Thread number three. Last one is apparently at bump limit.
Previous thread: >>336928 →
I'm lazy so I'm just going to copypaste the OP text from the last one since it still applies. Important bits have been bolded for emphasis.
Basically all that is said in that OP applies to this one but I'll go through the 'rules' of this thread here as well.
So, the main point of this thread is to facilitate and enable Anons' writefagging; in a similar way pride facilitates and enables aids.;^P The Anons in this thread can be separated into two camps: Anons who wants help with their writing project(s) and Anons that feel inclined to help those aforementioned shrek-colored skinheads.
Crafting and beta-reading is what we do here, any critique of literature not made by a guy submitted for this thread should be incidental; it should be when you —as a beta-reader of fics posted ITT— make a comparison between the fic your reviewing and some other story for the sake of demonstrating your point, whatever it is.
This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.
Read this again, because it's important:
This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.
I hope that I haven't scared anybody off. This is still suppose to be a chill af thread. Funposting is very much allowed and encouraged. It really is more that some type of posting —like, things that are completely irrelevant to the thread— does not belong here. I know, rocket-science and a rule that is seldom seen and highly unique for this thread. Perhaps you could call it a... Novelty. (You) intelligent lurker, obviously get the subtext of this OP so you probably won't need to worry about any of this. I'd say if you're unsure if what you're about to post belongs in the thread, then post it anyway. The worst that can happen is that someone tells you to move it to another thread and you get a better insight of what post belongs in thread. If you consist on fish and chips, however, I'd suggest you think twice on what you're posting and perhaps even ask beforehand if your rant about lefties and Undertale belongs here.
If there are any questions on the OP, ask away?
/mlpol/ - My Little Politics
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345 replies and 201 files omitted.
I am double-posting this text from NHNB:
>Back in September, we had a Writefag General thread on /mlp/, in which a friendly writing contest was proposed:
>Theme: Nightmare Night
>Word Count: 10,000 words max
>Due Date: October 13 (due date has been extended)
Archived original thread: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40277733/
>Current active thread:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40420593
NHNB thread with the same links:
https://nhnb.org/fim/res/16593.html
>I am creating this thread as a backup where links to contest entries can be posted in case the /mlp/ thread dies. In the event that this happens, whoever creates the new thread can repost these links in the OP. This way we are guaranteed to have all contest entries preserved, in the event that an Anon disappears or didn't save their work locally or something.
I do not claim personal ownership of these stories except the one I wrote, which I already posted, I am just the archivist.
Entries so far:
The Countess by Anon:
https://ponepaste.org/9409
Night of the Autumn Moon by DFW:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/544043/night-of-the-autumn-moon
>Back in September, we had a Writefag General thread on /mlp/, in which a friendly writing contest was proposed:
>Theme: Nightmare Night
>Word Count: 10,000 words max
>Due Date: October 13 (due date has been extended)
Archived original thread: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40277733/
>Current active thread:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40420593
NHNB thread with the same links:
https://nhnb.org/fim/res/16593.html
>I am creating this thread as a backup where links to contest entries can be posted in case the /mlp/ thread dies. In the event that this happens, whoever creates the new thread can repost these links in the OP. This way we are guaranteed to have all contest entries preserved, in the event that an Anon disappears or didn't save their work locally or something.
I do not claim personal ownership of these stories except the one I wrote, which I already posted, I am just the archivist.
Entries so far:
The Countess by Anon:
https://ponepaste.org/9409
Night of the Autumn Moon by DFW:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/544043/night-of-the-autumn-moon
>>368287
Writer of The Countess here (from the writing contest mentioned above). Would it be obnoxious if I posted my story here? I'm not normally on mlpol, so wanted to ask so that I don't ruffle any feathers. Thanks.
Writer of The Countess here (from the writing contest mentioned above). Would it be obnoxious if I posted my story here? I'm not normally on mlpol, so wanted to ask so that I don't ruffle any feathers. Thanks.
>>368360
You're welcome to post it here, I notice it was also posted on NHNB.
Also, I made a new thread on 4chan:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40446932
You're welcome to post it here, I notice it was also posted on NHNB.
Also, I made a new thread on 4chan:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40446932
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>>368242
Thanks for the ants. They a cute. I like the first one the best but I also like the fourth one.
U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
>>365190
Regardless, feel no preassure. U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like. I know u know this but just a reminder. Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u. Feel free to end postpone this if u don't feel up for it right now. Though, at the same time u also don't need to worry about quality either.
So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
Thanks for the ants. They a cute. I like the first one the best but I also like the fourth one.
