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Torc hopes to kick Death's ass tonight
>>32015 →Gosh these imaginary horseshoes are sexy.
[happy nerd noises]
>>32020I'm still directing you to
>>32012 →
>tfw when i cant log into my rabb.it so i had to make a new one.
>>32018GM, how is Torc fairing against Death himself?
Actually, Trumpaladin calls Fae, so he can give her the bracers, and tells her in person to look over the homefront
>>32021*stamps hooves in anticipation (she
really likes the shoes and jacket), but nods understandingly with a determined, serious expression*
"I know, Flashy. I'm prepared to give this at all."
Gosh, imagine a slick, black motorcycle jacket/suit that perfectly fits to her body no matter her size. Smooth as fuck.
>>32023Pali
Actually, the magneto rod threw me. I can't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to steal it, which kind of nerfs the whole fight. 3.5e has it being Vs. a Dread Wraith, but that's lame; I was going 2nd edition, but without the scythe, death is kind of a bitch desu
>>32025>black jacketFor once, just once, you got the aesthetics right
*Trumpaladin appreciates and compliments Tracy's sexy black Jacket*
*kisses pony*
>>32027Haha fuck your planning
Torc ain't dying tonight.
And now Torc owns 'Death's Scythe' this worked better than expected. But don't have Death die yet. I want to try something completely stupid.
I want to reason with death
>>32030Trumpaladin gives her that look
"Wanna do something before we go?"
>>32031Oh, cuz I planned this Xp
I mean I seriously envision Death (Skeltal in a robe) looking down perplexed, looking at Torcuil (holding the scythe now), looking down again, looking back, taking a deep sigh, saying "You're right, my bad,"
>>32032"~Hmmmmm.. It'll be rushed, but we won't have very much time later..."
*drags him away for 15-20 minutes*
>>32034*Is dragged by pony or horse, I am not sure*
"You can keep your jacket and shoes on. Torcuil's gotta have his spaghetti with Trollestia before we can leave anyways"
*spends 20 minutes with pony*
>>32033"Okay listen Mr. Reaper, I actually do not wish to kill you. Nor do I wish for the curse of imortallity. When my time comes I will go.
I instead wish to ask of your aid. My friend is being infected by a parasite. Could you kill this parasite and leave my friend unharmed? My terms are I will give you back your scythe and you cannot kill me today."
>>32037*shocked parasite noises*
>>32037>I will give you back your scytheThis is a noble sacrifice.
Come on, Death. He's being generous.
>>32038Haha, fuck your planning too
>>32039Honestly, Torc has no use for it.
Plus he still bested death so win-win. Save a friend and claim that he beat death.
>>32037>>32040>>32039It's just an avatar. Not an actual god
>>32040>fuck your planning toofukking kek
>>32041GM said it was Death
>>32042Torcuil:
Chaotic good
>>32042Yea post rabbit link this could be bad.
>>32044Only fucking you would consider being rid of a parasite bad.
>>32046New Torc flow chart
Will it fuck up everyones plans?>YesFucking do it
>NoIs the creature friendly?>YesFuck it
>NoLeave
>>32046>Can't spy on the rabbit cause still on tabletWhats going on?
>>32048nothing yet, rabbit refuses to load.
>>32047>inb4, Death turns out to be a lady wraith, and assumes corphoreal form>Torc gets >raped again in exchange for Death's favor>"See you ~soon, meme-boy." *disappears*>>32048I considered doing that, but I didn't because I'd prefer not to spoil shit.
>>32051>That spoilered textTop Kek!
>>32051>Torc gets >raped by DeathBoy will Torc have stories from this fucking game
>>32051Thats too good. I think it should be so.
>>32054>>32051I still think it would make more sense if she accepts his offer, rapes him, than before leaving tells him she's not able to do what he asked, but thank you anyways
Does anyone have the non-Stirner version of this (Stirner's a faggot)
>>32057forgot pic
Need the original.
>>32052>>32054>>32055>>32051Wait
>See you ~soon, meme-boiD-Did Torc become Death's fuck buddy?
>>32056No
>>32060Like why do you expect evil to make agreements in good faith?
>>32061death would be neutral Desu
>>32060>fuck buddyNot yet, but in several she might have him forever.
>>32062This.
>>32061Cause I can fucking kill Death right now. Nothing has happened, Torc still has the Scythe and Death in considering the offer.
>>32062And of course this
>>32061Death doesn't lie.
>>32064Okay. What about after you give the scythe back?
>>32062I can't think of a more obviously evil god than death
>>32066Why? Everyone else does
>>32067But Death isn't evil.
Death will eventually come, but it doesn't persue. It waits until you need to be guided to the great beyond.
>>32067Death is normal. The world as we know it wouldn't be possible without it.
>Everyone else doesIf you've ever read a story where someone made a "deal with death", Death always follows the rules to their full extent.
Death is Lawful Neutral.
>>32068Okay...
>>32069It's a creature summoned from a tarrot card. Not a character from Harry Potter or whatever
>>32067>>32070Also, the wraith appeared for the purpose of dueling Torc 1-1, formally. Torc stealing the scythe was as good as beating her, so she has fulfilled her purpose.
>>32071kek
>>32070Harry Potter has nothing to do with this
You just mad Torc gets to fuck death and Trump doesn't
>>32071Absolute top fucking kek
>>32071My sides were injured in this incident
>>32074My sides are currently passing the orbit of neptune
>>32073I do not want sex with a skeleton
>>32072Sure, but can it do precision surgery to kill something when it needed to challenge Torcuil to open combat? Wouldn't it need to challenge Jewfernius to open combat to kill the worms first as well?
>>32076>implying death wouldn't be E X T R A T H I C KProbaly, I mean it is the God of Death
Why do you hate this?
>>32071I just managed to find the original, btw.
>>32076>can it do precision surgery to kill somethingI don't see why not. No point in challenging it now.
Continues having sex with Pony while he waits for everyone else to figure out what the hell is going on
>>32077Cause we spent seven hours preparing for a campaign that you want to beat with a tarrot card summoned monster
>>32079Oh don't worry, he's just made it more complicated. This ride is far from over.
>>32077>E X T R A T H I C KThis.
Just like when you get all the dowries and marry the Skeleton Princess: she can assume corporeal form (still cold though).
>>32080>*Army of dragons appears over the horizon*
>>32080But it is intertaining, no?
I mean Torc beat death in combat, and now is probaly gonna fuck her.
Would you comprimise that we have to find Infernius and contrain him for her to kill the worm?
>>32081Oh fucking hell, now I'm scared.
>>32083We restrain Infernius and she does the surgery, sure. Our other option was just to split the head open
>>32083Wait. I know what I want from you
>>32086>headThe thing is in his balls. Tracy already tried burning the rest of his body to smithereens, so it must be controlling him from there.
GM, does Death ever fucking respond, or do her and Torc just stare at eachother while Torc falls in love with the sexy skeleton?
>>32087Now I really am scared
>>32089Nothing really. Just enjoy your date with your tarrot waifu. And release trumpaladin from his oath to not try to sex Trollestia
>>32085Don't get
too spooped, but in exchange for sex, the scythe, and that moon-card (you can have the star), the brain-worm
is kill. You're no closer to Infernius though.
"Hey! The compass is working! Its pointing south!"
>>32089"Sure" (sorry, I was implicit, not explicit)
>>32091You're not interested in her
>>32092>lose moon cardI am now slightly depressed
>keep starThis helps slightly
So now I fuck Death?
This shit is getting really weird.
>>32093And Trump has a fucking wife.
And Solvenia
And Torc is intrested, just doesn't know what to do.
>>32094"Apparently, the compass is fixed on south."
>>32095A moment of silence, while Torcuil literally puts his many-times stabbed haggis in death its self.
>>32092*rears*
"Then South we go!"
>>32095I haven't stuck Slovenia yet, just kissed her
>>32096Well shit, if it's on this plane, Call Fae
>>32095Get Trollestia. Ride her, we're gonna be on this plane at least for now
>>32096Wait, the haggis is his dick?Oh god, thats not what I thought.
>>32098Torc is... occupied
>>32096We may disagree as to which part of his body the "haggis" is.
>>32099Torcuil hears a shout from another room
"Ride that Charger. We're on the material plane"
>>32101Stop bullying Torc.
>>32096>>32100I always thought you meant a literal Haggis
>>32102That's not bullying. We could use more allies and he needs to ride so he can keep up
>>32096>>32100i thought it was his asshole.
>>32103Haggis = Innards
(accessed through his butt)
>>32103I thought it was Torc's ass
>>32102Thx for being nice to Torc
>>32106The one time I had to be right...
SO ANYWAY
What happens after Torc sticks it in Death?
>>32107If we're not going into Hell there isn't much of a reason for you to not ride Trollestia
>>32099>>32100>>32103Apparently I was mistaken, I thought of haggis as a filled tube, so I figured the phallus.
>>32110Eyyy, I guess I understand.
But you fucking cunts have ruined haggis for me now
>>32110I based it off of this /pol/ screenshot.
It's his butt.
>sorry, Overboard
>>32111Checked and sorry...
>>32111Did you like haggis better when you thought it meant asshole?
>>32112absolutely fucking disgusting.
>>32112Aww fuck, now I want an irn bru
>>32114Thats what ruined it
>>32115This
>>32112That was more disgusting than I was expecting
>>32116Irn Bru is delicious.
Trumpaladin, growing impatient, mounts one of his two possible mounts and rears, waiting for the release to go south
>>32111>thought haggis was acceptable>scottish
>>32118You got that fucking right m8
>dons kilt
>>32119Saved
Also see
>>32097
>>32120Don't ye be fookin dissin haggis you flapping cunt.
I wonder if Vadereim likes haggis.
>>32124he strikes me as a Poofta, so probably
>>32119Right you are. Thez, with also growing impatience, and upon seeing the direction that the compass indicates, <whooof>
>>32125YOU FUCKING WHAT MATE?
You sayin only gays like haggis?
>>32126"...Sh-should we go after her?"
*Begins walking through walls*
>>32126>>32122"We Ride!"
*rides demon horse*
>>32127"Ride your horse if you want to catch up with us"
>>32127>sheep intestines.
<whooof>
"Gawd you guys,...." she says reaching out to and touching the whole party. <whooooof>
>>32130I'm not fucking welsh. I don't sex the sheep
>>32131Did Torc ever finish his prior commitment?
You never said...
>>32133She'll get him eventually.
>>32133Prior,... commitment?
>>32137Yes. Death is an entirely unintended yet inevitably recurring character now.
>>32139I fucking hate and love this at the same time
So where is everyone and what's going on?
>>32139>NEET virgin dies and reincarnates in a magical world where he gets wizard powers and is swimming in pussyMost cliche anime ever.
>>32141>NEET cave wizard widower*Yeah its fucking ironic considering I wanted to stay away from that
>Has now been waiting 11 hours and still does not know where we are supposed to be going[YouTube] Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Get on with it (inc. God)!
[Embed]>>32131So are we going south towards or past Durpistan on the material plane, teleporting, or going to a different plane?
>>32140Falling from 3500 feet
>>32144Oh goodie. May as well call in Fae since it appears that we are remaining in this plane
>>32142>I wanted to stay away from thatThat makes it even more cliche of a harem anime.
>>32144>sighCan Troll fly?
>>32147She can cast Air Walk
>>32146Sorry I don't watch anime,
I have enough cancer already
>>32150>>32149Torc calls hoers
>>32151>Sorry I don't watch animeTHIS
H
I
S
>>32151I don't really watch it either, but I know the archytypes.
>>32153I don't even know that
>>32155I won't watch it until they make a Hitler anime
>>32147Airwalk, yes
>>32152>>32151Yeah? Well I do! Xp
So Thez partially opens her gliding wings. As she leaves everyone in the dust she yells "I'll come back and tell you,...."
The rest of the party is speeding toward the ground
>>32154>>32153I learned them mostly from a week friend of mine who I studied creative writing theories with. I only ever really watched anime with him, but he taught me quite a bit.
It was during those years that I developed Yandere Calculus as a tragic writing theory.
>>32157*Flies*
Where did she take us?
>>32157>I'm not gonna be awake much longerAlso, Torc calls Troll so he doesn't meet Death again this fast
>>32155Alright, I used to watch it quite a bit, and still read manga a lot..
>>32160About a mile south of Port Barry
>>32161From md-air? Thez grabbed you, she didn't give anyone a choice.
You did leave blood in the entertron right?
>>32158>>32162sigh
>>32155this
Basically to summarize,... not a whole lot has happened. Torcuil, through some amazing ingenuity and some absurd luck (both for and against) has shagged Death and also killed Infernius' brain-worm. Wherever he is, lets hope he's better off for it. At the same time, the party vacillates between speeding toward and falling vertically toward his position, as Thez has a nasty habit of assuming fall-control when she activates her <whooooof>
Please keep discussion on topic. These threads fill up to Bump limit very quickly, and off topic replies just kill them faster
Anime Discussion belongs on /1ntr/. Haggis discussion belongs on /ub/. Further off topic replies will be deleted
>>32163Tracy grabs Torc by the scruff to keep him from falling to his death.
>>32163Trumpaladin mounts something
CALL MOUNTS
Both of them
Also Torcuil should have waited until we had Infernius to prevent it from blowing his cover
>>32163Fine, Torc polymorphs into a hawk so he can fly.
Actually, fuck it. Torc no longer needs a mount.
>>32165BOOOOOOOOO
>>32167I thought he was on Tracy's back already?
>>32170He should have been at the moment they left, but GM says we're falling, so if Trumpaladin is not on someone's back, he gets on someone's back. Not Torcuil's though
>>32167>blowing his coverWhy would Torcuil, in character, believe he needs cover?
>>32165Anyone have the "no fun allowed" pic?
>>32172This
>>32165>pic>>32171He's on Tracy's back, she's just not flying or anything yet
>>32172>>32173Blowing Infernius's cover. He could be in a Jew castle, and him being freed from the mind control worm wouyld just cause them to imprison him
>>32175Infernius just has to play dumb and moan like a brain-controlled zombie.
>>32174I said she was flying twice.
>>32173>>32168Discussion about rules or moderator action belongs on the /qa/ board
>>32177>implying that would be different than normal>>32179Fak u
>>32177It's Infernius. He would flip out and start babbling about Jews or something
>>32180Infernius wouldn't even need a Bluff check for it.
>>32182Kek
Torc cricles down to the ground in hawk form
>>32178I see one. I'll assume there's another that I've missed. ._.
So everyone is not falling to their deaths, sue me for hoping to paint that picture.
>>32181"They're right you know,...." XD
>>32184>Infernius even manages to mess up at looking dumb*sighs*
It's about 1:30am and i can't stay up any longer.
I'll see you guys sometime tomorrow
>>32186I'll have Tracy place you in the bag of holding
>>32185"Tracy. Place Torcuil in the bag of holding"
>>32186'Night. Woulda had more action but you played your cards well.
>>32188Placed cuz dubs
>>32188[Muffled pony noises]
>'He'll die.'
>>32191>"does he need air like that? I don't think we could just leave him. Should I tie him to Fae?"
>>32192>'Living creatures can only last for 8 mins in the bag.'
>>32191>>32192Oh he'll be fine, its not a standard bag.
>>32193>"Fine... If you have any additional rope or chain or duct tape I'll tie him to Fae"
>>32194Torcuil being duct taped to Fae sounds funnier though
>>32194>its not a standard bag.Really? Awesome!
>>32196It does actually. Its almost funny enough for me to waive the 'salve of slipperyness' requirement for ordinary use of sovereign glue
>>32198Even if it isn't sticky, and it functions like medical bandage cloth it can still be tied around Fae's torso.
*Puts Torcuil away, one way or another and directs Mountfu to continue South*
>>32199It'll work fine, just suggesting a situation where it didn't
So yes, everyone is more or less headed toward Infernius' position, somewhere in the south amidst thick woods and other spoopy.
[2d20 = 21]
What's the terrain look like?
Spot and Search checks to scout the area (both +21)
[2d20 = 25]>>32200Detect Evil
Have Fae listen and spot. Rolling for Fae
[1d20+21 = 41]>>32202Detect Good.
Also, Listen check to look for lumbering bull.
>>32203>tfw natural 20What'd she hear?
>>32204It will tale more than one distance flight to find him. Thez has the compass, and she's gonna git the toy
>>32205... Did she hear anything nearby though?
>>32204>>32206Probably Fae muttering about leaving her life to serve a noble paladin, then finding she's replaced by the paladin's serial killer stalker who he started fucking for some reason, and now has to play second fiddle walking through the woods with a comatose guy duct taped to her back
>>32207[smug nightmare noises]
>>32189>played your cards wellFigurativly and literily
>tfw when you threw off a perfectly good campaign by fucking death
>>32213Its not thrown off, it just needs a bit of rewriting,... after the bit of rewriting I had to do cuz the brain-worm appeared in the first place,....
>>32214Looking forward to it.
>>32174What show was this from? I think I've seen it before.
>>32218"
Never mind. Ir was
dengeki oshioki musume gootaman gootaman tanjou hen.
>>32218>>32219Very funny, Trump's faggot.
Claiming Trumpaladin for Tracy.
>>32219>>32218Anime dsicussion belongs on the /1ntr/ board.
>>32223Asking about an on-topic image isn't anime discussion. Though it is off-topic. Just like this post. Feel free to delete.
