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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1200 replies and 117 files omitted.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44704
44707
>>44701
>little note
"One might hope."
>>44702
>stabbing
Kek
"Alright, there's been enough build-up and GM informs me that yes, I AM drunk enough to tell the story, so let me tell the fuggin' story," she says while filling her glass,... again.
VoRsg
?
No.44705
44706 44709
she never stops trying, so don't stop clopping.jpg
>>44700
This is Tracy Cage we're talking about

>>44703
*works hands on pony to give her a massage*

whispers
"tell me if you want the hands anywhere specific"

\r
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44706
44707
>>44705
>At the bottom of the internet
I love that meme.

*Lays on back*
"..~hmmm.. do my belly and shoulders.. ~hmmm.. and my udders have been a little sore too recently.."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44707
44708 44709 44711
>>44706
*rubs pony from her shoulders all the way down to her crotch tits, then keeps one hand on her nipples while the other repeats the process*

>>44704
"I can't say I'm very familiar with gully dwarf society"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44708
44714
>>44707
"... F-flashy..!" She exclaims for no particular reason
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44709
44711 44714
>>44705
That meme makes me die inside every time I see it
>>44707
"Alright, how specific 'ya wanna get?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44710
44712
Desu, I am hesitant to read Tracy back-story cuz I like Tracy
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44711
44714
>>44709
>*Is distracted*
"We'll probably forget half of it in three week or so, so just start with what you think is most important."
>>44707
*Twists and turns in pleasure*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44712
44713
>>44710
Tl;Dr, she's a hoodrat.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44713
44714 44716
>>44712
Yeah, I know that part of it, but I've deliberately avoided the part where her reproductive tract got thoroughly wrecked (nigged, if I'm not mistaken) and so on so forth.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44714
294121__explicit_semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-wootmaster_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_blushing_cum_cum dump_dream_female_grayscale_implied straigh.jpeg
>>44709
*What do you want to tell us?"

>>44708
>>44711
*Moves pants around*

>>44713
She makes Trumpaladin look monogamous
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44715
44717
Thez begins - and I'm doing this not in first person for several reasons - describing the life and times of Orchidea de Fatima. And if you find yourself wondering "Isn't,..." the question may well be yes.
Orchidea was a princess of a remote Gray-Elven Enclave-kingdom. They were more a "large house" in traditional/conventional terms, but grey elves are all about their aristocracy,....
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44716
44720
>>44713
Idk if it's really that specific, since she's a meme-OC. She is the Element of Unoriginaity after all.
I'll dig some shit up from W00t's old collection tomorrow when I can find the strength to use my laptop instead of just phone posting from bed.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44717
44718
>>44715
Greentext it.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44718
44720 44721
At some point along their geo-political situation, the Fatima clan found themselves at odds with a tribe of Hobgoblins. This war was entirely inconsequential to Thez' story except that at one point during the war the least-princess decided (most foolishly) to lead a scouting party against their enemies.
>>44717
Oh FFS, what's the difference between a green-text and a "story"?
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44719
NOT the first time someone has said "greentext it" @ me
VoRsg
?
No.44720
44722 44723
[4d20 = 32]
>>44718
*Is listening*

>>44716
FULL ROUND BELLY WUBS ATTACK!
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44721
44724
ap,190x210,12x16,1,f8f8f8,t-pad,210x230,f8f8f8.lite-1.jpg
>>44718
Greentext is the way of our ancestors.
Tradition must be upheld.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44722
44723 44726
>>44720
That roll sucked.
*Moans at 17*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44723
44725 44727
1496879270973.png
>>44720
>tfw dice rolls too shitty to even land a touch attack
THIS is why I need the strength bonus

>>44722
*is too embarrassed to do anything right now*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44724
>>44721
"Oh fine, I'll green-text when I get to that point!"
Thez continues the story.
So Orchidea was a damn fool. That she was such a fool can be attributed to the dominance hierarchy she developed in, which conditioned her to perceive herself as beyond consequence or reproach. Whatever the case, she felt that she and her three-person honor guard would be sufficient to mete the adversaries they might find on their scouting venture.

