>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,... love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,....).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but it does still happen, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
At the moment the party is starting to appreciate that - from their future-jumped perspective - the worst has already happened. All that is left is the denouement, but at the same time there's still a glimmer of hope. Deep within the ruined city of Durpistan, where Thez has made a last vestige of resistance against the forces of George Soros, the party contemplates their next move.
927 replies and 31 files omitted.
>>636917
"She got inside of the tower? Say again?"
>>63698Well done. Infernius continues to elude the ballista while Torcuil's fireball comes crashing in.
>>63700She's talking about the Synogogue
[10d6 = 40]
[3d20 = 33]
forgot dice
One of the operators successfully runs from his ballista before the fireball comes crashing in, escaping with some charring and burns, while the other two are flame broiled extra juicy.
[1d20 = 11]>>63701Alright, Trumpaladin dismounts Fae, approaches the surface of the Tower, and casts Dispel Magic on the surface
Caster check I guess
>>63703"Me love the smell of napalm in morning."
[1d20 = 15]
Stix hops off Fae for a look at the structure.
“Something doesn’t sit right with me about this.”
Stix looks for any inconsistencies in the surface
Search check
>>63697Wait, Thez in the building?
Thinking fast, Tracy activates her cape's pattern affect, hoping to blind/daze the beast long enough to get some distance from it. Using a Move action, she whirls her Amazing technicolor dreamcoat to gain one turn's concealment with her Cloak Dance.
>>63704He hears a "PEW" sound, as though of a bullet ricocheting off a hard surface.
>>63706The surface is the same polished darkened glass as before, but it hums irregularly.
[1d20 = 13][1d20+4 = 10]>>63707Thez is what crashed through the window. So Infernius and Torcuil have concluded their invasion. Trump, Fae, and Stix are examining the pyramid, and Thez and Tracy are squaring off with the one of many noses. Tracy, roll initiative.
>>63710Tracy is first, GJ 2nd, Thez 3rd. Despite her best attempts at hiding, the GJ seems to be looking
right at her.
>>63708"Well, that was a bust.Looks like my first assessment was more probably correct. But... One more thing to try."
With both arms, Trumpaladin picks up the adorable Stix pony and hold him. He then eyes the surface of the tower and with his memories, reconstructs an area inside of the top of the tower (is the control room in the top? I always imagined it was). And then with the signal word, he activates the dimension door helmet to try to transfer himself and stix into the top room of the tower
[1d20+22 = 34]>>63711Tracy is no longer hiding, but only using her cloak to gain temporary concealment for cheap attack.
Tracy, using her superior speed and mobility, makes a spirited charge at the beast's leg, slashing it with Edgy in an attempt to cut it's sinew and making a ride-by attack so as to put herself on the opposite side of Thez.
>>63714*to put the creature between her and Thez
tl;dr, she hopes to flank it on her next turn, if possible.
[1d20 = 7]>>63715Gotcha
Gigajew sprays mucous in a circular radius around it. Tracy and Thez roll a reaction save.
[2d20 = 33]>>63719Tracy and Thez both deftly avoid the spraying mucous, which neatly coats the surrounding environment. Thez flexes her left hand, "Ten-" <whoooof> "-kesdu!" she yells, initiating the first of several attacks, its self a spinning, overhead axe-kick, as a stunning attack.
>>63712Meanwhile, Trump attempts to <blink> into the tower. For his efforts, he gets a very hearty jolt.
[3d20 = 32]
Thez' stunning kick lands, temporarily stalling the foe. As she tumbles past and down, Thez makes another 3 attacks.
[2d20 = 5]
... finishing with a reflex saving throw against slipping in mucous, followed by a leg sweep.
[4d20 = 50]
From her flanking position, Tracy makes a full round attack with her chain, stabbing at various noses (which she assumes house the creatures vitals).
Take my sneak attack, Gigastein!
[1d20 = 17]
After being zapped along with trump:
“Ow. This thing won’t give us a break it seems. There has to be something around here. Wouldn’t you think so?”
Stix checks around the structure for any suspicious inconsistencies.
Search check
>>63726wait, i guess its not her turn..
Leave that as a ready action then.
Yeah, that was a fail for Thez, looking up how bad real quick, still 4 solid strikes tho. While she's failing miserably,
>>63726Ripping and gouging along the creatures, exposed leg Tracy lands 3 solid blows.
>>63729I g2g in the next half hour..
Tracy, remaining in optimal flanking position, readies herself to make another full-round Sneak Attack on her turn, taking a 5-foot step to remain directly in line with Thez if necessary.