>>32225>like he's never done it before
Alright, I've crunched the numbers. It would only take Thez approx 30 minutes to arrive at the apparent destination, and determining that the destination is correct would only take another minute. At Tracy's max speed laden, she will take over an hour. So, after about 45 minutes of travel, Tracy is the first to meet up with Thez, who is on her way back to meet the party. The destination is obvious by this point, a large and jagged-black stone city further to the south.
"He's somewhere in there."
>>32228Fae's ground speed with bracers and mount buff is 80. How long would it take her?
>>32229She's not carrying anyone is she? If no, it would take her just under 2 hours. Its 80 miles to the destination, and her max speed (full run) is 320 feet/round. Assuming she doesn't rest (which she would have to) that comes out to ~132 minutes. That also assumes she doesn't run into anything
>>32228>At Tracy's max speedJust for my knowledge, does that include strategic spurring/healing? I realized through reading up on nightmare tactics that the biggest benefit to Tracy's high HP combined with Endurance is being able to gallop at max speed for long distances.
>>32230We duct-taped Torc to her.
>>32230I thought Tracy's speed was 100 (flying) and Fae's 80 (ground)
Torcuil is duct-taped to her, though that's still a very light load
>>32231This is kind of strange to me. I would never spur Fae because I'll bet she'd be offended at being treated like that, where as it seems Tracy can be physically bullied or even harmed in a number of different ways and never get angry over it
>>32231>>32232Tracy's base movement speed is 100 + 30 (horseshoes of speed). Max of x3 (cuz shes in armor and has Trump) = 390 ft/round
Total distance is 422400 feet.
Trust me, I crunched the numbers.
>>32234I thought she was wearing the zephyr shoes or that other set, and that the horse shoes of speed only improved ground and not flying speed?
Also, you can make a mount go 3x speed?
>>32235She requested Horseshoes of Speed for this expedition, though you make a good point about the ground only.
All creatures can move up to 4x (except with armor or a load) their base movement speed, however combat rules and fatigue apply the greater the multiplier. With the Run feat, that increases to 5x
Since I know someone is going to ask, Thez' base speed is 111 (its mathematically 110 but Xp), which through Run feat is a max of 555/round. However, every 4 rounds she can Dimension Door another 3240 feet.
>>32236Oh, well fancy that.
Trumpaladin, who ought to still be riding Tracy, takes a look at the city to inspect its features and any movement around it. What does he see?
>>32234Alright.
What kind of load does Trumpaladin count as? A light load for her is 612 pounds, but Idk how much he weighs with that armor.
>>32235The Horseshoes of The Peerless Steed only increase her land speed, but they do make it
much easier for a rider to fight while riding her.
>>32234So I can now get Fae up to 240ft and she can outrun a dragon?
>>32238much*
Didn't mean to spoiler that.
>>32237Elevation?
>>32238A load of,... sorry too easy. He's in Full Plate, but Tracy is uber strong, so a light load.
>>32239Is the Dragon walking?
>>32238>>32240My guess is ~225 pound human with 50 pounds armor plus 30 pounds more armor and gear, 120 pounds (or less) of leather light barding, and 60 poundsish of saddle bags (if it's the biggest bag of holding). Maybe less though
>>32241If she is on the ground, and either way for the dragon
>>32238Damn it, these horseshoes are haxxor
>>32243"IKR! I love them!"
Can outsiders be made into undead? Does a creature need a dual-nature to be animated?
>>32245Typically no, and neither can outsiders be resurrected. When an outsider is killed outside their home plane, they are forcibly returned, and when they die on their home plane they cease to exist.
>>32237As far as movement in/around the city, there is plenty. Differing shapes and sizes can be seen from distance, some very clearly not humanoid. The city appears quite active.
>>32248>>32247To Tracy
"Think we should approach the front gate?"
[1d20+21 = 25]>>32248>Nightmare Sense: Activate!Tracy gets a better look at the creatures with a Spot Check
>>32249>'Well, that'd be the polite way to do it.. but I'd prefer to be a bit more discrete.'*Engages stealth-flyer mode, until plan is made*
>>32250>"I'm getting the impression that this is a trading city, and I say that based upon the diversity of the inhabitants. If a guy wearing a business suit (hat of disguise) came through on a large walking, non-flaming, non-smoking horse, people would think he's important, but no one would suspect as much as we are actually hiding, and we could observe the city freely and ask people questions about what is going on.>"If you don't like that, the way I see it, we only have three real options>1. I dismount and the party rogue does her thing while I wait for Fae or walk through the front gate myself>2. We go ethereal and walk through the city in the Ethereal Plane>3. We go through the front gate, preferably with the paladin looking like a businessman and the cauchemar looking like a large horse"
>>32251>'I want to investigate from a distance beforedeciding how to go in.'
>>32252>"Sure, but I don't think we'll gain much information until we get closer"
Trumpaladin uses his Hat of Disguise to assume the (relatively) innocuous form of a Joke Presidential Candidate
\r
[1d20+21 = 40]>>32253Wait for the check to go through.
For that matter add a Search check, to observe from above.
>>32254... Was he already wearing the hat?
>>32255Don't fly above the city, you'll be visible like a UFO
>>32256He didn't take it off
>>32255>"Put your hooves on the ground, stop flaming, and stop smoking. If anyone lays their eyes on you, they should see a dark blue draft horse with leather armor. What they should not see or think is "oh look a cauchemar, we need to think about how to kill that." Let us keep that secret until we decide when we want to reveal it"
>>32257>>32259She's not directly above the city, and she's got enough stealth ranks in this form to conceal herself, especially with the shadow armor.
*veers off to the side for stealthiness*
>>32260Conceal herself in midair? It wouldn't hurt to combine stealth ranks with an innocuous form. What's the harm?
>>32260Its kind of hard to hide in the middle of the air. Also, I'm pretty sure I omitted the shadow armor
>>32262Okay. She veers off and lands then.
Did she see anything worth noting with those checks though?
[1d20 = 17]>>32262Trumpaladin searches city for features that are unusual or define its character
>>32264>rerolling the SearchThere were woods surrounding the city, right? Did the area they landed in they provide sufficient cover?
>>32263The creatures are all armed, and not uniformly. Their weapons are of different make and origin, and in some cases are improvised.
>>32264The whole place is unusual. The walls are jagged stone like obsidian, there's no sensible layout, just clusters of areas connected by doors and walkways. It wasn't designed for any civic function that he's ever seen.
[1d20 = 7]>>32266Spot check on the creatures. I know you said some humanoid and some not, but are any approximate forms or species discernible?
[1d20+21 = 22]>>32266Any guards or watch towers?
What's the seemingly-clearest route for infiltration?
Search Check, to look for a way in.
>>32268>"I still think we have the same three options as before, although it looks like the creatures are more likely to be hostile. But it's a diverse group - they could be gathering for a game, for some larger threat - who knows? We'd need to talk to someone to find out. If I dismount and you assume pony form you could bluff your way in. If I stay on you we could walk right up to some one and ask him a question, and if he attacks you could bite his throat out or jaunt to safety. And of course, we can go ethereal into a building, although I think if or when we come out they will be much more likely to interpret us as hostile than if we went in properly"
>>32267Its mostly monsters, and of them most are oversized humanoids (giants, ettins, orgres, etc.). The human-sized humanoids don't seem the slightest bit bothered by their presence, and vice versa.
>>32271Wait. I think I know what is going on
>>32268Whispers to Tracy
"Bet each one of them has a brain worm"
[1d20+21 = 31]>>32271Any sign of Infernius, or other Minotaurs?
Spot Check
[1d20 = 14]>>32271Spot check for what the monsters are doing - what is their activity?
[1d20+19 = 31]>>32275Better off with a Sense Motive check for that one.
In fact, that's what I'll do.
[1d20 = 10]>>32276I think we are too far way, but fuck it. Sense Motive
>>32274No sign of either.
>>32275Occasional pockets of conversation occur, and a few scraps break out, but they appear in standby of a sorts. Mostly they are just keeping an eye on the city and one another. At the center of the city is a oddly shaped mound with sheer sides. Aside from what amount to shacks, it is the only apparent building.
>>32278I'm guessing we've stumbled upon something like an early English Hillfort?
>>32276>Mountfu has very nearly as many buffs for sense motive as you because of Haxxor, even though you had to allot many of your few skill points to itreeeeeee
>>32279Something like that, yeah.
>>32281Spot check again. What's the biggest, baddest creature and how well armed? How many creatures?
[1d20+21 = 24]>>32280Can Tracy roll Spot again, to determine how the city is being guarded, before approaching?
Who's watching?
>>32284Uhm, well there's a Truly Horrid Umber Hulk, there's a bunch of derpy-looking and non derpy-looking ogres, oh hey there
is a minotaur (not Infernius), there's a weird gray-skinned giant thing with 6 eyes across its forehead, there' a gorilla with 4 arms,... its almost like the GM went flipping through the Monsters Manual and just started picking things to add to the list. Oh, there's plenty of smaller monsters too (orcs and such).
>>32285More or less, everyone is watching and the humanoids have a fair amount of ranged weapons on/about their equipment.
Thez <whoooof> appears next to both. "The walls are enchanted, or magical, or something. I can't phase through them at all, and without seeing inside the place I can't risk teleporting in."
>>32286>everyone is watchingWell fug.. Idk how to roll stealth for that..
The crowd sounds tasty though.
[1d20+21 = 30]
Are there any rivers near? What's supplying the city with water? (they might have a sewer)
Search check to look for plausible alternative entrances.
>>32288NO! These things are probably infected with the mind control worms. In nature, the vast majority of parasites that alter a host's behavior do so in order to make the host more likely to be preyed upon, and transferred to the actual definitive host. For all we know, infernius was infected when he ate the troll hearts. I'm not going through all this same bullshit again just because Tracy wants to be le edgy. If she's hungry, eat gruel from Torcuil's sticks. Or a steak later
Torc wakes up, finding himself duct taped to someone
"What the bloddy hell?"
>>32291"It was either this, or the bag."
>>32291I am not sure, but I think you're 30 minutes out
>>32292I'm assuming Tor is aasically laying on Tracy's back, and the duck tape is wrapped around.
"Oh yay, I'm taped to you. Hi stabby-hoers, can you let me down?"
>>32294No. He's taped to Fae.
>>32295>>32296This, and she's running, so its uncomfortable.
>>32295>>32296Oh fuck, thats worse
"Uh, could you guys get me down?"
>>32298Only if she's caught up with us. You were an hour away, so I do not know
>>32298It'll be a bit before you meet up with Trump and Tracy. Might was well try and get comfortable. Nah, you can be there already, it doesn't change much.
>>32287>>32289"So then, what's the plan?"
>>32300"Oh thank Kek, Hi Tracy and Trump. Would you mind getting me off this...
Uuhh, creature."
>>32302"Her Name is Fae, and she's a dragonne"
*Cuts Torcuil down, and lets him fall, with duct tape still clinging to him*
>>32303"Ow"
Torc picks himself up, brushing off.
"Sorry I don't remember everything. Whats the plan?"
>>32304>>32301"I still want to talk our way in. Maybe think of a clever lie or something"
[6d20 = 92]>>32301Thez shrugs. "I doubt we're going to get in undetected. That middle,... mound-thing looks to be the center of the place, but there's so many doors that there's no way of knowing which will lead to Infernius, especially if the inside is as chaotic as the outside." She <whooooof> disappears and reappears about 100' over the mound. Shouts immediately react, and several of the humanoids fire arrows.
>>32305"Wait, where are we? Last I remeber I was a hawk."
>>32306Brb
Thez <whoooof> appears next to the others and shrugs. "Well, it looks like we've already been spotted, and I don't think they're going to let us in the front door exactly."
>>32308In a forest outside the fort
>>32309"Wish I had our armies"
>>32306[confused pony noises]
"So, how long until they come storming out?"
*kicks soil, preparing for a charge*
>>32310What fort?
>>32309I hope an arrow lands near Torc.
If it does, he inspects it
"Well this will be fun"
>>32308>>32301>>32311"Kill 'em all seems to be our only option. Recommend having a rider make themselves visible outside the gate, prompt some of the guards to give chase and leave the gate, kill those, then burst through the open gate"
>>32312The city thing we are outside of
>>32311"And Tracy, don't eat any of these creatures. I'll bet you every single one of them has a worm. You might get a worm doing that. Whatever you think you stand to gain is not worth the risk"
>>32315Back read, and specifically read GM's posts
>>32313What if we wait until they've opened the gate, make arun check while ethereal to charge right through them, then go through the gate while it's open?
>>32313"Not necessarily. I saw a few places on the mound we could land. In fact, while I can't go through the walls, I can get us up there without much of a fuss."
>>32312The fort ~80 mi south of Port Barry, where Infernius seems to run off to.
>>32311"They don't seem to be gearing up for a charge."
>>32310"It could take a week or more to gather and move that many men, plus the logistics of supplies are a nightmare."
>>32317Ugh
>>32318Torc could fireball the gate
>>32318I think they have a barrier, but see Thez's plan
>>32319Okay, land the four of us on the mound
>>32316Imma' taking parts home anyway. Living creatures can't stay in the bag, so any bugs should suffocate.
>>32318>>32319Or, we could try to bait them into charging at us, then charge through the open gate
>>32322If you start this cycle of shit all over again because you are being reckless and allow a worm to live that should have been burned - like you did with the tarasque - I am killing your character
>>32323Or teleport right in front of the gate while it's open.
Let's go with Thez's plan though.
>>32319>Torc turns into an unladien swallow>flys into the fortress>kills gaurds>lowers gatesObjections?
>>32324Kek
Thez is thinking
>>32325>>32326Thez's plan. Get all four of us in there
>>32326He could be killed pretty easily.
>>32330>>32331You guys are no fun at all.
Torc can handle himself.
I mean, he did beat death.
>>32326"There's only 4 of us, and that's a small army. I mean, we could probably waste 'em all, but not without injury or depleting resources (spells, etc.)."
>>32332With a benis
"Plus, there's no way of knowing what we'll find once we get inside."
>>32332An ogre is a hell of a lot stronger without a weapon than a tarrot card monster
>Don't Fear the Reaper started playing on laptop as I made this post
>>32333>>32334>>32332>>32330Are we going into the mound, or are we going through the front gate?
>>32333[frisky nightmare noises]
*kicks the earth and snorts*
"Well, what are we waiting for?"
>>32332A win is a win in my book
>>32335Ogre is not stronger than death
>>32336Torc could tak out the gate with a fireball
>>32338You disarmed the tarrot card avatar creature with a magneto rod. Not a melee attack like an ogre
>>32337Don't tempt me, but this
"Tracy, charge the biggest, baddest thing you find, and kill it. Get me closer. I want to hit it with my sword"
>>32334"Fae, charge smaller creatures and rip them to pieces. Be careful if you bite though, since these creatures may be infected with parasites"
Fae should have 17 HD and an attack of +18, by the way
>>32338How about you fire ball the gate, and then we go to the mound directly?
>>32338>>32337>>32334Fireball the gate, charge it, then poof to the mound directly. Confuse them
Also, I can't find out what kind of creature a Dax is, or its abilities.
[1d20 = 20]>>32339It wasn't an avatar, GM said it was death
>>32340>>32341Torc casts a fire ball from the staff of ultimate power
Roll for what ever may be needed
>>32342Ever seen the Rainbow Dash Presents episode "Haunting Nightmare"? In it, Twilight is infected with a mind control parasite - like an ant or snail - that makes her evil and intends to get her eaten by a celestial being so it can complete its life cycle. Something like that.
All you need to know is kill the host
and burn the body\r
>>32345>inb4 the whole wall explodes
>>32336>>32337>>32338"Well, if we jump to the roof, that will bypass the mass, but there'd be nothing preventing them from coming after us inside. Depending on the terrain, that could be advantageous, or disadvantageous. If we face them outside though, they can fight us from close and long range."
>>32342Its Game OC
>>32340"Hmmmm. A feint could be quite effective,....
>>32343"... oh shit, we're going then."
>>32348>Game OCreeeeeAlright then. I'll give up on trying to research its abilities.
>>32345>>32347>>32348"Torcuil! Stay here and fight from range! Tracy Fae and I will go to the Roof!"
>>32350Wait and see what happens with the fireball first.
>>32346Burning them shouldn't be a problem>>32348So what does the fireball do now?
>>32351It burns down the gate and makes them think we are going through the front gate. We have our diversion
>>32347Unfortunately, fireball is an incendiary explosion rather than a concussive one. So, while the wall is charred (but otherwise undamaged) several onlookers at that position on the wall are visibly on fire.
Thez times it so that the group teleports right at the moment of the explosion, leaving behind a group of stationary illusions that appear like crude replicas of the party.
>>32353For the last time, you are not GM>>32354Kek, people got burned. I figured the wall would be fine, but the people was a bonus.
So where is Torc after teleporting?
>>32354What does the new location look like?
>>32346I'll just take their hands and anything else that looks interesting then. Claws, teeth, horns, eye-lenses, skins, scales... etc. Places where worms couldn't hide.
>>32355>>32356Pick one of the 3 start locations. Also, disregard the letters and numbers.
>>32358Is "Boss" Where it says it is?
Also, I just want to kill/destroy everything.
>>32358I'll let Tracy pick. Does this mean I am separated from Fae?
>>32359We can do that. Just get me closer
Torc goes...
Blue.
