>Nazi Horsefucker Edition
Vent frustrations and life issues that don't deserve their own thread here.
250 replies and 118 files omitted.
I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better about what you just experienced, but just try not to beat yourself up too much about it. I'm sure it must be digging into all kinds of latent feelings of personal inadequacy and guilt right now, and that that must be agonizing to feel on top of the loss of losing your horse, but you can grow to forgive yourself eventually. You as a person don't necessarily need to be defined by your mistakes.
I did everything I thought of to do, thats not the same as everything I could. I let my excitement get the better of me and made several critical design flaws to the pen and the area around it. As a holding area it was fine, but I neglected several easily-implemented fail-safes that could have prevented this, and most damningly I never even asked myself the question of 'what do I do if she gets out?'. That question alone could have prevented this.>>4310
No, I think beating myself up over this is precisely what needs to happen.
I do appreciate the consolation though
Fren. its not your fault i promise. how could you have known she would get out? you couldn't have.
No, beating yourself up about it isn’t going to help. Sometimes, even the most well thought out plans for wrong, despite our best efforts. You might not think your planning was enough now, but hindsight always will allow you to see flaws that you couldn’t before. You need some time, but if this is your dream, you can’t let this stop you.
I am sorry for your loss, but I hope you understand that you are going to learn from this and you shouldn’t give up. You are going to be ok.
Don't be to hard on yourself anon. It is understandable and natural to feel bad and thinking all sorts of what ifs, hindsight is always 20/20. You did not will this or want this so you didn't do anything wrong. You wanted to give her a good home and I would also say you did do that. Accidents happens and no one can foresee and prevent them all. Your motives were pure and you should not feel bad for trying to do something good.
Thats where you're wrong, its literally all my fault. The responsibility, obligation, onus, all falls on me. I should have known she would get out, I should have planned for it. I should have set up an elaborate system of fences beyond and around her pen.
I SHOULD have made it inevitable that even upon getting out, leading her back would be easy, because there would be nowhere for her to go. Instead, it was in3v8table that she escape, and the rest is history.
I appreciate you saying so, but I reject the notion that its not my fault.>>4313
I disagree. This experience has shown ways in which I have become contemptible, and self-loathing is a powerful impetus for change.
I know you don’t want to hear it right now, but that is an unreasonable outlook. I have neighbors that have horses and they don’t have backup fences or anything. Where you see a lack of planning, I see just a normal set up.
If you are encouraged to make back ups to prevent it happening again, then that is great. However, you couldn’t have foreseen this. All the self loathing couldn’t have changed that and it won’t change it in the future. If you are blinded by those thoughts, you may harden your heart towards life, making it worthless to continue your dream. You will tie your dream to the negative emotion you are experiencing.
I wish the best for you in all you do.
Bro. you cannot foresee the future. its impossible. you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. its a tragedy it happened. but its not your fault.
You could try and upgrade your fencing now to stop this from happening again
Whenever a friend of mine catches me beating myself up he tells me to look at what I can learn from it to improve something, and then stop, because it's always easier after a change.
Again, I must disagree. I absolutely could have forseen this, and I was derelict in not having done so. Also, dream is a bit of a misnomer. I simply love animals fluttershy is best pone btw
, and my situation has developed to where it was not only feasible to get a horse, but it is beneficial in keeping the grass down without having to mow. And, while others may not have fail-safes, everyone I know who has livestock does
including the breeder (who - fun fact - didnt charge me for her adoption because "she knew she was going to a good home and she would be well taken care of"), who has no less than 4 perimeter fences surrounding the horse pens, as well as an i tricate network of gates many of which cant be open at the same time. I get what you're trying to convey, but you're not going to convince me that this was an accident; this was an abject failure, and Im coming from the school where if I lose sight of that, Ive failed twice.>>4317>you cant see the future
Its not as difficult as you might think actually>its not your fault
I didnt do it deliberately thats true, but again the responsibility was mine. My behavior was insufficient to express my Intent, and so my Will couldnt manifest. My Will was to keep her safe. The failure stands.>>4318>upgrade your fencing
You're goddamn right I will
And if nothing else, I hope my example serves as a lesson for anyone reading.
