NO HOMO
This begins yet another edition of the Game thread, this time extra sweet 'cuz Norfilly won't stop being so damn cute.
The party has successfully felled the Terrasque, removed the head from the Nerd, watched as George Soros got his fool head blown off and was BTFO yet again (how WILL he live down the infamy?) and now ventures off to collect sticks, or build telescopes, or whatever it is they plan to do now that there's a new thread that isn't over 1.1k posts.
There is now an official bath-house, and characters seem quite taken by it both in spite of and to troll any detractors who would otherwise throw salt in our fun.
This is an ongoing RPG thread geared toward D&D-esque adventuring, shitposting, funposting, bantz, shitposting, funposting, and murder.
Feel free to join! The bathwater (and blood) is nice.
800 replies and 69 files omitted.
>>20080You know, all your sneaking around and shiesty shit could easily be mitigated by Tracy declaring in one way or another "Hey, in case you didn't know, I may have to sneak around and do some sheisty shit from time to time, but don't worry, you'll all be better off for it"
>>20077Ikr, but now I remember how hard wood working is
>>20080>vow of silenceDon't give me any ideas
>>20082Belt-sander or table-grinder
>>20078Infernius isn't dumb enough to piss-off Tracy when she's a pin's drop away from making Chinese Medicine out of his horn,
unless he actually is, idk.Besides, I don't intend to cause any explict ruckus among the lawful residents of Port Barry.
>>20081I could've sworn I had her say something that months ago, but Trumpaladin just wouldn't have any of it..
Control freak...
>>20081As I said, my model for Trump good is Anerican foreign policy under Republican presidents, like Saint Reagan. Assassinations, coups, propping dictators, and giving money to Contras and Mujahadeen are entirely within the realm of acceptable behaviors. But they still need to be justified by being necessary to stop some larger evil
>>20086I'm sure you were less explicit
>>20087Port Barry doesn't even have a government: it's an ancap paradise, slavery and all. You don't need to self-appoint as some kind of detective.
Just stop "investigating", and there won't be anything for him to worry about.
>>20088Perhaps, but I still wasn't sure what I was doing.
>>20086>inb4 GrappleWe're expanding our domain of protection, so be forewarned
>>20089>To avoid executing the duties of an Emperor, don't be an EmperorYour post makes no sense to me
I've finally done it!!
(FUCK YEAH!!!!)
>>20089Like it sounds like what you are saying is "don't try to save people goyim, go back to sleep." That's not persuasive
>>20084Actually, just a good piece of sandpaper would go a long way for this
>I'm just ignoiing the fighting
>>20092Focus on becoming emperor first: it's generally a bad idea to act like you're in charge before you actually are, because that breeds conflict, especially in midst of a recent a recent power vacuume. Better to call your forces a factional army with a defined cause and Port Barry as their base, than to claim actual authority as a governing police force. Paladins are archytypical "crusaders", so it's better to declare the goal to take the Emperor's citadel first and then draw in associates of all kind: a Paladin cannot willingly reach out to evil or chaotic associates, but nothing forbids them from assembling diverse forces under a mutual flag.
tl;Dr: stop trying to be the police and paint yourself a banner that forces of all allignments can assemble under.
>>20094M8, that statue will take up half the city and take months to carve with your low-level stone-manipulating spell. Awesome meme though.
>>20097No no, let him. It will more fun that way
for me
>>20095No. I'm saying stop trying to get in the way of muh schemes.
>>20098thanks im gonna do a bit more to it then ill be finished for real.
>>20099I figured it would be very, very, very likely for foreign forces to attack and stomp us if the local narcicist actually tried to crown himself baron or something.
>>20102Why, whatever would give you that impression,... I mean I personally had never thought of such a scenario,... at all,... ever
SHHHHHH
>>20097Like, that whole post is literally exactly everything I've been doing. It's Inferius who wants to make the police force. Trumpaladin would only focus on smaller targets much later.