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44725
44726
>>44723
>can't land a touch attack
Are you sure you're crunching the numbers right?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44726
>>44722
That first roll would have landed also... I think maybe technically the second would have....

*looks away*

>>44725
Deflection and Dexterity add into that right? So AC of 18 on Tracy
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44727
>>44723
You'll probably get something nice after the crawl.
Also, belly-rubbing is a dex-based check.
*Stares demandingly, waiting for moar wubz*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44728
44730
So Orchidea, in her hubris, found her guard slaughtered and herself bound and,... lots of lewd. I'm not kidding, its super lewd. Long story short, she got traded with the Gray Dwarves for superior equipment.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44729
44731
*eyes are fixated on Thez*

.... Zips pants back up...
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44730
44733
>>44728
>she got traded with the Gray Dwarves for superior equipment
Gib details on slave-trading swag.
5CQOG
?
No.44731
44732
[1d20+19 = 26]
>>44729
*Sleight of hand to unzip and pocket zipper*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44732
>>44731
You can't break off zipper quietly. At best just unzip. Also don't break the pimp suit
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44733
Upon being traded to the Gray Dwarves, she naturally was given first to the king. King Ughardt Korragar of the Gray Dwarves had already well outlived his time, but was kept alive by a particular ring, one that regenerated and maintained his vitality.
>>44730
Rly?
Anyway, he had lived almost two lifetimes, and yet while all the Gray Dwarves around him sported grey or black-hair, he maintained and never lost the lustrous maroon hue that had come to be recognized as sign of his rule and his legitimacy. Generations (as humans count them) passed, without a single heir apparent, until that elven wench was brought to him.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44734
44736
So upon being gifted (it was an exchange, but it was presented as a gift for cordiality) with an almost criminally young elf-maiden, he did what all ppl did in his case.
Fuck it.
Which, over time (it wouldn't be apparent immediately) would cause her (Orchidea) to lose favor amongst the Duergar nobility. Its not to say that they ever treated here "well", but they treated her observably "less so" once she was obviously carrying.
Eventually, Orchidea would at last give birth to a half dwarf-elf whom they called Gilana, which literally translates to "Dirty Money".
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44736
44737
>>44734
>Thez's real name is "dirty money"
"Fascinating"

Both hands are placed on the table
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44737
44739
>>44736
*Gently bites hand*
*Longing expression*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44738
Upon her birth, Gilana caused a few upsets. For one, Orchidea had been,... ahem useful amongst the leaders of the Gray Dwarf commuity, and her parentage could have been called into question except that from birth she had two distinct characteristics. There were her jasper eyes - the pride of the Fatima clan - and there was her maroon hair, which only king Ughardt bore and which was unmistakeable in the society.

It was at this point, that the Fatima elves came a' calling.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44739
44740
>>44737
*Looks at pony*

*Places one hand on her head, and pets down her neck*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44740
>>44739
[Happy pony noises]
VoRsg
?
No.44741
44743
[3d20 = 33]
[1d20 = 18]
Fuck it.

Trumpaladin goes for broke, with a pussy grab and nipple wubs with his other hand
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44742
44743
Checks board, sees bread is at 1200+
So that's why
The elves had not 'neglected' to notice that their princess was missing, and were most diplomatic - if at times militant - at determining her fate. The hobgoblins were long since routed, and the dwarves had no diplomatic ties. So, a dialogue began and an accord was reached.
The elves wanted their princess back, and weren't too particular about how they got it, so long as they got it. And so, an agreement was reached to return her to her home and her clan and everything else.
Naturally, her child - who technically held a claim for both the dwarven and elven kingdom - was ommitted from any such agreement. Under penalty of death.
And so, Orchidea was finally and ultimately released from her 'tenure' as Dwarven sex-slave, and returned from whence she came.
VoRsg
?
No.44743
44747
>>44742
What assholes

>>44741
I"m okay with these rolls. Even with multi-hand fighting penalties they defeat Tracy's AC.

