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adventuring_is_magic_by_ambris-d96lo1k.png
Roasted Mixed Nuts
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15309
15312 15313 15314
Previous bread got moldy fast. After killing Korak and his pirates and thus gaining a Galleon-class ship, the party settles in to a relatively peaceful afternoon/evening which is certain to be entirely uneventful.
Except for Godzilla over in the stadium.
Welcome back to the Game. New players, lurkers, or w/e are welcome to non-disruptively comment or inquire. Right now the party is divvying up the swag from Korak,....
1174 replies and 134 files omitted.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15815
15817
1335324.png
>>15813
Magic boots to NPC ally
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15816
>>15813
You forgot Nicholas Cages's greatest weakness

As a free action, call,
THE BEES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVCrmXW6-Pk
jX/y2
?
No.15817
15818 15819
[2d20 = 16]
>>15815
>implying you have allies
First, intimidate check on any suicidal faggot who dare to interfere
Then, improved Bull Rush to push him against the wall and kiss forcefully
Mrs. Sentry
jX/y2
?
No.15818
>>15817
Awww shart...!
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15819
15820
>>15817
And, she trips over herself

Trumpaladin goes home, realizing why he didn't want to marry her in the first place
Mrs. Sentry
jX/y2
?
No.15820
>>15819
>implying you can escape
Track him home, lurking.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15821
15823 15828
"That's not how you woo a man, Tracy"
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15822
15823
>>15814
Combat ERP is that ga- oh who am I fucking kidding...
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15823
15825
I'm SO glad I decided Kefka fell asleep for all this.
>>15822
Yes, no
>>15821
>rape (just a suggestion)

Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15824
15828
>>15810
"I am really disappointed in you Tracy. And your faggot too"
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15825
15827 15828
>>15823
Can we have one horse, just one, who isn't psycho?
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15827
>>15825
Mayb...
>>15826
And there you just killed it.
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15828
15829 15830
1508872911511.png
>>15821
>we'd be over by now if you'd just grabbed her by the pussy earlier
[confused hoers noises emanate from every direction as you walk home]
>>15824
How would you play a >rape-proned character?
>>15825
NO!!!
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15829
>>15828
>NO
This, the non-psycho hoerses are the domestic ones.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15830
15831 15832
>>15828
Is she amenable to being violently raped herself?
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15831
15833
>>15830
O.O I'm not sure you're up to the level of >rape that could subdue Tracy,... I'll leave that to her faggot
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15832
15833
>>15830
You have to be REALLY violent, desu, but that wouldn't be very Paladin-like and it could hurt the baby...
Better to go to bed and wait until she inevitably teleports into your room, and then just endure.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15833
15834
>>15831
I feel like she'd say "you just ruined it by asking first. How the fuck is it rape if you ask first"

>>15832
Don't worry, I won't target the womb area when I beat the ever living fuck out of you, and then fuck it back in
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15834
15835 15837
>>15833
Where is your character?
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15835
15840
>>15834
Probably going back home
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15836
15838 15839
>Its fine
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15837
15840
>>15834
If yours ran full charge at a wall, and then rolled a 1, she's probably in a hospital
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15838
1283725__safe_artist-colon-henyoki_oc_oc-colon-brownie bun_oc only_eye reflection_faic_fire_property damage_solo_this is fine_uncanny valley.png
>>15836
pic
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15839
15842
>>15836
>MEANWHILE AT THE JEWler SHOP
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15840
15841
>>15837
She could just phase through the wall.
>>15835
In bed?
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15841
15843
>>15840
Not if she were intending to plant a kiss. She rolled a 1

>>15840
Sitting and thinking about how disappointed he is in Tracy. It's like she wants to stay single forever.
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15842
15848
>>15839
"Hey there and welcome to NOT what is going on elsewhere in thread! Can I interest you in blah de blah blah, just to further divert attention from blah blah. Can I interest you in blah? If not we have a lovely selection of blah. Please peruse the blah to your heart's content. Blah blah, praise Football"
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15843
15844
>>15841
Bull Rush is a maneuver to push a target 5 feet; that means she would've had 5 feet to save herself.
>>15841
If your character isn't about to go to bed, I'm going to do other things.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15844
15845 15847
>>15843
I'm guessing none of those things involve being an attractive potential waifu
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15845
15847
>>15844
It matters what your kink is.
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15846
Gosh... Chikun was kind of right...
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15847
15849 15850
>>15844
"I'm disappointed in you Tracy"