>>63729Unless Stix's Search around the Tower revealed something, Trumpaladin grabs the pony, gets on Fae, and flies off. If there is a top of that keep where they can throw rocks off of, then there is a place to land ontop of it. Trumpaladin has Fae land there, ripping skulls off if necessary, with Stix providing ranged attacks
That's all i can do for tonight.
Goodnight, m8s.
[1d20 = 2]>>63731Fae lands along the balcony of the keep's tower, and notices that Lenos (in dragon form) and Kiynen have taken up similar postitions, observing from overhead. Screams can be heard from a ways up the hill, but the keep its self appears still and quiet.
>>63730The Gigajew uses special attack: Stimulus package. Tracy and Thez roll a saving throw.
>>63732Quick! Roll a saving throw!
>>63733Enters the structure from the balcony level, dismounting Fae if necessary
>>63738The area is in disuse. There are several devices around that if maintained, could be used effectively, but seem questionable at best.
>>63740Mounted crossbows and shit. Its all old and decrepid. What are you on about?
>>63741like a control panel, anything electrical, a lever, a passageway underground...
Trumpaladin goes deeper into the structure
>>63742It is a barracks area, shrouded in cobwebs and dust. There are some old and rusted weapons leaning in spots, but no sign of any military grouping, despite this being an apparent and obvious military installation.
>>63743Does it appear to be older than 15 years?
Trumpaladin tries to go down in the structure to ground level
>>63744No, but its been several years since its been in use, by appearance and by literal story
>>63745S was the Keep as I recall. What were the other two structures besides the Synagogue (as is the best guess) visible from the air?
\r
>>63747P looks like a series of shops, S is the synogogue actually, k is the keep, and I looks like an Inn.
[1d4+1 = 2]>>63746A>"I dunno, but something inside sounds big, and mad. Mom told me to stay outside tho."
Sorry, the HEY from before was a navi shitpostMeanwhile, both Thez and Tracy failed their saving throws and have been stunned for dice rounds by a spray of gold nuggets fired out in every direction by every nostril.
The windows of the synagogue shatter outward with the partial spray of gold nuggets. The oversized multinosed monstrocity reeeeees at the unrecoverable nuggets that escaped outside. It turns angrily toward Tracy, who it has had its ankle devastated by.
>>63750>>63751Uh... Would Trumpaladin (or Fae or Stix) have reason to notice any of this?
Or care [1d20+16 = 19]
From the top of the Keep, Fae does a spot check for activity
>>63752Well they didn't seem too bothered by the deafening roars, why would they care about the breaking glass? e_e
>>63753From the Keep's position lower on the hill, she can't see anything out of the ordinary. The keep is/was intended as a defensive structure for the base of the hill, not against the top where the synogogue is.
>>63754>>63754When was there a deafening roar?
>>63750>>63754*runs to the synagogue of Satan*
>>63756"Addy follow me but stay out sight"
>>63758Oh. I guess they fly to that then
Since Thez is there and she knows the security settings on the Tower... [1d20 = 13]>>63757A>"Okkay," she says, holding the darkwood staff, flitting from shadow to shadow
Adeline pulls up her hood, granting +10 bonus to hide in shadows, which are everywhere because of a darkness charm on the staff, following closely behind Infernius.
Trump, Stix, and Fae fly in from the recently cleared and searched keep. Meanwhile, Thez lost her footing and got hit by the gold nuggets, where Tracy only got hit by the nuggets and is still standing. The giga-jew adjusts its position and raises a foot over Tracy for a stomp.
No dex bonus, no dodge bonus, ac is -2 cuz stunned.
>>63761Are they in range for an arrow, a roar, a pounce, or a slash?
"Yippee aye-yay!"
>>63761>no dex bonus to ACTracy has improved uncanny dodge; can't she still evade?
>>63763Well, I guess Thez does too, so obviously not.
[2d20+12 = 30]>>63763As the monstrosity of jewness levels its foot above Tracy for a deterministic stomp a large shadow, almost a swirl of the darkest smoke given a semblance of form and purpose, darts out from the shadows and attacks the giant's stable foot.
I forgot to mention it should be taking 2 points of strength damage every time she flanks it because of Crippling Strike.
It should've lost ~6 points from those few hits.
[1d8 = 3]>>63767Good to know. It just lost more.
[1d20+22 = 40]
Disrupted by this new attack, the Gigajew foregoes its first attack and takes a step back. With its second attack, it swipes at the shadow.
[8d12+24 = 62]
[1d6+14 = 19]
Successfully, the shadow is torn into smaller pieces
[1d20+22 = 29]
With its last attack, the giant readies its other foot and stomps down on Thez.
