With Nuts of course.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, Hearths Warming, or some other degenerate (Kwanza) or (((unspoken))) tradition, I hope you have a safe and 'as happy as possible' holiday season as you no doubt maneuver in and out of the world of normies and others!
I have no idea if any crucial gaming will occur weekend, but its about to get funky-fresh on several fronts. We last left Torcuil trying to navigate through Krenshal for someone skilled and crazy enough to build a Robo-ponk. Trumpaladin and Tracy were getting their things together to hunt a Unicorn with Elway's blessing and direction. Thez is being a little bit emo (its the hormones) while Infernius continues being a dutiful and upstanding guy.
What will happen next, and in what order? Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!
1262 replies and 123 files omitted.
Claiming Songbird as waifu
>>36660>Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!I said it when Torc fucked death, and I'll say it again
Fuck
Your
Planning
>>36664Its not really plans anymore, its more ideas of why its happening this way. What happens from there is anyone's guess.
>>36667Fucking turn back on gets
>>36665Fine,
Fuck your math
>>36667>>36668And that is why I went for the pali Xp
>>36670So I alluded to it in OP but yes, finding "the right gnome(s)" isn't going to be easy, and gnomes are difficult to interact with
and roleplay as it is. I'm telling you this as a meta explanation of why Torcuil hasn't been successful yet. There are all kinds of workshops, and that's just the ground level. The city walls actually lead to the edge of a cliff, where in segmented and burrowed-into-the-cliff-face levels a sprawling and often disorderly oasis of autistic creativity has been made. Tools and gadgets whirl and move of their own accord, pidgeons fly everywhere this way and that, all of whom carry a tiny scroll or pouch, its all the romanticism and innovation of the renaissance writ large, except with a hint of gnomish tactless-ness. Welcome to Krenshal.
>>36671That'd be one hell of a script to get all palis desu
>>36672>disorderly oasis of autistic creativityI fucking like it. Also, I know nothing of gnomes so I guess its research time.
Torc's is amazed by the intrestingness of it all, and then begins to look for a town map or something of the likes.
>>36674There is an empty booth with a blood splotch on one side that says "Information", but there's no one seated there at the moment. Other than that, there don't seem to be any distinguishably evident areas. There's a mess of hallways and doors, but gnomes are quick and efficient on their feet and leave no room for an obviously out-of-place fellow to slip in amidst the bustle.
>>36675"Well that's just great"
Welp, my best idea is for Torc to polynorph into a gnome and slip in.
Objections?
>>36676That's completely unnecessary.... And bizarrely creative. DO IT
>>36677Well what would you do Mr. Highandmightypaladin?
INB4 he requests a banhammer as a new weapon>>36678Morning!
>>36676No, you can try that. Don't fall in.
>>36680>fall inWhat did he mean by this?
I guess Torc's doing it then
>>36676oh that's a beautiful idea. I had thought that if I quit the game and Trumpaladin showed up in s future version as a Blackguard Villian, he'd have an obnoxious Warhammer as a weapon that he could point at any player and freeze their actions for d8 rounds or something like thatWell, I would talk to the gnomes, figure out what they want and like and don't like, then ask for the information I want, then use my knowledge of the gnome's motivations to arrange a deal that gets me what I want.
But your "have sex with the gnomes" idea seems more entertaining to watch. Try it
>>36682>sexI promise you thats not what I'm planning.
Plus, its easier to get information when you don't look like a complete and total outsider.
Plus I need someone who can do what I'm looking for before I start making deals.
>>36683What if they're really pretty gnomes?
>>36683What if GM says "fuck your plans" and you get >raped again?
>>36683Behind the first of the otherwise "gnomes only" doors, Torcuil finds the beginnings of a long hallway, with gears, sprockets, and shafts lining the halls and intersections. It appears that a certain degree of power is transmitted throughout the city by way of mechanical devices.
>>36688You mean the whorehouse? Where people beat eachother senseless and then have fivilous and copious amounts of contractual sex (hetero only)? Yes, there is such a place. You can decorate it with divegrass iconography if you like.
>>36689>dive grass imageryNOW it's getting burned down
>>36686Are there signs?
>>36684No
>>36685I'll play a reverse card and fuck the plans
>>36689I wanted to go there for a long time , but then she got pregnant and I thought getting beat-up might be bad..I have her check it out sometime.
>tfw Thez being there for an extended period literally makes the site Unholy>>36690I
dare you to try to burn down Thez's hive.