>>15845
Unless you want to get punched repeatedly, chocked by your dog collar, and maybe strung up by it, well, I'm not sure I have anything to offer you
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15848
15854
>>15842
infernuis wish to comminsion a piece.
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15849
15852
>>15847
And if she does?
sorry, too easy
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15850
15851 15852
>>15847
Unf.
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15851
15855
>>15850
The amulet will ensure that her fetus gets all the oxygen it needs.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15852
15853
>>15849
>>15850
I can also try to drown her I guess
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15853
15858
>>15852
>amulet works under water
Unf.
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15854
15856
>>15848
"I'll be happy to oblige. What did you have in mind? Are we talking a piece to be enchanted, or perhaps some bling for style and aesthetics?"
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15855
15858
>>15851
I'm sorry, but if you want a realistic experience, you're going to have to take it off. Where is the thrill otherwise? Don't worry, the child can go longer without blood than you can
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15856
15857 15861
Milllion_Dollar_Championship.jpg
>>15854
"me actually bring drawing with me here you go"
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15857
>>15856
but instead of dollar signs they are swastikas
jX/y2
?
No.15858
15859 15860
[1d20 = 3]
>>15853
Also, endurance feat (extra check on constitution while holding breath)
>>15855
>the child can go longer without blood than you can
This isn't even close to true.
"You'll have to grab me first, ~Flashy."
*grapples*
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15859
>>15858
Why do all my >rape attempts keep failing?
Your turn.
tAR7W
?
No.15860
15863 15864
[1d20 = 11]
>>15858
*sighs*
Grapples, and shackles
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15861
15866
>>15856
"Hmmmm, a diamond-encrusted bracelet,... or garter,... or wherever one decides to put it... on the body. Well, mounting the stones will take some time (there's >100), but its not outside my skillset. Is this a rush order, or are you flexible for time?"
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15862
15864
"Um... Are you sure you want to do this?"
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15863
>>15860
Oh! OH! Thats gonna sting. I know, you MAY know, but that was NOT inconsequential. Carry on. ^_^
jX/y2
?
No.15864
15865 15869
[1d20 = 12]
>>15860
You have no shackles!
momentarily phases out of your grasp and grapples again
>>15862
"Show me what you're made of, ~Flashy."
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15865
15867
>>15864
>phases
Um no
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15866
>>15861
its a belt, me have time also why is big lizard in the football field?
jX/y2
?
No.15867
15868
[1d20 = 2]
>>15865
She can't do that?

Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15868
15870
>>15867
anti magic shackles
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15869
>>15864
Hold on, I'm filling up a pale of water
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15870
15871 15872 15874 15875
>>15868
Those are in the vest, which is in the bag, he'd have to roll a 50+ Sleight of Hand check to pull them out.
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15871
>>15870
there were 2 sets
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15872
15876
>>15870
>Implying I didn't start the grapple holding them
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15873
15876
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Dimensional_Shackles
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15874
15877
>>15870
>Refering to the D&D rules set every single turn to try to do BDSM Erotic Roleplay
I'm not that autistic, and I am not playing that game
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15875
15878
>>15870
They must have slipped out
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15876
15877 15879
>>15872
You don't even have the Skill to pull them out of the bag, even I can't make a pickpocketing check like that.
>>15873
I know what they do.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15877
>>15876
>Talking about skills bullshit
Please see >>15874

Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15878
15880
>>15875
Well someone is getting >raped tonight...
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15879
>>15876
I hope you excuse my cheek when I say,... for the third time Shhh, don't fight it
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15880
15881 15883 15884
>>15878
Yeah, Tourcil. I can act out murdering you though if you like
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15881
>>15880
humans strange.
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15882
15885
Which legs did he apply the shackles to?
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15883
15885
>>15880
>Torcuil
Wut?
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15884
>>15880
Torc is in the process of being >raped.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15885
15886 15887
>>15883
He was raped

>>15882
Which ever disable you and leave you unable to attack
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15886
15887 15889
>>15885
>four legs
Pick a pair, because the rodeo is starting now.
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15887
15891
>>15885
>unable to attack
That was never part of the 'bargain', those just eliminate teleport/phase/w/e shenanigens
>>15886
Lets assume the forelegs.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15889
15890 15902
>>15886
Nah, I think I'll just leave you shackled and tied up, probably hanging from the ceiling by your dog collar, as I go to sleep because I have class at 8AM tomorrow
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15890
15892 15893 15894 15902
>>15889
How do you rig a 1.5 ton animal to the ceiling?
>no Use Rope Skill
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15891
>>15887
Hmmm... Nah. I don't like these terms. Chain the bitch up and hang her from the ceiling. I'd like to waterboard her, but I am tired and value sleep more
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15892
15895
>>15890
>Still thinks his D&D bullshit will help him
Tie rear legs next and now she's disabled
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15893
>>15890
I'll just tighten the collar to where she is constantly strangled. Swipe her Bowler hat and her amulet in the process
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15894
>>15890
Ooh. I'll take your bracelets as well. I like those
jX/y2
?
No.15895
15896 15902
[3d20 = 48]
roll to pick locks this round
>>15892
>attack of opportunity
*buck with both hooves*
tAR7W
?
No.15896
15898
Flash_Sentry_ID_S4E11.png
[3d20 = 29]
>>15895
Bees
Quick draw Vanderiem

Slash, Slash, Slash at your hooves with Vanderiem
Fuck You
Mod
tAR7W
?
No.15897
Really.gif
Why am I dignifying this? Go to sleep

