With Nuts of course.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, Hearths Warming, or some other degenerate (Kwanza) or (((unspoken))) tradition, I hope you have a safe and 'as happy as possible' holiday season as you no doubt maneuver in and out of the world of normies and others!
I have no idea if any crucial gaming will occur weekend, but its about to get funky-fresh on several fronts. We last left Torcuil trying to navigate through Krenshal for someone skilled and crazy enough to build a Robo-ponk. Trumpaladin and Tracy were getting their things together to hunt a Unicorn with Elway's blessing and direction. Thez is being a little bit emo (its the hormones) while Infernius continues being a dutiful and upstanding guy.
What will happen next, and in what order? Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!
1162 replies and 98 files omitted.
>>37272I don't think devourers just plane shift as easily as you suggest, but whatever, it's a spooky enough possibility
Trumpaladin orders the generals to return to and fortify the hallowed ground of the stadium, and coup up as much of the civilian population there as possible. Cute sex horse and necessary troops are to remain and shoot projectiles over the walls at enemy masses, however
>>37273It's not planeshift, it's Etherrealness, and they can use it at will at 20th caster level to freely shift between the material, Etherrealness, and astral planes.
>>37274All the same, the wiki implies that they stay on the ethereal plane
I'm going to head off to dinner soon.
Merry Christmas everybody.
>>37270>>37271Say he's using a Gargantuan Candy Cane. And he's wearing a suit of bright red polar bear bear hide armor.
Also, he has a beard, despite being a skeleton.
Bah humbug. Here for the duration, w/ energy drinks n shit.
>>37283I'z have question, but I am afraid of the answer
>>37283post a thez for the party pic.
>>37287I didn't save the one I would have gone with, but this one is fine.
>>37286Okay o_O
>>37289It was a modified RL cosplay pic. The girl looked like Arya from Game of Thrones, wearing a leather tunic and with cosmetic ears, faced away from the camera.
What, I notice things. Xp
>>37290You mean this one I made?
I considered throwing it out, because the hair was fugged.
>>37291Revenge for the kitten shoop.
Santa's little helper. >>37293Of course, we can't forget her cool Monk staff, and some holly because why not?
*insane laughter*
>>37296That gave me a hearty chuckle.
>>37296Fucking Kek. I love how Torcuil is mostly a fabric sample
Will we be able to finish off the giant skeleton tonight?
>>37301I can do it. We already landed hits in two rounds and now we are waiting for the giant's round
>>37300You're welcome
*Hugs* >>37302D'aww, cute. Why is Tracy bigger than me though?
>>37301Consider it finished, it was a big giant distraction anyway. A few rounds of coordinated attacks would kill.
>>37305Reeee I want to do math and kill it with math
>>37304because ms paint is the worst program ever.
>>37305>DistractionWhy am I not surprised
pic related
>>37307Tis true. I am not good with programs
>>37305Can I haz its club as a trophy?
>>37307I never use anything but this:
https://pixlr.com/editor/ >>37308>>37305i wonder (((who))) could be behind this attack?
>>37309The giant needs a special feat just to wield it. No. Now lets go attack the main force before they suck the souls of everyone in town
>>37310*cough* Bush Dynasty *cough*
>>37305Um... during the fight the generals were ordered back to the stadium... See
>>37273 >>37306You're welcome to kill it with math
>>37308Thez has been saying "too easy" for how long?
About 4 intermittent bang-sounds issue from within the city. Thez stops her murder spree and <whooof>
>>37310(((who))) indeed? Didn't you get a hitler-vision recently?
>>37309thanks i didnt save the link.
>>37311R-R-Rock-fellers.
>>37311>>37314My money is on the Clintons.
>>37318>>37314Or maybe, everyone at once. My God. It's 2016 all over again
*Raises sword*
*Spurs horse again*
>>37317I meant the video, but yeah he did kill some undead recently didn't he?
>>37318No dynasty's yet, but there are some crazy liches up in the mix
>>37316"Unf!"
*gallops towards said sounds*
>>37319She loses hit points when you spur her, fyi"UNF!"
