So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.
If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1186 replies and 116 files omitted.
>>43632Its strangely satisfying to watch that happen
>>43633Welcome to Mixed Nuts. You'll need to do better than rolling dice and declaring a threshold of outcome. Memes would be a good place to start.
[1d100 = 12]>>43636Anon.
>>43637Come on man. I rolled good.
>>43637To watch the Dev Team nerf him within like 7 minutes? It's fun for me to watch
>>43638You rolled good once, yes; you don't roll for other players however.
The issue as it stands is that there were several rolls that went into determining A. whether Thez was at a necessary position of ovulation, whether or not both Trump and Infernius were opportunely positioned at time of ejaculation, the semen its self got a dexterity check, and the egg its self got a series of saving-throws. Its not a "heads its Trump, tails its Infernius" sort of situation.
>>43643Dice rolls change the course of fate,anon.
>>43644Yes, they don't undo it. If anon wants to play a high-level spell-caster capable of casting a wish spell just to throw salt at Infernius, that could be arranged
>>43643>All this shit using hidden dice rolls and modifiers and convoluted secret rules like how Tracy's faggot used to play her characterWhat? Just make a dice roll based upon the number of times the two had unprotected sex with her during the time window she would have gotten pregnant, and then a separate like 1d7 to determine if the egg miscarries after she discovers she's pregnant
>>43645>If anon wants to play a high-level spell-caster capable of casting a wish spell just to throw salt at InferniusHow bout I throw salt at Trump?
Can wish make sure it's Infernius' child?
>>43645Are you the guy telling the story? How would i make a character?
>>43646My point is, I was doing these dice rolls
as the play occurred. I can tell you exactly when it happened, it was when Thez made the "Fucking in Tents" joke.
>>43649I wish Infernuis was never born.
>>43648You can be as detailed and specific as you want, but you will need to have an idea of a preferred race, and generally an inclination of a class, to be specified later. All you have to do after that is wake up in a glassy room
no spoilers with a chest at the base of a bed.
>>43649Eh, I Just wanted to see the dice roll and rules and such
>>43650That' kind of mean though
>>43647Is that the game you want to play?
>>43651I guess i will be a griffon mage.
>>43653Alright. The room is well lit, and aside from the chest (also made out of that strange glass) there's a single door.
>>43654>Random guyThe guy his wife forced to have sex with her. And not random
>>43647Wish could technically do anything, but trying to Wish for greater effects may cause the spell to pervert your wish into something technically literal, but undesirable.
>>43655I wish that time will rewrite itself so that thez falls in love with Trump instead of Infernuis ,and tracy fell in love with torc.
>>43658DONT CURSE ME WITH THAT SHIT
Also, have fun casting a level 9 spell as a lvl 1 character
>>43658>meta this hardYour character has no knowledge of Thez or Infernius, Tracy or Torcuil.
>>43661Mr. Snek is gonna grapple the shit outta this bitch if he keeps it up.
Torc gets tired of checking out his ship and heads bakk to the tower
>>43659Reeeee! be nicer to my .... Nevermind
>>43659>level 9 spellTry a 600 Spellcraft DC Ritual.
>>43663Meta-gaming. Using player (henceforth referred to as the character's faggot) knowledge unknown to the character in a character's decision-making process.
>>43658REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>43665But on Wiz/Sor spell list its under lvl9
>>43663Did you just join to make chaos?
>>43662Don't worry, I'll pair you off with a nice Mod God. TRACY ON THE OTHER HAND WILL RECEIVE A GENUINELY TRUE EVIL MOD GOD
>>43666Okay how do i learn things?
>>43668>on Wiz/Sor spell list its under lvl9If you're referring to Wish, it doesn't have that magnitude of time control.
You're thinking of at least a years worth of rewritten history just for starters.
>>43672Thez and Trump didn't fuck years ago...
>>43673Yeah, but he'd also want time to create the circumstances to make alternate characters fall in love.
>>43674I would confort infernius, but I don't think he would appriciate Torc getting that close
>>43675Oh that
>implying GM will let him do it>>43677Oh I can't wait for Torc to encounter your character
>>43675How long does it take to fall in love? It didn't take Infernius long to go after Thez?
>>43676*hugs meme sorcerer*
"I love you, even if I do like roads"
>>43677Hello Yak Lee
>>43677Well Gryphanon, the most chaotic thing anyone's ever done so far in your position was to break the chest at the base of the bed. Technically it shouldn't have worked, but it was funny so I let it happen. The only other option is to interact with the door.
>>43683I turn the chest upside down then i leave.
>We have a Gryphon
Mazel Tov!
[1d20 = 1]>>43685As you open the door, there is an explosion
>>43683Remember Torc is in the tower, I wanna encounter this fag
>>43687>1>>43681"Uh thanks me too?"
