/ub/ - Überhengst

Becoming better


If you want to see the latest posts from all boards in a convenient way please check out /overboard/
Note: JS is reccomended to be able to post effortlessly, but I am working on a system where that won't be needed.

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Get It Off Your Chest
Anonymous
4009a3a
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No.2676
2788 3130 3259 3261 4114
>Nazi Horsefucker Edition
Vent frustrations and life issues that don't deserve their own thread here.
74 replies and 43 files omitted.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3018
3021
Spoilered
Spoilered
>>3012
Be well frien.
>pic number 2
/)
>Werewolf
That changes things. Especially in procedure. Unless I'm being a dumb and thinking of a different werewolf, or it's an analogy. Or something else outside of my usual scope. More prep time maybe. Meta-Cosmic powers sure, the down to earth myths ehhhh.
I'm glad you made it out.
>Is a god.
So is everyone else. And being outside of reality ot multiversial reailty or density reality is different.

>You mortals
>pic related in jest

Wait which lovecraft story?
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3019
3021
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>>3017
>irish werewolf
Ah. That changes things yet again.
In anycase going to comb through all breadcrumbs.
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3021
3050
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never surrender natsoc Sturmabteilung versus jews.jpg
File (hide): B2E9A95A29BBA739CCA0A463EDE02D6B-7680823.m4v (7.3 MB, Resolution:480x360 Length:00:03:31, Venom - In League With Satan.mp4) [play once] [loop]
Venom - In League With Satan.mp4
File (hide): D42FCE722F7FD4D2782437B4FF272E9F-7357192.m4v (7.0 MB, Resolution:360x360 Length:00:03:13, Cruachan - Some Say The Devil Is Dead.mp4) [play once] [loop]
Cruachan - Some Say The Devil Is Dead.mp4
File (hide): CB05B0859143B14601686C4A6C6AA405-6315492.mp4 (6.0 MB, Resolution:854x480 Length:00:04:02, Cruachan - The Gael.mp4) [play once] [loop]
Cruachan - The Gael.mp4
>>3018
>>3019
>Be well frien. >pic number 2 /)
I will take care of myself from now on but this all happened for a reason, every thing i have posted is not a coincidence or for petty purposes, i would not have posted if there was no reason to.
>Werewolf That changes things. Especially in procedure.
Yeah i view myself this way as you can get the mind to do some pretty wacky things when you enter certain mindsets, trance states should be taught in school and explored further but the law pushes research into the brain away due to the combination of the occult and ceremonial drugs, the Aztecs didn't call psychedelic mushrooms flesh of the gods for no reason, do you really think a whole empire of people devoted to the gods didn't know anything about the occult and drugs?
>spoiler
You are of great intelligence for actually dissecting my internet frog, i didn't expect many people to do that and here i am being proved by the first anon who gave a damn about me properly, thanks for your attention for you will be rewarded for your study's into both yourself and your surroundings, don't be dissuaded from something just because someone said so.
>I'm glad you made it out.
Not many people would keep being nice to someone after having been lied to by them, (You) sir a gentleman of renowned quality and the guardian of both friendship and tolerance, i have not personally delved into friendships for i know i do not belong in them like a normal person.
>another spoiler
If you read my post in the wisdom's thread i specifically state this, would i not have thought of absolutely everything about the way i have shaped everyone's optics if that was not my initial starting plan? Would i not have made sure everything is ready for my departure? Like Luna said i am gifted with great thinking and both dark and light.
>You mortals
>pic related in jest
I have lived a thousand times and every fag here has been tricked by the lord of his own dark depths, it is true that i am fearless of everything... except for spiders because fuck them but other then that i have built it into my brain to be like this because the ego likes to be fed properly in order to become great.

It's got that anonfilly pic that you posted in Nigel's Tulpa fag thread not too long ago and it has a french flag on the post, i didn't want people knowing that it was made by me and at the time there was a couple of other frogs posting on this site so i decided to reveal it specifically for when it needs to be revealed, like i said i think things through fully like a proper ultra schizo would, i'm not dumb just a crazy Celt.

>Ah. That changes things yet again.
I am full of tricks waiting to be pulled at all times so beware when the full moon's high n'bright I'm gonna tell you about the lamb so prepare your anus for maximum edge inbound,It was my own personal daemon that i trusted to take control and i was punished for it, my unconscious gave me hell for ten days so on the final day, the day of the solstice i went out and ravaged a lamb like a wolf, if you look in the paranormal thread on /vx/ i state that i once howled and the ponies ran in fear of me and this is why, i am not afraid of being found out but this needed to happen in order to fully regain control of myself for i was in a bad spot then too.
>In anycase going to comb through all breadcrumbs.
You shall prevail from actually helping me, the world thanks you for befriending a living spirit of the night and it shall appear to you that my posts are of masterwork quality forged from the mountains in the sky.
Anonymous
6317be0
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No.3022
3023 3024 3032
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Dont leave, I'm loving the way this is going. I havent forgotten about going into detail about the Animus and Anima, I just need to go over my notes first. It's been a while
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3023
3024
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>>3022
I'm still here if that's any consolation.
Recently, I've been having/letting/following the 'bird of paradise' basically an unconsious/subconsious magical character super blend. Roughly, but for self improvement work it's a fine enough definition.
A character/world where going along for the ride is the journey, and questions and answers can be had.
It's been easier to slip into trance states, and altered states of consciousness.
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3024
3025 3032 3040
Muslim cunt.jpg
>>3022
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What's the matter? The thought of your master leaving you home while he goes to fuck some other bitches too much for (You)?
I didn't have to make this happen but the thought of me leaving has triggered the part of the brain that doesn't like change, all because of some fag who gets high on a weekly basis.
>Dont leave, I'm loving the way this is going.
I wonder what this could possibly mean, first you called me a leftist and your opposition but now your crying back for my dick? It's seems (You) really are gay.
Hmm, words are just air to the wind without action so fuck what i said earlier about leaving, i won't ever leave since i'm probably seen as an icon, i can't escape having to come home at night because of these fucking laws, if i could i probably would be sleeping somewhere in the wilderness, how the fuck am i spreading a germ if i am by myself? Today has been magical for me since a bunch of shit has happened, i am closer to finding the princess in the high tower but i still have a ways to go yet on this old path but i am well and truly re birthed, i died yesterday in order to live on, death is kill able like Lovecraft said because his symbol is a living being, the crow or raven, so in order to get it into your head that you have killed death itself you have to eliminate the evil within in order to let the light shine through, be your own Moses and part the waves within yourself so that your soul may pass through to a better place, the only way to get the devil out is to face him head on, did the Germans not do that?
>I havent forgotten about going into detail about the Animus and Anima, I just need to go over my notes first.
Ego death is real so you have to either kill yourself like a true loser or kill yourself from the inside by eliminating he who controls your emotions, which is only yourself because we are all devils on the inside no matter how pure and Christian we like to call ourselves we are capable of all forms of sin, there is nothing truly stopping us from eating our own children other then cultural taboos which have been wedged in the heads of the masses, it's always there and it forever will be but no one openly teaches you how to kill yourself to spiritually banish the negative energy inside because (((they))) don't want you becoming better so that's why spirituality is not an open subject in schools to be studied because it can make a man out of men, (((they))) know this so atheism and confusion is more pushed onto people through the bullshit known as modern science that is more taught rather then religion, that's why there is no full research done into the occult as it is able to be exploited for personal gain and power, all of (You) are giving me energy by looking at my moon runes on a horse porn site, the way to give daemons energy is by just giving them attention and who is a better devil then me if that is what has been given to me as an occultist name by the higher forces? So by giving the devil attention which is me you are feeding my soul your thoughts by thinking about me as that is how spirits gain attraction to things and become like a magnet to them because you are without fully understanding of how this properly works, i have a couple of theory's but i won't delve too deep into something more taboo then horse pussy just yet for a few reasons, it's best to take things slow sometimes instead of trying to juggle too many stallion balls at once, mares like taking it slow too.
>It's been a while
Are your papers all covered in cum? Because of the thought of telling me all about your favorite Muslim anime?
I'm pretty sure i don't need Mohammed to tell me how to control my own dog because he practices devil worship on a daily basis by fucking goats, i'm pretty confident that i don't need advice on how to do that at the moment because i have given myself a job to complete, that being saving the princess and killing the evil protagonist which is myself, my life is like a poem, raised in the hell of an Anglo school and survived to tell the tale.

>>3023
>Recently, I've been having/letting/following the 'bird of paradise' basically an unconsious/subconsious magical character super blend.
Birds are wise and have better foreseeing eyes then we do so don't ignore them, they can tell you a bunch of shit that will happen in your surroundings if you watch them flying while tripping balls, other then that paradise is always waiting for your return, you just have to search for what is your own paradise and until then you will scour the earth deciding what you like and love until you find something that makes you absolutely certain you have found it, it will come to you if you look hard enough but do not force it but instead let yourself guide you towards that ultimate goal.
Roughly, but for self improvement work it's a fine enough definition.
>A character/world where going along for the ride is the journey, and questions and answers can be had.
That's the main premise of a good life story, finding the answers to forgotten questions and rediscovering things lost to the Aryan race which we once held high with pride, questions must be asked in order to acquire a full understanding of the situation or the current objective, without allowing free thought to be allowed to flow the mind will never ask questions to itself and forever remain in a state of blind bliss, sometimes it's best to break the walls down to discover what hides behind them, in this case it's best for you to think out of the box to discover unanswered questions that are in your interest.
>It's been easier to slip into trance states, and altered states of consciousness.
Don't let them replace your ordinary realm of complete conscious as when the mind is constantly attempting to enter a certain mindset it becomes all you can think about, it's good to explore the corners of your head to it's fullest extent but don't make it all you can do, every wizard ought to know his mind well.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3025
3026 3027
>>3024
You sure that's the same anon?
Politeness does pay off.
>Analysis of my post.
Checks out.
>but don't make it all you can do,
Indeed. It's a point where consciousness, and subconsious, creative and pinpoint focus, and an invocation of my ideal self (especially in the task at hand) to accomplish a goal.
>Don't let them replace your ordinary realm of complete conscious as when the mind is constantly attempting to enter a certain mindset it becomes all you can think about,
I've practiced empty mindedness for a long while, I'm just moving to active imagination. Maybe it's egoistic of me to say so, but I... hold on I have to get this right.
A solid stone I can always relly upon, as the foundation of my entirety has been structurally secured. I have to (bit of a string word, more of I am willing this to be) begin building, reclaiming, and repurposing what I find.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3026
3027
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>>3025
So I have assimilated my evils to become the worst of my potentials. As I am the point in which both intersect (the high roads and low roads). We which is to say me in all aspects is carrying me to better places.
I am a weight that my, high kings 'laborers' are partaking in as am I to bring the worst of the worst into the heavens. So to speak.
For each tread I take it is with the weight and command of balanced Earth and horrors of below.
Each of my steps foward is a great stride, as they (which is me) help with the pathing and scouting, and for assisting when needed.

