With Nuts of course.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, Hearths Warming, or some other degenerate (Kwanza) or (((unspoken))) tradition, I hope you have a safe and 'as happy as possible' holiday season as you no doubt maneuver in and out of the world of normies and others!
I have no idea if any crucial gaming will occur weekend, but its about to get funky-fresh on several fronts. We last left Torcuil trying to navigate through Krenshal for someone skilled and crazy enough to build a Robo-ponk. Trumpaladin and Tracy were getting their things together to hunt a Unicorn with Elway's blessing and direction. Thez is being a little bit emo (its the hormones) while Infernius continues being a dutiful and upstanding guy.
What will happen next, and in what order? Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!
1162 replies and 131 files omitted.
>>36860Ah, I understand. Go ahead and say it can't be done, idc"That'sunderstandable,canIcheckbackinabout, ohsayanhour?"
>>36862And where is Tracy positioned?
Consider the area around the stables looking ish like so. To converse, Trump would have to be in the open to her, and I'm assuming he's approaching.
>>36867Trump has positioned himself as between troll and the exit as possible
>>36867She's hidden just around the corner, in range for a Sneak Attack, her alignment magically concealed.
Thez comes out of ethereal in the center of the hallway, drawing Trollestia's attention, as well as Trump and Tracy's.
"Fuck."
>>36870"OH COME ON! You decide to show up finally and it's now and here!"
>>36870Tracy ignores Thez, and Makes her triple Sneak Attack while Troll's attention is divered with two Been-edged bane daggers and her sword.
>>36872Thez has a weird look in her eye. "You've got assassins, yes? You should call them.
>>36874Well, you guys wanted to get up out of the Court City, Thez said "they'll be back", and its far easier for me to wage an epic-scale conflict when all the party's general and human resources are on hand. ^_^
>>36864Incase you didn't pick up, I wanna get Torc to the tower
>>36875Roll the dice or it doesn't count
>"No! Abandon plan!" >>36876Can I'z mount Troll?
Trumpaladin backs away and slips out of the room
>>36880What was that? The fortitude for the Death attacks or the Reflex for the Sneak Attacks?
>>36876I TRIED to bring her last time, but SOMEONE said something about her being unsubtle
Remember, those aren't attack rolls, those are saving throws. Trollestia takes a long-swipe up the side of her neck, while getting stabbed through the chest-plate (not ALL the way through her but most of the way) while another dagger disembowels her in sudoku-like efficiency.
I don't even need to roll the dice on that one. Trollestia is kill. And then, Trollestia changes shape and form, and a very-murdered and partially dissected Ponimaru lies on the ground in front of Tracy.
>>36887Goddamn it. Fuck you Thez. Fuck you.
>>36887REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I used Detect Good for exactly this reason. Does Ponimaru have an aura?
"Faust almighty! Where is she?!"
*assumes monstrous shape*
>>36889"I can't be here right now. Stand aside"
[3d20 = 40]>>36887"oh no ponimaru!"
*draws sword pushes trump out of the way.*
"tracy what have you done?!"
slash slash slash
>>36892>>36891>>36887Nevermind. I misread that scene. Trumpaladin says "clever girl" and leaves the room
>>36891Oh relax, its far more complicated than you think.
>>36892Yes, Ponimaru is good, and in this case was polymorphed to appear as Trollestia in exchange for a previous favor she did for him. Meta, so no immediate responses, just shock and awe.
>>36894Already? You're attacking?
[4d20 = 51]>>36894"LEAVE TRACY ALONE!"
Quick draw Vanderien. draw ring shield.
Slash Infernious
>>36894Pushing Trump should require its own action, shouldn't it?
Does she get an Attack of opportunity?
>>36887"What did I tell you about being a white-knight?!"
*shoves body in the bag and disappears into the Ethereal plane*
>>36898"I don't know lad, I dunna like this situation a tall!" Vandereim says.
So Infernius has first declared action. In this sense, he is
taking initiative (decisive first move). Everyone else rolls for initiative, behind his stated move.
"I'llbebacksoon,Iwanttogocheckonmyfriends."
Torc teleports to the Tower after grabbing some food.
Hearing noises in the stable he heads that way and walks in.
"I got....
Food..."
Gif related
>>36900You can get the body or you can jaunt. You cannot do both in the same round. Pick one
>>36902Gif didn't attach, and won't fucking attach
>>36903Did she take that hit, or did Infernius fail to push Trump to the side?