I fucking saw that Trump
Also, I gtg in about 40 minutes
>>32358I just want to be in the same location as Fae and riding Tracy
>>32359>"Tracy, do you mind jumping through a few walls as I play Marco Polo with Fae? It would really hurt me if I lost her on a mission, so let's meet up, then let's kill everything">>32362Kek
>>32360I wan't to take the long way and go on a ruinous, unnecessarily evil rampage, killing everything I can and taking extra time to plunder and whatnot.
>>32358Green, because that's my favorite color.
>>32364Don't forget to loot as you go by. Actually, Fae is probably strong enough to fight back whatever is in front of her if she's not too aggressive
>>32366Fae can't Cleave, can she? What if she's outnumbered?
>>32359No, that's just existing icons from the map I'm using.
>>32360No, everyone is together
>>32363The walls do not permit jumping through.
>>32365So am I hearing splitting up? That can be arranged.
>>32363Fuck off with your warnings and shite
>>32368I want to be with Tracy and Fae. Torcuil is soft enough he really ought to be with Fae or Tracepaladin
"Relax. Now that we're under the visible area of the mound, we can fly to whichever door we choose. Unfortunately, thats alot of doors."
>>32371>>32369It's harmless fuckery. Essentially shit posting. Don't take it personally
>>32372So we're underground then? Is it well lit enough for humans or do I need to cast daylight?
>>32371Did Trump send you a warning too?
>>32372"So, I'll just follow the crowd"
>>32373>leafGET THE RAKES
Damn it another one?
When does the blood-orgy start?
>>32373It's pretty annoying, desu.
>niceOH, HAHA, SO FUNNY!
>>32374No, but the mound is elevated from the rest of the city, causing the players to be out of sight, and assuming they don't fly too high so as to avoid being seen, they can pretty much move to whatever place they wish to start from.
>>32377It was a nice note
>>32375Not until after he said that
>>32377RIP us
>>32378Blue, like my flag
>>32379YER A FOOKIN LEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFF
>>32378Tracy's Faggot said Green. But if we want to take the approach he wants, red makes more sense
>>32380Recommending staying together
>>32376Beware of traps in the halls. In fact, we may need a rogue in the party to locate them
\r
>>32381The starting point only determines which doors are available from on foot.
It doesn't matter what door it is to me, let's go already.
>>32382I'll let Tracy and Torcuil decide where they want to start, but I want to be with Tracy and Fae, and recommend Torcuil stays together as well
>>32383Do you think we may face a booby trapped hallway rather than hordes of weak enemies? If so, it may be wise to dismount Tracy and let her do roguish things like trap spotting
>>32384>Do you think we may face a booby trapped hallway rather than hordes of weak enemies?I hope both.
>>32385I guess the real question is, do you you think we should proceed into the hallway with Trumpaladin riding Tracy?
>>32384Also, no dismount. She has higher rank in Search in this form than she does from her class ranks.
Dismount when see fit.
>>32384Thez thinks sticking together is the best plan.
>>32386The doors are not big enough to accommodate Trump riding Tracy.
I'm just waiting for something intresting
>>32388Can Thez direct us with her compass?
>>32388Okay then. Just go through as normal.
>>32388REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Dismounts Horsey. Brings Fae inside though
>>32391"Not with any certainty. The compass points toward the left side of the building, but there's no way of being sure that the corridors don't wind back and forth. Fuck it, let's just pick a door."
Someone give me a color and a #, cuz this is a bit of a labyrinth
>>32396>>32397Oh goddammit.
Vote blue to tip scales, because I'm itching to start.
>>32397And now I see there is no blue 7
I'll be gone soon so don't expect Torc to be much help
>>32397Blue 7 isn't shown on the map
>>32399Prepare a few memes for him to cast as an NPC.
>>32400Fug it then
Vote Red.
>>32401Uh,
>Man's not hotFire resistance
>Youtube rewindTarget is forced to watch the youtube rewind.
Cringe damage
And he'll use his staff of ultimate power
>>32403I don't fucking care
>>32404>I don't fucking careThis.
Let's go already.
>>32404Behind that door is a decent sized corridor leading to another door. Aside from a pair of Velociraptors, the room is empty.
[3d20 = 21]>>32406I always wanted my own velociraptor..
It can't be avoided...
Charge one and attack with Cane-sword.
If the Great Cleave succeeds, finish the other.
>>32409Do you even have that spell?
>>32410It's too late to declare that as a ride-by attack, is it?
>>32412Yes (through homebrew), and you're not able to do ride by's like that
>>32413Which page did you reference for that material?
[6d20 = 56]>>32413You do? Was that that weird feat or devotion or w/e?
>>32410Determining initiative
>>32415>>32414Just nevermind. It would fail because Tracy attacked them, so no point in trying
Tracy/Raptors go first, then Trump/Fae, then Thez, and Torc last.
>>32417Did that first hit cleave?
>>32414For perspective, you've got the animated demon hands. Are those holding the swords, cuz otherwise I don't see how you could perform a ride-by attack.
>>32419I figured she was in warhorse form, using her maw.
>>32419Ride by attack is mounted combat. Which is definitely not what Tracy is doing
>>32418Heavens no, cleave only occurs when you kill one opponent, you get an automatic attack against another opponent if they're in range. Its possible to do so in three strikes, what's Tracy's Base atk?
>>32419What, when you said animated, did you mean not attached to her body? Are they floating there or something?
>>32423... yeah, isn't that what you wanted them for?
>>32422>attack bonus9+4+2
>>32424Well, what I was describing (or trying to) were gauntlets with animated finger-claws, that she could wear over her hooves as if she had hands, so then she could use decides that she couldn't normally use.
>>32425use devices*
You know what, that's fine too.
>>32425>>32426Just have pony Tracy wield sword from hooves and avoid all of this weird and complicated bullshit
>1st encounter
>already confused as fuck
pic unrelated
>>32426So, do you
not want them flying around and grabbing things as though she had arms?
>>32427I did this specifically to avoid awkward questions of how she can be in a full run while holding swords
>>32429Oh no, by all means let them fly around.
Can I attack with them too?
>>32429Pony Tracy can charge and has charged bipedal in the earliest games. Please let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be
>>32430You get three attacks in a round
>>32430>>32429It's exactly the same thing as Tracy killing zombies in the very first session, except wielding a sword instead of two knives. Now let's move on
[1d20 = 8]>>32406Torc fucks the raptors
GM please don't take my shitpost seriously
>>32431>three attacks in a roundWith the sword, you mean?
>>32432In the 1st session, Tracy also made five zombies explode just by looking at them.
>>32434I've put up with your haxxor bullshit enough. Even Thez - fucking Thez - only has six attacks because of a Monk's "flurry of attacks" option which requires her to sacrifice armour and attack bonuses. I have patiently played this game with a difficult class to play - Paladin - and only have the melee bonuses I have because this class gives so few other advantages, like your rogue's skill set or a cleric's spells.
Please play by the damn rules and accept 3 attacks per round from whatever means of attack you choose
>>32435I only made 3 attacks.
That's what's allowed, right?
[1d8+3 = 14]>>32430I had assumed that was the idea.
>>32431Trust me, this
is the less complicated version. There are
alot of incidents where I just went with it rather than ask difficult questions that would have hindered gameplay. These eliminate those questions/incidents/issues.
>3 attacksThis is true, regardless of how Tracy chooses to attack.
>>32432Knives I can see, basket hilted dueling swords, not so much.
>>32433Don't tempt me
So what I am seeing is that Tracy attempted a ride-by attack as the Raptors approached the party, and since Tracy is the leading party member (in position cuz she moves first) they would naturally gang up on her. The first strike lands, the second and third do not.
>>32435>6 attacksUhm,... sure we'll go with that.
>>32434Should I point out that I've been gradually applying further rules as the game progresses, and that zombies are 1hd creatures, so its no biggie to give extra attacks?
[1d8 = 5]
That didn't work right
[2d20 = 26]
The Raptors take up position on Tracy's sides (flaking) and attack with talons
>>32438I still don't like warhorse form, I have never been comfortable with it
Fae is ordered to charge and attack the raptors with her Pounce feat.
Trumpaladin quick draws Vanderiem and draws the Bees. He makes a full round attack if possible, and charges if not
[4d20 = 31]>>32443Dice roll for Trumpaladin's attack, if a full round attack is possible, and disregard if not
>mfw I forgot to use my haxx chain to attack from a distance
[2d8+5 = 11]>>32441One of them hits, the other one doesn't defeat Tracy's armor/dex bonuses.
[4d20 = 50]>>32443Dice roll for Fae, if she gets a full round, although I am not sure. Her attack bonus would be +18
>>32438An Equestrian earthpony wielding a sword with dexterous hooves makes more sense than a horse not breaking every single one of its teeth or giving itself CTE wielding a sword from its maw
>>32447Should only be three rolls, not four
Dragonne has claw, claw, and Bite
>>32449
Makes more sense than "Jew powers let me become large AND put a sword in my mouth WITHOUT breaking all of my teeth when they hit a solid surface OR Dazing me when my head comes to an instant stop and my brain is thrashed about in my skull"
[3d10+33 = 53]>>32444You can, but they're positioned so that in order to attack one of them, you'll be unable to cleave the other. All 3 attacks hit.
>>32450She used a knife with her mouth at the beginning too.
Earth ponies have strong jaws
>>32451Pls attack the one that hit her.
>>32451Politely request that Fae target the other raptor
level 16 paladins get a fourth attack at that level with a +1 bonus...
[3d20 = 50]>>32454Fae complies, full attack
>>32452I don't think that's the same, because she was targeting soft, fleshy targets. Hit a sword against steel, or miss and hit rock, you stand a pretty good chance of damaging
the sword, and definitely a good chance of breaking teeth or a brain injury if it's held in the mouth
>>32455Huzzah! A 20!
[2d4+2 = 9]
[2d6+4 = 13]
Okay, upon landing on the Raptor, Fae bites a chunk out of its face while her claws dig deeply through its hide.
[3d20 = 35]
Okay, the one Fae just mauled is kinda messed up. The other one is listing to the port side.
Thez darts over to Fae's, full-round attack
[1d20 = 5]
As the third hit lands (2 might have been sufficient, but was being thorough) Thez <whoooof> appears at the other one, continuing her attacks.
The first of which finishes off the Raptor.
Both Raptors are dead, and Torcuil didn't get a chance to attack.
[wounded, embarrassed pony noises]
"Okay.. I'll think first next time..."
How badly is she bleeding?
>>32462RIP Raptors
>>32452Recommend rogue pony check for traps before proceeding through door
>>32463Bah, that's nothing, barely double digits.
Beyond the raptor corpses (ha! good lluck carting THOSE around!) is another door.
[1d20+4 = 13]>>32464>>32465Tracy cuts off the hands and feet of the raptors and places them in her bag.
Search Check for Traps
[1d20+5 = 22]>>32467Alright.
Listen check to detect creatures around corner
Trumpaladin and Fae, carrying Torcuil around like a cardboard cut out, proceed towards the door
>>32468It's a corridor with a door at the end. There is no corner
>>32469*presses ear to door to listen for what's behind*
>>32468The room you're in is stone and weird-glassy stuff, but the sounds from the next room sound like a small-build humanoid walking on a metal surface.
>>32471Trumpaladin uses detect evil while standing by the door. Look for strength of aura and number. I guess location as well
>>32472Just one, some distance to the right from the door. Aura strength is moderate
>>32471Insect door
Is it locked? If not, open just a crack and peer through.
[1d20 = 14]>>32474Nope, its unlocked.
>>32476>dat roll*braces for engagement*
>>32475Peeking through the door, the next room is framed and lined with metal, a very deliberate and rectangular room. Several strange machines line the wall along the path which proceeds to the right. The sound of footsteps approach.
[1d20 = 17]>>32478Trumpaladin studies the wall. What does it look like?
>>32479I mean the machines, if a description can be given
[1d20+5 = 9]>>32478*releases chain from bag and prepares to attack approaching creature*
Spot check to see what's coming
>>32478Readies full round attack for when Creature comes by
>>32479Its hard to make much out from the door, but they appear to be large glass cylinders, full of fluid and containing some sort of immobile creature.
>>32481The footsteps are much closer, but no shadows are cast from the ambient light sources.
>>32481>"Expect undead. What do?"
[1d20+5 = 20]>"Something's coming" She says, readying her fiery chain to engage, and drawing kunaiListen check to determine how many creatures.
>>32484>'You're the Paladin; turn them when you see them.'How many times can the Everwhirling chain attack per turn?
>>32482The creature steps fully into view. Its a very gaunt and hard-featured elf with very pale skin. It looks at the machine closest to the door, makes a few scribbles on a clipboard, and then wanders back the way it came.
>>32486Tracy makes an almost disappointed sigh of relief
".... That was weird...."
*steals everything that isn't nailed down*
>>32486Trumpaladin uses Hat of disguise to turn into a business man
>>32487>"Wanna pull a bluff?"\r
>>32487Please be more specific. Are you entering the room?
>>32487Wait until the elf is actually gone
>>32489They're not inside already?
>>32490This.
>>32491I thought you were doing a Scooby-Doo, peeking through the door like a totem
>>32491No stealing shit until we know what is going on>"Want to pose as a businessman and mare inspecting the units, so we can ask questions about them from the elf?"
>>32492That's better...
Does he show any signs of leaving?
>>32493>'I don't think that's going to work...'
>>32493>>32495Are you guys whispering this?
>>32495>"Ye of little faith. If it doesn't, you can kill him with your claws. But you're a rogue. You can do this"
>>32496It's the empathetic link
Thez, not knowing what you two are discussing whispers "I say we interrogate him, find out if he knows where I'nis is."
[1d20 = 4]>>32500Fuck it then. Opens door, uses Rope of Entanglement
Oh bloody hell.
I g2g for possibly an hour
I am so sorry...
[1d20 = 13]>>32502Don't sweat it
>>32503Fae is ordered to Grapple
The elf-guy is caught sufficiently by surprise that he is caught sufficiently by the rope, which winds its self around him. Thez <whooof> gags his mouth and he collapses in a heap, while Fae provides support.
"He's unusually strong for his size," Fae comments.
>>32505Finishes tying him down, while Fae provides any needed muscle.
>>32506With the elf subdued, Trump can get a better look at the place. Its essentially a corridor, made of metal like seen before. On either side of the corridor are placed the same sorts of cylindrical devices, which he can see have organsms (mostly human/humanoid) that are suspended motionless in liquid. As the hallway progresses further, larger and larger tanks hold increasingly sized creatures, including - at the end of the hallway and adjacent to a stairwell, a cloud giant in the largest.
The tanks have lines and tubes running from the base to the mouths and along the creature's body. Its very mad-scientisty.
>>32508It's established that the largest creature is a Cloud giant. What about the remainder of the creatures? Are they essentially the same as the creatures seen at the walls?
>>32509No, the creatures at the walls were more bestial and feral, these seem to be more fair and gentle specimens.
[1d20 = 10]
Thez moves to the end of the hall, then to the top of the stairs, and listens for noise.
Finally back.
Again, take everything that isn't nailed down.
[1d20+5 = 12]>>32511Tracy listens too, while stuffing her bag.
>>32512>>32513The only thing not nailed down is the elf-guy's clipboard.
Beyond the door, several individuals are engaged in conversation. Its impossible to make out what they're saying.
>>32512Don't. It would take forever, you could expose a steam line, and the creatures in the tubes or liquids going in and out could be very dangerous.
You got your loot from the Hax item creation. Be satisfied with it and don't risk fucking over the whole party
>>32513>>32514You can take his clipboard
>>32511Trumpaladin signals for Thez to come closer to talk to him
>>32514Take all the levers and buttons off of the machines, to effectively sabotage them.
>>32517<whoooof>"There's more beyond the door. They seem somewhat occupied, but if we're going to interrogate this guy we should take him back outside."
>>32518And then Tracy does this.
>>32518That would take a while, and we're probably going to blow up the facility, but whatever. I though you might want to interrogate a guy
>>32519"That's exactly what I was going to recommend. Let's go do it"
>>32518Please describe briefly the process of sabotaging the machines. The buttons are attached, and there's no levers to be removed. It IS susceptible to breaks at several points (along tubes, glass, circuitry, etc.).
>>32520"Or at least to where the dinos were, loud noises shouldn't be that out of the ordinary from that room."
>>32521>>32518Sabatoge sounds loud. Let's wait until we've cleared out the next room
>>32522"Yes, let's do that, and close the door"
Why don't we wait on the other side of the door and just stab them as they come through?
>>32521Nevermind that, I was mostly shitposting, but she wouldn't do something like that if she was in a hurry.
Snip-snip any visible wires, to cause problems for the next guy coming.
>>32524K, there are some exposed wires that can be cut. So while Tracy is doing that, Thez, Trump, Fae, and Torcuil haul elf-guy into the next room. He's definitely not casting a shadow, it wasn't just a trick of the light.
>>32524That's how I wanted to do this guy. But I think Tracy's evil alignment/lack of code/intimidation makes her helpful in interrogating this half-elf.
>>32525Alright, Trumpaladin removes the gag, and starts
"Sorry to startle and inconvenience you. We just want to ask a few questions"
>>32525A vampire?
Tracy follows the group and waits by the door, preparing to ambush the first guy who walks through.
>>32526Paladins are responsible for all of the actions if their cohorts, but we diverge.