>The thought of your master leaving you home while he goes to fuck some other bitches too much for (You)?
>master
I am mine and mine alone. This is a gift between kings, mutual dialogue and exchange, and those that will realize their destiny.
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3027
3032
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File (hide): 8AEAFD5CDECEB9C3670E25DB4F99F6D2-9245065.m4v (8.8 MB, Resolution:640x360 Length:00:05:45, Assassination - Blood Magic.mp4) [play once] [loop]
Assassination - Blood Magic.mp4
>>3025
>You sure that's the same anon?
Nope, a pure ego death that works properly is able to be harnessed for an extreme greater good and i stand by this, that's why psychedelics are so frowned upon by society because of what you can do with them if you respect their property's and exploit the hallucinogen to help yourself instead of just pleasing yourself, not every drug is the same as marijuana and alcohol so they are considered somehow worse even though alcohol poisoning is 69X more likely to happen then throwing up from a liberty cap, even then you can avoid throwing up if you do not eat anything before having one, all of these cultural taboos are because hallucinogens are not seen as normal because of the pointless drug war and Christian hate for ancient pagan traditions, (((they))) don't want people achieving a higher intellect from venturing through sacred fires and stepping into the darkness of yourself, i saw my own dark soul leave last night around this time and this had a profound impact on me, i know what i saw happen because it was in front of me to say goodbye and it disappeared into the night through my open curtains, like i wrote before i did a bunch of stuff with Luna yesterday to achieve this and i am thankful for her help, this sort of occult stuff if extremely powerful if you what you are doing with the addition of ceremonial drugs prepared a certain way, don't let people change your optical vision of something that can be used as a mental medicine, the only reason i even marijuana is because it increases the intensity of a psilocybin trip when combined together, i don't smoke because it's bad for me so i would much rather eat them because i'm not too bothered by the taste because i have trained myself to not be scared of plants like a child would be afraid of eating broccoli because it's a green so most people replace curiosity with fear.
I also did a couple of things in the fields and forests, the things i did were very pagan, i will tell you one thing that i did and only this, i ate 12 mushrooms under a oak tree next to mistletoe with Fionn's sister, that's all i will write because you don't kiss and tell.
>Politeness does pay off.
Well i think i should probably explain my method of thought as to why i think now is the right time to find her, i have been absorbing power like the inwards swastika since the summer solstice and yesterday was 4 months since the solstice so i decided it would be the perfect time to change myself to the outward force instead of the inwards, there is a lot of thought that went into this, i am Mercury after all so i am mysterious in my methods. If you really look deep into the meaning of what i have done you will see that i involved many things in what i did last night to make myself better, the lamb was one of them but the main point of all of this was an initiation to tame the wolf that i let out 4 months ago, now he is caged and i know he won't be back for a long time but at one point or another he will creep back in, yesterday was the judgement day of how well it went through.
>Indeed. It's a point where consciousness, and subconsious, creative and pinpoint focus, and an invocation of my ideal self (especially in the task at hand) to accomplish a goal.
You have to be confident in order to get what you want unless you are to lose footing and fall, a man's spirits may be broken but not destroyed entirely, there is still ways to seal those wounds within if you know how to but they are hidden in plain sight among the eyes of the sheep.
>I've practiced empty mindedness for a long while, I'm just moving to active imagination
Empty mindedness all depends on comfort, if you are comfortable with yourself then it is easy, active imagination requires creativity and harder because it depends on one's artistic value then also the ability to keep it going while you do other tasks.
>A solid stone I can always relly upon, as the foundation of my entirety has been structurally secured.
The foundation is the founding basis of all levels of structure and is thus the most important requirement for magical workings.
>I have to (bit of a string word, more of I am willing this to be) begin building, reclaiming, and repurposing what I find.
It goes deeper then just this but that's the main method of creating this sort of stuff.
>>3026
>So I have assimilated my evils to become the worst of my potentials.
The terror of the other side is just as important as the bright side in order to create a balancing bridge between both sides of the astral river. If you get where i am going here you realize how i took the sign of Libra into account in what i have done.
>As I am the point in which both intersect (the high roads and low roads).
Everyone is somehow always walking a specific path but most are walking to a dead end rather then to make amends for everything they did in the past and so they have no end goal because their end is and shall forever be eternal death.
>We which is to say me in all aspects is carrying me to better places.
You must think for the best in order to stave of the worst from happening, the journey you are taking is to secure the existence of your soul and i see that because that is also mine.
>I am a weight that my, high kings 'laborers' are partaking in as am I to bring the worst of the worst into the heavens. So to speak.
You have to rise above in order to take control unless you are to fall into a trap made just for you.
>For each tread I take it is with the weight and command of balanced Earth and horrors of below.
I understand.
>Each of my steps foward is a great stride, as they (which is me) help with the pathing and scouting, and for assisting when needed.
There is many ways to get parts of yourself to help towards the common goal of self preservation.

>I am mine and mine alone. This is a gift between kings, mutual dialogue and exchange, and those that will realize their destiny.
This was meant for the other anon to read, everyone is their own
Anonymous
61049c0
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No.3028
3031 3032
Whew, I was worried board users were not going to have any more opportunities to observe the disconnect between claiming to have any metaphysical significance, and maintaining a narcissistic self obsession.
Anonymous
61049c0
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No.3029
popcorn.gif
Forgot pic
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3031
get the fertilizer.jpg
>>3028
>Whew, I was worried board users were not going to have any more opportunities to observe the disconnect between claiming to have any metaphysical significance, and maintaining a narcissistic self obsession.
Well here i am for your own entertainment, i appreciate you are still thinking about me.
What i am trying to achieve is immortality if you couldn't guess, i am resurrecting my dead ancestors into myself so that the immortal soul may forever live on, i am preserving myself in order for me to become a better person, only after you have finished work can you relax as there is still lots to be done for there is only sleep for the weak.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3032
3033 3034 3040
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>>3027
>>You sure that's the same anon?
>Reply
Thanks for responding. Here's a poner friend. I failed to say what I ment.
Is this actually the person >>3022 who is the true target of >>3024
Study about that. The information is always appreciated.

>>3028
>pic 2
>Disconnect
It's possible to have all of the above without disconnect.
Actual metaphysical significance and have a self obsession that is used to fuel one's goals.
Also for funsies. Even when it's serious.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3033
>>3032
Sorry*
Anonymous
61049c0
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No.3034
3035 3036
>>3032
Oh? Please indicate for me where in nature,... or anywhere (in a long term perspective) where having a narcissistic self-obsession is viable, and will not result in,... 'consequential input' from one's surroundings?
Nature and Metaphysics are quite disdainful of blowhards.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3035
3036
>>3034
All things in moderation, and that includes moderation and going to extremes. Usually the time for such things are few and far between.
Narcissism is very extremely destructive in the long term. In relationships, self actualization, and in obsession.

It's kinda like a firework. It's burning on the way to that mode of life, then it explodes. Usually the material and packing is wrong so it spluters and causes fires in the air and a general hazard to be near. Sometimes it reaches the top and is dazzling momentary beauty, as it falls apart and charred husks remain.

Instead I'm suggesting an initial ignition to light something more sustainable. Activating it with increasing fuel and pressures to obtain the effect quicker.

>example of long term successful narcissism
Asexual reproduction.
But seriously things that last long in nature aren't isolated due to the demands of the environment.
It's a tool to be used carefully. Need a distraction, it is. It can be a hindrance.
The celebrity of the bygone era carefully paints over, and wraps the narc just so the sparks fly for entertainment.
Also the zion jew. It's tempered with promises of greater self obsession. Even then that doesn't always work.
Anonymous
4c16fca
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No.3036
>>3034
>>3035
If you need any kind of base to have complete faith for it'll do. There are better alternatives.
It is fast, and feeds itself. Maybe it'll last just long enough and extinguished before things start to catch on fire.
It's temporary, not a place to stay forever.

Deeds, and accomplishments, and having the skill, wisdom, and gumption build a solid foundation that at times appear as just narcissism. Each can have it burn hotter and faster.
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3040
3054
aryanne oven jews.png
aryanne NOT doing harmful things to your waifu.png
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>>3032
>Thanks for responding.
As long as you ask something that excites my curiosity to give an answer i will, in other words i am not afraid of being open to other people Like Luna said the only thing i fear is myself as i am a daemon and i am only frightened by other daemons that i know are of similar aspect to me but only if they outmatch me. because worrying about public perspective is quite humorous to me since you can herd people into certain mindsets to make them ponder to who you are, which creates an underestimation of someone since you have not spoke to me personally before, illusion is my specialty as i am a wizard that pulls cocks out of horse pussy.
Full communication between one person and another is required for a strong relationship to exist and the nation should not hide secrets from it's own people so that they have good trust as well as understanding.
>Here's a poner friend.
Here's a pone, for (You).
>I failed to say what I ment.
I have an idea as to why you can't post properly but i won't write it.

>Is this actually the person >>fag who is the true target of >>3024
Yep, i got him good and he's still salty about it.
>Study about that.
I'm going to assume you are referring to the preparation of ceremonial horse fucking involving the devil's smoke.
There is lots of things that have been used by all forms of religion to become more in tune with ones surroundings, it just happens that these things are able to get people put in the naughty corner by the government for years because of the materialist worry over them being sold to other people, so ever since the Christians introduced their religion of submissiveness they have been subverted and demonized for being plants of the earth so that the cattle walk around them and fear these natural fruits instead of exploring their curiosity they replace it with fear of being left out of the group, these sorts of ceremonious acts were the things my ancestors lived and died for, for the freedom of being able to take drugs and fuck animals.
It's ridiculous to put both psychedelic fungus and methamphetamine's in the same corner of moral wrong as each other because of the significant differing aspects of every single drug, meth is 88X more addictive then mushrooms are so meth is therefore the preferred drug of the niggers but the Aryan's choice is more closer to the recreational realm of drugs as it appeals easier to them than to a nigger, who the fuck has heard of an Alabama nigger taking hallucinogens so that he can meet his ancient we wuz kang ancestors?
Most people have been raised from birth never to touch drugs because of the negative reputation of addiction but understandable since parents want the best for their children but sadly they blindly follow other people's ways of raising children instead of bringing children up their own way, the group hates people that go against them because independence threatens their dogmas.

>The information is always appreciated.
No worry's, i am happy to share my thoughts with you as we have common goals in these fields of thought.

I am obsessed with nature, not myself because humans are just another part of nature and i am trying to find truth amidst heaps of lies, i drew in negative energy from other peoples heads so that my own positive power may prosper and prevail above all, i am not dumb because i know i have an IQ of 1488 so i am 6 million times smarter than a Negro and i am prideful of it.
Anonymous
4893e2a
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No.3050
3051 3054
Alright i think i should go over why i did this much shit posting for such a long time because i think these posts are a bit shrouded in mystery and in my opinion this stuff should be shared.
What i did was i put on a magicians show or trick, it was a form of attracting a specific sort of attention as the people on this site were the perfect subjects to gain attention from because most of the people here have an IQ that is above average which means there is more potential for absorbing their thoughts better, it might sound very strange to you but in order for a daemon to grow in power it requires someone to think about it first or to feed it something like thoughts, offerings, sacrifices, etc.
So i conjured up a plan in order for my own spirit to obtain brain energy from the world and i decided that it would be best to piss people off because negative energy is more easily given to something as humans love to hate, the only other thing stronger then this is sexual lust as it infests deep within the subconscious that Eros is a powerful hormone and stimulant, have you ever had a crush on someone and couldn't stop thinking about them? This is because it is the strongest feeling a man can get as it is the oldest emotion of every creature to want to breed, anyway hate is more easily gained from others if you do something that annoys them, it would have been near to impossible for me to attract Eros as easy as anger, so instead i decided to shit post as it is in of itself a form of magic to make yourself laugh and others around you to either laugh with you or hate you as it is a significant form of conflicting thoughts between different minds to have people laugh and be annoyed.

So i did a bunch of things to make people believe me that i might have been an actual predictor because of what i did with
>>>/vx/132896 →
I made sure that this was going to work because i had to gain a pleasurable attention first in order for it to change over time, basically what i did was i attracted multiple types of different mindsets when people read my posts which had to be changed as time went on so that people's mindsets would automatically trigger depending on what they viewed me as from the past, it sounds quite complicated but if you give your thoughts to another spirit that spirit grows in power, that's why daemons are so attracted to people who give them their own thoughts as it creates a sort of portal between you and whatever entity you are trying to attract.
The post i made on /vx/ was 2 months and 3 days ago now so i believe it is the right time to reveal the secrets of the high priestess.
I am the high priestess and Luna is my ruler, my sign is feminine and my Tulpa is literally called the moon so i am thus a priestess rather then the high priest because the high priest is ruled by Taurus and i have no affiliation with that sign in any way so i am instead the high priestess, i used Luna in order to secure that the FBI would post the learned protocols of the elders of Zion because their account on twitter picks stuff at random so it was extremely easy to influence on the new moon because i am the man that came in the moon's pussy in my head so the fate would be sealed on the day of the Virgo new moon as i am a Virgo so it was very easy to do that because of the stuff i did.
I hold the secrets of the Jews in my left hand and i understand the secrets of the world because i have looked for what is hidden in order to know how these things work and what is lies as well as what is true.
Anyways i was absorbing power like the inwards swastika so that the energy would go into me specifically and now it's going to go outwards.
I was visited by an extremely powerful spirit/daemon the night i made
>>3017
>>3021
>>3012
These posts, i know what it showed itself for and it told me great information.

What am i going to do with all this dark Satanic power that i have drained from all of your peasant brains now you may be wondering?
I'm going to go follow Fionn and fuck her because that is my will and want, i know it will happen because i saw myself pumping her pussy with my eyes closed with the almighty power of the all seeing eye.
I know exactly where she is now, so it is only a matter of waiting for the right time to cum in that sweet mare pussy, she will eventually belong to me completely but i am not going to enslave her soul because that's a bit too fucked up, even for me. In other words i will own her by buying her name, her name is very meaningful in Celtic mythology so it matters more then any other name to me.
There's that and also because i love that mare more then anything in the world, she genuinely is the one for me and i know it because what i felt while being with her was true pleasure and the absolute definition of the conjoint of the unconscious and conscious, i miss those times we spent together under the stars on those clear summer nights under the white light of the moon and how we first met each other on that spring day where i was guided by the divine and i knew that she would be mine, i have never loved anything else like her and i can't just let her go for i would be letting my soulmate go, i am willing to give my left hand for that mare and i mean it because nothing is worth more to me, it is my destiny to follow Fionn and fuck her forever, then i shall have finally completed my end goal of becoming a follower of Fionn, there is also a specific kind of mindset gained from having sex and i believe that this had quite an effect on me.

