NO HOMO
This begins yet another edition of the Game thread, this time extra sweet 'cuz Norfilly won't stop being so damn cute.
The party has successfully felled the Terrasque, removed the head from the Nerd, watched as George Soros got his fool head blown off and was BTFO yet again (how WILL he live down the infamy?) and now ventures off to collect sticks, or build telescopes, or whatever it is they plan to do now that there's a new thread that isn't over 1.1k posts.
There is now an official bath-house, and characters seem quite taken by it both in spite of and to troll any detractors who would otherwise throw salt in our fun.
This is an ongoing RPG thread geared toward D&D-esque adventuring, shitposting, funposting, bantz, shitposting, funposting, and murder.
Feel free to join! The bathwater (and blood) is nice.
894 replies and 73 files omitted.
>>20080You know, all your sneaking around and shiesty shit could easily be mitigated by Tracy declaring in one way or another "Hey, in case you didn't know, I may have to sneak around and do some sheisty shit from time to time, but don't worry, you'll all be better off for it"
>>20077Ikr, but now I remember how hard wood working is
>>20082Belt-sander or table-grinder
>>20078Infernius isn't dumb enough to piss-off Tracy when she's a pin's drop away from making Chinese Medicine out of his horn,
unless he actually is, idk.Besides, I don't intend to cause any explict ruckus among the lawful residents of Port Barry.
>>20081I could've sworn I had her say something that months ago, but Trumpaladin just wouldn't have any of it..
Control freak...
>>20081As I said, my model for Trump good is Anerican foreign policy under Republican presidents, like Saint Reagan. Assassinations, coups, propping dictators, and giving money to Contras and Mujahadeen are entirely within the realm of acceptable behaviors. But they still need to be justified by being necessary to stop some larger evil
>>20086I'm sure you were less explicit
>>20087Port Barry doesn't even have a government: it's an ancap paradise, slavery and all. You don't need to self-appoint as some kind of detective.
Just stop "investigating", and there won't be anything for him to worry about.
>>20088Perhaps, but I still wasn't sure what I was doing.
>>20086>inb4 GrappleWe're expanding our domain of protection, so be forewarned
>>20089>To avoid executing the duties of an Emperor, don't be an EmperorYour post makes no sense to me
I've finally done it!!
(FUCK YEAH!!!!)
>>20089Like it sounds like what you are saying is "don't try to save people goyim, go back to sleep." That's not persuasive
>>20084Actually, just a good piece of sandpaper would go a long way for this
>I'm just ignoiing the fighting >>20092Focus on becoming emperor first: it's generally a bad idea to act like you're in charge before you actually are, because that breeds conflict, especially in midst of a recent a recent power vacuume. Better to call your forces a factional army with a defined cause and Port Barry as their base, than to claim actual authority as a governing police force. Paladins are archytypical "crusaders", so it's better to declare the goal to take the Emperor's citadel first and then draw in associates of all kind: a Paladin cannot willingly reach out to evil or chaotic associates, but nothing forbids them from assembling diverse forces under a mutual flag.
tl;Dr: stop trying to be the police and paint yourself a banner that forces of all allignments can assemble under.
>>20094M8, that statue will take up half the city and take months to carve with your low-level stone-manipulating spell. Awesome meme though.
>>20097No no, let him. It will more fun that way
for me >>20095No. I'm saying stop trying to get in the way of muh schemes.
>>20098thanks im gonna do a bit more to it then ill be finished for real.
>>20099I figured it would be very, very, very likely for foreign forces to attack and stomp us if the local narcicist actually tried to crown himself baron or something.
>>20102Why, whatever would give you that impression,... I mean I personally had never thought of such a scenario,... at all,... ever
SHHHHHH >>20097Like, that whole post is literally exactly everything I've been doing. It's Inferius who wants to make the police force. Trumpaladin would only focus on smaller targets much later.
The reason Tracy is under suspicion isn't because she's a villain - she'd have to stand in line for smiting like every one else. It's because she makes pretensions of being Trumpaladin's waifu, and more importantly, because she is carrying Trumpaladin's child, who may or may not be the anti-Christ. Trumpaladin wants his waifu and the mother of his child to be worthy of the role. That's why she falls under more suspicion
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>tfw Tracy and Trump's faggots would have gotten into a fist fight by this point if we whee plailying in person
>>20103>>20102I'm going to redirect everyone to
>>20104 again. If you've read it, read it again. It's the most important post
>>20104I can maintain surface-level honor, if you don't needlessly do too much deep "investigation".
