This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.
Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.
There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.
The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.
Players should roll a d100
1023 replies and 135 files omitted.
>>47330A loud clanking sound, like throwing a tool box down a stairs and knocking over a china cabinet, is heard throughout the tower
\r
>>47327Jej! If i had some materials i would do it.
>>47322What's with the detection?
[1d20-14 = 3][1d20-14 = -5]>>47331Trumpaladin collects himself from the heap at the bottom of the stairs, puts out the fire he managed to set on himself, and continues
*moves stealthy*
>>47327EPIC!!!!
[1d20+23 = 38]>>47335>>47333"Nopony expects the Trumpaladin Inquisition!"
HUGS PONY!
>>47336Tracy is still in the woods hunting owlbears, until I can reintroduce her.
Also, I think I might just play her as Chaotic Neutral again, since it'd be easier for stealth, and Neither BG or Assassin have advancement restrictions on alignment.
[1d20+23 = 28]>>47337You had her come back and deliver a corpse. She's hugged
Rolling to continue hug
>>47339The comment where I had her re-enter the scene.
>>47341*cries*
"I don't want to lose you"
>>47342*materializes in front of him*
*Boop*
>>47344*licks nose where boop was done*
>>47345*pets pony and licks back*
[4d20 = 29]>>47349REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
FULL TICKLE RESPONSE!
>>47350*rolls over and giggles, hooves pawing the air*
>>47351*Wubs*
"Now where have you been?"
>>47336>>47342>>47341Where was he when he was looking for Tracy?
>>47352*wipes traces of blood off of her muzzle*
"Hunting."
>>47353>>47353>WhereI... Don't know. Time is weird here
"Now what are you hunting and why is its blood on your muzzle?"
*seems proud of himself*
"I killed two elephants"
>>47353Oh. You said "where." I would assume to the location specified earlier, where the owl bear was dropped off. I think That's her room. If not, then probably in the vicinity of the airship or on it. Maybe he returned to the bar area
>>47354"Some hairy beaked thingy I saw in the woods."
*shows head through bag*
>why"I normally only hunt on weekends, but this little glutton just always wants moar protein lately."
*holds abdomen*
>>47355Say they're in the tower.
>>47356"That's... that's a strange new animal I've never seen before. If you're craving meat we have four elephant corpses that haven't been touched yet.
Also, we have meat of our own"
*Holds up Trump brand Angus Steak, smiling as he does so, like he's posing for commercial or a cover image*
"And we can cook it"
Infernius should Awaken Sparkle before the party delves the dungeon again.
>Spakles reveals his last name to be Menendez-Alvaro
>Was smuggled in by pirates, he claims without his consent, at a very early age
Hey, at the risk of sounding like a metafaggot, where does the meat for the steakhouse come from? Is there a ranch/farm near here?
Also, how are the Generals and Gestapo paid? Sure, they're willing followers, but they have to eat and sleep too.
>>47359I want to develop awesome hitler-doggo's character sooner rather than later.
Also, Infernius should probably use Commune With Nature first, to test if he's worth awakening.
>>47361>meatWell, there are a few possible options. Port Barry itself has farmland surrounding it. Presumably at least some of the city's food supply comes in this way. It's also at a trading cross roads, so importation would be easy. But really, it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator. At least the steak served in the Tower is probably replicator
>Payment for the GeneralsMy original intention was that the American Football League would collect tithes basically like a real church, except of course it's a football league, so it's more like cable subscriptions. That and merchandising. Tickets are still free. I also set up Trumpaladin to have partial ownership in industries which would give an income based off of capital. But these were paid for by loans, so interest payments kind of balances it out. And if all that fails, just use treasure money. I looked up prices of things and they mostly aren't that expensive even for many people. The Kiynen money would last many weeks.
>>47362>>47363Alejandro Menendez-Alvaro will be a fun character to add
>>47363Clerics can't have familiars, but Adepts can get them at lvl 2. So If he's an NPC worth having, Infernius can be his familiar.