*gallops even faster*
>>37318The original pic of this looks scarier, desu...
If you destroy a lich in combat without offing its phylactery, do you still get XP?
>>37321She's killed like 100 or so zombies and in part taken out a Cloud giant, and her HP went from 172, to 170 because her rider spurred her.
I kind of want to fuck the horse in that image...>>37326What spells does demon horse want?>>37324That legit is scarier
>>37323I know right
>>37328>SpellEagle's Spendor will help with Saving Throws.
Deathward sounds helpful against liches.
Bull's strength for attacks.
Heal Mount as go-to healing spells.
Wait until the battle. How many ranks did you put into Concentration?
>>37331I picked some choice liches for this initial encounter with liches,... crazy liches.
>>37331This
>>37330Death ward is my intuition. Are you sure you want to use up level two spells because I think I may need to cast remove paralysis?
What do you think we're up against?
>>37332Nice. Cast protection from evil, target self and mount. Cast resistance
>>37335>What do you think we're up against?Every lich is a spellcaster with at least 11 levels. Expect high-level necromancers.
>I think I may need to cast remove paralysis?Do as you wish, although you've got that spell-resistance cloak, and Heal Mount removes most status effects. Reminder that you're sharing Tracy's monstrous Saving Throw bonuses, so defense isn't as big of an issue.
>>37335As the giant skeleton eventually falls to Tracy and Trump's direct and insistent attack, a feeling of dread seems to spread.
As soon as the spell is active, it becomes hyper-active, burning its self out after about 4 rounds of hyper-visual-activity.
So as I understand it, Trumpaladin has a +10 fort base, +1 for his Constitution modifier, +4 for charisma, +1 for the stone of luck, and that Cloak of resistance which should be like +1-+5
Resistance adds +1
Protection from evil adds +2
>>37336Yikes. We know at least one of them has the power to use finger of death...
I think the shared throw only benefits the mount, and also I did the math and it looks like both Tracy and Trump have +10 bases plus modifers
>>37337Trumpacy advance towards the sound and danger with spuring and speed
>>37338Since coming from the giant fight at the bridge, Trump and Tracy can only directly affect one leg of the incursion. Don't worry, you get to kill Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
>>37339The Notorious RBG you say? Nice
I like her argumentation style... >>37338Finger of death only kills you if you are a bitch.
>>37342So true. I've got like a ~20+ fort save now anyways
>>37338They can tough-out pretty much any spell with a save.
>Finger of DeathDon't be a bitch.
Unless you run into some lvl 30 Archmage, it won't be anything to be afraid of.
If ypou're afraid, cast Deathward.
>>37339Can't she jump/fly over the horde to get to the action faster?
>>37341She more floated in. It is as though a dark cloud interjected its self, accentuated by a skeletal face.with "brown" tightly knit "hair". Upon critical review, you can't be certain that any aspect is "alive"
>>37344They are going into town. Fly or gallop, either way it's 100 ft.
Some of these spells have very high DCs, like 10+1/2 caster level plus charisma modifer. At least that can be high
>>37346I was in the Court Room the day Whole Women's Health was delivered by the Justices. I saw Ruth Bader Ginsberg. As the Justices walked away and back into their quarters, RBG took much, much longer than any of the others. Holy hell is she old
>>37347Stop worrying about meta and focus on the fight. TRrumpaladin doesn't know shit about necromancy, so it doesn't matter if we do.
>>37347Dood, read the writing. She's unholy and profane and is being held together by force of magical will rather than biological design. And she'll die soon.
>>37351
I only have one level 4 spell. I can do one or the other, but not both...
>>37350That's a pretty accurate description
>>37354There's 3 of them in this encounter desu, she's just one (the "oldest")
>>37350GM, can I do a lay of hands touch attack while charging?
>>37355Go to a different Lich. There are plenty of Lichs
>>37355Use one of your mass heal spells.
Can Tracy attack with her chain before they get there? It's got a 60 ft range.
>>37359i am when i get close to a lich.
>>37361There are a lot of lichs in town, you should probably check another area...
