>Nazi Horsefucker Edition
Vent frustrations and life issues that don't deserve their own thread here.
224 replies and 111 files omitted.
Now that I've actually watched breaking bad, it's been surreal to recall those times I heard women say shit like...
>"Walter White from Breaking Bad is a big fat meanie who had absolutely no reason to start making meth and killing people and dragging poor harmless adorable sexy cute stupid widdle Jessie through awful things because he had family members and male in-laws who could have totally covered ALL his medical expenses if he just asked!"
That kind of thinking is just peak woman. If I see someone say that, I know it's a woman, even if it claims to be a man.
And what the fuck kind of person gloats online about their lack of empathy towards fictional white men, as if that's a form of virtue-signalling in their feminist culture?
I know fiction is fiction. I know it doesn't matter that retards have wrong opinions on fiction. It's funny, that's all. It's funny that women are so open with their loathing of men and dependence on them, gloating about their lack of empathy towards men and saying "Lmao why doesn't he just mooch off his family like I would if I got cancer?" is a thing they do.
Liabilities covers this. Thank goodness. Most I'll see is an increase in my rate, no copays or deductibles. So...I can still make my trip east. My fresh start is still possible this month. I just have to wait for my credit card in the mail for the gas bill, and I'm home free.
Have you ever seen someone ritualistically self-flagellate who they used to be?
Some 20 year old confessing "When I was a kid, I was so into Spyro The Dragon I ran around the playground with my arms stuck out after jumping off a few stairs. I'd pretend I was gliding. Or ask someone else to run around so I could chase them and pretend they were an egg thief."
or "When I was a kid I actually did the Naruto run unironically and practiced every ninja handsign"
or "When I was a kid I had a crush on Sally Acorn and argued with retards four times my age online about Tailsream vs Tailsmo"
These are adults, acting like they're confessing their sins to priests.
But where men once entered special boxes to quietly confess their sins to trustworthy priests, these people confess their "sins" of uncoolness to the entire internet and every self-appointed "priest of internet coolness" desperate to root out cringe like it's something actually harmful like heresy or treasonous blood-libel.
What the fuck?
God, I hate that but I also know that I've done it before when I was a late-teen. I can get making fun of yourself or something but when it gets to the point of self-hatred or seeking approval for repenting for your cringe, that's when it's nothing but conspicuous consumption.
Yep, it's like symbolic book-burning except the books are trash fanfics you wrote when you were ten.
Congrats, bro, that media you liked when you were eight isn't the best thing you've ever seen any more because you experienced better media and can understand the writing flaws in Naruto now. But the kid you were when he wrote those, he had a genuine passion, he wanted to share it with the world even if some big kids were going to call him cringe for it. Congrats, kid, you grew up to become one of the big kids bullying you for trying, even though he'd be nothing if you didn't try back then.
It kind of reminds me of those mediocre adults who love telling you how advanced they were in school. Congrats, bro, you were literate at eleven or something while getting good test scores, and you're still telling me about it now that you're thirty, but did that ever matter to your life? Did you ever read anything great with wisdoms that reshaped your life or did you just stick to teenager fiction? Were you a Twilight kid, that kid insisting Twilight is inferior to Harry Potter, that kid insisting both are inferior to Fullmetal Alchemist, or that kid who thinks reading Worm and Star Trek makes him a genius, the jojos bizarre adventure meme kid, or that kid reading Starship Troopers? There but for the grace of God I go.
I could have been one of those pop culture faggots my whole life if I didn't encounter people even futher down that waterslide than me and think they were annoying. I think my self improvement journey started when I realized I didn't want to turn out like those faggots whose lives begin and end at the media they consoom and the false identities they craft from their delusions like building clashing parts from preselected playsets into a lego house. Plus I needed to get away from my shit family. My journey accelerated when I got hardcore about my fitness and learned about the rapefugees, jews, white genocide, all that stuff. Looking back there's a lot of shit I'd change. A lot of advice I wish I heard.
Can you believe child-me's dream was to work for one of the big gaming companies I liked back then, like Nintendo or Sony? Companies now practically synonymous with EA after all their sins. I remember Game Maker... was it 7 or 8? I remember learning code from youtube tutorials while fucking with Pokemon roms. There were plans for a sonic fangame. There were plans for a pokemon romhack with every feature an optimistic kid could want minus the ones I sidn't know how to program. And now I'm making a real-ass goddamn video game. With big tits and menus and variables and everything. Indie gaming master race, solo dev for life. The only good reason to put any game on a console is so TASers can emulate it and do their thing.