>>32527As you remove the gag, the elf hisses at you at length. "You aren't part of the Court, release me!"
>>32528Yeah, I know he's not really permitted to be around her at all, and there is a reason I had him try to kill her a few times. Just go with this fiction>>32529Pulls out Kefka's head from the bag, and displays it to the Elf
"I am above the Court"
[1d20 = 8]>>32529*Hisses back*
Intimidation roll, because why not?
>>32531This is why your character should be there
>>32530Killing cohorts is also considered an evil act, but whatever...
>>32528A vampire, from up close the smell of death is unmistakable. "Tracy, the round bottle," Thez says.
>>32531The vampire seems unimpressed. "I don't know how you got in, but you'll make a fine addition to the gallery," he says with a sinister grin.
>>32533Really? I was going to ask earlier if it was against Paladin code to deliberately wait for a small pregnant woman to make the first move into an area of danger, and if it mattered that he was engaged to her and that was his unborn childI'm not a very good Paladin...
>>32534*offers bottle*
*cuts vampy's feet off*
>>32536He hisses as you cut his feet off.
One of these days, you'll have to start asking questions BEFORE torturing captives,....
>>32535Idk if it's explicitly against code,
but letting your pregnant waifu do the dirty work isn'rt exactly exemplary behavior...We forgive you though.
>>32537I just wanted to cut off his feet...
>>32537They need to know you are willing to hurt them though. The only serious issue here is that would cause any living creature to bleed to death in a couple minutes
>>32538D'aww*Internet hugs pony's faggot*Wait... You're just saying that because you want me to join the dark side
>>32534"Oh, so you have a gallery?"
Thez takes the bottle and opens it, pointing the top toward the vampire. The bottle dribbles slightly, but does not empty.
As Tracy finishes cutting through the vampire's feet it struggles against the ropes. "You've made a grave mistake that you shall spend a lifetime in oblvion for!"
V> Gaseous form
The vampire fades into a thick greenish cloud, no longer held in place by ropes (or physical form for that matter).
Thez> "Wave"
A huge gout of water like a fire hydrant envelops the now gaseous vampire, splashing him to the ground over against a wall. The greenish puddle wriggles a bit, but the gaseous vampire seems unable to escape from the water. A few moments later, the vampire reforms into a physical body (now neked). He's hissing like mad now.
Thez looks looks at everyone. "Not my first vampire."
[1d20 = 9]>>32543Rope of Entanglement!
>>32544"These will make a fine edition to
my gallery."
>>32544Damn It Tracy the new form could be an ordinary life form! That could cause it to bleed to death or die of shock!
>>32546"Tracy, I get that you are le ebin ebil or whatever, but please, be
smart about it. Think about the consequences your actions could have before doing them"
>>32545Success. He's now bundled in the corner, with no feet (and soon no hands), neked, soaking wet, and really pissed off.
"I recommend Cure Light Wounds if you want to squeeze info out of him,... restorative spells - especially from a holy spellcaster - are particularly 'motivating' for undead."
>>32547"He was rude to me, and I wanted his hands."
[YouTube] [Animation] Ponies With Hats
[Embed]vid unrelated
*guards door, waiting to sneak-attack any faggot that comes through*
>>32540>Dirty workI mean, I fully intended to try to take the kills and do the most damage, I just mean she is the one who gets hit by the opponent's attack round>>32550"Next time, make sure it won't bleed to death first"
>>32549Paladin's Lay of Hands on Vampelf!
>>32552Meant to link to
>>32538
>>32552That doesn't sound very heroic...
>>32552More hissing, writing, and angry-vamp-elf-face "WHHAT! What do you WANT!?"
>>32555*draws penis on his face*
>>32556That reminds me. Did Torcuil ever wash off the writing Thez did on his face? Way back when he was in a coma? I don't think he ever did. Torcuil has a penis on his face, along with ridiculous anime-eyes.
>>32555"We just want to know who you are, what is going on here, what gallery you are talking about, what the court has to do with this... Actually, we want to know pretty much everything that is going on here"
>>32554That's why I had to stop and think about doing it first>>32556laughs at pony's silliness
*pets pony*
>>32555"Where's our bull? The red one." Tracy asks, not bothering to consider that he probably doesn't know shit
>>32549*carves crucifix into one arm, and football into the other*
*slices swastika into forehead*
>>32559Like, he has the whole time. Adjusting brain-canon
>>32558"I work here, this is the resource wing. The gallery, well thats what those machines are in the next room. This is the Court City, the whole operation is at the behest of the court!"
>>32560At this he looks at you confused. "This is a joke right?" He glances back the way you first came in.
>>32562*goes back to waiting by door, remembering her ambushing duty*
>>32560>>32555Trumpaladin picks up pony, and puts her in his lap as he stares down the elf vampire, petting her like a Jame's Bond Villain's cat
Grapple check on Pony
>>32562"This is the court city? This? I thought that was North of Port Barry?"
[1d20 = 11]>>32564>>32563Grapple roll for pony
>>32562"Where do you keep the weapons around here?"
>>32564*purrs*
>>32565No need
>>32564"It is,... was,... it was north back when GM was still being a faggot and going "hurr, north is down" but then later said "Fug it, can we just have south be down?" he replies in an out-of-character, almost apologetic tone.
>>32566There's a longsword and some armor among the pile of clothes.
"Keep? Only a fool would leave their weapons out of reach."
>mfw>>32567*takes sword*
*takes elf's clothes*
*cuts his dick off, because why not?*
>>32567Trumpaladin shrugs, in such a way the pony could leave to go get the weapons without his arms getting in the way
"So what is the operation you are working here, at the behest of the Court?"
\r
>>32568>PicNow you see why Trumpaladin is so afraid of Tracy
>>32568Its a damn good thing vampires have fast healing. Sheesh.
>>32569"I run the machines. The machines extract blood from subjects. This is the main facility of the vampire (faction) blood harvesting operation."
Oh, btw, how many hit dice does this guy have?
*ears perk*
"What kind of blood?"
>>32572GM shitpost: all that information could have been obtained by looking at the clipboard
>>32572"Is the court mostly vampires? Where are the subjects taken from?"
>>32573Grabs pony ears in a way to be painful to the pony
"Do not poison the child"
>>32575*reads clipboard*
Did his dick grow back yet?
>>32576"It's not poison."
*reads sheet, to tell if it's actually poison.*
>>32578"I want my child to be born healthy, be able to live a normal life, have no deformations or mutations, and be able to be accepted by his peers. If you want to mutate yourself into... I have no idea what, you can leave me after the child is born and do whatever to your body"
>>32577I said fast healing, not fast regeneration. The wounds close, not regrow.
The clipboard contains a very neat and itemized chart indicating approximately 17 different creatures including the Cloud giant, litres of blood per hour, notes, etc. The heading indicates "Court City Blood Harvest Audit"
"The specimens are taken from wherever they can be found without disrupting the established hierarchies. I'm not much in the loop on that."
Thez gets pissed and places her heel inside his jaw. "The bull, you never answered the question about the bull."
"Hmmmhmmmmhhrhrrrrrr."
Thez removes her heel.
"He was taken that way (back the way the party originally came) and further into the structure."
What he means is, choosing door Red 7 was good, but Red 8 would have been better
Unfortunately, an alarm starts blaring from the Gallery room.
>>32579"I'm not looking for any mutations, just supplements. It's got everything the body needs. Just ask pasty over there." she says, gesturing towards the bleeding, butt-naked vampire.
[4d20 = 36]>The Elf is listening to us fight>>32582Whelp
Kills Elf Thing with slashes to the throat and head
[1d20+5 = 13]>>32582Listen Check to determine what's coming and which direction to move.
>>32584*takes jaw-bones from mutilated vampire head*
>>32583Trumpaladin gives a look like he's clearly uncomfortable with this and is also unconvinced, but figures if he can prevent his child from looking like a Chernobyl birth because of the mother's carelessness, he'll be fine
"Be careful for AIDS"
>>32587"I'm sure they were very careful to make sure their crops didn't have AIDS."
>>32583"Thats true, blood is the most nutritious natural fluid."
>Alarm"Oh fug."
>>32584>killsAs Trump slices it, it again assumes gaseous form, which Thez again douses with water.
"We don't have time to kill it, damn things are like cockroaches."
>>32585There's people in the Gallery room, one of them is approaching the door to the dino room, agitatedly saying "That motherfucker better not have gone to sleep again."
>>32585*waits at door to stab anything coming through*
>>32589*takes his lower jawbone*
>>32589Trumpaladin goes to the door onto its side, and readies an attack on whatever comes through as it comes through. Fae is ordered to do the same on the other side
>>32590Scratch that second action, just get ready to sneak attack the goy who goes through the door.
Draw Assassin's dagger and sword, whilst setting auto-chain loose
>>32590He doesn't become physical again. No jawbone for you.
>>32592A familiar faced, but this time much paler fellow kicks the door open, yelling "God dammit John, where the fuck did you run off to?!" Since she hadn't really thought about it, Thez is just sorta standing there in the open. This serves its purpose of distracting the new entry though, and as Trump and Tracy let him have it Thez says "Hi Barry!"
[1d20 = 1]
Tracy is the one who actually GETS sneak attacks, so she goes first.
[4d20 = 37]>>32593Full Round attack with Vanderiem
[1d20 = 3]>>32593>BarrySneak Attack with Asassin's Dagger: Death Attack for Paralysis
>>32592Leave the face to Thez or you activate your curse
>>32597Elves aren't hoo-man, and neither are vampires Xp
Jesus, Vamp Barry rolled a 1 on his saving throw against sneak attack. Let's just assume he got merc'd before he had a chance to raise an alarm.
>>32599Is Barry a Vampire?
For the record, sneak attacks don't require a die roll, they require the person on the receiving end to reflex save. And he ebin failed. Assuming Tracy didn't kill him, Trump sure as hell did, and vamp-barry is now a puddle-vampire as well, Thez keeping the bottle handy.
>>32603
I decided it was a good day for Barry to die,... again.
>>32600*steals Barry's clothes, for the second time*
Anything I need to know before I get back to this shit?
[1d20 = 9]>>32604What's the DC on these attacks?
Whelp, Trumpaladin listens for more people/things
>>32606We're in the Court City, apparently. We found a Vampire blood farming operation
[1d20+5 = 9]>>32607Also Listen check
[1d20 = 8]>>32608How the fuck did we get there?
GM, can I know Torc's surroundings?
Perception check just incase
>>32597"Thats sweet, but no way am I eating vampire face. Thats how you get the AIDS. In any case, we know which way to go now. These fucks are stuck in this form until the water evaporates, so we don't have to worry about them following us or raising an alarm."
She says as alarms are still going off in the Gallery room.
>>32601This Barry is a vampire. Don't worry, there'll be lots of Barry's, as well as others whom GM works with.
>>32610You're in an L-shaped room with 2 dead velociraptors, and two greenish puddles of water at intervals. There is an annoying alarm sound coming from one direction, and Thez is already headed in the other. Court City is where the party was following the I'nis Compass to, except that no one had ever been there and its not like anyone knocked on the door and asked "Where is this". Xp
*takes velociraptor skins as well*
>>32612Thez rolls her eyes. "If you really want to keep the corpses, help me carry these outside."
>>32604Okay, I see. DC10 + Assassin Level plus int modifier, though I want to note that it requires three rounds of study so waiting to do it to someone coming through a door would not allow a death attack, though it would allow a sneak attack
>>32611>That's how you get AIDSTHANK YOU! Someone else finally noticed how dangerous eating random shit is
*Follows Thez to where ever she takes hims
>>32612That would make a wonderful purse, but I'm afraid that would take several minutes and we don't have the time
>>32613I would've just taken their entire bodies, but Trump's faggot is paranoid about worms.
*helps to carry*
>>32613*Helps Thez carry Potential Purses. Get's Fae to help*
>>32613"Tracy, can I get a tissue sample?"
Torc follows, helping how he can
>>32617*offers piece of dino*
>>32615They are too heavy and generally not worth taking the whole thing, just get the skins.
>>32618"Thanks Tracy. So, now what the hell are we doing?"
>>32620"We're looking for the stupid bull before he gets himself killed."
>>32620"We're going to door Red 8 so we can rescue Inferius"
>>32621"I knew that."
>>32622"Is that where he is?"
>>32614Fair point, I'll not make that mistake again.
>>32615>>32616Upon getting the bodies outside, Thez <whoooof>'s one away,.... <whooof>'s back,... and then <whooooof>'s the other one away,... before <whoooof> returning.
"There. They're outside the city wall, if you want to retrieve or resource them later."
>>32620>>32358Vampire-elf-guy just revealed that the door (8) at the end of the path that Red 7 is on is the door that the party wants to go to find Infernius.
Considering the available options, the party bypassed a whole lot of crawling and fighting, not to mention back-tracking and shit. It wasn't a perfect choice, but it was damn near.
>>32624"Well, If we're goin'..."
Torc steps to the side and gestures at Thez
"Ladies first"
>>32624"I already took the best parts, but I'll pick them up later."
>>32624>My Choice was amazingYay!
>>32621"Tracy, want to inspect door Red 8?"
[1d20+5 = 11]>>32627Listen check to hear what's beyond the door.
Should I summon Trash Man?
>>32629Wait for the next fight.
>>32630Well I assume there will be one when we go through the door
>>32628Nothing can be heard from this position. No sounds occur from around the door.
>>32633Distant, but 2 presences far from the door in the next room.
>>32632>>32635>>32634Is Torc gonna have to fireball a door again?
"Anytime today would be nice..."
>>32635None except Torcuil and Trump.
>>32637The door opens to a long staircase leading down. 2 voices can be heard speaking from the bottom, one female and one male. The female is raspy and ghostly, the male is deep and inhuman.
>>32635>>32636"who wants to walk down?" Trumpaladin whispers
[1d20 = 6]>>32637"Finally"
Torc summons the Trash Man
17 STR
15 DEX
5 CON
17 INT
20 WIS
15 CHA
GM, feel free to makes slight changes if necassaryRolling initiatve for Trash Man
>>32639"Ladies first?"
[1d20+5 = 18]>>32638*looses auto-flame-chain*
Spot check to see what's down there, through the dark
>low-light vision/darkvision
>>32641>>32640THEY ARE TOO FAR AWAY! WE HAD THE ELEMENT OF SURPISE! Oh Come on! We could have listened to them
*Throws Torcuil own the stairs*
[2d20 = 6]>>32640*kicks trash can down the stairs with both rear hooves, as a distraction*
*Sends chain after it to auto-attack whatever's down there*
Rolling for chain's attacks
[1d20 = 14]>>32642Aw what?
He never said anything?
What the hell?
>>32643Shit...
>>32642*grabs torc, to keep him from falling*
>>32642>surpriseSeriously. It actually makes my job more difficult now. Hold on,....
I want to specify the Trash Man made no noise, he just appeared
>>32645Torc whispers "thanks Tracy"
>>32646Trumpaladin stands back and expresses his frustration
>>32647e_e
So you summoned him without making a sound? Cuz, Summon Trash Man is a non-verbal spell? The Trash Man doesn't strike me as the quiet type.
>>32649Tracy shoved him down the stairs as soon as he appeared.
>element of surprise.
>>32647It's the Trash Man. He doesn't do stealth
>>32649This.
>>32643There are better ways to Leeroy Jenkins
>>32651>Leeroy JenkinsI'm the Rogue/Assassin/Blackguard; let me decide the sneak attacks!
>>32649Does writing in a tome make noise?
BESIDES just the Trash Man could run down
I'm honestly supprised now one has killed Torc out of sheer annoyance, especially you GM. I fucking suck at this
>>32652Because throwing a trashcan down spiral stairs is so stealthy
>>32653>supprised now one has killed Torc out of sheer annoyanceI know, right?
>>32654Fuck your wussy ass sneak attacks
TM> I'M THE TRASH MAN
And he jumps down the stairs to fight while Torc holds everyone back at the top
Torc (whispering)> Hold up, lets see how long he lasts
[1d20 = 2]>>32653If I was rigidly adhering to D&D rules, I probably would have.
>>32654Its a straight staircase. So the ppl at the bottom know that there's something at the top. For future reference, consider casting spells
before entering the room you wish to be sneaky-ish in.
>>32643Quaint, but the staircase is more than 60'
H> Finger of Death
The sound of Trash Man slumping and then dematerializing can be heard.
"You, go and learn what the meaning of this is."
H> Teleport
Heavy steps can be heard advacing up the staircase.
>>32656>Finger of DeathSo now we know what is waiting for us
>>32657>2>still killed him instantly"We're fucked"
Torc projects his sheild and pulls out staff of ulitimate power
>>32657Moves outside of stairwell, and readies Full Round attack with Smite Evil on the first two attacks. Fae is asked to do the same on the other side
>>32657Fall back a bit and prepare chain for attacking.
>>32659That was Trash Man's saving throw
>>32660The footsteps stop part of the way up the staircase,... cuz there's a pretty obvious spiked chain dangling there.
>>32661>"Recommend sneak attack like on Barry. You will not get a better chance, and distance will not save you"
Thez sighs and goes ethereal.
>>32662*chain slowly and awkwardly retracts*
>>32662How do you determine the DC for a finger of Death?
>>32666The spell listing has it as a fortitude save, DC spell level (7) + intelligence bonus.
>>32666Matters how powerful the caster is.
>>32665Mirthless chuckling can be heard from the base of the stairs.
