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Super Lazy Nuts
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34464
This is the Nuts thread. Its based on D&D 3.5e rules,... but only loosely, and only as a baseline. It's really an anything goes free-for-all, continuous RP thread. If ur interested, say "Hi" or announce yourself and GM or participants will be happy to assist. In the meantime, much of the party just jumped into the Ethereal Plane to murder some shit, cuz why not? We haven't killed anything (well Thez has) in like 3-4 days now (real-time, not game time) and like I said, why not?
945 replies and 62 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34880
>>34878
kek
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34881
34884
>>34877
Or on fire,....
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34882
34883
>>34877
They can dismount

>>34878
Fucking Torcuil and his pet fucking things up for us

"That was Torcuil damn it! He attacked! I, by contrast, never break a convanent. I would never do as he did.

After all, you all are so much more valuable to me alive"
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34883
34885 34889
>>34882
>dismount
Sure, but to Sneak Attack something by herself, wouldn't she have to leave him alone at a distance, which she wouldn't do..


Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34884
34888
>>34881
She can turn into a heavy warhorse too with a Control Shape check, can't she?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34885
34886
>>34883
They can be on either side of a road as bandits approach, Trump in the open in the front and her sneaking up on the flank
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34886
34889
>>34885
... maybe..

Will we have time to get to any combat tomorrow?
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34887
It's late. I'm going to bed.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34888
34890
>>34884
Do you mean while mounted?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34889
>>34883
Technically, she just has to be behind them or striking from concealment
>>34886
Yes

Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34890
34893
>>34888
I don't see why not.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34892
34894
>>34891
Does she need a Concentration check?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34893
34895
>>34890
Sorry, but I do. 'Night
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34894
34896
>>34892
Every round?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34895
>>34893
Am of confused
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34896
34897
>>34894
To assume hybrid shape. Does Control Shape require a check every round?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34897
34898 34899
>>34896
If you're mounted, which was what we agreed turns her into a cauchemar entirely, yes.
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34898
34901
>>34897
Oh, so she has to stay in monstrous form while mounted? It doesn't just require a Control Shape check to evade involuntary transformation?
Alright then, noted for the future.
Also, to fake death, does that require a Bluff check or a perform check?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34899
>>34897
>>34897
But if she stops smoking and flaming, she just looks like a dark blue Shire plow horse in a weird amount of black leather, right?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34900
I'm sorry. I can't meta any longer. Passing out.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34901
34902 34903
>>34898
Pick your poison, either one could be put to the dice.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34902
34904 34905
>>34901
Why would Thez have intervened to save Torcuil, but she didn't give a shit when he shot me, and a while ago, when I asked Thez "can you please stop Torcuil from coming to kill me" she basically responded "don't be afraid of death you coward"?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34903
34905
>>34901
Can a player make itself appear dead with a bluff check.
I was exhausted, so I had the shitty idea to use her +19 Bluff check to play possum, since a nightmare's flames go out when it dies. It's a retarded idea. I need to sleep...
Can her glasses create an illusion that overshadows the illumination affect?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34904
>>34902
It was a good shot.
There was little time to intervene anyway. Drawing the gun is a free action with those cuff-links.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34905
34906
>>34902
Because I told you, it didn't harm you, it just stung.
>coward
Thez is a shitposter
>>34903
Sleep, I'll think on it.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34906
34907
>>34905
You said before that Tracy can control the smoke and flames at will right?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34907
34909 34910
>>34906
Being mounted turns her into +1600 pounds of pure sex; she'd have to roll every turn to avoid involuntary transformation, like a werewolf, apparently.
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34908
Alright, now I'm absolutely going to bed.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34909
34910 34911 34912
>>34907
Think of it as an involuntary response to being so close to Flashy Kun, since you keep insisting on that e_6
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34910
>>34907
>+1600 pounds of pure sex
Okay, that made me laugh for a solid minute. I remember going through the old threads and seeing "1200 pounds of pure sex" and that was hilarious as well