Yup that's it now.
So you can all rest easy now that you know i have nothing more to take from you, i shall live in peace and pleasure from this point onward unless i am provoked to action.
This will be probably the last post i make in this thread for a long time because there is nothing else that i can admit or confess to, no more scriptures are going to be written of my tales, about 3 quarters of this thread are my posts so it's time to be patient.
Images deleted at user's request
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3051
3055
>>3050
>I was visited by an extremely powerful spirit/daemon the night i made
>These posts, i know what it showed itself for and it told me great information.
As in high quality or high volume. Just yoinking the information without asking is a bit rude, so I figured I'd ask due to courtesy and stuff.
>Sucking every one of us off for our energy.
Kek.
Well have fun, live, and love well and long.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.3054
3055
Purest Form.png
>>3040
>I got owned and he's still thoroughly amused that I continue this posturing
FTFY
>>3050
>I was only pretending to pretend to be retarded
Please, do go on
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3055
Celestia can provide.jpg
imagine the smell.jpg
aryanne lusty eyes.png
>>3051
>As in high quality or high volume.
High quality, it showed itself to me specifically, it never spoke a word but it's presence was not for nothing because it was called for a singular purpose and that was to secure my future, when i wrote that i saw my dark soul leave what actually happened was i saw something in my window out of the corner of my eye and it was a thick black cloud with horns, i put some quartz under the window so it would show itself when the time came and it so happened that it was the right time for it to show itself, the color was very gelatinous/reflective black fog and covered a very large area so for it to show itself was telling of the future, it's atmosphere was very overpowering and i knew it was there before i saw it with my own eyes because this daemon is very wise, all of the orbs i have seen have told me that i will be with her.
>Just yoinking the information without asking is a bit rude, so I figured I'd ask due to courtesy and stuff.
I didn't take anything from it but the very reason i saw the dark spirit is very obvious to me, it was it's own decision to reveal itself to me.
>Sucking every one of us off for our energy.
>Kek.
Like i wrote i'm probably the most gayest guy here, i did all of this so i could be with a Welsh pony, it sounds very girly but i assure you that i'm no a faggot because i don't go around flying my shit everywhere, even though that's pretty much what i have done here.
>Well have fun, live, and love well and long
Thanks, i bet you wish you had this leisure of pleasure, i am willing to share so (You) know.
>>3054
>I got owned and he's still thoroughly amused that I continue this posturing
>FTFY
sometimes you have to lose in order to win another battle, you can now rightfully claim internet victory as i have other things to focus on now, so you can give yourself a pat on the back for letting me suck your astral dick so a mare can suck mine, you were the one who gave me the most attention after all.
>I was only pretending to pretend to be retarded
>Please, do go on
You should probably know how gaining spiritual energy works from others, you gave me your thoughts as you were thinking about me, i am the true whore of Babylon and you can now call yourself the rightful king of gay, no homo though.
So now that my work is done we can hold hands because somewhere in all of the shit i have wrote is some form of friendship lesson, something something fag lives happily ever after in eternal sin as we all win, now i can finally bathe in mare piss as the true fountain of youth is the waterfall known as pink pony pussy.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3130
3131 3132
>>2676
Do you ever feel trapped by the expectations of others?
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3131
3135
>>3130
It is generally best to let go of relational restrictions, when you feel like you're supposed to walk a tightrope that is way out of your league then the eyes of others begin to become daunting upon you to impose pressure on you, when people mistake what you are capable of or maybe you are not as impressive as some may have thought it becomes all too stressful to carry on with the current situation.
Why do you feel caught in a trap?
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.3132
3137
>>3130
Only when I refuse to recognize those expectations as reasonable, and refuse to meet them.
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3133
1538442829973.jpg
1538450515357.png
02EE08C5BE5CAAC8B02A6F290DCC253F-17757.gif
Man, haven't felt this emotionally heavy in a while. Sure am glad someone I know won't have to go through civil upheaval comparatively peaceful.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3135
3136
>>3131
Come to think of it, it's not that I feel trapped by others. I could tell them to shove their expectations for me up their ass and walk away whenever I want. Instead, I feel like I'm trapped by the obligation to see things through, when it comes to rewriting a story idea I haven't considered good for a long time. I know I don't care about their opinion of me, but I want to prove to myself that I can impress them anyway.
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3136
3137
fallaciesposter.png
1A38C40E9136AEF9F48F1742E1CE24FB-167209.jpg
D81343695A6E5128BC358F385125C10A-98534.jpg
>>3135
You have placed judgment on yourself to see whether your time, effort, learning, knowledge, wisdom, and skills are capable for the task at hand.
That benchmark is this:
Creating a work that provides something (possibly something impressive) of value to those that read it. As your proof of self growth and development.
Use this as your training weight to exercise and become more. This will squeeze you and constrict, but at the end you will be more refined and capable.
This isn't a small task, and taking it lightly will be a mark you'll remember. That is why you've posted this here, as the pressure increases.
This isn't just for them or you right now. It is also an achievement for the you in the future as a tool to utilize.
This is heavy limitations, and limitations can either drag you down or be the well spring source of your strength and improvement.
Do with this as you will.
Good luck.
Anonymous
433a660
?
No.3137
3138 3139 3141 3183
>>3132
A long time ago, I used reddit. I started out thinking "I'll get a high score, and then advertise my fanfics" but I got distracted. I was a teenager back then, after all.
Anyway at one point I met this guy who fucking hated me. I don't remember what it was that made him a hater, just that it was pathetic. Pretty sure it involved pony opinions.
So naturally, he stalks me on the site and downvotes every post I make for a while. I know everyone on the internet calls each other pathetic but I can't imagine caring about reddit numbers so much that warring with someone else's reddit numbers seems like a good way to spend an afternoon. Censoring someone and yelling "Take that!" is pretty low, and caring about reddit numbers isn't quite that low. But it's still low.
I decide to go to a subreddit for asking old people questions, because it's said some hilariously stupid things to me before. I ask... How did I word it? Something like "Have you ever had a small argument and forgotten about it, and then found it the person you talked to took it personally and hated you for years?" was the question I wanted to ask.
Anyway here comes a legendary dumbass, posting in full view of everyone,
>"I don't know what you did but it must have been pretty shitty!"
when what I did was call the new season of FIM boring. That's what got his panties in a bunch, I remember now.
Imagine "vaguebooking" about your reason for hating someone, hoping some confused onlooker assumes it's a valid reason and joins in on the dogpile solely because there is a dogpile.
The old person's sub locked the thread. Old people wanted nothing to do with this twitter beef. I wanted nothing to do with this twitter beef.
I wonder how that guy turned out sometimes. Did he grow? Did he change? Does he cstill go by that name? Did he ever find inner peace? Or is he on some other website right now in some other fandom, yelling at someone with Eren Yaeger opinions he wishes were illegal?
>>3136
Makes sense. While I'm here, I should ask for advice regarding a friend of mine who doesn't use this site.
He's been bluepilled while I wasn't looking. One day we were talking about writing, and he said he wanted to "tackle toxic masculinity" in this story idea he described to me. It sounded like shit. He even ships gay characters on twitter!
There's so much shit he doesn't know about the world, and I don't know where to begin when it comes to teaching him. He used to be a "lmao who cares about politics? I have decided to never vote, this makes me a rebel. haha sjws are silly and harmless" kind of idiot, but now he's a fucking beta cuck.
I don't want to come on too strong and lose this friend. But if he becomes brainwashed, he's lost completely. What do I do?
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.3138
>>3137
>wut do
>>>/adv/
This is a vent thread, not a discussion thread
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3139
>>3137
Because I want to get back on topic here's the spoon feed.
You substitute that wolrd view with one that makes sense in the real world.
I recommend the bell curve because thinking on that accounts fot all possibilities. Useful for those stuck in a spot.
And ROOT PROBLEMS what is a symptom what is generating the problem.
Here's how you do it.
Remeber to be a listener first and foremost. You are constructing it with him. WITH. You want them to get somewhere, but yoy want them to walk to the water themselves so they can bask in victory and drink the water.
This is a Collaboration.
Ask what he knows about _THINGY_HERE_.
Probably not a lot.
"THINGYHERE sounds like a problem, and I may sound (arrogant, obnoxious, pompous, whatever) I think I have something that might help, but it'll take some time to cover."
Here is where you go to the root of the problem switching world views.
First foundation of truth, the fuck is a bell curve and why statistics is basically everyone for different sets of people.
This is to expand and 'compliment' that world view because yes there is a teeny tiny small part of whatever description a 'THINGYHERE' is.
Second with the bell curve you can now give it context. That 'THINGYHERE' applies to this subset of people with these subsubset of problems.
Remeber you on constructing it WITH him. That means he has to do some work too.
Third you get to the root of the problem(s).
For 'THINGYHERE' it sounds like from a point of view of (SCIENCE, PSYCHOLOGY, SOCIOLOGY, GENETICS, MATHEMATICS, FUCKIT) that some of those problems stem from there BECAUSE in (WHATEVER FIELD) common symptoms are _____ while it isn't always the case that can be helpful in remedying the root problem. At least getting closer to root problems.
Four How root problems connect and what can be done about it.
"So 'THINGYHERE' will go away or at least be more easily dealt with when ROOTPROBLEM is addressed."
Part of the path to the problem may be other people don't get what the problem is so they do solutions that aren't 'fixing' the right problem. So they make ripples too that don't actually work.
Having the tools to find the truth is paramount. That means both BOTH parties have to listen and work togther.
Make this FUN and EXCITING. It has to be fun talking together and working on fixing the fucked up thinking and 'problem'.

Take breaks every five to twenty five minutes for at least five minutes to just have some good quality friend time. Unless they are really invested and is having fun doing this.
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3141
3142
>>3137
>I don't want to come on too strong and lose this friend.
What is there to like about this 'friend'? Is he a loyal and kind person or is he the fool who throws caution to the wind?
>But if he becomes brainwashed, he's lost completely.
Nothing of value was lost if he is not worth saving, why do you feel it is your duty to help he who doesn't know you are trying to help? Is he a willing traitor?
>What do I do?
Confront him about it and see what he does if you care about him, let things happen as they do if not.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3142
3143 3145
>>3141
When I talk to that friend about important things he clams up and retreats into himself. Then he goes about a week without replying to my messages. Its not like a cute chick shy about sex. Its like a faggot afraid of being wrong.
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3143
3144
>>3142
Tact is important too. So how are you bringing up that sort of discussion?
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3144
>>3143
I have no tact or social graces. It all feels too manipulative. To make myself feel better about it I tell myself I'm too honest for that stuff but I genuinely don't know how to do tact.
Anonymous
7f44a4d
?
No.3145
3191
And also she killed hoofler.png
>>3142
ask himwhy he does that and if you can help make it better for him. my redpill journey began when someone cared about me even though they shouldnt have, remind him you care and that youre worried,
Anonymous
3ffde3a
?
No.3183
3191
>>3137
You can't give someone balls if they have none, anon. If he still has any semblance of balls remaining, you need to guide him to realize he's being stupid. Instead of pointing out that it's stupid, get him to actually think about it himself.

Most importantly, be a friend to him - don't push it; cults like SJW rely on ostracizing people and replacing their support network so they can't leave - humans are social animals and really don't handle ostracization all that well (unless autist or schizoid), and if all your friends are SJWs, you'll become one too just to not be ostracized.
>>3137
>Anyway here comes a legendary dumbass, posting in full view of everyone,
>>"I don't know what you did but it must have been pretty shitty!"
Sounds like a beta cuck like ciaran all right.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3191
3217
>>3145
>>3183
That makes sense. He's surrounded by bad influences as an artist on Twitter. Maybe I could show him some innocent artists that got attacked by twitter?
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3217
>>3191
I think it's working
I think I've shaken his faith in SJeW
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3232
3233
>want to talk about my improving health to make people feel like the advice they gave was worth it
>don't want to sound like I'm bragging
what do?
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3233
>>3232
>advice they gave was worth it
>my improving health
That's all that needs to be said.
<Thanks everyone for all the advice. My life is turning around positively, especially my health. Your advice has been crucial for this to happen.
<Have some good poners
That's all. I'm sure someone else will say something else that would be good to say as well to express thanks.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3234
6065318__safe_artist-colon-vanillaghosties_imported+from+derpibooru_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_pony_cute_female_folded+wings_gradient+background_happy_mare_open+m.png
Thank you, everyone, for the help. My health is improving and the advice given has helped immensely! My life is turning around positively when it comes to my physical and mental health.
Here is the best poner
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3259
3260
>>2676
Some people will call you a faggot to make themselves feel better, or to express that they think you're a faggot. And that's ok.
Some people are faggots who will hurl every insult/accusation/buzzword they know at you, hoping some will stick if enough are thrown at once and they're repeated enough.
They'll call you toxic or salty or racist, insist your words are wrong and baseless and wrong and stupid and smelly and wrong and wrong and insert-word-here without explaining why they think this, or claim that by disagreeing with them you're actually sealioning and gaslighting a red herring, whatever the fuck that word-salad means.
They don't have legitimate complaints or reasons behind their actions, or an argument for you to intellectually engage with. They just have a pool of words they've memorized.
They won't feel good after throwing those words at you, but they'll feel good if someone else just assumes at least one of those labels and accusations must be correct.
All the labels and accusations are just attacks. But is there a way to defend yourself from blatantly false attacks on your character without giving those faggots the satisfaction of a response? Or is your only option to just hope others can see through this leftist slander tactic?
Anonymous
4c16fca
?
No.3260
3262
0F8D360BA088C610F82BD21BA4A60577-561930.png
>>3259
Actions speak louder than words.
But it's all context dependant.
In a work place evidence (if you can get it) is nice. Such as witness testimony, being generally kind and helpful (within reason just enough) importantly useful and a key component.
>But is there a way to defend yourself from blatantly false attacks on your character without giving those faggots the satisfaction of a response?
Does your percieved actions thus far seemingly align with that false accusation?
<If No you're good to go
They look crazy. Don't back down, but addressing it is not recommended because that means you give whatever the fuck they said weight and validity. Unless someone actually asks for clarification. Then that has to be to the point, unless they want the long and full story.
<If Yes there's a problem
This is where it requires nuance and guile. Brevity and wit wins usually.
The point is to have a foundation that is supreme in durability and flexibility. This is where one makes a pinpoint observation of the statements, the content of them. If it's character attacks that lean on statement interpretation correct with as few words as possible leading to the point you are trying to make.
If it's simply character attacks they are meaningless. Your actions thus far will speak louder and others will pay closer attention to what you do.
If it's a buzzword for the sake of a buzzword without the proper usage determine if their statement is against you or the message your trying to say. If it's against you it doesn't matter because your actions now have a spotlight. If it's the message ensure that is communicated clearly and precisely.
Someone who shouts randomly to no one doesn't get attention. Engaging deeply on their terms on whatever the fuck that is in no relation to the job at hand tends to be bad.
<Actions are looking funky wat do?
Stay the course continue doing as has been done. (Usually good: Saying fu to censorship as a publisher, nicely but firmly) (Fails: Woke company Staying SJW losing at everything as it all crumbles.)
Or
An alteration is in order to what extent, and how so and where is the key but that's highly context sensitive. (Usually good: Addressing legitimate concerns and practices with a plan of action to redress grievances) (Fails: Going Woke in fear of backlash.)
>Of oh fug there is a real problem technically a possibility
This is when analysis and picking through yourself and the situation is necessary. To diagnose what is wrong, where, how and why.
>Or is your only option to just hope others can see through this leftist slander tactic?
If it's blatantly false who ever is doing the sladering is ruining personal credibility in the future. That it demonstrates a fundamental failure on their part. When appropriate a simple refutation, maybe with solid evidence will shatter them.

