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Kicked Nuts
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.26914
Its meta AF atm, but the last thread is sooooo stale. The Game surprisingly continues! Infernius is borderline suicidal with a stalker, Trump and Tracy finally got engaged, Torcuil is in hiding, Norfilly is eating candy, Taylor is getting praise and adoration, Alex is a statue, Yak Lee is the surprise contender in the Fight Club,... yeah so stuff.

849 replies and 60 files omitted.
Anonymous
dMfDF
?
No.27660
>>27658
Well I have to go for a while.
Probaly a couple hours
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27661
27662 27663 27667
implying you wouldn't.png
>>27657
"Well, they can't be be that far from the logging area. Want me I guess I could check-out around there.."
*begins adjusting equipment*
"Could you help me with my saddlebags, Flashy? It's difficult to reach back there."
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27662
27663 27664
>>27661
"Why sure, little pony"
*he gets behind Tracy and helps her with her saddle bags, noticing how sexy she is from this angle, not like he didn't already know that*
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27663
>>27662
>>27661
infernuis smash.
taYuP
?
No.27664
27668
[1d20 = 15]
>>27662
Rolling for Will save
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27665
>>27658
Ok.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27666
>darth infernuis get
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27667
27669 27674
>>27661
If he went with her and rode her the whole way, she'd get a +21 Survival while following Tracks, and they'd hunt-down those 9gag abominations in no time.
"Are you sure you don't just want to come with, ~Flashy? I'm sure we'd make much more progress together."
Fill your sword with alcohol too.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27668
27670 27671
>>27656
For future reference, unless there's some aspect of the interaction that requires my input, you can just "Call Fae" and do whatever.
>>27664
Cuz Y?
taYuP
?
No.27669
>>27667
that's a good point about the alcohol. I need to do that
"Well, here's the thing. I have a platoon of soldiers that is ready for battle, but hasn't done anything yet. I want to test them and give them some experience before we take them on any larger, further away campaigns. So I want to lead them into battle. I think both you and Fae could track, but I'm not sure if I rode you while you locate the village, that Fae could herself lead the troops to the clearing. I think I need to bring them there first"
\r
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27670
>>27668
can i talk to the drow?
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27671
27672
>>27668
Can the troops be called to meet Trumpaladin at the clearing?

>why the will save
Because Tracy stretched provocatively in front of Trumpaladin and then showed her butt to him.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27672
27673 27682
>>27671
You mean the Broncos?
>needless saving throws
e_e
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27673
27679
>>27672
But of course I mean the Broncos

>needless
I needed to determine if he was going to sex her
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27674
27677 27680
>>27667
I know she's faster mounted, but is she a better tracker?
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27675
27676
*spit-polishes helm*
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27676
27678
>>27675
Oh come on, respond to something!
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27677
27682
>>27674
Yes.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27678
>>27676
>Sorry, weeping the walkway.
"Do you really think you'll need them all right away, Flashy?"
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27679
27683
>>27673
Just the Broncos, or the Generals also? I forget, how many Generals were there, and how many Broncos?
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27680
27681
>>27674
No
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27681
27686
>>27680
so the drow?
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27682
>>27672
Calls Fae

He tells Fae,
"FAE, I want you to go the monetary and collect the Broncos. All of them who are combat ready. Have them be in full battle formation. Have them ride horses, and bring weapons for both ranged and melee combat. I want you to lead them to the clearing. When you do this, fly over them and do spot checks to look for possible ambush. The same clearing we founds the trolls in a couple days ago. Tracy and I are going to track down the troll village. We will meet you and them there, and we shall attack the troll village in force. That will be the last time those trolls ever attempt to eat Port Barry's citizens."

Goes to the kitchen and collects three flasks of alcohol.

>>27677
When he returns to the stables, he says to Tracy,
"Alright. Let's do this together"
Presses X
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27683
27685 27686
>>27679
Well, "The Generals" was the original name of the Team, because that was the name of the team DJT owned in the 1980s. But you seem to have renamed them The Broncos. He is collecting all of his followers who are combat ready, and we haven't settled upon a number.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27684
I g2g. Give me 10 minutes
Tracy cooperates with whatever he's doing.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27685
>>27683
I mean all of Trumpaladin's followers who are qualified as warriors
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27686
27687 27689
>>27683
My bad, I had written them as 'the Broncos' (cuz Football) in my head. IIRC, they were the more elite/capable from amongst the Port Barry citizens, yes?
>>27681
I'm still shaky on the details, so I'll just say he's in one of the beds of the infirmary, in a full (metal) body-cast (cuz otherwise it would be bad, and I've let it go this far so fuck it)

Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27687
27688 27703
>>27686
"hows it going ahmed?"
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27688
27690
>>27687
Who are you talking to? Darkie?
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27689
27691 27693
>>27686
Yes, that is correct. Specifically I had said they were ones who had combat experience before in the demonic incursion, and I had thought they were the ones attacking the tarasque

I'm guessing they are probably not rated for mounted combat, but can they be dragoons, riding horses for transport and dismounting for combat?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27690
>>27688
yea.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27691
27692 27693
>>27689
Did you have the Gloves of Sparking? If you did, you should soak your arrows in alcohol.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27692
27694
>>27691
Shit, I think Inferius has those.

