Can the party avoid tearing each-other's throat out? Can they successfully complete the dungeon and rid Port Barry of the giant glass octahedron that sits motionless a short way off the docks? Will GM have an aneurysm from it all?
Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where new faggots (players) are always welcome and previous faggots interact based increasingly loosely on D&D 3.5e core rules.
This thread begins with Thez completing a marvelous and unplanned concert now that she can cast "Dancing lights!" again, and a large crowd has formed around the square, where both Infernius and Trump appear to be intending to address the crowd, Thez having vacated the impromptu stage with several bouquets of flowers and adoring cheers from the crowd.
She has obscene skill pertaining to "Perform"
1630 replies and 186 files omitted.
>>52251Night dude, see ya. We didn't get much done, but I think it'll be better even still
>>52252*smooches*
*gazes dreamily with bedroom eyes, batting eyelashes*
*boops nose-to-nose*
"~Teeheehee!"
*passionate giggling*
>>52254*humps more and
offers more liquid, in hopes of placating the beast, all while staring into its eyes*
>>52257"~Nothing." she giggles out, her eyes gleaming
*nuzzles*
>>52259*Just lays there beaming, though still pumping slowly*
*smiles affectionately, just happy to have him around*
[happy pony noises]
>implying you can escape >>52260*He rubs his hands down each side of her, from her mane down her flanks, even though it only accentuates the sexuality of the creature*
*he is now in pain, but still must fuck the creature*
>>52261*continues pounding with her relentless, gentle, rhythmic bounces still staring with those faintly-glowing green eyes*
"I want all of your love, Flashy."
>>52262"But Pony, I am not sure I have much more to give"
>>52263*humping intensifies*
*fiery green eyes stare into soul*
"
All of you, Flashy..."
*snort in petite excitement*
"I'll give my everything to you, Flashy; please give your love me."
[1d20 = 15]>>52264That's it. Smite this succubus bitch. With both penis and hands on her supple teats. Dice cause dice are fun
>>52266>1*ejaculates when not intending
>>52271Could be improved
"~Aaaaaaaaah..." she sighs contently
*gets up*
*drags paladin back to the tower*
[4d20 = 50]
>Talks to an associate later
>"Where have you been"
>"I failed a handle animal check and was ravaged by a demonic horse for like two hours"
>"Uh... did you mean to day 'ravaged'?"
>*Cries to self* "Yes..."
Tracy has been very, very vocal about her sexual endeavors with Brad, around town, as to ward-off other females that might try to approach him by letting them all know he belongs to her.
>>52276"We're not done!"
*grabs paladin and tosses him onto a Clydesdale-sized bed* (much more comfortable than the back-alley pavement)
*continues relentless, lewd, possessive snuggling*
>>52277*casts necessary cure spells on self*
"At least the surface is soft... Looks like I'm going for a ride..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUBuVdkskA >>52278"We're going to be here
all night long."
*showers him in kisses*
*snuffs out torches, so only her flames illuminate the room*
>>52280*moans, still snuggling him to pieces with her powerful horse chest*
*lays beside paladin*
"Is there something wrong, Flashy? I know we didn't get to go zombie-hunting today, but we will next time.:
*nuzzles chest affectionately*
>>52281"I guess not"
*starts removing armor, so he can feel the full fluff of the horse against him as he lay there*
>>52282nuzzles all over his body, as if checking him for wounds, before happily laying against him, her massive flank rising and falling with her deep, powerful breaths*
>>52283*still holds an erection after hours and at least a half dozen ejaculations. Because horse is just that damned sexy*
>>52284>not sticking it in and riding it all out in his sleep*engulfs erection with tight, hot, quivering marepussy*
[sleepy horse noises]
>>52285*pets horsey*
*falls asleep in horsey, occasionally humping, but always holding her in his arms*
>>52286*curls up around paladin*
*drifts off to sleep*
>>52288>sleepily pokes head out"Hmmmm,... need covfefe,"
Waking up with restored vigor, Trumpaladin sees that the beast horse has been reduced to a little blue pony.
