut the intense fatty flavor of the thrice-baked sauce and the brats

I'm just saying now, it's better unburnt

>>2770
How difficult is it to understand "Is there anything different this time?" it's just about the most blandest thing i could possibly have posted, should i have instead said "what's poppin this time daddy-o?" to convey how much of a cunt i am?
>>2772
The milkshakes taste like condensed milk with shit thrown in, the soda's have unique flavors which is why each brand has different sorts of audiences, you will see normal people drinking diet anything from the cola brand then you will see unwise people drinking energy drinks that have more caffeine than a overpriced coffee from star cucks.
>>2773
I hope you enjoyed it,your highness.

>>2774
I guess (you)'ll never know will you,

>>2773
Nice, it looks great. I'm not sure if sauteed onion would be nice, but intuition is telling me it would be a nice addition.
>>2772
Health drinks, and workout mystery liquid boils down to a couple of things you can make at home.
Don't become a slave to them, but widening what flavors are available is a neat pasttime.
Teas, extracts, and 'soups'.
Tea and stuff in water over time is good. Lemon water is a classic.
Taking the important bits out of vegetables and stuff and putting it into other stuff is useful, if time consuming.
'Soups' is a broad category for any kind of liquid. Mostly because I'm too lazy atm. By blending stuff, or, fermentation, or cooking it into a liquid that's drinkable one can get all sorts of benefits that taste good.
>>2774
>spoiler
Gotta spice it up. Pics are great for placing the reader into the correct mood.
Such as this example.

The words you choose are bland, ripe for emotional tainting.
>pic related

Without the cute poner it's just a rebuke from a faceless antagonist force. Perhaps a bit arrogant considering previous poor word choices from myself. With the pony it's from someone who cares about you, and those in the thread concerned for the wellbeing of every anon.
Going the extra mile and placing yourself and the person you're speaking with on the same side. Usually with a positive about them or the action. It's exhausting, but maintaining a nice place is worth it. I think it's worthy price for myself usually. Except for those really terrible days, then it's enduring the storm till the bright sky is above head again.
Even if some of those pretty words are not 100% honest at the time, looking back they have a nugget of truth.
Sometimes things get out of hand, and it happens more often then not over long periods of time and exposure.

>>2777
nice trips
I hope kek shows you how to make even more beer catsand maybe teach you better table manners.
>>2778
This is the way i talk in real life and how i act as a human bean, i either am extremely bland or making myself laugh.
Sure someone might cry over my staleness and dryness, i have never acted like the most social tool in the shed, if i was to describe myself as a tool i would say that i sexually identify myself as a axe.
I do not like to portray myself through a facade as it is a ego enhancer or a manifestation of one's want to control how they are seen by others, i don't want to have a negative atmosphere around me but if edgy anons are crying over my incredibly over excessive edginess then i guess i will have to throw in a few more fuck (You)'s I'll try and stop playing as rough with the kids if it'll cause less tears, uncle anon.

Beer brats again
Tonight's experiment: Blue Cheese Bacon-wrapped, Evolved Beer Brats

>>2812
The bleu cheese bacon bratwurst project was scrapped, after a few attendees expressed disdain for the rich tasty cheesr.
No matter, it was an extra batch, which = more sauce, which means,...
Bacon-wrapped salmon and asparagus with 3x evolved beer brat sauce
I had long suspected - and rightly so - that among the variety of things this sauce goes good with - that the sauce pairs well with bacon-wrapped salmon and. I was correct
I used about 5/4" salmon strips, butchered and then frozen. I wrapped bacon around 6-7 thinner asparagus spears pressed against st the frozen salmon strip like a weird sushi roll. I sprinkled a decent amount of ground salt, pepper, and garlic Powder
Setting the grill at ~425 for 30 minutes, as well as an added 15 minutes, I cooked them bitches. They were fucking delicious

>>2819
Pics
I also sprinkled them with dill weed before grilling.
After grilling, I poured beer brat sauce along them, and then sprinkled dried carmelized onions across the top. Like seriously, I am proud of how delicious this was.

