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more.jpg
Whose Nuts?
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63085
>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,... love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,....).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but it does still happen, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.

At the moment the party is starting to appreciate that - from their future-jumped perspective - the worst has already happened. All that is left is the denouement, but at the same time there's still a glimmer of hope. Deep within the ruined city of Durpistan, where Thez has made a last vestige of resistance against the forces of George Soros, the party contemplates their next move.
927 replies and 35 files omitted.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63802
63803
K so as I'm seeing, Fae is first, followed by Snek, then Torc and Infernius at the same time, with Stix following, with Trump in last.
AwTOG
?
No.63803
image.jpeg
[3d20 = 46]
>>63802
Fae dives in towards the unholy abomination of central-European-style Socialism, and rips at it with Fang and Claw
l8rQ6
?
No.63804
63805
[1d100 = 33]
That's at least 2 hits, with a possible 3rd (bab?)
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63805
63807
>>63804
She has the multiattack Feat, so it's something like 20/18/18 for the combined attack bonus, and +12 for highest base attack bonus. Possibly a couple points higher
tNcz9
?
No.63806
63811 63812
[1d20+31 = 42]
[1d20+30 = 32]
>Torc and Snek next to each other
That's nice.
Snek aims his gun at let giant nosy merchant, and holds his action until Torc can cast True Strike.
Torc then casts a quickened True Strike, affecting him and Snek.

And for Torc's action, he forms a great beam of the purest coldness in Trumpaladin's heart, using it as a polar ray.
The polar ray has the +30, Snek had the +31
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63807
>>63805
Yeah, I'll count it as 3, 1 of which does 2x damage
The creature retracts at the sudden onslaught
T1/jE
?
No.63808
63809
[1d20+7 = 11]
Rolling Initiative
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63809
63810 63814
>>63808
Tracy goes with Stix, immediately after Torcuil and Infernius.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63810
>>63809
Tracy prepares to flank and finish off gigajew's leg
tNcz9
?
No.63811
63813
[2d8+2 = 13]
[17d6 = 62]
>>63806
I mean, it isn't a 1
Damages rolls (17d6 polar ray, 2d8+2 snek)
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63812
63813
image.png
>>63806
>The purest coldness in Trumpaladin's heart
And just with saying that, +2d6 of cold damage. Careful not to get frostbite
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63813
>>63811
Alright
>>63812
Kek

Infernius' turn
Anonymous
JD8Vj
?
No.63814
>>63809
I stand up. Pull out my holy symbol then cast Destruction on the giga juden.

l8rQ6
?
No.63815
[1d20 = 19]

l8rQ6
?
No.63816
63818
[10d6 = 34]
No saved, but still the creature is weakened by an intense blast of jackboots and nationalism.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63817
63819 63821
Tracy and Stix' turn, the former whom I assume is going to town on the increasingly injured foot?
Anonymous
JD8Vj
?
No.63818
>>63816
https://youtu.be/SuLWRAq-Kuk
T1/jE
?
No.63819
63820
[3d20 = 31]
>>63817
Tracy whips out Edgy and flanks the creatures leg, slashing viciously, intent on completely crippling the creature.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63820
>>63819
She's ditched the extra 5 AC from combat expertise now, and is just trying to fuck it up at her full attack bonus.
j9pwi
?
No.63821
63822
[3d20 = 30]
>>63817
Stix fires another three shots with Rapid Shot with his magical bow.
“Any ideas on how to stop this thing Trump”
l8rQ6
?
No.63822
[1d100 = 35]
>>63821
>1
At the beginning of an attack combo, that's unfortunate
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63823
So Stix falls over. I understood him still being on Fae's back, if so he would be falling off at this point.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63824
63825
Did Tracy's slashing ruin it's leg yet?
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63825
63826
>>63824
No, its achilles tendon is larger in diameter than Tracy's body.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63826
>>63825
Did she damage the creature though?
AwTOG
?
No.63827
63828 63829
image.gif
[5d20 = 54]
In a Chanel of all his faith and fury, Trumpaladin brings down Vanderiem like a sharp and swift hammer, channeling all his faith and fury into the repeated slashes.

He utters the following short prayer:
"Elway, give me the strength to smite all those who seek to wipe hope from this land, and bring justice for what has befallen our Port and Sparintenar. Praise American"

Slash Slash Slash Smite Smite with two smite evils, feather fall, and Divine might on all attacks. With Eagle's splendor that is +8 damage on every hit that lands and one turn undead expended.