*Turns over on top of pony, and sexes pony*
>>52296I forget what covfefe soes but ill drink it anyway.
>>52296Thez <whooooof> appears full-size
I guess she shrinks when in pocket? I'm not sure how that works, but its much more adorable to "goes to room" or whatever and it doesn't affect gameplay in any significant manner so I'm going with it and takes one of the cups, allowing Bones to fill.
>>52297I haven't. ^_^
>>52298Trumpaladin should probably quit drinking covfefe
*finishes pony* [1d100 = 44]
Thez makes a "Tch" sound and says, "Curses, no cream or sugar. One moment." <whooooof> ... <whoooof> she reappears with two small, slender pitchers. She hands them to Bones before taking a long sip, after which she immediately starts giggling.
>>52302Infernius' question sets her into a more intense fit of giggles. "I... have no idea," she squeezes out, sipping occasionally from her covfefe.
>>52304This, also Infernius would feel an almost immediate and intense feeling of joy and giggling.
>>52299One last cup wouldn't hurt.
>>52307*Infernuis breaks into a laughing fit*
>>52308And then he begins sobbing becuase his faggot is whatching hellstorm.
>>52239What would the XP cost for such a spell be?
>>52311Jesus Christ you're back on this again
>>52312I haven't given up.
I'm prepared to make the necessary sacrifices for the power I desire.
Pic entirely unrelated, just funny.
>>52313Yeah, I'm just over a 1/2 hour in
>>52314>GM pulls the first leaflet from a large folder headed "No"You can start by explaining why Tracy would arbitrarily want to have her form permanently altered into a form that - at best - she's only read about.
>>52315>why Tracy would arbitrarily want to have her form permanently alteredShoot..
*faggot steps back into the shadows*
>>52315GM, how much would you hate me if I gave Torc some levels in bard?
>bagpipes play in background >>52315Does the information i learned here transfer to Infernuis?
>>52318Makes more sense than Theurge, desu.
>>52318Alright, I need a quick rundown. I know what Tracy is thinking, what is Torcuil thinking? Are you hoping to trade levels?
>>52321TBH, Theurge was an excuse for his memes to work for clerical spells.
>>52322This is what I'm thinking. Maybe not the statistics and the exact details, but if Infernius wants to put a couple
thousand germans into his "past life bracket" from which he might have residual memory and disposition, I'm okay with it.
Spoiler alert, the next adversary the party faced was going to be "blacks",... basically Wights except augmented to be a legit threat
Also, I'll admit that its been several years since I saw such a documentary - might even have been this one or parts of - on account of the purveysive feeling of despair that it invokes. I knew all about Dresden, the behavior of the Soviets toward civilians, but every time I watch these docus I am impressed with the vast and nigh-infinite level of scope and detail that is behind the truth and the obfuscation of it. That Germany and the Nazis 'enjoy' the infamy and contempt that is rightfully visited on the allies and most especially the soviets - and that this disinformation continues day by day, with every virtue signalled re-affirmation of "muh death camps" and "6 gorrilion" - is enervating to the core.
>>52330>>52328Switch Infernuis alignment to chaotic evil, because thats what is coming for the court city.
>>52328I didnt know how bad the bombings were, im not ashamed to admit i was in tears. This was my first time watching hellstorm.
>>52321GM gave me those levels, I didn't choose them. I will gladly trade theurge for bard though.
>>52324Uh, I don't care. I'd trade the levels he has, and rework the skills.
Actually, yeah I'll do that. Can I trade levels?
>>52335No lie, I was about to ask if you had a link.
Thanks anon.
>>52331Why would what Infernius be thinking be "evil"?
>>52333>tradeNo
"Hm ferlimor sterk isiib," Thez says, the covfefe taking full effect.
>>52334Stay away from our shekel farmer
>>52339Can I splurge three levels on Wishes?
>>52342Just wondering.