Make sure to tell yourself the right stories about what happened.https://youtu.be/u2PP7HxyOCY
As someone who spent years recovering from abusive parents including a narcissistic mother, trust me, it helps. That and exercise and a healthy diet. Eating greens won't magically make you feel better, that's crazy talk. What will help is being able to take pride in what you eat and how you exercise and what stage in your plan you have to look forward to tomorrow. For me it's more tiddy animation.
I cherish those childhood memories, and regret deleting my old greentexts and RPs and chat logs after the fact. I enjoy reading fragments of my old stuff back, or getting back into the nostalgic mindset. Even if .Hack//SiGN is full of tween angst, I still listen to the music and think on the plot the same way my boyfriend thinks about Oban Star Racers. Even if I don't care for modern Sonic games and avoid DeviantArt like the plague now, I still appreciate it and can enjoy every game I've played up until Unleashed.
You're right that self-image and "the story" are important to your foundation. When you see your younger years as a stepping stone to becoming a better man, when you see your days of eating rice hard as the early stages of improving your diet, you can appreciate the here and now as part of that process. I think Bojack Horseman sums it up well in the episode "Ruthie:">"You wanna know what I do when I have a really bad, awful, terrible day?">"What?">"I imagine my great-great-great granddaughter in the future, talking to her class about me. She's poised and funny and tells people about me and how everything worked out in the end. And when I think about that, I think about how everything's going to work out. Because how else could she tell people?"
Board users have a similar idea when they talk about being main characters in the universe. It might sound like a narcissistic idea, but, it's something we do a lot in our lives and it's important when we cope with issues in life to focus on ourselves first. We've got to look after number one. That applies to us as individuals, us as a family, a neighborhood, a city, a state, a nation, a race, a civilization, and as a species. We may broaden the scope based on our personal preferences or our needs, but what we need the most
, is to look out for ourselves
first. Selflessness is a noble trait, but it can only be helpful if we are prepared to be selfless. One cannot fight for others when he's tied up to a chair with a knife to his throat.
I'm leaving as soon as dad goes to bed tonight. Wish me luck on the trip east, fillers.
Why can’t you be a man and actually tell him to his face you are leaving? Ditching in the middle of the night is the most bitch move that solves nothing. If it is something that can’t be talked out, a resolution of mutually agreed ending of te relationship is far better than just vanishing.
What if homosexuality is actually an evolutionary advantage, because it helps gay men tell when they're sexy to women and other gay men?
Resist the urge to get AIDS rammed up your arsehole and you could be straight anyway.
I think youre onto something, you should try it
I think (((Milo))) said the same thing, or at least that the genes that turn a man gay also raise their IQ? It's stupid but this is Milo, so...
This might help, reading about https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder
NPD helped me come to terms with what narcissists my parents were.
What are your parents like? Why do you want to escape from your family?
It's not my problem anymore, I'm meeting with the bf today and my dad doesn't have any idea where I am. All according to keikaku.
I killed a hoers today.
I prepared for her for months. I made an exclusive pen, I sectioned off areas for grazing, and I gave her ple ty of brushies and itches
But she got out. Its nuanced, but tldr she got out. and I live on a highway, so thats where she ran to cuz less fencing. and thats where she was hit, and thats where I put her down.
I thought I could provide a good enviroment for a mini hors, and instead I was putting one down.
Please frens, be careful with your animals. Be good and kind to them. Always.
Yeah. Life's a bitch at times. I failed, heres hoping y'all dont
That's so sad.
I'm sorry for your loss, Anon.
I posted a picture of her in another thread. I prepared for her for over a year, getting all my ducks in a row, doing all the necessary preparations and research, and 2 weeks to the day I had to put her down because at thr end of the day I failed in my responsibility. I have never been so ashamed of myself.
You did what you could. It didn't seem like she died for any lack of you trying. You seemed excited and eager and prepared to build the best environment, but this world is chaotic and things like this just happen sometimes, so you shouldn't blame yourself too much for it.
I've had pets get hit by cars before, and it's one of the worst feelings...