Calls Fae again
"Fae! Have the Broncos bring several flaming arrows each, and a couple lit torches."
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27693
27695 27699
>>27689
>attacking
Predominantly, but not exclusively. At the time, Sechs rallied the able-bodied, and the Generals (I still like Broncos better Xp) were the first to take up arms, and take a semi-leadership role.
>>27691
I will say, this is what happens when loot-whoring. I know you say "dropped at armory", but I don't know what was dropped there or when (the armory is the vault BTW) and I don't know what's there, or anything like that. Odds are, the gloves (which would maybe have been in the vault) are gone.

Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27694
>>27692
this.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27695
27696 27697
>>27693
I recall telling Inferius to take the gloves, since he took the grenades and would need something to light them with
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27696
27697
>>27695
i did take them.
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27697
27698 27701
>>27696
>>27695
Is gm back?
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27698
27700 27702
>>27697
Yes
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27699
27701
>>27693
Oh.. I was just going to have her put everything in the bag, since it had enough room, but then I thought it would be better to leave Darkie's weapons in the armory so anyone could pick it up if they needed it.
Is there a proper place I can have Tracy drop-off stuff she's looted/stolen? Some items might also be cursed, so there should be a separate spot for suspicious ones.
YKP3V
?
No.27700
27701 27702
[1d20 = 9]
>>27698
>rape Infernuis
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27701
27709
>>27697
You uh, wanna respond to that? >>27700
(she's got double-dubs)
>>27699
I'd say the vault, but there's spooders. Its ironic too, cuz I just found out that there's an encroachment of black widows in my basement
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27702
27703
>>27700
>>27698
counter roll?
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27703
27704 27706
>>27702
Are you resisting? Are you even in the same area?
>>27687
"Ahmed? I appreciate the lapse in boredom, but do be a sport about things won't you?"
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27704
27705 27712
>>27703
I think he was talking to Darkie.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27705
27710
>>27704
That was Darkie's response. My response got delayed cuz da ebins
AYxkj
?
No.27706
27707
[1d20 = 11]
>>27703
im in the tower.
i resist the rape.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27707
27708
>>27706
Counter-rape wins. Taylor will have to try harder
YKP3V
?
No.27708
27714
[1d20 = 7]
>>27707
More rape.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27709
27711
>>27701
So here is what I did
Call Fae
Tell her to go to the monestary, assemble all available combat forces, ask them to collect a ranged weapon and a melee weapon each, have them collect at least a few flaming arrows each, collect a few burning torches, and have them mount on horses. Tell the troops they will be riding to battle, and Trumpaladin will meet them after he has scouted ahead. We will be attacking the troll village. They are to go to the clearing in the woods where the trolls were last located.

On the way there, do not get cocky, as the woods be filled with danger. Do spot and listen checks on the surrounding environment as they proceed down the path. Fae is to fly above them, and do spot and listen checks. When they get to the clearing, they are to hold position until Trumpaladin returns, or FAE gives orders. Fae is to stay in position unless unreasonable to do so, although if the location is clear, she may proceed with them there. Fae is to communicate DANGER if attacked through empathic link, and likewise if there is something of clear interest found along the way.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27710
1315630__safe_artist-colon-an-dash-m_oc_oc only_oc-colon-syriana_barrel_bipedal_colored pupils_earth pony_female_floppy ears_looking at you_mare_nation.jpeg
>>27705
>da ebins
I was glad to see he wasn't kill, too.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27711
27713
>>27709
>Trumpaladin will meet them
Send a pigeon, if we have any.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27712
27718
>>27704
Trumpaladin mounts Tracy and rides her to wherever she wants to go
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27713
27718
>>27711
He could try to communicate with Fae, but he kind of wants to give a heroic speech...

