RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.
Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....
This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1160 replies and 128 files omitted.
>>48097That reminds me. Part of the reason that enemies are always coming to you (the party) is because exploration has been less feasible. The Tower is slow AF, and going on foot or flying/running on air is exhausting and inefficient. Additionally, this particular set of encounters (the pyramid etc.) is a consequence of escaping Court City without burning it to the ground desu. Lastly, its my job to find a way to rob the party of any peace that I can, and I shall do my duty.
>>48100Frankly I don't recall a headband. Could you remind me?
>>48085Embrace the hax
>>48096I should be around for the rest of the day
>>48101She got a headband of intellect in that chest before the party left to find Infernius
(I was greedy and asked for an ebin headband, but ebin because that's too haxx). I just never asked what the Int bonus was (+2, +4, or +6), because I've been a massive idiot and haven't been applying her Int bonus to Search checks and whatnot.
Also, how much glass did she collect? The hole in the temple is big enough for Tracy to walk through at full size, so there had to be a lot of shards.
>>48105Nope, its like safety glass, tiny pebbles. And I'm not just saying that cuz I don't want to worry about what Tracy would do with ebin glass pieces.
>>48098Well exploration should be easier now cause airship.
Actually, I think Torc is the most traveled of the party.
>>48106>I don't want to worry about what Tracy would do with ebin glass piecesGlue the pieces together to make an ebin glass sword, of course, like in Skyrim.
I guess I'll just have her blow another whole in the temple later...
*collects tiny pebbles in sack*
>>48107>airshipPrecisely. By the way, Torcuil had previously disengaged the faulty cannon from the mechanism on the ship. There's only one volley remaining though.
>>48109Oh so I could still fire volleys, okay.
How does it reload?
>>48110By turning the mechanism. The ejection, reloading, and firing of the cannons is all mechanically integrated to the hand-crank. It was designed so that a person could obliterate any aggressors without putting their drink down.
>>48111And that means we're almost out of shells...
I take it gnomes have the power to make more?
>>48108Glass hammer could be useful too though.
>>48114*meticulously gathers pebbles into one giant sack*
Also, the reason that the airship cannons are the only thing that can damage the glassteel is because A: the walls are thick AF, and B. because they fire at a much higher velocity than standard cannons or the employed magics. Glassteel is remarkably temperature-resilient, quickly diffusing any extreme irregularities.
Tl;dr You gotta use armor piercing rounds.
>>48114Axes or maces would be the easiest to make, given the size of the particles.
>>48116>you gotta use armor peircingWhat about armor peircing, that explode?
HEIAP >>48117Talk to the Gnomes
>>48108It might work as a Maquahuitl
>>48116We have some Sovereign Glue, so I guess a glassteel mace or hammer could be made over the course of a couple days.
Would the
Make Whole Spell be able to fuse particles together?
Also, Since it's only half as heavy as steel, could Tracy make a Yuge-sized hammer and still wield it without penalty?
>>48118You mean like those Mayan sword-clubs?
>>48119>Make WholeGood thinking, but not in this case. The damage results in both warping and melting of the glass, in addition to being reduced to fine pieces.
>>48122You need ebola to Kno de wey
>>48121Well, I'll have Tracy make the hammer first. Then I'll see if she can use that to break other chuncks off later on.
How long has this Dimensional Lock been set? It should last at least 2 weeks.
>>481241 day per caster level, so 16 days total. I'd say its probably been 5 days, without looking back.
I've been here, if anyone's wondering
>>48125>five daysIt was set at night, then we had the day with the Pirates, and then the day it was penetrated and the mummies fought
>>48128Didn't you go through a period where you were repairing the city and whatnot?
>>48130I don't believe so. I cannot imagine prioritizing repairs over destroying the phylacteries of three lichs
>>48131So the town is still destroyed?
>>48131Yeah, you would never do that
>>48132The only significant damage to the Port was at the main gate. The undead focused on attacking the ppl, not the structures.
>>48132The town is less damaged than it was in the demonic invasion since the brothel was the only area inside of the town that was firmly penetrated, and since fires were not started
Alright.
Let's just wait for Infernius.
How thick are the walls of the temple?
>>48139What are you thinking? e_e
>>48141I'm gonna guess, a lot of them.
Anyone want another hole for entry?
