RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.
Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....
This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1160 replies and 142 files omitted.
>>48715Tracy still hasn't made her turn though.
>>48716Yes she did. She went into the room with all the noise, same as everyone else
>>48716He's right. It would have taken a few rounds to determine what the refuse in the previous room was. The battle order was modified when engaging the golems because of party position. I'd say its been about 7-8 rounds.
>>48717Idk how long it's been then...
I just want to stab
something soon.
>>48718Ah.
Was Tracy's Search check able to find anything of interest in that room?
>>48719I hope these leftists are as ridiculously bureaucratic as the ones in our world: hopefully they'll have some useful documents.
>>48719>>48720>>48718I too would like to know what kind of culture this is, and what kind of structure. I get that it's an undead culture, but there must be more to it than that
>>48719Nope. It was once a storage area of some sort, but its been left to disuse and rot.
>stabYeah, that's right where things are at. I admit I got a little distracted when the Hitler v. Elway exchange was happening, but I would have avoided falling asleep if I was more conscious of it.
As is, it IS Tracy's turn, as Torcuil had just cast Mass Cure Serious on himself and the first of the advancing group. Strangely, it appears to have had no effect.
>>48723There was no holy word or word of chaos?
>>48724Hmmm. Good point. There could have been the holy word of chaos OR the Mass Cure, but not both.
>>48725Ill do the other option that torc doesnt choose.
>>48725Didn't Torcuil cast Word of Chaos and Infernius mass wounds?
>>48723>it IS Tracy's turnCan I get a quick rundown on what's going on around her?
Do you immediately get Clerical Spells of your arcane spellcasting level from one level in Theiurge, or can you choose a different Divine Spellcasting class list?
>>48729Tracy casts Arcane spells, and having a few Druid spells wouldn't hurt.
[16d20 = 200]>>48503Tracy enters the room Thez is in, (notices a lever) while Thez continues to make sure its dead
The order after that was Infernius, Fae, Trump, Thez, Torc, and Tracy.
Which, if one goes off the declared actions, mean that:
>>48516Infernius casts Mass Cure Serious Wounds
Fae doesn't appear to do anything, except comment on Football.
>>48522Trump says the holy word (my bad) which strangely has no effect.
Then infighting
It would then be Thez' turn, just before Torcuil would have the chance to either 2nd cast Cure Serious, OR say "Shadilay".
>>48728Yes. While you're getting that rundown, Thez moves to intercept along the corner from the hallway, obliterating faces.
Its a whole mishmash of assorted undead, all lumbering forward, except for some ghosts and shadows that glide along the ground. From further down the hall can still be heard a distinct "Hibbity Hooblah"
>>48729It depends
[Read more] [1d100 = 83]
Okay, maybe Thez doesn't obliterate faces
[1d20 = 12]
And her opponent's next attack is an automatic hit with a chance to crit,....
[1d20+24 = 28]>>48731>dependsDepends on what?
Tracy Sneakily moves down the hall towards the hibbiting.
Rolling to move Silently
[1d20+20 = 38][1d20+20 = 23]>>48734Asshe moves, she keeps her sense peeled
Rolling Spot and Listen
>>48734The hallway is packed with undead, she's not going anywhere.
>dependsIs the newly-Theurge a sorcerer, wizard, or cleric (or variant; bard, etc)?
>>48736>>48735>>48734You know you're in a hallway with no room to move because there are so many enemies right?
>>48737Do you need levels in Cleric to cast said Clerical spells then?
>>48739No, but each class goes about spellcasting in a different manner. They would maintain that methodology (a wizard-theurge would still memorize and component their spells, a cleric-theurge would still pray for spells, and a sorcerer-theurge would still
ordinarily Xp have their limited selection of basically innate spells).
>>48740Tracy cast Arcane Spells as an Assassin, and Divine Spells as a Blackguard.
What could she get?
>>48741Assassins cast spells as a Bard does. Blackguards do as Clerics do.
>>48742So, no? She couldn't get anymore spells?
>>48739>>48741>>48743"Hey Tracy, since we are about to be killed by mass hordes of undead, and since you went through the effort of making infernius cast that spell, and since it is
your turn, could you please be a dear and pause from your metafagging long enough to kill something? It would be greatly appreciated"
>>48745I'm waiting for the Spot check. I still don't know what's in the room.
>>48746Everything is in the room. Swing your sword and you will hit something
>>48743I'm not certain what you mean by "anymore spells".
If you mean "would she have access to more spells as a theurge/assassin/blackguard that makes julienne fries", yes. Her number of known/available spells would be limited, and I am not sure how the spellcasting would work at this moment.