If she's not wounded, she puts the body in the bag, if she 's hurt, she jaunts.
"What the fuck are you wankstains doing?"
>>36900Tracy is greeted by a looming ring of very tall and very evil undead. Some with cages for torsos, inside which lie little grasping forms with hollowed-out glowing eyes, faces seeming to shriek with no words coming out, others seem a slender representation of the night its self, with sinister eyes being the only apparent distinction about them. Myriad forms swirl about, of a variety of forms and shapes and appearances, all held back meekly by a silly hat with a charm attached that Tracy gave Thez one time, with a piece of string about 60'diameter chalked out. The circle represents a position on a sphere which though not represented can be observed by all sorts of ghoulish nastiness piling on top of and along an invisible barrier.
>>36906He has insane strength. That round of attacks would kill her I think
[1d20 = 13]
Rolling initiative.
[1d20 = 3]Ah fucking hell, why did Torc teleport back?
>>36908"WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LIVING FUCK?!"
I guess initiative
>>36912>3>fucking 3Torc is going last, isn't he?
>>36911She says that out loud.
>>36908>barrierI'm confused. Is it keeping them out or holding her in?
>>36914Keeping them out. Now go to a nearby room, enter the material plane, go to Flashy so he can heal you, mount you, and the two can flee to Mexico
>>36915She does this.
Then she flies off with him to the forest which is still on fore, frothing at the mouth.
Trumpaladin uses his dimension door helm to go to a room in the tower on a different floor, then calls Tracy as mount
>>36894Alright, so the 16 and the 19 would have hit, but drawing a sword is a move action without the requisite feat, meaning Infernius could charge
and draw his weapon, or he could attack w/ fists. Since he's unarmed, he could attempt a grapple for both without drawing an attack of opportunity, having
ahem grappled with Thez on so many occasions.
>>36904K, you got a 20 so I'll put you in second.
At the last moment, Vandereim veers off of course, causing a miss. "Lad, this doesn't seem anything like ye. and I doont know if I can be a part of it."
>>36903No, I'll allow both.
>>36912>3Kek
>>36914Them out, but its very weak and obviously improvised.
Thez takes a deep breath, while from the entrance an emerging Gestapo specialist enters and yells out in unison. "We're under attack,"/"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!!"
>>36918Adm. Torc yells at the specialist "By fucking WHAT MAN?"
Torc throws snek staff and wraps Mr. Snek around him, then draws both pistols.
>>36918To Vanderiem:
"No, I don't want any part of this, but Tracy expects things from me. She expects me to attack her attackers when she is attacked"
>>36916Hold on tiger, you used up your move gathering the body and going ethereal where there's the pile of undead.
Thez <shoooomp> meshes in and gestures.
"I don't know how long the seal I put up will hold them, but there they are. I don't know why they're there, but I doubt its a random occurrence, and this guy back here (meaning material) seems to have more information."
>>36918Let's say that Trumpaladin Dimension doors out of the scene, and calls Tracy in the new room
>>36921"The dead!" the man says, not fearfully but desperately. "Legions"
>>36923[angry monster noises]
>>36924Stay there faggot. Don't make her use-up a turn finding him.
>>36925"Legions?"
Torc turns to Thez looking for an explanation
"The fuck are legions?"
>>36921Too late faggot, is he beating/grappeling or is he drawing a weapon and smash?
>>36926"She made the little weeb take the hit for her. I don't believe it!"
[furious nightmare noises]
>>36926And get attacked by Infernius or Thez? No way in hell hes staying behind after being caught. Not a chance in hell. Not even for an invasion. He'd dimension door to a room, call Tracy, heal her, call Fae and ask her what is going on, and then go to the monestary to fetch his soldiers and figure out what to do from there. Also, Tracy could be killed by Infernius if she reappeared in that room. She should appear in a different room
GM, is there anyway Torc cpuld get Troll to show up?
>>36930Just move outside the stables.
>>36931Yeah fuck you he's gone before your move
>>36932[bloodthirsty nightmare noises]
>>36933Infernius would grapple. No. That's stupid
>>36936>>36936He's not going to grapple after the Gestapo show up. Stay there.
