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nuts1.png
Rare Nuts
Anonymous
FQKZc
?
No.56794
56798 56802
Thus we begin the 53rd Nuts thread. There'd be more, except I've gotten lazy and won't bake until threads are ~1500 posts now.

Its an RP thread based on core D&D rules (3.5e particularly). Anyone can shitpost, comment, or play as they prefer, though making a character does require a small bit of detail.

The party is currently almost totally divided. Not on philosophical or moral grounds, they're just not in the same place at the same time. Infernius is kidnapping Trump for some reason, who was headed to check out the Sil wall, which is a concept he's only recently heard of, but will probably like.
Tracy is headed to Cardashil to stab things and (maybe) get her previous stash of knives back from.
Stix is exploring the primeval forest, intent on finding Trollestia (?), while Torcuil and Snek - when they're not attacking one another - are taking the airship to Krenshall.
Thez hasn't been seen since learning that Kefka is still (again?) alive, which she seemed most emphatically not pleased to discover.

Its mid-week, so it won't shouldn't, but probably will get hairy until later. So then, go nuts.
1577 replies and 153 files omitted.
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57932
57933
>>57931
"COWARD!"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57933
>>57932
[Painful wimpering]
*Charred legs tremble*
Anonymous
Xqhzm
?
No.57934
58018
>>57928
Stix wonders on what this means. He remembers what Trumpaladin said, to be careful about what you say around her, lest something go terribly wrong. He just wishes he knew the best approach to this strange situation.

“While I enjoy a snack now and again, and bananas can be delicious, I’m afraid I am not very hungry at the moment, but thank you for the offer.”
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57935
57936 58114
>>57931
T
O
P
K
E
K
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57936
57939
>>57935
That's not funny

Also, the metal dragon's turn
"COME AND FIGHT ME MOTHER FUCKER!"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57937
57938 57939
I'm running on empty....
Anonymous
Eyw81
?
No.57938
57939
>>57937
Smells like a bitch.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57939
57940
>>57938
Damn!
>>57937
Tracy has enough distance to hide on her next turn
>>57936
I assure you I was laughing. Saving throw
+3JjH
?
No.57940
57941
[1d20+15 = 23]
>>57939

qiKXT
?
No.57941
[14d8 = 53]
>>57940
Trump takes another gout of flames /2
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57942
57943
Now
+3JjH
?
No.57943
57944
[4d20 = 39]
>>57942
Trumpaladin attacks the flamethrowing nozzle specifically
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57944
57945
suburito_kaigata_01_1346744336.jpg
>>57943
Well, you got a 20 so I'll allow that to work, but realize that a sunder attack is different from a normal attack, at least as far as Sugoito is concerned. Imagine it being like a really long tuning fork, so dense that whatever it was brought to bear against kinda just collapses, breaks, or dents.
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57945
57946
>>57944
What is like a really long tuning fork? The proboscis of dalek thing?
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57946
57947
>>57945
No, Sugoito. The break-stick. An attack is using it like a sword. A sunder is using it almost like a harmonic device
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57947
57949
>>57946
Either way, Trumpaladin targets the flaming proboscis. +4 Improved sunder feat
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57948
57951
"I wish Fae were here"
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57949
57950
>>57947
Yes, he smashed that. The device stops and sits still for a moment.
DESTRUCT
Roll one more saving throw
+3JjH
?
No.57950
57954
[1d20+15 = 17]
>>57949
The device learns to its dismay as so many have before it, that when you think Trumpaladin is fired for good, he just keeps coming back
Anonymous
Eyw81
?
No.57951
57952
>>57948
"Me wish thez was here."
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57952
57953
>>57951
Where is Infernius again? I know he went to track an animal, but I don't recall what he's doing other than talking to blink-doge
Anonymous
Eyw81
?
No.57953
57954 57958
>>57952
Bringing blink doge to cardishil with me.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57954
57955
>>57953
Alright.
>>57950
The machine explodes outward with a fireball that singes the,... wait a second, there's no trees
i =kaun
Anonymous
aPfan
?
No.57955
57957 57963 57965 57982
>>57954
If Trumpaladin is still alive and conscious, he calls upon the power of Elway to fill him with charm, and lay of hands heals himself... With basically all points, because his hp is low.

