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nuts.png
Greedy Nuts
Anonymous
hlgVK
?
No.46427
46431 46437
This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.

Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.

There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.

The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.

Players should roll a d100
1023 replies and 135 files omitted.
0dklY
?
No.47331
47334
>>47330
A loud clanking sound, like throwing a tool box down a stairs and knocking over a china cabinet, is heard throughout the tower
\r
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47332
>>47327
Jej! If i had some materials i would do it.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47333
47335 47336
>>47322
What's with the detection?
0dklY
?
No.47334
47335
[1d20-14 = 3]
[1d20-14 = -5]
>>47331
Trumpaladin collects himself from the heap at the bottom of the stairs, puts out the fire he managed to set on himself, and continues

*moves stealthy*

>>47327
EPIC!!!!
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47335
47336
>>47333
>>47334

0dklY
?
No.47336
47337 47353
equestrian_inquisition__mlp_monty_python__by_discordthege-d9syq5k.png
[1d20+23 = 38]
>>47335
>>47333
"Nopony expects the Trumpaladin Inquisition!"

HUGS PONY!
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47337
47338 47339
>>47336
Tracy is still in the woods hunting owlbears, until I can reintroduce her.

Also, I think I might just play her as Chaotic Neutral again, since it'd be easier for stealth, and Neither BG or Assassin have advancement restrictions on alignment.
0dklY
?
No.47338
[1d20+23 = 28]
>>47337
You had her come back and deliver a corpse. She's hugged

Rolling to continue hug
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47339
47340
>>47337
>Until I reintroduce her
Reintroduce?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47340
47341
>>47339
The comment where I had her re-enter the scene.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47341
47342 47353
1504288825213.png
>>47340
*hugs an absent Tracy*

"I missed you..."
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47342
47343 47353
1121386__safe_artist-colon-vectorfag_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_oc only_earth pony_female_heart_pony_prone_sad_simple background_solo_swastika_trace_transpare.png
>>47341
*cries*
"I don't want to lose you"
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47343
47344
>>47342
*materializes in front of him*
*Boop*
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47344
47345
>>47343
reeeee
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47345
47346
>>47344
*licks nose where boop was done*
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47346
47347
>>47345
*pets pony and licks back*
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47347
47348
>>47346
[happy pony noises]
*nuzzles chest*
0dklY
?
No.47348
47349
[1d20+23 = 32]
>>47347
D'aww

HUGS PONY
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47349
47350
>>47348
>Attack of opportunity
*boop*
0dklY
?
No.47350
47351
[4d20 = 29]
>>47349
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

FULL TICKLE RESPONSE!
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47351
47352
>>47350
*rolls over and giggles, hooves pawing the air*
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47352
47353
>>47351
*Wubs*

"Now where have you been?"
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47353
47354 47355
bearhunting.jpg
>>47336
>>47342
>>47341
Where was he when he was looking for Tracy?
>>47352
*wipes traces of blood off of her muzzle*
"Hunting."
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47354
47356
>>47353
>>47353
>Where
I... Don't know. Time is weird here

"Now what are you hunting and why is its blood on your muzzle?"

*seems proud of himself*

"I killed two elephants"
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47355
47356
>>47353
Oh. You said "where." I would assume to the location specified earlier, where the owl bear was dropped off. I think That's her room. If not, then probably in the vicinity of the airship or on it. Maybe he returned to the bar area
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47356
47357
>>47354
"Some hairy beaked thingy I saw in the woods."
*shows head through bag*
>why
"I normally only hunt on weekends, but this little glutton just always wants moar protein lately."
*holds abdomen*
>>47355
Say they're in the tower.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47357
47393
>>47356
"That's... that's a strange new animal I've never seen before. If you're craving meat we have four elephant corpses that haven't been touched yet.