"Very well. Take your time revealing yourselves, your intrusion has been noted and will be swiftly routed," the voice grains, in an abysmally low tone.
>>32667Oh Thank God.
*Holds on to +15 Fortitude save modifier like prayer beads, but remains at the door, readying an attack*
>>32668Want to do this?
MOUNTS PONY
>>32670Strike that, its 10 + spell lvl + int bonus
>>32669[angry chain-rattling noises]
>>32672Well that's less good
>>32673We could go Ethereal and go around him maybe
>>32670Prayer beads?
Booms can be heard from beyond the current adversary.
[1d20+21 = 27]>>32674Walls don't allow for phasing through.
Spot check to witness whoever's at the bottom
>>32675Can't really charge him, and need a specific mount to go ethereal to get around him, so I'm stuck for the moment
Torc's faggot frantically searches for the SoUP's spell list
>>32678Walls can't be phased through, but dudes can.
More booms can be heard from beyond the current guy (Oh FFS, its Dick Cheney)
>>32674Fuck it then.
*Advance down the stairs in ghost-form*
>>32681DIck Cheney stands there, giving his zombie-face, and looking quite evil and undead. He wields a warhammer, and is clad in blackened armor. He seems oblivious to your movements.
>>32680>Dick CheneyQue? Is he deer hunting
>>32681>"You materialize next to him, make a sneak attack, and I'll flank him with the boots"
>>32682Why is he a villain though?
>>32683Rapid-dismount requires a Ride check.
>>32684>Dick Cheney.
>>32685Wait. Am I mounted on you?
I have an idea to buy us time
Torc casts wall of force in the stairwell when he can
>>32686That's what you said earlier
I'm going to have to go soon...
>>32685>Implying America did anything wrong in spreading Democracy to the Middle East and Liberating the oppressed oil reserves there>>32688Eh, rides ghost horsey down stairs, and readies an attack for when she materializes behind him
>>32689I really can't tell if you're being ironic or not...
>>32689>wants to get into a lengthy discussion about foreign policy cuz GM decided he'd make a good undead character.Sigh, no mounting indoors.
>>32685Hasn't been mounted since first endering the place,....
More booms, and a click sound can be heard from beyond Dick Cheney.
>>32687That will buy time,... in a manner of speaking.
>>32691Tracy walks forward down the dark corridor, sword drawn and chain prepared on auto-strike.
>>32691Mother fucker!
Trumpaladin walks into the doorway, and casts
TURN UNDEAD
>>32692"Ideas?"
>>32694Have fun running into that wall of force
>>32695He casts in on Dick Cheney. Cause he's dead
>>32696Why did you do that? How does that do anything other than fuck us over by leaving us unable to attack him? And yes I have an idea, cast "Implosion" on him
>>32698Fine, but when he kills you first I'll be the last to cate.
Trrc cancels that and casts ray of enfeeblement
>>32699Don't cast on Tracy.
>>32700I wasn't going too
Wait a minute.
Casts DEATH WARD on self
>>32700If Tracy would like to be five feet or less from Trumpaladin at the time of casting, AND remain within five feet of him as they progress down the stair case, Tracy can have immunity to finger of death and perhaps a couple other benefits Trumpaladin casts on himself
>>32704Follow her down the stairs.
[1d20 = 19]If Thez were in the room, she would be facepalming. A few more BOOMs can be heard from the next room.
>>32699>ROEHmmm, that one might actually do something.
[1d6+5 = 9]
ROE strikes successfully, severely retarding Dick's strength.
>>32707I hope that 19 is in my favor
>>32708Woo hoo
Eat dick Dick....
That sounds weird
"Prepare yourselves, for you'll be denied the quiet of death." Dick says, ascending the staircase.
Should I mention that the staircase is too narrow to allow ppl to stand side-by-side?
>>32711Yeah that might be useful
Is there a roll Torc has to do when he shoots his pistols, cause thats gonna hapen after the Pence Prod comes out
>>32711Trumpaladin goes towards Cheney to try to attack him with his sword
>>32711Use the Hand of Glory to cast Daylight down the stairs.
Too narrow to dodge?
Throw as many poisoned kunai as she can in one turn.
>>32706Do you want to be the person to make melee contact, or me?
>>32712You're gonna use the melee cattle-prod before the ranged pistols?
>>32714>poison>undead>facepalming intensifies
>>32714You might want to get behind and above me
>>32716I'm sorry. I've got a project that's due in three hours, and I haven't been paying the best attention...
>>32716Its not supposed to be melee, I thought I said it shot lightning.
But, I guess it's pistol time.
>>32718RIP
>>32718Oh fuck, you go do that
Grapples pony, and move her above and behind him so he'll be the one to take the hit and not waifu
Casts Protection from Evil on Self
>>32721This was not intended to be posted. If cheney is a single round away, Trumapaldin readies an attack, with two smite evils
>>32718Thats fine, I'm about to cinematic it to a close anyhow
>>32719You said "Cattle Prod"
>>32722Dick Slowly creeps his way up the stairs, not for stealth but to maintain his posture. He displays a certain finesse, despite being a walking corpse (what? he IS!)
A BOOOOM sound echoes from beyond Dick Cheney, followed by a scraping sound.
>>32723That shot lightning
>>32723Well, then Trumpaladin casts Protection from Evil on himself. If pony is close enough (I think she should be) she should also receive it because she has the Paladin's Mount class
To Dick Cheney
"Have I ever told you that I appreciate what was accomplished in Iraq? Not only did you get Sadam out, but you managed to build a democratic regime that lasted"
>>32725:O - amazed face
What kind of cattle prods shoot lightning?
If we can talk down a black dragon, and we can talk down a representation of Death, why not talk down a Republican Vice President?
>>32720....I haven't made the best life decisions these past few months..
"He's still ALIVE? What the hell have you guys been DOING all this time?!" comes Thez' shout from the end of the room.
>>32729Serious note. Don't beat yourself up, but don't go light on yourself either. Seriously and critically address the situation, and reason a more conducive approach. "What am I doing, and what
could I be doing that might benefit my situation better" is my go-to.
>>32727Magical ones
>>32729Story of my fucking life
>>32731Don't fuck this up Thez. I'm'a kill this Neo-con
Unless he wants to spread democracy with me
Trumpaladin holds hooves with pony and advances forward
>>32732>>32730>>32729Don't worry, I planned for this moment too. If only I had the want to blogpost my grand autistic design.
>>32733Cheney is toward the bottom of the stairs, in a ready stance with his warhammer.
I'm fucked for this project anyway, so may as well have some fun before life gets hard tomorrow...>>32731Fuck it.
After receiving the Death Ward and whatever else Trump casted, Tracy charges right down the stairs, attacking first with the auto-chain (twice) before rushing in with a Triple-attack with her cane-sword, hoping to dismember the bastard.
>>32734Nah. I'm sick of cowering.
>>32736But see
>>32720. She's been moved behind him on the stairs, though she could probably use her chains
>>32737Then
YOU charge, Mr. Heavy Infantry.
>>32736If you don't mind me asking, what kinda project?>>32735>>32734I don't think diplomacy would work
>>32737GM never said how tall the area was, she could vault over you.
[4d20 = 51]>>32736I get the Idea though
Trumpaladin closes distance and Attacks, full round, smite evil on first two strikes. +16 +11 +6 +1 base attack, +5 Strength, +7 Vanderiem on Evil, and Smite evil adds +4
>>32739ProjectS*... Sociology..
>>32739Only one person can attack at a time and I have more bonuses plus she loses death ward if she goes more than five feet away
>>32736First, the chain is "everwhirling" not animated, dancing, or otherwise autonomously attacking.
Secondly
... aww fuck it.
As the first of the party closes on Dick, he makes an attack of opportunity. Whether he succeeds or not is irrelevant, because he's about to get gang-raped, and though he's a death knight (spoiler) he doesn't have any nifty spells that will save his ass in such a situation like 2nd ed death knights do,... power word blind for example would be particularly useful in this instance.
>>32741I'll start writing your eulogy.>>32744Uhhh, trying to think of a buffing spell...
>>32744Would blind be useful for him to use, or for us to use?
If us, Torc uses his Snek staff to blind him
>>32748Done the math, it's 46 34 31 30 on the attack rolls.
Trumpaladin gets +7 damage for strength bonus two-handed and +16 on the first two hits for smite evil
>>32746As Trump edges his way closer to the ever on-guard Dick Cheney, Cheney lunges forward to attack. His warhammer glances off Trump's spaulder, while Trump himself unleashes a full range of attacks, all 4 of which land successfully. Dick Cheney - in that unearthly low voice - screams as he is cut once, twice, thrice, four times in succession.
ALRIGHT, we can roll for initiative, or we can just run down the list and figure out who kills him. Its inevitable at this point.
[1d20 = 19]>>32750Rolling, I guess?
[1d20 = 19]>>32744Isn't an ever-whirling chain also everdancing?
>>32750Roll for initiative.
Or whatever.. This encounter has been kind of pathetic...
[1d20 = 10]>>32750That should be 60 damage before even rolling the dice on Trumapaladin's damage. And the dice is like 4d10 or 8d6
(strength of 7 x 4 plus smite evil 16 x 2)
>>32752There's another guy down there and he has guns or explosives
[4d10+60 = 77]>>32752When specified during request, yes.
Thez looks at GM. "I'm gonna have to lecture them again, aren't I?"
>>32753
GM doesn't realize I blinded dick, does he?
>Is hoping he'll get the kill, though his first strike may just have been so successful that he won't have the chance
[1d20+9 = 21]Dick Cheney is still standing. Oh just kill him already, he was supposed to be dead like an hour ago.
>>32756
[3d20 = 43]>>32758Cane-sword
[3d20 = 20]
Blind attempt fails, Cheney attacks Trump, who is still the most available target.
[4d20 = 50]>>32758Attacks!
[1d20 = 17]>>32758Torc shoots him in the face
Seriously, just gang-rape him so I can say "he's dead" without going through the minutiae of combat w/ a single target.
So, at the precipice of Dick Cheney dying, is everyone prepared to face the actual, realistic thing that would have happened?
>>32763The other guy shoots us?
>>32763Sure I'm prepared enough
or at least I am now....Tracy takes Cheney's clothes and hammer for Infernius (he was naked, last I checked)
>>32763>>32765Trumpaladin quickly cuts off his head and puts it in the bag
Alright. Cheney is dead, and Thez lumbers in carrying Infernius' unconscious body. The way out is clear, just up the staircase.
She's got a bunch of wounds on her, and parts of her ar singed (damagingly), which is a new thing for her, but she's alright.
>>32768[embarrassed, pathetic pony noises]
"... Ah... hehe.. I see you found your bullfriend..."
>>32768>>32769Walks up stair case, and where is/who was the other guy on the Detect Evil?
>>32769"I'm guessing you got shot?"
>>32769*Cure Moderate Wounds*
>Awkward silence
>>32768Torc heads up
"You found him! How is he?"
Upon arriving to the top of the staircase, the party finds a wall of force in effect, protecting the door and the surrounding archway from damage. The walls around are the same weird obsidian-esque glassy stuff, both obstructing physical movement and preventing astral/etheric motion.
The party seems to have found its self in an Oubliette of sorts.
>>32772"Triceratops," she off-handedly replies.
>>32775Right back down into the facility we go. Where is Fae?
>>32775"Fuck, this wasn't me"
>>32775>The party seems to have found its self in an Oubliette of sorts.Welp, may as well go forward and collect pieces of the dead enemies as we go, until we find a way out..
Sorry, Thez.. We're all massive faggots...
>>32779I want to destroy the Facility anyways. This is the Court City. We are here to show our dominance
>>32779What the spoiler says
The next room opens into a small corridor, with three robed blood-smears and a massive triceratops crumpled in the corner. A staircase leads up to a catwalk, where shackles are attached to the framework.
"Thats where he was being held, they had him in some sort of interrogation trance when I found them."
The catwalk extends toward the south, with doors on both sides.
>>32782*cuts out chunk of each Triceratops and tosses them in the bag*
>>32782Walk up the staircase and down the Catwalk I guess
>>32783Its just one triceratops e_e
>>32784follows him
>>32785I messed up, meant to say each body (if any left) and the triceratops
>>32783"Tracy, get me a bit of the dinosaur too plese."
>Torc follows the rest of the party
Continues advancing on catwalk past doors
Speaking of "Cat," Where is Fae?
*scavenges equipment*
Gotta be resourceful, that's my role as the thief. And no, I won't just keep everything.>>32788*gives piece of dino*
>>32791There's not much that is loose though. I guess you could grabs the shackles, which seem useful
[1d20 = 18]>>32791"Sparing no expence" intensifiesPerception check on the room for hidden shit
[1d20 = 8]>>32793May as well make a Search check before leaving the room
>>32787K, TY for clarifying, I was about to rant.
>>32790"I'm here, in case anyone remembers," Fae says dryly.
Thez lays Infernius on his back, and checks his vitals. "He's alive, but he's unconscious. I don't know if he's under any spells at the moment, or would be on reviving," she rests her head against his chest, determining his heart-rate. "It seems normal, but I don't know. I just,... I don't know." she says, clutching his chest-hair for a moment.
The escape is not going to be simple. This is a point that the party can rest for a bit, maybe
strategize and come up with a plan. Hint hint. Beyond this point will be lots of fighting, spoiler alert. While the party did well bypassing otherwise avoidable enemies on their initial entrance, everything went to shit with Dick's "other associate" had the chance to finger the Trash Man and then teleport away. The jig is up so to speak.
>>32795>The guy who has Death Finger left and is still DangerousI used up my Death Ward spell for the day! Yay! Thank you Torcuil. We so appreciate you giving up our surprise.
*Pets Kitty*
"I was worried for a minute, Fae"
To Thez
"Should I do some healing or spells on him?"
"Since the whole place is a maze of doors and corridors, one can only achieve a limited degree of stealth before revealing their presence. Tracy and I should be at point. With Etherealness we can run diversions, or coordinate feints and lures. We can draw them into an ambush, or we can take the fight to them," she says, again looking at Infernius. "You abysmally big oaf."
>>32795>Duct-tape Infernius to Fae.>Search building to get a scope of the structure>try to figure way out
>>32796"I... I want you to, but I don't know,...." she says looking again at Infernius. "Its your call. If he's still rabid, we can,... put him down again (non-lethal)."
>>32795He teleported in the building?
Could the same spell be used to get out? (I don't think so, but it's a question worth asking)
>>32801I think he just walked right into the city
>>32796Try Remove Curse or Break Enchantment
>>32801The individual in question teleported without fail. Clearly there is a limit to the restrictions of the spell, but those are unknown to the party.
Current location, don't mind the hallways on the left or right, those are separated by walls.
[1d20 = 20]>>32796You are fucking welcome
Torc's faggot rolls for his own jump check, off a cliff
>>32797"Let me try something"
Torc trys teleporting to a different plane
>>32806OH FUCK ME, NOW I GET A TWENTY?
I just got news that 4chan /mlp/ banned Anonfilly posting. I'm triggered
>>32794Waiting for GM's responce to the check
>>32808Uh, how many are there?
>>32810Kek, 28 including the Game
>>32794Nothing hidden, though there's some unrolled swag on those robey guys that we'll determine later.
>>32811They said it was pedo
(It was a little bit pedo.. but not ban-worthy)
>>32813*grabs ambiguous swag*
*grabs robes*
>>32813Uh, Torc tries the one he killed Korak in, walks until he would be out of the fortress, then returns back to the game
>>32811>>32812This is what I saw
>>32817There's an /mlpol/ staff discord? Oh you faggots,....
>>32818How did you think we communicated?
I can't do this tonight, I need some sleep for once.
Tume to put that 20 cliff jump roll to use
>>32822*pokes with sharp stick*
"That was a lot of trouble you've put us all through. You're lucky you've got a wife willing to go so far for you, or you'd be toast by now."
Deliberately does not move to un-ducttape the bull.
*pokes again*
>>32822"You there buddy?"
Go say hi to new friends on the main board!
>>32820>>32820I'm confused...
>>32823*stands up with fae on my back*
"Shes the most wonderful person ive ever met."
>>32824"hello friend me glad you came, umm what happend to me?"
>>32822>punch"You're supposed unconscious!"
>>32827"You tell us, bull. You ran out of the entertron, teleported, and somehow made your way to the Court City."
*jabs with stick again*
>>32829>>32828"It must be the power of love.." she says in a half-deamy, half-annoyed tone
>>32825*humps leg*
>>32829>>32828"oops"
*closes eyes and badly pretends to be knocked out*
>>32827"Whatn't there like a worm or somethin'?"
>>32829What's this about a message in discord?>>32831*pets pony*
*skins triceratops out of boredom*
>>32834>Not finishing a leg hump or responding to being pet>>32835"Uh... wanna help us kill shit? Torcuil kinda screwed the pooch and got us trapped in here"
>>32836>Torcuil kinda screwed the poochDon't blame him. We were all equally faggots, for those two whole hours it took to kill Dick Cheney.
>>32833I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about
>>32837This
>>32838Aside from the initial, its been a clusterfuck. Blame for EVERYONE!
>>32838I thought the second guy was still there and that Cheney could have been the one to cast the finger of death.
*Puts hand on pony, and assumes a solemn expression*
"Little pony.... Remember Milky? Remember Maria? You may have to now add Anonfilly to that list..."
