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Kicked Nuts
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.26914
Its meta AF atm, but the last thread is sooooo stale. The Game surprisingly continues! Infernius is borderline suicidal with a stalker, Trump and Tracy finally got engaged, Torcuil is in hiding, Norfilly is eating candy, Taylor is getting praise and adoration, Alex is a statue, Yak Lee is the surprise contender in the Fight Club,... yeah so stuff.

849 replies and 53 files omitted.
Anonymous
AYxkj
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No.27149
27150 27151
xHT8l9I.jpg
>>27148
why do get to meta game when i cant?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27150
>>27149
*you
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27151
>>27149
If I'm meta-gaming then that's a bad thing
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27152
*calms tits*
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27153
27154 27155
>>27146
>I don't really know what items to craft…
I've been drooling over all the shit mudponies can't craft/use for a while now, so here is a few things your character can make on his own. Trumpaladin casts Divine Spells, and Paladins have the Craft skill for a reason. You don't need a new sword/armor, but there's other shit that you could use:
In four days, you could craft some gauntlets of Ogre Power:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Gauntlets_of_Ogre_Power
(I wish I could use some)
You could also craft a Cloak of Charisma, in the same amount of time, like the one Tracy's working on. I can be increased in power over time. The same thing would go for a circlet of persuasion (which I know you want)
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Circlet_of_Persuasion
In one day, if Infernius helped, or you bought a scroll, you could craft a Phylactery of Faithfulness, and gain the giga-haxx power (for Paladins) to be able to tell in advance if an act will cause you to Fall (you still fall, even if you commit certain evils by accident). I don't think you ever designated a holy symbol to turn undead either (Infernius has his brand), so you'll need something to show them if you want to stop the zombies in their tracks.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Phylactery_of_Faithfulness
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27154
27156
>>27153
i thought only liches have Phylacteries.
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27155
27156
>>27153
Damn... These are nice, and pretty cheap too
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27156
27157 27158
>>27154
As far as I understand, the liche's Phalactery is only a certain kind of phalactery that the spellcaster must craft to become one. It requires item creation feats. (I wonder if Torcuil or Infernius could become one...)
>>27155
You character could craft other stuff too. I only bothered to list the stuff I thought you might actually try.

>tfw mudpony
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27157
27159 27160
>>27156
Just start listing all of the things that could be made. Like I said, we can trade items now
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27158
27162
>>27156
im not sure if infernuis could since he use divine magic, but torcuil most definitely could.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27159
>>27157
this.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27160
27161
>>27157
M8, just make that stuff first: those are the things you'll find most useful.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27161
27164 27208 27212
>>27160
anything useful for me?
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27162
27163 27168 27194
wolfenstein___nazi_skeleton_969.jpg
>>27158
I'm NOT suggesting it by any means, but any spell-caster (except paladins, because of their Code) of 11th caster level can do it. The phylactery costs 120,000 gp and 4,800 XP to create.
Idk if I should even tell you this, but Infernius would have to become Lawful Evil first to accomplish it, in order to remain within one step of his Lord's alignment (some gods prohibit their clerics from casting evil spells, but Hitler didn't bat an eye when Infernius cast Contagion to try to infect Torcuil, so I guess he's the kind of god who lets his clerics cast everything on the list); Hitler is definitely Lawful, and the mere act of creating the phalactery is as good as an all-out conversion to Evil. If Infernius ever became anything other than Lawful while Evil-aligned, he would immediately lose all of his Clerical powers and there'd be no way to restore said powers, and there would be no in-game way for him to get them back with what is known in this world (that I can think of).
tl;dr: He could do it, but it'd be super edgy and would cost a lot of shekels.
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27163
27164
>>27162
This just might be useful on our elf friend
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Elixir_of_Truth
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27164
27165 27166
>>27161
I just listed for Trump you can create.
I mentioned the Brass Horn of Valhalla Earlier, although that'll take a while.
What are you looking for? You're a spellcaster: you can craft a LOT of stuff.
>>27163
Make it.

Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27165
27167 27169
>>27164
Everything I just listed*

Ask, and I'll look some stuff up.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27166
27168 27199
>>27164
>i need to go from 9 dex to 15 to get access to
two weapon fighting.
i want a dragon horn of Valhalla to replace my other one. ill work on that after i talk to ben and then thez.
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27167
27169 27171
>>27165
Would you like the ability to cast "Cure serious wounds" on yourself once per day?
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27168
27170 27172
>>27162
I only bothered to look that up because lichs are another one of my favorite monsters.
>>27166
GM says crafts will take 1 day per 1000 gp, fyi.
First and foremost, it'd be best to find the shekels those sandniggers stole. I'm thinking Cardishore.
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27169
27171
>>27165
>>27167
Or remove disease
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27170
27173
>>27168
liches are so fucking cool desu.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27171
>>27167
>>27169
>would I
Everyone could use those.
Anonymous
AYxkj
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No.27172
27173
>>27168
they weren't in durpistan.... wait a second a communist town would be a pretty good hideout for thieves.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27173
27174 27175
>>27170
Woah, woah, woah. Don't get any ebil ideas. Becoming a lich is more than just looking like a skeleton: it's turning into a lifeless monster that barely remembers what it used to be.
>>27172
Cardishore is the wealthiest settlement I can think of around here.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27174
27179 27181
>>27173
darth infernuis seeks a way to destroy the multi verse, becoming a lich would help.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27175
27176
>>27173
what about spartinater?
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27176
27177
>>27175
I doubt: too militaristic and too uniform to leave spots for sandniggers to hide. They're not "swimming in wealth either".
The security of Cardishore is airport-tier, but high-level Assassins could slip through pretty easily.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27177
27178 27181
>>27176
they don't just have to be sand niggers you know.
Anonymous
ulYHP
?
No.27178
27180
>>27177
>#NotAllDrow
Anonymous
ulYHP
?
No.27179
>>27174
Pay for it yourself though.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27180
27182
>>27178
jej but really though why just assume they couldn't disguise themselves as Aryan or Anglo.
Anonymous
s6Qe3
?
No.27181
27183 27185
vector_012___sad_rainbow_dash_vector_by_mpnoir-d8qbdo7.png
>>27174
Hey! That's my multiverse!

>>27177
They don't have to be, and yet they are
Anonymous
ulYHP
?
No.27182
27183 27186
>>27180
They obviously would've.
I just gathered that Drow kind of look/act like Arabs. You read how eager Darkie was to die: he was like a jihadist. They're certainly more intelligent and clever than niggers, but they also have an overall violent/sinister disposition as a race.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27183
>>27181
>>27182
hey im just trying to cover all our bases here.
Anonymous
ulYHP
?
No.27184
I need to hit the hay soon.
Goodnight.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27185
27225
>>27181
hey dude im sorry about earlier are we cool?
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27186
27188 27191
>>27078
I went to sleep
>>27099
There's 15 in total
>>27136
>>27146
No, I didn't. Its a bastard sword, meaning one OR two hands.
>>27182
You're not even in the right ballpark.

Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27187
27189
I need to explain something: I'm not going to explain everything. Earlier on in the story I would offer tidbits and anecdotes both to stimulate progress and to illustrate that that there is a wealth of back-story and context that leads to "This guy" acting in a particular manner, or how shit ended up there, or whatever. I will still offer explanations, but more in the aftermath than anything because doing so in advance gives characters an artificial disposition that doesn't make sense. Also, those explanations will pertain to what characters show an interest in. I haven't said shit about Krenshall, because so far no one seems to give a fuck.
Take Darkie for example, I could explain his disposition and the reasons he is how he is, but that would bias the characters in a particular way. In the absence of such an explanation and rather than assuming he's a jihadist, you could try asking him. I mean, I made it pretty clear that he's vain as fuck right? Right. His head is still in the bucket, next to the Entertron if anyone wants to ask him questions.
On the subject of Dark Elves in general, if you want to disregard them as 'sand nigs', thats a player's prerogative, but it would be more accurate to regard them (behavior and habit-wise) as russian mafia. I think I mentioned that once,... oh yeah I did.