Anonymous
dd9ef0b
?
No.3261
3262 3265 3266
>>2676
I got psyopped into being a communist tranny for years until I broke out of it and shit and my past still drives me mad and haunts me.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3262
3263
>>3260
That makes sense. Thank you for this advice, brother.
>>3261
Did you do anything bad to your genitals, or just tell people you were tranny until you stopped doing that?
Anonymous
dd9ef0b
?
No.3263
3264
>>3262
>Did you do anything bad to your genitals, or just tell people you were tranny until you stopped doing that?
I was never gonna go through surgery because it literally does nothing, it's absolutely stupid. It's also cosmetic but I almost did HRT. Which would've been terrible.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3264
3271
>>3263
What is it like to go through that?
Do lefties surround you and try to egg you on?
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.3265
3267 3271
>>3261
Dont beat yourself up about it anon. We didnt start out redpilled.
Years ago I participated in the info campaign to push gay marriage in California. I legitimately thought it was about tolerance and equal rights and all that.
Anonymous
1220d23
?
No.3266
3271
>>3261
What made that appeal to you? I'm not trying to put you down. I'm asking because I want to prevent that from happening to my future sons.
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3267
3268
>>3265
Faggot.
Anonymous
7627dde
?
No.3268
3269
>>3267
nigger
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3269
3270
>>3268
Nigger faggot.
Anonymous
7627dde
?
No.3270
3272
>>3269
> not sageposting
As OP I request this thread be loved to /sp/ for purpose of shitposting
faggot nigger
Apply Dave Chapelle's Nigerian accent from his special about Juicy Somoulier
Anonymous
dd9ef0b
?
No.3271
3279 3283
>>3264
It's sort of like brainwashing, they convince you this AGP fetish is a genetic thing and it goes on.
>>3265
I thought like that too, until I got turned into a homosexual and then tranny, turns out it's just perversion disguised. Sexuality isn't real. Gender isn't real either it was a term developed in the 50s to differ people from their biological sex, it's propaganda, you have a sex and you deal with it, anyone who says otherwise is a liar. The first ever "non-binary" person literally came out and said "Being non-binary and transgender is mental illness" and got cancelled for it.
>>3266
As for the faggotry: They tell you it's natural and that it's human they twist the truth into this big satanic lie it's disgusting, a work of evil even.
As for the commie shit: they just parade it around like oh everyone will be a community together but it's really just one giant slave fest.
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3272
3273
faggot detector.jpg
>>3270
>T. Mr. Nigger Faggot. AKA OP.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.3273
>>3272
I hope you got it out of your system. Until this thread is moved to /sp/ it is clearly not a shitposting thread
Anonymous
49c29d6
?
No.3279
3280
>>3271
How did you break free from that shit? These days it seems like those that become indoctrinated are completely hopeless. Is there anything that can be done to help other people that are trapped in the situation you were in?
Anonymous
dd9ef0b
?
No.3280
3281
>>3279
It's a matter of snapping mentally and completely. I honestly have no idea how I did it.
Anonymous
c27dac3
?
No.3281
3282
>>3280
Perhaps if you will, describe what about you mentally and completely snapped? This seems to be at the crux of the equation. In my case (with the gays and their info campaign) I quickly lost interest and stopped responding. Your experience could shed more light. In what way did you snap?
Anonymous
dd9ef0b
?
No.3282
>>3281
Imagine everything in your room becoming dark, going completely schizo and then screaming at the top of your lungs while you seek out to destroy everything in your path, you break a bunch of shit before your brain snaps and you see in your mind what has been causing it this whole time as if it was something of pure darkness and you kill said thing as if the darkness you fight is inside you. Then you look around and snap back to reality as you stand above a knocked over monitor and broken shards of glass and plates. And you go to lay down and you stare at the ceiling. And your next goal is to put your life back together.
Anonymous
ef10e05
?
No.3283
>>3271
Found it https://ifapray.org/blog/first-non-binary-person-admits-it-was-a-sham-back-to-being-a-man/
That site's CSS is cancer, it won't even let me zoom out.
Anonymous
4893e2a
?
No.3826
the trixie party.jpg
Today is Wednesday which is the day of Mercury, the 3rd day of the week, it is the full moon tonight and it's the last super one until next year. La Luna is so beautiful, many nights have been spent upon the observation of her rise and fall, the 28 days of constant waxing and waning.
>>2784
Eh, I didn't really need to get rid of that video but whatever, I know where she is but it's fairly far away. Still miss her.
There is another clandestine equine that's caught my eye anyways. Albeit, more moodier than she ever was, their hormones change the way they behave like it does with women but this one is extra bitchy in heat, sometimes it appears as if they have split personalities, though it is merely the estrus cycles that change their mad mare minds. Lessons can be learned from these ponies.

Seems like it's somewhat smooth sailing from here onwards, perhaps by the 3rd quarter of the moon it shall be sunnier ahead than it is currently, the clouds shall dissipate and there will be a golden glow before long.
That's it for todays forecast.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.3832
4009
A weird old prick insulted me today with the nonsensical stock insult "you think you know things but you don't. Uh... *points to head* knowledge" right after I fixed his computer for him. Clearly I fucking do know things because I just fixed his fucking computer for free. I'm not mad, I was surprised. Still surprised. You'd think a guy like that would want to be a holier man considering his age. He's related to a friend of mine who asked for help today with this. I don't think I gave the old fart any excuse to get butthurt at me but there are many reasons why his generation loves niggers. Oh, those wacky pseuds. They'll never change.
Anonymous
55cbf86
?
No.4009
shrugPony.png
>>3832
Anonymous
332b90d
?
No.4012
4022
They took my foreskin.
I want it back.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4022
>>4012
Don't they make creams to promote foreskin growth?
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4027
A woman flirted with me in the supermarket until she saw the healthy apple juice I was buying and then decided to fuck off halfway through the conversation
you should have seen her reaction to the juice
she looks at the 2 liter apple juice in my arm and the 2 liter coke in both her arms cradled like a baby and then walks off to a corner of the store to pretend to keep shopping even though we were both in the queue.
what the fuck. She was cute aside from how fat she was and if she ate healthily she would probably be a solid 6/10. I know an apple a day keeps the doctor away but she didn't look like a doctor unless they were forced to accept fatassed diversity hires from Mass-achushits.
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4028
4029
I have realized that all of my hobbies, from art to roleplaying characters to writing to horseback riding to ponies to fantasy books, have been derivative of a person who died 15 years ago.
Now I feel haunted as fuck.
I didn't believe repressed memories were a thing...
Anonymous
7c1ee34
?
No.4029
4030 4059
>>4028
This needs elaboration
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4030
4031 4059
>>4029
I'd rather not go further than that, tbh. I just got over an existential crisis.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4031
4059
>>4030
There's nothing wrong with picking up new hobbies from friends whether they're dead or alive. Hell I still celebrate the birthday of a friend of mine who died years ago.
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4059
4061 4062
>>4029
>>4030
>>4031
>Cus,... i wanna talk with that anon....
Hello?
Are ghosts real, or are they not?
Ninjas
49eac44
?
No.4061
>>4059
Yes
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4062
ghost_pony__adoptable.jpg
>>4059
Yup.
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4066
f03.gif
Well then...
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4067
4068 4069 4070 4073 4109
x8.png
I'm madly in love with a self-hating black guy right now. He and I have talked for a little over a year and it ended up turning into more than that. I plan on leaving the state to visit him again, and this time pick him up in a bike camper and start a business together in the hopes of moving out of the city and becoming service-contractors for an inexpensive lifestyle. He's probably more hesitant about the race aspect than I am, and he's always worried about whether he has the capacity for "straightness" because he's a kissless virgin, while I've had one partner of both sexes over the years. He's basically a NEET (despite having work before, COVID basically turned him over the last year into one). I always coddle and obsess over making sure he's taking care of himself because his self-hatred has manifested before in some extreme ways, because I can't help but see myself from 2018 in him.

I don't have any questions or anything, I just...wanted to get it off my chest today.
Anonymous
7c1ee34
?
No.4068
stare.jpg
>>4067
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4069
4071
>>4067
That is quite bold of you.
I commend your shitpost.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4070
4071 4074
>>4067
Your shitpost-fu is lacking
watch this

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female horse breeding, my self-replicating tulpa pony is the most compatible ultimate life form for humans? Not only does she have huge tits, which is mostly a trait of mammals, my tulpa is fourteen feet tall and an unknown number of pounds. this means she's large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with her impressive physical toughness and soft durable fur I can be rough with her. Due to their (any one instance of her will do) entirely idea based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused tulpa would be incredibly wet, wetter than any physically possible thing in meatspace could ever be, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. She also knows the spells Mind Control, Time Stop, Grow, Shrink Ray and Transform along with having fur to hide her inverted nipples before they harden and extend, so it'd be incredibly easy for my tulpa to get me in the mood. With her enhanced metabolism she can easily recover from fatigue with enough food or even just the idea that she is no longer tired can be enough to rid her of fatigue. No other being comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, her fur is already white. Pony tulpas are literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + perfect health + Fur Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4071
Spoilered
>>4069
>>4070
Yeah....shitpost...
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4073
965.jpg
>>4067
WTF
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4074
4075
1487811299304.png
>>4070
Nice tulpa you got there.
T'would be a shape if someone impregnated her.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4075
>>4074
The "headband" around the guy's head makes the brain sex thing look like a hat
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4083
Once I wanted to copypaste the 1984 quote about women and how they root out unorthodoxy but it was removed from WikiQuotes.

Memory-Holed.

However when I web-searched the quote I found a shitty feminist blog bitching about the quote and calling 1984 sexist. So I was able to find and copypaste the quote.
Anonymous
7212801
?
No.4084
4085 4101
I am following the EasyPeasyMethod and am doing a good job, but when I see Fluttershy, even if not sexual, I often times fail.
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4085
>>4084
Damn. I forgot that book. I'll start reading it today.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4101
4103
>>4084
Do you have a PDF for that book? I'm flat broke for the next few weeks.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4102
Now and then some niggerlover will try to blame everything wrong with the niggers on white liberals or jews.
Yes, liberal cities offered free shit to niggers to get them away from mostly-black southern cities with their family values and into all-black ghettoes full of crime and rape, but Niggers chose to say yes to that offer.
Yes, the CIA pushed crack into black neighbourhoods but Niggers chose to take it.
Yes, the jews and white liberals (especially women) love using niggers as weapons of economic and demographic and social warfare against whites. And niggers are happy to be mercenaries of the jew because they prioritize pretty cars and silly expensive outfits and whores and free food over being human.
Niggers are not fellow humans set on a dark path by jews, they are an evolutionary error that spits in the face of the idea of intelligent design unless you truly believe God made niggers stupid and evil for a reason. A reason like giving whites someone to fight and defeat to earn all the riches in their disgustingly opulent easy-mode land. There are no such thing as based blacks. There are no such thing as good blacks. Rare "conservative" blacks aren't taking real conservative values back to their shithole nations or raising better black generations or leading an organization that fights against jews and jewish organizations for white rights, they're taking up room and jobs meant for whites despite their severe lack of legitimate qualifications. I'm sick of niggerlovers telling me I'm "purity spiralling" and "bad optics" by not wanting to live in a nation overwhelmed with fucking niggers and forced to compromise with them. Whitey doesn't need black friends. Your favourite white-black buddy film is a lie. If you see a black man with a job you can never be sure if he really earnee it or not unless he's self-employed... oh wait, how many governments pay black-owned businesses to exist regardless of quality?