Also, we have meat of our own"

*Holds up Trump brand Angus Steak, smiling as he does so, like he's posing for commercial or a cover image*

"And we can cook it"
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47358
47359
Infernius should Awaken Sparkle before the party delves the dungeon again.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47359
47362
>>47358
Why?
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47360
>Spakles reveals his last name to be Menendez-Alvaro
>Was smuggled in by pirates, he claims without his consent, at a very early age
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47361
47364
Hey, at the risk of sounding like a metafaggot, where does the meat for the steakhouse come from? Is there a ranch/farm near here?
Also, how are the Generals and Gestapo paid? Sure, they're willing followers, but they have to eat and sleep too.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47362
47363 47364
264DEB2C00000578-2978965-Meet_Adolf_the_poor_Chihuahua_puppy_who_is_a_canine_dopelganger_-m-24_1425466164325.jpg
>>47359
I want to develop awesome hitler-doggo's character sooner rather than later.
Also, Infernius should probably use Commune With Nature first, to test if he's worth awakening.
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47363
47364 47365
1515800723762.jpg
>>47362

Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47364
47365 47366 47367
>>47361
>meat
Well, there are a few possible options. Port Barry itself has farmland surrounding it. Presumably at least some of the city's food supply comes in this way. It's also at a trading cross roads, so importation would be easy. But really, it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator. At least the steak served in the Tower is probably replicator

>Payment for the Generals
My original intention was that the American Football League would collect tithes basically like a real church, except of course it's a football league, so it's more like cable subscriptions. That and merchandising. Tickets are still free. I also set up Trumpaladin to have partial ownership in industries which would give an income based off of capital. But these were paid for by loans, so interest payments kind of balances it out. And if all that fails, just use treasure money. I looked up prices of things and they mostly aren't that expensive even for many people. The Kiynen money would last many weeks.

>>47362
>>47363
Alejandro Menendez-Alvaro will be a fun character to add
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47365
47368
>>47363
Clerics can't have familiars, but Adepts can get them at lvl 2. So If he's an NPC worth having, Infernius can be his familiar.
>>47364
What's with the Spic name though? He's German.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47366
47368
>>47364
I want to hire a spellcaster to craft shit for Tracy.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47367
47368
>>47364
>it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator.
Anon.. isn't that cheating?
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47368
47369 47370 47395
>>47365
Well adepts are combinations of several spell casting classes

>Appropriate name
GM said he is a Chihuahua

>>47366
I'm not perfectly sure what we can do with NPCs, although I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters. I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.

Hire Torcuil. He needs a job

>>47367
>Cheating
GM needs to learn why it's dangerous to give so much haxx
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47369
47371
>>47368
Torc is a memeber of my gestapo.
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47370
47371
>>47368
>I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters.
Not according to what I see on the wikis, they're just somewhat expensive. I'm not looking for any kind of spell further than third lvl anyway.
>I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.
Both you and Infernius have that spell. It's what the religious PCs do before the start of every battle.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47371
47372 47373
>>47369
Well give him more work to do

>>47370
>We have that spell
And so does Fae. I want someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrows and such while I'm a hell of a lot closer to the center of the action
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47372
47376
>>47371
>someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrows
What does that have to do with Bless?
Also, you're the only PC who uses a bow.
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47373
47374 47376
>>47371
Hes supposed to be studying rocketry.
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47374
47375
>>47373
Do sorcerers get knowledge engineering?
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47375
>>47374
I suppose.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47376
47377 47378
>>47372
I see the spell I really wanted - magic weapon - is not available to adepts of any level. Eh, the +1 bonus on attack rolls from having an adept makes it worth it

>>47373
>Giving an employee paid leave to "study"
Anon...
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47377
47379
>>47376
Tracy has Magic Weapon.
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47378
>>47376
Its not paid leave hes magical support. And i thought you imto space?
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47379
47380
>>47377
Then I'll ask a stupid question - does she have any interest in buffing Bows or Bolts for NPC archers before larger battles so they can overcome damage reduction
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47380
47381 47382
>>47379
Magic Weapon doesn't last long. You're looking for actual magic weapons.
She can only use it once a day too.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47381
47383
>>47380
Yeah it's one minute per caster level... I think. At least a minute is 10 rounds, so there could be time to cast it and move into place before an initiative roll and still have it last for a battle.