The bonuses should be 28/23/18/21/21 with smite evil adding the +8 to the last attack and the feather fall attack, and with Trumpaladin claiming the Weapon Focus feat. Smite evil does +17 damage
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63828
>>63827
Hold up
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63829
>>63827
Fuck! I repeated myself in that paragraph
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63832
How much does she need to dig into this leg before it's crippled?
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63833
Sorry, the hold up was because it is Gigajew's turn before Trump's, but then I had to do something anyway
Anonymous
DZxif
?
No.63834
*lenos takes flight drom the roof od the keep and flies to the roof of the synagogue*
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63835
63840
As Trump readies to wail on the massive creature of noses, and as Lenos and Kiynen arrive on the rooftop, the Gigajew holds its arms out wide, and each one of its eyes glow red
GJ>Jew Beam
Everyone inside the Synogogue roll a saving throw
tNcz9
?
No.63836
[1d20+2 = 10]
[1d20 = 17]
Torc gets an extra +2 to all saves, so that one is his.
j9pwi
?
No.63837
[1d20 = 4]
Stix save throw
l8rQ6
?
No.63838
[1d20 = 9]

T1/jE
?
No.63840
[1d20+23 = 32]
>>63835
Reflex?
l8rQ6
?
No.63841
63843
[5d8 = 14]
K, everyone takes 5d8 damage
j9pwi
?
No.63842
[5d8 = 23]
Stix damage
T1/jE
?
No.63843
63844
[5d8 = 32]
>>63841

Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63844
>>63843
Fuck!
tNcz9
?
No.63846
[5d8 = 25]
[5d8 = 16]
>sigh
Top is Snek
>Gulp
Bottom is Torcuil
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63847
Trump/Fae need to take damage, otherwise its a new round
AwTOG
?
No.63848
[5d8 = 25]
[5d8 = 16]
Rolling
l8rQ6
?
No.63849
[1d100 = 19]
As everyone is stung by the crazy jew-beam, Trump dashes forward with Vandereim and strikes once, twice, a third time, before clasping the sword in both hands, delivering a devastating sever-strike, followed by yet another hit.
l8rQ6
?
No.63850
[1d100 = 72]
Max damage on sever, plus opponent rolls fumble
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63851
63852
So the Gigajew is stumbling (flat-footed) until its next turn, and Trump gets an extra attack roll, on top of his previously uncalculated damage.
AwTOG
?
No.63852
63853
[1d20 = 16]
>>63851
"For the Generals!"
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63853
63854 63855 63858
>>63852
And with his latest attack,... by the way, you guys need to be more on it about calculating critical thresholds. A nat 20 rolls on the critical table, but the critical threshold (as in, improved critical, keen weapons, etc.) still get double damage dice. Thez for example, gets a 16+ critical threat. I say "you guys" cuz it occurs to me that I've totally neglected it in the past. Like,... totally,...
Trump zips along the Gigajew, riding Fae solo after Stix fell off in an unfortunate dice roll. Weaving around reaching arms he strikes cleaving blow after cleaving blow, as Fae continually increases in height in an elevating spiral. Cresting to just over the full height of the creature, and not far from the top of the synogogue, Fae speeds into a dive, headed straight for the creature's face. As she dives, the creature attempts to swat at the pair, which is exactly what Fae had hoped would happen. Slicing once into the arm to disrupt its motion, Trump turns with his momentum and grips Vandereim in a devastating downward slice that severs the Gigajew's massive arm just at the upper bicep. With just a gesture and the energetic momentum Trump signals Fae back toward the monstrosity one final time. As they fly past, Trump digs Vandereim in the creature's chest right at the waistline and digs a canyon of ruined flesh across toward the opposite shoulder. In an absolute shower of jewish blood, the creature stumbles backward one step, and then two, finally falling at the apex of the temple, where it had formed in the first place.
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63854
63858
image.png
>>63853
"Praise Elway. Praise American."
tNcz9
?
No.63855
63856 63857
[2d8+5 = 16]
>>63853
Torc and Snek make their way to Stix
"You okay lad?"
Torc also take the opportunity to use his wand of cure moderate wounds on Snek
Anonymous
j9pwi
?
No.63856
63864
>>63855
Stix tries to hide his embarrassment about falling off in combat.
“It stings a bit, but I’ll manage”
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63857
63859 63864
>>63855
*humps leg*
"That was really cool how you cut that thing up, ~Flashy."
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63858
63860 63863
>>63853
>>63854
Trunpaladin instructs Fae to keep an eye on the carcass - if there is any further movement - then moves back to the fallen pony. He places his hand on the pony's chin

"Dominus Footballus Fuck the Seahawks... -us" he utters as a Latin sounding prayer, and with his lay of hands, heals the shaken pony.

"You did well. Here, and with the were rat on the balcony. Port Barry has not quite yet been avenged, but we may still set this right"
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63859
>>63857
"Gah!"

Trumpaladin is startled by the Blue Pony
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63860
>>63858
[happy pony noises]
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63861
63862 63864 63866
Its Seahawkus,... but whatever
Trump erotically massages Stix. Anyone else?
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63862
63866
>>63861
Tracy is still attached to his leg, waiting for attention
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63863
63865
>>63858
Wait, was this shit directed towards Stix?
tNcz9
?
No.63864
[2d8+5 = 15]
>>63857
I didn't see that second part for a second, and let me tell you,
Ho-lee fuk I was confused
>>63861
I'm confused again
>>63856
"Glad to hear, here lemme help"
Torc uses the wand on Stix too
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63865
>>63863
That's how I interpreted it
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63866
>>63861
TOP KEK!

>>63862
"Hi blue pony."

Trumpaladin places a finger to the pony's nose

"Boop"
Damage healed with Paladin's lay of hands.
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63867
Oh, Trump healed Stix....