The embarrassment of the past rolls is almost made up for
\r
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44744
44775
Meanwhile leaving GIlana. She appeared (at the time) not unlike the heroine from Stranger things except with grayer skin and redder hair, but generally the same. Guarded, wary, and entirely untrusting of anyone, she was 'volunteered' to stay behind and 'live' with the dwarves. The elven seneschal was particular about the upset an unwanted heir could have on their tightly knit society.
And so she stayed behind, where she served as varying degrees of 'plaything' for the dwarves who were not too concerned about her presence or significance.
Then came the 'incident'. The Dwarves, highly sophisticated in stone and metal-working, attempted to expand their horizons. The sages and wizards made grand claims about what could occur for the betterment of their culture if they captured a 'thing'.
That 'thing' was a lightning devil, and they really didn't know what they were getting into.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44745
And so came a particular party. Oh the whole kingdom was there (separated by social strata of course, the lower class on the lower level, etc.). Families, children, everyone was all excited about what new things the nation had developed. Gilana however was serving as target practice.
They couldn't keep her with the normal slaves, even though they kept her head shaved it didn't take more than a day's growth to make obvious the connection to the king. No one was ahem having their way with her, being the gathering and all, so she was literally put on a leash for the younger children to throw rocks at. They had made a game and were taking wagers to see who could - if any - would knock her off the ledge. The ledge in question was about 20' - mostly not fatal - and the children delighted themselves in zinging stones off various parts of her.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44747
44749
>>44743
>they defeat Tracy's AC
Tracy is unarmored, and her huge natural armor won't actually stop attacks from making contact with her body, so she's a sitting duck for belly rubs.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44748
44750
Now the grand conclusion of this party is and would be the retention and 'claiming' of this lightning devil, the possession of which would afford the clan access to degrees of power and autonomy they had only imagined.
Naturally, thats not what happened.
The young kids were on their game, and at length did succeed in forcing Gilana from the ledge with their stones. Admittedly, it wasn't so much that they succeeded, its that she began to give up. Don't pick at it, there's lots of feels. The short version is, is that as Gilana stumbled off the ledge was the same moment that - further in the same chamber - the Lightning Devil was released. She actually watched it climb into 'that' dimension as she fell, and then almost immediately it went tearing by her, followed by screams and wails.
Gilana fell and landed next to a set of auxiliary boxes and barrels, which she took refuge in. As she did so, the devil meticulously and exhaustively tortured and killed everything that moved.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44749
44751
d76.jpg
>>44747
>Claiming the +10 natural armor which is wrong for so many reasons
Just
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44750
44752
>>44748
How did it not see her or find her though?

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44751
44754 44850
0775660d-083b-4650-8c72-f937d1635c9e_screenshot.jpg
>>44749
Rest assured that your loving waifu and her foal are well-protected by her skintanium armor.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44752
44753
>>44750
The simple answer is because she neither screamed nor looked. She shut her eyes, clenched her teeth, and took what breaths she dared, when she thought that she could.
Many hours passed, and Gilana was too terrified to even move, but eventually - after a LOOOOONG wait - made her way from her hiding place. The bodies around her were blackened, shriveled, and distorted almost to the point of being unrecognizable. The hall was silent, except for a gasping sound from the upper hall. Eventually, both from morbid curiosity and from why the hell not" she made her way up to the upper chamber, the "royal" section. There she found, amidst the otherwise broken and shrivelled corpses, that there was one 'corpse' that was not dead. It was of course, her father. His life had been spared, thanks to a white-gold ring which had become signet and sign of his dominance and permeance. She didn't know that the ring was keeping him alive, but she did know - from how the dwarves behaved toward it (kiss the ring shit) - that it was important. So, when this grasping shell of a shriveled skeleton reached at her, she stomped on it and took its ring. That ring.
Her first kill was technically her own father, who had knowlingly and deliberately slaved her.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44753
44755
>>44752
Edgy.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44754
1515639599205-0.png
>>44751

