Can the party avoid tearing each-other's throat out? Can they successfully complete the dungeon and rid Port Barry of the giant glass octahedron that sits motionless a short way off the docks? Will GM have an aneurysm from it all?
Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where new faggots (players) are always welcome and previous faggots interact based increasingly loosely on D&D 3.5e core rules.
This thread begins with Thez completing a marvelous and unplanned concert now that she can cast "Dancing lights!" again, and a large crowd has formed around the square, where both Infernius and Trump appear to be intending to address the crowd, Thez having vacated the impromptu stage with several bouquets of flowers and adoring cheers from the crowd.
She has obscene skill pertaining to "Perform"
1630 replies and 174 files omitted.
[100d20 = 1096]>>52048What where you saying?
>>52046So about the 20.
>>52045Probably.
>>52051Yea but 20 though.
>>52052You assume Infernius wouldn't have blown himself up or radded himself into a turnip in
>>52027Is he attempting to invent these complex devices over the course of the same few minutes? How long does it
take to fail at an invention like nuclear power? How much conviction and time does it take to even
begin such a venture?
>>52052He did tell you to stop rolling...
If you want me to take random dice rolls seriously, you also have to assume that I will take negative results as well. The DC to create Nuclear Power from the position Infernius is in would be at least 25. That puts that 4 at -21. That's literally more than a fail.
>>52053Hes attempting to come up with the concept.
>>52053>>52055And everytime i get a good roll its discarded.
>>52057Okay. Fine. Infernius has a sudden realization that there might be magic rocks that you can draw energy from.
>>52056>>52057Wait, are you serious about this? I thought you were just shit posting
>>52058Stahp. Don't feed the troll
[1d20+21 = 40]
*wakes up from nap*
Tracy emerges from her fluff-pile and leaves the room with a somber expression on her face, and leaves the room slowly.
Rolling to Move Silently through tower
Oh wait, it was the car, my bad. "What if wagons drove themselves, without horses n shit?" Occurs to him. He realizes that there might be a way to attach something to the wagon that would give it enough power to propel its self. Meanwhile, in the floating crystal tower,....
You want a car, talk to the gnomes.
>>52060Im not trolling you kike, evertime i roll good it has thrown out, and you get everything handed to you. And then you complain about miniscule things that people do.
>>52062Thank you thats all i wanted, i like inventing things.
Trumpaladin makes a cup of Chamomile tea, for Slovenia, a cup of Chai Tea, for Darkie, and - does Felicia like anything? - maybe something for her as well. And a cup of coffee for himself. Can't carry all that at once though...
Tracy stealthily slips through the tower, her expression worsening into a grimace with every step she takes.
She's now carrying a smelly sack of filthy fabric, no bigger than a soccer-ball, and has a few Fluffy towels draped over her shoulder.
>>52063Alright, but just so you know, gnomes probably already have that shit. It will probably explode at some point though.
>>52064>doots politely behind Trump
>>52066"Uh... I think I'll deliver these myself. A bit more personal that way"
*delivers beverages to respective parties*
>>52066Well thats depressing.
>>52066Ah, yes. The gnomes.
Does Torc learn anything about the wand?
>>52069Its a wand of Cure Moderate Wounds. How about that. Torcuil makes a note to stockpile candy in advance of Filly's next visit.
It looks like a cool stick tho.
Tracy silently trots into the Entertron, sadly humming the /mlp/ 4CC anthem as she arrives. After just standing there for a moment, she drops the bag on the ground, and out rolls a severed head too scarred to be identifiable.
>>52070You can bet your ass Torc is gonaa stockpile candy.
In the meantime, a subject I've asked a couple times but I don't believe I've recieved an answer on.
Could I make Snek a ranger, choose the ranged combat specialization and apply that to the guns?
>>52072Can you make me a necklace of ears?
>>52073Want to go to cardishore or whatever the gnome town is called?
>>52075Are you bored with the game?
>>52076No,but the game isnt just kill shit in a dungeon.
>>52077Can we do that first though?
>>52073Oh, yes of course. That makes even more sense than rogue when I think about it.
>GM gets mental image of Snek Tarzan swinging through the trees with the gun in his mouth, using a tooth to pull the trigger. With each swing, he fires off a shot,....
>>52078I suppose,the automobile is already invented anyway.
>Googling "Snake Ranger" gave... strange results
I'll still monitor the thread, but I have some stuff to do. I'll be streaming the rest of Samurai Jack (last 4 eps) in the background and then probably the MLP movie if anyone wants to join.
https://www.rabb.it/ninjas
>>52080Kek
>>52079Yay
>>52075Considering this dungeon crawling is going nowhere fast? Sure
>>52082Thats real fucking disgusting.