>>34909
So can she not turn fire and smoke off while riding her?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34911
34912 34914
>>34909
A psychosomatic change seems appropriate. It implies that she has the latent power to take that form, but just doesn't have any idea how to use it unless she's in the mood.
>Didn't sleep
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34912
34913 34914
>>34909
>>34911
A Paladin's mount gives god tier buffs, so I'm going with "Elway stepped in to channel and maybe add power so she can be full form"
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34913
34914 34915
>>34912
You're implying that a Divegrass playing Fiend is channeling football energy? Nah, i'd say it's just that she discovers the necessary excitement to attain a complete transformation.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34914
>>34911 IKR
>>34912 This
>>34913 Both


Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34915
34916 34918
>>34913
Hardly. Tracy is an evil of the sort that needs to be either Destroyed or in someway harnessed and controlled. Destruction was not possible or at least not desirable under the circumstances, so a creative method of harnessing is used - make her a paldin's mount, which makes full use of the Jew powers and adds in Elway powers as well
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34916
34917
>>34915
Gasp! The power to harness the jew!
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34917
151025111221-trump-thumbs-up-1021-full-169.jpg
>>34916
It's a pretty Kick Ass deity
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34918
34919
>>34915
>Jew powers
It wasn't all Jewish power. Half of that was Thez's blood too. I made a point of having her take both beakers so she would be neither lawful nor Chaotic from it (because nightmares are neutral), and instead find her create her own form of ebil.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34919
34920 34921
7de.gif
>>34918
You mean the powers Thez got from that psycho uber-feminist? So you have jew powers and feminist powers?
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34920
34921 34922
>>34919
>Uber-feminist
Wat?

Are there any other fiends Tracy can eat? They can't all be Jewish.
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34921
34922 34923
>>34919
>>34920
What kind of powers does feminism give you?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34922
34923 34924
>>34920
Thez's devil sire was the Golden Lady, who is a bitch so feminist she could work in Hollywood. When you take Thez's demon powers, you are taking the Golden Lady's demon powers

>>34921
You tell me
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34923
>>34922
*devil
>>34921
Not all devils and fiends are feminists and jews, these ones happen to be.
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34924
34925
>>34922
What about her was feminist? She just seemed like the kind of high-and-mighty, condescending sort of character you'd expect from a literal god.
>You tell me
Alright
*Throws him off her back*
*Sits on*
We on top nao
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34925
34926
>>34924
My Character and Infernius had a very long conversation with Thez that you were not present for that explained the Golden Lady

Bad pony
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34926
34927 34928 34930
If she has Jew power, can she smell gold and weasle out of tipping at restaurants?
>>34925
>you were not present for
Quick rundown?

*Butt obscures world*
*Tears off shoes and pants*
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34927
34928 34929
>>34926
>inb4 >rape
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34928
34929 34930
>>34926
"Be gentle with those damn it!"

I asked a large number of questions about why the Golden Lady paralyzed Torcuil, Infernius and I, while Tracy and Tay were ignored. The answer was something along the lines of those two responding in a particularly "feminine" form of defiance that she wanted to hear while I attempted to talk my way out and Torcuil and Infernius, while defiant, weren't defiant in quite the right way. She said that in general the golden lady is a sort of upholder of that which is feminine, I guess in the lawful evil sense

>>34927
If i can call a mount I can deflate a mount right?

Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34929
34932
>>34927
It'll only be that way if he has the gall to resist, but yes.

I'm too exhausted to type it out though. Whatever happened, she sat on him the whole time.
>>34928
>Deflate
He'd still have a 1200-1400 pound warhorse on his face, and this position could arguably count as mounted, from a psychosomatic perspective (it's all in her head, after all).
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34930
34931 34932
>>34926
Seriously though, Trump is in full plate, and Tracy is sitting on him. Its not as simple as declaring 'ripping his pants off'.
>>34928
>deflate
As in dismiss? No.
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34931
34933
>>34930
She can use her jaws to tear things off, can't she?
She could at least open the armor hatch (all medieval suits of armor have one) for easy access.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34932
34933 34934
>>34929
>it's all in her head, after all
No it ain't. A Paladin's mount is a gift from the deity to help him in his quest

>Whatever happened, she sat on him the whole time
Like what could she do?