Oh. Btw, when I made the beer brat sauce I added about a cup of bacon grease at the point I added the heavy cream. Not for the first time, I'm told this was the best tasting beer brats edition, and it is evidently likewise on the salmon and.
Play with your food

Blackjack is a favorite of mine, as it is not terribly difficult to make and is pretty cost efficient depending on what you put into it, oats aren't very expensive neither is butter or sugar and pretty much everyone has sugar or butter in their homes, gas mark 5 (190C, 375F) on the cobblestone furnace.
Ingredients:
Demerara sugar, (215 grams) rolled oats, (215 grams, it's very important that it is rolled oats) butter, (120 grams) dark chocolate, (4 squares, the dark chocolate is 90%) golden syrup (4 tbsp), maple syrup, (1 tbsp) honey (1 tbsp) ginger, (1 tsp) cinnamon (1 tsp) and a half of a orange.

Step 1.
Make sure the oven is heated and turn on the 9th circle of hell to low.
Step 2.
Melt the butter until there is no blocks and is just liquid, make sure to stir it around.
Step 3.
Add in the sugar and mix in with the syrups. (pic 1)
Step 4.
Put the rolled oats in and mix with the rest of the shit until it looks like pic 2 and make sure there is no oats left on the sides of the pan.
Step 5.
Put the ginger, cinnamon and chocolate in and mix until it looks like pic 3.
Step 6.
Squeeze the orange into it then add the squeezed orange and mix it in.
Step 7
Put applejack into a oiled baking tray and flatten her out like shown in pic 4.
Step 8.
Slap that bitch into the Auschwitz annihilator and wait 20 minutes then take out and cool for 15 mins.

That's it, i call it blackjack because it looks like i threw squid ink into it.
Last pic is the end result, just after taking it out of the Jew burner.

By the way demerara sugar is just good old fashioned slave cane sugar.

>>2812
>>2819
>>2827
I missed alot of recipes. They look good.

Eggs Benedict.
Yolk, paprika, cayenne, and lemon juice.
Use about four egg yolks to over a baseball field and drench everything with leftover sauce.
Or use one-two for enough for a single serving.
1. Seperate yolks. (Use egg whites for all sorts of cooking applications, but not for this.)
2. Season with cayenne (paprika if you want)
3.Put the whisking pot, over some heated water to slowly cook it without scrambling. If you don't mind them raw, or have faith in other means methods or the power of lemon skip this.
4. Use a blender, a whisky boi, or beat the sob till it doubles in size.
5. Add lemon. Somewhere between an eighth and a fourth of a lemon. Half a lemon is too much. You can also add this before hand.
Optionally chill and then serve.

Poached egg.
Egg(s), water, and edible acidic element. Lemon, vinegar, apple cider vinegar, rice wine vinegar, whatever. Keep it simple.
1. Get a pot of water, and acid of choice (lemon works, but use more than a half of a lemon for better white cohesion)
2. Get the water and acid mix boiling
3. Stir in a constant circle. (So the egg will follow the water movement and won't stick to the bottom or break)
4. Crack the egg in.
5. Cook to desired yolky doneness. 3-4 very yolky and maybe just undercooked. 4-5 jelly to done, 5-6 everything is solid and dead for sure.
6. Remove from water. (If you don't put it into an ice bath it will continue to cook. Optionally remove earlier)
7. Serve
You could use the egg water for a soup base (vinegar and other acids are handy to get that tricky calcium from bones) for a little extra protei, and acidic taste.

>>2830
I should mention for the eggs to drop the temperature to a simmer.

>>88
>>90
How to Hollandaise on steak?

Beer brats log, stargate 1488.69.1337
Our foodie mission has reached a new pinnacle; the acquisition of a phatty bbq smoke pit. Our maiden venture? Brisket.
In lieu of recent attempts to successfully integrate bacon fat into the beer brat sauce, I opted to boil the beer/brats with a healthy chunk of trimmed brisket fat. This became more essential as I realized that I was out of beef broth. Luckily, you can make beer broth from brisket fat.
So that's what I did. It worked pretty well, I give it a 7 overall, compared to previous attempts (the bacon fat experiment was a 9). I did have to use a bit of Worcestershire and teriyaki during the de-glaze, but overall I'm satisfied with the improvised recipe.