Okay, we'll call them to join us

Oh yeah, Trumpaladin grabs a pigeon

>THIS is what you need 200 pigeons for
AYxkj
?
No.27714
27715 27716
[1d20 = 6]
>>27708
why?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27715
27716
>>27714
fuck!
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27716
>>27715
>>27714
Because it will fix your brain faggot.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27717
27719 27720
Tay, be very clear to specify that you are using some form of contraceptive
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27718
>>27712
>cue transformation scene
"The Ride starts now!"
Tracy makes rides her way over to the forest past the the logger's mill and begins to look for 9gag watermarks.
>>27713
He could always have them meet him in the forest outside the camp before the charge. Tell them to bring torches.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27719
>>27717
This.
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27720
27721
>>27717
I dont have any.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27721
27722 27723 27724
>>27720
Then pls, don't do it...
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27722
>>27721
Or just go buy a goat intestine at the butcher shop.
Or use the rest of Soro's intestines (hanging in the stables).
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27723
27725 27727 27731
>>27721
Im the evil character not this bull.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27724
27725
>>27721
this.
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27725
27726
>>27723
Yeah, but it'll cause drama if your character gets pregnant, and not in a good way.
>Im the evil character not this bull.
Ikr.
>>27724
Shut your bull mouth.
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27726
>>27725
why though? thot.
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27727
27728
>>27723
Thez was evil far before any of you lot,....
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27728
27729 27730
>>27727
"thez are you there please help."
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27729
Spoilered
>>27728
>asking to talk now
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27730
27732 27733
>>27728
"Oh look now, suddenly he wants to see me,...."
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27731
27736
>>27723
Tay, please don't rape Inferius unless it's oral or with a strap-on anally. You are currently the ONLY female player character, besides the small child, who is not pregnant
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27732
27733 27734
>>27730
"well if anybody rapes me i want to be you."
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27733
27735
>>27730
>>27732
Queit you two. This IS happening.
Tay
YKP3V
?
No.27734
27745
>>27732
X
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27735
>>27733
You know, you can't just >rape with a single dice-roll,... it takes several rounds of contestable interactions and forced giggity to pull off a >rape
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27736
339269__explicit_grimdark_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_oc-colon-treebark_adolf hitler_blood_do or deer_gabe newell_meme_-fwslash-mlp-fwslash-_nicolas.jpg
>>27731
>strap-on
This.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27737
27738
THEZ, STOP HIM FROM CUMMING INSIDE HER!
XFF+1
?
No.27738
27739 27741 27742
[1d100 = 1]
>>27737
Its not like every sex results in a pregnancy,....
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27739
27740 27742
>>27738
Wow, that was a d100. I'm inclined to think it did
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27740
27742 27743
>>27739
Did Thez do nothing to stop her?
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27741
27745
>>27738
"damn it i dont want my dick inside anyone whoes not you thez. i wish you felt the same way i do. i love you, you broke my heart when you fucked trump."
Anonymous
AYxkj
?
No.27742
27745
>>27740
>>27739
>>27738
*heart breaks even more*
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27743
>>27740
Oh please, this whole thing is invalid. Are you saying that Taylor could over-power Infernius? His strength bonus ALONE beats out any of her dice rolls.
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27744
Someone please stop Tay before we have a third pregnant female, and Trumpaladin has to go get another female pregnant to be equal with Inferius
YKP3V
?
No.27745
27746 27747
[1d20 = 19]
>>27742
>>27741
>>27734
Rape

Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27746
27748
>>27745
That's a good start, but the first dice-roll pertains to starting a grapple. From there, you need another roll to pin the opponent, and from there you need another roll (with a negative modifier) to successfully >rape
AYxkj
?
No.27747
27748
[1d20 = 7]
>>27745

YKP3V
?
No.27748
27749
[1d20 = 8]
>>27746
>>27747

AYxkj
?
No.27749
27750
[1d20 = 4]
>>27748

Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27750
27753
>>27749
Wins
Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27751
27752 27755
Does Tracy have >rape sense?

Thez! Do something! That's your husband!
Anonymous
XFF+1
?
No.27752
>>27751
"He's been a douche, he deserves to sweat for a bit."
AYxkj
?
No.27753
27754 27756
[1d20 = 7]
>>27750
i drag taylor to the forge amd throw her into the furnace.
YKP3V
?
No.27754
27756 27758 27845
[1d20 = 1]
>>27753

Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27755
27757 27758 27760
>>27751
>was meme-making
Aren't they both in the forest, looking for watermarks?
Mrs. Sentry
ulYHP
?
No.27756
27762
>>27753
That'll piss-off Lenos
>>27754
>1
Dammit...
XFF+1
?
No.27757
27784 27899
[2d20 = 11]
>>27755
Yes, I was just responding in character to why Thez isn't breaking them up.

Actually on scene and in game, Thez sighs.
T> Double Stunning Fist

Anonymous
taYuP
?
No.27758
>>27754
RIP Tay
>>27755
Yes, But GM hasn't responded to that, so I figured we may as well stop Inferius from impregnating Tay so Trumpaladin doesn't have to go find another mare
XFF+1
?
No.27759
27784 27899
[2d20 = 28]
Both Tay and Infernius are stunned for the next round.
T>Double-Sweep