>>36692If it must be done to purge the evil, so be it
>>36692>imageThat's getting into "nuke it from orbit" territory
>>36692It could happen, it would require the right timing.
>makes unholyThat was when she was diabolical, its not a given anymore
>>36695She established/conquered/etc it while she was diabolical, right?
Also, does the tower have a machine that can produce masterwork daggers and/or lances? I want to make some more.
>>36696How does a poner throw a lance?
>>36696A lance-head is a fancy dagger, so yes to both. The Lance-head machine uses denze metal stamped in an octagonal shape with a hexagonal spear-point, barbed on one side.
There's a bunch of dagger machines. Which one?
>>36699I'm a retard and got lance and javelin confused, carry on.
>>36697With the animated demon-gauntlets.
The magick Hoers-shoes allow both her
and her rider to make Spirited Charge attacks, so she can do Triple Damage with a single strike from a lance while she's charging.
>>36698>A lance-head is a fancy dagger, so yes to bothCan she use her daggers as lance heads? That way, it could be adjustable.
>Which one?ALL of them!
I g2g for a bit..
>>36701All u need to do in that event is strap a dagger to a pole. I can hold lots of poles and sticks in that bag Thez gave Tracy.
>>36700Lance or javelin, there's a technique for it
>>36702What's the optimal material for making the poles out of?
>There's a bunch of dagger machines.Is there a dagger machine that can make magical daggers?
>>36703Indeed.
>>36702GM, you said something about enchantments on Armor? What can I get for a Fae sized chain shirt?
GM, did Torc see any signs?
>>36704Masterwork only.
>>36705There are a number of canon and non-canon options. What are your interests? Speed? Strength?
>>36706Oh no. I mentioned don't fall in, but I forgot to mention don't get lost.
Torc ducks into a workshop to catch his breath and find his bearings.
This is gonna get really shitty real quick, isn't it?
>>36707Eeek! I didn't realize there were so many options. Um, both strength and speed sound amazing. What is there Strengthwise? Or speed wise? Or AC wise?\r
>>36709A grumpy gnome extends their hands expectantly. "Whda'dyoubringme,Ihaven'tgotalldayyourandomnewbiewhogottheirpositionbecauseof,..." she has the presence of mind to stop at this point.
>>36710That depends on the effect. I know the classic "paladin"route is a big shiny suit of plates, but thats low energy bullshit. Piece-mail is where its at. You can have a spaulder + murder, a chest-plate of eating faces, a girdle (giant strength or w/e),Bracers of salted earth,... My point is, if you are creative enough you can have whatever array you want. You just have to decide on it and be willing to wait the requisite time.
>>36711>sheI swear, you guys all hate me.
Torc jumps back a bit, starteed by the gattling gun of words infront of him.
"Hold up, slow down. I'm not from around here, so stop with the requesting. Second, who are you?"
>>36711All on Fae?
I've recently become enamoured by the way Templar knights are depicted. In most images they are completely covered in armor, and you can often see that they are wearing chain mail suits underneath plate armor... Just like Trumpaladin. It's just a beautiful way of saying "good luck hitting me under 30+ AC."
I'm less of a fan of the way Templar horses are depicted. They have white cloth on them that makes them look like Ku Klux Klan horses. Now, now, the really sexy horse armor that I like is the Cataphract armor of the Byzantines, Sassanids, and Armenians. THAT is how you armor a horse.
Unfortunately I don't think I'll be Cataphract-ing Fae, since there is a mobility penalty for anything heavier than light armor. Chain shirt is the heaviest in that catagory, although I like the aesthetics of my little pony partial plate better. The coolest enchantments are etherealness and dimension door. I absolutely intend to try to get a belt of strength for her at some time, since I want her strength up.
I can wait for all of that. But in the meantime, a +4 AC chain shirt is desired
>>36713Did you get all those pics from Australia?
>>36713Fuck you opera browser. Here's the pics of sexy Byzantine horse armor
[4d20 = 31]>>36712"Whatthefuck?Whoareyou?You'renotsupposedtobebackhereGUARDS!Ohyou'reinforitnowwhoeveryouare."
A quartet of exceptionally well-armored gnomes rush you with words and force.
>>36717Fuck, lets see.
Torc stops the polymorph and tries to reason with them
"Listen, I'm not here to cause harm. I'm here to make a very large purpose, and I'm willing to pay lots for it."