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44755
44756 44757
>>44753
Oh fuck off
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44756
>>44755
What? That wasn't an insult.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44757
44760 44763
>>44755
*Boobs*
"I i really do love it when you rub my belly, Flashy. You can get this kind of fix anywhere in Equestria."
*Rolls over*
"Would you mind doing my hips as well, dear? They've been awfully cramped lately."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44758
44759 44763 44775
Concluding this voluminous leg of the story,...
"So yeah,... I got an issue with establishments, hierarchies, and how the groups that build themselves around iconic individuals can cause suffering for the least of their "group"."
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44759
44763
>>44758
>I got an issue with establishments, hierarchies
This is why I prefer neutral.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44760
44761 44763
>>44757
*Boops* *
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44761
44762
>>44760
I liked Boobs better
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44762
>>44761
Boobs are always good.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44763
44764 44765
>>44757
*uses hands to rub and massage pony's hips*

>>44758
"Yeah yeah, I've met many people who have problems with authority, and shout "oppression" at every little thing"

>>44759
>>44760
*glares and stops rubbing*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44764
44766
>>44763
>stops rubbing
*Stares*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44765
44766
>>44763
kek
"OH? And what're iou're ympressions of thses "people"?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44766
44767 44768 44769
>>44765
"Sounds like evil to me. Now do you think they'd have behaved any better if they were disorganized, lawless thieves and raiders?"

>>44764
*stares right back*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44767
44772
>>44766
*Wiggles hips*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44768
44770
>>44766
Sounds more Chaotic to me, desu.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44769
44770
>>44766
"I don't follow."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44770
44771 44776
>>44768
Well no shit the counter example was choatic

>>44769
"Why do you blame their faults on structure and hierarchy? Do you think people would behave any better in a state of nature with no organization or structure or hierarchy or law? Do you think that would result in less selling children as slaves?"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44771
44772
>>44770
*Splays thighs*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44772
44773
>>44771
>>44767
*pets pony ears, kind of roughly*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44773
44778 44859
>>44772
*Lifts tail*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44774
>Faggot goes to bed because 3:00 AM
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44775
44777
>>44672
>>44676
>>44682
>>44690
>>44744
>>44758
*holds thez*
"Me sorry that happend to you ana."

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44776
44778
>>44770
"Because structure and society is what bid them to act as they did. Their decisions, their 'normalcy' was what created the nightmare I woke into."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44777
44779
>>44775
>coming in this late
"And now YOU know why I gives so many shits about a child which may experience consequences above and beyond what you OR I could envision," she says, tipping her head at one point.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44778
44780
>>44773
For the first time ever - maybe last time? - Trumpaladin seems to be able to ignore the call

>>44776
"You think that society made them to be selfish at the expense of others? Do you think that without society and law, they wouldn't desire sex, or feel superior, or be proud?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44779
44781
>>44777
"Me would sacrifice soul to protect you and addy."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44780
44782
>>44778
"Yes. Dwarves are a very tightly-knit society, otherwise prioritizing its youth and offspring,... except when the child is 'undesirable'".
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44781
44783
>>44779
"And it is my hope that it won't come to that," and that's the one that she looses composure over.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44782
44784
>>44780
"But you admit that dwarven society generally values children? A society that sections off a portion of its members as "undesirable" - at least where this undesirability is for reasons other than merit - is a faulty society. But it is through society that we gain the interactions that help in our survival and prosperity."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44783
>>44781
*offers shoulder to cry on*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44784
44785
>>44782
"And what of the families that upheld the throne? What of the society that decided "meh, slaves are okkay"? What of the elves who decided that a dual-heir child was 'inconvenient' and better unmentioned and left 'unpoken' "for the betterment of their society"?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44785
44786
>>44784
"Do you think that they wouldn't use and exploit others if they lived as animals with no society? Do you think that if they lived for the betterment of themselves they would be nicer to children than when they live for the betterment of their society?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44786
44787 44789
>>44785
"So what then? Do I then resign myself to having drawn the short straw?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44787
44788 44789
>>44786
"You reform imperfect institutions. But you do not tear them down. You fix a roof that leaks in the rain. But to destroy it, or to mistrust the idea of roofs all together - is folly. And so it is with the laws, customs, and traditions, that are designed to restrain the selfish impulses that dominate the natural condition, and provide the security and trust that make industry and coexistence possible"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44788
44790
>>44787
"Reform, tear down,... it makes little difference to me. I have few concerns in and of this world, and anything,... anything that threatens dies. That's not a matter of established hierarchies or social dynamics, that's simply my will."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44789
44790 44791
>>44787
>>44786
"Well me think that we should secure the existence of our race and a future for white children."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44790
44797
>>44788
"So destroy that which threatens? Is that the whole of your philosophy?"