He then collects any valuable parts of the machine, and probably non-valuable parts of the machine as well. Not because he wants to do anything with them, but specifically to keep Tracy from getting a hold of them, because she fucking ran.
Anonymous
96xM6
?
No.57956
>>57928
In gnomeland, Torc begins to feel uneasy
>"You okay?"
"Yes, I just felt a great disturbance in the force..."
>"NERD"
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57957
>>57955
Tracy walks up and licks Brad's burns
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57958
57959
raven-spirit-animal.jpg
>>57953
*Fiendish Raven Flies up and pecks Infernius in the forehead*
<SQUAWK>
*leaves scroll in his hand*
*pecks again and vanishes*
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57959
57960
>>57958
Where'd the raven come from?
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57960
57961 57970
>>57959
It was summoned.
I figured summons are cooler than pigeons when it comes to delivering short-distance messages.
Could just forget about it though.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57961
>>57960
I don't mind it, just curious is all
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57962
The message reads:
>Flashy and I went to Cardashil
>Waiting in lines is gay, so find the hole on the left side of the dome; use your magic to reseal the hole after you're through.
>Hope to see you there
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57963
57965
>>57955
Tracy un-clips one of her saddlebags and hands it to Brad, so he can carry the mailbox.
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57964
57966 57974
"That mailbox recognized us as 'Intruders' right away.. I don't like the sound of that..." Tracy says, not paying any mind to the fact that the normal response to seeing a knife-brandishing Mexican clown sitting on Big Bird's face in an alley would be to whip out your flamethrower and burn everything.
Anonymous
x5CjY
?
No.57965
>>57955
>>57963
She also offers him a tower shield.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57966
57967
>>57964
It wasn't arbitrary, there's a reason
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57967
57969
>>57966
>there's a reason
That's exactly why there's reason to be worried. Either the security has a means of identifying who's a resident and who isn't, or they were expecting us.

"Think we should go back and meet Infernius?"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57968
af5.jpeg
>tfw Infernius fed you so much bacon that you can only move by teleporting
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57969
>>57967
Not only that, the party's goals in this area aren't exactly clear.
Tracy's top priority is to retrieve her beloved knife collection.
Anonymous
96xM6
?
No.57970
57971
>>57960
>summons as messenger boys
>T-rex crashes through a wall carrying a latter
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57971
>>57970
Kek
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57972
57976
If barding has the same armor encumbrance rules, is it still twice as expensive to produce?
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57973
Can you sunder natural weapons too?
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57974
57975 57976
>>57964
*pets pony*
"These things can instantly recognize who is a citizen and who isn't, and incinerate non-citizens. I wish we had these things in America. Kind of impressive actually.

But really, you can't say you expected anything less out of Cardishore, can you?"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57975
57977
>>57974
I did, but that wouldn't stop Tracy from looking for her knives.
She didn't want to wait, because she wasn't sure if she'd get her other equipment back, and she might need that to get her knives.
Also, are you sure you want to carry that whole thing? You're already wearing armor.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57976
57977
>>57972
Yes. Barding is far more technical and specialized, and has a greater resource cost for materials.
>>57974
Astute observation
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57977
57978 57980
>>57975
*glares*
"Shall we proceed?"

>>57976
Calls Fae
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57978
>>57977
Fae, still back in Port Barry mutters, "Oh for fuck's sake,..." and departs for Cardishore.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57979
Tracy pockets the remaining charred scrap metal and sprinkles some glitter-dust on the scorch marks to hide the evidence.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57980
57982
>>57977
"Where are we going?"


Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57981
57982 57985
Please note, Trump is at ~45% health
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57982
57984
>>57980
"I thought you were the one who wanted to come inside? giggity"

>>57981
I assure you I noticed, hence >>57955

Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57983
57988
Tracy, considering that the machine could've noted their appearances to an operator, changes her disguise to the prince of Persia.
She throws some more dust in Brad's face to make him appear like an ostrich.

Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57984
>>57982
K. Lay on hands,... oh shit, lay on hands is Paladin level X3,... so that puts him pretty much back to full give or take
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57985
57988
>>57981
What about Tracy?
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57986
57987 57989
No, thats wrong
Paladin level X CHARISMA bonus
Yeah, he's fine nao
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57987
57990
>>57986
How many points would he have left to recover with the ability today?
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57988
57992
112263411_medium_1494329106.jpg
>>57983
*glares*

>>57985
*sighs, and Lay of wings Tracy*
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57989
>>57986
He used the charm domain power to raise his charisma, so 7 points of HP per paladin level may be healed
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57990
57992 57993
>>57987
Uhm, Trump's modified cha bonus is +6 or +7? In either case, he can heal all damage.
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57991
Tracy took 35 dmg, Trump took 60
I'm so digging my new combat system
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57992
57995
>>57988
I was going to do the opposite, but Tracy thinks Brad looks cute as a big fluffy birdie.
*Prince of Persia beckons ostrich to ride him*
>>57990
What I meant was, how many hit points does he have left to heal with Lay on Hands? It doesn't have to be all used at once iirc.

Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57993
57994 57995 57996
>>57990
You know what, fuck it.

I am declaring now that Trumpaladin's additional ability point from level 16 will go into Charisma
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57994
>>57993
Why would you put it into anything else?
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57995
57996
>>57993
That puts him at 23 (currently) yes?
>>57992
He has that option, and since we're at a standstill he can have applied the point prior to the laying on of hands, so if there is an additional + he can apply it
The question is is the equation 17*7 or 17*8?
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.57996
57997 57998
>>57993
Emus are cooler
*rides Prince of Persia*

>>57995
22, but 26 when he has something like the charm domain power

It would be x8
Anonymous
Xqhzm
?
No.57997
58000 58001
>>57996
>rides prince of Persia
Sounds pretty gay...
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.57998
57999 58001
>>57996
That would put his daily erotic massage at 136.
Is he fully healing Tracy? She did run off,... Xp
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.57999
>>57998
Tracy came back after the mailbox exploded.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58000
>>57997
It's just an ironic twist on the movie, where there was an ostrich race.
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58001
>>57997
He's an Ostrich now. Which is Almost an Emu. And Emus defeated the Australian Army. So watch it

>>57998
Hmmmm....
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58002
The Prince of Persia carries the ostrich further into town, looking for a help desk or any other information-gathering station.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58003
58004
*channels divegrass energy*
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.58004
830555__semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-wuzzlefluff_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_nicolas cage_super saiyan.png
>>58003

Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58005
*earth shakes*
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58006
*lightning strikes*
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58007
*solar eclipse*
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58008
*meteor shower*
Anonymous
Xqhzm
?
No.58009
58012
Second verse, same as the first.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58010
Tracy lets out a fiery sigh.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58011
*hundreds of screeching winged monkeys burst out of a rip-hole in the sky and fly in a doughnut-shaped formation*
Anonymous
96xM6
?
No.58012
>>58009
>Mumbled singing about a guy named Henry
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.58013
58014 58015 58017
Fae transmits to Trump
>Having difficulty finding a way in, standby
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58014
58015
>>58013
>"There is a hole off to the side cut into the wall"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58015
58016 58017
>>58014
Tracy put the stone slab back in to avoid suspicion, she'll have to look closely alongside that wall.
>>58013
Does the two find anything else interesting in the city?
Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.58016
58018 58019
>>58015
>interesting
Not yet, though they can't seem to find anyone living, aside from the shazbot (that's its name btw, its unique so don't bother)
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58017
58020
>>58015
*sigh*
Rides the horse back to the wall, quicklyish

>>58013
>step away for a minute, standby
Anonymous
Xqhzm
?
No.58018
>>58016
And just a reminder for when your ready to continue with Stix: >>57934

Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58019
58023
>>58016
>no people
What about inside the houses themselves? The fancy ones?
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58020
58021
>>58017
"I want to explore this place a bit more..."
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58021
>>58020
"I need Fae in case we encounter another one of those things"
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58022
Gosh, I wish Tracy's Char stat could get higher..
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58023
58024
>>58019
Like, do the houses appear to be occupied?

Anonymous
qiKXT
?
No.58024
58025
>>58023
The way I see it, Tracy and Trump haven't really gone very far in the city, having gone toward the more central area and got immediately run up on by a robot right when Tracy was thinking of knocking on the apparent entrance to one of the many buildings apparent.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58025
>>58024
Oh.

Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58026
58027
So then, how do we advance from here?
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58027
58028
>>58026
We get Fae, that way Trump will have an ally who won't run when he needs her, or at the very least, will run with him, then we go deeper into the city and explore its secrets
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58028
58029
>>58027
Okay then, you do that while Tracy advances deeper into the city.
Anonymous
+3JjH
?
No.58029
58031
>>58028
No, ride's tracy to the wall to save time and get Fae. Cut the hole bigger if necessary
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58030
Tracy tries to look more closely at one of the buildings.
Mrs. Sentry
x5CjY
?
No.58031
58032
>>58029
Why though?
I don't want anymore delays. We haven't done anything this weekend.