Do you have enough money to get a new one?
One of the main things about horses is they respond to pain the most. It has something to do with how their brains are wired, and a lot of it gets short-circuited with some pain. This is how they are trained. Spurs and bits are to induce enough pain to train them. Breaking in a horse (or pone... lul) to not do annoying things like get out of the pen or stay off the road unless someone is on their back is a process. Heh, I guess children are similar in this regard.
You can't just give them all your love and expect an animal (or even most ppl) to do what is decent or good. While I suspect you know this already, it is worth repeating.
Having grown up on a farm, maybe its a bit different to my outlook on life. Raising a cow, laying out in the sun with it on lazy summer days... then shooting it in the head, butchering it and eating it. Death (at the moment) is part of life. There are billions of what-if's... don't let the what-if's bog you down.
Money isnt/wasnt the issue, and yes I have the means to adopt another. The point there is the gesture and the trust placed. And in time I will get another one, but I have alot of shit to get together first. And the area is such that I will see the breeder again, one way or another. Before I face her again, I absolutely owe it to correct every reasonable flaw in my setup
My final word before returning this thread to its regularly scheduled random outbursts.
After a little over a day of raking myself over the coals, Ive determined the failing perceptions that led to this tragedy. I'll forever blame myself for what happened, but from a 'never again' position as opposed to a 'Im a horrible person' position. Please dont let my exceedingly critical tone give a false impression; it is a posture geared toward producing almost immediate results by harnessing the adverse emotions that come from such experiences. And for a day I truly hated myself, but now that I know how to exhaustively prevent this from happening again, NOW I can begin to mourn for her, and to forgive myself. But thats just how I do it; business first, personal after.
Thanks everyone, you all helped in ways I cant articulate but it meant alot.
We will always be here for you anon. If you ever need anything, let us know.
Quite a lot of horses have died over the past week, it's fairly phenomenal in how these occurrences have rapidly transpired although there is more to be seen it seems.>>4305
She looks like a Shetland, her ears are pointing back while the stance she poses is defensive rather than trusting or relaxed.>>4319
An experience to show exampling.
You have no one to blame but yourself.>>4320
Death is a necessarily harsh step towards change, it is a process we are all a part of. Yet desperate times call for dire measures before defeat is accepted.>>4326
The abyss is a nasty place for your mind to be, it's a challenge in keeping your head during such phases. Sorrow leads to regret which spirals downward into misery, further down the darker it gets.
The fuck are you on anon?
>>4329>a narcissist trying to spread mysery
Your inner self is so transparent.
>>4329>more to be seen
Please elaborate>ears back
Yes, that was the day we brought her home. I only have 2 pictures of her, regrettably >no one to blame
Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss and abandoning one's self to it is an essential part of one's potentiation. The trick is to not lose one's self in the process, which is what many/most other aspects of the work are geared toward in some capacity, but I digress.>>4330>>4332
His words mirror many my own, I see no fault
As a surprise addendum, a very "Applejack-esque" cowgirl Im aquainted with had this to say about the matter.>Dont you dare let this break you. Dont you dare. You cant keep horses without losing them eventually. But not everyone who loses a horse internalizes it. Alot of them wouldn't obsess about what they did wrong, and alot of them wouldnt shed a tear in putting them down. Alot of them dont care. And there are alot of horses who need the love and affection you can give them. You know what you did wrong now so get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle cuz theres alot of horses out there dying without knowing any human affection. She bonded to you in a week. I dont know many first-time horse owners who have managed that.>pic related
Long story short. Nutmeg.>>4332>Transparency
Perhaps, although not every glass is clear nor is all water either.
There is more than meets the eye, as usual.
Narcissism could be numbered against my long list but as of yet it isn't for it would be another labeled smear on the records, self obsession is common amongst the modern populace. Generosity is a rare commodity nowadays, unfortunately so.>>4336>Please elaborate
To phrase it abruptly, there are always going to be more dead horses. The desensitization of deceased domestic animals is hard to acquire if one's heart is ever too caring and sharing.
Elaborated accordingly.>Yes, that was the day we brought her home.