>>48142Svae it for later. I might want to target the edge of the hole, to see if bigger chunks could come off.
>>48143Yeah I was kinda thinking that too
>>48141Plenty. More than can be carried effectively by one person (or pony).
>>48145Tracy dumps the sacks off gravel in her bag of holding and saddlebags,m and makes rounds to her room as she waits for Infernius to arrive.
Oh hush, the hole isn't really that big. Tracy's faggottry is just taking the "16 feet" mention to seriously
>>48149Why you exaggerate even things like carrying capacity?
>>48150>A light load for a cauchemar is up to 612 pounds; a medium load, 613–1,224 pounds; and a heavy load, 1,225–1,840 pounds.It's the same reason why she's able to move at full speed while carrying Trumpaladin in heavy armor.
>>48153She ain't a cauchenar at at will
>not appreciating smug Daybreaker pics
>>48154Let GM decide when she is and isn't.
>>48156It was already decided. Months ago. You just refuse to acknowledge it
>>48157Then why are you deleting it so incessantly?
>>48156Because you go beyond established limits incessantly
>>48159It's not your place to enforce rules of this game.
And since when is she not able to transform on her own? She's only at full-power when ridden, but she can still transform.
>>48160She's never been able to transform into a
31 strength Cauchemar on her own
>>48160>Not your place to enforce rulesIt's not your place to constantly willfully break them
>>48161Carrying capacity is not all about strength.
And regardless, that doesn't excuse you deleting things on your own accord.
>>48163>>48161Even if she were only as strong as a heavy warhorse, she could still drag 4,500 pounds.
And why do you care so much about what she can carry?
>>48164She doesn't have a literal ton of carry capacity and you are not excused for ignoring the limits previously established
>>48166>limits previously establishedWhat limits are you referring to? How were they worded?
I don't need your permission every time she does something.
>>48163Actually, that's kind of Tracy's gimmick by now
>>48164Technically, it is in a comparable manner
>>48165Wut? No.
Wait, no, that's correct.
>>48165Because it's enough that you're evidently being allowed to craft out of glass steel and a very large quantity of it at that, even though it's not a listed weapon making material
>>48170It's listed in other publications. I know it's weight and hardness.
If she's even as big as a regular horse, she'd be able to carry most of it back by herself.
>>48168It's Tracy's faggot's gimic
>>48167When there's no rules to it it ceases to be a game at all. There's no challenge or strategy or thought to it, just making up new superpowers every hour
>>48171Then you don't need cauchemar strength now do you?
\r
>>48172You don't decide the rules, so stop acting like you're in charge.
This isn't D&D.
>>48173>calicheWut?
>>48174You're not in charge either faggot
>>48170Neither is "Mythrium", which is what Sugoito is made of,....
>>48171Its not a question of weight, its a question of volume. I suppose it could all fit in the broom closet tho.
>>48172What he means - I assume, cuz its all I'll allow - is that when in full Cauchemar form, Tracy would be able to
carry 1400lbs (including Trump), or
drag 4200 lbs (with NO carried weight).
In Heavy Warhorse form (agitated/combat) she has appropriate weight limits and such (I'll look it up later), and likewise for base pony form.
Warhorse form is like a berserk rage though, and can't be maintained for a duration.
The penalties for a heavy load are pretty extensive though
>>48175I'm not the one who's censoring other players' comments and acting like he's enforcing the rules of the game.
>>48177She can heal exhaustion in the Entertron, can't she? She's just staying productive while Infernius prays or whatever.
>>48176I thought Suigoto was Ademantium?
>>48178Jesus Christ you could do everything you say you want to just by lowering the airship next to the hole and loading it on the airship
Your imagined powers have seriously harmed your problem solving abilities
>>48176I would've liked to make a Shatterspike, if I could figure out how to shape this material.
>>48180I thought of that, but I figured it'd take longer.
>>48176>Warhorse formWait, do you mean the hybrid form where she's just a blue horse, or the form where she has a regular nightmare's abilities?
>>48183How many forms does she have? As I recall:
Pony form
Flaming Warhorse form
Cauchemar form
>>48184I put 17 ranks into Control Shape so she could transform at will and have a hybrid shape. I've been operating under the assumption that it was:
>pony form>Warhorse form>Cauchemar form (nerfed stats)>Cauchemar form (complete stats) >>48185That's way too confusing. I'm of the mind that since she's had the (((essence))) extracted from her, she loses the nerfed Cauchemar form. She can still catch fire in Warhorse form if she wants tho.
