With Nuts of course.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule, Hearths Warming, or some other degenerate (Kwanza) or (((unspoken))) tradition, I hope you have a safe and 'as happy as possible' holiday season as you no doubt maneuver in and out of the world of normies and others!
I have no idea if any crucial gaming will occur weekend, but its about to get funky-fresh on several fronts. We last left Torcuil trying to navigate through Krenshal for someone skilled and crazy enough to build a Robo-ponk. Trumpaladin and Tracy were getting their things together to hunt a Unicorn with Elway's blessing and direction. Thez is being a little bit emo (its the hormones) while Infernius continues being a dutiful and upstanding guy.
What will happen next, and in what order? Will the players defy GM's careful designs for the umpteenth time? You can bet on that!
1200 replies and 135 files omitted.
>>37968No. I HAD negotiated for the return of the unicorn that previous sunday. Then it changed on me. Then you used your bullshit etherealness to get out of my character's hands when I had specifically prepared for that, and then you begged GM to let you get the Unicorn when you should have been seen and heard by the guards.
>Holy wordI'd rather not have it. Fuck your outsider bullshit
Can Tracy make Sneak Attacks with her chain? It's a piercing weapon.
>>37969>name 1 infernuis memeprotip infernuis worst character.
>>37971Sneak attacks are limited to a range of 30 feet. So yes, if 30 feet or less, and no if more than 30 feet
>>37967Seriously, thank you. I'd much rather players literally/figuratively started attacking one another with melee weapons (or non melee weapons)
>>37972Ooooh! How about the time Infernius wanted to roll to see if he got to the ground from the tower!?
>>37972Infernius is cute and funny though.
>>37973That limitation goes for ranged attacks, the chain is melee.
The real question would be whether or not dancing weapons can be used for Sneak attacks.
>>37974>How about the time Infernius wanted to roll to see if he got to the ground from the towerI was just thinking about that one.
Also:
>Rolling for dick size >>37976The Dice gods hate Infernius for some reason
>>37977You roll for a number of things that you really shouldn't roll for. There's danger in the dice
>>37977Are you KIDDING? That was one of the memes that set everything off! That was one of the moments where suddenly "Oh, its not just a bunch of rules, we can just improvise" became the MO. Sorry, but aside from the dice gods (they do hate him for some reason) that is one of my favorite moments.
>>37966>>37968>next boss fight>We've almost been beat and we're on the retreat>idea.memetome>"Yo Infenius, cut my leg off">screaming>replace it with shitty wooden leg>I'll get some dwarves make a mechanical one later>Sacrifce leg to death for a booty call>fuck death >death kills boss for me>>37977How about the time you failed the stealth check to shit in Torc's robe, and then rolled me a nat20 to attack while I was gone
>>37980>Infernius beats up InferniusTHIS
>Sacrificing leg to death for booty callJust beat her to death with the severed leg, take her scythe, and then kill the boss iwth the scythe after a sword fight sequence
>>37980>rolled me a nat20 to attack while I was goneTHAT was hilarious.
Also, remember when Torc rolled for a control check on that leprechaun flight (as if he could control it in the first place), and then rocketed off into nowhere?
>>37982>beat her to death with the severed leg, take her scytheIs that how you'd treat a lady?
Torc is a true gentleman, underneath that mountain of spaghetti.
>>37984>Too gentlemanly to bludgeon a woman to deathIt's the current year. Don't be a sexist. Women can be bludgeoned to death severed body parts just as surely as men
>>37986I just want Torcuil to take the scythe and have a Brave heart charge with it
>>37981Omae wa mou shindiru>>37983That was great
>>37982B-but Torc wants to sex her again.
She taught him the true meaning of "la petite mort"
>bred is mold >>37987>Brave Heart ChargeBetter off with his Claymore, desu.
Also, I like Death as a character.
Alright, here's my digs.