I realize these threads get pretty long-winded, and some details are easy to skip or forget. If I respond to questions with a bit of cheek, its probably 'cuz I've already answered that question.
Anonymous
AYxkj
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No.27188
27190 27197
>>27186
hmmm i need to recruit some more.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27189
>>27187
yea i was gonna talk to him. its on my list.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27190
27211
>>27188
Are you sure about that?
Mrs. Sentry
b+M2C
?
No.27191
27192
>>27186
Ah.. I guess I just associated them a bit with the Garuda from Zelda, so that's why I got used to calling then sand people..
Mrs. Sentry
MWStQ
?
No.27192
27193 27206 27296
>>27191
But really, I found them similar to the old Nizari Assassin tribe (the one from which the term "Assassin" comes from) of the Middle East. The way they value stealth and cunning, but also have a cultural leaning to distrust others out of principle, because the notion of betrayal is so prominent in their society.
I also thought of that because of the thought of how they're not an inherently evil race (like orcs or whatever), but become evil early-on because they're brought up in a society/culture that suffocates good; which is why I associated them with Jihadists. Likewise, the Nizari sect of Shia Islam was practically an Assassination religion: trust/family didn't exist in their society; they too tortured their children from childhood to train them to toughen the fuck up, and their only medium of prestige/respect was in their admiration for the lethal and the cunning, with clergy being the closest thing they ever had to loose social organization.

I just have a habit of trying to find real-world allusions in media, even when they don't actually exist...
Mrs. Sentry
MWStQ
?
No.27193
>>27192
Yeah, I fucked up. Nizaris we're actually Persians.
I'm rather interested in this races and the surrounding published material. They seem incredibly edgy.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27194
27195
>>27162
TO LATE I'M GONNA FUCKING DO IT
Wait, whats a phalactery?
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27195
27196
>>27194
>Shouldn't have said anything
>Now all the spellcasters are getting crazy ideas
A phalactery is a religious/spiritual vessel of some sort. For a lich, it's the vessel that houses their "true" existence, and the only way to permanently kill one is by destroying it. It's typically a little box with a scroll of text that encompasses the memories of its past life, but could be any item. It's uber-expensive to craft.
Becoming a lich is Voldemort tier though. It's
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27196
27198 27296
>>27195
So, its a box that basically contains their soul?
And they can't die unless the box itself is destroyed?
Intresting....
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27197
27203
>>27188
Infernius's player should first focus on how he's going to develop his character to fix all of this dramatic BS, desu. It's getting in the way of things.
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27198
27200
>>27196
>soul
>Implying
Technically yes, to both questions.
Don't plan on doing it. Even if you could afford the cost to craft it, it's a horrible thing to do.
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27199
500px-Fascist_symbol.svg.png
>>27166
>Two-weapon fighting
A single fash-axe would suffice too.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27200
27201
>>27198
I was just generalizing.
And trust me, I don't wanna do it. But it could make for an intresting boss...
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27201
27202
>>27200
Lich is best boss.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27202
27204
image.png
>>27201
Is it now?
Anonymous
pSe/m
?
No.27203
27205
>>27197
I'll admit that that's quite hypocritical though....
Anonymous
pSe/m
?
No.27204
Tb mentioned swell with arguments about english vs american chocolate _d62c146e9e4c6156055497f0e92f6fb8.jpg
>>27202
>Posting the Blasphemed one like it's nothing
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27205
27207
image.png
>>27203
I'm kind of impressed that you found a solution that was so I character for her. It makes it look like her initial breakdown was triggered because the news made her wonder if Trumpaladin was really committed to her, so the solution is to resolve the commitment question.

One flaw in the way it was done though is that Trumpaladin was carried up to 5000 or so feet to do it. It's scenic and all, but it makes it seem like proposing was "an offer he can't refuse," like the only way she'd let him down is if he proposed. I guess he could call Fae, jump off, and then see if she could make it on time/if Tracy would then one after to murder them both, but really he didn't have much of a choice except to propose. Yeah I know, Tracy is a >rapist and doesn't give a shit if her victim is actually willing or not, but it leaves open the question of "did he really mean it" and "will he try to break the engagement before the ceremony?"