>>48185Shit, it may have been 9 ranks, let me find my sheet..
>>48186I've been treating her ability like unnatural lycanthropy thus far.
>she's had the (((essence))) extracted from herWhen did that happen?
>>48187The uhm,... lewd display in the stadium with Trump and Fae,....
>>48186>She can still catch fire in Warhorse form if she wants tho.Does she still have the projectile smoke cone?
>>48188Wait, that had consequences?
Reeeeeeee!Well shoot, now I've got to find new essence...
>>48189Yes and she can direct it, but it doesn't conceal her normally.
>>48190Haven't you noticed that lewd has the
most consequences ITT?
>>48188What do those ranks in Control Shape account for then?
>>48191>it doesn't conceal her normallyWhat's the difference in concealment?
>>48190I wish she hadn't lost Soros's leg to the Tarrasque.. Now I have to find another fiend for her to eat...
>Look up D&D Nightmares
>Pictures like this pop up
Reeee! Why can't I look up monsters without being sexually aroused
>>48192Being able to still go Warhorse form.
>>48193Before, the smoke naturally occurred around her granting concealment at 5' and 10' (partial/full), but she could also blow smoke at an enemy. Now she can only blow it at the enemy (meaning, she could partially/totally conceal herself from 1-2 opponents, but not all those around her in a circumference). Unless full Cauchemar
>>48195Nightmares are really well-built monsters. They're bred for strength and vigor.
>>48196... So she can't use it to pull a Korak and shoot bolts/shurikens from concealment anymore?
>>48195Nightmare is for rough sexual
>>48197 She could if she blew at the target first. You don't have to have concealment from
everyone to do a sneak attack, just the victim.
*finishes carrying glass*
>>48198Alright. The cone lasts a round, so it should be able to work.
I'll just carry a bunch of smokebombs and drop them all over the place from now on.
>>48199Actually, that darkness kunai thing was brilliant
>>48200She can see through smoke, but the Darkness obscures even her darkvision, so it's ony good for getaway's, unless I have her take Blindfight..
Dropping an object is a free action, and smokebombs aren't expensive.
>>48201Is lighting a smokebomb a swift action or a standard action?
>>48196How is this anything other than letting every single attack in all combat be a sneak attack with a free action?
>>48206Its only usable once/round. Best case scenario. she gets an additional sneak attack.
>>48207That's an additional at least one sneak attack every single round though.
The boots of the wolf only let you flank once per encounter, and the cape presumably only lets you execute the manuever when you first draw the pistols, so about once per encounter. But this is 9d6 extra damage
every single round of any encounter. 30+ additional damage every single round. For free. With no strategy, just using haxx to exploit a class feature to the etreme.
>>48208Smite evil only gives 17 damage per attack, less than half sneak attack damage. And that's limited to 4 uses a day
>>48205... shit, I didn't think of that..
How does Ponimaru light his?
>>48201On second thought, that'd look dumb and be retarded...
>>48206With a ring of Invisibility, you could Sneak Attack as many times as you wanted.
>>48209It's great for killing fiends and undead though.
Can't Sneak Attack the undead at all...
>>48207I could ask for an additional 9d6 damage on the first attack in every single round of combat... But what would be the point? You look at an enemy and *poof* they're dead. No strategy, no clever moves. No real chance of dying, being defeated and losing. No sense of accomplishment up winning. No comparing your results to people in other campaigns. Just attack an enemy, and they're dead. Why fight enemies at all?
>>48211Invisibility spell ends when you attack an enemy
>>48213>Why fight enemies at all?To steal their loot, of course.
Thieves ftw
>>48214And that's another thing. What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal? You lose all of the Christmas Morning excitement
>>48215Because, you know what you're getting with crafting.
The excitement is getting something you didn't even think about, but can use all the same
What happens to a party memeber's dead body when they reappear in the enteron?
E.G: Trump bleeds out and revives. Does his body *poof* into smoke just leaving gear, or does it stay there?
>>48215The good shit doesn't get made quickly. Thez has been waiting since she became hooman (ish) again to unveil her Amulet of Natural Armor. Fuggin' DAYS
>>48215>What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal?The thrill of stealing things, and stabbing enemies.