Just have your character focus on rallying spirits for his crusade before you go too far in presiding over the ongoings of the areas surrounding Port Barry. It's a neutral city: they won't like being told what to do at first, even if they do cooperate.
>>20107I get that m8. I'm just using the bantz as cautionary foreshadowing. ^_^
I can't say that the next session is going to be terribly developmental as far as the story is concerned, and I'll be letting the players do the lion's share of determining what is explored and who goes where and all that. My main focus as far as sussing out the next few legs of the campaign is determining exactly how many factions were in some way connected to and active within the 'empire', and how they will respond to the news that the Emperor
and his pet are dead, what does that mean for each particular group, and how they will respond to news and the increasing presence of the party.
>>20108On this note, he AND the party have done an exceptional job of being an inspirational presence, and have thus had little difficulty in gaining followers and participants. However, Port Barry has been almost the exclusive witness and beneficiary to the party's actions; one would be operating foolishly to assume that everyone will respond in kind.
>>20112Side quests sound like a good idea to me too.
>>20113thats why i want to help with finding a druid.
>>20112>>20113Yes of course. I figured thats where this was trending, for the immediate future, and everyone appears to be settling in on a particular pursuit/agenda. Plus, that will make it easier for me to provide individual challenges that don't involve adding more hit dice to creatures, or just adding more creatures.
The nerd fight went well, but largely because he underestimated the party. If he had seen the party as a threat, he'd have operated far differently, and there would be alot more craters and grease-spots
>>20114It'd be a cool way to acquire special items/weapons too.
>>20110>Port Barry is NeutralDid you mean to say "was"? It is now Athens after the Persain Wars, or America at the turn of the 20th Century. It is ready to take on glory.
Trumpaladin's child is more important than the crusade or the image. For that, more than mere appearance is essential.
There doesn't have to be actual honor, the targets just have to be assholes. That's literally the only request. I'm sure there are plenty
>>20109>>20110>how they respond to the death of KefkaMy intuition says that most will want to opperate as independent city states, while a few go on conquests, and pirate and bandit lords pop up. But my intuition also says that at least one will want some sort of protectorate relationship with the capital and whoever controls it, especially if there is no vast tribute, and especially if there is an agreement of military protection and commerce in exchange.
>no one will no the partyThey will know who killed Kefja and the Tarrasque. That will mean something to them. If they feared and were subdued by him and the Terrasque, they ought to respect whoever could slay him.
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>>20116im ready to go when you are.
Hold on, I'm gonna kill Cortana FOR GOOD
>>20120im goint to inject her into my brain.
>>20117>They will know who killed Kefja and the Tarrasque.Just wait for the countless imposters who'll inevitably show up.
>>20124Then help kill them Goddamn it!
>>20125They'll try to rip off your speeches too, I bet.
>>20126I'll kill them myself then
>>20127ill grapple there heads in.
>>20120Kek. She isn't fully dead, but she is sealed away (not unlike the Terrasque)
>>20124There you go, giving me ideas again
>>20129Fuck it, I'll abandon Plan A and do all of this the hard way
>>20131? I'm not sure I follow. I was talking about Cortana (except the ideas re: false claims of being Kefka's demise)
>>20132That was more of a general statement than a reaction to that specific post
>>20134Protip: abandon intuition.
>>20135Then abandon your goddamn flow charts and old plans
Curious, are these discussions of Druids, taking the Capital, etc. being discussed IN character? Not opposed, but there has been some in and out of character comments that leave me wondering.
>MFW I won't be around to participate in or see where this goes
>>20140And the group will get together and work towards a/that plot, I will require it (through obstacle and context). However, a little bit of side-questing might also be in order, both to contribute to group cohesion and to allow characters to develop a tad further. Several players have expressed a desire to develop/change the course of their characters, and while I could easily <poof> "IT IS SO", I'm growing increasingly disdainful of that sort of practice. For example, the only character currently available who can teach Infernius Two Weapon Fighting is Thez, which means he'll have to spend a few sessions getting beat up. ^_^
Now that the map has been finalized, I have more room to develop shit in. The artifacts ON the map are not the ONLY places or things of concern, that's just the baseline that is being used. The Capital is far to the north of Cardashil, and there are several nation-states to interact with before arriving there, and that's without diverting toward Sparintar or Krenshall-blur-blur-blur.
>>20156Why do posts keep switching order?
Thank you for that
I have IRL problems that are getting to me.