>>47364What's with the Spic name though? He's German.
>>47364I want to hire a spellcaster to craft shit for Tracy.
>>47364>it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator.Anon.. isn't that cheating?
>>47365Well adepts are combinations of several spell casting classes
>Appropriate nameGM said he is a Chihuahua
>>47366I'm not perfectly sure what we can do with NPCs, although I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters. I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.
Hire Torcuil. He needs a job
>>47367>CheatingGM needs to learn why it's dangerous to give so much haxx
>>47368Torc is a memeber of my gestapo.
>>47368>I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters.Not according to what I see on the wikis, they're just somewhat expensive. I'm not looking for any kind of spell further than third lvl anyway.
>I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.Both you and Infernius have that spell. It's what the religious PCs do before the start of every battle.
>>47369Well give him more work to do
>>47370>We have that spellAnd so does Fae. I want someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrows and such while I'm a hell of a lot closer to the center of the action
>>47371>someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrowsWhat does that have to do with Bless?
Also, you're the only PC who uses a bow.
>>47371Hes supposed to be studying rocketry.
>>47373Do sorcerers get knowledge engineering?
>>47372I see the spell I really wanted - magic weapon - is not available to adepts of any level. Eh, the +1 bonus on attack rolls from having an adept makes it worth it
>>47373>Giving an employee paid leave to "study"Anon...
>>47376Its not paid leave hes magical support. And i thought you imto space?
>>47377Then I'll ask a stupid question - does she have any interest in buffing Bows or Bolts for NPC archers before larger battles so they can overcome damage reduction
>>47379Magic Weapon doesn't last long. You're looking for actual magic weapons.
She can only use it once a day too.
>>47380Yeah it's one minute per caster level... I think. At least a minute is 10 rounds, so there could be time to cast it and move into place before an initiative roll and still have it last for a battle.
It's a Glory Domain spell, level 2, so i believe Fae will be able to cast it when she reaches Cleric Level 3, and since "Glory" is one of the two domains (the other being Law) I thought would be good choices for Elway-Columbia
>Actual Magic WeaponsI think those are relatively difficult to obtain. At least to obtain in quantity. Slovenia or someone can probably produce a decent number of Masterwork bows though
>>47380It only lasts 1 minute per caster level.
It's literally only meant for a character to be able to attack a monster with huge DR.
You could, yourself, also use Greater Magick Weapon to buff 50 arrows at once though.
>>47381>Elway-ColumbiaI'm pretty sure Clerics can't be polytheistic, or at least they can't choose domains from multiple deities.
Gllory is definitely Elway's domain though.
>>47382That's really all I need though
>Greater magic weapon for 50 arrowsNow that'll work!
I wish the BG spell list were as big as a Paladin of Slaughter's.. Sure, it's a prestige class, so it nerfed, but they could've given it Unholy Sword.
Then again, I guess that spell didn't exist when the class was written.
>>47383>PolytheismBut anon, it's not Polytheism, it's the Holy Trinity! Football, American, Elway. Or the Son, Holy Spirit and Father respectively.
>>47386Multiform deities are treated as one god and have the same domain.
>>47388I looked into deities quite a bit after killing Kefka, but didn't look very much into the worship aspect.
>>47389The books don't seem to give very much guidance on worship or building religions. You'd think they'd try to help-out Cleric PCs a bit.
>>47368Wait, what is Torc getting hired for?
>>47390Yo, thanks for the page.
Now a question for GM
when he gets back about it. You said Mr. Snek counts as Torc's familier, and of course Snek is also an item cause snek steff. What would happen if the staff became a item familier?
Hey, can Etherealness be used to materialize ethereal objects? I assume it can, since Devourers use that ability to travel to the material plane.
>>47395Tbh, idk about Snek. He seems to bend established norms in several places.
>>47302"Oooh, crookneck squash, and brussel sprouts, and asparagus!"
That's the first post we're responding to?>>47316>two moreYes. Only two. DEFINITELY not more.