I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better about what you just experienced, but just try not to beat yourself up too much about it. I'm sure it must be digging into all kinds of latent feelings of personal inadequacy and guilt right now, and that that must be agonizing to feel on top of the loss of losing your horse, but you can grow to forgive yourself eventually. You as a person don't necessarily need to be defined by your mistakes.
I did everything I thought of to do, thats not the same as everything I could. I let my excitement get the better of me and made several critical design flaws to the pen and the area around it. As a holding area it was fine, but I neglected several easily-implemented fail-safes that could have prevented this, and most damningly I never even asked myself the question of 'what do I do if she gets out?'. That question alone could have prevented this.>>4310
No, I think beating myself up over this is precisely what needs to happen.
I do appreciate the consolation though
Fren. its not your fault i promise. how could you have known she would get out? you couldn't have.
No, beating yourself up about it isn’t going to help. Sometimes, even the most well thought out plans for wrong, despite our best efforts. You might not think your planning was enough now, but hindsight always will allow you to see flaws that you couldn’t before. You need some time, but if this is your dream, you can’t let this stop you.
I am sorry for your loss, but I hope you understand that you are going to learn from this and you shouldn’t give up. You are going to be ok.
Don't be to hard on yourself anon. It is understandable and natural to feel bad and thinking all sorts of what ifs, hindsight is always 20/20. You did not will this or want this so you didn't do anything wrong. You wanted to give her a good home and I would also say you did do that. Accidents happens and no one can foresee and prevent them all. Your motives were pure and you should not feel bad for trying to do something good.
Thats where you're wrong, its literally all my fault. The responsibility, obligation, onus, all falls on me. I should have known she would get out, I should have planned for it. I should have set up an elaborate system of fences beyond and around her pen.
I SHOULD have made it inevitable that even upon getting out, leading her back would be easy, because there would be nowhere for her to go. Instead, it was in3v8table that she escape, and the rest is history.
I appreciate you saying so, but I reject the notion that its not my fault.>>4313
I disagree. This experience has shown ways in which I have become contemptible, and self-loathing is a powerful impetus for change.
I know you don’t want to hear it right now, but that is an unreasonable outlook. I have neighbors that have horses and they don’t have backup fences or anything. Where you see a lack of planning, I see just a normal set up.
If you are encouraged to make back ups to prevent it happening again, then that is great. However, you couldn’t have foreseen this. All the self loathing couldn’t have changed that and it won’t change it in the future. If you are blinded by those thoughts, you may harden your heart towards life, making it worthless to continue your dream. You will tie your dream to the negative emotion you are experiencing.
I wish the best for you in all you do.
Bro. you cannot foresee the future. its impossible. you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. its a tragedy it happened. but its not your fault.
You could try and upgrade your fencing now to stop this from happening again
Whenever a friend of mine catches me beating myself up he tells me to look at what I can learn from it to improve something, and then stop, because it's always easier after a change.
Again, I must disagree. I absolutely could have forseen this, and I was derelict in not having done so. Also, dream is a bit of a misnomer. I simply love animals fluttershy is best pone btw
, and my situation has developed to where it was not only feasible to get a horse, but it is beneficial in keeping the grass down without having to mow. And, while others may not have fail-safes, everyone I know who has livestock does
including the breeder (who - fun fact - didnt charge me for her adoption because "she knew she was going to a good home and she would be well taken care of"), who has no less than 4 perimeter fences surrounding the horse pens, as well as an i tricate network of gates many of which cant be open at the same time. I get what you're trying to convey, but you're not going to convince me that this was an accident; this was an abject failure, and Im coming from the school where if I lose sight of that, Ive failed twice.>>4317>you cant see the future
Its not as difficult as you might think actually>its not your fault
I didnt do it deliberately thats true, but again the responsibility was mine. My behavior was insufficient to express my Intent, and so my Will couldnt manifest. My Will was to keep her safe. The failure stands.>>4318>upgrade your fencing
You're goddamn right I will
And if nothing else, I hope my example serves as a lesson for anyone reading.
Do you have enough money to get a new one?
One of the main things about horses is they respond to pain the most. It has something to do with how their brains are wired, and a lot of it gets short-circuited with some pain. This is how they are trained. Spurs and bits are to induce enough pain to train them. Breaking in a horse (or pone... lul) to not do annoying things like get out of the pen or stay off the road unless someone is on their back is a process. Heh, I guess children are similar in this regard.