>>52083Can you post when the movie starts?
I would watch Samurai Jack, but I want to start from the beginning
>>52086Probably about an hour from now
Tracy kicks the head like a soccerball, and watches it ricochet around the room, before throwing it back in her bag.
We going to play tonight, or are you all watching the superbowl?
Gonna start the movie when u get in Torcuil (and anyone else who monitors these threads and is bored/causally unoccupied)
>>52091I don't watch it either.
I would watch if the Denver Broncos were in the superbowl
>>52089Why would i watch the negro football league?
>>52099Srsly. Corporate propoganda and social engineering, false tribalism, etc., lefty messages in the commercials and lots of obscenely well-paid guys who should be leading in the military forces imo
>>52099Just being considerate
>>52101Ikr.
It's a machine of false football.
>>52101If Donald Trump's Anti-Trust lawsuit against the MSN on behalf of the American Football League has succeeded, we'd have much better football
>>52098Stopped working for me, for some reason..
>>52105Its still there, idk
How ling would it take to make/charge a Wand of True Strike?
>>52093Same
You guys still watching the movie?
Tracy, in Nightmare form, has a carry 612 pounds as a light load. Can she still use Tumble while Brad is riding her, or is he still too heavy to Tumble efficiently while carrying?
>>52111Depends on his riding skill
>>52112He has 10 ranks, and the magick shoes give him an additional 10 while he's riding her.
>>52113Then yeah, I'd allow it with a simple riding check
Tracy grinds in the Entertron
"What if we make carriages that dont need horses to go?"
>>52118Oh, I get it
>stick head in entertron>body regenerates>kill new person>regenerates again>kill again>repeat>>52117"You mean cars? We had tons of those in Scotland."
>>52119GM explicitly said we couldn't get moar XP for killing someone twice.
>>52120That's right, holodeck gives feats.
>>52122He did, didn't he
>>52121"Yeah, large metal carriages that moved by an engine."
>>52123"Yes me have same idea out of nowhere! Weird."
>>52117"Back at home, we just make dropouts do it."
>>52124>>52123"Torc,we make one?"
Make the Ghost Chariot first.
>>52125"Yeah they do same thing in germaneigh."
>>52124>>52126"Sure, we had a
lot of cool stuff where I'm from. I mainly knew how the stuff worked in general, but I was fucked when it came to specifics"
>>52128"There are just some colts in the neighborhood who never make anything of themselves..." Tracy says, letting out a sigh.
>>52111Horse acrobat is best acrobat.
>>52117"Now why would you ever want to get rid of the horse?"
>>52119"How'd that Nicola Sturgeon work out for ya?"
>>52124"Uh huh"
>>52132>riderless blackReeeee
>>52129"What,if we make electronic devices were we role play?"
>>52134That a painting of a horse at the training farm. They make them jump without riders while training, to prove they're intelligent enough to do it on their own.
>>52137Thats cool as fuck.
>>52138Lipizzaners are horse masterrace.
>tfw you can use Tumble instead of perform
>>52138"See? Now can your horse-less carriage do that? I didn't think so"
>>52140I already maxed-out Tumble: make a Handle Animal check to train Tracy for the general purpose of Performance, so that they can draw crowds together.
>>52139Its like the horses in oblivion but in real life.
>>52140"We add system of hydrologic lifting."
>>52141>Tracy is trained as a performing animalI'm sorry, what?
>>52142Ikr
>>52144Do it, faggot!
[1d20+10 = 30]>>52145Uh... okay...
Trumpaladin, not really nowing what he's doing, uses a handle animal check to make Tracy perform
Modifier is 1 rank in handle animal (it's a trained skill) +3 from circlet of persuasion for charisma based skill, +5 charisma bonus,
and +1 luck from the stone
>>52146>tfwWe horse-acrobat nao
[1d20+20 = 25]>>52147Whelp, I can't argue with that dice roll
Trumpaladin mounts the beautiful blue lipizzaner and tries to perform tricks with her
[1d20+21 = 38]>>52148Tracy does her best to put on a show
Tumbling to put on a performance
>>52149>a 38That'll work
"Yippee Kiyay!"
>>52149Oh yeah! Extraordinary performance, baby!
Who needs Charisma, when you've got Dex?
[acrobatic hoers noises]
Port Barry is a fairly prosperous city, right?
>>52152It's more prosperous now than a few months ago, but it started in a not-so-great position
>>52153It should be prosperous enough to earn the characters a reputation with more performances though.