>>44789
"Not a bad idea"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44791
44792 44793 44798
>>44789
"... in blood."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44792
44793
>>44791
"If need be yes. We will not hesitate."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44793
44794 44797
>>44791
>>44792
"What exactly are you existing for the sake of? Existing?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44794
44795 44797 44818
>>44793
*glares*
"The white race is master race, the only ones that can reach the stars."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44795
44796
>>44794
"Well that's a better answer. So then is your goal to reach the stars?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44796
44798
>>44795
"My goal is to conquer this land so my Daughter and wife will be safe, after that yes."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44797
44799 44800
>>44790
"In short-form, yes."
>>44793
"Sake of, I'm not sure I understand your meaning. There are things that are consequential that I owe it to myself to see to, and to which I will see. I can do no more."
>>44794
"I'm not 'white',...."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44798
44801 44807
>>44796
>Conquer this land
"Uh huh"

>yes
"Well, I've heard less satisfying answers, so I'll give you a pass"

>>44791
"You. What is your purpose here?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44799
44802
>>44797
"You are on inside, me can tell."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44800
44807
>>44797
"What, to you, is "consequential"? What is your purpose here? "Destroy that which threatens" what?
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44801
>>44798
"What that supposed to mean?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44802
44803
>>44799
"White on the inside is your standard now? I guess I respect cultural nationalism, I just thought it wasn't your's"
DOV7+
?
No.44803
44804 44805 44807
[1d20 = 8]
>>44802
Roll to punch brad sentry
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44804
44806
>>44803
"We're done here"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44805
44806
>>44803
>Didn't beat AC
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44806
>>44804
>>44805
"Yea we are."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44807
44808
>>44798
>>44800
She crosses her arms and stares intently at Trump. At interval she looks in various directions, but her visage maintains.
"T... this."
>>44803
Yeah that was weak
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44808
44809 44811
>>44807
"Then you better stop your husbando, because he's destroying it"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44809
44810 44811
>>44808
"YOU destroy it by being an obnoxious cunt."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44810
44812
>>44809
"If you want to be a racist, be consistent. And if you don't want to, that's just fine as well. But don't attack people when they point this out"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44811
>>44808
"Wut?"
Genuine confusion, and not just her. Oh wait,...
>>44809
"What now?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44812
44813
>>44810
"She my wife and me love her. You made me angry me reacted."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44813
44814
>>44812
"If you want to have friends then you need to calm the fuck down. Do you like to be attacked?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44814
44815
>>44813
"She honorary."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44815
44817 44818
>>44814
"But why the fuck do you attack me? Do you like being attacked?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44817
44818 44819 44821
>>44815
"no. And me sorry for swinging. But you hurt Infernuis feelings. Me no that no reason to attack. Here's 3 grenades as apology."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44818
>>44794
"Uhm,"
Anyone remember Meridian 59? I'm suddenly inclined to go red-sky. I won't,... yet, but still
>>44815
>>44817
Awkward teardrop, nothing said
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44819
44820
>>44817
"You hurt my feelings though... But I accept your apology"

*goes in for hug*
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44820
44821
>>44819
*accepts*
"Me value brads friendship. Me really do want to conquerthis land though."
VoRsg
?
No.44821
44822 44851
>>44817
*sadly*
"You know I don't have your ebin arms or strength. Or your six gorrlion hp. My allies aren't that loyal, and even my sword won't side with me. It's not an even fight. So I'm vulnerable to you in a way I'm not to others..."