Next time:
Bacon-wrapped beer brats with sauce injection!
it sounds simple enough, but in order to bacon wrap beer brats you have to do a whole lot of funky monkey shit at intervals, but I'm satisfied with my tests and am gearing up to proceed

>>2830
Eggs Benedict, my only weakness. How did you know??

It's the weekend again, so it's time for another beer brat experiment!
Today's experiment will involve 3 types of bratwurst preparations.
The first is plain barbecued bratwurst. No boiling, nothing fancy, just plain old slow-cooked wood-smoked brats on our new bbq pit. I'm so excited.
Next up, we have the most preferred beer brat recipe, the triple reduction, except the grill finishing will be done on the smoker.
And lastly, Im nixing the injection for now: smoked, bacon-wrapped, three-ccheese beer bratwurst with triple reduction sauce

Now for this recipe, I have to make 2 substitutions. One, I'm out of beef broth (still) AND cooking wine so for a de-glaze I'm using rice vinegar. And beyond that, I couldnt get any 211 steel reserve, so I'll be performing this rendition with Old Milwaukee. Fingers crossed, let's get cookin'!

>>2929
Alright. First off, this experiment was a failure.
I over pre-cooked the bacon, which was still tender but cooked to the point that it wanted to break rather than bend. The problem with this experiment is that the bacon has to be started in the oven to finish at the same time as the melted cheese and the sauce glaze.

Better luck next time. I still succeeded in most of the experiment, which was,....

After boiling the brats, instead of letting them rest in the microwave, I threw them in the freezer to cool. Not fully, but enough that when I cut into them they dont spill open. With a 2/3 sliver through the brats, I added a 1/4" slice of extra sharp cheddar, and then took fresh-grated parmesan cheese and packed it in along the cheddar. Oh yeah, I nixed the bleu cheese because without the bacon wrap the cheese would just melt off. Bleu cheese tends to sorta liquify when you melt it, and without a casing, wrap, or other, it will just drip off.

So after the basic brats, theres triple redux smoked brats, and triple redux 2-cheesed brats

Let's taste the cheese first!

Okay, Ima need a sec

>>2930
Uhm, honestly I dont know which is better. The sharp cheddar and parmesan cuts a little bit of the bite of the brat sauce, while giving it a mild background of flavor (mild, when contrasted with the other flavors). The mouth feel is also noticeably better.

Ngl, the cheezy brats were a failure on intended implementation buuuuuuuutttt,....
It's still better. I cant wait until next time, cuz I'll nail the blue cheese AND the bacon!

>>2925
>>2929
>>2930
>>2931
Looks good.
>I nixed the bleu cheese because without the bacon wrap the cheese would just melt off. Bleu cheese tends to sorta liquify when you melt it, and without a casing, wrap, or other, it will just drip off.
What if you injected it into the brat?
I would also suggest nuts probably slivered almonds as well.
I highly recommend roasted Hatch green chilles, that might cut through with the heat and it's different from other kind of peppers. Ghost pepper (not alot) thrown in while the brats boil would give a nice heat.

>>2932
Indeed, I've been thinking that spice is the next layer of flavor/sensation to add, but so far I've only put thought in and no applied tests. Habaneros are a favorite for flavor, but I have a wicked ghost pepper sauce. Perhaps both with a bit of citrus to cut the intense heat.
Much to think about, until next time

>>88
Is pre-cooking your meals in big batches and reheating them before eating them based and redpilled or trash and cringepilled?