The Gigajew screams triumphantly at the conclusion of its attack sequence, still standing on what moments ago was Thez.
[2d20 = 24]>>63772"You fucking bitch!" Tracy screams in response her eyes darting from the giant beast to Thez,
Because her faggot was too much of a drooling retard to do it earlier, she designates gigajew as her Dodge target, to gain +4 dodge bonus to AC. She takes a -5 penalty to her Attack rolls to gain +5 more AC with Combat Expertise. Gripping her defending dagger in her maw and focusing on her chain, she draws out their enhancement bonus to gain another +7 AC. And her new armor class is... a lot.
Now, thinking fast Tracy's mind flashes back to the moments she spent bullfighting with Infernius, she whirls her sparkling cape to gain total concealment until her next turn with Cloak Dance, as a move action.
With a whirl of colors, for a moment, it seems as though there are two Tracys, who both lash out with their chains.
With her chain in her claws and her mantle aflutter, Tracy uses her last standard action to make two attacks from concealment with her chain, both at her newly adjusted bonus of +15. She targets the leg she attacks earlier, stabbing into the arteries in hopes she damage the beast's leg to an extent that it won't be able to stomp anymore.
Take my cheap, slippery min-maxed attack style, you sniffling freak!
>>63773Where are you claiming all of these feats from? None of these were listed the last time you listed six
>>63774She got Cloak dance at the same time Infernius was learning Improved Bull Rush. I gave up Leadership for Combat Expertise.
>>63775You mentioned it like once in a couple days in between sessions. In actual SRD you only get feats every three levels or as class or race related bonuses. In GMs special things you need 40-50 hours in game time, and that's 40-50 hours that can't be spent killing things or traveling or tending to birds. You don't get a free feat every week of real life time that goes by.
>>63776That's not what I'm doing.
>>63774TBH, I do remember cloak dance. It was something that when presented I decided I wanted Thez to have it too (and would have had were I aware of it previously).
Like a Valkyrie riding a Pegasus, the Man with gleaming silver armor and dazzling strawberry blonde hair raises his sword high as he flies in, atop a gilded and shimmering lioness. Her outstreched and dragon like wings carry her a few inches over the broken stained glass windows of the ersatz church, her forward claws and fangs stretched and waiting to exact vengeance. Behind the man, a small pony peaks out a bow, string pulled back and arrow readied.
"Alright you European-style socialist sons a bitches! In the name of Elway and all that is holy, it is time to end your blight upon this land forever, and return you to the oblivion you belong!"
So where exactly did we leave off with Torc and Snek?
>>63782Weren't they examining the pyramid?
>>63783I was under the impression that I was being told not to, and I haven't done anything since he cast fireball
Then Torc is arriving outside the Synogogue at about the same time as Infernius and Addy by foot, and Trump, Stix, and Fae, by Fae, who wastes no time and flies in the very same window Thez entered from. Speaking of Thez, she's right outside the building, nearly collapsed from being stunned but still maintaining her footing. "Tracy,...." she stammers out.
>>63785"Huh, guess we're using the windows"
Torc climbs on Snek
who is hopefully under the effect of Fly, and they enter through the same window.
>>63785*rushes to thezs side*
"You ok ana?"
*puts himself in between her and the giga kike*
*takes stance*
"Burn."
>>63787The Gigajew is inside. "I'm just catching my breath. Watch out for his nose. Use some protection spell or something,"
>>63785How close is the window from Gigajew?
>>63789Not immediately, but the Gigajew is friggin huge if Stix wants to shoot it in an eye
Trumpaladin glimmers extra glimmingly as he casts (cast?) Eagles Splendor on himself and Fae
>>63788*protection from evil*
"Me ready to oven this kike*
*moves in to the building*
[3d20 = 23]>>63790Sounds like a plan
Stix speaks to the paladin
“What is this abomination?”
He quickly takes aim at the monster and uses Rapid Shot to get three shots in at 9/9/4
I think >>63793"I have no idea. But it is evil and unholy, and we are not getting out of here until it is gone"
>>63792The door is barred, but the windows are blasted open, including a rather large one.
>>63793The shots embed in the thick skin of the creature, but don't seem to affect it all. However, their presence has given it more to think about than squishing Tracy so that's a win I guess. Roll for initiative.
>>63796Infernius fails, and falls down on his butt. Thez regains her composure and <whooooof> re-enters the building. This precludes Thez from this round of initiative, but puts her in 1st place next round.
[2d20 = 29]
Initiative for Snek and Torc. Snek takes higher roll