>>37360She can travel at twice her speed in a charge round. that's 200 feet. She'd be in range before it mattered
Can they see the other liches from where they are?
>>37364>>37364I want to know who they are
Is it Kagan and Sotomayor? Are their clerks Vampire helpers?
Fucking Anthony Kennedy too
>>37367Soros is a balor. These are liches
>>37368all jews are the same desu.
>>37366Wait for it, Anon.
>>37367It'd already be clear if he were. You could see him from a mile away, with the height and the flame.
>>37370Any desired spells?
Deathward would last 16 minutes on both Trump and Tracy
>>37371Wait for the encounter first.
>>37373>>37373Boop
I'm watch a movie with family per Christmas tradition though
>>37373Well, I'll probably lurk for the next couple hours.
>>37379Kek. I just saw that one on my watchlist.
>>37295I tried cleaning up her face and making the hair look a bit less terrible.
Desaturated this Wood Elf
>>37389Good. Good. Blog post with us
I honestly believe it's not a bad movie. I watched it a couple nights ago with a friend when we went to see it at midnight. It's definitely better than the other two disney Star Wars films and any of the prequals,
although it drags on for way too long - it should have been shorter.
But I think it's a solid film So I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday, allow me to get meta for a moment.
I've kind of painted myself into a corner. This was supposed to be the point at which the party becomes aware of certain aspects of the world through a lengthy villainous monologue/description, but Liches don't do that. In fact, in this context all they would do is attack. No explanations or dialogue, just a throwing of themselves and their resources against their opponent. Liches revive after a short period of time, and there's always more corpses to animate, so who cares? So, in the conclusion of the immediate situation, I'm going to introduce a new NPC to give convenient explanations. In this way, we can still meta as needed, but in a very tongue-in-cheek gesture it will enable characters to know stuff by way of convenient explanations. Pic related is convenient eplanation man
>>37391>Implying Thez shouldn't already know all of this shitThat's okay, it's very easy to imagine the lichs have human lackeys that are taken alive
I'm finally making some plans for world building after the war is over.
The lack of international commerce has been putting a hold on my world building for a while, but hopefully I can get back in the gameUm... I got a few things I want for my Fae after the battle is over... >>37396Do I redeem myself by currently reading The Art of the Deal?
>>37397Yes. Absolutely. I've felt kind of lonely here making references to it, but no one gets my references because I am the only person who has read it
>>37398D'aww, thanks. Merry Christmas Dixie
>>37399Prepare to have your references understood Donny
>>37400Mein Kampf is next on my reading list don't worry
>>37391Well, I assume the liches didn't go down without a fight. How many spell slots did it take to fell them? How much energy did we expend?
>>37402Oh certainly not, and the Liches timed their arrival. At the same time they're arriving (there's three) a mix of screams of alarm and panic can be heard from within the port.
For those at the bridge, there's Ruth Bader Ginsberg. For those at the port there is Nanci Pelosi, and for those at the sewer (is there anyone even?) there's Dianne Feinstein.
>>37403Infernius was supposed to be at the sewer, but we can kill Fienstien after The Notorious RBG is semi-kill
>>37402Do you not want to play out the combat sequence?
>>37405
Why do you assume we are not going to kill the licks in combat? They need a chance to kill us, after all
>>37404Infernius left the sewer.
>>37403Can we start the charge soon?
>>37407I am aware. He should head back
>>37404I had planned to play it out a bit, as players are able. The biggest risk to players is human resources, reputation, and immediate adversary.
>>37405Thats the the thing about liches, you can kill the image/presence all you want and it'll b back in some days; one must kill the phylactery, also for swag.
>>37408Allyps, vargouilles, shadows, and other base undead lunge at Trump, each dying in rapid and often continuous succession when coinciding with Vandereium's abilities. Maintaining a perimeter is pretty easy. Trump can turn undead, say "Football" (1x/day) or move (incurring attacks of opportunity, aside from attacks or item use.
>>37410Well fuck me. Where is RBG relative to me? Where am I? Am I unmounted again?
>>37410Can't Tracy just fly over all of the grunts and charge straight for Ruth?
>>37413All three listed enemy types are flying...