With a deep sigh, Trumpaladin asks Tracy for a favor
>>52346"I sense a disturbance... A few doors down. How good are you at forgery?"
>>52339Torc looks at his faggot, then at Thez, then back at his faggot.
Then his faggot shrugs turns to GM and says
[i]"Says the guy who traded some of Thez's levels"
>>52347I can't remember how many ranks atm."Well, caligraphy is more of a unicorn trade, but I can
try.. What do you need?"
>>52348I was wondering if someone else could cast using her XP, but I'll take that as a no...
>>52349She didn't trade, she just lost them.
*flexes energy-draining claws*
Level-loss is an option though.
>>52349First, that hasn't taken place yet. That will occur at the end of the Temple bit. For two, she's not trading anything, she's willingly relinquishing, even though it comes at the loss of no less than four significant and essential feats (probably more, but I'm still working it over,... lazily).
>>52350That makes the second time you've asked that. IIRC the first was 2 months ago.
>>52350"Suppose you wanted to make a person, or several people, entirely diassapear from the authorities. Give them new indentities, allow them to live on under a different name. Do you think you could do it?"
>>52353Kike enabler i will track them down
>>52353"I'm good at making persons look like they never existed, but not so experienced with making new identities... It'd matter the circumstances."
>>52353And stop fucking meta gaming
>switches alignment to evil
>in the same building as a paladin with detect evil
Not hard to put two and two together
>>52353>the authorities"What authorities?"
>>52358Brad has little reason to use it though.
There's also the Undetectable Alignment spell.
>>52358Bullshit,you wouldn't exactly know.
>>52361This.
He'd have little reason to suspect anything in the first place.
>>52361Thez places her hand on Infernius' arm. "Cels bisterr figledest," she says. In spite of the gibberish, Infernius can empathically sense that she sympathizes with him.
>>52358*Mr. Bones offers hot cup of covefefe*
Tracy gets up from her seat on her bed and begins pacing incessantly.
>>52366reeeeeeee roll the 1d100![1d100 = 62]>>52366Infernius may suffer a different effect.
The next answer Infernius gives must be a lie
>is wearing Burnt Juice to work today cuz -12 fucks
"Thez me hate you and love jews, me am thinking about converting to jewism."
>>52372Answer; no one asked a question.
>inb4 metafagging a way out of it [1d20+29 = 47]
>is bored
Rolling to practice acrobatics in the town square
>+17 Tumble + 5 Perform (Dance) + 4 Dex +3 Char
>>52376don't think I don't know what you're doing
>>52378Seriously, what are you talking about?
>>52378It's exactly what it looks like. She's practicing her skills to impress a crowd.
>>52361>>52359>>52362>implying you wouldn't also use the power as a security feature in the morning in case there are robbers, or more damned Drow invading trying to steal our stuffAnd Tracy had every motivation to walk up to Trollestia that morning and sniff her cunt.
And her sense of smell is so like a tracking dog that she can identify a person by the smell.
And she had enough of a point of reference to know it wasn't Torcuil's or Darkie's or Infernius's or some random stallion or one of her Druid friends or some random guy in the port.
Fuck off
>>52389What are you multiclassing in?
>>52355>>52359I'm going to continue the conversation anyways because it seemed really fun for the paladin to find he needed a robber. Yeah yeah "meta gaming" and apparently Tracy went off to do things after I went away to class. But I'd rather have my "what could have been" posted than let it die in my mind"Well... I figured this day would come eventually... What I would want you to do is to break into several buildings - the Ghestapo's Police Station, the records portion of the Town Hall, the General's monastery, and probably a certain religious institution - gather up every set of documents pertaining to a group of individuals possible, and then destroy them"
>>52390In this case I'll wait until the issue is "ripe."
\r
>>52392>wait until the issue is "ripe."No. Wtf?
What's so suspicious about dancing?
Performing in public build reputation and can attract helpful NPCs. Tracy is building fame by showing off her Dexterity.
>quote*confused expression*
"Umm.. okay, I think.. What documents were you referring to..?"