I guess Torc's heal is directed at himself then
AwTOG
?
No.63868
63869
Trumpaladin moves away from the scene embarrassed and wobbles back towards Fae again
\r
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63869
>>63868
*is still on leg*
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63870
63872
So the Synogogue is pretty wrecked, pews tossed about here and there. Much of the architecture and wall is ornate, with gilt and other such embellishments. Aside from the giant body with X'ed out eyes all over it, there's a single smaller door in the back.
Anonymous
j9pwi
?
No.63871
63874
After being healed, Stix looks around.
“So... what do we do now? Are there any other threats?”
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63872
63873 63876
>>63870
Tracy takes one of the gigajew's teeth as a trophy, then moves to the door, taking 10 on her Trap Sense.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63873
63875
>>63872
Wait, can I take 10 on that?
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63874
>>63871
"I don't know. I guess we could look around"
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63875
63877
>>63873
What's Tracy's Trap sense?
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63876
>>63872
Trumpaladin gives Fae a pet, "splendid," and then goes towards the door
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63877
63878
>>63875
She has +4 trap sense ability, +4 int (with headband), and i think 15 ranks in search.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63878
>>63877
In that event, she could only take a 10 on a CR 3 trap
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63879
63880
To be able to take a 10 on a skill/attack/ability roll, you have to be able to have a +20 or more modifier
T1/jE
?
No.63880
63885
[1d20+23 = 42]
>>63879
Rolling to check spooky door.
Anonymous
DZxif
?
No.63881
63882 63883
*lenos flies down to the party*
Did you guys think to poke it in the eyes?
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63882
63884
>>63881
"Oh NOW you come to help"
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63883
>>63881
"It had too many to poke out."
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63884
63886
>>63882
He was melting the countryside with his ladyfriend.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63885
63887
>>63880
The spooky door only leads to a closet and a small office. There doesn't seem to be anything special behind the door, and Tracy rolled a 19.
Infernius makes his way inside, with Addy flitting along from shadow to shadow in the background.
Anonymous
DZxif
?
No.63886
>>63884
Yes I was. And making sure nothing came to reinforce the thing. You would only have to poke out a few eyes.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63887
63889
>>63885
Tracy ransacks the office, grabbing and examing anything that might be of interest.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63888
63890 63894
The whole of the area is mostly centered on a stage. There's rows and rows of pews, some of which have been kicked over or stepped on, all leading to a main oratory area with lots of pretty shiny embellishments and decorations that have some sort of jewish significance. Directly behind it is an oversized bookcase containing every single relevant text you could think of for jews (and they get exhaustive about EVERYTHING), back and to the left of which is the door that leads to the office and closet.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63889
63892
>>63887
Face it, Tracy wouldn't know it if she was looking at a 100k gp jewish debt-bond
Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63890
63891 63893
>>63888
Search the texts for anything related to "time travel" and "electric fields"
l8rQ6
?
No.63891
[1d20 = 12]
>>63890

Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63892
>>63889
>tfw don't have sheet so can't remember ranks in Appraise
Tracy just grabs shiny things out of habit, as she check to make sure the entrance to the tower isn't located here.
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63893
63896
>>63890
Its all in hebrew
tNcz9
?
No.63894
63895 63897
[1d20+23 = 26]
>>63888
Check'd
Torc decides to see if he recognizes anything magical
Knowledge (Arcane) check
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63895
63898
>>63894
There are some minor dwoemers and spells to make things glow and such, but nothing significantly or usefully magical.

Anonymous
AwTOG
?
No.63896
>>63893
Trumpaladin looks around to see if there is a control panel
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63897
>>63894
Infernius did say he wanted to make a knowledge religion check, but i think he's still looking for his charger
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63898
63899
>>63895
Glow you say?
If it's a scroll Torc takes it
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63899
63901 63902
>>63898
Its not a scroll
Addy skips up and gasps upon seeing the bookshelf.
She immediately begins climbing it.
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63900
63903
"Well, that was an ordeal." Tracy barks out, frustrated to find that she cannot access the tower through the temple, as she guessed
She returns to further mutilate the gigajew's corpse, occupying herself as she waits for the party to get ready to move on.
Then her eyes widen.
"Hey.. Where's Thez?"
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63901
63905
>>63899
I want to give her a whole bag of Haribo candies...
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63902
>>63899
Then what is it?
"Welp, nothing useful here. Unless you wanna look like a fucking lightning bug"
Anonymous
l8rQ6
?
No.63903
63904 63905 63906
>>63900
"I'm here," is called from another section of the synogogue.
Addy, who has climbed atop the bookshelf and is rocking back and forth on the intricately carved wave pattern-molded top piece, suddenly stops and says, "hey, those look like wheels."
Mrs. Sentry
T1/jE
?
No.63904
63907
>>63903
Tracy, with a peculiar look on her face, rushes over to stabilize the rocking shelf, before carefully moving it aside to see what's behind it.
Anonymous
tNcz9
?
No.63905
>>63901
Make sure they aren't sugar free
>>63903
"Hmm? What look like wheels?"
Torc turns in the direction she's pointing