[Furious nightmare noises]
>>36927"Imagine being surrounded on all sides, on 3 dimensions instead of 2 (spherical geometry) and you've got an idea. The ethreal plane should be considered compromised,"
>>36932Oh she's outside the tower, and she's going full alicorn. She's pissed.
So with Infernius grappling, Tracy needs to roll 2 d20 saving throws.
[1d20 = 8]>>36937Grapple gives an attack of opportunity. Draw suigoto and attack of opportunity
Then fucking flash step the hell out of there
>>36940Why you attack the healer when meta reveals the undead are attacking? It doesn't stop the grapple either.
>>36939>legion"Welp, that sucks ass."
Torc heads outside to see how this is going down. What he see?
>>36939so we are surrounded on multiple planes?
>>36941BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO AVOID GETTING KILLED! THE UNDEAD CAN WAIT UNTIL HE IS SAFE
[2d20 = 18]>>36939Can she escape grapple with her escape artist check? She has 5 ranks in it.
>>36944Relax. He's not getting killed.
>>36941The attack of opportunity does. He has a +16 base, a +5 strength, +3 suigoto and rolled an 8 against Infernius's 17 AC, which means the attack landed and did damage, so the grapple fails
>The dead always act as heralds of Legion's coming. In places of great death and destruction, where the dead are not buried, burned, or respected.
Well fuck................
>>36939Wait, how did he grapple herwhile she was ethereal?
>>36946Stop attacking PCs. We've got more important shit.
>>36943"Eyyyuup."
>>36942The port is surrounded by a ring of darkness. Its not pure darkness like on the ethereal plane, its a scorched and empty decayed sort of darkness. Much is zombified, others are skeletal. Some aren't even specific creatures, they're just a collection of bones that happens to make a weird distorted bone murder shape. Its as though the collective natural deposits of the land have been animated to emerge and combine.
>>36945He's spooked. Trollestia should have known about the plan ahead of time because he told her, but Infernius and Thez should not have been there. He's running the fuck away until he's in a safe spot, then he'll figure out what the fuck to do from there
>>36948Nigger that's him fucking fleeing
>>36949>doot doot"TROLL, CAN I GET A LIFT?"
>>36949i rush outside on uatchit.
Call Fae. Ask her what the hell that guy meant by "invasion"
>>36950He's the Paladin. Paladins don't run.
>>36949Can Tracy go outside?
Where is Trollestia?
>>36955It's a tactical withdrawal
>>36957Fuck you nigger. And leave my waifu alone
>>36958fuck you this is all your fault faggot.
>>36953She <whoooof> grabs onto Uatchit's underside.
>>36955There's a radiant rainbow presence above the Tower that is shooting beams of light into the intermittent encroachment of arial undead, if thats what you're askying.
>>36956Do what you want...
>>36958>>36959Fight the zombies first, faggots.
>>36960Can Tracy get a closer look from a distance?
>>36950>Trollestia should have known about the plan ahead of time because he told her[angry nerd noises]
>>36963Oh hush. Killing Trollestia is a massive overreaction. And then killing Tracy over a damned non-magical horse is an even bigger overreaction
>>36965Tracy should t even know. She's on the ethereal plane and left before anyone mentioned the zombie invasion
>>36964*goes to him and helps him on*
[angry nightmare noises]
She says something through EM link, but it's just incoherent monster ravings. She's absolutely rabid that she was fooled.
>>36966overreacton? you knew she would do it.
>>36959Thez reaches up and grabs Infernies for a moment. With a gesture she conveys that its going to suck, but will probably be okay,... maybe. She lets go of Uatchit and falls about (however many feet) into a huge wave of undead forms and starts mobbin'.
"I gotta mow the lawn!" can be heard as she falls away.
>>36969Thats a good point and nice dub 69's
Trump, what where you planning?
>>36970Does Troll give Torc a lift?
>>36968I'm the course of several rounds
Heal serous wounds on Tracy
Puts hands on Tracy (paladin's lay of hands) to calm her and heal her)
Calls Fae
asks Fae what the fuck is going on
>>36969>>36971No, I have no idea how she responds to things, and frankly she should never have known since she was away when it happened
>>36972>serous woundsHow many Lay on Hands do you have left?
>>36974Fine. Heal mount. He doesn't know it's undead attacking, he just knows that Tracy is almost dead
>>36973she has the scent abilty. she could smell it. and bullshit you knew you just didnt care.