>>52393"A birth registry, like that kept by a church, would be pretty much the gold standard. But really, any sort of identifying documents, like deeds or marriage certificates or registrations of licenses, and so forth. Any document that proves the person was ever there"
I can't believe I'm actually saying this...
What do I loose (besides spells) from giving up my 2 levels in Theurge? Skill points, feats, etc.
I know Torc will loose 10 skill points, but will he loose a feat?
And last question for now. Can you put points in class skills at lvl 0?
>>52400It's really more of hypothetical shitposting anyways
How often do you get feats?
>>52405Every three levels, some classes gib moar.
>>52407
Eh, I'll take it.
I'm really regretting Great Wisdom though...
>>52407>Mestizos or Arabs or Indians*perplexed pastel periwinkle pony expression*
*tilts head in confusion*
"what are those?"
>churchThere's no way he's registered in the church. Ben attends a synagogue.
>>52408>Great WisadomThat's an Ebin feat: you couldn't have taken it in the first place.
[15d4 = 40]>>52409YES I CAN GIVE IT UP
I didn't know that though.
>>52409"Just any human that doesn't look to have peach colored or yellow colored skin. Or who is wearing a small circular hat"
"church" is a generic term to mean a place of organized worship. He means a synagogue >>52411Also, tell me what was wrong with that performing check, because it's driving me crazy.
>>52413"Protecting isn't my specialty, but I can make things disappear."
>>52414"On second thought, never mind"
*pets petite pastel periwinkle pony politely*
Alright, both Torc and Snek feel a little less powerful Fuck that HP loss, and Torc can no longer speak 2 languages.
But now Torc really wants to learn the bagpipes.
>>52416Why give up levels if you want to multiclass? It's not going to make it that much easier
>>52417I was going to give up some levels too. Figured I'd get where I wanted faster.
Wish there were a way to purge 45,000 XP efficiently though.
>>52415Trumpadalin tenderly touches Tracy
>>52417Cause I never understood/asked for Theurge, and wanna keep it at two classes.
>>52420I misinterpreted my stats when I took BG, and I don't really want to have a class if I can't fulfill the archetypal role associated: I've made very little progress developing Tracy as a BG, and I'm at my wits end if I can't play the proper villain I had in mind.
>>52421What would you do with Tracy otherwise?
>>52425It's not really an issue of optimization, it's just that I don't want to be a blackguard if it's going to be difficult to be a brutal, cult-leading soccer champion. I'd rather give up divine magick powers altogether and slowly re-train for edgy blade-handling skills, if the alternative is to half-ass the role.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlxfDvSyPKA >>52431*Snek hugs Torc too hard*
>>52433Torc begins to turn a shade of blue
"I... can't... breathe..."
Snkk thnn loosens the hug
Are Outsiders subject to Death by Massive Damage?
>>52437The fact that the entry for the undead type mentions that undead cannot be killed by massive damage, while the entry for outsiders lacks that, tells me that they are not immune to massive damage
>>52438Well, that was partly what I was going for, didn't consider the leadership benefit. Performing is surprisingly useful in a prosperous city.
>>52439What about the regenerating ones?
Just wondering if it's possible to 1-hit K.O. a powerful fiend with a good shot.
>>52440>>52437Most fiends have pretty high fortitude saves anyway.
>>52444*Drags paladin off for a nap*
*Sleeps*
[1d20-1 = -7]
Profession check to sell own milk.
>>52447You can as much as 6 times that in a day with a single street performance though.
Not that money is an issue anyway.
>>52450"Here take 30 gold and gibe chocolate milk."
>>52451"Thank you for your service, fine Sir."
*tips hat and waves*
I love this game/community.
>>52452"Good day, Madame sentry."
>>52454"Have a nice day at the Cathedral, Lord Preston."
*polite bow*
>>52457>>52453I feel a close bond with everyone involved.
>>52460That pic was made long before Glimmer, also when Derpy was closer to the heart of the fandom...