I like everybody. I like individual aspects about characters, and I like group elements too. I like it when characters can/do pull a fast one on others, and I like it equally when everyone says "Lets murder this bitch" and makes like meat-tenderizers.
>>37987Oh please, now you're gonna suggest that a woman who's been taught how to be bludgeoned to death can be nearly as effective as a trained individual who has been bludgeoned to death for literally years.
>>37988Inb4 Death Selectively kills his penis
Talk to your waifu
>>37991Que?
What I'm getting at is that I don't know how to shift or waver. I could favor the party, or I could favor the individual. So far I've done both. I won't claim my decisions have been 'correct' nor have they necessarily been "best". They have been - in the moment - sincere. and I hope that means as much on paper as it does thinking/dictating it.
>>37996Death would've had more experience.
>>37997With sex? First off, you're comparing her to
Taylor Swift. Second, she's kind of old, has a wierd job, and probably cloaks herself under what is basically a Burka for a reason. She's pretty isolated. that's probably why she wanted Torcuil.
\r
>>37992Dlete dis
>>37994"Ayy bby u wnt sme fuk? I got yellow, bitches love yellow"
>>37996Reeeee
>>37998I don't like Taylor Swift
>>37999"You,... just won't stop will you?"
She says through astonished, marvelled, and compromised words.
>>38001>I don't like Taylor SwiftNor does my character want to be chained to a serial killer. Yet here we are. Now go talk to your waifus
>>38003I know right
>>38003"me never stop. me love you too much."
>>38004I meant in and out of game
I can barely fucking poat
Help.
Um... Can we post more on the main board? An anon is talking about how mlpol is dying and "heat death seems innevitable." I know Tracy's faggot used to make like 100 posts a day, and then stopped after these threads became a thing. I've mostly stopped posting, and Infernius has mostly stopped posting... Let's give the main board some love
>>38009(User gas veeb9 yb-unpoat fir tgus post)
>>38010Aww....
*Pets horsey*
"Pls be selective about who you stab though"
>>38013"You don't regret marrying me, do you, Flashy..?'
>>38012Sir, are you having a stroke?
>>38011I try but
>I usally have nothing to add>posting is harder without a PC >>38011there havent been any threads recently that have peaked my interest.
>>38017I used to steal threads from 8chins, but I haven't recently...
>>38016>>38011Not sure the post ur on about, but you are right. We need to be more prolific. Maybe not as "participants" in game or outside, but we
are staples of Mlpol,....
>>38016Not a stroke, no,... sadly,....
Instead, a series of ideas, largely dependent on uncontrived responses to the stimuli provided. ^_^
>>38016>Sir, are you having a stroke?i feel bad for laughing at this.
>>38020You should, so bad. Having the thinkings of ouside with the tanks. Surely you must realize the lamps that endeavor to fluity toot leftwise to the apple?
>>38015"I don't regret engaging you. Not yet anyways. I didn't know you wanted the arrangement to be
exclusive, though. That part came as a shock to me"
>>38022Surprise serious moment,...Oh fug it all. I know this is hard, and it takes more (TRUST ME I KNOW) than you may have expected, but seriously,... don't run off now, K?
>>38022"Traditional marriage is important..."
"Flashy.. in a few months, I'm probably going to be too bloated to fight the way I used to... I want us to move in to our own place together and settle down to raise our family before then.. Is that alright with you?"
>>38013doing the political simulator now.
>>38025"Is that place a glistening steel and glass castle at the center of New Austin - formerly known as the Court City?"
>>38027"...Is that what you really want? I just want to raise our foal peacefully, but I'm fine if you're a bit more ambitious."
>>38024What should I not be running off from?
>>38028Yet
I know it's not a great city to name it after, but if you say the name aloud, it sounds better than most>>38029"I want to leave something behind for him"
>>38034"I'm sure we'll manage no matter how we do, if we at least have a peaceful place to raise our foal."