Also, craft takes weeks, while stabbing is a standard action. Rogues don't have magick either.
>>48219There's no thrill of stabbing or stealing if there's no challenge to it and no need for strategy
>>48217It either gets eaten by monsters, or liquidated by the rest of the party.
>>48220Quantity.
If there's no challenge, keep doing it until you've got moar shekels than you can count. Then spend the shekels on cool stuff that makes it more efficient to kill more people and steal more stuff. Acquire wealth and power.
>>48221Oh no, if the bodies stay I have an idea.
>>48222That entirely eliminates an entire pillar of the game by making combat meaningless except as money farming. Like why the hell not just lend out money at interest if that is your goal?
You're killing the fun by cheating everything
>>48217That's tricky, and its not as simple as you might think. I'd answer more fully, but no spoilers. ^_^
>>48224Don't get robbed again myah,....
>>48224I like stabbing things.
The more efficiently I stab, the more I
can stab.
>You're killing the funYou don't have to stab if it's not any fun for you.
>>48224>Like why the hell not just lend out money at interestNobody to lend to, and I'd rather spend it on better swag.
>>48226Then why do you need haxx like free-action every-round smoke screen
>>48227What swag? All swag is combat based, but the cheats you use for combat just makes it meaningless
>>48228I'm sure there will come a point where we can spend money.
The whole Port is still almost broke btw. We still need to get back the shekels that were stolen.
>>48228>every-round smoke screenMore efficient stabbing.
[1d20+15 = 16]>>48225but I had a great idea
In the meantime, Torc decides to step back into hole in the temple while Mr. Snek sneks snek-ily.
Rolling for an archtecture check for hidden shit
>>48229Yeah, but why destroy the entire combat pillar of the game when we can have both loot and fun combat?
>>48230>1Welp, tonight is off to such a
great fucking start
>>48230>15How'd you get 15 in a Knowledge skill as a sorceror? I've been trying to rank-up in Planes knowledge, but i can still only get 8 ranks.
>>48231>destroy the entire combat pillar of the gameRogues don't play fair.
You met Korak, right? He'd sneak attack with both of his gunz.
>>48235Yay! Infernius is here.
Now we can finally get to the crawl.
>>48234You're confusing the player with the character. Players should play fair. And that cloak was only effective once per encounter unless he could duplicate the move
>>48233I have 12 ranks, extra 3 with int
>>48234Now Torc snek attacks with the guns.
[2d12 = 4]>>48235Its true tho
>>48230And Torcuil gashes his leg open on broken glass while entering the temple.
>>48237The cloak gives increasing concealment since the start of the encounter.
>>48238Can we advance knowledge ranks even if we don't have the skill?
I want to advance planes knowledge to become a Agent Retriever.
>>48239Man, thats a real fucked up
knowledge check
>>48241You failed to know where you were stepping.
>>48235Have him come to the door so we can start crawling.
>>48239You can't use it to hide the guns every single round though, just when you initially draw them
>>48244*infernuis crawls to the pyramid*
>>48244He's gonna walk in on Torc hopping around on one leg shouting assorted curses about Kefka's mother
>>48246Thats Infernuis pone form except hes a stallion.
>>48245That's not how the robe works.
Thieves (rogues and Bards) can also use Sleight of Hand checks to conceal their weapons.
With a dagger and a good check, you can Sneak Attack a character right in front of you.
>>48248"You haven't an arm, ya haven't a leg, Haroo! Haroo!
>>48250Not every single round of every encounter
[1d20 = 9]>>48250Sneak attack boop on tracy
[1d20+22 = 24]>>48252Reeee! Don't boop my pony!
Sneak attack boop on Thez
>>48241>4 dmgWhat was I supposed to do? Have him have an aneurysm?
And Thez <whoooof> appears on scene,... with an unusual thickness to her skin. Its as though she's grown scales over her normal skin, aesthetically different (appearance-wise) but functionally the same as her previous Infernal appearance.
Also Infernius crawls on the scene to be a smartass.
>>48252>>48253>all these shitty rollsIt's gonna be a long night
[16d20 = 148]
Thez gets mad.
T> Flurry of Boops
>>48258Does... she fumble after the first 1 or does she get in the second critical boop?
It appears that everyone has been machine-gun booped, including a critical boop, before Thez rolled a fail.