>>48746The undead seem rather uniform. Identical almost. Not entirely, there's different types, but this mummy looks like that mummy, those skeletons are identical too. They're awfully evenly spaced come to think of it.
[3d20 = 22]>>48747What are these? Human skeletons?
Fug it.
Full round attack with sword on nearest thing.
>>48751>>48752Cleave gives you one extra attack per round, not Six. And the target can do a DC12 will save
>>48749You mean human warrior Skeletons? Like 1 HD?
>>48754She has Great Cleave, and I doubt any of these have 17 hit dice.
>>48752>>48751Also, wait until GM has confirmed that the attack worked at all. Sure, disruptor normally works, but so does cure mass wounds, holy word, and word of chaos
>>48755Since when has she had great cleave?
>I doubt they have 17 hit dieHow do you know that? Are you GM? Be patient and don't steam roll
>>48757Oh, the first three attacks worked fine, splintering/decimating a zombie, a skeleton, and a ghoul. Tracy would have had a chance to cleave, but there are no more targets in range with the sword. The next row of 4 (a mummy, a,... wolf man?, a frankenstein, and a shadow) hasn't advanced yet. Tracy is almost in range of the corner and Thez' position.
Meanwhile, Thez is being attacked successfully. She is bitten by a zombie, flailed on by a mummy, and gashed by a skeleton.
>>48749"These undead arent real."
>>48761I will on my turn and see what happens.
[1d20 = 18]
Snek's turn, then Infernius'
>>48762Infernius succeeds on his spot check
>>48763I don't think Torc is here.
>>48766The spell causes the procession of undead and such to dissipate in a shadowy puff that dominoes row after row as it makes its way down the hall. As it reaches the spell's perimeter, Infernius can see that they're coming from around the corner to the left, but can't see past that.
Thez, who was in the process of preparing to beat the zombie with the femur of the skeleton, looks around foolishly, and a tad disappoint.
Fae, then Trump, Thez, Torc(?) and Tracy.
>>48767Does that make the hallway clear for passage?
[1d20+16 = 20][1d20+26 = 46]>>48771In proper succession, Fae and Trumpaladin advance forth slowly nearing the end of the room but not quite to the corner. Trumpaladin detects evil and Fae spot and listen checks
[1d20+11 = 31]
I have returned.
Snek shoots an undead fucker
>mfw I just realized I've never even once applied Tracy's dexterity bonus to her Initiative rolls
>>48775I don't bother with Thez' either
>>48774>xXx_369mlgnoscopesnek_xXxAlso, on the giant constrictor stats it says "base grapple +23" des this mean snek gets a +23 bonus on grapple?
>>48780No, you add his strength bonus to that number to get his grapple bonus
>>48773They're not evil, but they don't act like their appearances. Their behavior is mostly a caricature of their "creature" type (whether zombie, or skeleton, or w/e) and they have a shadowy translucence, almost imperceivable but unmistakable upon examination. They're still whole and solid somehow, but they seem less substantial.
>>48780That's correct.
So Trump and Fae are side by side advancing. Are they closing to striking distance?
>>48782I thought the things were dispelled...
>>48781>>48782Does the 23 invlude strength though, or no.
And was there anything in the hall for snek to shoot?
>>48782Let me rethink my strategy then
>>48784Actually, I did the math, and yes, that 23 is the totality of his grapple bonus. It's his base attack bonus of +8, his size modifier of +8, and his strength modifier of +7 added together
Whoops, nevermind, I misread the post. Alright. Pretty much everyone is at/around the corner.
"This should be a piece of cake!" Thez says, darting around everyone.
>>48783Only to a limited range
>>48784Yes and yes.
[/b]POP[/b] rings out as Snek busts a cap, a skeleton down the hall takes a headshot. Though expressionless, Snek somehow looks satisfied.
[3d20 = 28]>>48786Let's have Fae Pounce on her round, and Trumpaladin dispell magic after moving forward
[16d20 = 171]
Thez does an anime-esque roaring charge, attempting an overrun. Defenders get attacks of opportunity. Rolling essentially to see how far she gets. They're spaced alternating 3/row-4/row.
>>48786Snek shakes his tail to dissapate the smoke and looks at Torc with an expresion of "I'd like to see you do that"
Torc ignores him
>>48788>1 [16d20 = 161]>>48787He was just detecting evil though,....
rolling for more attempts to stop her
[16d20 = 179]
Still going,....
>>48790I though he was away from the corner and all of the creatures had been dispelled
>>48792I apologize. Well, Trump and Fae can have attacked the advancing ones, but otherwise Thez just ran them all over and managed to run into a wall.
>>48793Did word of Chaos get cast last night?
I'm hoping no.