Looking away, and mutters silently
"I only have one set of dark powers to counter"

"So that's why it really hurts"

>>44820
"I... I value you too. Let's conquer this thing together"
\r
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44822
44823
>>44821
"Brad we need to go on quest to get you more powerful weapon."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44823
44824 44825 44851
>>44822
"Maybe... I'd kind of like a pet dragon as well. Well not a "pet," but an associate"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44824
44825 44826
>>44823
"Okay, but brad please don't put penis in it."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44825
44826
>>44823
>sez the guy with a "dragonne" as an associate
>>44824
>delighted audience noises
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44826
44827
>>44825
>Dragonne associate
I have a theme I want to keep up

>>44824
"We'll see"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44827
44828
>>44826
"Um tracy REALLY wouldnt like that."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44828
44829
>>44827
"True. But I like to have options in case Tracy ever fails me"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44829
44830
>>44828
"Hmm well me guess that fair. As long as you don't do it before then you not degenerate."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44830
>>44829
"I won't I'm sure, though I really want to sometimes...

I don't think your waifu is really into the whole white-race-reaching-the-stars thing yet. Should we teach her sometime of the idea of collective glory?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44831
44832 44833 44836
>enraged Thez noises
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44832
44834
>>44831
At me or him?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44833
>>44831
"Are you repulsed by the idea of being a part of something greater than the self? Something that outlives the self? Of beauty, splendor, and awe? Of creating that sense of awe in others?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44834
44835
>>44832
Him. Mostly.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44835
>>44834
"Why do you not like me? Don't think I didn't notice that subtle knock at me when spoke of "prominent individuals" earlier. And don't think I haven't noticed that I've received the least equipment"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44836
44838
>>44831
"What wrong?"
wchUD
?
No.44837
[1d20 = 7]

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44838
44839 44840
>>44836
"I,... I don't know."

Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44839
>>44838
*Hugs*
"It okay ana."
VoRsg
?
No.44840
44841
[1d20+27 = 32]
>>44838
>I don't know
Oh yes you do! Rolling for sense motive
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44841
44842
>>44840
Oh she's DEFINITELY hiding shit.
"What does it matter anyway?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44842
44843
>>44841
"I want to know how I offended you in this instance, and why you don't like me generally"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44843
44844 44845 44846
>>44842
"Its not offense,... its,... hope." She says sheepishly. "I'd rather you,... not know,... why."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44844
>>44843
"I just don't like to be detested is all. It worst when you don't know the reason why. But even when you know exactly why... It's still not pleasant"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44845
44846
>>44843
"Will you tell me?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44846
44847
>>44843
"You're not detestable, don't over-do it," she mutters acknowledgingly.
>>44845
"Maybe. You caught the cliff notes of earlier, its more of the same."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44847
44848
>>44846
"Ana you know you can tell me anything"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44848
>>44847
"Yes,... but,... there are some things better left unsaid."
And with that, she >boops Infernius on the nose
passing out cuz 2:30+a
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44849
>>44666
>>44665
I think you two got it between you. Thanks
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44850
>>44751
>>>/test/
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44851
44859
>>44821
>>44823
*humps leg*
"I'm on your side, Flashy."
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44852
44854 44889 44893
What classes would the mane six be if they were in game?
I think:
>Twilight: Wizard
>Pinkie: Bard
>Rainbow Dash: fighter
>Fluttershy: druid
>Raity: Not sure.. I wanna say arcana archer, but she not elf
>Applejack: Cancer Mage
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44854
44855
>>44852
No, Dash would be a rogue
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44855
44858
1582637__safe_artist-colon-wandrevieira1994_commander hurricane_rainbow dash_angry_armor_bipedal_helmet_shield_spread wings_sword_weapon_wings.png
>>44854
Dash is all about being the best at everything: she'd go for those Fighter bonus feats.
Also, she's too bold and impatient to be a Rogue. It'd take all her willpower to resist making a sonic rainboom before a sneak attack.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44858
1228230__safe_artist-colon-pink1ejack_rainbow dash_dungeons and discords_absurd res_boots_clothes_crossover_dungeons and dragons_epaulettes_fantasy cla.png
>>44855
Then again, she could probably make for a pretty awesome Rogue too (I just remembered S6 e17). I feel like she'd prefer being on the front lines though, with all the glory.
All in all, Dash would make sure she's 20% cooler than everyone at everything.
VoRsg
?
No.44859
44861 44862
[2d20 = 3]
>>44773
>>44851
Grapple pony, pull vulnerable and exposed pony onto penis
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44860
44873
Hey, can Tracy pull a korak and make sneak attacks bye flinging kunai from under her robe?

