/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

Torc hopes to kick Death's ass tonight

>>32015 →
Gosh these imaginary horseshoes are sexy.
[happy nerd noises]

>>32020
I'm still directing you to >>32012 →

>>32018
GM, how is Torc fairing against Death himself?

Actually, Trumpaladin calls Fae, so he can give her the bracers, and tells her in person to look over the homefront

>>32021
*stamps hooves in anticipation (she really likes the shoes and jacket), but nods understandingly with a determined, serious expression*
"I know, Flashy. I'm prepared to give this at all."
Gosh, imagine a slick, black motorcycle jacket/suit that perfectly fits to her body no matter her size. Smooth as fuck.

>>32025
my all*

>>32023
Pali
Actually, the magneto rod threw me. I can't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to steal it, which kind of nerfs the whole fight. 3.5e has it being Vs. a Dread Wraith, but that's lame; I was going 2nd edition, but without the scythe, death is kind of a bitch desu

>>32025
>black jacket
For once, just once, you got the aesthetics right

*Trumpaladin appreciates and compliments Tracy's sexy black Jacket*
*kisses pony*

>>32029
"~Hmmmm!"
*kisses*

>>32027
Haha fuck your planning
Torc ain't dying tonight.
And now Torc owns 'Death's Scythe' this worked better than expected. But don't have Death die yet. I want to try something completely stupid.

I want to reason with death

>>32030
Trumpaladin gives her that look
"Wanna do something before we go?"

>>32031
Oh, cuz I planned this Xp
I mean I seriously envision Death (Skeltal in a robe) looking down perplexed, looking at Torcuil (holding the scythe now), looking down again, looking back, taking a deep sigh, saying "You're right, my bad,"

>>32032
"~Hmmmmm.. It'll be rushed, but we won't have very much time later..."
*drags him away for 15-20 minutes*

>>32034
*Is dragged by pony or horse, I am not sure*
"You can keep your jacket and shoes on. Torcuil's gotta have his spaghetti with Trollestia before we can leave anyways"
*spends 20 minutes with pony*

>>32033
"Okay listen Mr. Reaper, I actually do not wish to kill you. Nor do I wish for the curse of imortallity. When my time comes I will go.

I instead wish to ask of your aid. My friend is being infected by a parasite. Could you kill this parasite and leave my friend unharmed? My terms are I will give you back your scythe and you cannot kill me today."

>>32037
*shocked parasite noises*

>>32037
>I will give you back your scythe
This is a noble sacrifice.
Come on, Death. He's being generous.

>>32038
Haha, fuck your planning too
>>32039
Honestly, Torc has no use for it.
Plus he still bested death so win-win. Save a friend and claim that he beat death.

>>32037
>>32040
>>32039
It's just an avatar. Not an actual god

>>32041
GM said it was Death
>>32042
Torcuil: Chaotic good

>>32042
Yea post rabbit link this could be bad.

>>32044
Only fucking you would consider being rid of a parasite bad.

>>32044
https://www.rabb.it/ninjas
>>32045
this
>still kekking

>>32046
New Torc flow chart
Will it fuck up everyones plans?
>Yes
Fucking do it
>No
Is the creature friendly?
>Yes
Fuck it
>No
Leave

>>32046
>Can't spy on the rabbit cause still on tablet
Whats going on?

>>32048
nothing yet, rabbit refuses to load.

>>32048
There was Boop

>>32047
>inb4, Death turns out to be a lady wraith, and assumes corphoreal form
>Torc gets >raped again in exchange for Death's favor
>"See you ~soon, meme-boy." *disappears*
>>32048
I considered doing that, but I didn't because I'd prefer not to spoil shit.

>>32051
>That spoilered text
Top Kek!

>>32051
>Torc gets >raped by Death
Boy will Torc have stories from this fucking game

>>32051
Thats too good. I think it should be so.

>>32054
>>32051
I still think it would make more sense if she accepts his offer, rapes him, than before leaving tells him she's not able to do what he asked, but thank you anyways

Does anyone have the non-Stirner version of this (Stirner's a faggot)

>>32057
forgot pic
Need the original.

>>32057
What is "this"?

>>32052
>>32054
>>32055
>>32051
Wait
>See you ~soon, meme-boi
D-Did Torc become Death's fuck buddy?
>>32056
No

>>32060
Like why do you expect evil to make agreements in good faith?

>>32061
death would be neutral Desu

>>32060
>fuck buddy
Not yet, but in several she might have him forever.
>>32062
This.

>>32061
Cause I can fucking kill Death right now. Nothing has happened, Torc still has the Scythe and Death in considering the offer.
>>32062
And of course this

>>32063
several decades*

>>32061
Death doesn't lie.