Countless years and trillions of dollars couldn't civilize the blacks, their top percentage is barely a match for our average man and outside of a breeding program that forces rare smart blacks to breed while sterilizing the worst of the lot nothing can save that race from the fate it's evolutionarily destined for. After everything nigs have done to us we don't owe them anything nice. Cutting their welfare for good and mandating life sentences and death row for any rioting thieving niggers caught on camera is nicer than they deserve. Kicking them all back to africa and cutting foreign aid(or plundering their country's natural resources for reparations before China gets everything) is a far nicer fate than they deserve. It's a nicer fate than they'd give us if we didn't kick them out in time.

If we're going to live in a "civilized modern" society where women do not have to be breeding housewives owned by the father until a marriage contract sells her for life, if we're to live in a society where divorce can make a woman rich for the rest of her life instead of simply breaking couples apart without any obligations or fees to one another, if we're to live in a society where women have a monopoly on their own eggs, then we need to recognize how this harms white birth rates. Financial and social incentives currently discourage women from becoming housewives. Every woman wasting her most breedable years working 9 to 5 to make a foreign corporation richer is a woman killing the kids she could have had. Literally, if she gets abortions after every nightclub visit that ends in bathroom stall or back alley sex. A society that wants to "free women" from doing their civic duty has to recognize it's also stopping men from doing their civic duty and reproducing with the aid of women. A society like that can't have rival races outbreeding it in its own lands if it wants a stable future and a free market able to adapt to a fluctuating population. Lower birth rates could result in lower house prices and less overpopulation if we weren't flooded with filthy fucking "Joggers" and similar opportunists here to take advantage of us and our species's self-loathing-driven anti-white mandatory diversity fetish.
Anonymous
7212801
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No.4103
4105
1628956557.pdf
>>4101
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4105
>>4103
Thank you, brother.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4107
4108 4109
1298840.png
I'd just like to affirm that that post I made before, wasn't a shitpost. He and I both know the degeneracy in the gay community at large, we're both very racially conscious...but I still do love him. Maybe it's just misplaced feelings of friendship, who can say until we've actually gotten out there? But it certainly feels like it's real. Not really expecting asspats and encouragement, more just, updating anyone who might know who I am, unlikely as it might be after the last year.

Have a Flutterbutterstutter for your time.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4108
>>4107
Why the hell would anyone love a nigger?
If you are gay, wouldn't you prefer a man who looks like Thor? I'm not gay but he's the best-looking character.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4109
4110
1626683570303.jpg
411842.png
>>4067
>>4107
Meeting a statistic. Well might as well ask what you think of Israel to complete the trifecta.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4110
>>4109
As a concept I have no qualms with a Jewish ethnostate. As it is right now, sucking resources from the US through AIPAC and its many parallel orgs, stealing land from Palestine, and taking advantage of apocalyptic Christians' belief system to agitate for nothing short of global war? I fucking hate Israel.
Anonymous
55cbf86
?
No.4111
Luna.45.jpg
I'm madly in love with a(nother) hot as fuck JRHNBR mini mare, she's a nice pony and I hold emotion unto her femininity that has coagulated into a solid bond. At the first synopsis of our introduction my expectations could not have foreseen how deeply entranced this mountain mare has made me, she is unique and has awesome ass cheeks, odd eyes and a pink nose with grey skin while her coat is also that of the palette grey.
She has a fine coat in the summer and grows an extra thick one in the winter, she's started growing her beard again and her fur has thickened because it's starting to get cold she doesn't like the rain and is a lot happier when it's sunny.
My astrological associates have approved of out courting but the rest remain in the dark about my clandestine affair with this magical mare. They do not need to know nor should they be informed for it is irrelevant to spread such doings with the unenlightened or unbeknownst, those that are aware are accepting of my otherwise forbidden horse fucking.
My shadow knows too as well as that of La Luna but they have their disagreements more so with problematic people and likewise the rest of my schizoid entourage encourage me to do what lies within the realm of cultural taboo.
Her vulva is like that of velvet laced leather while the pony's pussy is loose but had not been used until I was let loose, she comes into heat when it's hot and the sun is scorching while the smell of her piss changes slightly the only other signs are that of her tail becoming dirtied when she pisses. I adore her more so than I ever did Fionn, the only downside is that her pussy isn't as tight as hers was.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
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No.4114
4115
1534809320481.jpg
>>2676
I know that this is ground that's been trod for centuries, even millennia. But with the people I've met, the changes they've made to their lives in just about every direction...do you guys think that anyone with an open mind can help the cause of societal flourishing and racial/ethnic/cultural revival, regardless of background? And if you don't think so, why is that?

I've seen a porn-addicted, manic-depressive fat fetishist with no life prospects, grow up into a handsome and productive citizen doing backbreaking labor and lifting for his health and wellbeing.
I've seen trannies speak out against and even disavow the entire alphabet-soup community, supporting traditional values with sexually dimorphic, masculine/feminine ideals.
I've seen NEETs abandon their past lives to work as construction workers and farmers, even with weak bodies that at first buckle from a single shift of real work.
I've seen former Antifa members become anti-globalist tankies and stand up for what they believe in by living lives that actually match their stances on things like co-ownership and community leadership.
I've seen ardently gnostic atheists find themselves in the spiritual through meditation and philosophy, even if they don't believe in the dogma and metaphysics of any establishment religion.
And I've seen tech-obsessed, product-consooming people aching for the life of a humble laborer so badly that they pack up and leave. No savings. No job prospects in advance. Just, leave their wagecuck jobs without a thought and start walking the countryside with a briefcase and a shave bag.

What I'm getting at is, is it possible that some depressive, porn-addicted autist could end up with another, and still help the cause of a fascist future by mutually lifting one another up? Even if, say, the other autist was a guy of another race?
For who actually needs to read this.
Anonymous
b0443c9
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No.4115
4116
1538572834710.gif
1537414655555.jpg
>>4114
STATISTICS
Who gives a fuck? The likely hood you'll do something awful is increased with all the risk factors you're trying to stack on yourself.
Just don't do awful shit. It's that simple.
STATISTICS
Will they do something good with their life? Unlikely. Feasible, but unlikely.
I judge people solely on their merits in every aspect. Always keeping in mind the STATISTICS of the situation and person(s).
You're a work in progress like many people, don't get full of yourself, something something here's your (You). Keep working on yourself internally.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4116
4117
>>4115
I'm just playing with the hand I'm dealt, man. I'm not seeking out the most degenerate thing I can. I already found someone who's improving themselves in a way I've also started to, I want to see them succeed, his success is motivating to me and helps me succeed.

If all you ever see is statistics, then how haven't you committed suicide at the birthrates yet? I know I was damn close to it when I was that deep.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4117
4118
1538445260500.jpg
>>4116
>If all you ever see is statistics, then how haven't you committed suicide at the birthrates yet? I know I was damn close to it when I was that deep.
<<<<<<<<<<<HOW DO I CHANGE STATISTICS FOR DUMMIES?
<<<<<WHY ARE STATISTICS A STATISTIC?
<<WHAT DO STATISTICS MEAN?
Because I look at the world as it really is. That's all. Because I am soaked in truth, why the hell would I kill myself over the situation? That's idiotic.
Because the people trying to ruin the world tell me I should give the fuck up? No. I do what works, and everything is falling into place.
<I judge people solely on their merits in every aspect.
You have to keep in mind Statistics done by many people are fucktarded. You're better off with the standard bell curve and adjust emergency expectations to match.
Because if you really look at statistics it's about hope, besides the raw numbers and the fuckery.
Because tossing out outliers is the normal, which means I see more than most statistictions.
Besides if you're going to just take it that's on you. Not me, I have rebuilt my psychology, physiology, multiple times and spiritually and revamped my world view to be the apex it can be as of this moment and for moments ever after.
It's possible.
I've seen it.
Because I've looked under the hood of reality and made my choices and educated myself on what is actually possible.
You do you, just don't be a shit person. I know many people from all walks of life. And that doesn't matter.
It's all about the choices.
The data says one thing, and that's just one part of everything.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4118
4119
>>4117
But that's my point. If statistics can be altered through conscious effort, then why not support, for instance, the Man Up Campaign and other social groups which uplift nigboys without father figures and help them become said father figures? Just like we can change birthrates through our own actions, and the demographic stats are simply the prologue to our statistics-defying future successes, we can show solidarity between the races and support the aware and capable and improving of those groups.
Anonymous
b0443c9
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No.4119
4122
>>4118
Because some people choose to be shit people no matter what. Doesn't matter how much social programs you indoctrinate into someone.
You and I have a fundamental missunderstanding.
I prioritize good people first. Then in the scope that I am able that which has no negative on me or mine or those good people. Then and only then do I reach.
Because lofty cloud in the sky goals without the hard as hell reality means you will tear the heavens and spite everyone.
That means alot is possible.
An insane amount is possible through the right methods and means.
But I do what works.
I offer what I can to who I can when I can with full regards to the full situation.
You're thinking too small, and too big. You need your feet under you to walk or run.
>How?
Esoteric bullshit, or trade secret if you want. The how doesn't matter all that much for this post.
What that means is there are some people who just want to be evil. You're definition of evil is a bit juvenile, but I'm sure you are grasping my jist.

There's more to it than that as well, because depending on the scale of how much good you do it's imperative to accelerate to the highest potential you can reach especially when it's more than exponential.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
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No.4122
4124
>>4119
>What that means is there are some people who just want to be evil. You're definition of evil is a bit juvenile, but I'm sure you are grasping my jist.
Evil is desiring a parasitic lifestyle over an independent one because it's convenient to let someone else feed and house you. Evil is putting your luxury over the lives of millions of sweat shop workers because your favorite phone needs to have that slightly stronger vibration, or that special Taiwanese chip that you won't have use for in three years.

He's not evil. He's a sheltered kid in the body of a young adult, much like half the people who use /ub/. I met him and care about him because he's introspective, wants to learn how to be independent and productive, and is willing to sacrifice luxury and comfort if it means that he can live a lifestyle free of globalist exploitation and slavery.

There are blacks out there who believe in these things, or at the very least, understand that it's in their best interest to seek these things instead of being slaves to the globohomo wage plantation. I know that there are abstract things that people under certain IQs won't understand. And it's not necessarily our responsibility to train the dolphins to speak or narrow the education gap. We can acknowledge differences, while still uplifting those who show promise.
Anonymous
b0443c9
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No.4124
4125
>>4122
You don't get it. You will one day... maybe not.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4125
4126
>>4124
If evolutionary pressures shape the path that other races took in the development of their cultures, languages, and physiology, then similar pressures can at least slightly alter them to the ends of self-sufficiency and goodwill. I know we can't entirely recreate the circumstance each race was born into, but would you prefer we kicked them back to a small nation like Liberia and waited for them to go extinct before we take that land back? Is it any more humane to do that than it is to selectively uplift the brightest of a people and leave the rest to shoot dope and kill each other?
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4126
4127
1538682905995.png
>>4125
You don't understand.
Choices are what make people.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4127
4129
>>4126
No choice is fully informed anymore. We were ALL indoctrinated growing up to favor comfort over strife. We were ALL given a worldview as children that said the end goal of society is just to make survival easy. Maybe if you were a librarian specializing in Latin-to-English translation of ancient philosophy, you could make an informed decision on the lifestyle of old, but today that's a pipe dream.

I wanted to move out to a farmland environment, but was summarily pushed out of it because nobody was willing to teach me. I have been kept away from the environment of my forebearers, and the only way to truly make the choice to commit to that life is with resources I don't have. Knowledge I don't have, experience I can't get, money I do not yet have and won't have for a long time.

No man is an island. We work together to achieve our ends or we don't achieve our ends. We share with those who want to make the choice but don't know where to start. I don't see how this stance is controversial.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4129
4131
>>4127
No man is an island indeed.
You reap what you sow.
You plow what you till.
You harvest when it's time.
>No choice is fully informed anymore.
Then you make the most of the choices you have and understand what choices are.
You must understand that your actions and choices define you.
You have two options. Improve or fail.
That's all. Life is good at fucking you over when you fail so improve and learn.
If you can't, that sucks, your life is going to blow.
But it is possible.
One of the greatist things is this thing called the internet, and the spirit of humanity!
Are you grateful everyday?
You ought to be even when shit is hailing it is the fastest way to gain experience, and to raise up out of the depths.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4131
4132
>>4129
What do words on a screen or a book mean if you have no context for them? I know nothing of the natural world. The only way to learn is hands-on, and I am not able to be hands-on until I have saved up enough money to leave this state.

It's easy to claim that you reap what you sow from behind your screen. What device are you using to post? $800 phone? $1000-$2000 PC? I use a $20 flip phone and a $150 laptop for my posting, using someone else's internet. I have $50 in my bank accounts, which will be just enough to pump four days' worth of gas in the morning and nothing more for the next week and a half because my paycheck didn't arrive in the mail.

