Welcoming new players, and raping welcoming back the old ones, itt continuing the RP Game threads. It's largely classic D&D 3.5e, but only as a baseline of rules and details and such. With every session something gets tweaked, added, pissed on, or thrown out the fucking window. We're right now introducing a new character, so anyone interested is welcome to follow along.
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686 replies and 102 files omitted.
>>16892I may autistic, but at least I'm not completely fucking stupid.
I don't want to have my character die.
GM, idk if you saw or if I just fucking missed it. But does Mr. Snek get stats? >>16912why dont you join in on the drama anon?
>>16916It's a strong snek: Good to compensate for a wimpy wizard.
>>16911>she could have just broken the shackles by transformingWhy would you think that would break them? Do you think that anyone who would go through the effort of making shackles that prevent dimension shifting wouldn't also make them strong? And whatever they are made of, I assure you it is harder then flesh. It would have just cut and sliced into the legs if the legs grew too big for them, like really chain dog collars do to the necks of dogs that outgrow them
>how stupid it was to come up behind a mareYou have to get behind a mare to sex her, and if that's not what Tracy wanted then why wouldn't she leave him alone
>she was restrainedJust one round before she tried to pick the lock, and also kicked him. She was intent on doing harm and on getting free from the restraints
>breaking out the sword was retardedMore retarded than attacking a fully armed and armored level 15 paladin? But the real thing is he wanted to be left alone. So whykeep coming back again and back again when he said to fuck off, and shackled her. If shackles aren't enough, then a sword will have to do
>horsing aroundRape is not horsing around. He wanted to be left alone
>>16917>>16916Thank you sir
GM, does snek get int bonus for being a familier or should I fukk off at this point?
>>16919>>16917Oh, you two will regret that
Torc buys a third bottle of charm potion >>16922its ok i just wont drink anything you gib.
>>16922Pretty sure
you are going to be the one who regrets that third bottle
>>16922GM could still tell you to fuck off, but here's a page on familiars:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Familiars>potionsYou really will will regret doing anything stupid with Tracy's brain. >>16923>implying I'll spike your drinkRun
>>16924Eh, who cares
>>16925Oh, but I won't. cause Tracy will enjoy this
>>16927
Delet this hes not supposed to know.
>>16927I'm not going for trollestia
But Torc does need her help
>>16928To late
>>16926thats the only way you will be able to fuck with me.
Wait, how many potions can we buy? I had to brew my last three over the course of three weeks (the bombs didn't even get made).
>>16930Thats what you think
>patiently waits for GM so everyone can hate me>>16932Idk, I just hope I can buy three
>>16933so how are you dealing with that disease i gave you?
>>16933I feel like I have some idea what you intend to use the first two to do (that will just make things much worse, by the way), but the last bottle?I will smite you for your evil if that fucks me over somehow
>>16934Hey Inferius, want to grapple something?
>>16934???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>>16935>evil cackelingYou know nothing peasent
>>16937Actually, give me a minute
>>16941Yes but what did you give Torc?
>>16942"Want to bully a nerd and take his trading cards?"
>>16944Torc does not have trading cards
>hides rare pepes >>16941That's a homebrew spell, m8.
>>16944"Ugh, sure maybe."
Claiming The Nerd's Trading Cards. >>16946I never got a saving roll, truth be told I didn't even know you did this
How do I saving roll?
>>16947"Why so grouchy little pony? By the way, how are your legs?"
>>16947oh i garbed the wrong contagion spell.
>>16948hang on let me find the correct spell.
>>16946That shit looks deadly contagious, m8. Do you really want to ruin your week having to cure every resident of Port Barry?
>Good Cleric using ebil spells[angry Blackguard noises]
No! That's
my thing!
>>16948GM said you didn't get contagion-ed.
>>16952Well praise Kek for that shit
>>16954*ponders if there are ways to make a pony less hormonal*
"That's good to hear. Nevermind by the way."
>>16953"Carry on with your sketchy voodoo shit"
>>16955Hey! """Good""" Cleric, don't nerf our Wizard the day before the boss fight.