>>37412High in the air, appearing as a dense dark cloud or fog, a disgusting mask of decayed flesh is stuck half-assedly out one side on a broom handle as a "recognizable face"
>>37414Fuck it. Trample Attack while attempting to Overrun them, while Trump keeps swinging his sword, and continue the charge. Tracy is Huge and has 31 Str, so she can Trample just about anything that doesn't choose to get out of her way.
>>37415Alright, is it possible to move forward without more than normal attacks? What about using the generals to shoot arrows to clear a path?
Can cute sex horse use the grape-shot type effect of the Trebuchet fire to clear a path?
Does daylight scare them away?
>>37416>>37415Um... Trumpaladin re-kills anything undead that comes in range
>>37419
It's not a weapon and it's not in range
Now should we use NPCs with range attacks to help clear the gap, proceed forward at risk, or use the holy word to clear a circle?
>>37420I meant Disarm, and a broom could count as a weapon.
Anyway, can Tracy knock the old "lady" off the broom with her 60 ft chain?
>>37417Yes, the trebuchet.<WHUDDDD> sounds off from the rear. "What are you aiming at? No seriously, what? The giant is meta-kill, what else is there?" Slovenia demands, showing visual cues that she had most enjoyed fing the toys. "Sound off targets!" her voice somehow cuts through the din of hundreds of undead spoops clamoring around.
>>37415To Fae
>"Second enemy wave appears to be proceeding from the same points of attack as the first. Send all combat personnel back to the walls, and engage via ranged attacks. You yourself shall engage in flying targets that come too close, or assist the ground troops">>37422"Target this dense horde of flying and grounded undead! It is absolutely impossible for you to miss. Target the mass between us and the cloud!"
>>37421>>37422And... My parents are making me eat dinner. Be back in a few minutes
Tracy is using her free-action smoke cloud every turn, btw.
>>37424Tracy continues plowing straight towards Ruth, crushing bones beneath her fiery hooves as she charges, reading her dancing chain to lash at the old caster once she gets withing 60 ft.
>>37424I too must eat. Not now, but soon. Go forth and nom good paladin. This part upcoming is where we take all the cards and resources we have been hiding/stashing/cultivating and throw them - almost literally - against the undead hoard context.
>>3742660 feet is one third of her charge speed. She gets that close, unless there are too many undead to make a charge, she really ought to charge
>>37428How many squares away is she?
[1d20 = 2]
As Tracy dashes forward, often leaving a ruined opponent in her wake, a shrivelled voice calls out from the darkened cloud with the stupid broom puppet-head sticking out. "Hold," it shrieks
>>37431How high-up is Tracy? It'll fucking suck if she drops Trump...
Tracy shrugs off, was that a compulsion attempt? Oh well, that dark cloud clearly needs to die cuz it sounds like spoopy talking.
>>37429She was more than one round away, but her dice roll side-stepped the efficacy of her action.
So Tracy hovers-ish across from Ruth Bader Ginsberg along(?) with,....
Thez and the Fight club secured aspects of the town, while Infernius observed the giant pile or poo divide and segment into a few dozen piles of poo, which quickly and angrily look at him.
>>37433>along(?) withTrump has been riding her the whole time.
>>37433>her dice roll side-stepped the efficacy of her actionDoes that mean she still has more rounds until she can attack with her chain?
>>37431The Horse Shoes of the Peerless steed, combined with the already high bonus from being a Paladin's mount or Cauchemar, make Tracy basically immune to compulsion spells even from God-tier spell casters.
>>37433All personel with ranged attacks - spartan, generals, and cute sex horse - who are not essential to hold the line, are to target undead between RBG and Trumpacy, as well as around them. Fae is to engage undead on the bridge, as reasonable to hold the line
>>37434Charge if possible. If not possible, I guess do ranged attacks, but you're in range of her spells, so you're basically waiting for her to kill us while we can't attack her with melee
"Get me closer. I want to hit her with my sword.