U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
>>365190
Regardless, feel no preassure. U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like. I know u know this but just a reminder. Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u. Feel free to end postpone this if u don't feel up for it right now. Though, at the same time u also don't need to worry about quality either.
So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
>>359392
Just downloaded the ZIP. There's a lot to go through. Which do you think would be most helpful for writing first person narrative?
Just downloaded the ZIP. There's a lot to go through. Which do you think would be most helpful for writing first person narrative?
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>>368432
Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything in that collection that specifically focuses on first-person writing. You might try this:
https://self-publishingschool.com/how-to-write-in-first-person/
I haven't read it closely, but it looks like a decent guide from what I can tell.
You could also try one of these commercial books I found, just search for title/author on Amazon:
>Who Says?: Mastering Point of View in Fiction by Lisa Zeidner
This one actually looks fairly promising, and it's only like ten bucks. Or, if you'd rather have something that (((echoes))), you could try:
>Trauma in First Person: Diary Writing During the Holocaust by Amos Goldberg
As far as where to start with the ebooks in my collection, the relevant question is about experience and how much technical help you need. If you've never written or have barely written anything, and you need a complete noob-level guide to getting a story started, I would say start with one of these:
>The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel
>The Guide to Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction
>The Everything Guide to Writing a Romance Novel
These are basically top-level guides that will show you how to map out a story from start to finish. The ones about fantasy and romance are more specifically tailored to those genres, but can still be helpful even if you're trying to do a different sort of story.
This one:
>The Everything Creative Writing Book
is more of an overview of creative writing in general, but is still worth going over. You can pick and choose the sections that are relevant to you.
Honestly most of the "Everything Guide" ones are at least worth skimming, even if you're not trying to write the specific type of thing a given one deals with. Not everything will be directly relevant to what you're trying to do, but odds are there will be something in there you can use at some point.
Next up:
>The Plot Whisperer
kek This one goes into a lot more detail about plot-mapping and timing events correctly. I recommend doing this after reading one or more of the top-level guides, though if you're reasonably confident you could probably also just start with it. It also comes with a book of writing prompts (different book in the same collection), which I recommend actually doing:
>The Plot Whisperer Book of Writing Prompts
Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't call attention to these:
>The Only Grammar Book You'll Ever Need
>Grammar Sucks
>Style and Circumstance
>Roget's Thesaurus of Words for Writers
Grammar is not a super-exciting subject to read about, but if you struggle with it, the grammar books all do a good job of explaining it. I wouldn't say any specific one is better than any of the others, although "Grammar Sucks" is probably the most enjoyable to actually read. The thesaurus is just a good one to have on hand. Disclaimer: the Ezn guide on fimfiction [ https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide ] is also quite good and covers pretty much everything you'll need to know in the way of grammar, and will take less time to read. His non-technical and more subjective advice I can take or leave, but in general it's a good guide. Also, a thesaurus is kind of an outdated tool at this point since you can just google synonyms, but it's still a good idea to have a decent one on hand. Same with some of the dictionaries that are in here.
If you're pretty comfortable with the nuts and bolts of writing and want to try something a little more advanced, this is probably the one in this batch that I've personally gotten the most use out of:
>Write Like Hemingway
Disclaimer: this book references Hemingway a lot. If you don't like Hemingway or don't give a shit about Hemingway or don't know who Hemingway is or don't care who he is, you're gonna have a bad time. This book references many specific stories that he wrote, and in order to know what the hell it's talking about you'll want to also have "The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway" on hand which unfortunately for you I only have in print (no ebook). I think quite a few of his stories are on project gutenberg, though. Anyway, the advice here is more abstract and deals with building technique, but if you want a challenge I'd recommend it.
Also noteworthy:
>101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists
>A Cup of Comfort for Writers
There's not a ton of super-detailed help in here, these are more just tips and tricks that will help with attitude, mindset, etc. 101 habits has a bit of practical advice as well. There are some other books in this collection that are also like that but these were the two that stood out for me. Some of them veer into hippy-esque spiritual territory that may or may not be up your alley (The Tao of Writing is the one I remember being like this).
>The 1-Minute Writer
This one has some decent prompts and exercises you can try.
>The Bibliophile's Devotional
Some good classic book recommendations to thumb through if you're looking for something to read.
The books that are specifically tailored to screenwriting and getting yourself published you can probably ignore unless you're interested in those subjects. The rest are just books about oddball subjects like dealing with writer's block (Write.), setting up a physical space to write in (A Writer's Space), or are specialized dictionaries (the ones titled after the seven deadly sins). These you can skim through at your leisure.
Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything in that collection that specifically focuses on first-person writing. You might try this:
https://self-publishingschool.com/how-to-write-in-first-person/
I haven't read it closely, but it looks like a decent guide from what I can tell.
You could also try one of these commercial books I found, just search for title/author on Amazon:
>Who Says?: Mastering Point of View in Fiction by Lisa Zeidner
This one actually looks fairly promising, and it's only like ten bucks. Or, if you'd rather have something that (((echoes))), you could try:
>Trauma in First Person: Diary Writing During the Holocaust by Amos Goldberg
As far as where to start with the ebooks in my collection, the relevant question is about experience and how much technical help you need. If you've never written or have barely written anything, and you need a complete noob-level guide to getting a story started, I would say start with one of these:
>The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel
>The Guide to Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction
>The Everything Guide to Writing a Romance Novel
These are basically top-level guides that will show you how to map out a story from start to finish. The ones about fantasy and romance are more specifically tailored to those genres, but can still be helpful even if you're trying to do a different sort of story.
This one:
>The Everything Creative Writing Book
is more of an overview of creative writing in general, but is still worth going over. You can pick and choose the sections that are relevant to you.
Honestly most of the "Everything Guide" ones are at least worth skimming, even if you're not trying to write the specific type of thing a given one deals with. Not everything will be directly relevant to what you're trying to do, but odds are there will be something in there you can use at some point.
Next up:
>The Plot Whisperer
kek This one goes into a lot more detail about plot-mapping and timing events correctly. I recommend doing this after reading one or more of the top-level guides, though if you're reasonably confident you could probably also just start with it. It also comes with a book of writing prompts (different book in the same collection), which I recommend actually doing:
>The Plot Whisperer Book of Writing Prompts
Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't call attention to these:
>The Only Grammar Book You'll Ever Need
>Grammar Sucks
>Style and Circumstance
>Roget's Thesaurus of Words for Writers
Grammar is not a super-exciting subject to read about, but if you struggle with it, the grammar books all do a good job of explaining it. I wouldn't say any specific one is better than any of the others, although "Grammar Sucks" is probably the most enjoyable to actually read. The thesaurus is just a good one to have on hand. Disclaimer: the Ezn guide on fimfiction [ https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide ] is also quite good and covers pretty much everything you'll need to know in the way of grammar, and will take less time to read. His non-technical and more subjective advice I can take or leave, but in general it's a good guide. Also, a thesaurus is kind of an outdated tool at this point since you can just google synonyms, but it's still a good idea to have a decent one on hand. Same with some of the dictionaries that are in here.
If you're pretty comfortable with the nuts and bolts of writing and want to try something a little more advanced, this is probably the one in this batch that I've personally gotten the most use out of:
>Write Like Hemingway
Disclaimer: this book references Hemingway a lot. If you don't like Hemingway or don't give a shit about Hemingway or don't know who Hemingway is or don't care who he is, you're gonna have a bad time. This book references many specific stories that he wrote, and in order to know what the hell it's talking about you'll want to also have "The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway" on hand which unfortunately for you I only have in print (no ebook). I think quite a few of his stories are on project gutenberg, though. Anyway, the advice here is more abstract and deals with building technique, but if you want a challenge I'd recommend it.
Also noteworthy:
>101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists
>A Cup of Comfort for Writers
There's not a ton of super-detailed help in here, these are more just tips and tricks that will help with attitude, mindset, etc. 101 habits has a bit of practical advice as well. There are some other books in this collection that are also like that but these were the two that stood out for me. Some of them veer into hippy-esque spiritual territory that may or may not be up your alley (The Tao of Writing is the one I remember being like this).
>The 1-Minute Writer
This one has some decent prompts and exercises you can try.
>The Bibliophile's Devotional
Some good classic book recommendations to thumb through if you're looking for something to read.
The books that are specifically tailored to screenwriting and getting yourself published you can probably ignore unless you're interested in those subjects. The rest are just books about oddball subjects like dealing with writer's block (Write.), setting up a physical space to write in (A Writer's Space), or are specialized dictionaries (the ones titled after the seven deadly sins). These you can skim through at your leisure.
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>>368386
>U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, Rave Smite is now a penguin with a twelve inch dick.
>U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, this collab is now a deep-lore fantasy epic with over 9000 pages of complicated backstory.
>So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to not crash this plane with all the survivors.
> Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to try and have this done by October 31st.
>U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, Rave Smite is now a penguin with a twelve inch dick.