The reason Tracy is under suspicion isn't because she's a villain - she'd have to stand in line for smiting like every one else. It's because she makes pretensions of being Trumpaladin's waifu, and more importantly, because she is carrying Trumpaladin's child, who may or may not be the anti-Christ. Trumpaladin wants his waifu and the mother of his child to be worthy of the role. That's why she falls under more suspicion
\r
>tfw Tracy and Trump's faggots would have gotten into a fist fight by this point if we whee plailying in person
>>20103>>20102I'm going to redirect everyone to
>>20104 again. If you've read it, read it again. It's the most important post
>>20104I can maintain surface-level honor, if you don't needlessly do too much deep "investigation".
Just have your character focus on rallying spirits for his crusade before you go too far in presiding over the ongoings of the areas surrounding Port Barry. It's a neutral city: they won't like being told what to do at first, even if they do cooperate.
>>20107I get that m8. I'm just using the bantz as cautionary foreshadowing. ^_^
I can't say that the next session is going to be terribly developmental as far as the story is concerned, and I'll be letting the players do the lion's share of determining what is explored and who goes where and all that. My main focus as far as sussing out the next few legs of the campaign is determining exactly how many factions were in some way connected to and active within the 'empire', and how they will respond to the news that the Emperor
and his pet are dead, what does that mean for each particular group, and how they will respond to news and the increasing presence of the party.
>>20108On this note, he AND the party have done an exceptional job of being an inspirational presence, and have thus had little difficulty in gaining followers and participants. However, Port Barry has been almost the exclusive witness and beneficiary to the party's actions; one would be operating foolishly to assume that everyone will respond in kind.
>>20110>inspirational presence... Even Tracy?
>>20110GM, can we have Torc go on a seperate path for a while bcause I'm gonna be busy as hell for a while
>>20112Side quests sound like a good idea to me too.
>>20113thats why i want to help with finding a druid.
>>20112>>20113Yes of course. I figured thats where this was trending, for the immediate future, and everyone appears to be settling in on a particular pursuit/agenda. Plus, that will make it easier for me to provide individual challenges that don't involve adding more hit dice to creatures, or just adding more creatures.
The nerd fight went well, but largely because he underestimated the party. If he had seen the party as a threat, he'd have operated far differently, and there would be alot more craters and grease-spots
>>20114It'd be a cool way to acquire special items/weapons too.
>>20110>Port Barry is NeutralDid you mean to say "was"? It is now Athens after the Persain Wars, or America at the turn of the 20th Century. It is ready to take on glory.
Trumpaladin's child is more important than the crusade or the image. For that, more than mere appearance is essential.
There doesn't have to be actual honor, the targets just have to be assholes. That's literally the only request. I'm sure there are plenty
>>20109>>20110>how they respond to the death of KefkaMy intuition says that most will want to opperate as independent city states, while a few go on conquests, and pirate and bandit lords pop up. But my intuition also says that at least one will want some sort of protectorate relationship with the capital and whoever controls it, especially if there is no vast tribute, and especially if there is an agreement of military protection and commerce in exchange.
>no one will no the partyThey will know who killed Kefja and the Tarrasque. That will mean something to them. If they feared and were subdued by him and the Terrasque, they ought to respect whoever could slay him.
\r
>>20116im ready to go when you are.
Hold on, I'm gonna kill Cortana FOR GOOD
>>20119Insert her into the game
so I can harvest rare items from her body.
>>20120im goint to inject her into my brain.
>>20117>They will know who killed Kefja and the Tarrasque.Just wait for the countless imposters who'll inevitably show up.
>>20124Then help kill them Goddamn it!
>>20125They'll try to rip off your speeches too, I bet.
>>20126I'll kill them myself then
>>20127ill grapple there heads in.
>>20120Kek. She isn't fully dead, but she is sealed away (not unlike the Terrasque)
>>20124There you go, giving me ideas again
>>20129Fuck it, I'll abandon Plan A and do all of this the hard way
>>20131? I'm not sure I follow. I was talking about Cortana (except the ideas re: false claims of being Kefka's demise)
>>20132That was more of a general statement than a reaction to that specific post
>>20134Protip: abandon intuition.
>>20135Then abandon your goddamn flow charts and old plans
Curious, are these discussions of Druids, taking the Capital, etc. being discussed IN character? Not opposed, but there has been some in and out of character comments that leave me wondering.
