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Super Lazy Nuts
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.34464
This is the Nuts thread. Its based on D&D 3.5e rules,... but only loosely, and only as a baseline. It's really an anything goes free-for-all, continuous RP thread. If ur interested, say "Hi" or announce yourself and GM or participants will be happy to assist. In the meantime, much of the party just jumped into the Ethereal Plane to murder some shit, cuz why not? We haven't killed anything (well Thez has) in like 3-4 days now (real-time, not game time) and like I said, why not?
945 replies and 71 files omitted.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35185
35188 35191
>>35182
"It was a collapse-able platform, that could be quickly placed or removed allowing access to the pocket. I don't know how it worked." True
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35186
35187 35189
>>35183
>Out of range for a surprise attack
Then i have time to get Vanderiem drunk
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35187
35190 35191
This is why random encounters are gay, cuz players always "know stuff"
>>35186
You're carrying booze? I recall no acquisition of booze,....
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35188
>>35171
>>35185

Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35189
35192
>>35181
[frisky nightmare noises]
"D-do we charge, Flashy? They're ebil r-right? I can stab them? Let me stab something..!"
>>35184
Gib dialogue, faggot
Is that an order to charge or to kill?
>>35186
No you don't.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35190
35193 35194
>>35187
I acquired three bottles from the kitchen of grain alcohol before leaving to go somewhere, I think it was before leaving to Krenshall
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35191
35194
>>35185
"Did he have a name for it?"
Torc stands up and acts like he's getting ready to leave
>>35187
I had to ask how stats affect rolls, do you think I know shit?
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35192
35193
1510091912910.jpeg
>>35189
>"Charge them. Stab them. Get me closer. I want to hit it with my sword"
NBd4A
?
No.35193
35194 35195
[3d20 = 25]
>>35190
You don't need it.

Fug it, I don't care what I "know".
Tracy loses her patience and makes a flying leap over the birds, frenzied to stab something. She blows smoke ahead as she goes.
>>35192
"Wish granted!"
*charges*
Rolling for a ride-by attack on the nearest bird.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35194
35197 35203
>>35190
GM suspects Trump is playing on his laziness and unwillingness to pour through previous logs
e_e Fine, Trump pops a flask, or skin, or whatever he's keeping this alcohol in, and offers it to Vandereim. "Now you're talking lad!" he says.
"Squawk? SQUAWK!"
"Squawk!" "Squawk, squawk!"
>>35191
"No, it was just a device. What it was called wasn't ever relevant." True
>know shit
I wasn't talking about you.
The lead bird starts charging toward the sound, detecting Trump in the process. Since Trump is readied, he has opportunity.
>>35193
Hit, miss, miss.

hij0+
?
No.35195
[4d20 = 45]
>>35193
Trumpaladin's readied attack would be triggered when he gets in range of a bird. He tries to aim for a different bird than Tracy if in range, and the same if not
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35196
35199
Three more birds crest the incline the previous one came from, with the sound of more emanating from behind them.
The only one Tracy has the chance to attack is the lead one, which is charging toward Trump
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35197
35199 35200
>>35194
If Trump does not have Thez's girdle then the bonuses are +26 +21 +16 +11 with bull's strength and drunkenness cancelling each other out
hij0+
?
No.35199
[4d20 = 32]
>>35196
Roll again? Okay. See >>35197 (You) which I think is accurate as to attack bonuses
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35200
35202
>>35197
It doesn't freaking matter, just Smite! You've gotr Spirited charge with these shoes, you could knock-out just about anything with a mounted melee.
>>35198
Make it a ride-by attack.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35201
35202
As the lead bird runs toward Trump, Tracy breaks from concealment and makes a ahem ride-by attack
>>35198
Too late. Tracy is already committed, as is Trump.
Grrrrrr
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35202
35204
>>35200
>Spirited charge with these shoes, you could knock-out just about anything with a mounted melee
Huh?