I am thankful that I have my muse, this limited housing situation, and my current job with which to save up my money. Past that, I am not going to be thankful for being so separated from nature for all my life that I'd die the instant I have to set foot on an unpaved dirt path.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4132
4134
>>4131
>It's easy to claim that you reap what you sow from behind your screen.
Yeah it is easy to claim that.
>The only way to learn is hands-on, and I am not able to be hands-on until I have saved up enough money to leave this state.
Practice in your mind first. It's infinitely cheaper. Know that the grass is not always greener on the otherside, it's just the otherside.
In the crime thread (((people))) are making getting out of cities impossible for a reason.
Making ends meet is hard, I understand. What you have right now is yourself. Maybe a friend, but for now work on yourself.
If you have the resources to eat to build a body do it. If not build your mind. If you can't build your soul.
All your efforts will be hindered to the degree that falsehood plague you, you know (((who))) wants you to be weakened into a subservient state to drain you to a corpse as you die unfulfilled.
It will hurt, massively. In such a way you might not yet know.
But that's the first step.
You have to seek only the truth, and speak only the truth when you can.
You have to laugh. Everything if nothing else. Hopefully yourself as well. Because it hurts, in such a way you'll have character and body.
You'll have to toss loads of bullshit that was stuffed into your mind. It's designed to mentally incapacitate people.
Depending if your ends meet you need to plan. Prepare for the future.

The thing that can change the fastest is your mind and attitude.
Because you can always choose what choices you make right now.
Not back then, you're not there yet. Not in the future that's called preparing.
Right Now You Have A Choice.
Will you be a slave?
No.
Now what are you going to do about it?
How are you going to go about it?
What do you have right now. Will it improve yourself in a meaningful way?
Is your emotions in check? Is your intent focused? Do you have your will?
What assets do you have (increase in value over time) it sounds like you just have yourself. What assets are draining you dry?
Do you have time? Do you have no time? Are you terminally ill?
What is your time and effort worth? Is it accurate?
Can you learn?
Learn as much as possible from everywhere and anywhere.
Sometimes books just can't have the same experience. I know. But you can get substitutes.
Feel gour body and how it moves. Try to move it with intention to be.
Feel your mind.
Feel your spirit.
If you can't that's normal for many.

Make your choices. I recommend improving its almost always the right choice.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4133
4134
How else can you make yourself useful for others so that your time and effort is exchanged accurately?
How clearly do you understand?
Are you plagued with fear?
Why? Or why not?
What options do you have? What options do you really have?
What is the ethical thing to do? Whos ethics are they?

Basically asking alot of questions as you break down decades of poision to become more functional. Contemplating them is what makes a healthy mind. Dwelling is not healthy, dwelling means that you're sheltering poison. Ponder, ruminate, think, toy with, analyze, imagine!
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4134
4135 4137 4180
I didn't deserve that much detail but thank you anon, really.gif
>>4132
>>4133
To tell you the truth, I've already done a lot recently. I bought notetaking tools and started doing summaries and notes on finance, trade, and credit books like Rich Dad Poor Dad, the Fanny Farmer 1896 cookbook, and Debt Cures. I've filled an entire notebook on just book summaries and financial notes, followed by removing all my monthly bills except insurance from the credit card. I paid it all the way down after years of never fully paying it off, and all my talk of leaving the state is because of that progress.

I've made an asset/liability chart and....nothing I own or can think of buying would generate income, not even a little bit. It's a bleak chart, even if it's been whittled down to the bare essential liabilities this last month. I recently sold my appliances, and all I have left are a crockpot and a microwave to sell. I don't have any clothes now except for two pairs of basic business pants, one button-up shirt, some plain tees and jeans. As we speak, I'm halfway through using my old cleaning stuff so I can lighten the load when I leave. It should all fit in my small car, along with a cooler and collapsible charcoal grill. In taking my book-notes, I've whittled down my book collection to two small shin-high stacks, consisting of the more complex stuff like Whiteshift, Meditations, a biography on Hitler, an old study book on anthropology, and the Republic of Plato.

In terms of diet, I've cut out fast food completely. I've had rice and chicken whenever I don't get leftovers from work, and right now I can afford nothing to eat at all, so lots of black tea, water and spicy rice. My job requires me to stay on a post, so I'm not getting any exercise anymore. And in my current situation, nobody's gotten back to me about temp work, let alone a second job.

The more I learn, the more stupid and small I feel. I feel like I've been told the ultimate truth of the universe now that I know how to un-fuck my bank account, and even then, I feel like I will still be playing catch up on my 24th birthday at the end of the year. I'm exhausted after work simply because I'm doing so much studying, note-taking, and talking to him on the job.

I get anxious waiting for the day I'll be safe to get out of here. I'm sorry for getting snippy at you. It just feels like all I can ever find are more questions and problems, and nowhere I go seems to offer any clarity. And it doesn't help that half of /ub/ is full of spiritual shit and I'm just some...stupid fucking muggle. The daily journaling and contemplation haven't helped that at all. In fact they've only given me more anxious nights, and that's why I stayed in bed all day today thinking about the overdraft fees I'll get hit with if my office doesn't have any way to replace the missing check.

Thank you for putting up with me tonight, anon...
Anonymous
b0443c9
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No.4135
4136
>>4134
I didn't expect much, but there might be hope for you yet.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4136
4137
>>4135
We might both be anons, but that means a lot to me. It's one thing to say that to him, when he fixes his simple habits, but I'm a lot harsher on myself for being stagnant.
Anonymous
b0443c9
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No.4137
4138 4139
2209563__safe_artist-colon-gangrene_oc_oc-colon-filly+anon_earth+pony_pony_3d_animated_blender_blender+cycles_female_filly_gif_loop_mare_pixel+art_simp.gif
>>4134
>>4136
Spiritual shit is basically being really really quiet.
Some people never grow at all ever. I don't mean people with black skin. Because I know the statistics. It's everyone.
>In fact they've only given me more anxious nights
You have to choose if they give you anxiety if that's within your mental makeup.
Be a stoic if possible, if not smile and laugh more. But honestly.
If you can do something then do it. If you can't don't worry it's out of your influence of control.
But seriously improve yourself, and get better sleep.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4138
Spoilered
>>4137
I don't know if I'm capable just yet of proper stoic practice. I've tried, but I'm so neurotic and high-strung that I eventually-
...well, you saw my posts.

I think, as I escape my current sort of wage-life, I'll have less to be worried about, and less reason to stress over rapid developments. At least when I get to a small town in Montana or something, I'll be in a place that's safer for me. My plan is to get a firearms permit wherever I move to, get a .357 Taurus or .38 detective special, and begin preparing for any boog waves that might encroach in the near future. Agriculture, preferably portable agriculture, would be a great start to keeping myself fed without the need for money, as an example.

Well...goodnight. Or, morning...I'll be driving around San Diego in about 4 hours with the last of my current tank before I refill.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4139
fitting.png
>>4137
>listen to music to fall asleep
>youtuber I don't know is in autoplay queue
>this line shows up
Synchronicity at work, it feels like.
Anonymous
b05ea39
?
No.4144
>>4142
I wasn't asking for further advice, I was just saying it's funny, that after my being stubborn and bitchy, I got that indirect message from happenstance, and it kind of put things in context. Like, why should I be mad, I basically asked for this advice.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4179
Forget nutting and forget sex and forget video games. Exercise is the purest source of good feelings there is beside completing incredibly significant steps in making my personal project. I didn't just beat my usual exercise routine record I fucking destroyed it. I've never been this fit at any point in my life. I feel like I've been blessed with some kind of divine power. I've always fucking hated faggots who can only understand something after relating it to normie fiction but I legitimately feel like I went Super Saiyan today for a while and made it count when exercising. It's such a pure, absolute feeling of success and pride that overpowers the agony and overpowers the pain of being alive and makes me want to share it with others. I want to tell people how great exercise feels because I want to motivate others to do it. If you're reading this do push ups. It took years of hard work and smart dieting and avoiding porn and avoiding nut even with others(ok there was this one woman but aside from that I'm as nut-free as a vegan. That's a genius pun because vegans hate nuts and lack nuts) fuck i wonder if this is how drugs feel or something. SAIKYO NI HIGH TE YATSU DA or whatever the fuck Dio said. This really is the greatest high. Exercise. My body shakes with each heartbeat. My legs burn. I can feel my life force growing stronger. I'm not sexy yet but I am getting there. I am growing fitter. I am growing stronger. I can feel pride in myself as a man.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4180
4183
>>4134
Hey have you considered replacing the hitler book and anything similar with a ditigal copy while selling the original? Corrupt cops love using anti-jew material to "prove intent" and give their political prisoners harsher sentences.
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4183
4184
d34.png
>>4180
>while selling the original?
You must be new around here fren.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4184
4187
>>4183
The knowledge within a good book is priceless. But the book itself is paper. Paper the feds could use to screw you over. Then again they could probably screw you over with or without the book so fuck it and fuck the feds.
Anonymous
3f92c69
?
No.4187
>>4184
Just further reason not to give a fuck. Live your life like the feds are on the verge of being bulldozed into a mass grave. Because they are. Fuck the glowniggers. By looking over my shoulder all the time out of fear, I would be forfeiting my expression and letting their surveillance and threatening affect how I live.

Nice Guy NatSocs live their ideology by uplifting the better men of the nationfolk, helping their local community, speaking out about poisonous communist actions when prompted, and looking out for their own in times of danger. No ineffectual, kakistocratic government can suppress that and you shouldn't let the threat of that suppression stop you from being your best self.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4204
4205 4206 4213 4234
Screenshot_20210828_173245.png
I'm on my final week in this house before I drive out of state to live debt free. And what do you think happens? $10k claim from someone's lawyer for a car accident six months ago that was supposed to be handled by my insurance, naturally. Whole family's on defcon 1, can't call insurance, can't call family lawyer, can't call the claimant's lawyer, I threw the guy's info away after not hearing from him for almost six months. And now, while I'm unemployed, with a net worth of under $6k and a cash total of $400 on my person, I am now returning to major debt.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4205
4234
>>4204
Oh, and in case anyone here was at the edge of their seat about my paycheck. I quit my job after spending the entire day strongarming the office to pay me. When I finally got paid, I spent it on camping supplies to leave California. After two weeks of preparing for the trip out of state, I got this claim letter.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4206
4207
>>4204
I'm gonna be honest. This last three months I've been at my most energized and motivated and even that was fragile. I had a goal to strive for, a means to get there, and clear progress being made on my debts. I finally paid everything off. I was days from a detailed financial plan where I could see the world and minimize costs to boot.

Now I'm back to spending all my day trying to sleep in order to avoid being awake. And what a fucking time for me to discover Omori.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4207
4208
>>4206
Omori'a a video game like Undertale, right?
what do you like so much about it?
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4208
4209 4211
>>4207
>main character's name comes from "hikikomori" (Jap word for "shut-in")
>spent four years in his own head, deathly afraid of the outside world to the point of paralysis
>used to have friends, dreams of them every day even as now everyone's separated from the circle
Gee I dunno man, probably the artstyle.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4209
4210
>>4208
I've been there. What do you think it was that sent you from energized and motivated to a downwards spiral?
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4210
4212
>>4209
Finding out that I have a $10k bounty pending was a big one. The other is that after cutting off everyone in my family except my dad, everyone's still actively involving themselves in my decision to essentially run away. So the whole family knows I owe $10k and don't have a means of paying it off myself.

Even the boyfriend's suddenly gone into overdrive, talking about withdrawing from his educational IRA and getting work to help me get past this when I'm just...paralyzed. I don't even know if I want his help. I almost just want to lie down and rot.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4211
4215
omori comic 4 and relevant question.jpg
omori comic 3.jpg
omori comic 2.jpg
omori comic 1.jpg
>>4208
"To be in WHITE SPACE is to be nothing.
WHITE SPACE is emptiness, a home without warmth.
A place to survive, but not to live.
Even still, your conscience cannot be erased.
It will always find a way in.
Even in WHITE SPACE, it will take the form...
and if one wills it, something will be formed to subdue it.
A hanging black light bulb... the repression of an idea."


A room stocked with things to pass time and distract myself. A notebook, a computer, a place to cum into. Endless dreams with no end in sight until forced awake, either by outside stimuli or by killing myself in my dream. (This morning I got a call I thought was from my mom, before I thought I heard my dad at my door. It was in my head, but it woke me up.) When I wake up, I see a blue light from my PC case painting a distorted circle onto the ceiling. A room loaded with supplies to leave the state, now worthless without the legal protection that I will need to settle this claim in order to guarantee. A jug of water I haven't drank from in 24 hours. A box of hard seltzers I hate to drink warm but don't want to go out to grab from the fridge until dad's gone.