For example, after the formal mounting and the scene in the grove, after Tracy (and (you)) went to sleep, I had Trumpaladin place himself in a position he could have murdered Tracy in her sleep, or easily had she woken up. This made proceeding with Tracy more of an affirmative choice, because he had tried to kill Tracy before on like three occasions but was stopped because of Inferius, Torcuil, or Thez, and was resentful for that. He was left muttering "I should have killed you when I had the chance" although it's not clear that he actually did have the chance. But by seeing an opportunity then deciding against it, it makes the kill or marry decision actually meaningful, because it's his choice, and he can regret the consequences if he gets it wrong.
Anonymous
MWStQ
?
No.27206
>>27192
Of course, that feminist/matriarchal social structure elliminates most chances of direct Middle-Eastern allusion.. I guess I just tied them together because of the emphasis on psychological warfare and use of poisons in their society.
I can see now though that there appear to be very few if any real world history allusions in thes books. Paladins though seem to be largely based off of Christian crusaders, with their healing skills and code of conduct.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27207
>>27205
I wrote that thing in-part ahead of time (I wrote a lot of action plans), although I wasn't entirely awake while I was typing it. I'm glad it turned out the way it did though.
I'm not using any more math for this stuff though: it was a retarded system to use in the first place. I've already figured-out how to play her in character, so I threw-away the booklet. From here on out, I'm making decisions on the fly.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27208
27210
>>27161
Did you ever decide what your two Domains were? I figured Hitler's Domains would at least have War and Community under the list, but idk what your character chose.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27209
GM is there something for those of us to do who don't wanna be a faggot wanna do something other than Meta game and deal with realtionship drama?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27210
>>27208
war and truth.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27211
>>27190
its on the list after talking to the drow
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27212
27213 27214
king-ernie-reflects-on-all-the-pimps-he-had-to-20077599.png
>>27161
The list of stuff your character could craft is too long to bother with listing desu.. It all takes time anyway. What does your character need in particular?
As for me. I'm only going to have Tracy work on a few basic things while she's incubating these eggs, and then just steal everything she can get her hooves on, because mudpony Rogues can't really craft much at all. Thief lyfe 4ever (Pic related).
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27213
27215 27220
image.jpeg
>>27212
Oh hell no you're not loot hording again
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27214
27216
>>27212
i wouldn't mind a wisdom boost.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27215
27216 27218
>>27213
Four days for Infernius to craft:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Periapt_of_Wisdom
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27216
>>27215
Meant for >>27214

Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27217
27219
>yawn
taYuP
?
No.27218
27220
>>27215
I saw that last night and was intending to craft one
if I can find an additional level 2 spell to cast today

*goes to pony*
"Tracy, may I see one of the pearls from Kefka's jewelry?"
\r
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27219
27221
>>27217
You have the spell capacity for almost any item crafting
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27220
27223 27224
>>27213
I wouldn't consider personal, non-collective kills/bounties to be loot-hoarding, but I never said I was going to keep it all for Tracy. If I steal something useful to other party members, I'll redistribute accordingly. Half the stuff she's working on right now is for distribution.
Would you like a Mummified Elf Hand? Tracy has some other things in the oven, but they'll all take time. It was supposed to be a gift for Ponimaru, but you can have it if you really want it.
>>27218
Did he have any pearls? I never saw any.
*gives pearl, if it exists*
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27221
27222
>>27219
Yeah and?
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27222
27223 27225 27226
>>27221
And you should craft something and or help Tracy and I in crafting
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27223
27226 27228 27232
>>27220
>collection
>redistributions accordingly
I wasn't aware Tracy was a Socialist
>>27222
Well I guess he is at the tower
"Tracy, I heard you needed help crafting"
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27224
>>27220
i mean we live in a port city pearls aren't that rare most likely.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27225
27228
>>27222
checked.
see
>>27185

Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27226
27227 27229
>>27222
He isn't required to do anything, m8. Don't put pressure on him. Just ask him or Infernius for spells on an individual basis if you want something, rather than impose normatives.
Like I said earlier, I'm playing a Neutral Evil Thief: I'll get loot through stealing. The last two loot-able characters were Rogue-types, so I lucked out there.
Dem digits though...
>>27223
She's not. She's just a robber.
I just said I'd do it from now on because Trump's faggot will get upset if he doesn't get a cut of the stolen loot.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27227
27232
>>27226
>robber that redistributes
>socialist
What the difference?
So what is Tracy crafting?
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27228
27230
image.jpeg
>>27223
"Careful, that's my waifu. And she can get pretty rapey. Don't get raped. Or I will kill you. And your faggot will have a three day ban"

>>27225
Yes.
*gives internet hug*
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27229
27231 27232
>>27226
Well no shit he doesn't have to craft, but he's complaining about being bored, and he has a clear comparative advantage when it comes to crafting
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27230
1506930289951.gif
>>27228
*accepts internet hug*
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27231
27233
>>27229
Plz gib work
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27232
27234 27240
>>27223
What spells can he cast?
>>27227
It's not like I don't want to keep everything..
Right now, the only arcane spell she needs are Rage on the hilt of Berserk Sword. Everything takes time, and I didn't start any projects that'd require arcane spells.. You character has the Scribe Scroll Feat as a bonus, so he should be able to write them more quickly. If he could scribe a few low-level spells, like Rage, those would be appreciated.
Magick items require 1 day per 1000 gp, so having scrolls in advance could help with future crafting.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Scrolls
>>27229
>advantage
It's not a contest, m8..
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27233
27236 27246
>>27231
make me some anti negro weapons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U74Cgo592Bo
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27234
27235 27238 27241
>>27232
Lets see, Torc can do upto lvl 7 clerical and wizard spells.
Anything though if he has a meme
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27235
27236 27241
>>27234
you can do up to 8th level.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27236
27237 27238
>>27233
Okay, I make you a club that looks like a section of curb, for curb stomping
>>27235
Even better
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27237
>>27236
I can make you*
I ain't making it yet
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27238
27239
>>27234
>>27236
can you make a scare nigger for the tower?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuGiXtBX7UY
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27239
27242 27245 27246
>>27238
Moon man would be more of a summon
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27240
27246 27258
>>27232
>not a contest
Comparative advantage is a term from economics that refers to the ability of one nation to create goods of a certain kind better than another nation, or the ability of a person to produce a particular good or service better than another person. It's a term that refers to specialization in the division of labor. For example, if we needed some one to do something stealthy, Tracy would have a "comparative advantage" to the other members of the group, because she could do that better than anyone else.

I was saying Torcuil is better at casting spells than the rest of us
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27241
27243
>>27234
>>27235
I'd like Finger of Death, if Tracy is ever going to craft one of these out of the Troll Skuklls:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Mask_of_the_Skull
That'll also take Animate Object and Fly though, and would have to be cast on each day, if I'm not mistaken...
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27242
27243
>>27239
go to 1:15.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27243
27244 27246
>>27242
Fucking hell thats great
I'll do it free of charge
>>27241
Okay, Torc I know for sure can do fly, Finger of death is possible along with animate object.
"You got the skull?"
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27244
>>27243
sweet.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27245
>>27239
moon-man would be a deity.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27246
27247 27248
>>27240
I know what comparative advantage is; I was just a bit confused by what I thought you were implying.
Anyway, before anyone even thinks of crafting, the party needs to find the metal that the Drow stole. My best ideas are Cardishore and maybe Krenshal if not that, but Tracy is preoccupied with Animal-Rearing atm so she can't investigate... When the chance comes someone outta resurrect Darkie and try to milk some answers out of him (he'll be hungry too).
>>27243
"Thanks, Torcuil."
*produces troll skull*
>>27239
Sounds like a Construct.
>>27233
>anti-negro
Like a Bane weapon?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27247
27248 27250
>>27246
could a get a dual bane weapon?
kike/shitskin
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27248
27249
>>27246
Wosh, spells are cast
"Here you are murder horse"
>>27247
Did you not like the curb stomp club?