Tracy makes sure all her edges are keened before the crawl.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44861
>>44859
Aww
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44862
44863
>>44859
Tracy gives him a hand and grapples herself, because those rolls sucked balls.
*lowers self onto penis*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44863
44866
>>44862
gives him a hoof*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44864
44865
>>44686
Wubs cute little pony on the belly, chest, and shoulders down to nipples
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44865
44866 44868
>>44864
You responded to Thez
VoRsg
?
No.44866
44867
[4d20 = 60]
>>44865
Lol, phone posting

>>44863
Wait a minute. Tracy's now in a position she can't respond properly to attacks. She looses her dexterity bonus to AC

FULL ROUND OF BELLY WUBS! Target vulnerable spots like her nipples for extra wubs
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44867
44870 44872
>>44866
>Tracy's now in a position she can't respond properly to attacks. She looses her dexterity bonus to AC
Tracy has Improved Uncanny Dodge. She retains her dexterity bonus when flat-footed, and cannot be flanked.
However, she does not resist.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44868
44869
>>44865
bounces pony
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44869
>>44868
*rises and falls*

Wtf is this stale bread still on the overboard?
VoRsg
?
No.44870
44873
[4d20 = 44]
>>44867
Wubs!

bounces!

sages
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44872
44873
>>44867
CRITICAL WUBS
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44873
44874
>>44860
A kunai/shuriken is a small object, so she'd get +4 bonus on Sleight of Hand checks to conceal them.
>>44872
>>44870
*turns to putty in his hands*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44874
44875
>>44873
*hugs adorable little pony, and humps until he finishes in her*

*rubs pony belly again afterwards
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44875
44876
>>44874
*pats navel and sighs, defeated*
VoRsg
?
No.44876
44877
>>44875
"Are you sad, little pony?"
\r
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44877
44878
>>44876
"~Hmmmm... why would I be, Flashy?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44878
44879
>>44877
*pets cute little pony*
"I don't know, but I love you Tracy"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44879
44880 44881
>>44878
*giggles*
"I love you too, Flashy."
*boops*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44880
44881
1512977829259.png
>>44879
Oh noes! He left him self open to a boop attack!

*Frantically tries to boop back*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44881
44882 44883
boop.png
>>44879
>>44880

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44882
44884
>>44881
Good morning.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44883
44884
image.png
>>44881
GM confirms that pony is booped
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44884
44886
>>44882
'Mornin
>>44883
I woke up, looked in thread, saw booping,... so booped
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44885
44890
fire_horse___nightmare___speed_photoshop_by_raquelbc-d7fyhzt.jpg
>tfw you take the time to study your character's abilities in combat and realize you can do a lot more cooler shit than you thought at better optimization
I just realized That Tracy hasn't been making any Trample attacks while mounted. With YUGE size-class and 31 Str, she can push-over and crush almost anything underhoof that doesn't opt to get out of her way, not to mention that extra Flaming hoof attack she'd get after knocking her opponent prone.
She's be better off to just charge and overrun low-level grunts when facing a large army, instead of slowly cleaving through them, so I'll do that from now on and let Trumpaladin do the sword-swinging.
If her rider had mounted combat, he could negate any virtually attack of opportunity made at her by enemies desperately trying to defend themselves (they can't avoid her because shoes gib Trample feat), since they get a -4 modifier on their Attack of Opportunity. Not to mention that she can lower their save DCs with Intimidate and Doom.
>Cauchemar: old French for "Spirit that Tramples"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44886
44887
>>44884
I'm hungry for some fresh bread, desu.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44887
44888
>>44886
Soon, and boop just in case
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44888
>>44887
/)
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44889
44890
285547__safe_artist-colon-cheshiresdesires_applejack_comic_monochrome_moustache_muscle wizard_offscreen character_parody_solo.png
>>44852
>tfw nobody responded to Cancer Mage joke, but want to post the pic anyway
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44890
44891 44892 44893
NMM wearing a Peytral.png
>>44885
I think you're overrating Mounted Combat. Mounted Combat is essentially an alternate way of calculating a mount's AC. Trachemar already has a very high +16 natural armor that comes with the Cauchemar template. If we assume Trumpaladin has 10 ranks in ride, and the shoes give 10, then he'd need to roll a 6 to even equal her AC, and a 7 to provide even a +1 benefit. You may as well armor her. There is no reason to charge into battle on a naked mount when armor is so sexy.