Oh well, back to the plans I made four weeks ago before the Soros battle
>>20156They are in order, as best as I can tell
RESURRECTING KORAK. That's what I should do!
Trump's faggot, Y U make me type all that out if U just delet it?!
>>20163I was thinking about that. The problem is that GM won't let me have that power. Maybe Inferius does, since his clerical domains were never firmly established.
>>20164I saved it all in screenshot and word document
>>20162We apparently can't use the army we've been building for a month, so we need to go someplace that is a path of least resistance. Port Barry has got to be trading with
someone, so hopefully they would let us through the front door. Korak knows the sea well, although he did suggest he couldn't be of much help in pointing out good port towns, so maybe it's not as good of an idea as I thought.
I'm thinking maybe we should just Leroy Jenkins the capital anyways
GM, do I get bonuses if my homemade die has been cured with some of my blood?
>>20163That would work now that his hat is off to you.
Ha!>>20166Infernius and Torcuil both can use Geas. And who said you can't use the army you've been building for a month? As far as trade is concerned, its slowly picking back up and is about to take off, but the city is largely self-sufficient.
>>20169:O
>>20220Did I miss something?
>>20221Yeah, like ~20 posts got deleted, raving about the moral relevance of abortion. Better it not be brought up again though.
Are side quests still on the table though?
Did the the people of Port Barry ever actually get a clear shot of Tracy in her nightmare form? I've been semi-depending on Tracy's smoke granting total concealment against creatures more then 10 feet away (I imagined that last attack would've looked like a lightning bolt shooting out of a dark cloud), but now I'm not so sure about it... This could impact how my assassination projects work in the future...
Also, what class is Lenos? I guessed Loremaster, but idk.
>>20223I hope
>>20221Yeah, saw blades hurt. But at least I'm fine now
>>20224Haha, I ain't doing it
>>20225When you attacked Soros you were in nightmare form, and this would have been witnessed by Sechs and the entire Port Barry Army
>>20227Yeah, but the smoke cloud should've obscured her form at 10 or more feet.
I just want to know just how much of her they actually saw.
>>20229Well, the golden lady and the party saw you at more than 10 feet, and you were charging for part of it, so you likely outran your cloud at some point. The archers of the Port Barty militia were mentioned as being "in a ring," which suggests that they were in the seating area facing the field. So there would have been 20 people in the seating area in a sort of ring surrounding the scene from every angle. The seating areas are literally designed to allow for the best view of action in the field possible.
My guess is that between the 20 of them they saw enough to look into their magic creature books and say, "that thing was probably a nightmare." And if they don't have magical creature books, I'm sure at least one of the thousand people they tell the story of the Golden Lady and Soros's return would have thought to look up similar creatures in their magical creature book.
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The party would've known who she was so that doesn't really matter, and I figured the Golden Lady had some kind of omniscient recognition of her. I just want to know how much they were able to actually make out through a 15-foot cloud.
Either way, I'll wait for GM's clarification before I complete this section of the chart.
>>20232The Book of Magic Creatures has a lot of pictures
>>20233My isp changed my ip, could you gibe flag?
>>20232Also this.
>>20233It's highly unlikely that the average person would have a book illustrating the local wildlife of Shadowfell, but I guess I see your point.
>>20235Almost the first thing we did was build a Library in the town and transferred some books. And this is definitely the kind of story that is repeated. I don't think you can expect to be lucky every time
>>20237Same time as the stadium. Because Tourcil likes books
>>20238Could you post make port barry great again 1&2? so i can get a refresher on all the cool shit we built.
>>20240You did that all in three weeks?
>>20226Yeah, I really do want to go on a journey to find some hippies.
>>20241I was surprised too. The first set happens between the time the treasure is obtained and the Second Soros fight, while the second part happens between the second Soros fight and Korak. GM said it's more or less complete in full by now
>>20242Just be available when we assault the Court City. I guess I have a unicorn to court, a city to rile, some seige engines and ships to commission, and some of Korak's men to revive
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>>20238>I had personally forgot about the libraryWhat do we want Torc's squad to make?
Morters? Trebuchets? Ballistias?
>>20246>mortars, ballistas, or trebuchetsYes
I'll do some magic to secure funding for the base materials, while you recruit nerds
>>20246Id say a good mix all available siege weapons. Can you get your guys to research cannons for ship battles?
>>20246What about arcane research? You could lead a term of mage scientists/mages to discover spells and techniques to empower other factions.
>>20249Also, alchemy research sounds suitable for librarians too.