>20: Great performance. In a prosperous city, you can earn 3d10 sp/day. In time, you may be invited to join a professional troupe and may develop a regional reputation.>25: Memorable performance. In a prosperous city, you can earn 1d6 gp/day. In time, you may come to the attention of noble patrons and develop a national reputation.>30: Extraordinary performance. In a prosperous city, you can earn 3d6 gp/day. In time, you may draw attention from distant potential patrons, or even from extraplanar beings.Good for leadership, plot development, and anything else that deals with reputation.
>>52154That's over time though.
With routine performances, you can earn quite the reputation.
>>52138Horses in general are cool as fuck.
Like jousting, those horses are fucking huge
[1d20+10 = 14]Handle Animal check to get pretty blue prancing pony to have sex with Paladin
>>52156They are neat animals
>>52157>14Aww. He'll get her next time
>>52158>Implying she would've just performed for free[demanding blue-ribbon hoers noises]
*drags paladin into the shadows*
Spoiler because feralfaggotry
>>52159>Paladin Pays Prancing Pony per Performance, with penis>It feels more like a robbery though>Implying feral is faggotry
>>52160*collects hard-earned payment>Robbery is her professionJust checking the watersBigger version
"I wonder how Death is doing...."
Torc and Snek heas to the holodeck to do some training.
>>52161*Pumps Payment into Pony... In an almost coerced way*I love Etheross
>>52163Indeed.>>52164Oh yeah, Infernius never met her.
>>52163And so, the party's presidential paladin proficiently pumped payment into plump pony pussy post-preformance.>>52164"My GF,
I think."
>>52166Thats hawt
>>52165This so much
>>52166Horses are such beautiful creatures
ECMajor is another great
>>52169
Why you taunt me with this?
>>52170>[poof]*vigorously ride trains hoo-man*
WELL I DIDN'T SAY DELETE IT
But sometimes I feel like you can in fact have too much sexiness
>>52172*licks face*
*humping intensifies*
Are we still crawling tonight?
Alright. Later than anticipated, but I'm here. I'll keep the room open cuz PM's, but I'm pretty much ready to get started
>>52176I'd like to get Mr. Snek to a LVL 1 ranger soon, so I'm ready
>>52176Did you think of what I asked earlier?
>>52177*kisses while bucking*
>>52180*Kisses back slobbering horsey*
*Giddies up*
>>52178Alright, so Tracy is an acrobat nao. Other than that, Torcuil has a new stick, Trump wowed the crowd, Thez and Infernius talked to the Gestapo and learned that the knee-grows are reported to live on a continent way in the north-east.
It looks like Infernius isn't here though...
>>52183*continues riding horse*
>>52184*hasn't stopped bucking intensely*
Have an updated character sheet if you guys like taking notes.
So are we gonna do anything?
>>52185*slaps horse rump*
>>52186Dunno. So to summarize, the Wand machine tells you what to make the wand out of for the particular type of wand and makes it for you, and then gives bonuses to charging. It will also tell you how many charges remain.
>>52185*plot oscillates hypnotically*
>>52188That makes sense.
Torc walks out to find the rest of the party, sees Tracy and Trump, and runs back inside.
>>52189*Is entranced by the unoriginality of the images displayed on horse flank*
"Uh, Yuri Orlov was it?"
>>52191Kek
"Like you haven't seen us before!"
>>52188How did the town like Brad and Tracy's Performance?
>>52191That makes sense.
Thez and Infernius also learn that the knee-grows do not often venture outside their continent, as they are not well regarded outside their own culture.
>>52194What's Tracy's Dex and Perform?
>>52193"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'
>>52195She was using Tumble, in place of perform:
>You can also tumble to entertain an audience (as though using the Perform skill).Her Dex is 19, and she has 17 ranks in Tumble.
>>52197I see. You can also apply both skills to a comprehesive performance btw.
"My Impropmptu concerts get a combined +63, when I cast "Dancing Lights!" Thez exclaims enthusiastically.
>>52199"Reeeee! I only have a +35 on Diplomacy"
*Still humping horsey*
>>52199Would there be ever a case where Spellcraft and Arcane Knowledge would both be used for a check?
That +39 bonus would be amazing
>>52201Yes, spell creation
*Offers the last bit of juice he can possibly muster, and gives it to the ravenous horse*
"Okay, we can clear out the dungeon now"
[1d20+39 = 47]>>52202Oh, you mean like:
Torc tries to make a spell that makes a target use the weapon in their hand against themselvesIs that how it works?
>>52204The "stop stabbing yourself" spell?
>>52198I know she had at least 5 in Dance; but I don't have my character sheet to remember how many she put in Acting...
"Bet you never carried your husband on your back while
skywriting before though Xp!" Tracy boasts while still mercilessly hammering on Brad's pelvis
>>52200>Implying Diplomacy can amass/entertain crowdsYou can make a Ride check to use your Prancing Pastel Periwinkle Pony to draw crowds for you, to bring them in long enough to make a speech, before making the Diplomacy check to speak to people who arrive.
