Hi Nigel, I'm the anon who's shitting on you in the other thread. Figured I'd pop on over to this one and see what it felt like to shit on you here.>The scene with Silver and the Dragon was a joke scene. You did notice that the dumbest anime bullshit happened entirely within the Dragon mare's head, right? Right? Riiiiiiight?
See, the problem with this, Nigel, is that it's impossible to tell what's supposed to be a joke scene and what isn't, because you completely lack the ability to read or write any level of irony. Your OC is so overpowered and ridiculous it's almost impossible to filter out which ridiculous things are unintentional because you can't tell the difference.
Also, the fight scene with the dragon-horse-thing is really not so much a joke as it is a pathetic, completely transparent platform for your faggot OC to show off his rad ninja skills in front of Twilight. Then he just sort of casually drops it into the conversation that this apparently super-powered unbeatable chimera is a creature that he found and, naturally, trained himself. He did this, of course, in between running his multi-million dollar company, fighting monsters in other dimensions, performing impossible feats of magic, playing bass for Metallica, and whatever the fuck else this preposterous character does.>Should I have made it more obvious that Silver was bluffing when he claimed he's invincible when he's angry? Was the implication that he wouldn't have lost a fight in an earlier chapter if he actually had this ability not enough? Oh, right, I forgot. You also skipped the chapter where he loses a fight and gets out of dying right there by bluffing, so you didn't recognize that as a consistent character trait. Should I make my work simple enough for a whiny Glimmer fanboy who feels entitled to skip chapters and still understand everything to understand?
Even after I've taken the time to slog my way through most of your 32k+ word epic (which is only Chapter 6 of another work that is only God knows how long) and have grown intimately familiar with your massive ego, it seems I can still be amazed by just how bottomless the depths of your hubris really are. This one is just so packed with juicy Nigel-isms that I'd like to look at each item one at a time.>Should I have made it more obvious that Silver was bluffing when he claimed he's invincible when he's angry?
Yes. You should have, because as I stated earlier, you are completely incapable of being ironic and you give your character so many stupid powers it's hard to imagine you would allow him to NOT be invincible.>Was the implication that he wouldn't have lost a fight in an earlier chapter if he actually had this ability not enough?
Get this through your head. Your story is long, convoluted, preposterously verbose, poorly constructed, poorly planned, poorly executed. Anyone willing to take time out of their day to slog through this dreck deserves a medal, but you've got the balls to start berating people for not having read more of it? >Oh, right, I forgot. You also skipped the chapter where he loses a fight and gets out of dying right there by bluffing, so you didn't recognize that as a consistent character trait.
Nobody fucking cares, Nigel. Your character is terrible and everyone hates him. >Should I make my work simple enough for a whiny Glimmer fanboy who feels entitled to skip chapters and still understand everything to understand?
"Feels entitled to skip chapters?" "FEELS ENTITLED TO SKIP CHAPTERS?!?"
Jesus fucking Christ, unironically kill yourself. Oh, wait, you don't understand irony. FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.
Listen, you arrogant pile of dogshit. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is under any obligation to read any of this. That any of us have been willing to take FIVE MINUTES to read even ANY of this river of steaming liquid feces that you call a fanfiction is something you should be on your knees praising Allah for.
Your writing is terrible. Your OC is the most unlikable, overpowered, ridiculous, laughable unintentional parody of himself I have ever encountered anywhere. This is quite literally the worst thing I have ever read, anywhere, and I've read like three of the Harry Potter books.
You come to this site, post TWO THREADS begging us to read this self-aggrandizing pile of steaming baby vomit, then you have the nerve to act like you're doing us a favor by letting us read it? Like we need to really read the entire
work just to be able to understand the subtle nuances of your creative genius? Fuck. You.
Listen, Nigel. This isn't a critique anymore. You don't deserve a critique. This is an intervention. You need to hear this:YOU. CAN'T. WRITE.
Your plot is clumsily structured and confusing. Your dialogue is awful. You don't even remotely understand the characters you're writing about. Right at this moment, there are 7 year old girls acting out simplistic stories using plastic MLP toys who are producing better stories with better characterizations than anything you've ever written in your life.
And for the last time: YOUR OC IS FUCKING GARBAGE.
Silver Star is the stupidest, most overpowered, obnoxious, bland, cringey brony OC that has ever been conceived, and frankly that's saying a lot.
Stop writing forever, Nigel. Chop your fucking hands off so you won't be tempted to do it. Cut your tongue out so you won't be able to dictate stories to a computer that doesn't know any better. Jump off a bridge when you're done just to be on the safe side.
You are a terrible writer, Nigel. It has become glaringly apparent that you will never improve, so stop trying. You will never be good at this, ever.