8 roll + fortitude of 5 = 13
Do I live
>>16959It wouldn't kill you instantly anyway, although Infernius had better do some serious praying to keep Hitler from confiscating his super powers.
>>16960"Could you please grapple shackle Tracy for me?"
>>16963"Oi, I hate the english too ye bloody cunt"
>>16964lol no
"I gotta go take my vitamins!"
*disappears and fucks off*
>>16967"Would you like Mr. Snek to protect you? He beat Infernius once already"
Reeeeeeree!!!! You were too slow Inferius!
>>16968"Damn it Tourcil this is in your best interests too"
>>16968>implying you'd last one more minute without himThat snake isn't just your protector now; he's your lifeline. Good luck separating yourself from it unmolested.
>>16969i cant help if my faggot is afk
>>16970No it isn't.
Can't fuck you and inferius over with out her either.
Actually, screw needing Trollestia
>Torc runs after Tracy.WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA
>>16971What did he mean by this?
>>16973I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU FAGGOT!!!
Also you said you were ticking over Tracy too
[1d20 = 2]>>16973chases and tackle grapples.
>>16976Hahahaha BULLSHIT
Infetius! Grapple-Shackle this Anglo bastard! He's up to no good!
>>16974It means that as soon as Torc has to send his snake out to do a task or be a plot device, we'll all realize that he's suddenly become much easier to grapple.
>>16973>implying you even know where she went*pony ears twitch from undisclosed location*
>>16977Pretty sure that roll succeeds
>>16980This
Inferius! I'll grapple the nerd while you take his pet.
>>16983He shackled you first bitch!
>>16987*loots charm potions from shackled nerd*
[1d20 = 3]>>16988>subsonic ree-ing"MR. SNEK, HELP"
Roll for Mr. Snek oo grapple Trump
[1d20 = 11]>>16989MOTHER FUCKER!
*tries to escape and RUNS*
[3d20 = 46]>>16984>putting the shackles on the wimpy wizard who's biggest annoyance is banter>>16990May as well test out this new sword
*reappears behind you while you're distracted*
Sneak-attack! Keen-edged canesword in the pooper (use poison)
>tfw quickened, so can thrust three timesIt's in cane form, so you won't die instantly, but imagine how much damage you
would've taken.
*cackles like a madmare*
*vanishes*
[1d20 = 6]>>16993Oh no you don't! That second vanishing will cost you a second round!
Grapple
>>16993you cant teleport tracy dimensional anchor is in effect.
>>16993He was going to use his potions to do... Well I don't know what, but bad for us. We had to shackle him before he escaped
>>16996Is that an area of effect spell? Also, shackle HER
>>17002Yes, but you had at least one potion taken from you while you were restrained
[2d20 = 15]>>16994>tfw just as strong as youRoll to escape grapple
Second roll to turn tables.
>>16996You put those on the wizard. Anyway, she just came out of stealth, and your fat ass would've obsciurred her sight from anyone else, so she could just go back into stealth (this is probably all a load of horseshit).
>>17001it is an aoe, shackles tracy.
>>17004You want to grapple me? While Inferius is still here? Okay
>>17004>is still grappledFug! Have your round..
>>17003Don't you need a skill for that?
>>17005>>17006REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"I should've killed you when I had the chance!"
>>17006Excellent
>>17008TRACY CAGE
I hereby cast MARK OF JUSTICE on thee
The next time you are a total dick, and try to fuck us over or intentionally piss us off, you will have to cast a saving throw and succeed with your pitiful +4 will saving throw if you want to move at all. Every single round. EVERY ROUND
>>17008why you stab people tracy what make you so crazy? tell me about your mother.
>Doctor infernuis therapy session >>17008>don't you need a skill for that?To do it stealthily or against someone who isn't restrained, yes. To do it against a restrained person? I can't see why I would
>>17010WUT!?
me let you go and this is how you repay me?
>>17013Don't let her go Inferius! Cast Mark of Justice or Geas on Tracy while you can!
>>17013"Uhhhhhhh..."
"Tracy, SING STOP IN THE NAME LOVE"
>>17015"You faggot, we're trying to help!"