>>2934
My old chemistry teacher did that despite his age he was fit. The gentleman had life experience and was/is respectable. Cooked for either the whole week or a month can't remember which. When he and his wife made a staggering amount of premade meals.
Very... utilitarian.
Bulk cooking is good, and fast, and potentially inexpensive. Getting experience cooking and tasting the right flavor might be more risky for trying new things that are more bizarre.
Also make sure it's a balanced diet over the course of the week. If you really crave something that's not sugar you might be missing something.
It's doable, have to make sure some vitamins don't decay or break down too much. So a bit of fresh zest to spruce up the meal might be a nice addition...

>>2934
Its entry-level redpilled

>>2925
>brisket
dalmation rub, fresh coarse cracked pepper & kosher salt is ideal, 50/50
rub the brisket, put in smoker, big end towards flame
smoke at 200-250 for 2-3 hours
take brisket out, coat with bbq sauce, cover in foil, leaving top open
open beer, half for you, half gets poured in the brisket tin foil
cover top of brisket with foil, put back in smoker
smoke until internal temp is 203F (check fat end and skinny end) (buy a digital thermometer you mong)
take brisket out, let rest 30 minutes

that's my recipe for a shitty brisket, like what you would get served at a restaurant

for the best brisket you have ever had, add the following steps before cooking
when you bring the brisket home in the plastic cryopack, stash it in the back of the fridge, make sure it doesn't freeze
come back 4 weeks later, your brisket has been wet aged

I have wet aged as long as 6-7 weeks, it only gets better, but feels pretty dicey at that point

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I FUCKING DID IT!!! AAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ahem. I decided tonight that it was time. So let's get into it.
>pics related
BACON
WRAPPED
THREE
CHEESE
STUFFED
EVOLVED
BEER
BRATWURST
WITH
BACON
WRAPPED
SALMON
AND
ASPARAGUS
GUS
Gus
gus

Now, if you havent tried cedar plank grilling, I highly recommend it; it's like having a smoker except on easy mode. Gives food a kice smokey flavor. Just,... make sure it doesnt catch fire.

But anyway! The experiment was a complete success. The brats were prepared as usual up until cooling. Then were stuffed with a combination of fine grated gouda, finely diced blue cheese crumble, and extra sharp white cheddar. The salmon and asparagus bacon wraps were not an experiment, as I was trying to duplicate a previous result.
Bacon wrap worked (dont hesitate to use toothpics) on the brats, cedar plank worked on the brats, I'm rating this a 100% success! Keep playing with your food!

>>2952
Yummy.

Not gonna go off the rails, just offering a bit of advice. If a store is selling "pork tenderloin" and it's 2lbs or more, expect it to be two loins and plan for it.
Also, not thrilled by pork wellington, and exceedingly skeptical of beef wellington now

>>88
What meals are good for preparing in bulk?

>>3284
Chicken thighs, potatoes, vegetables, and salads.

Prepared 3 chicken meals today. They turned out good. Can't wait to eat them.

>>3299
They were good.
Is there a way to cook chicken that's healthier than frying it?

>>3312
Propane grill is my preferred method. Oven baked is a close second. If you fry, try to not use corn or canola oil, cuz trans fats get nasty when they are fried

>>3312
Don't forget soups. A good chicken noodle soup is a remedy I do recommend. A nice pan sear is nice, and oven cooking opens up alot of different choices.
If retaining nutrition is a key factor steaming might be okay, but I haven't tried it with chicken. Smoking for preservation and flavor is really nice.

>>3314
>smoking
Fukking this. I omitted smoking cuz without the right setup it can be a hassle (and sometimes with) but seriously, smoking is a tremendous way to go if you can manage it. Lower cook temp means less wasted nutrients and better texture, great flavor (be choosy about your woods), and,... well theres really not much else to say than absolute patrician-tier.

>>3316
I am a newfag at cooking and I've never smoked anything. How do you smoke chicken and get the right wood?

>>88
We have this thing called eðla. Take a mold, put a layer of cream cheese, then a layer of salsa (Doritos salsa works best for me), then a layer of shredded cheese. Optionally add pepperoni or something in between the salsa and shredded cheese. Put in the oven at 200°C until cheese is melted and optionally browned.

5 minutes to prepare, delicious, keto, and very healthy and nutritious.