>>32064
Okay. What about after you give the scythe back?

>>32062
I can't think of a more obviously evil god than death

>>32066
Why? Everyone else does

>>32067
But Death isn't evil.
Death will eventually come, but it doesn't persue. It waits until you need to be guided to the great beyond.

>>32067
Death is normal. The world as we know it wouldn't be possible without it.
>Everyone else does
If you've ever read a story where someone made a "deal with death", Death always follows the rules to their full extent.
Death is Lawful Neutral.

>>32068
Okay...

>>32069
It's a creature summoned from a tarrot card. Not a character from Harry Potter or whatever

>>32067
>>32070
Also, the wraith appeared for the purpose of dueling Torc 1-1, formally. Torc stealing the scythe was as good as beating her, so she has fulfilled her purpose.
>>32071
kek

>>32070
Harry Potter has nothing to do with this
You just mad Torc gets to fuck death and Trump doesn't
>>32071
Absolute top fucking kek

>>32071
My sides were injured in this incident

>>32074
My sides are currently passing the orbit of neptune

>>32073
I do not want sex with a skeleton

>>32072
Sure, but can it do precision surgery to kill something when it needed to challenge Torcuil to open combat? Wouldn't it need to challenge Jewfernius to open combat to kill the worms first as well?

>>32076
>implying death wouldn't be E X T R A T H I C K
Probaly, I mean it is the God of Death
Why do you hate this?

>>32071
I just managed to find the original, btw.
>>32076
>can it do precision surgery to kill something
I don't see why not. No point in challenging it now.

Continues having sex with Pony while he waits for everyone else to figure out what the hell is going on

>>32077
Cause we spent seven hours preparing for a campaign that you want to beat with a tarrot card summoned monster

>>32079
Oh don't worry, he's just made it more complicated. This ride is far from over.

>>32077
>E X T R A T H I C K
This.
Just like when you get all the dowries and marry the Skeleton Princess: she can assume corporeal form (still cold though).
>>32080
>*Army of dragons appears over the horizon*

>>32080
But it is intertaining, no?

I mean Torc beat death in combat, and now is probaly gonna fuck her.
Would you comprimise that we have to find Infernius and contrain him for her to kill the worm?

>>32081
this.

>>32081
Oh fucking hell, now I'm scared.

>>32083
We restrain Infernius and she does the surgery, sure. Our other option was just to split the head open

>>32083
Wait. I know what I want from you

>>32086
>head
The thing is in his balls. Tracy already tried burning the rest of his body to smithereens, so it must be controlling him from there.

GM, does Death ever fucking respond, or do her and Torc just stare at eachother while Torc falls in love with the sexy skeleton?
>>32087
Now I really am scared

>>32089
Nothing really. Just enjoy your date with your tarrot waifu. And release trumpaladin from his oath to not try to sex Trollestia

>>32090
Lol fucking nope

>>32085
Don't get too spooped, but in exchange for sex, the scythe, and that moon-card (you can have the star), the brain-worm is kill. You're no closer to Infernius though.
"Hey! The compass is working! Its pointing south!"
>>32089
"Sure" (sorry, I was implicit, not explicit)

>>32091
You're not interested in her

>>32092
"On this plane?"

>>32092
>lose moon card
I am now slightly depressed
>keep star
This helps slightly

So now I fuck Death?
This shit is getting really weird.
>>32093
And Trump has a fucking wife.
And Solvenia
And Torc is intrested, just doesn't know what to do.

>>32094
"Apparently, the compass is fixed on south."
>>32095

A moment of silence, while Torcuil literally puts his many-times stabbed haggis in death its self.

>>32092
*rears*
"Then South we go!"

>>32095
I haven't stuck Slovenia yet, just kissed her

>>32096
Well shit, if it's on this plane, Call Fae

>>32095
Get Trollestia. Ride her, we're gonna be on this plane at least for now

>>32096
Wait, the haggis is his dick?
Oh god, thats not what I thought.
>>32098
Torc is... occupied

>>32096
We may disagree as to which part of his body the "haggis" is.

>>32099
Torcuil hears a shout from another room
"Ride that Charger. We're on the material plane"

>>32101
Stop bullying Torc.

>>32096
>>32100
I always thought you meant a literal Haggis

>>32102
That's not bullying. We could use more allies and he needs to ride so he can keep up

>>32096
>>32100
i thought it was his asshole.

>>32103
Haggis = Innards (accessed through his butt)

>>32103
I thought it was Torc's ass
>>32102
Thx for being nice to Torc

>>32106
The one time I had to be right...