No really, almost all of our ways of harming her require us to get within ten feet. I could probably kill her in a single round with a buffed enough Paladin's lay of hands, but
I need to touch her"
>>37436Spirited Charge. Attempt to knock her off of her broom with the dancing chain once she gets within 60 ft.
>>37433Ready Attack with Vanderiem and Smite Evil when in range
>>37439
That might require a Concentration check, while riding at this rate point..
>>37440True. I went through a set of threads last night and discovered GM did not apply my Int modifier when calculating my Skill points, so I have more than realized that I can put into Ride and Concentration>>37441It's being visited by friendly undead senator Nancy Pelosi. See
>>37403\r
>>37442Can Torc drain the swamp?
>>37446More like get rid of these fuck ass zombie senators, but on a scale of 1 to "orbit of pluto" how far would draining the ocean launch my sides?
>>37449Uh... Target the senators if possible
>>37450Oh wait, why did I think you where GM?
I'm gonna wait and see what he says
>>37442Also, Don't use-up Death Ward. Cast Eagle's Splendor. You have high Char and Divine Grace. Save that Spell slot for Holy Sword to finish off the biggest boss.
>>37452Merry Christmas. >>37452easy now, I insisted on those buffs long ago
>>37453Good point on Death ward. Be advised it lasts 16 minutes though, so probably more than one encounter
I want to use eagle's splendor to buff a lay of hands attack though. How many more waves do you think are comming?
>>37453Tracy also has an odd numbered Dexterity score, meaning she gains +1 to her AC, +1 to her ranged attack score, and +1 to her chain attack score/rapier attack score if she gets the weapon finesse feat, if just one more point is allotted there
>>37452>Torc's charisma isn't odd>can't get a bonus to make fucking random things easierSad
>>37454What would drain the swamp do against the zombie senators?
>>37456I thought she had Finess by now? She was training to finess her chain this week in the holodeck.
>>37456Why did you want a Spell Resistance Cloak instead of a Cloak of Charisma? It would've been better for saves against spells.
>>37458It's been less than a day in game time since they came back from the hunting trip. And a lot of that has been spent talking or feeding birds or killing ponimaru [-]but not having sex reeeee and all the other things Tracy does in a day
>>37460Handling those huge birds should count towards Dodge training...
>>37459Because a cloak of charisma adds from +2 to +6 to a Cha score, whereas a Cloak of resistance adds from +1 to +6 to savings throws. Basically he could get the same bonus from a +3 resistance cloak as an epic tier cloak of charisma
>>37461Maybe. It's one solid week of training per feat though. Doesn't come cheap. I do know a few feats I want to give my Fae though...
>>37462>Basically he could get the same bonus from a +3 resistance cloak as an epic tier cloak of charismaYeah, so why not just go for higher Char, and use that bonus to also count towards Lay On Hands, Diplomacy, Leadership, etc? Tracy made one for him, but she just dyed it black and used it on herself after she saw he got another one.
>>37462>give my Fae thoughCan we just give feats to our animals? I thought it takes a year to train a magical beast to do one thing?
Can Tracy give feats to her birds?
>>37463Aww. That's sweetCan he's still use it for the Paladin's Lay of Hands attack? A +2 cloak would do 16 HP damage.
I think I asked for both a Cloak of Charisma and a Cloak of Resistance, so maybe both?
>>37463Well, Fae is a magical beast, which should help her. I'm going to try to advance her as much as GM will let me. There are Feats specific to monsters that Fae can take that I want for her
>>37463I believed and continue to believe that that Rapier of Puncture is perfect for Tracy. With the weapons Finesse feat, as well as the 5e version of the shape shifter's armor or a skillful placing of ability points, Tracy could have a +5 dexterity bonus to attack as well as the sword's +2 bonus for +7, besides the sword's special attack.
Apparently Infernius already promised the sword to someone else. But Tracy is a neutral evil thief. She doesn't give a shit about any promises to anyone, with the
possible exception of her betrothal, and she certainly wouldn't care for an agreement she wasn't party to.
>>37464>which should help herShouldn't it be the opposite? It takes a whole year to train a magical beast, while it only takes one week to train an animal. Animals may have low Int, but they're trained to exploit those slots much more easily than magical beasts; that's really the only excuse for giving them such low Int in the first place.
