This thread begins at the start of the week, where developmental/story activity is minimal/nil and shitposting/meta is at its most emphatic.
This is an RP based on classic D&D, if you've looked at the catalog you might have noticed a trend. New players, random posters, and shitposters alike are welcome.
/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal
1126 replies and 140 files omitted.
>>49306
[At-ease monster noises]
"Yeeeeeessssssss... Pay good attention to those tracks of land, hoo-man.."
[At-ease monster noises]
"Yeeeeeessssssss... Pay good attention to those tracks of land, hoo-man.."
>>49310
"~Hmmmmm...! That's not going to get you out from under there any faster, eff why eye." She coos teasingly
"Now put your hands back on those tracks."
"~Hmmmmm...! That's not going to get you out from under there any faster, eff why eye." She coos teasingly
"Now put your hands back on those tracks."
>>49313
"please no bully... I thought they were different on a horse than a human..."
*pulls out an empty potion flask to collect mare milk in*
"please no bully... I thought they were different on a horse than a human..."
*pulls out an empty potion flask to collect mare milk in*
Random factiod about 5th century mare-milking (Warning: Will ruin mood):
>Kumis is an ancient beverage. Herodotus, in his 5th-century BC Histories, describes the Scythians processing of mare's milk:
>Now the Scythians blind all their slaves, to use them in preparing their milk. The plan they follow is to thrust tubes made of bone, not unlike our musical pipes, up the vulva of the mare, and then to blow into the tubes with their mouths, some milking while the others blow. >They say that they do this because when the veins of the animal are full of air, the udder is forced down. The milk thus obtained is poured into deep wooden casks, about which the blind slaves are placed, and then the milk is stirred round. That which rises to the top is drawn off, and considered the best part; the under portion is of less account.
I fucking love reading history.
>Kumis is an ancient beverage. Herodotus, in his 5th-century BC Histories, describes the Scythians processing of mare's milk:
>Now the Scythians blind all their slaves, to use them in preparing their milk. The plan they follow is to thrust tubes made of bone, not unlike our musical pipes, up the vulva of the mare, and then to blow into the tubes with their mouths, some milking while the others blow. >They say that they do this because when the veins of the animal are full of air, the udder is forced down. The milk thus obtained is poured into deep wooden casks, about which the blind slaves are placed, and then the milk is stirred round. That which rises to the top is drawn off, and considered the best part; the under portion is of less account.
I fucking love reading history.
>>49318
They're supposedly really, really difficult to milk normally, but I think you've found a special trick.
"~Mmmmmhh..! Oh, yes, keep doing that..! They've been so, so sore lately, and I could never reach them we'll enough..! ... Fuck, yes!"
They're supposedly really, really difficult to milk normally, but I think you've found a special trick.
"~Mmmmmhh..! Oh, yes, keep doing that..! They've been so, so sore lately, and I could never reach them we'll enough..! ... Fuck, yes!"
>>49319
*Continues thrusting penis to relax mare*
"There you go. Let those teats down and let it out"
*rubs, caresses, then squeezes crotch tits, aiming them into the flas*
*Continues thrusting penis to relax mare*
"There you go. Let those teats down and let it out"
*rubs, caresses, then squeezes crotch tits, aiming them into the flas*
"I-if you do that i'll.... Ah.. Ah.. ~Aaaaah..!! Oh Faust..!"
*Milk begins to dribble out*
*Milk begins to dribble out*
>>49322
[Straining monster noises]
*Twin Jets of smoke stream out*
*Twin Jets of milk stream out as well*
"..Ah Aaaaaaaaahhh!"
*Squirts*
[Straining monster noises]
*Twin Jets of smoke stream out*
*Twin Jets of milk stream out as well*
"..Ah Aaaaaaaaahhh!"
*Squirts*
>>49300
"I didn't shrink!" She objects,... but then thinks for a moment about how much fun it would be to be hidden in Infernius' pocket, and decides not to further argue.
>>49296
Not expressly. I mean, I don't know how much xp the temple is worth, she's just tired of never being able to advance anymore and the only way she's going to is by removing levels. Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.
"I didn't shrink!" She objects,... but then thinks for a moment about how much fun it would be to be hidden in Infernius' pocket, and decides not to further argue.
>>49296
Not expressly. I mean, I don't know how much xp the temple is worth, she's just tired of never being able to advance anymore and the only way she's going to is by removing levels. Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.
Thez curls up in Infernius' pocket and goes back to sleep. while GM ventures off to meatspace
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>>49329
>Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.
Obligatory Chad Fighter meme.
>Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.
Obligatory Chad Fighter meme.
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>>49329
Infernius should get one of those baby-holders, so Thez can ride him. He is a whole size class larger than her, after all: big enough to ride.
Either that, or give him a backpack with a chair and handlebars, like Master Blaster.
I'll stop now...
Infernius should get one of those baby-holders, so Thez can ride him. He is a whole size class larger than her, after all: big enough to ride.