Also, what is everyone's alignments for when I use it
Torc: CG, Snek: CN, Infernius: CG, and that's all I know
As Thez runs down the hall, striking the multitude of opponents in a sprinting double-lariat, she manages to deftly avoid each incoming strike and with each strike from her (now that she knows they're shadow illusions) the fabrications disappear in a puff of smoke. Curious to see how long she can keep this up, she glances back in satisfaction to see how far she's progressed, and runs head-first into a wall.
Thez: Neutral
>>48796>True NeuralNot at all what I was expecting
To Trump andd Fae's left is a door, and from around the corner Fae hears someone mutter something, followed by rapid footsteps.
>>48797She was Neutral Evil, but she's transitioning as the story develops
>inb4 >>48800I thought she was Lawful Evil?
>>48801Nope, she started this boot NE. She is generally lawful in demeanor (except when eating faces), but her disposition is neutral. Over time (removing the fiendishness, other experiences, I'nis) she has trended away from direct evil. She's still capable of it, but she's less inclined.
>>48802You
Definitely said she was lawful evil. And she's a monk, so...
>>48803Actually, now I distinctly remember her saying she was glad to be Neutral Ebil the first time she watched Tracy >rape Trumpaladin.
>>48806Tracy has never raped Trumpaladin successfully
>>48803Monks don't lose their powers like Paladins do. Although she may never again advance as a Monk, since she's multiclass.
The downside is, they can't be atoned like paladins, clerics, or druids.
>>48807Keep telling yourself that.
>>48815I distinctly recall that when i first joined you were getting raped.
>>48819What movie were you watching that night?
>>48821It was
It, and Trumpaladin was not raped
>>48820Don't make me punish Tracy
Not in that way
>>48822I mean we all saw it happen
>>48823>>48824No, didn't happen. And if it did, there was no penetration
Can Tracy see what's behind that door now?
No. No. Nope. Never happened. Even if it did, there was no described penetration, so no rape
>>48830Go away you troll
>>48830He threatened to do it for the first time in
>>2027 →>>48831>implying >rape has to be penetration>>48830Can Tracy have her turn now?
>>48827Are you not interested in the spell caster who is running away?
>>48833I would, if she could open the freaking door.
>>48834I think he ran around the corner of the hallway
>>48834But he didn't go through the door, he is around the corner of the hallway
>>48832Rape definitely requires penetration. Otherwise It's just unlawful imprisonment or kidnapping, with probable battery
[1d20+20 = 36][1d20+20 = 32]>>48837Tracy pursues up to the corner
Spot, and Listen to detect danger around corner, before turning.
>>48841>All those squaresTracy's land speed is 100, right? Can she catch him?
>>48842You don't have infinite speed just cause. If you want to declare she is running, then declare she is running
>>48842If it was a straight race for speed, yes. She has to stop each time to listen which way they went tho. And its Snek's turn.
>>48843Her land speed is 40 at base +10 because mount buff, and doubled by her horseshoes.
>>48844What did Tracy do during her turn? Is she still where she was earlier?
>>48845Where are you getting that base land speed? The base land speed is 30 for most medium creatures. I don't think paladin buff applies while walking bipedaly. She took off the super shoes to don the zephyr
>>48846Yes, sorry, I keep forgetting the pic
>>48847Ponies move at 40 ft.
She's moving on all fours, using her animated claws to hold her sword.
>>48849You just pulled that out of your ass, and you've been pulling new bullshit out of your ass every single round of play
>>48850>pull that out of your assNah, ponies going at 40ft makes sense.
Torc can pull leprechauns out of his ass though
>>48850I've operated under the assumption that she was as fast as a normal pony since the beginning.
Why would she be slower?
If centaurs can move at 50, ponies should move at at least 40.
>>48851As I recall, it was 'fire them out like a garden hose'.
>>4885340 seems perfectly reasonable, especially next to her speed when Cauchemar
>>48853Because smaller creatures move more slowly. Dwarfs and halflings move at 20ft, for instance
>>48856"Unless they're crazy-haxxor monks." ^_^
>>48854He can't keep claiming new shit every single encounter
>>48856Regular ponies are medium sized. Tracy is as big as a normal pony.
>>48856Yea but tracy is a little pastel colored horse though.
>>48859A normal pony is 600 pounds. Dwarfs are medium sized and they go 20 ft
>>48860Ponies should move faster.
Ever other race gets racial abilities.
>>48861That's why I thought she'd be smol.
And dwarves are THICC-built, with short legs.
>doesn't see why this matters when the sound of something running away is the present stimuli.
Its Snek's turn, followed by Infernius, Fae, Trump, etc.
>>48862Of course, but you're taking advantage of the fact that it hasn't been specified to just declare racial abilities as convenient, be it size, speed, natural armor, language, listen and smell checks, and so forth
>>48864I thought her size was smol. I
know her speed is 40.