Fuzzy spooder ring bonuses, what are they again?>>48254"Fucking son o' a whore."
Torc then notices Infernius crawling in
"Could you help me"
>>48258"MY NOSE"
>>48259No, the fail eliminates any further attacks.
Everyone was booped tho.
>>48260Does she have that multiple opponent attack feat? Who received critical boopage?
>>48251>Not every single round of every encounterWhere does it say you can't? The robe''s concealment increaeses as the the encounter progresses too. A normal cloak or robe gives you a +4 bonus on Sleight of Hand checks.
So long as you conceal your weapon, your enemy can't properly defend themselves, and are thus denied their dexterity bonus to AC, making them susceptible to Sneak Attacks.
>>48263I vote snek or Infernius gets the critical
[1d20 = 9]>>48261Boops meme magician
*casts heal moderate wounds*
>>48266>9We aren't gonna get shit done at this rate
>>48266>minorDude, its 4 dmg
>>48265Technically, Trump should get it cuz she booped him first (cuz he booped her first) but she likes Infernius better, and would have given him the critical boop. Its not a bad thing.
[1d20+26 = 36]
Tracy goes ahead, making sure to check for traps so the party doesn't get killed.
Search check to look for traps and hidden doors.
Inferius, could you cast Hide From Undead?
[1d20 = 6]>>48264Yeah, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. I'm too busy booping to write a damned brief on the issue though
>>48266>Healing boopWhy didn't I think of that?
>>48265But snek has a different nose, so do you just boop him normally?
>>48267Rolling to Grab Tracy by the pussy, see if that gives a good roll
[1d20+16 = 27]
[1d20+26 = 41]
Trumpaladin detects Evil
Fae: Spot and Listen Check
>>48271Staph. Let Tracy go first. She has the stealth and trap sense.
>>48272
Going ahead then, which way is Tracy going?
>>48271>detect evilThe whole place, but nothing immediate from his current position.
>>48273I ain't going ahead. This is from the entrance
>>48268>4 dmgThat's fucking 7% of Torc's health
Does Snek gtt any snek skill points or no? I'm finishing up my char sheets so I'm trying to figure out all my item bonus and shite
>>48274I vote we go right
[1d20+24 = 38]>>48272Why was this deleted?
>>48274The right path.
Rolling to move Silently.
>>48277>>48274I vote Right, and door number 2
>>48277He can have 20 points to start with. At 1st he'll get the "1st level" remainder. No maxxing.
[1d20 = 6]>>48268*pinches thez's ass*
>>48269*casts protection from undead or whatever*
>>48279So if going down the hallway, the door on the left?
[1d16 = 13][1d20+26 = 31]>>48282To the place with stairs and where the mummy room was located, but the next door
Trumpaladin follows Tracy with Fae - way behind Tracy
Spot and listen check
>>48281Good, cast it on everyone.
So long as we don't attack, undead can't see, hear, or smell us, but they can still sense circumstantial shit, so no horsing around.
>>48282Is the door closed?
>>48281Hand slap-slap-slap "Stahp!"
>>48284The only door that's opened is the Mummy door.
>>48280That works, thanks again GM
[1d20+23 = 25]>>48285So, Tracy would have to open the door to see what's on the other side?
Search check to examine the door to see if it'd creak when opened.
[1d20+27 = 43]>>48291Also, trap sense because why not.
Do I add the +4 to the modifier when using Search to look for traps?
>>48291Wanna do a detect evil on the closed door first?
>>48293That'd take 3 rounds to get anything useful.
>>48294Do we not have 18 seconds to spare?
>>48290"Thez arousing all the time,it dont matter what form she take."
>>48296Yeah, but we can tell the number of enemies, direction, and relative strength of enemies at least near the door before opening it
>>48297"But... Scales? Lizards aren't sexy"
>>48297Infernius, when your character gets there, could you cast Disrupting weapon on Tracy's sword, so she can actually damage all these zombies? Sneak Attack can't do shit to them.
[1d20+21 = 39]>>48298Wait for the Roll to resolve.
Listen check, to detect anything on the other side of the door.
>>48299*casts disrupting weapon*
>>48288>blush>>48298Subjective, but scales = rough sex
>>48300Shuffling noises, but nothing particularly onerous.
>>48298"Then why you want to fuck dragon?"
>>48303"That can transform. So not while it's a dragon"