>>43688NO
[2d4+18 = 25]
Its not a lethal explosion, but it does extra damage cuz 1.
Alright. You find yourself in a hallway, all made of that darkened glass that the previous room was made of, all except a well-charred metal sign saying "Please don't fire-trap the rooms".
>>43691"Another explosion? Now what the hell is going on? Come on Mr. Snek"
Torc runs to the explosion
>>43692>lvl 1 virgin giffon mageVs
>lvl 17 chaf meme wizard >>43690>>43690>Tries to think of things to say to impress an ancap"I've always wanted the freedom to be a Warlord"
>>43695>lvl differenceThat's exactly why it'd be gay if you killed him as soon as he spawned.
Get creative and see where it goes.
>>43696A-are you flirting with Torc?
>>43694Technically, but the idea was hilarious>>43695Who said level 1?
>>43697The hallway on one side has a series of doors, including the one you came from. On the far ends of the hall on the opposite wall are doors that are also closed.
>>43693>>43696>>43697>>43698why does everyone and everthing hate infernuis?
>>43701I don't hate him. Neither does Tracy, or at least not any more than she hates everything.
>>43698I ain't killing him quite yet
>>43700>who said level 1You scare me GM
>>43701I don't
>>43704Taylor started at lvl 10.
>>43700I sense magic on the doors and blow up the traps.
>>43702Stahp
>>43699"You are pretty dazzling sometimes. The way you killed that clown with no sense of fashion. Your crafting, your memes..."
>>43701"I like you Infernius. I like you most of all. Except I guess for Fae, but I really like you"
>>43701Because fuck you're happiness.
>>43709Reeee! Be nice to my... Coworker
>>43711"Wait! Don't leave my meme sorcerer! We could start a private security company together!"
>>43707Done. The doors are a little smoky, but they are unwarded. Pic is overhead of hallway, with only one door open on one side.
>>43700Torc and Snek continue running towards the sound
>>43713"I'm looking for the source of that noise"
>>43717*runs after dazzling meme sorcerer*
>>43715I use magic to become a filly and then look in the room with the open door.
>>43719WHAT
>>43718"WHAT DO YOU WANT"
>>43716Torc is on good terms with death
>>43719Boi
>>43719Are we talking an illusion or a transformation?
>>43722".... I want to be your friend.
We don't really talk much"
>>43723Transform into a green filly with a question mark as a cutie mark.
>>43726You mad memelet?
>>43727What do i see in the room?
>>43726"We've been here several months. So why not now?"
>>43729Stahp flirting with mah wizard
>>43728Yep, I can't wait for you to meet Torc
>preps Mr. Snek >>43728Its the room you came from, thats the only door thats open. If you're looking for the way out its probably one of the doors at the end of the hall.
>>43731I trot to the end of the hall.
>>43730 >>43726>load ofAlter Self is a pretty low-level spell.
>>43732K. On which side of the hallway did he go? Left/west or right/east? Nothing to detect on the door, so I assume going through?
>>43738And where is Torcuil coming from? I know he's going toward the bang, but where was he in the tower?
>>43737I'm guessing it's because he posted the image of the inn
>>43738i gotta go for awhile guys
pls no let bad thing happen. >>43739See
>>43698>>43740Idk, he teleport there but I'm not sure exactly where
>>43743I will defend infernius honor
>>43744Well, I want to have fun first.
>>43748*follows dazzling meme sorcerer*
*carries attack pony*
>>43748What I'm trying to determine is which of the two doors Torcuil would have gone toward, and at what point they would come across each-other
Gryphanonfilly is at the bottom-right of the map which is 1st floor
>>43752Where is the doors cause thats where Torc would've been
>>43754The main doors are at the top of the overhead, across from the stairs
>>43713Tracy would probably be in the stables, maintaining her equipment.
>>43755Okay, thtts where Trrc starts
>>43756Actually, she'd probably first think to feed her birds, so she's in there.
>>43753But pony us being petted and carried
*smells fresh soft pony fur*
"You smell like semen"
>>43749Thez wakes up, skips over to the bar and deposits Pickle I'nis into a plastic baggie and puts him in her bracelet.
>>43756Perhaps, but Torcuil will have gotten back to the Tower first
>>43757Alright, there's an adorable green filly at the end of the hallway
>>43760"FILLY, Hi little one how are you?"
>>43762"Well this is Trump tower. Do you have a name?"
I really miss nordfilly now >>43763I- im anon,you aren't going to do lewd things to me are you?
>>43764"Nice to meet you. I wouldn't oo that to you, why?"
>>43769I figured he'd just come back when he wanted to.
Also, gathering sticks should earn her some XP.
>>43767The last thing i saw that looks like you did lewd stuff with me.
I nuzzle your thigh.