>>32839Anon28 told me you talked to him, but whatever if you won't admit it
>>32840No, Cheney was not magically skilled. "The other" cast the finger of death on le trash man.
>>32840quit samefagging
>>32840[sad pony noises]
*sighs*
"She's an irredeemable faggot in filly's clothing, but she doesn't deserve that..."
>>32842*hugs pony*
"No... no she doesn't"
*holds Tracy tight*
Whispers in her ear
"I like her orange"
>>32843"I like her orange"
THIS.
>>32841*Confused Paladin Noises*
>>32845i think hes saying you are anon 27.
>>32846I don't think thats what he's saying. I know
what he's saying, and I'd gladly detail a response in discord if I could figure the %$&*@#! program out, but now is not the time nor the thread.
>>32847You could PM me in rabbit if you want to talk about it
>tfw GM had a great encounter for us tonight, but it got messed up because the whole party got frozen cowering before Dick Cheney Like a bunch of retarded pansies
I think I've got a hunch of who "H" was.
>>32850Herbert Walker Bush? Or... Satan herself???How could I have guessed that H would do exactly the thing that I would do in that circumstance when she found out we were there (retreat to a more defensible position)? As soon as I knew our cover was blown and there were death spells, I couldn't think anything except 'oh fuck.'
>>32850Just remembered this song after having not heard it in a couple years. It just feels like it's specially made for Tracy
To Tracy:
[YouTube] Goodbye Stranger (2010 Remastered)
[Embed]
>>32797I still fucking hate Tracy's ethereal hax. I hate it I hate it I hate I hate it\r
>>32855>tfw i want anonfilly as my apprentice now
>>32855It feels so good to say that...
>>32858I just restored that post from shadow delete like three minutes ago. How the hell did you notice it so quick?
\r
>>32859im good at noticing things.
>mfw I've never been this cold for this long before
>>32862>Remove bitch germs from body.
>>32866>>32855Seriously though, why is that? I haven't used it for any malignant fuckshitery since just after the Korak fight.
>>32865*removes duct tape and offers naked bull Dick Cheney's clothes and hammer*
*removes horns from triceratops*
>>32866>>32867Hard to say, but probably because it seems like such a significant and unfair advantage. The fact that it was introduced in a way that suggested impurity and corruption, and especially because it was used malignantly in the first few weeks, cemented it as negative in my mind. It makes me upse every time I see it
>>32868am i allowed to wake up yet though? if not just put cheneys clothes on me.
>>32870>was used malignantly in the first few weeks>weeksOh come on. That only happened in one session.
>>32871*dresses bull in the zombie's clothes*
For that matter, this would be his first set of armor.
Why doesn't your character wear any armor anyway? That's one of the best parts of casting Divine Spells instead of Arcane ones. I'd get it if you were playing a Barbarian (Minotaur's favored class), but Clerics should wear armor, because it sucks if the healer is the first to die/get wounded.
>>32872He's got giga epic super arm bands that give him an additional strength bonus almost equal to your base attack bonus, besides a ring of regeneration that sort of removes the point of not getting hit. Let there be some balance in there somewhere
Posting Alignment Memes, because I feel like it and I'm bored.
Here's to the most Ebil alignment.
>>32876I thought Thez took those back.
Also, having strong arms won't prevent you from taking damage.
>>32878yeah i think she did.
>>32878He doesn't have them at present. And no it doesn't but I'm talking about larger issues of balance. He does have the ring.
>>32876Dicks evil suit is nice though.
>>32877Lawful Evil is best alignment though
>>32882>>32877Plebs chaotic good is best.
>>32880>issues of balanceOh screw that Bolshevik nonsense. We're all on the same side here.
>>32884Unironically this.
>>32884Even if that were true - and it isn't, we fight every session - it still bothers me
Of course, I think the players should have one hell of a lot fewer buffs to make the game generally more difficult and enemies relatively tougher
>>32886i think it makes for a good story element.
>>32882The Alignment of Dominators.
>>32888>mfw checking my own trips.
>>32887>fewer buffsWtf?! No! Just buff the enemies to make them stronger. There is no upper limit to power.
>>32891>>32887Buffs are good though.
>>32891>>32892I don't like it. And I'm serious that the Etherealness drives me insane
>>32883For the rebels with no self-restraint. It's a fun Alignment.
>>32893What do you not like about increased buffs? There's always stronger enemies to fight.
>>32893why dont you ask for something to balance it out?
>>32895It makes sense for progression to happen eventually, but for a lot to happen at once just makes things more difficult for the future. like how Twilight was made a princess at the end of season three, yet the show goes on for seven or more seasons. It also makes keeping the actual balance far more difficult because of how things scale or how nerfs are situationally applied. It makes it too easy to introduce a Glimmer
>>32897>caring about being overpoweredYou'll only feel "overpowered" if you're fighting the wrong enemies. That feeling goes away as soon as you face something stronger than you.
I don't see a problem. Just keep throwing out stronger enemies. I don't care about "balance" so long as I can keep getting stronger and fighting more powerful enemies.
I dream of attaining Abomination-tier powers and keep fighting monsters of increasing danger.
Besides, don't worry about being "too strong" when it took the party two fucking hours to work up the courage just to face freaking Dick Cheney.
>>32899#5 scares me on a primal level.
>>32897>too easy to introduce a GlimmerI don't see how that's an issue. I've wanted to kill her since I heard those ebil foreshadowing voices refer to her as "lady glimmer", and it wouldn't be gratifying unless she were powerful.
(unless she's at the bottom of a long, dark, spooky staircase, and I'm halfway through a university project and can't pay attention...)
>>32874Is he going to wear the armor though? Because putting armor on a character takes time, and the characters are in a hurry.
*puts tattered pants on bull*
>>32902yea he would wear it,but now might not be the best time to put it on.
>>32901>that pici really want anon filly as an apprentice now.
Also, does the Undetectable Alignment spell obscure a characters's Aura? If so, Both Trumpaladin and Infernius might want to cast it as soon as they can (was going to mention this to Trumpaladin's faggot earlier, but I forgot because I was busy).
>*Tracy makes a grim remark under her breath about the scent of white-knights being so overwhelming that she could sense it from a mile away*
>>32904>implying infernuis is a hwite knight
>>32904>mile away60 feet. That's the limit. And only certain select spell casters can detect it, and most importantly they have to actively be looking for it.
*is in a very grumpy mood*
>>32905>impying he's notHe has the same aura though. It's Overwhelming. Trump's is just as strong.
>>32906It was an exaggeration.
>actively looking for itI'm sure they are now..
>btw"Flashy, take this stick."
>>32907Yeah I know, I'm just pissier than normal. A mod was complaining about something so I went to make change in configuration, but then the config didn't work, and I had to wait for a dev. That and I'm behind on so many things.
Trumpaladin asks Tracy "what is this" before touching it
>>32908*holds out stick*
It's a long-ish object made of bone, with a little jibbernigger skull at the end of it. Take it.
>Anon takes 15 minutes looking up the item catalog because he's scared.
It won't do shit to you. Take the stick.
>>32910>looking it up in the item catalogMaybe if I weren't in class. I was just going to have him refuse the stick, but fine
Trumpaladin threatens to hurt Tracy if the stick hurts him in someway, and then takes the stick
>>32911Well, I'm in a hurry too, so I'll just tell you that it's the Summon Monster I Wand that I had Tracy make weeks ago. Next time you're in a situation like last night, just summon a weak-ass monster as fodder if you're intent on waiting to see what comes next. A monster takes a round to summon, and last two rounds, although it'll die in one hit. It has 50 charges.
You can only summon the good ones though, because summoning an ebil creature counts as casting an ebil spell and breaks Code.
>>32914Tracy cage=Hannibal lecter
>>32915Not so long as she's
my stalker she's not
*curses stalker*
>>32915Not while she's carrying a baby she's not. She has a future to think about now.
>>32916>>32917What if the curse gets transferred to the baby?
>>32918>what if literally anything happens to her babyThen you will have your Hannibal Lector.
>>32920
i will. still unconscious.
>>32921You're staying unconscious. Too bad there's only one healer now
>>32922explain why you did it and what activates it, and might consider not doing it.
>>32924It's activated only by eating human flesh. I did that because its abominable, and a husbando should not be the prey species of a waifu or mother. It's just too far.
Besides, he'd otherwise have to police her and mistrust her and break up with her if there is no deterrent, but with an active mark he can trust her and not need to break up with her. This is the easy way
>>32925i can see why you did it.
>>32925You do realize that the curse doesn't actually stop her from doing it, right? It just puts consequences on the action.
>>32927why does Tracy feel the need to eat humans?
>>32925>>32929then why is there a curse in the first place?
>>32929By that I mean, there is no need she feels, unless she just randomly feels hungry for hands some time.
>>32930Trump's faggot thought it was necessary
>>32927Of course. That's why it's called the Mark of Justice. It's not there to stop evil, just punish it after the fact. Not to save, but to avenge. It still makes his job easier. If ther is no successful deterrent and the curse is removed after being activated, the mark will show through the fur and he'll know it's not going to work out.
>>32933Where was the post you wrote it out again?
>>32931maybe don't eat hands? lyra.
>>32935I'd rather just collect them.
>>32936promise to not eat any hands (at least) while pregnant.
>>32937I won't promises anything.
I might just do it anyway because he had the audacity to use a curse for it.
>>32937There is no reason at all to remove it
>>32937Promises are meaningless if there is no incentive to keep them
>>32938i cannot in good conscience remove the curse then, i'm not on either side
except the foals.
Whatever then. I'll just have her eat every sentient creature that isn't hoo-man.
>>32942that seems like a fair compromise.
>>32944
i get that i do, but what if it hurts the foal?
>>32943>deleting posts that make you mad
>>32945It won't hurt her kid. I'm confident in that much.
>intentionally trying to break shit in game because of being mad, even though you also tried to curse him, and try to control him
Shut up you hypocrite, and just play the game
>>32949No. The reason is that I hate being told/forced what to do, so I'm going to do everything in my power to do the opposite of what your trying to make me do.
I even said earlier that I wouldn't have her eat hoo-mans, but you found it necessary to have him curse her anyway; so now I'm going to have her do it.
And yes. I did try to curse him (although controlling is another thing).I make no excuse, and I'm not sorry.
>>32950You've been trying to boss my character around for months. And you've been successful. You have actively attacked and lied to and stolen from me and every party member. You need to learn that if you are to do anything in a group, you have accept that you are, at some point, going to have to give in to the desires of other people on something, just as you force them to give into yours.
>>32951My benevolence ends where the cursing begins. If I'm going to do something or refrain from doing something, it'll be by my own means.
>>32950You fucking stabbed our characters and flipped out in a hissy fit when they sang around non-real birds. You control our characters all the time. No, you can't do just anything you want
>>32952Okay. Can you get over this and not blow up the next session?
>>32953You can call me a hypocrite, but I'm going to defy this curse, just for the sake of defying it.
>>32954>not blow up the next sessionThat goes without saying. I'm not salty enough to try to make the game less fun.
>>32955You do that I'm singing to your birds or killing them outright
>>32956You can sing to them. They're only fragile in the first couple days.
>>32956you touch those birds there will be consequences for you.
>>32958Make consequences for her you hypocrite
>>32957They remain fragile to swords forever
>>32959i will when i deem it necessary, by hurting or killing the birbs you are directly effecting me.
>>32960The birds don't effect you in anyway at all. If anything you can eat the corpses or have the feathers afterwards
>>32958Idk why he hates them so much. Rearing a Roc is like having a B20 in medieval times, and Tracy has two.
>>32962Just don't be a faggot and don't break a mark for the sole purpose of breaking a mark
>>32961i'm not letting you hurt the birds, because uncle adi would say its wrong and call you a degenerate for even thinking of doing it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_welfare_in_Nazi_Germany
>>32964Just stay out of this. This is personal between the two of us
>>32965no,once it started involving the birbs it became my buisness.
>>32966If the two of us cannot settle this or many other disputes then this game will NOT, and CANNOT continue. Now step aside, let us settle this, and then we can return to our regularly scheduled program
>>32964Dieties have class levels, right? I think Hitler would be a Ranger.
>>32967as long as you vow not to harm the birds.
>>32968Look, if you hate curses, fine. No more curses. But you cannot pretend that you can just be spiteful and malicious deliberately without it fucking up everything for everyone. If you try to break the game in this way
neither me nor you will be continuing. Now learn to get along so you can continue your mean posting and item creation and whatever
>>32970>without it fucking up everything for everyoneAs far as I understand,
you are the only player here who thinks any of this needs to have in-game consequences, even for things your character never saw.
>>32884Snap! Fistandantilus AND Raistlin AND Strahd in the same party? The others are irrelevant.
>>32972Great. Then don't intentionally defy an in-game curse because you want to be spiteful. I've had enough of your deliberate efforts to make the game less fun by starting shit in-game. So help me God, I will give you out-of-game consequences for doing that shit
>>32974I'll do whatever I feel like. Curse or no curse.
>>32975Do you feel like continuing the game?
Okkay
>>32878>>32879She more took possession of them to keep them from wandering off and eating someone.
>>32886Please, this is the first party that hasn't literally started murdering eachother.
"Except for,...."
That was a long time ago.
>>32891That was the plan
>>32900But #2 is awesome
and #4 "again?"Quick segway, Trump is the only player in my entire experience of D&D who has ever been allowed to wear TWO sets of armor at once, as well as wielding the two most epic weapons that anyone in the game has seen. Just saying. Oh, and he can cast holy word.
>>32912Awww, that's sweet
>>32921Oh wake the fuck up already. I was going to have you somewhat spellbound, but nevermind.
And again, I end my catching-up period in a face-palm
>>32977Good evening.
>facepalmSorry...
>>32977leave me spellbound.
>>32979That's inconvenient
*jabs with stick*
>>32980its up to the gm though.
>>32982>404What did he mean by this?
I am indeed alive
>disapointed sighs from all players
You ain't getting rid of me yet
>>32986i love you,full homo.
>>32985TOP. FUCKING. KEK!
>>32986You know that scene from "No Country for Old Men" where the main character stumbles upon a group of like 20 dead people who had been engaged in a drug deal, but every single one of them was murdered in a fight between the two sides? You're going to do that one of these days
>>32987Thez twiddles the ring on her finger, made out of Infernius' horn.
"Any other questions?"
>>32989luckily for you i dont like haggis.
>>32990>Torc's faggot logs on"Hey guys sorry... I'm... late... fuck"
>Trump has died from falling of Tracy during space sex and kept rolling 1s>Tracy rolled multiple 1s, cauing her to fall on her knife 23 times shouting "ET TU TRUMPUS? THEN FALL TRACY">Infernius pissed off Thez and Hitler at the same time, causing both to kill him at the same timeAnd thats how I'll log on to find everyone dead
>>32994i would be more scared of thez than hitler desu.
>>32996U should be, Thez will keep you alive.
>>33000>>32999>inb4 tracy stabs you, then leg humps you
>>33000>>32999>not specifying "freedom"*glues self to leg*
>>32998"me glad you came to get me thez."
*manly tears*
"me am so glad me met you!"
>>32994>Dies from space sexI am okay with this
>>32999>>33000>>33001>>33002*Wobbles forward, appreciating newfound freedom, if somewhat inhibited in walking*
>>33003She rolls her eyes. "Keep it together big guy. Of course I'd come for you, you're mine to claim. Still, we're not out of the woods yet."
"Where are we again? I shouldn't have brought that flask..."
>>33002>>33004Keks
No Trump, you die from falling a terminal velocity from space
>>33006*small bear(bull?) hug*
*sets down thez*
"does anyone have a weapon me can use?"
>>33007Wobbling over to Torcuil, Trumpaladin says "On a Catwalk deeper in the facility. Near interrogation rooms"
>>33008"We nabbed a war-hammer from Dick, otherwise there's this,..." she says, twirling a double-bladed Glaive, made using the staff (broom) and the blades (also broom) she's used before, except all in one singular package.
>>33009>wobblingKek
"Ah. so, Does anyone have fucking plan before I fuck everything up like always?"
>>33011"The last of my will is gone. Do as you will. I have nothing"
>>33010"two blades? uh me not sure i can use that."
>>33011"me have no idea whats going on, or where we are,"
>>33014*offers Dick's hammer*
>>33013"Fucking pussy"
>>33014A glaive is a pole arm, Imagine a long stick with 2 blades at one end
"Hmm, Thez any thoughts?"
>>33015"Hard to say. But I am out."
*sits down on the catwalk, since no other course of action seems desirable*
>>33017"It's hardly the circumstances. I've been wearing down for a very long time now. Slowly drained."
>>33013>The last of my will is gone. Do as you will.[sinister plotting intensifies]
>>33020>rape>>33019"You know, thats very un-leader-like for someone who always acts like our leader.
What would Trump say if he where here?"
>>33014I think you misunderstand. Its got two blades (like a battle axe) except they're straight blades instead of curved.
>>33019Thez sits down next to him.
"We
have been at it for about 3 mos straight, most of the weekend and sparsely throughout the week. I've been thinking of asserting a recess myself"
>>33021*gazes dreamily*
[affectionate pony noises]
*nuzzles*
>>33023"me love it."
