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fruit.jpg
Hearths Warming Fruit Cake
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36660
36664
With Nuts of course.

Happy Holidays to everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, Hearths Warming, or some other degenerate (Kwanza) or (((unspoken))) tradition, I hope you have a safe and 'as happy as possible' holiday season as you no doubt maneuver in and out of the world of normies and others!
I have no idea if any crucial gaming will occur weekend, but its about to get funky-fresh on several fronts. We last left Torcuil trying to navigate through Krenshal for someone skilled and crazy enough to build a Robo-ponk. Trumpaladin and Tracy were getting their things together to hunt a Unicorn with Elway's blessing and direction. Thez is being a little bit emo (its the hormones) while Infernius continues being a dutiful and upstanding guy.
What will happen next, and in what order? Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!
1262 replies and 143 files omitted.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36764
36765
>>36763
Do it
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36765
>>36764
this.
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36766
36767
606742__semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-aryanne_artist-colon-randy_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_big eyes_blood_face picture_female_implied violence_i.jpg
>>36760
>>36763
*jerks around, accidentally nicking herself on the edge of a new dagger as she whirls*
"I'm sorry, Flashy; I was busy and didn't hear you. What did you say just now?"
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36767
36768 36769
>>36766
"Do you want to kill Trollestia?"
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36768
36771 36772
>>36767
*cough*lies*cough*
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36769
36770
>>36767
"Yes." she says, flatly.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36770
36771
>>36769
"Then why are you playing arts and craft right now rather than killing her while you have the chance?"
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36771
36772 36773
>>36768
Nonsense. Paladins don't lie, and neither does Trump.
>>36770
"I can kill her any time I feel. Would you like to start now?"
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36772
36773 36774
>>36768
It was a question. There was no statement. It can't be a lie because it can't be true or false

>>36771
"Why are you putting it off?"
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36773
36774 36775 36777
>>36771
You asked what he said
>>36772
You replied with a statment that was not what you said, therefore lying
Plz no ban
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36774
36779
Btw, i mention in the last thread that she'd moved her birds to aniother room. She pushed the furniture out of one of the VIP suites and left them there; they're currently chowing down on a pile of ground elephant and scrambled yolks in the center of the room (they should be big enough to eat it themselves now).
>>36772
"I wanted to wait until you were ready."
>>36773
That's the joke.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36775
36776
>>36773
Well then I answered a different question. But it's really the same question, just approached a different way. The question is "if you want to kill this bitch, then why are you playing ninja with chains, or crafting macaroni images, or whatever you're doing, rather than killing her while we have the chance?"
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36776
36778
>>36775
She'd kill her even if the tower were full, so she doesn't actually see it as a chance.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36777
>>36773
Oh shut up. Tracy obviously doesn't mean she wants him to repeat what he said. She wants him to clarify his intentions. That's what he's doing
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36778
>>36776
Also, Tracy's faggot wants to get at least 1 feat per weak.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36779
36780
>>36774
"As I have said before I do not want to kill her. But waiting is making me anxious. Soon, or never. Make up your mind. I prefer the latter, but it is your choice"
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36780
36781 36784
>>36779
*taps wand against dagger*
"I'm ready, Flashy.
Just go to the stables and make your move. I'll be lurking."
Tracy rummages through her bag and pulls out the old Conceal Alignment scroll she got months ago at the shop
"That bitch alwats greeted me with that obnoxious smile every time I enter the stables before we put the dividers up; I'm going to take a minute to make sure she's caught off guard this time.
I'll make my move the moment after you do, Flashy, so be ready."
Remember he has the Shackles and the rope.
*gestures over to a prepared barrel of pure grain alcohol*
"Make sure that sword of yours is drunk off his saddle before you start."
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36781
36782
>>36780
This gonna be good.
Is GM kill for now?
4NBId
?
No.36782
36783
[1d20+17 = 18]
With that Tracy vanishes.
Rolling to Move Silently across the tower as she gets ready.
Also, Detect Good, to ensure the cunt is in the stables
>>36781
This is part of the reason why I was waiting. The forest should be burning down as we shitpost, but idk anymore...
4NBId
?
No.36783
36785
[1d20+17 = 30]
>>36782
>*trips and falls face flat, knocking over furniture as she goes*
"I.. I'm okay...!"
*Slinks off once again, deciding to wait a few minutes before she goes back towards the stables*
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36784
36786 36787
>>36780
"Very well. We'll do it tonight. Now think of a full strategy while I go take some measurements for Fae to fit her into new armor, and then get her set up in the holodeck to train for multi attack, while my faggot goes to see a movie."
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36785
>>36783
kek.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36786
36793
>>36784
What movie?