Unaccustomed to the strange environment that appeared before her, she saw the flaws and manipulated them but had not anticipated the danger of the roaring roads.>Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss
The fear of sadness, is but a phobia of depression.
We should have a thread for nice music.
There's a political music thread but I mean one specifically for this sort of thing https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_cLprhx7JE
that just sounds nice. Based lyrics about a happy housewife being good to her ploughman, a cheerful tone, not a nigger to be heard, it's a traditional song advocating for traditionalism while sounding nice.
We already have it.
Non political music goes here: >>>/sp/2487 →
You're right, another thread specifically for that sort of music would be a bit much
Who doesn't like a bit of Irish music every once in a while?
Life is pretty great all things considered. Should go out and experience it.
>Numbers Go Here
It's also in diminishing returns it's been a while. Running negative for myself due to a combination of outside circumstances. Having a dummy that goes on the same jig everytime gets old. Yet some amount of attention has to be there because it still is someone who'll ruin the fun and games.
I'll even play devil's advocate if I need to, to fill that spot.
>Numbers Go Here
Rules and regulations isn't the game here, the implied interests of Anons sure, it's getting up in the morning with a smile instead of a sigh and a slog.
Dark and mysterious, numberless numbers. Who could possibly be the perpetrator of the posts? Only time will tell in this thread of the damned!
Be killing your self. Anon did nothing wrong. He does not need you to be poisoning the well of his mind with unkind words. This is not friendship,Juden.>>4336>>4326
Do not letting him fuck with you anon. He is retard.
But, I apprrciate
his perspective. He's not wrong, nor was he any harsher on myself than Ive been. Its important to be brutally honest with yourself, ESPECIALLY when you fuck up. I know we're all on about ponies and shit, but sometimes you gotta be brutal; its not deviant to do so and I wouldnt tell him or anyone ITT (specifically) to kill themselves.
Perfectionism is a form of masturbation in which narcissistic faggots paralyze themselves with their fear of making mistakes and looking foolish, and then scare themselves into doing nothing besides saying "At least I'm not fucking up right now".
But they are fucking up. They're failing to reach their true potential, if they have any.
fuck lmao didnt mean to send that
anyway whenever I feel that old sin creeping up on me, I shitpost. I produce some low-effort art and shit it into the world and I don't care who sees it. Sometimes I produce low-effort art for fun, not for therapy, so it wouldn't be right to say that's the only reason I make low-effort art in addition to high-effort art. Sometimes bad jokes don't need high quality art.
>>4418>Be killing your self.
Seems literacy isn't your strong suit, fella, hehehe.>Anon did nothing wrong.
And neither did Hitler.>He does not need you to be poisoning the well of his mind with unkind words.
The harsh reality is something to not be scared of, as opposed to the sloth of a lazy life where death is a primary fear and effort is forgotten or disregarded entirely in feeble mindedness.
Telling someone upfront what their faults are is ego breaking and so is either accepted as criticism or an intimidation, not everyone is perfect but they can aspire to be better than to wallow in their own despair and pity. Surely you should understand the reasoning behind such directly worded merits, otherwise assuming you might not be so good at words, you may have misinterpreted my purposes and intentions.>This is not friendship,Juden.
Then what is it nigger?
Adversarial rivalry? Harsh critique? Denouncing allies? >He is retard.
Judging by your demeanor, you appear to be as thick as 3 bricks. Comprehension of the situation is a bit hard eh?>>4419>But, I apprrciate his perspective.
Thanks.>He's not wrong, nor was he any harsher on myself than Ive been.
More often than most times, oneself can be the own worst enemy possible.>Its important to be brutally honest with yourself, ESPECIALLY when you fuck up.
To live by denial of failure is to exist within the entrapment of egotistical self delusions, mistakes will be made but they can be corrected given enough time.>I know we're all on about ponies and shit, but sometimes you gotta be brutal;
Practicality supersedes emotional morality. Death is a part of life, after all, we're all on our way there so we might as well make the most the most out of it whilst we're here instead of making matters worse for ourselves and others.
Ponies are something truly magical, indeed they are uniquely special.>its not deviant to do so and I wouldnt tell him or anyone ITT (specifically) to kill themselves.
I personally agree with your statement, anon.