It makes sense. Let it go.
>>48865"Technically speaking, the best one alive."
>>48866From his position, Snek would not know anything more than what Tracy has already learned, except that whatever is running away is the first living thing the party has encountered in the temple.
>>48868Snek communicates that to Torc
"Yo guys? That thing isn't an undead"
>>48867No, because you cheat
constantly even as you enage in rules lawyering when it's in your favor.
>>48868>first living thing the party has encountered in the templeCan Tracy use her Eyes of Doom to make a gaze attack (Doom) at it while she's running?
>>48872No, it had already turned some way before Tracy made the corner. Also its not Tracy's turn.
>>48873Infernuis bull rushes after the guy.
>>48875Probaly. Could Tracy make a relf to get out the way?
>>48876Isn't he around the corner though? Wouldn't Infernius have to stop first?
>>48876Tracy has Improved Evasion and Improved Uncanny Dodge. I think she should be able to.
>>48877Sorry, but what's his movement? Each square represents 5'.
Does Infernius hit a wall? Is Tracy run over? Let's settle this by dice rolls
>>48879Those don't help under the circumstances
>>48882She could make a reflex save to avoid the bull rush.
>>48880Base i suppose.
Although i feel Minotuars should get a bonus while bull rushing.
>>48883Yes, but she could do that anyways
>>48885They get a bonus on their attack roll yes, but not to movement. Infernius would have the movement to bowl over Tracy and round the corner, but not continue to pursue until next round.
>>48889>>48888Sorry tracys faggot, Infernuis will make it up to her later.
>>48891>>48889*bull rushes after the fleshy goy*
[1d20+14 = 32]>>48884Reflex roll
>>48885Is she
targeting Tracy, or just trying to overrun her?
Fae and Trump are next, who are standing next to a door. Infernius gets hot-headed and charges down the hallway, bearing his single horn. Its a good thing there's only one, cuz otherwise Tracy would've gotten gored just now, instead of getting knocked about a bit by the buffoonish minotaur who isn't watching where he's going.
>>48894Alright, Fae's speed with the Bracers is 160 ft in a charge, which because of the Pounce special attack lets her do a full round attack at the end of it. If she's turning a corner that should slow her down quite a bit, but not entirely I think. If she can grapple in a pounce, then Grapple. If she cannot, then full round attack if she makes it
>>48893Im trying to chase down the guy running away.
>>48895Fae could only charge up to Infernius' position, unless she's pouncing on
him.
>>48897Could she make a dexterity check to turn the corner and continue the charge, with maybe 30 or 50 feet taken off her possible 160, and slam into something/someone if she fails?
>>48896Give Tracy some time, she's faster and has the Trap sense.
>>48898You need a feat for that.
Thez meanwhile, has almost fully regained her senses, still clutching a large lump on her head with both hands. "Hey guys, there's a staircase over here."
>>48897Either way, Trumpaladin will run to the end of the hall, to try to catch up. Withdraw rope of entanglement from the tie at the end of it
>>48899And what feat is that, pray tell? Seems to me like she could jump on the wall and bounce off, and succeed or fail at the task depending on the dice roll
>>48901>stairs"Cool, anyone wanna go up?"
Torc realizes only sSnke and Thez are nearby
"Oh"
I guess it's plausible that the magic caster used ghost sounds to make it seem like he escaped down a different path
>>48902End of the hallway, past the corner. The big T on the map.
>>48903Down
>>48905"Down, my bad. Thez since the others are doing fuck knows what you wanna investigate?"
>>48901While charging? Tracy had to wait at the corner even at only her base speed.
The feet to turn while Running is Fleet of Foot. Requires the Run feat though.
>>48908She charging not running, and you could have done the same if you asked for a dice roll
>>48906>>48908I see. Then move forward and turn the corner in a move action at adjusted speed of 80ft
>>48906Will Tracy have to Tumble through Fae and Infernius to get ahead now? She'll go the other direction if there isn't room for her to move.
>>48907"Might as well, it looks like they're going to be busy."
>>48911Yes. Thez proceeds carefully down the staircase, vanishing into thin air as she does so (hiding in plain sight cuz shadows)
>>48912Fuck it, then. I'm not slowing down.
Tracy changes her mind and decides to follow Thez.
>>48911I thought that corner was where everyone was?
>>48913Aren't you at the corner?
>>48912Torc trys riding Mr. Snek towards the staircase
[1d20+2 = 8]
>>48914Yes, but now she's got Fae and Infernius on top of her, trying to scramble around the corner, climbing over eachother.
Tracy will go the other direction.
>>48916But the T on the map is at that corner. It's the same direction