SO ANYWAY
What happens after Torc sticks it in Death?

>>32107
If we're not going into Hell there isn't much of a reason for you to not ride Trollestia

>>32099
>>32100
>>32103
Apparently I was mistaken, I thought of haggis as a filled tube, so I figured the phallus.

>>32110
Eyyy, I guess I understand.
But you fucking cunts have ruined haggis for me now

>>32110
I based it off of this /pol/ screenshot.
It's his butt.

>sorry, Overboard

>>32111
Checked and sorry...

>>32111
Did you like haggis better when you thought it meant asshole?

>>32112
absolutely fucking disgusting.

>>32112
Aww fuck, now I want an irn bru
>>32114
Thats what ruined it
>>32115
This

>>32112
That was more disgusting than I was expecting

>>32116
Irn Bru is delicious.

Trumpaladin, growing impatient, mounts one of his two possible mounts and rears, waiting for the release to go south

>>32118
You got that fucking right m8
>dons kilt

>>32119
Saved
Also see >>32097

>>32120
Don't ye be fookin dissin haggis you flapping cunt.

I wonder if Vadereim likes haggis.

>>32124
he strikes me as a Poofta, so probably

>>32119
Right you are. Thez, with also growing impatience, and upon seeing the direction that the compass indicates, <whooof>

>>32125
YOU FUCKING WHAT MATE?
You sayin only gays like haggis?

>>32126
"...Sh-should we go after her?"
*Begins walking through walls*

>>32126
>>32122
"We Ride!"
*rides demon horse*

>>32127
"Ride your horse if you want to catch up with us"

<whooof>
"Gawd you guys,...." she says reaching out to and touching the whole party. <whooooof>

>>32128
"Duh"

>>32130
I'm not fucking welsh. I don't sex the sheep
>>32131
Did Torc ever finish his prior commitment?
You never said...

>>32133
She'll get him eventually.

>>32133
Prior,... commitment?

>>32135
Fucking death

>>32137
Either way

>>32137
Yes. Death is an entirely unintended yet inevitably recurring character now.

>>32139
I fucking hate and love this at the same time
So where is everyone and what's going on?

>>32139
>NEET virgin dies and reincarnates in a magical world where he gets wizard powers and is swimming in pussy
Most cliche anime ever.

>>32141
>NEET cave wizard widower*
Yeah its fucking ironic considering I wanted to stay away from that

>Has now been waiting 11 hours and still does not know where we are supposed to be going
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1YmS_VDvMY
>>32131
So are we going south towards or past Durpistan on the material plane, teleporting, or going to a different plane?

>>32140
Falling from 3500 feet

>>32144
Oh goodie. May as well call in Fae since it appears that we are remaining in this plane

>>32142
>I wanted to stay away from that
That makes it even more cliche of a harem anime.

>>32144
>sigh
Can Troll fly?

>>32144
*Flies*

>>32147
She can cast Air Walk

>>32146
Sorry I don't watch anime,
I have enough cancer already
>>32150
>>32149
Torc calls hoers

>>32151
>Sorry I don't watch anime
THIS
H
I
S

>>32151
I don't really watch it either, but I know the archytypes.

>>32153
I don't even know that

>>32151
>>32152
>>32153
Plebs

>>32155
I won't watch it until they make a Hitler anime

>>32147
Airwalk, yes
>>32152
>>32151
Yeah? Well I do! Xp
So Thez partially opens her gliding wings. As she leaves everyone in the dust she yells "I'll come back and tell you,...."
The rest of the party is speeding toward the ground

>>32154
>>32153
I learned them mostly from a week friend of mine who I studied creative writing theories with. I only ever really watched anime with him, but he taught me quite a bit.
It was during those years that I developed Yandere Calculus as a tragic writing theory.

>>32157
*Flies*
Where did she take us?

>>32157
>I'm not gonna be awake much longer
Also, Torc calls Troll so he doesn't meet Death again this fast

>>32160
About a mile south of Port Barry
>>32161
From md-air? Thez grabbed you, she didn't give anyone a choice.
You did leave blood in the entertron right?
>>32158
>>32162
sigh
>>32155
this

Basically to summarize,... not a whole lot has happened. Torcuil, through some amazing ingenuity and some absurd luck (both for and against) has shagged Death and also killed Infernius' brain-worm. Wherever he is, lets hope he's better off for it. At the same time, the party vacillates between speeding toward and falling vertically toward his position, as Thez has a nasty habit of assuming fall-control when she activates her <whooooof>

Please keep discussion on topic. These threads fill up to Bump limit very quickly, and off topic replies just kill them faster

Anime Discussion belongs on /1ntr/. Haggis discussion belongs on /ub/. Further off topic replies will be deleted

>>32163
Tracy grabs Torc by the scruff to keep him from falling to his death.