>himDon't get ahead of yourself. We haven't rolled for gender yet.
>>38035Let's do it then. We can have a giant statue of Atlas in the center.
>>38036"Do you intend to let him live a normal life and mingle with the other children?"
>implying he wouldn't keep trying until he had a male >>38037The castle is in the absolute center of New Austin, but the statue can go in front of it
>>38038"Iintend to give our fial all I can, although I haven't seen very many other ponies in this world.. it makes me wonder how our foal would fit in.."
>That implication"I'll give you more than 30 foals, if that's what it takes Flashy. Let's start our own herd with just the two of us."
>>38039new austin not atlas-lantis?
>>38040"Why, he'll fit in with all of the other humans of course"
>herd*strange look*
"If you're trying to scare me off, I refuse to use a condom"
>>38039Atlas is Axis Mundi: he must be in the center.
Also, putting you case in the center will attract tourists and other unwanted crap at your doorstep. Better to have a mansion on a nearby mountain mountain.
>>38041That's kind of a mouthful. If it were like "Atlasia" it would be easier to say
>>38042"...What if our foal isn't hoo-man?"
>scareShe's serious, and she'll poke holes in all of his condoms.
>>38043>He'd be in the center of attention if he did that, so he shouldn't do thatI don't think you understand my character
>>38046Tracy wants a nice open track of land in the back though.
>>38045>Foal isn't humanHe hasn't thought through the implications of race mixing
"Of course he'll be human"
"Do you want multiple children? We can avoid pregnancy just by practicing sex differently. Or you know, by not having it."
>>38047Don't worry, there will be a large park and greenery
>>38048"What if our baby is a pony, or.. something else..?"
>>38050"Something else? Come again?"
>>38051[concerned pony noises]
"... Well, I'm not entirely sure how breeding works, but I don't know what created by the live between a man and a mare... I wasn't entirely pony the day we conceived either..."
>>38052"Only something beautiful can be produced by s love so pure. And Elway won't let Jew blood contaminate my prince. I hope"
*pets horsey*
>>38054"You'd love our foal all the same whatever the case, right?"
>>38055*pets horsey nervously*
*is unable to answer the question*
>>38057"W - What kind of cases are we talking about here?"
>>38059"Literally anything. You'd love our foal no matter what, RIGHT?!"
>>38060"Fae said some things about our child in the prophecy. I trust Fae. She's a smart kitty. I can love the child she spoke of"
>>38061[stressed pony noises]
"And if things didn't go how you expected, you'd still love our family anyway, right?!"
*desperate panting*
>>38062"We can make a family worth loving, don't you worry. We
will make a family worth loving. Fae's insight has not failed me yet. Yes, of course I can love him and you. I will love him and you and us as a family"
>>38063"But, you'd still love our family even if it somehow went the other way, right?"
*heavy breathing*
>>38064"I'll try to, I'll try. But let me ask you this. Would
you still love me if I failed you?"
>>38065"Wh-what do you mean by f-fail? I've always loved you. I always will."
>try[disturbed, unsettled pony noises]
>>38066"I mean if I fail to be the knight in shining armor you want me to be. Or that you need me to be. You know, like I did three nights ago..."
>>38067"You don't need to be a white-knight to impress me, Flashy."
*twitches at kick from within*
"Just promise me you'll love our family without condition."
>>38068"Oh I'll
love him. How can I not love my own blood? Just the same as I cannot but love you. But he may break my heart, just as you might"
>>38069"No matter what happens, I'll always love my new family. I don't care about any heartbreak later, but what's growing in me right now."
*Faggot goes to sleep*
>>38070*pets horsey*
Goodnight Tracy's faggot. Hopefully I'll piss you off less tomorrow
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>>38072Get that bitch a stick, bitches love sticks.
Did the party get a good look of the layout of the Court City when they rescued Infernius?
>>38075Aww, too bad. If they had moar info, it'd be a great mission to sneak in and destroy those lich phylacteries, some day.