Ride by sure, Just he slashes

>>35201
We're mounted and never dismounted
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35203
35228
>>35194
"Eh fair enough"
Torc throws his snek down, transfoming it into Mr. Snek. He talks to Mr. Snek a bit, then stands back up.
"Okay, thank you Susan. You have been quite helpful. Infernius, if he mentions anything else please send a message with Mr. Snek."
Mr. Snek: *tounge flick*
Torc heads to the library
Js2CQ
?
No.35204
35205 35206
[1d8 = 3]
Tracy's damage (without str and other modifiers for damage)
Gashing the bird as it runs toward Trump, he gets a single attack of opportunity before this turns into an initiative-based melee.
>>35202
You do realize that voids all the stealth and shit right?
hij0+
?
No.35205
35207
[1d20 = 4]
>>35204
Make attack


Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35206
35207 35209
>>35204
I don't know how all of these billions of game mechanics work. I just know that when I asked if I was dismounted or not, Tracy's faggot said no
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35207
35208
>>35205
>not Smiting
"...Flashy?!"
>>35206
It's too late now.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35208
>>35207
I've been conservative because I only have 4 smite evils... maybe that should have been one of them
>"Am I fucked? I do not know"
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35209
35210 35211 35213
>>35206
Why are you asking Tracy if Trump dismounted or not? My impression was that he did, since Tracy wanted to hide, since otherwise hiding while mounted would have required a bunch of checks that I see none of.
This requires a serious re-iteration of "what happened". Next time this happens, someone is getting nerfed.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35210
35211 35212
1513041690596.png
>>35209
So what happens next?
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35211
>>35209
Well, it seems we fighting on the ground now, so it's assumed that he dismounted.
If not already, Tracy grows to full size and begins filling the area with smoke.
She activates her robe for increased concealment.
>>35210
Get ready to defend yourself.
Did you bother to put any ranks into Ride?
Js2CQ
?
No.35212
35213
[3d20 = 15]
[1d10 = 4]
>>35210
For continuity's sake, I'm going with the Tracy dash attack, followed by the Trump opportunity attack. Trump's attack lands, dice plus modifiers,... which kills it. As it runs up on Trump, he slices vigorously into its body, and it goes falls skidding to the ground in a heap. Three more are visible, and others aren't far behind. Initiative roll Trump, Tracy, Birds.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35213
35214 35215
>>35209
Look, D&D has nine billion different rules. I cannot learn all of these while also needing to study anti-trust law copy-right law professional ethics US naturalization law adminsitrative law relation-back rules in civil procedure while dealing with a laptop that breaks and the daily need to get food. So I do not know all of the rules by heart. I've studied up on the ones that generally apply to my character. Hiding is not one of those things that normally apply to mine. And while mounted combat applies to mine, I have npt studied it very hard. Tracy's faggot knows hiding. He knows mounted combat. Hence, I asked him if under x circumstance it would be necessary to mount or dismount.

>>35212
Glad it dies
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35214
35216 35217 35218
>>35213
Alright, I'm sorry if I misled you.
Let's just finish the encounter.

Tracy is in hunting mode, on orders to finish off these creatures, but she tenses at seeing her husband attacked, and instinctively steps back a bit, looking concerned.
"F-Flashy, are you alright?!"
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35215
35220
The 3 lead birds move more into view and 2 of them squawk while another charges. Another four fill in behind them.
Initial distance is ~40', so no one is range of attack. Movement/support/technical actions only.
>>35213
I know, and I appreciate your position. I'm trying to make combat as fluid and seamless as possible. It worked right up until the "Trump is still mounted" bit, which made the previous impossible, so I'm line-item-vetoing it. Trump has last move in this situation, and the birds have already moved. Tracy has action, but she's not in range to attack.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35216
35220
>>35214
>"I'm super, sweetie"
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35217
35220
>>35214
He never got attacked, it died at his feet. There's still 7 of them, and Tracy can attempt to hide again, or she could engage, use an ability, move/position, or something I've omitted.
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35218
35220
>>35214
Fuck it.
"Want to be ridden pony?"
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35219
35221
The birds are essentially in a triangle formation, with 4 at the back, 2 at the middle, and one charging.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35220
35221 35226 35227
>>35215
Tracy looses her chain and gets ready to attack the birds as soon as the come in range, blowing smoke and activating her cloak.
>>35217
That's not what she would've thought though. She only saw a monster running at her husband; she didn't care if it landed or not.
>>35216
She turns to the side and puts her body between Trumpaladin and the and the birds.
>>35218
"YES!"
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35221
35223
>>35219
>>35220
Trumpaladin mounts horsey if possible
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35223
35226
>>35221
Put more ranks into ride from now on.
Rapid Mounting/Dismounting is a DC 20 check.

Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35225
35230
>back
Torc arrives at the library and looks for books about magical items or dimensions
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35226
35229 35231
>>35220
You can expend your action for the round closing in on Trump's position, if being mounted is your intention.
>>35223
This, though Trump is out of range and has a full round to mount, since that seems his intention.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35227
35230 35231
>>35220
[irrationally-protective nightmare noises]
*smoke fumes*
I said I threw away the charts, but I remember the courses of action.

I g2g for 5-10 minutes....
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35228
35230 35237
>>35203
*scratches behind mr sneks eyes*
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35229
35230
>>35226
"so vrees do you wish to be free?"
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35230
35232 35234 35235 35237
>>35225
A cursory review indicates that whatever item he is describing is not listed, and is therefore a custom-fabrication.
>>35228
Snek likes this one.
>>35227
So, I have it at Tracy closed so Trump could mount, and is beginning to billow smoke.
>>35229
"Does a bear shit pope, who wandered into the woods and found himself face-to-face with a bear?"
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35231
35233 35234
>>35227
Back.
>>35226
Can he use those Flanking boots to close the distance next turn?
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35232
>>35230
This guy is awfully sarcastic.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35233
35236
>>35231
eye-twitch
I was under the impression that Trump was mounting Tracy. Besides, any boot-flaking would be Trump's call, so why is TF asking about it? e_e
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35234
>>35231
I was guessing that the range was more limited, but I have no idea. Even if it did what would I be flanking? The charging bird? And then what? They are far away

>>35230
Mounts horsey
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35235
35243
>>35230
"what if i said you can earn your freedom?"
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35236
35243
>>35233
>why is TF asking about it?
Because he never uses them.. and I kind of want them...
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35237
35238
>>35228
Mr. Snek: *more tounge flicking*
>>35230
Hmmm, well I got nothing. Maybe if Lenos was back...
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35238
35239 35243
>>35237
*lightly steps on snek*
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35239
35240 35243
gun-sounds-snek-4228492.png
>>35238

Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35240
35241
>>35239
"good snek."
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35241
35242 35243
>>35240
A GAU-8 avenger sprouts from Mr. Snek's mouth.

Torc hears "BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT" from the library
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35242
35244
>>35241
"BAD snek."
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35243
35244 35245 35246
>>35235
"I'm not sure what you mean by "earn", but lets hear it."
>>35236
You're right, he doesn't.
>>35238
>>35239
>>35241
A gau 8? No. So many kinds of no.
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35244
35246
>>35243
It was a shit post
>>35242
You stepped on him
Anonymous
hij0+
?
No.35245
35247 35248
>>35243
So is it bird's move with Trump mounted on Tracy?
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35246
35298
>>35244
i laid my foot on him basically.
>>35243
"me imagine sitting in your own juices isnt very fun, so if you agree to help us track down your "friends" me vow me will let you go after we find them."
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35247
35249
>>35245
Tracy is readying to strike with her chain.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35248
35250 35259
>>35245
Yes. The charging one gets into range, giving Tracy and Trump an attack of opportunity, though its going for a spring attack. 3 of the group (2 from behind and 1 from the middle) also charge. The rest close distance (5') and maintain readiness.
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.35249
35252
>>35247
In the last round rather than coming to be mounted?
jStTv
?
No.35250
[4d20 = 44]
>>35248
Sword slash! I don't know if I have one or four, but just take the first dice roll if the former
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35251
35253
GM, where is Lenos?
NBd4A
?
No.35252
35254 35259
[3d20 = 20]
>>35249
Can she do both? She was only drawing her weapon.

Tracy lashes at the charging bird with her chain, snarling angrily.
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35253
35255
>>35251
fucking the female black dragon.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35254
>>35252
what a shitty roll..
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35255
35256 35257
>>35253
Still?
They must've hit-off pretty well then.
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35256
35258
>>35255
>inb4 Lenos dies of exhaustion
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35257
35258
>>35255
either that or he got killed and his hide stole again.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35258
>>35257
That would suck, but that's unlikely.
>>35256
This sounds more plausible.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35259
35260 35261
>>35252
Closing on Trump required a full movement (quick actions only). Trump would then have mounted, which even if he did it quickly, Tracy's move was expended. Meaning, it wuz the birds' turn, seen here: >>35248
Trump and Tracy have a single opporunity of attack, before it's Tracy's (full) turn, followed by Trump's.

Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.35260
>>35259
Use my 14 from the first roll for the attack of opportunity
NBd4A
?
No.35261
35262 35263
[1d20 = 20]
>>35259
*Stabs with cane-sword* (poisoned)
Js2CQ
?
No.35262
[1d8+9 = 94]
>>35261

Js2CQ
?
No.35263
[1d8+9 = 11]
That didn't work.
>>35261
Dice x2 is damage
jStTv
?
No.35264
35265
[1d20 = 20]
Rolling again if it means anything
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35265
35268
>>35264
It does, that was your attack of opportunity. The second bird skids to the ground dead, this time to the right of Trump and Tracy. Its Tracy's move, followed by Trump's, while the birds (still 35' away) maintain a trapezoid formation.
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35266
35267 35269
I might have to leave within the next hour...
Anonymous
jStTv
?
No.35267
35268
>>35266
Charge into the center of the formation!
NBd4A
?
No.35268
35272
[3d20 = 45]
>>35265
They're in range to attack with the chain, right?
>>35267
Spirited Charge, lashing-out with the chain at the center bird and billowing smoke ahead in a cone.
Js2CQ
?
No.35269
35271
[4d20 = 39]
>>35266
Well, at this point its not much of a fight. The enemies are clearly out-classed, even given numbers. With Trump on Tracy its just a matter of picking them off, and unless there is a 1 in the next couple rolls, there's no chance of them doing anything particularly damaging to Tr/Tr.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35270
Oh that's not good
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35271
35272 35273
>>35269
>unless there is a 1

Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35272
35274
>>35268
That however is. The first two attacks land
>billowing smoke ahead
Not quite how it works.
Tracy, with chain lashes guresomely once and effectively the second time. The bird is alive, but just barely. Its Trump's turn
>>35271
Just wait
Anonymous
XDyPe
?
No.35273
>>35271
RIP
jStTv
?
No.35274
35275
[4d20 = 33]
>>35272
Hoping to cleave with full round of slashing
Js2CQ
?
No.35275
[1d20 = 18]
>>35274
Yes cleave. The first attack fells the 3rd, and cleave takes precedence against the next (there's 3 charging) which lands (the 13). The 9h hits as well, followed by a miss with the 2, followed by another attack which doesn't have dice so
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35276
35278 35279
The 4th bird falls dead <boooof>
BIrd's turn. The charging bird does a spring attack. Trump has an attack of opportunity against it.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35277
35280
^Trump and Tracy
Mrs. Sentry
NBd4A
?
No.35278
>>35276
Is Tracy still charging?
jStTv
?
No.35279
[1d20 = 18]
>>35276
Slash!
NBd4A
?
No.35280
[1d20 = 19]
>>35277
Stab cane (still poisoned)
Js2CQ
?
No.35281
[2d20 = 13]
The 5th bird takes 2 dicey wounds. Not enough to kill it, but its pretty fucked up. Both 5 and 6 spring attack.
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35282
35283
One misses entirely, the other glances a strike against Trump's armor but fails to land. The rear birds squawk at eachother, and start backing away.
Tracy's move. There's 2 birds immediately (within 5') in range, while the other 2 are now backing off.
NBd4A
?
No.35283
35285
[2d20 = 14]
>>35282
>start backing away
Tracy's not stopping unless Trumpaladin stops her deliberately, now that she's like this.
She charges the nearest bird feverishly with two flaming hooves.
jStTv
?
No.35284
35285
[4d20 = 43]
Trumpaladin makes a full round attack of slashes against what is in range
Anonymous
Js2CQ
?
No.35285
>>35283
>>35284
Okay, we can agree that 5 and 6 are done. 7 and 8 ain't havin' it, and are in full flight.
y/S/t
?
No.35286
35287
Torc decides to get some food
Rolls to start eating haggis I'm feeling left out on the rolling, okay?
"Hi susan, I'm back. Want anything to eat?"
Mr. Snek drapes himself around Torc's shoulders
Anonymous
y/S/t
?
No.35287
35292
>>35286
I fucking mistyped dice RIP me.
Oh, GM can I get the full map again? I promise I'll save it this time