You can't just give them all your love and expect an animal (or even most ppl) to do what is decent or good. While I suspect you know this already, it is worth repeating.
Having grown up on a farm, maybe its a bit different to my outlook on life. Raising a cow, laying out in the sun with it on lazy summer days... then shooting it in the head, butchering it and eating it. Death (at the moment) is part of life. There are billions of what-if's... don't let the what-if's bog you down.
Money isnt/wasnt the issue, and yes I have the means to adopt another. The point there is the gesture and the trust placed. And in time I will get another one, but I have alot of shit to get together first. And the area is such that I will see the breeder again, one way or another. Before I face her again, I absolutely owe it to correct every reasonable flaw in my setup
My final word before returning this thread to its regularly scheduled random outbursts.
After a little over a day of raking myself over the coals, Ive determined the failing perceptions that led to this tragedy. I'll forever blame myself for what happened, but from a 'never again' position as opposed to a 'Im a horrible person' position. Please dont let my exceedingly critical tone give a false impression; it is a posture geared toward producing almost immediate results by harnessing the adverse emotions that come from such experiences. And for a day I truly hated myself, but now that I know how to exhaustively prevent this from happening again, NOW I can begin to mourn for her, and to forgive myself. But thats just how I do it; business first, personal after.
Thanks everyone, you all helped in ways I cant articulate but it meant alot.
We will always be here for you anon. If you ever need anything, let us know.
Quite a lot of horses have died over the past week, it's fairly phenomenal in how these occurrences have rapidly transpired although there is more to be seen it seems.>>4305
She looks like a Shetland, her ears are pointing back while the stance she poses is defensive rather than trusting or relaxed.>>4319
An experience to show exampling.
You have no one to blame but yourself.>>4320
Death is a necessarily harsh step towards change, it is a process we are all a part of. Yet desperate times call for dire measures before defeat is accepted.>>4326
The abyss is a nasty place for your mind to be, it's a challenge in keeping your head during such phases. Sorrow leads to regret which spirals downward into misery, further down the darker it gets.
The fuck are you on anon?
>>4329>a narcissist trying to spread mysery
Your inner self is so transparent.
>>4329>more to be seen
Please elaborate>ears back
Yes, that was the day we brought her home. I only have 2 pictures of her, regrettably >no one to blame
Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss and abandoning one's self to it is an essential part of one's potentiation. The trick is to not lose one's self in the process, which is what many/most other aspects of the work are geared toward in some capacity, but I digress.>>4330>>4332
His words mirror many my own, I see no fault
As a surprise addendum, a very "Applejack-esque" cowgirl Im aquainted with had this to say about the matter.>Dont you dare let this break you. Dont you dare. You cant keep horses without losing them eventually. But not everyone who loses a horse internalizes it. Alot of them wouldn't obsess about what they did wrong, and alot of them wouldnt shed a tear in putting them down. Alot of them dont care. And there are alot of horses who need the love and affection you can give them. You know what you did wrong now so get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle cuz theres alot of horses out there dying without knowing any human affection. She bonded to you in a week. I dont know many first-time horse owners who have managed that.>pic related
Long story short. Nutmeg.>>4332>Transparency
Perhaps, although not every glass is clear nor is all water either.
There is more than meets the eye, as usual.
Narcissism could be numbered against my long list but as of yet it isn't for it would be another labeled smear on the records, self obsession is common amongst the modern populace. Generosity is a rare commodity nowadays, unfortunately so.>>4336>Please elaborate
To phrase it abruptly, there are always going to be more dead horses. The desensitization of deceased domestic animals is hard to acquire if one's heart is ever too caring and sharing.
Elaborated accordingly.>Yes, that was the day we brought her home.
Unaccustomed to the strange environment that appeared before her, she saw the flaws and manipulated them but had not anticipated the danger of the roaring roads.>Im coming from the school where one doesnt fear the abyss
The fear of sadness, is but a phobia of depression.
We should have a thread for nice music.
There's a political music thread but I mean one specifically for this sort of thing https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_cLprhx7JE
that just sounds nice. Based lyrics about a happy housewife being good to her ploughman, a cheerful tone, not a nigger to be heard, it's a traditional song advocating for traditionalism while sounding nice.
We already have it.
Non political music goes here: >>>/sp/2487 →
You're right, another thread specifically for that sort of music would be a bit much
Who doesn't like a bit of Irish music every once in a while?