>>20136I was trying to get the whole group together on a plot, finally work out differences, then the whole thing blew up like a fucking hand grenade. And why the fuck does he have to be so rude?
>MFW I won't be around to participate in or see where this goes
>>20140And the group will get together and work towards a/that plot, I will require it (through obstacle and context). However, a little bit of side-questing might also be in order, both to contribute to group cohesion and to allow characters to develop a tad further. Several players have expressed a desire to develop/change the course of their characters, and while I could easily <poof> "IT IS SO", I'm growing increasingly disdainful of that sort of practice. For example, the only character currently available who can teach Infernius Two Weapon Fighting is Thez, which means he'll have to spend a few sessions getting beat up. ^_^
Now that the map has been finalized, I have more room to develop shit in. The artifacts ON the map are not the ONLY places or things of concern, that's just the baseline that is being used. The Capital is far to the north of Cardashil, and there are several nation-states to interact with before arriving there, and that's without diverting toward Sparintar or Krenshall-blur-blur-blur.
>>20089>>20091wtf is going on?
>>20156Why do posts keep switching order?
Thank you for that
I have IRL problems that are getting to me.
Oh well, back to the plans I made four weeks ago before the Soros battle
>>20156They are in order, as best as I can tell
>>20159They weren't, earlier.
RESURRECTING KORAK. That's what I should do!
>>20161>>20162We could geas him.
Trump's faggot, Y U make me type all that out if U just delet it?!
>>20163I was thinking about that. The problem is that GM won't let me have that power. Maybe Inferius does, since his clerical domains were never firmly established.
>>20164I saved it all in screenshot and word document
>>20162We apparently can't use the army we've been building for a month, so we need to go someplace that is a path of least resistance. Port Barry has got to be trading with
someone, so hopefully they would let us through the front door. Korak knows the sea well, although he did suggest he couldn't be of much help in pointing out good port towns, so maybe it's not as good of an idea as I thought.
I'm thinking maybe we should just Leroy Jenkins the capital anyways
>>20161>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
GM, do I get bonuses if my homemade die has been cured with some of my blood?
>>20163That would work now that his hat is off to you.
Ha!>>20166Infernius and Torcuil both can use Geas. And who said you can't use the army you've been building for a month? As far as trade is concerned, its slowly picking back up and is about to take off, but the city is largely self-sufficient.
>>20169:O
>>20220Did I miss something?
>>20221Yeah, like ~20 posts got deleted, raving about the moral relevance of abortion. Better it not be brought up again though.
Are side quests still on the table though?
>>20221>Tourcil and Inferius can do it, but you can'treeeeee
Did the the people of Port Barry ever actually get a clear shot of Tracy in her nightmare form? I've been semi-depending on Tracy's smoke granting total concealment against creatures more then 10 feet away (I imagined that last attack would've looked like a lightning bolt shooting out of a dark cloud), but now I'm not so sure about it... This could impact how my assassination projects work in the future...
Also, what class is Lenos? I guessed Loremaster, but idk.
>>20223I hope
>>20221Yeah, saw blades hurt. But at least I'm fine now
>>20224Haha, I ain't doing it
>>20225When you attacked Soros you were in nightmare form, and this would have been witnessed by Sechs and the entire Port Barry Army
>>20227Yeah, but the smoke cloud should've obscured her form at 10 or more feet.
I just want to know just how much of her they actually saw.
>>20229Well, the golden lady and the party saw you at more than 10 feet, and you were charging for part of it, so you likely outran your cloud at some point. The archers of the Port Barty militia were mentioned as being "in a ring," which suggests that they were in the seating area facing the field. So there would have been 20 people in the seating area in a sort of ring surrounding the scene from every angle. The seating areas are literally designed to allow for the best view of action in the field possible.
My guess is that between the 20 of them they saw enough to look into their magic creature books and say, "that thing was probably a nightmare." And if they don't have magical creature books, I'm sure at least one of the thousand people they tell the story of the Golden Lady and Soros's return would have thought to look up similar creatures in their magical creature book.