>>38076>mission to sneak in and destroy those lich phylacheteriesAs soon as the main army is repelled or partly destroyed, we're calling Baz, resurrecting the Pirates to use as mercenaries, and then launching a full frontal assault on the Court City before the lichs revive
>>38077>full frontalWouldn't the lichs be able to transport their phylacteries if they sensed an assault on the capital? As to my knowledge, they could manifest next to their treasures, and the just teleport out.
>>38078Not if they are killed in the attack on Port Barry
>>38079>if they are killed in the attack on Port BarryThat's not how liches work. They ONLY go away once their phylacteries are destroyed. After we kill Ruth, she'll just turn to dust, manifest in her room where her phylactery is, and immediately start planning the next attack. A lich is invincible so long as its phylactery exists in the world.
>>38080No, they don't revive until d10 days after they are killed
>>38081I know that. They still need to have their phylacteries destroyed to go away permanently. It could also take a week to move an entire army to the capital.
>>38082Then let's do it. A combined Port Barry/Sparintenar/mercenary army assaults the city, while several of the players go directly inside, similar to last time, to kill off and destroy more important targets.
>>38083Did Spartintar agree to attack the capital yet? I didn't read into that part very much.
>>38084No, not yet. Baz said that Sparintenar has been preparing to assault the Court City head on for years though. Just explain the situation, offer agreeable terms for the peace, and Sparintenar will be willing to strike while the iron is hot
>>38074Only part of it. The party went one of 3 main routes.
>>38086Were they able to make note of any interesting chambers beyond the blood-harvesting room?
>>38087Not especially. The whole place was complete disorder, shifting from industrial technology to raw caves, to worked stone. It rather bore the resemblance of several cities or structures mashed together at random.
>>37854Now that I look at it, there really aren't that many Neutral Ebil Outsiders in 3.5e. Hags and Nightmares are the two most powerful fiends of that alignment. No mention of yugoloths in that edition either.
>>38088Sounds pretty awesome, desu.
>>38077Didn't the first few pirates you resurrected just run away though? Are you sure they'll take part in the assault?
Either way, may as well bring 'em back anyway.
>>38091we might need to bring back korak.
>>38091Only one pirate has been resurrected thus far. He was scared and apprehensive at first, but eventually said more or less "I will do anything for money so long as I believe you won't fuck me over." He would of course have left the tower in the week or so after that, but I would imagine he could be located at the rusty spoon or sickly wicket or whatever the taverns are called, which is why I had Trumpaladin go to a tavern - to talk to him and ask about cannons.
The remaining 23 pirates are still dead, but we have material, and I had Trumpaladin produce "calm emotions" scrolls to aid in the resurrection. I was going to resurrect them anyways to use them to make potions and such
>Are you sure they'll take part in the assaultNo, but GM hinted that Port Barry's are willing mercenaries
>>38092He'll want his stuff back. I think the costs will probably outweigh the benefits
>>38093ill give a speech to the citizens, ill light a fire in them, it will be there duty to help.
>>38092Eh.. Maybe. I don't want to give back the sword, but it might be for the better.
>>38082>It could also take a week to move an army to the capitalIt might take a week to move an army
by land. But The Court City is located on a river. Korak, when he first told us about the Court City, said he could take us there in his ship,
The Jolly Cunt, telling us that the river is navicable even by a galleon as far as to the Court City. And we also happen to have
The Jolly Cunt as a party resource, including cannons that haven't even been counted, even if we haven't explored it yet. We can put troops in it, and sail it to the Court City. Any excess Troops or resources that don't fit in it can go in either of two Caravels that we also have and have not used.
The Court City is 80 miles away. By water it's longer, maybe 120 miles, but even if a sailing ship only goes 5 miles per hour - with only half decent winds and needing to tact - it can get there in 24 hours, because sailing ships don't need to rest unlike horses.