It's a Glory Domain spell, level 2, so i believe Fae will be able to cast it when she reaches Cleric Level 3, and since "Glory" is one of the two domains (the other being Law) I thought would be good choices for Elway-Columbia

>Actual Magic Weapons
I think those are relatively difficult to obtain. At least to obtain in quantity. Slovenia or someone can probably produce a decent number of Masterwork bows though
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47382
47384
>>47380
It only lasts 1 minute per caster level.
It's literally only meant for a character to be able to attack a monster with huge DR.
You could, yourself, also use Greater Magick Weapon to buff 50 arrows at once though.
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47383
47386
>>47381
>Elway-Columbia
I'm pretty sure Clerics can't be polytheistic, or at least they can't choose domains from multiple deities.
Gllory is definitely Elway's domain though.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47384
>>47382
That's really all I need though

>Greater magic weapon for 50 arrows
Now that'll work!
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47385
I wish the BG spell list were as big as a Paladin of Slaughter's.. Sure, it's a prestige class, so it nerfed, but they could've given it Unholy Sword.
Then again, I guess that spell didn't exist when the class was written.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47386
47387 47403
>>47383
>Polytheism
But anon, it's not Polytheism, it's the Holy Trinity! Football, American, Elway. Or the Son, Holy Spirit and Father respectively.

Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47387
47388
>>47386
Multiform deities are treated as one god and have the same domain.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47388
47389
>>47387
Well that was my idea
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47389
47391
>>47388
I looked into deities quite a bit after killing Kefka, but didn't look very much into the worship aspect.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47390
47395 47401 47402
I found a UA page that Torc might want to read:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Publication:Unearthed_Arcana/Item_Familiars
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47391
>>47389
The books don't seem to give very much guidance on worship or building religions. You'd think they'd try to help-out Cleric PCs a bit.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47392
927720-20animated_gif20applejack20fluttershy20my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic20omigosh20pinkie_pie20rainbow_dash20tagme.gif
Will update shortly
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47393
47419
>>47357
*humps leg*
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47395
47398 47399
>>47368
Wait, what is Torc getting hired for?
>>47390
Yo, thanks for the page.
Now a question for GM when he gets back about it. You said Mr. Snek counts as Torc's familier, and of course Snek is also an item cause snek steff. What would happen if the staff became a item familier?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47397
47399
Hey, can Etherealness be used to materialize ethereal objects? I assume it can, since Devourers use that ability to travel to the material plane.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47398
47399
>>47395
Tbh, idk about Snek. He seems to bend established norms in several places.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47399
47400 47401 47402
>>47302
"Oooh, crookneck squash, and brussel sprouts, and asparagus!"
That's the first post we're responding to?
>>47316
>two more
Yes. Only two. DEFINITELY not more.
>>47395
>item familiar
A what now?
>>47397
Yes. Objects get no saving throw.
>>47398
Oh cuz that's new for this thread,....
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47400
>>47399
>not new
Wasn't say that was new, I just don't know how to apply stuff to him.
Does that Item Familiar UA apply?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47401
47404
>>47399
>what now
I was reading Unearthed Arcana and saw a variant familiars page: >>47390

Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47402
47404
>>47399
See >>47390
>yes I'm aware the answer will probaly be no
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47403
>>47386
I contest this. It should be Football, the Denver Broncos, and Elway
>>47258
Please do, I've been melancholy for days wondering if Thez' grand conclusion was gonna be turned into an ethereal statue and lost to time.
>>47250
I know those feels all too well. I'm sorry about the circumstances, but I would be quite the liar if I said I wasn't overjoyed to see dozens of "Mrs. Sentry" as I scrolled the recent posts.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47404
47406 47408
>>47402
>>47401
I've only skimmed it, but desu that seems the optimal way to explain Snek as an item/familiar/npc/mobile pistol turret
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47406
47407 47408
>>47404
If he were made intelligent, he could transform into Snek at will.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47407
>>47406
Again, I've only skimmed, but conceptually that doesn't sound disagreeable
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47408
47409 47410 47412
Okay, I have the stupidest question that will be asked all night.
How much bludgeon damage would Snek do if he was swung at an opponient from above?
>>47404
Sold.
>>47406
Sold.
Also, could Snek wheear a singular ring on his tail?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47409
47410 47411
>>47408
Can Tracy wear a ring on her tail too?
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47410
47412 47416
>>47408
>>47409
>rings
I'll allow it. Rings don't have to be worn on the hand, though outside a (what's it) Magic Hand, one can still only use 2 at a time.
>bludgeon damage
Is he in Snek form?

Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47411
47415
>>47409
Pony tails don't work that way. Unless it's going on her dock. I can see that
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47412
47414 47415 47416
>>47408
>How much bludgeon damage
Snek is a +1 Quarterstaff, and wizards are proficient in staffs.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Python
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Quarterstaff
tl;dr enough to be considered a decent weapon, despite your weak-ass NEET arms.
>>47410
>what's it
You mean a Hand of Glory?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47413
47415
Hey, since Kang Doot is still kicking, does that mean the curse on his arms are still active? I want to use his arms to make Mummy Rot weapons.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47414
>>47412
That's a good thing, because he'll need it when he's trapped in a Dimetrium cage and about to be sold as a sex slave by Griffons
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47415
47417 47421
>>47412
That's the one.
>>47413
I know it was only a few days, but gawd I missed you. Yes, his arms are still heinous. One of them is missing (unless recovered), but he's still got one dangling from a small chunk of 'flesh'.
>>47411
That's what I had imagined
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47416
47417 47418
>>47412
>>47410
No no no, damage as a snek
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47417
47420
Some monsters, like Hecatoncheires, have abilities that make them immune to almost all weapons except those tempered with the blood of a deity: does that imply that god blood can be used as an ingredient to craft superior weapons?
>>47415
She definitely would've taken those arms.
>>47416
Improvised weapon. You'd do more damage with the dagger.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47418
47420 47426
>>47416
I'm confused. Are you wielding a Snek as a weapon, or are you asking his unarmed melee damage?

0dklY
?
No.47419
47422
[1d20+23 = 42]
Alright, this is probably a terrible idea, but fuck it

>>47393
Grabs tail of pony
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47420
47425
>>47417
But he's fucking huge
>>47418
>Snek as a weapon
That's exactly what I'm asking. If I somehow used snek as a club, how much damage would he do?
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47421
47423 47428
>>47415
Am i on the ethereal plane?
HAaXq
?
No.47422
47423 47435
[2d20 = 31]
>>47419
[yelps]
*involuntary, instinctive kick* (sorry)
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47423
47424
>>47422
reeeeee

>>47421
Just retrieve Thez, get out of there before you get soul sucked by part of the undead army waiting there, and get her where she can be de-stoned
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47424
>>47423
Thats the plan.
HAaXq
?
No.47425
47426 47429
>>47420
>he's fucking huge
YUGE weapons would be impossible for medium characters like Torc to wield.
\r
WbVf3
?
No.47426
47427 47430
[1d20 = 20]
>>47425
>>47418
*boops thez*
*casts break enchantment*
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47427
>>47426
Success.
*braces for hurricane*
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47428
>>47421
I didn't see the post where you actually declared his chosen action (nor the lead up where Infernius would have an idea where to even go), but sure. As long as the airship wasn't moved or anything, she should be right there, an oversized statue of a dwelf trying to correct their balance, floating in the middle of the Ethereal plane.
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47429
>>47425
I have a method
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47430
47432
>>47426
D'awww, the audience wants them reunited.
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47432
>>47430
Of course, everyone loves a lub story.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47433
47434
>>47431
Why do you not want Thez to come back?
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47434
47435
>>47433
Reeeeeeee this.