\r
The party would've known who she was so that doesn't really matter, and I figured the Golden Lady had some kind of omniscient recognition of her. I just want to know how much they were able to actually make out through a 15-foot cloud.
Either way, I'll wait for GM's clarification before I complete this section of the chart.
>>20230>implying that our army can read.
>>20232The Book of Magic Creatures has a lot of pictures
>>20233My isp changed my ip, could you gibe flag?
>>20232Also this.
>>20233It's highly unlikely that the average person would have a book illustrating the local wildlife of Shadowfell, but I guess I see your point.
>>20235Almost the first thing we did was build a Library in the town and transferred some books. And this is definitely the kind of story that is repeated. I don't think you can expect to be lucky every time
>>20236When did we build that?
>>20237Same time as the stadium. Because Tourcil likes books
>>20238Could you post make port barry great again 1&2? so i can get a refresher on all the cool shit we built.
>>20239I think that
>>5761 →,
>>6007 →,
>>10694 →,
>>10794 → are the most relevant
>>20240You did that all in three weeks?
>>20226Yeah, I really do want to go on a journey to find some hippies.
>>20241I was surprised too. The first set happens between the time the treasure is obtained and the Second Soros fight, while the second part happens between the second Soros fight and Korak. GM said it's more or less complete in full by now
>>20242Just be available when we assault the Court City. I guess I have a unicorn to court, a city to rile, some seige engines and ships to commission, and some of Korak's men to revive
\r
>>20242Me help track ziggys!!
>>20238>I had personally forgot about the libraryWhat do we want Torc's squad to make?
Morters? Trebuchets? Ballistias?
>>20246>mortars, ballistas, or trebuchetsYes
I'll do some magic to secure funding for the base materials, while you recruit nerds
>>20246Id say a good mix all available siege weapons. Can you get your guys to research cannons for ship battles?
>>20246What about arcane research? You could lead a term of mage scientists/mages to discover spells and techniques to empower other factions.
>>20249Also, alchemy research sounds suitable for librarians too.
>>20245Yeah.
I also want to harvest mutagens from monsters and find gear components, like in The Witcher.
>>20249>>20246Ok torculi form here foward you are promoted to lieutenant, and head of Research(technological and Magical) the Gestapo.
>>20251Gm Doesn't know witcher
>>20253It's one of my favorite games ever.
It's probably a good idea to have a diplomatic sortie to the capital, to see exactly what we're dealing with. Will we be greated with open arms as liberators? A city in civil war? Closed gates to a walled city? An army? Better to answer those questions before arriving when our intentions will be more clear to those inside.
I think I'll need Kefka's head though. You know, to price we killed him.
>>20254mine to even though ive just recently got wild hunt and dont own the other 2 [s/]
>>20257shit sorry my brain os a bit fuzzy right now, ive been up for awhile[s/]
>tfw having a spy and assassin would be the most useful thing ever
>>20248>>20247I can do that.
>Torc grabs a book for notes and head dto the library for research>>20250Torc has a staff of transmutilation
>>20252Nice
>bread be slower than a retarded 4 year old
>>20260Can you make me a cyber-bear mount?
>>20255I could stop off there and see if tracy doesn't want to.
>>20260>Torc has a staff of transmutilationWhat about it?
>>20260>transmutation>trans mutilation
What was the name of Korak's camo-cloak? I'm trying to figure out how to use it in combat.
>>20265Was it the cloak of elvenkind?
>>20266Idk, possibly.
I'm trying to type-up the second rough draft for my character sheet.
>>20267What did the cloak do i could maybe tell you the name.
>>20268I know it granted partial concealment that increased as long as it was used. GM said if used correctly it could allow the user to perform sneak attacks while observed. I thought it could have some great synergy with the nightmare's smoke, in deadly battles.
>>20268Changes colors to suit the surrounding when desired
>>20269I'm trying to figure out how to properly perform sneak attacks with the cane-sword too: It'd be absolutely lethal if it could triple an Assassin's Death Attack.
>>20269>>20270Cloak of Elvenkind: This cloak of neutral gray cloth is indistinguishable from an ordinary cloak of the same color. However, when worn with the hood drawn up around the head, it gives the wearer a +5 competence bonus on Hide checks
Sound similar?