>>33023>recess>mfw
>>33022"To you? My guess is 'you're fired' after that stunt you pulled last night. But more seriously, he'd say 'why the hell did I think becoming president at age 70 was a good idea"
>>33024*pet's pony, but it's with that sort of reticence he always has, like he's uncertain*
>>33023*hugs Thez deeply*
>>33025>>33027Same
Maybe would could just shitpost until Christmas, have some character interaction and buildtheir relationships with each other, finalize some character sheets and shit then pick up the campaigning afterwards?
>>33026"Sorry, it was a fucking mistake."
>deeply*bigly
>>33027I have four law school finals in the next nine days and all of this drama and fighting drains me emotionally
>>33029Well good luck on those
>>33025>>33027"Oh don't look at me that way. I'm not saying "No moar game!", I'm suggesting maybe taking a weekend off. The game is supposed to be fun, but not at the expense of other responsibilities or obligations. I'm particularly guilty of that last bit, desu."
>>33028>>33029"This. We'll still have thread, and I can whip up a decent escape (Court City remaining unresolved, as I had hoped it would). We'll still have thread to bantz and fun/shitpost, but I could use a weekend that isn't,... decided/spoken-for, and not just me either."
>>33033That's bullshit, but do it anyway.
>>33032Then its settled, LET THE SHITPOSTING COMMENCE
>And my computer will be fixed this weekend so will be nice>>33034Unless you are alergic
>>33032>escape>Court City remaining unresolvedSo then, where are we going to leave off from now until the next session resumes?
>>33026>In four months of the game, this is the first time my character has shown Thez any fondness*hugs bigly*
>>33038>>33039"Well, there was,... nevermind."
Hugs >rapily.
>>33037That depends. The idea is still new, but I can think of several ways to approach it. I could cinematic-ish an escape, or we could table the current situation as being "unresolved, but resolved enough that we could assume that later on we'd be shitposting or w/e back at the port/tower/etc.".
Surely you've seen episodes of a series that didn't fit with the episode before or after, this could be one of those situations. In context, its almost Hearths Warming,.... Xp
>>33032>>33037Please. You know damn well I am going to come back with not just the full party, but my Generals, the 15 Spartans, the Gestapo, Slovenia's Trebuchets, Pirate Mercenaries with cannons, Baz, Baz's entire Sparintenar Army, Kiynen if she can be bribed, Korak? and whatever else I can find to burn this city to the ground, kill its inhabitants, and build a new city in its place
>Logistics>Implying I'm not autistic enough to think out medieval campaigningWe have the chopsticks for food and a Paladin for disease. Any thing else can be taken by horse or Ox. I assume there is a road, so four days march if at low speed and maybe two days at the fastest.
>>33039>>33038*bull hugs the group*
>>33035*extends chain*
"Get over here!"
*pulls into group hug*
>>33040>"Well, there was,… nevermind.">Hugs >rapily.*Attempts to contain jealousy*
>>33039"Oh ye fooking softys..."
Torc wipes away some tears and joins the group hug.
>>33041OHH I LIKE MILITARY STATEDGY
Can I help, Torc IS an admiral thanks to Infernius
>>33040I'd pefer cinematics
>>33040>Surely you've seen episodes of a series that didn't fit with the episode before or afterThose drive me insane, but I'm absolutely fine with that.
>wanted to collect moar body parts though..
>>33041>medieval campaigningOh, don't you wait. I haven't been encouraging/participating in city-development for shits and giggles. There's gonna be a mass-war at some point.
>>33044Please, you've had Thez how many times? So she had one dude,.... Besides, its not like she was a virgin to begin with,... hell can get,... involved.
>>33047>mass-warSounds like fun.
>>33048You say that, but the whole city will be in play. The Gestapo, the Generals, the Fight Club, Sechs and co, the crazy chinese lady,....
>>33049>the crazy chinese ladyOkay, now I'm scared..
>>33047still doesn't change the fact infernuis is jealous, the love of his life and only woman hes ever been with banged trump. hes forgave but he will never forget.
>hell can get,… involved.ow muh heart. why is hell the worst place ever?
>>33047>mass-warTime to buy a copy of "The Art of War" an read up on mility stratgy
>hell can get involvedYeah, hell might, but does she get involved with Death?
>>33040Oh this isn't sexual. This is genuine affection
>>33051He really shouldn't be jealous. Trump loves him more than any member of the group. And he can bang Infernius too
>>33052Kek, well played
>>33051Alright, I'ma blog-post here for a sec. The young woman whom I am committed to was my 3rd sexual encounter. I don't mean partner, I mean
encounter. Lets just say that she's,... more experienced than I am.
Tl;dr I can't change her past, but I can decide how I approach our future. I've thought to be jealous, but I realized its a fruitless disposition.
>>33055>Trump loves him more than any member of the group. [jealousy intensifies]
>>33056Your blogpost confuses me so I have elected to ignore it
>>33057Kek
>>33056counter blog-post.
>tfw kissless virgin at 21.
>>33059And? I didn't lose my v-card until 25. The game (no pun) is not yet decided.
>>33058If one eats a delicious meal, does it matter that others have eaten the same delicious meal?
>>33060Tfw am forced to be a warlock against my will.
>>33060>processing>processing>processingOH, now I understand
>>33061>against my will.>implying
>>33060Oh I beg to differ. That girl from high school I damn near married, I discovered had had sex with her boyfriend of a couple months on one occassion before I took interest in her. The sex was pressured, arguably rape, and it's clear she didn't enjoy it, but I was still driven mad by the fact that I was a virgin and she wasn't. I definitely care.
>>33059You're only 21? Damn I wish I were young again
>>33060If it's literally exactly the same meal, yes, yes I do care. That's disgusting
>>33057She has potential. Mostly if Infernius falls in his eyes
>>33064I'm trying to be metaphorical here, don't read
too much into it. Also
>young$10 says I've got you beat.
>>33066Oh I know it's metaphorical. My answer is exactly the same.
>got you beatOh I am absolutely certain you do
>>33066>>33067I'm staying out of both these conversations
When is the party teleporting out?
>>33068>idea proposed 1.5 hours ago>wants it naoI'll get back to you in a day or so
>>33067Well, in today's society one will be hard pressed to locate a 'pie' that hasn't been 'tasted', let alone had a piece taken out of it. This begs the question, is the goal a 'whole' pie, or a 'mostly whole' pie that is delicious?
>>33069>Well, in today's society one will be hard >pressed to locate a 'pie' that hasn't been >tastedi wish Hitler won.
>>33069Fine,
I'd rather have a really good pie missing a slice or two than a whole meh pie
>>33071but riddle me this what if the pie is full of coal aids?
>>33070You say that, but you display a gross nescience of sexual culture in WW2 era Germany
>>33071That's essentially what I'm getting at. Individual results may apply.
>>33072Sounds good if you want coal aids
>>33069>This leftist nonsenseI'm going to have to agree with the hyper-Catholics I went to college with. Take a whole, delicious pie, and cum inside it without a condom.
>>33072Tracy is already immune to cool aids
>>33075If you can pull that off, more power to you
>>33072Fair point, I'll give you that
>>33075Kek, I was talking about actual pie.
Thanks to you fucking bastards I'm hungry
>>33077*shudders all over your fucking leg*
>>33079Kek
With this thread, better hungry than horny! XD
>>33074Please enlighten me then senpai.
>>33082To my understanding, the disposition in Germany before/after WW2 was that a woman's responsibility was to engage in sufficient sexual activity before marriage so to guarantee the ability to please their eventual husband.
>>33081Now for the real question, what kind of pie do you guys like?
>>33083They were all trying to get pregnant asap though.
>>33080reeeee>>33083The fuck kind of leftist revisionist history have you been reading?
>>33084>inb4 poontang pieSweet potato
>>33084Blueberry tarts.
Also, Apple.
>>33088This...
>>33083
>>33084I don't understand the question.
Seriously, I don't know of you're being literal, figurative/suggestive, w/e.
Boston Cream, or Neatly shaved/trimmed but not bare.
>>33086>>33088>>33089That comes care of a pair of crochety old fuckers. Its the closest to 'first-hand' reference I have. It could be false, but the degree of detail was,... convincing.
>>33087>>33089Lemon Meringue
>>33090Kinda hard to shave a pastery
>>33091Wuz allowing for nuance of terminology
night fellow faggots
>>33092Fair enough
>>33081I disagree. In the words of Diogenes "if only I could soothe my hunger my rubbing my belly"
>>33084I don't really like pie, or eat it much
>>33085>Tracy Cage manages to achieve one of her major life goals within a week of arriving in the gameWell played
>>33090Oh I'm sure there was all sorts of whatever going on, since the moral decline started in the 1920s, but it couldn't have been anywhere near as bad as 1980
>>33093Night
>>33094>goalsI seem to recall you insisting I participate in getting Tracy hitched to Trump,... which happened,....
>>33094*Rubs belly*
What's your character's goal? Does it allow for settling down with his family in a happy, traditional marriage?
>>33095I think that might have been me...
Sorry i was an,emo fag tonight, i didnt take dr.jews prescription today. I think i might go to sleep if its just shitposting.
>>33097Power, especially over more subjects
Glory, more so from world building than from combat, but combat is nice too
Praise, he likes adoration from subjects the most
Sex, preferably from more partners
Wealth, mostly for financing the above, but it's nice to have nice things
The spread of the one True Faith
The elimination of all threats to the Order that allows his version of society to prosper
Love - genuine affection from those close to him
Elimination of dangerous elements that cannot be trusted
Not necessarily in this order, but it's not a bad approximation either
>Does it allow for settling down with his family in a happy, traditional marriage?Probably, yes. Trumpladin would prefer the Islamic style of marriage, but he can be persuaded into other traditions, like Brigham Young's style of Mormonism
>>33101>just wants to beat his wife
>>33101Y U no just become LE already, so we can cut the LG bullshit?
Fug, I gotta sleep
>>33103Shhhhh, he's building suspense
>>33101>would prefer the Islamic style of marriage*Visible disdain*
>>33102Am confused. Do you mean domestic violence is more important to him? Tracy has been a distraction from the real goals, even if an incredible annoying and persistent one
>>33103The Paladin image really helps with his appearance. And it's more fun to kill people in the name of God and Justice and Truth and Good than it is for pretty much any other reason, except probably revenge
>>33105Fine. Mormon, but with one hell of a prenup so she doesn't take her one-sixth share of his property in the divorce
>>33107>domestic violence>shitpostalso we are SO not bringing conventional marriage laws into play
>>33108Well of course not. Trumpaladin gets to write his own marriage contract. He's leaving nothing out of the Art of the Deal
>>33107>Paladin imageMeta Question: Can NPS actually tell our class levels just by looking at us? Because I'm fucked if that's the case.
Do they even necessarily know what the classes mean?
>>33117I didn't think so.
The reputation of a character should be defined by their actions, right? Aside from their observable skills, actions, and context/environment, the roles of PCs should only apparent to the NPCs by what they say/do.
>>33118That's not entirely accurate either, I'm sure rumors have spread and we've gained some renown.
Do the Epic Bonus Feats that the bottom of a class list still require the appropriate prerequisites?
>>33119That's what I meant: it's factor of reputation.
Also, when it was said that Vadereim was a banner sword for killing "Infernals" did that mean Devil's and other creatures of hell, or fiends in general (as in, Demons as well)?
>fiends in general
this i think.
>>33121I thought so.
So then, would Tracy's Command ability apply to fiends in general as well? Nightmares don't have any category other than Fiend (the combination of Outsider and Evil).
>>33122I'm not sure, I'd be best to ask gm about that. But it seems like it would.
>>33123It'd be pretty nifty to Command other Fiends for the time it takes to slay them. Tracy has an monstrous number of hit dice in that form.
>>33124>inb4 this triggers Trumpaladin.
>>33124yeah it would be a pretty cool thing for you to have demons mind controlled.
>>33126Well, a Paladin having a Fiend as a mount is already pretty haxx: that kind of convenient trick wouldn't normally be possible, due to the Code for Cohorts.
>>33122>>33124I want to argue with this,but I'm not sure I can. It looks like Tracy could probably mind control almost every type of fiend, including many Devils, succubi, hell hounds, and a list of other things.
>>33128not just any type of fiend either, but a cauchemar nightmare. That's taking one of the more powerful monsters and giving it what is basically the strongest prestige class you can give a monster.
How many ranks in concentration does Tracy have? If she's being ridden, she needs to succeed on a DC 21 concentration check to make it work
>>33126Oh fuck off
>>33139
We've been bullshitting this game the whole time, Mr. Two-Suits-Of-Armor. Anyway, this isn't D&D; it's Mixed Nuts.
Besides, it's just a wet dream for now.
>>33134
>>33138
>>33130
STOP DELETING IDEAS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON"T LIKE THEM!
if you dont stop deleting post i swear to god infernuis will kill him self then ill stop posting itts
>>33144
IKR.
It was just funposting. Idk why it's so harmful for anyone to see.
>>33143Stop trying to use that Jew blood cheat to ruin the game. Be grateful that you now have a character with twice the HP of the rest of the party. Don't use it as a freaking shortcut to Godhood
\r
>>33146then YOU have to deal with thezs wrath.
>>33148>ruin the gameWtf?! How does that ruin anything? If the characters get stronger, so will the enemies.
Regardless, that's no excuse to just delet ideas you don't like. You've been doing this for months, and it's insufferable.
>>33151i know its been pissing me off bad, but ive been keeping my mouth shut.
>>33152>ive been keeping my mouthI haven't been so much.. but he just delets whatever I say anyway.
>>33151And you've been abusing the hell out of this for months. Stop it
>>33154>abusing the hell out of this for monthsWhat is "this"?
>>33154why does it trigger you so bad?
>>33156Why does post deletion trigger you?
>>33157because you are censoring me. stop acting like a kike.
>>33158Nigger, if I were censoring you, I'd just ban you. It's way easier and more effective
>>33159>still acting like a kike.
>>33157Because you're trying to suppress literal
thoughts that offend you by covering them up, like you think they'll just go away if you stop others from seeing them: That's thought-crime in it's purest form.
Also, it's infuriating to have a conversation with someone deleted like that. What if other players would've wanted to talk about it too?
>>33160Calm your tits. You lost nothing, except your composure. Quit acting like you're so harmed
>>33162>You lost nothingThe posts are still deleted. The topic has been effectively derailed.
>>33161Jesus, you don't need to use the Jew blood haxx to ascend to godhood
>>33162you've been doing this for months i've asked nicely for you to stop several times.
>>33164blame gm then. hes the one that lets us do ANYTHING.
>>33165Fine. I'll try to stop
It's very difficult not to when you have the power...
>>33164>you don't need toIt's a FANTASY GAME. I don't do things because I "need" to; I do it because I want to.
Regardless, don't delet our fucking posts justr because you don't like the implications of the propositions made. We were mostly just waiting for GM to shoot us down anyway.
>>33166Don't blame GM. It's his Game, and he lets us do cool stuff because it makes The Game more fun.
>>33167to quote a nerd: with great power comes great responsibility.
>>33168It's not more fun for me
>>33168I wasn't literally saying blame gm i was trying to make a point that he can do anything he wants too.
I think we can all agree that everyone doing anything they want is not conducive to happiness...
Fuck it. I'll just repost everything, and we can put this behind us and continue
>>33170Really? You wear two suits of armor for no reason then? You'd rather have to prepare your Divine spells at the beginning of each day instead of spontaneously casting? You didn't enjoy killing half an army of Demons by Tweeting? You would've preferred having a standard warhorse mount, instead of a magical beast that could fly and speak common? What about the epic-tier talking Sword you got at the beginning of the game? You'd rather have to faithfully follow the Paladin's Code to its fullest extent and be rigidly Lawful Goo, instead of having a meme-alignment tailored to you for keks? Did all of that stuff make the game less fun? I thought it was cool.
All those things made The Game more fun for me, because it made the gameplay more interesting and gave it more potential. I don't care who gets cool buffs, so long as they're doing cool shit with them.
For example, Torc can spontaneously cast every spell on the list if he finds a meme good enough: that's broken as fuck, but nobody has a problem with it because it makes The Game more interesting and his memes make us laugh.
>>33173How so? That's the point of fantasy: doing whatever you want.
>>33176I was referring primarily to meta and out of game
>>33177Now I'm even more confused.
thats it im done!
*infernuis sets himself on fire untill hes dead*
i would say its been a pleasure but that would be a lie.
>>33174I'm fine with some but please let's have some limits somewhere. Tracy being able to mind control almost all fiends because of haxx is fun. Achieving godhood and having to worry about all of the implications because of haxx is not
>>33180Just get over it and move past it with the rest of us
>>33180Please don't...
>>33181It was just a meme-tier idea; it probably wouldn't work anyway. Why would you delet a harmless conversation like that? Were you afraid it would actually happen or some shit?
>>33182It's a
CHRONIC problem! You do this every other week! How is anyone supposed to get past it if you keep deleting their posts?
>>33179>>33178I mean to say that Tracy's faggot being vindictive in in-game actions against other players to piss off their faggots, or GM not being careful as to where D&D rules are adhered to and where they are not, or me deleting posts, are all cases where we may want to do things that are within our power, but do harm
\r
>>33183>were you afraid it would actually happenYes
>this is a chronic problemYeah I know
>>33180Please don't go...
>fondly remembers better, if somewhat humiliating times
No further posts? Okay...
>>33120Both
>>33122No
>>33128Ya think?
>>33146True False
>>33148"Uhm,...."
>>33166>>33168I did say this was supposed to be an exercise in creativity,....