>>32163
Trumpaladin mounts something

CALL MOUNTS

Both of them

Also Torcuil should have waited until we had Infernius to prevent it from blowing his cover

>>32163
Fine, Torc polymorphs into a hawk so he can fly.
Actually, fuck it. Torc no longer needs a mount.
>>32165
BOOOOOOOOO

>>32165
top lel.

>>32167
I thought he was on Tracy's back already?

>>32170
He should have been at the moment they left, but GM says we're falling, so if Trumpaladin is not on someone's back, he gets on someone's back. Not Torcuil's though

>>32167
>blowing his cover
Why would Torcuil, in character, believe he needs cover?

>>32165
Anyone have the "no fun allowed" pic?
>>32172
This

>>32165
>pic
>>32171
He's on Tracy's back, she's just not flying or anything yet

>>32172
>>32173

Blowing Infernius's cover. He could be in a Jew castle, and him being freed from the mind control worm wouyld just cause them to imprison him

>>32175
Quite

>>32175
Infernius just has to play dumb and moan like a brain-controlled zombie.

>>32174
I said she was flying twice.

>>32173
>>32168
Discussion about rules or moderator action belongs on the /qa/ board

>>32177
>implying that would be different than normal
>>32179
Fak u

>>32177
It's Infernius. He would flip out and start babbling about Jews or something

>>32180
Infernius wouldn't even need a Bluff check for it.

>>32182
Kek
Torc cricles down to the ground in hawk form

>>32178
I see one. I'll assume there's another that I've missed. ._.
So everyone is not falling to their deaths, sue me for hoping to paint that picture.
>>32181
"They're right you know,...." XD

>>32184
>Infernius even manages to mess up at looking dumb
*sighs*

It's about 1:30am and i can't stay up any longer.
I'll see you guys sometime tomorrow

>>32186
Goodnight

>>32186
I'll have Tracy place you in the bag of holding

>>32185
"Tracy. Place Torcuil in the bag of holding"

>>32186
'Night. Woulda had more action but you played your cards well.
>>32188
Placed cuz dubs

>>32188
[Muffled pony noises]
>'He'll die.'

>>32191
>>32192
Oh he'll be fine, its not a standard bag.

>>32194
Torcuil being duct taped to Fae sounds funnier though

>>32194
>its not a standard bag.
Really? Awesome!

>>32196
It does actually. Its almost funny enough for me to waive the 'salve of slipperyness' requirement for ordinary use of sovereign glue

>>32198
Even if it isn't sticky, and it functions like medical bandage cloth it can still be tied around Fae's torso.

*Puts Torcuil away, one way or another and directs Mountfu to continue South*

>>32199
It'll work fine, just suggesting a situation where it didn't

So yes, everyone is more or less headed toward Infernius' position, somewhere in the south amidst thick woods and other spoopy.

[2d20 = 21]
What's the terrain look like?
Spot and Search checks to scout the area (both +21)

[2d20 = 25]
>>32200
Detect Evil

Have Fae listen and spot. Rolling for Fae

[1d20+21 = 41]
>>32202
Detect Good.
Also, Listen check to look for lumbering bull.

>>32203
>tfw natural 20
What'd she hear?

>>32204
It will tale more than one distance flight to find him. Thez has the compass, and she's gonna git the toy

>>32205
... Did she hear anything nearby though?

>>32204
>>32206
Probably Fae muttering about leaving her life to serve a noble paladin, then finding she's replaced by the paladin's serial killer stalker who he started fucking for some reason, and now has to play second fiddle walking through the woods with a comatose guy duct taped to her back

>>32207
[smug nightmare noises]

>>32207
my sides!

It's getting late...

>>32210
Don't be a bitch

>>32189
>played your cards well
Figurativly and literily

>tfw when you threw off a perfectly good campaign by fucking death

>>32213
Its not thrown off, it just needs a bit of rewriting,... after the bit of rewriting I had to do cuz the brain-worm appeared in the first place,....

>>32214
Looking forward to it.

>>32174
What show was this from? I think I've seen it before.

>>32218"
Never mind. Ir was dengeki oshioki musume gootaman gootaman tanjou hen.

>>32218
>>32219
Very funny, Trump's faggot.

Fluffy birdies.

Claiming Trumpaladin for Tracy.

>>32219
>>32218
Anime dsicussion belongs on the /1ntr/ board.

>>32223
Okay....