>Once again I can't do anything ingame without GM
Why this always happen to me?
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36787
36788 36793
>>36784
We can Train our animals for feats? Can Tracy train her birds?
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36788
36789
>>36787
Would that mean Torc could train.......

Why do I always forget Torc has a Snek? Maybe I should unbind him from the staff so I alway remember.
A big ass snake would be great for scaring some dwarves
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36789
36790 36791 36792
>>36788
You should make a Greater Magick Fang Potion, and an Enlarge Potion, and make them permanent on him.
>>36788
>unbind
Make the staff intelligent and animated, then give it the ingrained special purpose of "Protect Torc" and give it extraordinary powers for said purpose.
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36790
>>36789
>Greater Magick Fang Potion, and an Enlarge Potion, and make them permanent on him.
Actually, do those for Tracy and her birds too.
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36791
36795
7b3f3535d1e77cdfbf38695c9e39b7d000555d7d892e16c0d70af67bcfa802ca.jpg
>>36789

Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36792
36794
>>36789
>animated
You sudgestion has been noted and will be considered
>enlarge potion
Mr. Snek is already ~20ft long, and thats enough for me
>magic fang potion
>Rangers lvl1 can cast it as a spell
I want to dual class more now, but not a bad idea
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36793
36795 36796
>>36787
I'm accessorizing the hell out of my kitty, that I know.

>>36786
Coco. I've seen it before and I'm now dragging a friend to see it. I like how it has what seems to be an Aztec Dragonne in it
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36794
36817
>>36792
hey if trollestia could teach you about being a ranger i probably could to.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36795
36797
>>36793
Have fun.
>>36791
That post is actually the reason I hoped Tracy/Trump's child would be a cenataur

See you guys later, I gtg
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36796
>>36793
Doesn't it normally take an Epic Check in Handle Animal and at least one whole year to Train a Magical Beast for things?
How many ranks did you put into Handle Animal? Help train Tracy while you're at it, if you can.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36797
36798
>>36795
God dammit, I thought I wouldn't be so long
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36798
>>36797
That's alright.
>tfw need to cook for family soon
Tracy is snooping around the Tower in stealth, making sure Troll is in the stables before Trump goes there.
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36799
*keens edges*

Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36800
36801 36802
How many of y'all are going to be lurking tonight? I'm probably not going to play tomorrow, since it's the holidays.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36801
36803
>>36800
I'm back and lurking
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36802
>>36800
My friend is pissed off because Coco is an incredibly sad movie and it made him cry...

I may be able to play later. I want to either kill that unicorn or make her a Paladin's mount, but one of the two (or both?). I hope GM will be on long enough for that

*drives*
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36803
36804
>>36801
So Torcuil's teleportation would work, positioning him away from the cluster of gnomes manhandling him.

Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36804
36805 36806
>>36803
Good
He unpolymorphes and throws down his snek staff, bringing Mr. Snek into play.
"OkaylistennoworI'mleaving. Idon'twanttohurtyou. Ijustwishtobuyarobotmadebyyourpeopel'shandiwork. Ihavenotbeeninthislandlong,butIhavealreadyheardthatyourpeoplearemastercraftsmen. Ididnotwishtocauseproblemswithmydeception,butitseemedtheonlywaytogetintothecity. Iunderstandifyoudenymeservice,butIwishfornomorefighting."
Torc then doublesover, catching his breath from talking so quickly.
"Waddayousay?"
Mr. Snek: >hiss
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36805
36806 36807 36810
>>36804
The gnomes look at eachother speechless for a moment, before breaking into a small round of applause. An older one approaches. "Thatwasprettygoodyoungfella,youspeakhalfdecentgnomish(whichisn'tanindependantlanguageitsjustonethatsspokenreallyfast.Mostcommoners,thatsyoufolkwhospeakbasiccommon,nevergettheknackforitandalwaysenduptellingustotalkslowlywhichonlymakesthemmoremadwhenwedoforsomereason.Soyouwantaroboteh?Whatlevelofsophisticationarewetalkinghere?There'syourbasicgolemofwhatevermaterialsyougotortherearecompositeconstructslikeshieldguardiansandthelike."
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36806
36807 36808
>>36804
>>36805
>to gnomish didn't read.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36807
36811 36824
>>36805
Torc looks ready to shoot himself realizing that it wasn't the fact they ignored his pleas, its the fact they didn't like him speaking slow.
"OnesecondandI'llexplainwhatIwant."
Torc grabs Mr. Snek, and uses the staff like a walking stick.
"I'mlookingforarobotIcanuseasamounttoo. I'mthinkingmaybesteampoweredwithabrassconstructionandsomeotherspecificdetails."
>>36806
Icanactuallyreaditsuprisinglywell
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36808
36809
>>36806
Torcuil>"Make robot!"
Gnomes>"What kind?"
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36809
>>36808
He said he was looking for someone too make a robot, not asking the ones infront of him you idiot
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36810
>>36805
>Torc's autism was up to the task
Good for him.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36811
36815
>>36807
drawcab kaeps ohw elpoep eht litnu tiaw tsuJ
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36812
36813
Tracy confirms with her detection abilities that Troll is in fact in the stables.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36813
36814 36815 36816
>>36812
Yes, though she seems unusually wary today. Everything looks and smells normal.
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36814
36817
>>36813
"thez you sing me a song?"
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36815
36817
>>36811
tluciffid s'taht gniylpmi<
>>36813
uoy ot no s'ehs
4NBId
?
No.36816
36818
[1d20+5 = 23]
>>36813
*grabs bag in stables and leaves nonchalantly*
Sense Motive check to get a hunch if she's caught wind of something
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36817
36819 36820
>>36794
Not so much
>>36759
"RIght now? Uhm,... I don't know too many upbeat songs."
>>36814
^^
>>36815
Hye, smoe ehva a drah miet ithw ti. Yur'ou pbbrloay efni w/ arcsdelb oto he?
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36818
36821
>>36816
The way she's eyeballin', she definitely suspects Tracy of something.
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36819
36822
>>36817
"as long as it from the heart me will like it."
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36820
36822
>>36817
Ym tusami nskwo on miilst
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36821
36822 36834
Btw, can Tracy use the fluids she collected for Barry's corpse to make AIDS-coated daggers?
Also, I forgot, do you need to roll for Sneak Attacks when you're using poison?
>>36818
Tracy sticks her tongue out at Troll like she does every day, and leaves in a huff.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36822
36823 36824 36825
>>36820
)/ inec
>>36819
https://youtu.be/8FZ9dQcHbuA
Start at :55
>>36821
No, the poison is automatic upon doing damage, the fortitude save is to determine if the individual's immune response is effective or not.
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36823
36826 36831
>>36822
What's the fortitude save for AIDS? (yeah, I was serious)
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36824
36826
>>36822
We got off topic
Plz see >>36807

Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36825
36827
>>36822
*wipes away a tear*
"that song almost as beautiful as you ana."
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36826
36828 36840
>>36823
Barry doesn't have AIDS, he has spastic colon.
>>36824
The older one crosses his arms, placing one hand at his chin."Thatservesasamount?That'sgoingtorequiresomesophisticatedbio-sumlatoryengineering.Againthequestionarises,howspphisticatedarewetalking?"
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36827
36845 36846
>>36825
"I thought you'd like that one. Its one of the few I know thats in German. And what has you in such a sentimental mood today?"
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36828
36829
>>36826
>spastic colon
Is that contagious?
I'm trying to buff my biological arsenal.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36829
>>36828
No, its not, its just very painful.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36830
36833
Trumpaladin's faggot arrives at a bar after like 30 minutes of driving, and is ready for his character to finally kill, fuck or marry this damned unicorn
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36831
36832
>>36823
Just use Tracy's blood if you want to kill enemies with syphilis or super AIDS
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36832
36833
>>36831
I already said she's resistant to STDs. And she needs to keep her body healthy, because those diseases fuck-up fetuses.
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36833
36835
>>36830
Don't neglect the scene on our behalf but,... yeah I do get a kick out of the idea of you reaching through your phone to take swings at a unicorn
>>36832
The ones Tracy knows of,....
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36834
36838
>>36821
>"where are you little pony? You know only a magical weapon can harm her. Is the cane sword enchanted in that way? Use its gust power if she charges you later or if she uses obscuring mists. Do you want to borrow Suigoto? She has +3 enchantment"
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36835
36836 36838
>>36833
How many doors that will let a horse through are there at the stable? Can we lock it? Where can locks be obtained?
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36836
36837 36838
>>36835
There's not really doors. Rooms are connected by open archways or corridors that connect areas.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36837
>>36836
You're shitting me. There is nothing we can close?
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36838
36839 36841 36842
>>36834
>'I'm near the stables. Go for it; I'll be there.'
Your character has Magic Weapon as a 1st level spell, and so does Tracy. Damage Reduction isn't an issue.
And yes. Her sword is magical, as are three of her daggers.
>>36835
Just do the deed as soon as you get the chance. She'll get suspicious if you try to lock the door. She's a
>>36836
Is there a corner she can hide around?