I'm going to sleep
Anonymous
jX/y2
?
No.15898
15899 15901
>>15896
>Ouch
Which hooves?
>*picked lock*
*phase through the ground*
Take regen potion once reaching floor beneath

USER WAS SHACKLED FOR THIS POST
Fuck You
Mod
tAR7W
?
No.15899
15900 15901
>>15898
Yeah no. I'm going to sleep. You are tied up and shackled because you fucked with a guy stronger than you, took risks, and they didn't work
Anonymous
dlV40
?
No.15900
15901
>>15899
lol
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15901
15902
>>15900
>>15898
>>15899
"Engagement's over Tracy"
C2K+p
?
No.15902
15906 15907 15908
[5d8 = 2010]
Sigh. Are we going there? Are we REALLY going there? Okkay, but just note that this was not my idea.
>>15889
It will take a few rounds to accomplish this since it wasn't arranged in advance.
>>15895
Tracy's pick lock skill can't be over 18, so those 18s don't make it (DC 40)
>>15890
I'm wondering that too
>>15901
Out of nowhere, a purplish hand clutches Trump's.
"What did I say?"
"JYUKEN"
not sure the dice will work, but its 5d8x10
Steam and magic roiling off her, she admonishes. "You fucks! I leave you alone for,... how long has it been? I don't even know how long its been. I leave you fucks alone and this is the sort of shit you get up to! For FUCK'S sake! I though I was gonna jump in to fight the Terrasque with you guys, but NOOOOOO. I gotta jump in to keep you from tearing your fucking eyes out! OOoooh. I give you credit for surviving this far, and doubly for killing Korak (I was hoping for the opportunity) but this,... this is beyond the pale."
Thez is back by the way, and not to pleased about it.
Shall we adjourn?
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15903
15904
The dice didn't work the way I wanted, but Trump is knocked the fuck out
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15904
15905
>>15903
I was going to reply to Thez, but okay
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15905
15908
>>15904
You're welcome to,... except Trump is KTFO
Drunk, stupid nerd
qP4DI
?
No.15906
>>15902
...Sorry...
Anonymous
96Ajs
?
No.15907
>>15902
oh she goes to trump first huh? i see.
[jealous minotuar noises]
tAR7W
?
No.15908
15909
>>15902
>>15905
"I hope you don't think I wanted it to be this way. Nor do I think it had to be this way. But here we are"
\r
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15909
15911
>>15908
>pokes Trump with the stick so he's awake.
"Oh really? It didn't have to be this way but just is? "Take off the necklace, it'll be fine!" How long HAVE you been planning this? Since my faggot allowed you those shackles? BEFORE perhaps? OOOOOOHHH!"
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15910
15911 15912
"YOU'RE not off the hook either!" um, she's pointing at me,....
I'd uh, tell you about her appearance and such
"SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT!"
"Fucking ROCKWELL you lot! For a day now you've sat and dramatized, while an incredibly large wrecking-ball of a monster sat in your Football stadium! "Oh nevermind that, we're going to go on a date"! I want to tear your guts out!"
Should I mention she's
"I SAID"
K
"Its a DAMN fine thing that Kefka is bored, tired, and asleep, and HOPEFULLY no one gets wind that I ceased the travel-ban cuz otherwise Heaven, Hell, and all things in between can and will rain down on this world and these people. I HOPE your little drama was worth it!"
She finds Infernius.
"YOU. ME. WUBS. NAO"
...
...and with that,... lets conclude the session.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15911
15917
>>15909
>>15910
"You know damn well it's not the shackles or the neckless

I treat her on a date, it's going well so far, but when I ask her to tell me about herself - because she's been reticent to open up in any way - what does she do? She transforms into a goddamn monster to try to rape me. She charges at me to try to pin me on the wall, but misses and hits the wall instead and hurts herself. Date is over, I go home after trying to calm down the other patrons in MY restaurant. Oh did I mention? She specifically tried to intimidate all of the other guests in the restaurant. But I am home and I tell her I am very disappointed, and what does she do? She comes into my room and tries to grapple me to do the same damned thing as before. She fails - again - and I grapple her and shackle her, having had about enough of this. And THEN what does she do? She fucking kicks me with both hooves and tries to get free so she can planar jaunt bullshit to attack me. No. Just no.

Tell me. Would you date that? Would you marry that? No. You'd send that to prison. Which is exactly what I did. It cannot work between us.
tracy asked repeatedly about the monster and you said don't worry about it
Drunk, Stupid Nerd
6PwDP
?
No.15912
15913 15914
>>15910
Ok...
Anonymous
C2K+p
?
No.15913
15915
>>15912
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?!
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15914
>>15912
you're unbanned
Drunk, Stupid Nerd
6PwDP
?
No.15915
15916 15919
>>15913
Tracy's faggot: I got b8, because salt.
Anonymous
tAR7W
?
No.15916
15917
>>15915
>salt
Because I'm not putting up with your autism while I have class in less than 8 hours