>>37466Fuck if I know. I just know I'm putting Fae in the holodeck and having her train towards a monster feat until GM tells me not to
>>37465>that Rapier of Puncture is perfect for TracyYeah, but it belongs to Darkie.
>She doesn't give a shit about any promises to anyoneTrue, but I'm not about to take my chance with stealing from the higher-level thief. I'll just murder other NPCs for their shit.
>>37467It also requires an Epic Check in Handle Animal. How many ranks did you put into that? Paladin's (and Blackguards) have that skill for the sake of training their horses, which only require a 15-20 DC to train.
>>37468Oh fuck off. Do you want to tell me how you're keeping animals exactly? You don't get an animal companion, you don't get a familiar, and it's only GM haxxor that's letting you get not one but
two animals that are not mere animals
But giant fucking animals that should eat Tracy, not listen to herNow let me advance my NPC mount the way you normally advance an NPC
>It belongs to DarkieAre you playing a lawful Good character? If yes, then please cut the "kill the unicorn" bullshit. If no, then please stop being a hypocrite and moralizing
>Not taking a chance with a higher level thiefThen will you please make Tracy not take her chances against a higher level Wizard, a Higher level Cleric, and possibly a god-level monk while trying to kill a demi-god unicorn?
\r
>>37469>higher level wizardTechinacally Torc is lvl 16 too.
>>37470The point is that the odds of success of Tracy against the entire party at once is much lower than Tracy versus Darkemeter
>>37469>You don't get an animal companionAnimal Companions are special NPCs, like Paladins's mounts.
You can own/train as many creatures as you have time to Handle, although it takes time to manage them. Rearing them from birth makes it easier.
I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I'm just wondering if that'll work, since I'll gladly jump on that opportunity if it's allowed.
>tfw Rocs count as AnimalsIf I can give these birdies feats, I'll buff them into gods.
>>37471When did she say she was fighting the entire party?
>>37472I call SamWell, the Holodeck I think requires an intelligent creature. Birds could be trained, but probably can't train themselves
>Entire Party at onceInfernius always white knights, always, and now Torcuil is joining the mix
Thank you Torcuil, she deserves someone to fight for her. I'll believe that Tracy can fight Torcuil, snek, and Trollestia all at once and win if Trumpaladin and Fae are fighting on her side, but throw in Infernius and it's no longer a fair fight.
She'd be much smarter to give it up, to delay a week, or to make a deal
>>37472Well, I have been
sadly, and unintntionally projecting myself a bit on the Troll/Torc relations.
I didn't really understand the point at first, so I blew it off. In reality, Troll has shown
if a somewhat strange and perverted affection for Torc. This would lead the hermity old Torc to fall head over heels for Troll, because of his solitary background.
>>37474TLDR, I've been fucking up my RPing
>>37474>HolodeckCan feats be acquired outside the Holodeck? Some feats feel better off being acquired on the road.
>make a dealThat's literal cuckoldry. Also, didn't I say she was irrationally angry in character?
I don't like spoiling character intentions through meta.. Let her get there first.
>>37475Torc doesn't know that Troll cheated on him too though.We'll get to that point later. Discussing it now just spoils shit. Let's kill these liches first.
Is GM here?
>>37476>Outside of the holodeckI would say yes, but the point is that it takes a literal 40 to 100 hours of doing something in order to get the feat. It's not super cheap, it's just obtainable
>Literal cuckholdryHow is that literal Cuckholdry? As I understand the meaning of the term, it means "a person whose partner has had sex with someone else besides the person while in the relationship." No one is having sex in most possible deals, so where is the cukholdry?
>Let her get there firstYou know he'll try to talk her down long before she gets there, right?
>>37475Nevermind the romantic aspect. If a demi-god unicorn agrees to be your "steed and ally," you say yes
>>37477Yes he does. The character talked to Tracy after Tracy found out. Also, Torcuil cheated on Trollestia
>>37478>where is the cukholdry?Cuckoldry involves consent or inaction of the other partner, otherwise it's NTR.