>>44889
I saw it. I was not pleased
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44891
44894
mlpol.jpg
>>44890
>You may as well armor her
I'd put some chain shirt or plate on her for cavalry charges. She'd also look sexy in a nice painted decorative mantle/cloak too though (pic semi-related). What design were you thinking of? She needs a cool helmet to go with it too.
>overrating mounted combat
I know she doesn't need the AC, but I was thinking more for attacks from spells that that would otherwise hinder her movements, because I hate having to slow down (or get fugged by a death spell or other lethal attack) while charging like a speeding bullet. It's not that important though, I was just drooling over her combat prowness.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44892
44894
3263765_24983829_7dragon.jpg
>>44890
Were you thinking of putting some armor or a mantle on Fae too? heard you mention mithril breastplate, but I think it'd really just cover-up her naturally-shiny brass scales. She'd look ebin with a partially-covered, white mantle though.

If Tracy got a decorative helm or armor though, it should leave some space around her mane for the flames to flow through, because that natural illumination is stylish asf.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44893
44894
>>44890
>I was not pleased
I thought it was funny...
I love muscle wizard jokes..
>>44852
But shitposting aside, II think AJ would be a Lawful Neutral Ranger.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44894
44895
1282250__safe_artist-colon-pencils_pinkie pie_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-fannie noveau_oc-colon-padlock_oc-colon-redstone_building_choker_church_cle (2).png
1282250__safe_artist-colon-pencils_pinkie pie_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-fannie noveau_oc-colon-padlock_oc-colon-redstone_building_choker_church_cle (3).png
>>44891
I've looked into this. The heaviest armor Trachemar could have that does not encumber her or slow her down, is Mythril breast plate - which is the heaviest medium armor, but is a light armor when made out of mythril. That would give her +5 AC before enchantments but at only -1 armor check penalty.

It's an incredibly sexy way to armor her too. Imagine something along the lines of Nightmare moon's armor, but with the neck armor being separate from the chanfron, there being a full set of plate covering her chest, and the whole set having the beautiful silvery polished-titanium look of mythril. Obviously I'd cover her in a beautiful Templar Knights caparison as well, but I don't know if you'd want that.

>Mounted combat against spells
How does this work?

>>44892
>Armoring Fae
Oh absolutely. Armoring Fae is where I first got the ideas from, but then I realized that there was no reason not to do the same to Tracy

>White mantle on Fae
I'd love to decorate her like the OC pony Priestess Padlock in pics related. Padlock is absolutely adorable in her religious zealotry and her desire to purge the heretics, even if her vow of celibacy is frustrating. I think of Fae as somewhat similar, although with a more "stuck up" attitude than Priest Padlock. To give Fae such a caparison, and especially if it were something functional like a robe of resistance, would be great

>Space in Chanfron to allow flames
Done. I could probably find more pics of what I had in mind

>>44893
>Lawful nuetral ranger
Yeah, I can see that
Anonymous
5CQOG
?
No.44895
>>44894
Yeah, that's the look. If she's a priestess, then white robes are the way to go.
>stuck up
I don't really see that. She just seems professional.
>Mythril breast plate
That stuff's expensive, m8. And time consuming.
It'd look ebin though.
>How does this work?
The feat description says "when your mount is hit in combat, you may attempt a Ride check (as a reaction) to negate the hit." It probably doesn't just backhand targeted spells (not sure what a "hit" means), but it should at least be able to negate touch-range attacks.
For Fighters, it's necessary, because non-paladins are fugged if their mounts get shot even once in battle.

The real benefit to it is that it's also a prereq for Mounted Archery, and all of the other riding feats. I just thought that Trumpaladin could train for it while he's training Fae or Tracy in the holodeck.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44897
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/44896.html