>>52204Quite. Meme with words.
>>52205Kek this
>inb4 the party opens a traveling circus act
>>52206Oh I'm not here to entertain
>use pony to attract crowds, then sway them to your evil purposesOkay, that's not a bad idea
>Is still trying to kill my character with horse pussyReeee
>>52208The Entertainment checks are used to build reputation and attract useful NPCs.
>>52208>evil purposesWait, what?
That's my thing!
Reeeeeeeeeee!
>>52208Evil? Did I miss something?
>mfw now understand what it means for an evil blackguard to use sex as a weapon>>52211Evil? What? I mean only the purest of good
*rubs hands*
>>52212Its still Trump Good desu
>>52213What else could he possibly be? Good is still Trump
>>52205More like the "start stabbing yourself"
>>52207Oh I'm gonna have fun with this.
>>52206>>52208Prancing pastel periwinkle pony is punishing the party's presidential paladin until he professionally pumps her pink pony pussy full of payment for pony's performanceI'm having way to much fun with this alliteration
>>52214Trump can only good. We cannot always know why what Trump does is good, but this is why Trump is a perfect prophet of Elway. The Way of Elway is written in his very name, and yet it is not the Way of El, it is the Way of Football. And Football is Trump, and Trump is American.
>>52202What kinds of spells can you create?
>>52217Kek, this is perfect
Praise American
>>52216Thank TF for playing the old-school show the other day
>alliterationYes you are ^_^
>>52218You? None. Torcuil however, IDK
>>52220>Thank TF for playing the old-school show the other dayThis confuses me.
>Torcuil however, IDKCan I summon a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons a skeleton that summons...
>>52221NO
>Doots in legion
[1d20+20 = 25]
>>52215
Ride check to keep up with demon horse
his penis probably won't fare as well... Just like mine you porn dumping faggot
>>52225*low, frightening growl*
*continues pumping paladin with predatory vigor*
>>52226Prancing predatory pastel periwinkle pony...
>>52225We need more
>>52221Can you develop a spell to turn Tracy into an aesthetically-identical, Fey version of herself?
>>52229*pounds paladin penis with puffy pony pussy*
>>52227"Oi, lad. See what ye can come up with fer M's for me would ye? The best I can do is 6. Vandereim the Masterful Mystical Messianic and Metaphysically Most Magnificent Bastard
sword," Vandereim shouts.
>>52226>>52230I feel like there's a spell for this
>>52227Eh, I guess I can take more now
>>52231>he shouts this from his sheath while his possessor is getting slammed beneath a succubus-horsekek
>>52231*moves Vanderiem away from succubus horse*
>>52234*locks jaws and moans into mouth*
[unintelligible whinnying]
>'I love you so much, Flashy!'
>>52235>>52235*wrestles with demon horse, grabbing her cheek and teats*
>>52228I feel like Transform or Polymorph would work.
>>52231Vandereim the Masterful, Mystical, Messianic, Marvelous, mysterious, Monumental, Most Metaphsically Magnificent Bastard
Don't forget that Murder and Mayhem - the definition of the latter being the severing of limbs, which is exactly what a sword of sharpness does - also start with M's
>>52237Something like Polymorph Any Object, only it includes Su and Ex abilities, like Shapechange.
>>52238And Majestic.
>>52239F U C K O F F
U
C
K
O
F
F
>>52240*sticks tongue in mouth*
>'I felt so pretty while you were riding me, Flashy. It was wonderful.'
>>52241*pets*
>"who's a pretty pony"
Pretty prancing predatory periwinkle pastel pony proficiently pounds pink plump puffy pony pussy on party's professional presidential padalin's penis, pumping post-preformance payment in her prior to passing out
Alright, I promise I'm done now
>>52242[whinnies like a schoolfilly through nostrils]
>'..I. I.. I- I AM! I am with you; I want everyone to see you riding me, Flashy! I love you so much.'*shivers with passion*
>>52243Is Pony the Paladin's Partner?
>>52244>"Good horsey"*wiggles inside horsey*
>"You'll be ridden much more"*kisses*
>>52245*bounces up and down on paladin*
*sloppy, passionate horse-kisses*
*barrage of horse emotions flood into mind*
>'Yes, oh yes, oh yes! Ride me, Flashy! I'll trot, I'll jump, I'll charge. I'll Take you anywhere in the multiverse on my back. I'll carry you to fame and glory. I am your mount, and you are my rider. I love you so much. I love the feeling of your buttcheeks pressing into my back, and your knees guiding my movements. I love every part of riding. I want the ride to never end!'*pounds harmonically, with blinding speed*
>>52246*And thus he rides*