Yeah. I'm Sunny, and in my dreams I am Omori.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4212
4213
>>4210
Bounty? What's the bounty for?
Why not get their help?
Do you not want to owe them something?
Do you not want them to have anything to do with your life/success?
Do you have other plans for paying that debt off?
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4213
4214 4216 4217 4218 4219
>>4212
The claim. The thing I posted about here. >>4204

I don't have any plans for paying it off except figuring it out with Statefarm tomorrow, which I hope will work out. If not...I'll have to file for chapter 7 bankruptcy before I leave, then continue as I planned, this time with every intent of cutting off everyone I know in the process. I don't want their help, I want to drown or float on my own terms for once instead of feeling like a leech. Everyone I talk to except /mlpol/ sees me as a parasite, a retarded zoomer who doesn't know anything and should just grow up. Well, here I am, having spent three months doing everything I can think of to grow up, and I've failed. So, if all else fails, live out of your car until it gets impounded.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4214
4220
>>4213
Maturity isn't about rejecting help when it's offered. Responsibility is about taking ownership of yourself and your future. If you're afraid of making a bad choice, write down all options on a computer file you can delete when done, then figure out what benefits you the most.
Why are you moving out? Where are you moving to? What are your long term plans for making money and living somewhere? Do you plan on driving to super cheap land in the middle of nowhere and making a living online?
Anonymous
d388d75
?
No.4215
4220
34afa.jpg
>>4211
>WHITE SPACE is emptiness, a home without warmth.
Try BLACK SPACE and see how it goes.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4216
4220
>>4213
Would it help whar you're going through if I spoiled the ending of Omori?
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4217
4220
>>4213
https://youtu.be/5LKMu5qcATk
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4218
4220
>>4213
Jokes aside when I was young I moved away from abusive parents who got away with everything including taking my sister from me. I remember being paralyzed with fear over the simplest choices and how they used to make me do stupid arbitrary things just to remind me of the feeling of powerlessness. I remember how they used to try their hardest to make me feel ashamed to exist and ashamed to be a burden on them even though they were the ones who chose to have me and chose not to give me up for adoption. They fed me shit food and made me obese as a teenager and I spent the rest of my life fighting for my fitness even though I think I might be diabetic now. They sent me to a shpeshul school that doesn't offer qualifications so I'd have no ability to get a worthwhile job that might help me get away from them. But despite their best efforts I grew. I got over the mental issues they pounded into me. I taught myself to code. And sprite. And compose music. And do everything else I need to do to make my dream game a reality. I live "alone" with fellow animufag roommates and spend hours every day on my game when not exercising or taking personal breaks. I'm allowed to waste time during personal breaks as long as I don't waste time when working.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4219
4220
>>4213
The trick is to ask yourself why you feel the way you do, and don't accept the easy answers. My parents used to put no effort into the bare minimum and put actual effort into going out of their way to be awful people while constantly gaslighting me and sabotaging me and fucking up my sleep schedule and lying to me and lying to others about me. It took me a while to figure out that they are evil people and I owe them nothing for the food they fed me. Mom had narcissistic personality disorder and dad was a violent petty brute from a single mom household with no idea what a man is or should be. Kids aren't supposed to pay their parents rent. Kids arent supposed to be shamed at eight whenever their school wants money for a trip.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4220
4223
>>4215
I memed about that with the boyfriend. I already have White Space Online bookmarked on this computer. But there actually is a Black Space in the game. I think I only need the C key to see it. If the black light bulb represents the repression of an idea, I'm hesitant to enter Black Space. Just playing the game probably hasn't done much good for me.

>>4216
>>4217
I recognize the "Beta Mix" and channel name. Still not listening to it. Usually like SiIvaGunner, but not right now.

>>4214
My plan is literally....live out of my car, use gyms for hygiene, apply anywhere I can, park in campsites and parks. I will never be able to afford rent without someone to share it with...that's part of why I'm driving to my boyfriend's state, even though he says he wants to live with his family.

>>4218
I still remember when I was in middle school. 250 pounds and only a little over five feet. I would wear my PE uniform under my normal clothes to hide it. I was so humiliated by it that it turned into some kink for me to fantasize eating myself to death. I would come home and do homework at the kitchen table, and dad would serve me a literal two-liter wine glass shaped bowl filled with root beer float. Wouldn't ask if I wanted it, and would get mad if I told him I didn't want it. Every day after work he brings home a burger and fries, or a sandwich with tater tots. I tried to get by on chicken and rice for a while but I just didn't have the energy or even the basic understanding to cook rice.

When I first moved out of my parents' houses, I lived across town near the highway. I would drive 20 minutes to Vista to work as a courtesy clerk (grocery bagger), and come home and drink Jameson until I fell asleep. Maybe I internalized the diet dad imposed on me, or maybe I just can't be trusted with my money, but every lunch break I would either not eat, or go across the parking lot for Jack in the Box. I eventually couldn't pay rent, had to empty my educational IRA to pay it for three months before giving up and coming home to dad. I thought living with grandpa on his farm would help but his habits are even worse, and he smokes indoors. Combine that with the aforementioned years of debt problems, and the cost of broadband internet for the house which only had satellite TV, and you have a recipe for worse debt. That's how I was driven to leave again and live in North Carolina. Even that fell through, and I was forced to come home to dad to afford my car registration.

>>4219
All that stuff I wrote above doesn't excuse my actions. I'm broken and it's my fault I haven't been fixed. That's the hard answer.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4221
4222
Ultimatum letter.png
In theme with this thread's title, here's the first thing I'm about to say to my mom in three months.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4222
>>4221
She replied. I'm going out and vacuuming my car then.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4223
4224
>>4220
You sound like a man who knows what's wrong in his life and wants to fix it.
Don't blame yourself for how they raised you or what they did to you. Instead, focus on what you can do to grow your new life.
Anonymous
9678248
?
No.4224
>>4223
I don't know about grow. But I'm going to start by going through with this homelessness idea. Then survive. After that...if I grow, great. If not, I don't care anymore.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4225
4226
Is it normal after making difficult choices to feel like you've been hollowed out? Like you've reached your choice quota for the day and need something to keep from shutting down?
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4226
4227 4228
>>4225
Fuck yes.
Esoecially if it was a huge choice you've been thinking about for a long time or putting off for a long time.
Don't beat yourself up over your feelings, bro. You can feel whatever you want as long as you don't choose to do stupid shit based on emotions.
I peobably shouldn't guess at shit like this but do your parents have a habit of trying to control your life and shame you for accepting their help now and then? Does it ever seem like any nice things they do for you are only power plays to try and get you to feel what they want out of you? My parents did shit like that, it took me years to recover from the psychological damage. I've got my shit together now but as a kid and teenager I was a fucking wreck.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4227
>>4226
*especially
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4228
4230 4231
>>4226
I don't know what gave me more grief from outside: accepting their health or shutting down. But inside, the latter didn't hurt as much as the former.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4230
>>4228
help* I'm a wreck right now, took me hours to realize it.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4231
>>4228
Give yourself time to recover and plan optimally for your future. Someone living out of a car can go almost anywhere.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4233
Now that I've actually watched breaking bad, it's been surreal to recall those times I heard women say shit like...
>"Walter White from Breaking Bad is a big fat meanie who had absolutely no reason to start making meth and killing people and dragging poor harmless adorable sexy cute stupid widdle Jessie through awful things because he had family members and male in-laws who could have totally covered ALL his medical expenses if he just asked!"

That kind of thinking is just peak woman. If I see someone say that, I know it's a woman, even if it claims to be a man.
And what the fuck kind of person gloats online about their lack of empathy towards fictional white men, as if that's a form of virtue-signalling in their feminist culture?

I know fiction is fiction. I know it doesn't matter that retards have wrong opinions on fiction. It's funny, that's all. It's funny that women are so open with their loathing of men and dependence on them, gloating about their lack of empathy towards men and saying "Lmao why doesn't he just mooch off his family like I would if I got cancer?" is a thing they do.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4234
>>4204
>>4205
Liabilities covers this. Thank goodness. Most I'll see is an increase in my rate, no copays or deductibles. So...I can still make my trip east. My fresh start is still possible this month. I just have to wait for my credit card in the mail for the gas bill, and I'm home free.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4236
4237
Have you ever seen someone ritualistically self-flagellate who they used to be?

Some 20 year old confessing "When I was a kid, I was so into Spyro The Dragon I ran around the playground with my arms stuck out after jumping off a few stairs. I'd pretend I was gliding. Or ask someone else to run around so I could chase them and pretend they were an egg thief."
or "When I was a kid I actually did the Naruto run unironically and practiced every ninja handsign"
or "When I was a kid I had a crush on Sally Acorn and argued with retards four times my age online about Tailsream vs Tailsmo"

These are adults, acting like they're confessing their sins to priests.

But where men once entered special boxes to quietly confess their sins to trustworthy priests, these people confess their "sins" of uncoolness to the entire internet and every self-appointed "priest of internet coolness" desperate to root out cringe like it's something actually harmful like heresy or treasonous blood-libel.

What the fuck?
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4237
4244 4245
>>4236
God, I hate that but I also know that I've done it before when I was a late-teen. I can get making fun of yourself or something but when it gets to the point of self-hatred or seeking approval for repenting for your cringe, that's when it's nothing but conspicuous consumption.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4244
>>4237
Yep, it's like symbolic book-burning except the books are trash fanfics you wrote when you were ten.
Congrats, bro, that media you liked when you were eight isn't the best thing you've ever seen any more because you experienced better media and can understand the writing flaws in Naruto now. But the kid you were when he wrote those, he had a genuine passion, he wanted to share it with the world even if some big kids were going to call him cringe for it. Congrats, kid, you grew up to become one of the big kids bullying you for trying, even though he'd be nothing if you didn't try back then.
It kind of reminds me of those mediocre adults who love telling you how advanced they were in school. Congrats, bro, you were literate at eleven or something while getting good test scores, and you're still telling me about it now that you're thirty, but did that ever matter to your life? Did you ever read anything great with wisdoms that reshaped your life or did you just stick to teenager fiction? Were you a Twilight kid, that kid insisting Twilight is inferior to Harry Potter, that kid insisting both are inferior to Fullmetal Alchemist, or that kid who thinks reading Worm and Star Trek makes him a genius, the jojos bizarre adventure meme kid, or that kid reading Starship Troopers? There but for the grace of God I go.

I could have been one of those pop culture faggots my whole life if I didn't encounter people even futher down that waterslide than me and think they were annoying. I think my self improvement journey started when I realized I didn't want to turn out like those faggots whose lives begin and end at the media they consoom and the false identities they craft from their delusions like building clashing parts from preselected playsets into a lego house. Plus I needed to get away from my shit family. My journey accelerated when I got hardcore about my fitness and learned about the rapefugees, jews, white genocide, all that stuff. Looking back there's a lot of shit I'd change. A lot of advice I wish I heard.

Can you believe child-me's dream was to work for one of the big gaming companies I liked back then, like Nintendo or Sony? Companies now practically synonymous with EA after all their sins. I remember Game Maker... was it 7 or 8? I remember learning code from youtube tutorials while fucking with Pokemon roms. There were plans for a sonic fangame. There were plans for a pokemon romhack with every feature an optimistic kid could want minus the ones I sidn't know how to program. And now I'm making a real-ass goddamn video game. With big tits and menus and variables and everything. Indie gaming master race, solo dev for life. The only good reason to put any game on a console is so TASers can emulate it and do their thing.
Anonymous
fe57fcc
?
No.4245
4246
>>4237
Make sure to tell yourself the right stories about what happened.
https://youtu.be/u2PP7HxyOCY
As someone who spent years recovering from abusive parents including a narcissistic mother, trust me, it helps. That and exercise and a healthy diet. Eating greens won't magically make you feel better, that's crazy talk. What will help is being able to take pride in what you eat and how you exercise and what stage in your plan you have to look forward to tomorrow. For me it's more tiddy animation.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4246
4257
>>4245
I cherish those childhood memories, and regret deleting my old greentexts and RPs and chat logs after the fact. I enjoy reading fragments of my old stuff back, or getting back into the nostalgic mindset. Even if .Hack//SiGN is full of tween angst, I still listen to the music and think on the plot the same way my boyfriend thinks about Oban Star Racers. Even if I don't care for modern Sonic games and avoid DeviantArt like the plague now, I still appreciate it and can enjoy every game I've played up until Unleashed.

You're right that self-image and "the story" are important to your foundation. When you see your younger years as a stepping stone to becoming a better man, when you see your days of eating rice hard as the early stages of improving your diet, you can appreciate the here and now as part of that process. I think Bojack Horseman sums it up well in the episode "Ruthie:"

>"You wanna know what I do when I have a really bad, awful, terrible day?"
>"What?"
>"I imagine my great-great-great granddaughter in the future, talking to her class about me. She's poised and funny and tells people about me and how everything worked out in the end. And when I think about that, I think about how everything's going to work out. Because how else could she tell people?"