>>33174>talking swordAnd who he never bothers to talk to OR get drunk
>>33180Whoa now, is that for real?
GM, remember how you joked I would log onto the party killing itself?
I didn't think it would happen so soon...
>>33190I'm surprised it took this long desu
>>33191I mean, I'm not suprised, just stunned by the fact of us making the joke yesterday and then it happening while I was gone.
The real suprise is that Trump hasn't killed Torc yet
>>33174Plus, half the time I can't think of a good fucking meme. So that nerfs it quite a bit
>>33193No worries. I've been kinda anxious to kill anyone so far, I didn't want it to be discouraging. With the features in place, it wouldn't amount to anything more than 'cant do stuff until "fixed"'. I'm not the sort of GM to straight off characters with no recourse, and I'm rather pleased at the thought that the situation might result in violence. I am waiting to hear more on Infernius' end (that fire was a nice effect, but he regenerates,... so character-wise he just made himself suffer needlessly), but I wouldn't mind if characters started literally attacking each-other.
>>33194>inb4 Mixed Nuts: Civil War
>>33196Would NOT be the first time!
Um... Am I allowed back in?
>>33198Don't ever delet anymore of our posts itt.
>ominous bagpipe playing from the hills
So, is anyone gonna die or should I put away the bagpipes?
>>33201Idk if anyone's gonna die, but keep playing the bagpipes.
>>33200Not to take sides, but this. While I'm not to agitated about it, that players
are gives me pause.
>pic mostly unrelated
>>33200Um... Okay...
I - I - I'm sorry...
>>33203Moderators are an Always Neutral Evil race. How could you all have forgotten that?
>>33204You won't do it anymore?
>>33209Can you promise in kind to work with me?
If you guys don't come to a resolution soon I'm gonna fucking post the entire bee movie script
>>33210>in kindI shouldn't have to tell you this this at all, Anon, let alone make promises for you to do it. You shouldn't be deleting people's posts like this,
ever. I grew kind of numb to it, because you do it to me all the time, but my patience ends when you start deleting entire conversations between characters.
>>33210>work with meIdk wtf it is you find necessary that I'm not already doing, but maybe I'll give it a shot. Regardless, you shouldn't be deleting people's posts like that, whatever motivation you might have.
>>33212So... Is your position still "fuck you, I'll do whatever I want," or can we negotiate on things?
>everyone left
Shitposting time?
Mods are asleep post Glimmer
[salt-mining stops]
Oh well, I'm going to bed...
>>33214While occupied, I haven't left anything. I'm observing.
I lied; I never sleep. I'm just too tired to post.
>>33189I still don't like Tracy's free etherealness, flying, and fire abilities
Yes, lets talk about Deez Nuts.
>ppl post here rather than /mlpol/
Wrong, try again. Everyone who participates here prolifically posts on Mlpol. It should be obvious since the whole "flag-fag" issue hasn't been resolved, that everyone who has contributed to the "Nuts" (read: gay bathhouse) threads have frequently and readily posted in any/all threads on every other board. I get "not getting it", but anything else is blatant misrepresentation.
>thurrs too much autism
Nazi-horsefucker board, try again.
>we shouldn't divide the boards, /mlpol/ and /sp/ r Mlpol
/sp/ IS another board. As is 1ntr, as is /ub/. /sp/ started as a hidden board to shitpost and trial shit from.
>this post was prepared in advance of some deliberate shit-posting
>>33220Trips says it's justified
>>33222That's not me trying to force a response. I just wanted to take trips and I didn't really feel life taking it with anything else
>>33221I have more information on posting habits, but I should probably stay silent
>>33223Of course you do, but I'm speaking from personal experience. I can state with certainty that the participants ITT are comparatively prolific posters, given the average/general pace of any board, or any
thread other than these. I get that anons want the board to have the same level of activity that this/these threads too. I'll say it again,
I do too. I can identify with the want to merge/adjust the situation with /sp/ or /ub/ even.
Having said, I think these threads have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt - or comparison
combined - where the literal and consistent activity can be found at. I don't claim that RP threads in general or this one in particular should be the focus of Mlpol (INDEED no) but to deny the observable, consistent (we're talking months at this point) and objective evidence, I challenge again any calls to eliminate /vx/ or the threads herein, in favor of,... whatever idea it is that anon may be convinced of in theory.
>>33224Well, I can see we have very different ways of looking at it. First, I don't really agree that Nuts hasn't resulted in a lot of the ills associated with Generals. I also think it has resulted in at least some users being less prolific posters than they would be otherwise.
But as regards merging the boards, I guess I have a more "realist" approach. It won't happen, and I say this not out of faith in what is beyond my control but out of faith in my own power. Almost every board is some particular staff member's pet. And it's much easier to stop a new board from being created than to delete an existing one.
Then again, as I was writing this, I discovered that /cyb/ had been de-listed, so I am less sure
>>33227..Y-you're still playing, right?
>>33228mornin.
>>33229potently.
[1d20+14 = 20]
Sleight of Hand to take Torc's chopsticks and help self to ramen.
[1d20+14 = 28]>>33233*Enjoys ramen*
Sleight of Hand to return sticks without him noticing.
[1d20 = 4]>>33234>>33233sleight of hand to shit into his robe without him noticing.
>>33235He totally noticed that, m8...
Pretty sure he gets an attack of opportunity for that too, with his cattle prod.
[1d20 = 20]>>33236rolling for him
>inb4 20
>>33237why am i not surprised.
>>33238That had to paralyze you...
>>33241What were you rolling for?
Whatever it was, you fucked up.
>>33242saving throw.....
im pretty sure my heart explodes.
>>33243>mfw Infernius got his ass handed to him while his opponent's faggot wasn't even hereNext time, leave the sneaking to the Rogue.
>>33241>>33237>>33241>I felt something happening in the meme-realm>log on to this
>mfw I am so addicted to mlpol, sitting through the four hours it takes for an exam without checking the recent 25 is torture
>>33247>offers meat"Roast beef?"
>>33233>was going to make remark about "not taking superior Trump™ Brand Angus steaks from husbando>realize they will be married eventually>realize that under common law marriage, the wife is an extension of the husband. All property is communal>Tracy can't "steal" anything from Trumpaladin, because anything she takes into her possession is his
>>33251
>>33251
>>33251
Reeeeee
>>33253Torc fed trump a piece of me!
Reeeeeeeeee
>>33254What use do you have for it if you are dead?
You did say your heart exploded
>>33256Not really, i rolled a 1.
>>33256>Infernius set himself on fire moments ago, but survived because of regeneration>Would've literally been roast beef
>>33257Nice flag, are we all going back to standard flags?
>>33259I think that's a new IP
>>33259>>33260I got some teeth pulled today,im home now.
>>33261This is why you needed to BRUSH EVERY DAY.Alright then.
So, where does the party leave off from here?
>>33262i know, im regretting it now.i guess we are back at the tower.
>>33264[happy pony noises]
>>33264ban that faggot brit.
>>33265D'aww, I love Tracy being cute
>>33266Done.
*brushes teeth*
\r
>>33267i hope you pass man.
>>33233You'll need to roll a 1d2. Rolling a 1 means you end up with an extra pair of chopsticks.
>>33263Technically everyone's still at Court City, but that's cuz I was waiting to hear from you before deciding what happens next.
>>33266Faggot brit? Do you mean
that faggot brit, or did I miss something.
Lastly:
>>33225>less prolificHardly, this thread keeps me glued to the site, and I usually have one window in thread, and the other window on Home or Overboard, refreshing every few minutes. One can tell by the flags that Infernius and Torcuil's players post regularly, often during active game sessions. The only ones I can't comment on are Tracy's and Trump's, being both burgers.
>generalsI'm not sure I follow, unless you're talking about dedicated anons and lots of bread filling up the catalog. The alternative would be to take the game entirely to an off-site resource or program, which I'm not unwilling to do but would defeat many of the salient purposes.
Also if Infernius didn't keep playing, Thez would probably kill everyone, at least once.
"I'nis!!!!" flying tackle-hug.
>>33269a brit was being a fag in the anon filly thread.
>>33270"aw me love you too ~Gilly <3"
>>33270>warmed to Thez>is now cold again
How long has Darkie been alone in the Entertron? A week in game time? I wonder if he's ready to talk yet.
>inb4 nobody feels like doing it and the poor bastard has to wait there another week
>>33273About three days in my estimation of game time
Wait. That's wrong. Maybe four days?
>>33272Oh, you'd have been fine in the aftermath. Have I mentioned I don't do the standard -1 Con for every resurrection?
>>33269>1d2They're connected, aren't they?
I just want to clarify, for future stealing.
>>33277Yeah, I noticed that, but I've still been careful about not-dying..
>>33276Make him wait another two>>33278Rude
>>33278The Chopstick is a singular item. When its broken in two, you find yourself holding 2 pairs of unbroken chopsticks. One makes instant noodo, the other makes more chopsticks.
>>33277Reeeeee. It's the thought behind killing or not that matters. I haven't any players, though I've been sorely tempted to. Also, I've been extremely careful not to die
>>33280Kek, why not?
>>33280Not [i]just from him.
>>33281i want anon filly as an apprentice.
>>33281*chopsticks are
Basically its an item that duplicates its self, and can provide nourishment on the go. It also allows GM to troll a bit if bad dice rolls.
>>33284Now when you say that, do you mean
you want anon-filly as n apprentice, or do you mean Infernius wants,... cuz in that case, you would be Infernius' apprentice,....
[1d20 = 3]>>33283>stealingOh yeah? You think you can steal?
*steals pony*
>>33286Uh... Can we add my attack and strength bonus to that? +21
>>33287Nope, stealing is a Dex-based skill
>>33284>>33285Hey Torc already claimed her as his daughter
[1d20 = 19]>>33286helps steal pony
>>33289But what I am stealing is a pony. Functionally I think that is accomplished by a grapple
>>33292Kek, you gotta good roll there. I want to keep the murder horse though
>>33291He's talking about Anonfilly, not Norfilly,... who is either sleeping adorably or gathering sticks for
the most epic fasces ever>>33293True, that requires a grapple AND a pin.
>>33295shes all yours, i was just assisting.
>>33297
Max dex bonus of +1 cuz full plate, the swank suit weighs and counts as clothing.
>>33299It has to be hot and stuffy as fuck though.
>>33300You better believe it!
33333 get imminently detected
>>33301It should be for something other than this general, desu... It's absorbed too many GETs..
[1d20 = 20]>>33298D'aww thanks
>>33296Pins pony
By the way, if we're going to rape characters, is that a grapple and a pin? What are the rolls for that?
>>33301>rapes thezi gotta sleep boys the trauma of having teeth ripped out of your skull tires a guy out.
>>33303Wait, are you really going to do it in the dungeon, right over Duck Cheney's freshly-stripped dead body?
>>33305>Going to bed to avoid the consequences of believing he could possibly >rape Thez
>>33303>20Oh so stolen
>rape requires 1 a successful grapple, 2 a successful pin, and 3 a successful,... insert (with a negative modifier, cuz if its >rape, they're struggling against it)so 1d20, 1d20, 1d20-4
>>33305I know those feels. Stay classy
>>33307Oh, she would roleplay the shit out of it, but yeah it wouldn't be rape.
>>33294>>33296>I'm this retardedI'm blaming bred lag
>>33305Night
[1d20 = 20]>>33304*licks her right back*
He's got her pinned underneath him
>>33306I like to think of it more as an industrial shop. Dick cheney's body should be in the other room. But basically yes. Thez, Infernius, Torcuil, and Fae can all watch
>>33308Hell yes she's stolen
Role to
>rape
>>33312*Grows to full size*
*Drags them both over Cheney's corpse*
*Is small again*
Get used to it; it's part of being married.
>>33314>>33312>*Gets """>raped"""*
>>33314>>33312Torc breifly considers riping his eyes out.
He then decides to pull his hood over his eyes and starts chanting "lalalalala I am not dealing with this fucking bullshit today"
>>33312>20 on a Rape rollOH HELL YES
>>3331520 on a pin roll and 20 on a rape roll means she ain't going anywhere. He now has more strength than a Nightmare. But they can move
so Fae isn't watching - again to be polite to Tracy.
>>33315>*Cums inside pony*
>>33316*Is deliberately noisy about it*
>>33317You do not have more than 31 Str. And Tracy makes sure that Fae has to watch the whole thing.
>>33318No, but the die roll suggests that in this particular moment, he leveraged his strength with more finesse, efficacy, and form than Tracy did, thus overcoming her stupid-high strength
>>33318"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Torc begins banging his head against the wall
>>33319[Deliberately loud hoers nightmare]
Fae still has to listen though.
>Tracy is making sounds like a locomotive, whistling dual streams of smoke.
>>33321So is this before or after escaping the Court City?
>>33322Idk anymore...
Regardless it's really fucking loud. Like sitting behind the engine of an old-fashioned coal-powered train.
Does that cause any immediate problems?
>>33318>>33319Tracy only has full Cauchemar strength via Paladin's mount, which is activated by being called or mounted, which is not what happened here. If you're claiming strength from Nightmare alternative form, that has 18 strength, which is high, but Trumpaladin has 20 with Thez's girddle
Regardless, if the goal is to be obnoxious to the rest of the party, Tracy's best option is to be remain right where she is under him on the catwalk, a few feet away from Torcuil and Fae
>>33323Not that I know of, just making an effort to maintain some semblance of continuity in the ebin escape story.
>>33324>lewdbut true
>>33322Aparently before
>bread sprouts mold
>>33324She's nearly as big as a house in that form
>Bigger = more annoying
>>33327Its mid-week, no need to bake now. (besides, I wanna break the threads record Xp)
>>33324She's nearly as big as a house in that form
>Bigger = more annoying*~Choo-choo!*
Is anyone still up?
>Is lonely
>>33331Lurking flagfag tripfag reporting in.
Do you liek mudkips?
>>33331There's a pony stream,... Xp
>>33334DA EBINS!!! Good sir, you are most welcome
>>33335>MobileLetting someone borrow the laptop..
>mfw Ebin has no character
>>33329Well thats fine and fucking dandy, but I can barely fucking post. I guess I'm gone
>I took me ten minutes to type this cause lag>>33334>spur soundsThere is only room for one shitposter round these parts
>>33343Aren't you getting >raped?
>>33344No, that's Tracy, although it's not actually >rape.
>>33342You don't
have to, u can just shitpost if you want. Having said, the consistent theme is for a player (you) to come up with some idea of a character that they might play, who was awesome and distinguished to some degree that they were brought back upon their death, because some entity somewhere decided that they were too awesome to just "die". Meaning, every character has already died, and finds themselves "here".
>>33343Hrmmm. Okay, when you put it that way.
>>33344Not at the moment, that's Tracy who's getting >"raped" (its not really rape, she likes it)
>>33344Nah Torc just has to witness it
>>33348Doesn't make him feel better
>>33347>>33345I see.
>>33346>You don't have to, u can just shitpost if you want.I can be a wild card.
>Having said, the consistent theme is for a player (you) to come up with some idea of a character that they might play, who was awesome and distinguished to some degree that they were brought back upon their death, because some entity somewhere decided that they were too awesome to just "die". Meaning, every character has already died, and finds themselves "here".So, where is "here"?
>>33349is it because he secretly enjoys it and doesn't want to?
Is Trump's faggot still here?
I'm tempted to have her sit on him.
>>33328I don't think we should take the "huge" monster size class on the cauchemar form too seriously. The article is self-contradictory. It also says that the Cauchemar is "the size of a light warhhorse," which is to say, the size of a 900-1200 pound riding horse, in the same article. A mount that is as big as the "huge" monster size is pretty useless anyways. You couldn't get close enough to an enemy to hit it with a sword, you couldn't take it indoors or in tight streets, you'd be limited in mobility, logistics, and many otherways. It would take more than a round to mount an animal the size of an elephant, whereas a draft only takes a standard action. The magic of an outsider can solve many of those problems, but not all of them. To be sure, something like an elephant as a mount has very clear advantages under many circumstances, but is not very good as general heavy calvary.
To be frank, the smaller riding horses are actually superior to draft horses as calvary. Draft horses really were only used as prolifically as they were because of the desire to armor riders and armor horses, thus the strength was appreciated, but the agility and other benefits of smaller horses like Arabians meant that these horses replaced drafts in combat as armor became useless.
I think the most natural interpretation of the Cauchemar is that it is draft horse sized, but so powerful that it has many of the features of a huge sized animal, ad should be treated as a huge sized animal for the purposes of hit die and monster advancement, but is still onlt a 1900 pound 17 hand horse to the guy who wants to mount her
>>33343This. I can't really post because of lag
>>33350>*MountsTracy, so she can be more annoying to Torcuil*>>33352\r
>>33353Nah, I like her YUGE. And reach isn't a problem.
>>33350THE BRAKES HAVE BEEN STOLEN
>>33351Hes a fookin 37 year old cave NEET, with a sense of desency.
He fucking hates it
>>33350>sekret enjoymentYes
>hereUhhhhh,... in general its a mishmash of existing D&D rules and forms and established structures. That's more just to ease the introduction of additional elements. Basically its a fantasy free-for-all.
>baking
>>33354I get the point though.
>>33355Well, good for him.
>>33356>Uhhhhh,… in general its a mishmash of existing D&D rules and forms and established structures. >Basically its a fantasy free-for-all.I see.
>>bakingI'm starting to get the lag too.