>>34930
I can't dismiss a mount?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34933
34934 34935
>>34931
>hatch
Yes, but there's Korak's pimp suit to contend with in that event.
>>34932
Not a player mount, no
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34934
34935 34937
69
>>34932
I remember at least four verses that included having secks with horses as part of the "Quest".
>>34933
... Hypothetically could the Pimp suit be repaired?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34935
34936 34937
>>34933
What do I have to roll to get myself out of this? An opposed grapple check? An attack of opportunity? Can I put the helm on?

>>34934
Oh don't you dare damage that pimp suit you faggot!
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34936
34938
>>34935
She's got both his arms, torso, and head pinned under her Yuge-class butt.
..You wanted to see the feminist powers in action...
*Refrains from ripping through suit*
*Carefully unbuttons*
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34937
34940 34941 34942
>>34934
The pimp suit exceeds anyone's current ability to modify or repair.
>>34935
Technically, the whole thing is contestable since no dice have been rolled yet.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34938
34939
>>34936
I think she's too big for a successful 69
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34939
34942
>>34938
Long neck, high dexterity.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34940
34941
>>34937
Oh well then he sure as shit better not damage it if we can't even find a tailor for it
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34941
34943
>>34937
>>34940
It can't be tailored? Wasn't it originally made to fit a Dwarf?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34942
34944 34945
>>34937
GM, is >>34939 accurate and Cauchemar tracy could at once sit on a guy's torso but also suck him off?

Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34943
34944
>>34941
I would think a Paladin's mend spell could do something
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34944
34945 34946
>>34942
Ever seen a horse sit? She could reach.
He should focus on his part, because he's not moving until she's happy.
>>34943
I thought that only worked on non-magical objects?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34945
34946
>>34942
You seriously want a ruling. Thats not a question, I'm marveling. Since you asked, I wonder if he can stick his head up innit.
>>34944
>reach
You're not helping
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34946
34947 34949
1507355229015.gif
>>34944
....I don't like oral sex

>>34945
That was a legit question because I have no idea
Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34947
34948
>>34946
Neither do I. This is feminism.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34948
34950
>>34947
No feminism! Do it the way God intended - with the semen in the horse vagina. She can be on top if she wants
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34949
>>34946
Logistically speaking, yes, she could reach.
I gotta crash, catch you guys later

Anonymous
NBd4A
?
No.34950
34951
>>34948
Alright, you sexist, bigot.
*Turns around and does whatever until her faggot recovers from hibernation, pinning him the whole time*

Goodnight
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.34951
35046
>>34950
*Is milked by demon horse*
NBd4A
?
No.34954
>*is sat on until passed out*
>*wakes up the next morning in camp*
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34955
34956
>>34820
Can I get an answer to that multi-weapon fighting feat?
I want to impale targets three times at once.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34956
34958
>>34955
Yes, while it doesn't afford any additional attacks/round, it could enable a simultaneous triple-stab sneak attack.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34957
9c822fda313f2a6c62e8f1c75abdc40c.jpg
DFWAdRCUIAAQnhQ.jpg
sneakattack.jpg
a68a11af2ffde9777f09feb35464532b.jpg
dd-meme-why-do-rogues-prefer-leather-armor.jpg

Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34958
34959
1779339_0.jpg
>>34956
>triple-stab sneak attack
That's all I needed.
Can I make a Triple Death Attack too?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34959
34960
>>34958
As long as the victim is studied for 3 rounds before performing the 3x, the sneak attack (so damage) can also be a death attack (save or die).
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34960
34961
>>34959
Does a Death Attack stack with a sneak attack? Do targets still take sneak attack damage if they succeed their saving throws?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34961
34962 34966
>>34960
It can, yes. Sneak attack by its self is easier to do, but sneak/death attack is perfectly permissible.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34962
34963 34964
Dnd_696697_6026462.jpg
>>34961
Great.
For the sake of range estimate, what kind of monster (hit-dice wise) can she one-shot with a good sneak attack at her level? I just want to figure out what I can hope will die on the first strike.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34963
stealth-funny-motivational-poster.jpg
>>34962
Wrong meme.
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.34964
>>34962
A level 12 rogue can deal 6d6, or about 21 additional damage with a sneak attack. If all three strikes land, that's 63 damage. So you could kill a Torcuil, for example
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34965
34972
bearhunting.jpg
Also, can she go hunting in the morning during the time Trumpaladin is asleep in the cuckshed she built overnight?
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.34966
34971
>>34961
Why would Tracy have three attacks per round? A level 12 rogue only has 2 attacks per round
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34967
34969 34971
Tracy is 1 Blackguard, 1 Assassin, and 14 Rogue yes?
Assuming all three hit it would be: [A+B+C weapon damage (including bonuses)]+45d6, in that each attack (weapon) is a separate sneak attack, gaining the 15d6 damage off the weapon's specific damage.
So lots.
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.34968
34971
>>34783
tries not to get erect... fails.
>>34772
>>34788
where is infernuis on the list?
>>34785
this.
>>34787
i do.
>>34786
its in my backstory queer.
>>34796
dont feel so down, this is the song i think of when it comes to tracy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdpt4W7_XNg
>>34810
this.
>>34819
what scimitar?
>>34822
i said i give an infernuis stunner (like stone cold.)
>>34838
if you murder any of my men we will have an issue.


Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.34969
34970
>>34967
Now where the hell do those numbers come from? The wiki says
The rogue’s attack deals extra damage any time her target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has a Dexterity bonus or not), or when the rogue flanks her target. This extra damage is 1d6 at 1st level, and it increases by 1d6 every two rogue levels thereafter. Should the rogue score a critical hit with a sneak attack, this extra damage is not multiplied.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34970
34971
>>34969
Excuse me, I used the wrong multiples. Yes, it would be 24d6, not 45d
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34971
34974
>>34966
Ponies mouths count as hands for the purpose of holding tools.
The multi-weapon fighting feat allows for characters with three or more "hands" to hold an equal number of weapons without penalty.
>>34967
I think I'll only advance her as a Rogue from now on.. I wanted Aura of Despair, but I think she'll be better off getting to ebin level first, so she can get one of those ebin bonus feats.
>>34968
She'll only murder pirates who cause trouble, alright? She won't touch anyone who might be missed.
>where is Infernuis on the list?
not telling (also, I threw away the key to the point system)I really like your character though
>>34970
How much damage is that per turn?
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34972
34974
>>34965
Like what kind of game is there in the forest?
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34973
34975
What's Trumpaladin's base attack bonus?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34974
34976 34977
>>34971
That would depend on the weapons used (must be piercing), but its that's an increased damage of + 24<x<144 over the modified damage all the combined weapons,... so yeah, murder.
>>34972
There's game. You can hunt if you want, but I'm not gonna do full combat for it. Roll a survival check to catch something.
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.34975
34977
>>34973
16 11 6 1
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.34976
34978
>>34974
I think you're including the assassin and blackguard levels into it, when only the rogue levels count. It should be 7d6 per attack that lands, for 21d6 if all three land. Also, does she have 12 ranks in rogue and 3 in blackguard or 14 ranks in rogue and 1 in black guard?
NBd4A
?
No.34977
34979 34980
[1d20+19 = 30]
>>34974
*duct-tapes snoring Trumpaladin to back*
Rolling survival
>>34975
Is the cumulative the "base"? Or is it just 16 as the base?
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34978
34981
>>34976
No, assassin also gets sneak damage dice, which expressly stack with rogue sneak.
>levels
That's my one question. I don't remember which.
NBd4A
?
No.34979
[1d20+20 = 30]
>>34977
Also, Move Silently, so he doesn't wake up.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34980
34982
>>34977
16 is the base, and each additional attack gets 5 less for bonus
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34981
>>34978
>levels
Now I'm confused too..
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.34982
34983 34986 34987
>>34980
Epic prestige classes like Divine Emissary require a 23 base attack bonus. How does one attain that if their attack bonus doesn't increase after 20th level?