>>43766Well, since the party has an airship now, there's increased potential for independent exploration/activity. I sympathize with the timezone issues, but if he still wants to play its no bother. She can gather sticks from exotic lands if desired.
>>43772"Oh..."
Torc scoops up the little filly in his arms
"Well I won't"
Mr. Snek begins to coil up as if to rest
>>43774Aww but i liked it though, are you sure you won't?
>>43775Torc turns redder than a communist flag
"Oh... w-well I... I mean... uhhhhh"
>I'm liking this anon filly character so far
>>43776Thats a nice shade of red on your face it reminds me of my flag, come on I'll make you feel good.
>>43779What you dont like little fillies? Um you arent gay are you?
>>43779Yeah, come on, Torc. You're not gay, right?
>>43780"What? No! I-its just, um.... well... where I'm from fillys aren't for lewd"
Mr. Snek notices Torc's distress
I know where this is going
>>43782Please mister its been a REALLY long time, I'll be your good little filly.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2a64aqZZZSQ>>43784"No no no no, I can't. But I know someone who would."
>>43785You know Torcuil, if you want to distract the Paladin who's after you
>>43785But your beard is great. Your 10/10 i wanna smash.
[1d20+7 = 17]>>43786What do you think I meant
>>43787"Well if you won't stop insisting... MR. SNEK?"
Torc sets anonfilly down and Mr. Snek grapples. Not enough to hurt, but just enough to hold in place
>>43788You can attempt a pin next round, but Anon is grappled.
Trumpaladin, who has totes not been stalking and following Torcuil this entire time, rushes in dashingly to defend Torcuil's honor
"I'll save you!"
>>43787"Well hello young filly... Are you at least 18 in horse years?"
>>43792Im 19 in horse years,sir.
>>43793"Oh someone kill me now"
>>43792"Oh praise Kek you're here."
Torc grabs anon and hands her to Trump
"Take this young semen demon away from me"
>>43791Grappled is "arm wrestling", a pin is a "tap"
>>43795"I'm glad to be of service"
>>43794"Well hello young but sufficiently aged filly... Where did you come from?"
>>43798Im from esquestria. Have you seen my mommy twilight sparkle?
>>43798>>43799"I'm fast as fuck boy"
Torc runs like a gnome outta hell
>>43799"Oh... Well you see... You're not in Equestria anymore, and never will again... I'm sorry.
Uh... Before we proceed, do you know who your father was, per chance?"
>>43792He's still carrying Tracy, isn't he?
>>43803He would either have Tracy in his arms or would have set her down very close to him
>>43805"Well... I don't think you're going home. But you say Twilight had a child?"
>>43807Yes she did, but why cant i go home?
>>43808"You're dead." Tracy says bluntly.
"We all are."
>>43808"You died there. You're on a different plane...
Although....
Our cleric may be able to plane shift you back to Equestria, when he comes back"
>>43809>>43810*Pets abandoned /mlp/ OC*
>>43810I'm only dead inside currently
>>43810"We're not dead, we
died," Thez is sitting on the ceiling again, but quickly hops up to a standing position, still on the ceiling. "BIG difference."
>>43810>Horse languag engauge.jpegYou are a pony. Whats going on here? who is he? What the hell is a cleric? Where did torc go? Why is he so sexy? How did i die?
>>43815Wait a second, you're Tay's faggot!
"I'm not really gone, I'm just hiding"
>humans get one additional language per int bonus modifier at start
>my character knows pony
>>43816This is my first character.
>>43816"Well hello there... You look charming"
Torc walks back in with Mr. Snek wrapped around him like armor
"Carry on"
>>43818>narrows eyes>>43817Wait really? That means Torc gets another 3
>>43812>horse language'This is the afterlife.. I think..'
'A cleric is some kind of mage.'
'All the bitches in this world want a crack at Torc for some reason, so you might be one.'
>>43821Cease your faggotry.
>>43822Did he have a natural 16 or was it lower then you allowed ability points to it as we gained them?
>>43815"Don't think I can't hear you, little pony"
>>43824Natural 16
I never touched ability points
>>43823Whats your name? I love your mane. Your cutie mark is so cool! How'd you get it?
>>43827'My name is Tracy.'
>How'd you get it?'Three days of pure concentrated autism.'
Thez gets an idea <whooooof>
>>43828Uh why is that regal man holding you?
>>43829How do you know equestrian? Thats cool too.
>>43833So you 2 do lewd stuff?
>>43834'All the time.'
*wraps hoof around paladin*
>>43835"You still smell like... Nevermind"
>>43835Hey tracy, i know what the rape game is.
>mfw being able to speak to horses was supposed to be my thing
>>43834<whoooof> Thez reappears doing her best "upper-class pompous" stance, a fine ruby monocle on her face and a matching ruby pocket-watch in her hand, extended as though she were checking the time. She looks at each character in turn."What do you think? Where's bones?"