Tracy is crouching ~60-ft away from the stables, trying to figure out how many rounds her conceal Alignment scroll lasts, keeping an eye on the stables as she does.
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36839
>>36838
She moves around a corner before she does that.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36840
36843
Pinkie_Pie_ID_S4E11.png
>>36826
"WellIwantittohaveapersonality,forstarters. Designwise... onemoment."
Torc picks up his tome and rips out an empty page. He sketches pic related but in greyscale.
"ThisistheroughshapeIwouldlike. Proballyabout4feettallorso. Maybeasmall3inchcannonthatfoldoutifpossible."
Torc takes another moment to catch his breath
"Isitpossible?"
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36841
36844
>>36838
>do the deed
She's a freaking demigod. Not a regular horse. It would take Trump almost four full rounds to kill her if almost ever attack landed
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36842
36844
>>36838
>"are you sure you don't want to set chains across the entrance? Or set up stakes? Anything to keep her from running away?"
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36843
36848
>>36840
He lifts his glasses from his eyes and wipes his face. "Idon'tknowifyourealizethisbutgivingconstructsanidentityisn'tsomethingyoujust"do",thatrequiresingenuityandcreativitythatdoesn'tjustspringoutofnowhere,andifitwaspossibleyouwouldhavetobeafull-timeparticipantinitsconstruction.Imean,howimportantisthisthingtoyou?You'reessentiallydescribingaconstructartifact,entirelycustomandunique."
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36844
36847
>>36841
Try the shackles then the rope, or at least get a blow on her.
>demigod
Like I give a shit. That only means moar XP
She's just a 13th level encounter. Her facing Trumpaladin and Tracy together is hardly a battle: it's a murder. The most Tracy has to worry about is getting hit by one of those Good Domain spells.
>>36842
>'She won't fall for that crap. She's already on to me. Do your thing, and don't choke.'
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36845
36849 36851
>>36827
A non-descript citizen walks up and whispers in Thez' ear.
"Uhm,... there's something I need to take care of." <whoooof>
The citizen bows briefly, then departs.
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36846
>>36827
"me get sad around winter time, me never had family to celebrate with."
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36847
36854
>>36844
She has a +22 melee attack and also smite evil. She can kill Tracy in three rounds. But more importantly she can run away. The rope is weak. It could be destroyed by her. The shackles require a successful grapple, and she's bigger than him, she'd win a grapple check.
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36848
36852
>>36843
"Anartifact?"
Torc seems a bit shocked by this statement. Torc reflects a minute on if he really wants this. He considers what it would mean.
"Pleasegivemejustaminute,ifyoudon'tmind."
Fuck, now you have me questioning this.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36849
36850
>>36845
Trumpaladin places the rope and shackles in his tie, and then enters the stables.

He has a sorrowful expression as he approaches Trollestia. He positions himself between the entryway and her
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36850
>>36849
Boi he bout to fucking do it
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36851
36853
>>36845
*goes back to the tower.*
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36852
36859
>>36848
"Wellwhadyaexpect?Notonlyareyoutalkingaboutmakingaconstruct,butwithpropertiesofanintelligentitem.Andacannon."
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36853
36855 36856 36857 36858
>>36851
As Infernius enters, Thez whispers from an unknown location, "Act natural"
4NBId
?
No.36854
[1d20+17 = 36]
>>36847
Don't be a bitch.
Tracy has him to heal her anyway.
>she can run away
Then they'll follow her.
>shackles require a grapple check
>bigger than him
What about that night he used them on Tracy?

Either way, just do what you think is best; just do it
If you don't think the bindings will work, just go for a full attack and hope you land a 20, then they'll hunt her down.

Tracy is hidden around the corner, and now activates her True strike and Conceal alignment scrolls.
Rolling to Move Silently around the corner.
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36855
36856 36857
>>36853
"um okay."
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36856
>>36853
>>36855
Reeeeeeeeeee
Anonymous
UvqCJ
?
No.36857
36860
>>36853
>>36855
"why? whats wrong?"
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36858
36861
>>36853
And he says to her "hello Troll..."
Anonymous
TE1uM
?
No.36859
36860
>>36852
"No,Iexpectedittotaketime,Ijustwasn'texpectingittobeafuckingartifact. Wecanscratchthecannontoo."
Torc then remembers how much of a fith wheel he can feel like
"Yeah,IthinkIcanstickaroundtohelp.DowehaveanestimatedtimesoIcanletmyfriendsknowhowlongI'llbegone."
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36860
36864 36865
>>36857
"Trouble, maybe, I'm not sure myself."
This from around a different corner.
>>36859
"Itwilltakemetimejusttocomeupwithanestimatefortimetobehonest,andI'mstillnotsurethatitcanbedone.TaketheGMforexample,IreallydoubthecanRPPonkeffectively,evenifitsaroboticversion."
Anonymous
XvSkz
?
No.36861
36863
>>36858
"Greetings, paladin Trump. What business?"
Mrs. Sentry
4NBId
?
No.36862
36867
Detect Good one more time, to make sure Troll isn't using a Decoy of some sort.
Anonymous
7s1gk
?
No.36863
36866
>>36861
Is left entirely stupefied before her, staring
"........"