>>47395>item familiarA what now?
>>47397Yes. Objects get no saving throw.
>>47398Oh cuz that's new for this thread,....
>>47399>not newWasn't say that was new, I just don't know how to apply stuff to him.
Does that Item Familiar UA apply?
>>47399>what nowI was reading Unearthed Arcana and saw a variant familiars page:
>>47390 >>47386I contest this. It should be Football,
the Denver Broncos, and Elway
>>47258Please do, I've been melancholy for days wondering if Thez' grand conclusion was gonna be turned into an ethereal statue and lost to time.
>>47250I know those feels all too well. I'm sorry about the circumstances, but I would be quite the liar if I said I wasn't overjoyed to see dozens of "Mrs. Sentry" as I scrolled the recent posts.
>>47402>>47401I've only skimmed it, but desu that seems the optimal way to explain Snek as an item/familiar/npc/mobile pistol turret
>>47404If he were made intelligent, he could transform into Snek at will.
>>47406Again, I've only skimmed, but conceptually that doesn't sound disagreeable
Okay, I have the stupidest question that will be asked all night.
How much bludgeon damage would Snek do if he was swung at an opponient from above?
>>47404Sold.
>>47406Sold.
Also, could Snek wheear a singular ring on his tail?
>>47408>>47409>ringsI'll allow it. Rings don't
have to be worn on the hand, though outside a (what's it) Magic Hand, one can still only use 2 at a time.
>bludgeon damageIs he in Snek form?
>>47409Pony tails don't work that way. Unless it's going on her dock. I can see that
>>47408>How much bludgeon damageSnek is a +1 Quarterstaff, and wizards are proficient in staffs.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Pythonhttps://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Quarterstafftl;dr enough to be considered a decent weapon, despite your weak-ass NEET arms.
>>47410>what's itYou mean a Hand of Glory?
Hey, since Kang Doot is still kicking, does that mean the curse on his arms are still active? I want to use his arms to make Mummy Rot weapons.
>>47412That's a good thing, because he'll need it when he's trapped in a Dimetrium cage and about to be sold as a sex slave by Griffons
>>47412That's the one.
>>47413I know it was only a few days, but gawd I missed you. Yes, his arms are still heinous. One of them is missing (unless recovered), but he's still got one dangling from a small chunk of 'flesh'.
>>47411That's what I had imagined
>>47412>>47410No no no, damage as a snek
Some monsters, like Hecatoncheires, have abilities that make them immune to almost all weapons except those tempered with the blood of a deity: does that imply that god blood can be used as an ingredient to craft superior weapons?
>>47415She definitely would've taken those arms.
>>47416Improvised weapon. You'd do more damage with the dagger.
>>47416I'm confused. Are you wielding a Snek as a weapon, or are you asking his unarmed melee damage?
[1d20+23 = 42]Alright, this is probably a terrible idea, but fuck it
>>47393Grabs tail of pony
>>47417But he's fucking huge
>>47418>Snek as a weaponThat's exactly what I'm asking. If I somehow used snek as a club, how much damage would he do?
>>47415Am i on the ethereal plane?
[2d20 = 31]>>47419[yelps]
*involuntary, instinctive kick* (sorry)
>>47422reeeeee>>47421Just retrieve Thez, get out of there before you get soul sucked by part of the undead army waiting there, and get her where she can be de-stoned
>>47420>he's fucking hugeYUGE weapons would be impossible for medium characters like Torc to wield.
\r
[1d20 = 20]>>47425>>47418*boops thez*
*casts break enchantment*
>>47421I didn't see the post where you actually declared his chosen action (nor the lead up where Infernius would have an idea where to even go), but sure. As long as the airship wasn't moved or anything, she should be right there, an oversized statue of a dwelf trying to correct their balance, floating in the middle of the Ethereal plane.
>>47426D'awww, the audience wants them reunited.
>>47430Of course, everyone loves a lub story.
>>47431
Why do you not want Thez to come back?