Upon successful grapple from the group, who immediately bombard him with a deluge of "Lookathisguyhere""Thisguyhere?"YouKNOWit!""Yeahthisguyhere""Whataboutthisguyhere?""Hethoughthewasgoingtosneakhiswayinasagnome,probablyusingapolymorphspell""apolymorphspellyousay?""indeed,itcertainly,..."he trails off, for a gnome that is, before snffing Torcuil in the armpit area. "Newlygnomish,hedisplaycharacteristicsofagnomebutonewhoknowsnoknoledgeofhygeneorpersonalcareandiscertaintodevelopirritatedfingersydromeovertimewhichissomethingANYgnomewouldbebletovoid.NoImcallingitnowthisgnomeisaFRAUD!"
>>36721"Oh fuck everyone last one of you all, I'M HERE FOR BUISNESS!"
>>36722Why you so rude all the time? You'll get further if you are polite and civil
[4d20 = 26]>>36722They stop for a moment. Then they begin to laugh amongst themselves.
"Heyguyswhenwasthelasttimeosmeonewashereforsomereasonoranother""Hastherebeenatimewheresomeonewasnt'thereonsuperimportantbusiness?""NotthatIcanrecall.Isayweturnhimupside-downandshakeouthispockets.""Thatseemsthebestapproach.Onthreethen?" and then in unison "Onetwothree,HO"
[1d20 = 9]>>36726"Okay you little shits."
Torc teleports out of their grasp
Roll to try and do it before they shake him down.
"Listen, I don't want to harm you. I just want to buy something."
>>36727try speaking there language.
>>36727>that rollI resign to my shitty fate
>>36728Okay, here we go
"Okayyoulittleturds,listenhereandlistencloselycauseI'monlygonnasayitonce. Iamheretobuyafuckingrobot,IamwillingtoohelpyourtownandprovidealargefuckingpaymentinreturnIFYOUWOULDJUSTLETMETALKTOOYOU."
>>36731Now that's more like it!
Where are you getting money from though?
>>36732Torc can basically use anytype of seell and do anything if I can't find a meme for it, money can grow on a fucking tree for all he cares
>>36733I fucking swear autocorrect is messing with me, but it isn't fucking on
>>36733Just offer them your body. It's what you have with you anyways
>>36707>>36711>Armor/barding optionsCan Tracy develop an uber-slick, jet-black studded-leather, spiked motorcycle suit, that fits to her form?
I want something light-wight and mobile, that blends into the night and allows her easy breathing to do all of her tricks. Black would also bring out her mane. If combining leather with metal is an option, I'd adore that, because that's how you make a real suit of ghost-pony armor.
>>36731Torcuil makes this outburst while upside down.
"Isayweshake'emdownfirstwhaddyasay?""Standardoperatingproceedurethen?""Soundslikeaplan".
The gnomes start shaking him vigorously, spilling out whatever not-tightly secured equipment, contents, or available property.
>>36740Also, pockets for pulling things out quickly would be nice too; would also be good for concealing things.
>>36741they better thank their gnome god infernuis didn't go.
>>36741"Well since that didn't work,
I guess I'll have to be big enough.
For both of us."
Pic related appears and releases a sonic screech,
hopefully stunning them
>>36740I thought that was what you have right now?
If you conceal a dagger with a Sleight of Hand check while in front of someone, can you make a Sneak Attack with it while observed?
>>36742Just ask Torcuil or Trumpaladin or someone who already has those things
>>36748>who already has those thingsIt's not much help if someone else is wearing it.
>>36746>>36747I could have sworn that is 100% what you have now. You can pull out weapons with the quick draw feat. It's my favorite feat
>>36749I mean ask to have theirs
>>36750Thats cuz the quiver Thez gave. The suit is still in the works
>>36744Gnomes are stunned. Not enough to drop or release Torcuil, but enough to stop them with carting him off for the moment.
>>36755Torc tries to teleport out of their grasp, probaly ~20 feet away
Tracy is in the force, working on her repeating bow-gauntlet.
She also make as Screaming Bolt.
After that, she feeds her birds, and goes up to the holodeck to practice finessing her chain and getting a handle of it's abilities.
>>36755"Ana will you sing me a song?"
>>36757"I know you don't want to kill her either... She'd make a great consort. I mean cohort."
>>36760He didn't actually say that in front of her, did he?
>>36761I hope he did, should be entertaining a shit to see how it plays out
>>36761I was going to say yes, he says that to her, but the way you ask that question implies that he really shouldn't say that