>>20272Seems about right.
>>20273Id put an * next to it on your sheet untill the gm can weigh in on it.
Idk if it was ever clear if Thez took back Bob or not, but it seemed like so.
Tracy, if your assassins guild needs a client...
>>20277*watches intently*
>>20276Actually, she may as well take it back, along with her staff of ki-striking. I thought she'd want them as soon as she got back.
*hands weapons to Thez*
>>20277Tracy never actually mentioned any guild, and it isn't even clear if there will be one, but feel free to mouth off about dipshits you don't like.
>>20279>>20035>>13733 →...Yeah, on third thought, I am going to keep those separate from the rest of the pile: that stuff looks too persal to mix with everything else.
*Moves treasure back hiding spot, leaving note for Thez to pick it up, since she already knows about the dungeon*
(Remind me to build another >RapeDungeon)
>>20263Why hire people todo alchemy when Torc can do it
>>20285Good point.
Torc can craft scrolls too, cant he? The party could use a bunch of those.
Can we train homing pidgeons? That would be insanely useful
>>20287Pigeons? Why not hawks?
>>20289Because homing pigeons are almost insane for their ability to carry messages over miles with perfect navigation
>>20287You need the Handle Animal skill to do that, and you gotta do it one at a time (takes a week for even basic tricks). Certain NPCs could be hired to do it though.
A Ranger or a Druid would be useful for an animal-related task that big.
>>20289Hawks get distracted.
>>20291Another reason why we should track down a zigger!
>>20291For that matter, I wonder what intelligence score Ponimaru has.
>>20293It would be difficult (hippies don't even leave footprints), but with combined skills and spells one could be found potentially be found. Nightmares are natural Trackers, and Infernius can find some routs/clues using a couple divine spells.
>>20289Gonna assume yes, but ask GM.
Also I just noticed how William Wallace Torc's backstory is. I swear I wasn't even trying
>>20295You called your army Wallace's Army. Yes you were
>>20294"Me am so good at tracking zigger"
>>20222So no?
>>20223Other than "look for druids"?
>>202268O
>>20230No magic creature books, but they saw you. Don't overthink it.
>>20240THANK YOU
>>20251Gear components, sure. No more mutagens. You know what, I'm just going to shut up and let you guys find out what happens when you do stuff.
>>20265Cloak (see robe) of scintilating colors
>>20284Oh quit your whining, Thez and Torcuil are the only ones who can even get IN, and Thez is the only one (aside from the whole ant colony,... you don't seem to mind THEM knowing) who knows where it is.
>>20286Scribe Scroll feat to do it independently. He can do it without the feat using the tools in the Library.
>>20287Or you could inquire around the Port,....
Since you're all familiar with Feats, I'll take this time to point out that any crafting or fabricating feat that a player doesn't have can be bypassed by a device in the Tower. Remember all those machines I mentioned? That is what they do, that is what they are for. No, they can't be removed.
>>20301Some magic items require spells, do you necessarily need to know those spells, or can you use scrolls or the assistance of another character?
>>20299>>20301Can torculi make me a cyber-bear mount?
>>20303>cheating on Utachit.
>>20302Assistence. The devices ONLY bypass the requisite 'craft' feat, NOT the essential components.
>>20303By all means, try.
>>20304I was planning on returning her to thez.
>>20306Well, she's awake now.
"Another consequence of being 'normal' again,... this whole 'being tired' and 'having to sleep' thing.
>>20308D-does she have bed hair?
>>20308Reminder that I am waking up next to Slovenia
>>20309No, it's in a long braid now.
>>20310>has been reminded
Also, her hair is a deep-red/burgandy now (again,... it was before but that was a long time before you met)
>>20311"Hey ana me have something for you."
>>20296I actually wasn't, besides sounds better than Roberts Army>>20299Uh, Torc can get in where?
Also, how I get a feat?
>>20305It doesn't bypass epic feats, does it?
>>20312And you said her skin was gray, right?
(just want to know, in case I find the motivation to meme).
>>20315>It doesn't bypass epic feats, does it?Jej
>>20316It was a stupid question that I meant to delet, but now it's too late...