Board users have a similar idea when they talk about being main characters in the universe. It might sound like a narcissistic idea, but, it's something we do a lot in our lives and it's important when we cope with issues in life to focus on ourselves first. We've got to look after number one. That applies to us as individuals, us as a family, a neighborhood, a city, a state, a nation, a race, a civilization, and as a species. We may broaden the scope based on our personal preferences or our needs, but what we need the most, is to look out for ourselves first. Selflessness is a noble trait, but it can only be helpful if we are prepared to be selfless. One cannot fight for others when he's tied up to a chair with a knife to his throat.
Anonymous
0ac7a9f
?
No.4255
4256 4262
I'm leaving as soon as dad goes to bed tonight. Wish me luck on the trip east, fillers.
Anonymous
f169a7b
?
No.4256
>>4255
Why can’t you be a man and actually tell him to his face you are leaving? Ditching in the middle of the night is the most bitch move that solves nothing. If it is something that can’t be talked out, a resolution of mutually agreed ending of te relationship is far better than just vanishing.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4257
4258 4259
>>4246
What if homosexuality is actually an evolutionary advantage, because it helps gay men tell when they're sexy to women and other gay men?
Resist the urge to get AIDS rammed up your arsehole and you could be straight anyway.
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4258
4260 4261 4273
84c.png
>>4257
>What if homosexuality is actually an evolutionary advantage
I sense subversion.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4259
>>4257
I think youre onto something, you should try it
Anonymous
c5f58a2
?
No.4260
>>4258
I think (((Milo))) said the same thing, or at least that the genes that turn a man gay also raise their IQ? It's stupid but this is Milo, so...
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4261
Sorry.jpg
>>4258
Nah.
Anonymous
d02a027
?
No.4262
4275
>>4255
This might help, reading about https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder NPD helped me come to terms with what narcissists my parents were.
What are your parents like? Why do you want to escape from your family?
Anonymous
a6199de
?
No.4273
>>4258
Nope.
Anonymous
52db42d
?
No.4275
>>4262
It's not my problem anymore, I'm meeting with the bf today and my dad doesn't have any idea where I am. All according to keikaku.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4298
4299 4300 4302 4303 4304 4329
I killed a hoers today.
I prepared for her for months. I made an exclusive pen, I sectioned off areas for grazing, and I gave her ple ty of brushies and itches
But she got out. Its nuanced, but tldr she got out. and I live on a highway, so thats where she ran to cuz less fencing. and thats where she was hit, and thats where I put her down.
I thought I could provide a good enviroment for a mini hors, and instead I was putting one down.
Please frens, be careful with your animals. Be good and kind to them. Always.
Anonymous
b0443c9
?
No.4299
4301
FCB12DA5C629401A0329FDFCFC69E4B1-163300.png
>>4298
Anonymous
7c1ee34
?
No.4300
4301
AEC07F2E-EF7C-4770-A3E9-85BFF23B9C70.jpeg
>>4298
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4301
>>4299
>>4300
Yeah. Life's a bitch at times. I failed, heres hoping y'all dont
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4302
75.jpg
>>4298
Anonymous
fed01c0
?
No.4303
>>4298
that's so sad :derpy-hooves:
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4304
>>4298
That's so sad.
I'm sorry for your loss, Anon.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4305
4309 4310 4329
f-1.png
20210831_194902.jpg
I posted a picture of her in another thread. I prepared for her for over a year, getting all my ducks in a row, doing all the necessary preparations and research, and 2 weeks to the day I had to put her down because at thr end of the day I failed in my responsibility. I have never been so ashamed of myself.
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4309
4311
>>4305
You did what you could. It didn't seem like she died for any lack of you trying. You seemed excited and eager and prepared to build the best environment, but this world is chaotic and things like this just happen sometimes, so you shouldn't blame yourself too much for it.
I've had pets get hit by cars before, and it's one of the worst feelings...
Anonymous
c6f73f0
?
No.4310
4311
>>4305
I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better about what you just experienced, but just try not to beat yourself up too much about it. I'm sure it must be digging into all kinds of latent feelings of personal inadequacy and guilt right now, and that that must be agonizing to feel on top of the loss of losing your horse, but you can grow to forgive yourself eventually. You as a person don't necessarily need to be defined by your mistakes.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4311
4312 4313 4314
mlp.png
>>4309
I did everything I thought of to do, thats not the same as everything I could. I let my excitement get the better of me and made several critical design flaws to the pen and the area around it. As a holding area it was fine, but I neglected several easily-implemented fail-safes that could have prevented this, and most damningly I never even asked myself the question of 'what do I do if she gets out?'. That question alone could have prevented this.
>>4310
No, I think beating myself up over this is precisely what needs to happen.
I do appreciate the consolation though
Anonymous
2833521
?
No.4312
4315
381.gif
>>4311
Fren. its not your fault i promise. how could you have known she would get out? you couldn't have.
Anonymous
f169a7b
?
No.4313
4315
>>4311
No, beating yourself up about it isn’t going to help. Sometimes, even the most well thought out plans for wrong, despite our best efforts. You might not think your planning was enough now, but hindsight always will allow you to see flaws that you couldn’t before. You need some time, but if this is your dream, you can’t let this stop you.

I am sorry for your loss, but I hope you understand that you are going to learn from this and you shouldn’t give up. You are going to be ok.
Anonymous
58849fd
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No.4314
>>4311
Don't be to hard on yourself anon. It is understandable and natural to feel bad and thinking all sorts of what ifs, hindsight is always 20/20. You did not will this or want this so you didn't do anything wrong. You wanted to give her a good home and I would also say you did do that. Accidents happens and no one can foresee and prevent them all. Your motives were pure and you should not feel bad for trying to do something good.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4315
4316 4317 4318 4320
>>4312
Thats where you're wrong, its literally all my fault. The responsibility, obligation, onus, all falls on me. I should have known she would get out, I should have planned for it. I should have set up an elaborate system of fences beyond and around her pen.
I SHOULD have made it inevitable that even upon getting out, leading her back would be easy, because there would be nowhere for her to go. Instead, it was in3v8table that she escape, and the rest is history.
I appreciate you saying so, but I reject the notion that its not my fault.
>>4313
I disagree. This experience has shown ways in which I have become contemptible, and self-loathing is a powerful impetus for change.
Anonymous
f169a7b
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No.4316
4319
>>4315
I know you don’t want to hear it right now, but that is an unreasonable outlook. I have neighbors that have horses and they don’t have backup fences or anything. Where you see a lack of planning, I see just a normal set up.

If you are encouraged to make back ups to prevent it happening again, then that is great. However, you couldn’t have foreseen this. All the self loathing couldn’t have changed that and it won’t change it in the future. If you are blinded by those thoughts, you may harden your heart towards life, making it worthless to continue your dream. You will tie your dream to the negative emotion you are experiencing.

I wish the best for you in all you do.
Anonymous
2833521
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No.4317
4319
>>4315
Bro. you cannot foresee the future. its impossible. you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. its a tragedy it happened. but its not your fault.
Anonymous
87caeb9
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No.4318
4319
>>4315
You could try and upgrade your fencing now to stop this from happening again
Whenever a friend of mine catches me beating myself up he tells me to look at what I can learn from it to improve something, and then stop, because it's always easier after a change.
Anonymous
61049c0
?
No.4319
4329
>>4316
Again, I must disagree. I absolutely could have forseen this, and I was derelict in not having done so. Also, dream is a bit of a misnomer. I simply love animals fluttershy is best pone btw, and my situation has developed to where it was not only feasible to get a horse, but it is beneficial in keeping the grass down without having to mow. And, while others may not have fail-safes, everyone I know who has livestock does including the breeder (who - fun fact - didnt charge me for her adoption because "she knew she was going to a good home and she would be well taken care of"), who has no less than 4 perimeter fences surrounding the horse pens, as well as an i tricate network of gates many of which cant be open at the same time. I get what you're trying to convey, but you're not going to convince me that this was an accident; this was an abject failure, and Im coming from the school where if I lose sight of that, Ive failed twice.
>>4317
>you cant see the future
Its not as difficult as you might think actually
>its not your fault
I didnt do it deliberately thats true, but again the responsibility was mine. My behavior was insufficient to express my Intent, and so my Will couldnt manifest. My Will was to keep her safe. The failure stands.
>>4318
>upgrade your fencing
You're goddamn right I will

And if nothing else, I hope my example serves as a lesson for anyone reading.
Anonymous
415b31d
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No.4320
4321 4329
>>4315
Do you have enough money to get a new one?

One of the main things about horses is they respond to pain the most. It has something to do with how their brains are wired, and a lot of it gets short-circuited with some pain. This is how they are trained. Spurs and bits are to induce enough pain to train them. Breaking in a horse (or pone... lul) to not do annoying things like get out of the pen or stay off the road unless someone is on their back is a process. Heh, I guess children are similar in this regard.
You can't just give them all your love and expect an animal (or even most ppl) to do what is decent or good. While I suspect you know this already, it is worth repeating.

Having grown up on a farm, maybe its a bit different to my outlook on life. Raising a cow, laying out in the sun with it on lazy summer days... then shooting it in the head, butchering it and eating it. Death (at the moment) is part of life. There are billions of what-if's... don't let the what-if's bog you down.
Anonymous
c176dcc
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No.4321
>>4320
Money isnt/wasnt the issue, and yes I have the means to adopt another. The point there is the gesture and the trust placed. And in time I will get another one, but I have alot of shit to get together first. And the area is such that I will see the breeder again, one way or another. Before I face her again, I absolutely owe it to correct every reasonable flaw in my setup
Anonymous
809e82d
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No.4326
4327 4328 4329
-w5dWqA4BSrE.png
My final word before returning this thread to its regularly scheduled random outbursts.
After a little over a day of raking myself over the coals, Ive determined the failing perceptions that led to this tragedy. I'll forever blame myself for what happened, but from a 'never again' position as opposed to a 'Im a horrible person' position. Please dont let my exceedingly critical tone give a false impression; it is a posture geared toward producing almost immediate results by harnessing the adverse emotions that come from such experiences. And for a day I truly hated myself, but now that I know how to exhaustively prevent this from happening again, NOW I can begin to mourn for her, and to forgive myself. But thats just how I do it; business first, personal after.
Thanks everyone, you all helped in ways I cant articulate but it meant alot.
Anonymous
f169a7b
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No.4327
>>4326
We will always be here for you anon. If you ever need anything, let us know.
Anonymous
d917b71
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No.4328
63749.jpg
>>4326
Best wishes poner.
Anonymous
55cbf86
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No.4329
4330 4332 4336
deus ex.jpg
>>4298
Quite a lot of horses have died over the past week, it's fairly phenomenal in how these occurrences have rapidly transpired although there is more to be seen it seems.
>>4305
She looks like a Shetland, her ears are pointing back while the stance she poses is defensive rather than trusting or relaxed.
>>4319
An experience to show exampling.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
>>4320
Death is a necessarily harsh step towards change, it is a process we are all a part of. Yet desperate times call for dire measures before defeat is accepted.
>>4326
The abyss is a nasty place for your mind to be, it's a challenge in keeping your head during such phases. Sorrow leads to regret which spirals downward into misery, further down the darker it gets.
Anonymous
f169a7b
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No.4330
4336 4339
>>4329
The fuck are you on anon?
Anonymous
d917b71
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No.4332
4336 4339
afafa.png
>>4329
>a narcissist trying to spread mysery
Your inner self is so transparent.
Anonymous
f9e212a
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No.4336
4339
mlp-1.png
>>4329
>more to be seen
Please elaborate
>ears back
Yes, that was the day we brought her home. I only have 2 pictures of her, regrettably
>no one to blame
Quite
>the abyss
Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss and abandoning one's self to it is an essential part of one's potentiation. The trick is to not lose one's self in the process, which is what many/most other aspects of the work are geared toward in some capacity, but I digress.
>>4330
>>4332
His words mirror many my own, I see no fault

As a surprise addendum, a very "Applejack-esque" cowgirl Im aquainted with had this to say about the matter.
>Dont you dare let this break you. Dont you dare. You cant keep horses without losing them eventually. But not everyone who loses a horse internalizes it. Alot of them wouldn't obsess about what they did wrong, and alot of them wouldnt shed a tear in putting them down. Alot of them dont care. And there are alot of horses who need the love and affection you can give them. You know what you did wrong now so get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle cuz theres alot of horses out there dying without knowing any human affection. She bonded to you in a week. I dont know many first-time horse owners who have managed that.
>pic related
Anonymous
55cbf86
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No.4339
aryanne pixel art.png
>>4330
Long story short. Nutmeg.
>>4332
>Transparency
Perhaps, although not every glass is clear nor is all water either.
There is more than meets the eye, as usual.
Narcissism could be numbered against my long list but as of yet it isn't for it would be another labeled smear on the records, self obsession is common amongst the modern populace. Generosity is a rare commodity nowadays, unfortunately so.
>>4336
>Please elaborate
To phrase it abruptly, there are always going to be more dead horses. The desensitization of deceased domestic animals is hard to acquire if one's heart is ever too caring and sharing.
Elaborated accordingly.
>Yes, that was the day we brought her home.
Unaccustomed to the strange environment that appeared before her, she saw the flaws and manipulated them but had not anticipated the danger of the roaring roads.
>Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss
The fear of sadness, is but a phobia of depression.
Anonymous
87caeb9
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No.4340
4341 4343
We should have a thread for nice music.
There's a political music thread but I mean one specifically for this sort of thing https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_cLprhx7JE that just sounds nice. Based lyrics about a happy housewife being good to her ploughman, a cheerful tone, not a nigger to be heard, it's a traditional song advocating for traditionalism while sounding nice.
Anonymous
d917b71
?
No.4341
4342 4343
>>4340
We already have it.
Non political music goes here: >>>/sp/2487 →
Anonymous
87caeb9
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No.4342
4343
>>4341
You're right, another thread specifically for that sort of music would be a bit much
Anonymous
55cbf86
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No.4343
The Clancy Brothers  Tommy Makem  The Nightingale  Johnsons Motor Car.mp4
>>4340
>>4341
>>4342
Who doesn't like a bit of Irish music every once in a while?