Either that, or give him a backpack with a chair and handlebars, like Master Blaster.
I'll stop now...
How long does it take to activate an item with a passive affect, that activates "on command"? I think it's a free action, but i don't want to waste my next turn.
>tfw do math and realize that Tracy, at full size, can carry Trumpaladin at 500 ft (100 squares) per round overland, even in full-plate, after a full-round action to speed up
>Can get up to 510 ft, if he ahem spurs her, for one round
Holy horse. Should've avoided flying altogether and just overrun/trampled all of those skeletons to get to the lich last time. They would've reached her that much faster.
>Can get up to 510 ft, if he ahem spurs her, for one round
Holy horse. Should've avoided flying altogether and just overrun/trampled all of those skeletons to get to the lich last time. They would've reached her that much faster.
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Can someone explain the astral projection spell to me? Is it supposed to be for extraplanar travel? I've never used it, because I didn't know what it did.
Actually, may as well try it because Crimson skies.
*Astral projects*
Actually, may as well try it because Crimson skies.
*Astral projects*
>>49354
Oh, I see. It's like Plane Shift, only tougher to fortify against.
You basically manifest a second body on another plane, and fight there like in a video game, am I right?
Oh, I see. It's like Plane Shift, only tougher to fortify against.
You basically manifest a second body on another plane, and fight there like in a video game, am I right?
>>49355
One of its fun features is that it leaves the body vulnerable on the material plane
*pulls out marker*
\r
One of its fun features is that it leaves the body vulnerable on the material plane
*pulls out marker*
\r
>>49362
As far as I know, it projects a copy of you to any plane, including the prime material plane.
What is hyperborea?
As far as I know, it projects a copy of you to any plane, including the prime material plane.
What is hyperborea?
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>>49366
I'm feeling lazy tonight, so this is all you're getting for now.
I tried to recolor the dick, but it looked brown, and I didn't feel like saturating it.
A bull's dick looks different btw.
I'm feeling lazy tonight, so this is all you're getting for now.
I tried to recolor the dick, but it looked brown, and I didn't feel like saturating it.
A bull's dick looks different btw.
>>49370
Get a maid. The physical body is paralyzed while astral projecting. Also she doesn't have at will astral projection
Get a maid. The physical body is paralyzed while astral projecting. Also she doesn't have at will astral projection
>>49374
Yeah, but she could do it at least a couple times a day. She'd only need to hide in a hole for 15-20 minutes.
Yeah, but she could do it at least a couple times a day. She'd only need to hide in a hole for 15-20 minutes.
Oh, and Torcuil spontaneously has an aneurism and dies.
>inb4
Cuz I had "You are a pirate!" stuck in my head all goddamn day.
>inb4
Cuz I had "You are a pirate!" stuck in my head all goddamn day.
>>49387
Of course. I should clarify, the Crimson Skies is a meme from an old 1st person MMO. Whenever the programmers had to update or whenever they wanted chaos, they would engage Crimson Skies, where the sky would turn red, respawn was turned off, and it turns into a giant ffa. At the conclusion, everyone reverts to where they were when the sky turned red.
The crimson sky has nothing to do with the mage btw.
>>49389
One can move 5' and they can utilize any number of quick actions, but otherwise no
Of course. I should clarify, the Crimson Skies is a meme from an old 1st person MMO. Whenever the programmers had to update or whenever they wanted chaos, they would engage Crimson Skies, where the sky would turn red, respawn was turned off, and it turns into a giant ffa. At the conclusion, everyone reverts to where they were when the sky turned red.
The crimson sky has nothing to do with the mage btw.
>>49389
One can move 5' and they can utilize any number of quick actions, but otherwise no
>>49392
"Take it like a Mare! That's what Fort saves are for. You don't need no 200,000 GP ring you received for free. Now quit wasting time, and find this bastard. Giddy up!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G79UKneSjDQ
"Take it like a Mare! That's what Fort saves are for. You don't need no 200,000 GP ring you received for free. Now quit wasting time, and find this bastard. Giddy up!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G79UKneSjDQ
>>49393
Well, she's only running, so you could roll to control her during your turn while she activates it.
Well, she's only running, so you could roll to control her during your turn while she activates it.
>>49394
Actually, you shouldn't need to roll to control a mount that's already running in one direction.
Actually, you shouldn't need to roll to control a mount that's already running in one direction.
>>49399
No, I mean the ceilings in the hallways are not tall enough to allow Trump on a massive Cauchemar to run freely through the place
No, I mean the ceilings in the hallways are not tall enough to allow Trump on a massive Cauchemar to run freely through the place
*contemplates phasing through walls and making a bee-line towards the mage*
>>49403
If you roll a DC 15, you can drop down and hang from her flank, as you would when using her body for cover.
If you roll a DC 15, you can drop down and hang from her flank, as you would when using her body for cover.
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