>>36970"BE CAREFUL!!"
GM what level is Torc? 15 or 16?
Also, I need a rough estimation of how many undead are in the area.
>>36975Sjhe would've immediately told him about the Spooky Scary Skeletons.
>>36976This
>>36969From his elevated position, Infernius can determine that there are three main points of possible entry; the Docks, the Main Gates, and the Sewers. Each area would require the attendance of one faction (the Gestapo, the Generals, etc.) and one character. This will require a bit of splitting up.
>>3697716
The whole town is covered in zombies.
>>36980Surrounded, not covered. And there's skeletons and ghouls and ghasts and wights and other shits also
>>36976I don't fucking know, it just seemed like an opportunity so I took it
>scent abilityNo. I had no idea Tracy's faggot would claim to smell in it in the stables
>>36979SEE
>>36971>>36980I can work with lvl 16
>>36979I guess Torc takes the docks.
"TROLL, WANNA GO FIGHT AT THE DOCKS AGAIN?"
>>36981Where are Tracy and Trump atm?
Tracy is still rabid, furious about what just happened.
All of this happens while I am on a phone in a social situation an hour away from home. Fuck me
>>36983whatever im tired of arguing.
lets save port barry from communist zombies.
>>36985He would be in his room until he's healed, then call Fae to him, and then go either to the monestary to get troops or to wherever the troops have deployed themselves, and then get to killing. Or make Fae get the mean and go straight to the killing
>>36988He's on her back, right?
Tracy flies outside, still seething with rage.
[frumious nightmare noises]
"Where is she?!"
Detect Good
>>36984Trollestia spins into a dive toward the docks "So long as parties can avoid killing me, lets tend to business."
>>36986Sorry dude
>>36987Thez is murdering rampantly, but she can only take down 12 enemies per round, and there's literally thousands. It would take days.
>>36991"We were set up. Thez and Infernius should never have intervened. Situation's compromised. Anyways, I think we have a bigger problem right now. A guard said something about an invasion. I think there's an attack. And fuck me this is a terrible fucking time for an attack"
[3d20 = 24]>>36992i land at the main gate and start fighting.
how many are my men are there?
>>36993*rears*
"WHERE IS SHE?!"
She's beside herself with rage.
>>36993"What a convenient time for an attack"
said no one ever
>>36994>meleeUse your Mass Heal spells. You could kill like 16 undead per turn that way.
>>36992Trumpaladin directs Fae to gather the men to fight at strong points, or fight a rearguard action if civilians can or need to be evacuated to any citadel like position
He tries to direct Tracy to attack anywhere the undead are near civilians
And Trumpaladin's faggot is designated driver again
>>36997I can't check the D&D wiki and this thread and drive at the same time
>>36992"Aye-aye ma'am"
Torc heads towards the dock ready to cast a very good spell.
>>36996Has Tracy spotted Troll yet?
>>37002What are we going to do then?
>>36995Bee-line and rainbow-streaking toward the docks.
>>36994"Only a handful sir, the rest r scattered throughout the town at varying rally-points."
>>37004Where are the undead? We fight the undead on the way to the monestary
Is the forest still on fire?
[16d4 = 46]http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Undeath_to_DeathThis should fucking help at the docks.
Rollin 16d4
>>37005"send word tell them to fight way over here."
*cure serous wounds mass*
>>37006The undead are being repelled by the city walls except at the docks (tended by Torcuil and Trollestia), the Main Gates (unattended) and the Sewers (unattended)
>>37005GM
1. Where are the undead
2. Where is trumps personal army
3. Where is Fae
>>37010Direct Geberajs and Spartans tabs Fae the gate. Direct Tracy and self to sewers
[3d20 = 37]>>37006Fuck it then.
Tracy swears on her mother's grave to finish off Troll once the battle is over and she's used up her spells, and begins mowing down undead creatures near the main gates in a whirling fury, using her sword.
>pic semi-relatedRolling for first round of attacks.
>>37011"The Generals seem to have secured the stadium in the name of Football, where the word of John Elway who is himself football and is also the Denver Broncos and who's word has been heard by Trump and therefore conveyed to the team (because he's all about a strong team) the stadium is secure." says some random guy enthusiastically.
>>37013She has Great Cleave, can she attack again?