>>20313Don't give her up until we know you have a replacement. You'll probably need her
>>20317>too late too deleteMY SCRUFFY POWERS KNOWS NO SUCH THING AS "TOO LATE"
>>20318"Giving her back is right thing."
Can your scruffy powers wipe my mind?
>>20319They can remove the product of your mind from the board
>>20319"She was given to you for a reason - so that you may use her our our continuing crusade"
>>20313"Oh?"
>>20314Depends on the feat
>>20315No it doesn't bypass epic feats.
She has grey skin (like wet concrete), burgundy hair, and is now wearing a simple set of dark fighting robes (think Darth Maul)
>>20320Yeah, she wants you to have it. Besides, she has other things in mind.
>>20305Can special abilities and spell-like function as spells for crafting? As in, can Tracy use her Etherrealness and Astral Projection to craft certain items that could duplicate those abilities for others?
>>20323No. Only spell-like abilities that can be used on or to affect others.
... by that I mean, to place an effect on someone else, not to include them in the effect you're placing on yourself.
>>20321*takes off sleeves and belt*
"Do You want these back ana?, also me have surprise later"
I can't figure this out for the life of me, how do an Assassin's known Spells work?
>>20327Those things come off?
Don't take off the regen stone before knowing.
>>20327"Stahp. You need those. And I need you"
>>20329Thez pulled the regen stone out of my stomach, and she gave me a ring that does it.
>>20327Uhm,... if you're taking the sleeves off, you'll want to go to the entertron,... ever removed a few dozen deeply-embedded knives? Lots of blood,.... I'll assume that happened 'off camera'.
"If you don't want them anymore, I suppose I'll take them back," she seems disappointed. "What kind of surprise?"
>>20328Spells are gained by,... well it doesn't have any particular requirements, but it wouldn't make sense for an assassin to gain/learn spells the same way mages do,... so I'll just assume assassin spells (limited that they are) are more like sorcerer's spells in that they respond to an innate desire to achieve an effect.
>>20332"No no me love the sleves they make me strong, me was just wondering since no more devil powers if you wanted sleeves back. It wouldn't be a surprise if me told you would it?"*sticks out tounge playfully*
>>20334"Fair point. Still, I've got more then enough techniques and abilities. Besides, those have some,... unpleasant memories attached to them for me. On you they're quite fetching." ^_~
>>20333.....
I don't follow...To go to the root of my question, what's the scope of Tracy's spellcasting abilities right now?
I want to know, because I'd like to craft some items.
>>20335Thats the same as my books, which while saying how many/what spells, it doesn't say whether its a "gain spells by reading/interpreting", or whether you need a spellbook or what-not.
>>20337Okay, what sort of items?
Oh wait, I missed the bit about "just like a bard does"
Okay yeah, you just 'get them' essentially.
>>20338>what sort of items?I need to check again to see what spells my character has access too..
>>20336"Okay if you're sure ill go put them back on, me think your hair look beautiful by the way"
Do the arms talk gm?
Okay, spellcrafting feat. How get?
I fucking hate technical support
>>20343"Thank you come again."
>>20344You forgot the indian I can't understand whom can't understand me
>>20342How about we assume you never took them off and were conversating, for sake of brevity? I mean you can go through the whole "getting eaten and fighting them" bit again if you REALLY want,....
In a meta-sense, Thez is transitioning from a story-driving character (relating to past context and the surrounding world) into a support/admin character (helping to support and develop the resources and abilities of the Port and the factions within it). She's still available to whup ass at a moment's notice, but beyond the needs of the party, she doesn't want to watch the city burn again, nor risk the lives of innocents at the hands of nefarious forces, especially with the party looking to side-quest.
I'm gonna bake a new bread here in a moment. Standby
Spells she has so far:
>disguise self, detect poison, feather fall, ghost sound, jump, obscuring mist, sleep, true strike.
>cause fear, corrupt weapon, cure light wounds, doom, inflict light wounds, magic weapon, summon monster I*.
>bull’s strength, cure moderate wounds, darkness, death knell, eagle’s splendor, inflict moderate wounds, shatter, summon monster II*.