>But what if GM changes his mind and the river is not NavicableSparintenar is at the mouth of the river on the Ocean. It's a great place to take the troops half way there, disembark, and meet up with Sparintenar allies before going to the Court City, while also by passing Cardishore and any resistance it may give. We would probably want to stop in Sparintenar anyways to meet up with friendly forces
>>38095He'll want a lot of things back, I am not sure it would be worth it
>>38095>>38096we could make him a slave.
>>38096I can get new swag. A lot of it was pretty much tailored to him anyway, and still reeks of his personality.
I Tracy gets Weapon Focus in her daggers, she might not need the sword so much, now that she has her Ever-whirling chain.
>by riverHow many boats do we own?
>>38098I'm not giving up my portion of the loot, and I
really would rather not lose the ship and the two dozen pirates unless we got a sweet deal out of it
>how many shipsTwo or three caravels, and a galleon
>>38100He'd probably just steal it all back while you were sleeping.
>>38099storms the court city, and afterwords he will do humiliating tasks.
>>38096>changes mindNo, that's still a valid route.
>>38102He could probably escape pretty easily like that.
Better to just offer him something of ample value in return, like his swag back.
>>38104we could just make him a zombie.
>>38105A dwarf zombie is next to useless.
>>38106he would be the guard dog.
>>38107Not really.
Zombies aren't capable of all of the things they were in life. They're mindless after all.
>>38089When you cast Planar Ally without a patron deity, can you seek out the general kind of creature you're trying to summon, or will it just be any outsider in coherence with your philosophical alignment? Can you seek-out creatures you have knowledge of?
>>38111trips confirm, how indeed.
>>38111Checked.
>If you serve no particular deity, the spell is a general plea answered by a creature sharing your philosophical alignment.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Greater_Planar_AllyIs what I was looking at.
>>38113Huh. I'm still not sure how a cleric is supposed to cast spells in the first place
without a patron deity, but fug it
>>38114would thez teach me how to be a monk?
>>38113Also, I don't know anything about deities in this game, and neither does Tracy. Tracy has 2 ranks in Knowledge Religion, but religion isn't really a thing in Equestria.
What does it actually mean to serve a deity in this Game?
>>38115You have to be Lawful for that, don't you?
>>38116Depends on the deity. Some deities require things and actions from its adherents, others just have a preferred code of ethics. If you're looking to summon an ebil, there are a few deities that might look with favor on Tracy.
>>38115"Are,... are you serious? Like,... you mean it?"
>>38118>summon an ebilIdk what deities exist in The Game, but I at least wanted Tracy to make some contact with some Outsiders that matched her alignment, sort of like a "deal with the daemon" kind of scenario.
Is there a place I can read about ebil gods, rituals, and the outer planes for this game?
>>38120Other than the library then?
>>38119Thez seems particularly excited by this idea.
>>38121infernuis is happy that shes happy.
>>38121>libraryI'll have her look into it.
I've read quite a bit about Night Hags, Yugoloths, and other NE Outsiders, but Idk how religion really works at all in game.
>>38122Hitler always seemed more like a Lawful guy anyway.
>>38118>require things and actions from its adherentsCan I offer sacrifices in exchange for power?
Tracy: *reads Necronomicon*
Trumpaladin: "What are you doing Tracy?"
Tracy: "reading up on the outer Gods"
Trumpaladin: "But that's heresy!"
*pulls out chain sword, ready to smite heretic*
Tracy: "Oh Flashy, I am a devotee of the Chaos God Slaanesh, Prince of Pleasure. God of Lust and Greed, among other things."
*bats eyes at Flashy*
*assumes a addictive pose*
"You want to see some of what I've learned?"
Trumpaladin: *backs away slowly*
*runs*
Tracy: *continues reading*
\r
>>38123If Tracy is looking for a religion, her fiancé would be overjoyed if she joined him in Football
I guess I should probably bake,....