K So now Tracy and Infernius are attending the Main gates. Thez is wading through the hoardes. Troll/Torc are going to the docks, who is going to the sewer? > Thinks Infernius
[4d20 = 40]>>37014Is this a fallback position or no? Send them to the gates or walls if it usnt a citadel
Rolling because Tracy's favor is
>>37017Goddamnit Tracy and trump are ridding. She's mounted. He's mounting her. They go to the one place it covered , wich is the sewers
[3d20 = 42]>>37020Sewers don't sound suited for mounted combat.
Rolling second line of attacks because Great Cleave.
>>37020>>37021you guys can have the gate ill take the sewers.
While waiting for a responce to
>>37008Does Torc being lvl16 mean lvl8 spells now?
>>37019>stadium, fall-backYes, for both channeling citizens and civillians and preventing forces from assailing.
>>37020So Infernius is alone at the gate, Troll/Torc are in the docks, and Trump/Tracy are in the sewers? Thez is messy with gore and bits, she could pass as a zombie if she'd slow down and stop murdering. but she's got her staff out and she doesn't show sign of slowing. "I don't think this is an attack force." she shouts at some point. "They seem kinda weak and squishy."
>>37021I am driving. There is no way at all I can figure out I mounted combats. Go to the fucking series mounted
To Tracy "go to the ducking seerss"
>>37024im going to the sewers they can have the gate.
[3d20 = 28]>>37027"I'm going to kill that bitch!"
Another round of attacks as she makes her way towards the ducking seerss
"If it's the last thing I do!"
I can't roll or play right now. I won't be able to for 30 or more minutes. Just say Trumpaladin stats mounted on Tracy and swings at whatever enemies come near him. Some one do my rolls for me
So now Trump is going to the ducking seerss, followed by Infernius, leaving the front gate wide open and the docks still well tended by Torc/Troll. I assume Tracy is with Trump? And where are the human resources? The Gestapo is placed throughout the city, so can't be directed, and the Generals are at the stadium. The Fight Club is active, but location unknown.
>>37029We're back at the gates, Infernius is taking the sewers
You try spelling everything right typing while driving down a highway at 60
>>37030Don't worry, I'm just setting up storyline diversions and independent actions affecting a grander scale. We can wait.
[3d20 = 26]>>37033Shitposting while driving kills. Don't do it.
It'll be fine, just be ready to kill the unicorn by the end of the night.
>>37029Cleaving
[3d20 = 37]>>37035Can she cleave again?
Tracy releases her chain and lets it dance.
>>37035You're not that far, I'm just determining who is fighting what. The sewer is one set of encounters, the dock is another, and the main gate is the third.
>has no idea wtf is happening
>>37039Where is Tracy? At the gates?
>>37039ill direct my men to tell the gestapo to get to the sewers as fast as possible.
trump is riding Tracy at the main gates and slashing enemies
>>37040The party is at a splitting point, to do with geographical characteristics of the port and the circumstances. I'm a little fuzzy on who is ending up where so its still up in the air.
>>37044Does Torc's undeath to death do anything?
Also, what level spells can Torc use?
>>37043K, Main Gates, got it. That's a good choice.
>>37042Gestapo to sewers, confirmed. Is Infernius also?
>>37045Just keep throwing out memes.
>>37047Do dead memes do extra damage against undead?
>>37049We'll decide when we see them.
*is slashing her way through zombie*
"I did not *stab* need this tonight! Now the forest is going to burn to the ground before we get a move on."
>>37052Oh snap. From nowhere there were frogs of all different varieties and armaments. Its a good thing Torcuil went to the docks too.
>>37054you should summon a Zombie killing pepe
[2d20 = 13]>>37055"GO MY GLORIOUS FROGS, KILL THE UNDEAD!"
Torc makes 2 shots at the closest undead
>>37057Don't forget to have Snek defend you.
And the bard frogs begin to play, hoping to boost moral
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XkkvC3D_srM>>37057>3AGAIN?
>>37058I won't
When does the encounter start?
Tracy looses her chain and lets it dance.
>>37060Noted, waiting on Trump mostly
Tracy is still slashing zombies, scorching the earth as she prowls the battlefield.
...And in the distance, the forest where she intended to fight Troll burns to the ground without her there...
>>37062ah i remember the great meme war.
>>37065Ahh yes, where did you guys get deployed?
>>37065T'was great meme war indeed.