>U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, this collab is now a deep-lore fantasy epic with over 9000 pages of complicated backstory.
>So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to not crash this plane with all the survivors.
> Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to try and have this done by October 31st.
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I love rewriting posts...^^
>>367741
>>367744
<I don't care
>Uhm, why are you back again?
Im in my Sven cycle, where I feel bad over previous things I have said, so let me just clarify this.
I meant that, 'If you don't care for our oponions, why are you back again?'
>>368440
Welp, Ig I'd been told.^^
>1st pic
Which one of your personalities is the Mr. Hyde and who is Dr. Jekyll?
>>367741
>>367744
<I don't care
>Uhm, why are you back again?
Im in my Sven cycle, where I feel bad over previous things I have said, so let me just clarify this.
I meant that, 'If you don't care for our oponions, why are you back again?'
>>368440
Welp, Ig I'd been told.^^
>1st pic
Which one of your personalities is the Mr. Hyde and who is Dr. Jekyll?
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>>368453
Hey Sven, quick update. I said October 31 and we are now technically past that, but I actually expect I'm close enough to being finished that I'll still come in more or less on time and under budget. I've got about 3500 words done that covers a little over half of what I have outlined, so I'm going to try and power through the rest of it today. If I end up falling asleep I will definitely have it finished sometime tomorrow.
Hey Sven, quick update. I said October 31 and we are now technically past that, but I actually expect I'm close enough to being finished that I'll still come in more or less on time and under budget. I've got about 3500 words done that covers a little over half of what I have outlined, so I'm going to try and power through the rest of it today. If I end up falling asleep I will definitely have it finished sometime tomorrow.
>>368677
>"3497. 3498. 3499. 3500..."
"Glimglam-kun why don't you take a break," I say as saunter in carrying a tray of steamy dinner. "You been at this for days now. Surely you can-"
>"Don't you get it, Sven-chan?" he shouts out as he stops mid push-up. "I wasn't strong enough!"
>I only catch a glimpse of his clenched teeth behind his crazy, spikey hairdo.
>I gasp and bring meek hand to my lips.
>A fat-ass demon named survivor's guilt weighs down on him.
"Please, let me help you!!!"
>"No. You would only get in the way."
>My fingers go numb, the tray slip out of them and clatter onto the floor spilling its contents across the room.
"You wanna know what I think. I think you act like you know the know but you don't know, you know?"
>Then I turn and run away.
>Glimglam-kun listens to me run away before going back to his training.
>He has a melancholic smile on his lips.
>"Don't worry I'll obtain the power to protect everyone."
>With renewed vigor he pushes one, literally.
>"3501. 3502. 3503. 3504..."
>"3497. 3498. 3499. 3500..."
"Glimglam-kun why don't you take a break," I say as saunter in carrying a tray of steamy dinner. "You been at this for days now. Surely you can-"
>"Don't you get it, Sven-chan?" he shouts out as he stops mid push-up. "I wasn't strong enough!"
>I only catch a glimpse of his clenched teeth behind his crazy, spikey hairdo.
>I gasp and bring meek hand to my lips.
>A fat-ass demon named survivor's guilt weighs down on him.
"Please, let me help you!!!"
>"No. You would only get in the way."
>My fingers go numb, the tray slip out of them and clatter onto the floor spilling its contents across the room.
"You wanna know what I think. I think you act like you know the know but you don't know, you know?"
>Then I turn and run away.
>Glimglam-kun listens to me run away before going back to his training.
>He has a melancholic smile on his lips.
>"Don't worry I'll obtain the power to protect everyone."
>With renewed vigor he pushes one, literally.
>"3501. 3502. 3503. 3504..."
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>>368783
Alright, here we go. Sorry about the delay, but I think I did a pretty decent job and the extra time was worth it:
https://hackmd.io/@KrythonOssban/BkjXRn7F2
Alright, here we go. Sorry about the delay, but I think I did a pretty decent job and the extra time was worth it:
https://hackmd.io/@KrythonOssban/BkjXRn7F2
>>368884
I have read it. I recorded myself reading it for the first time and my unevitable commantary or reation to it. It's mostly just me gushing over how much I love it.
Will figure out how to upload it here, I think.
I have read it. I recorded myself reading it for the first time and my unevitable commantary or reation to it. It's mostly just me gushing over how much I love it.
Will figure out how to upload it here, I think.
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Oh, by the way Nigel. Since we both know perfectly well that you haven't really gone anywhere, and that you probably reload this thread multiple times per day just to see if anyone is talking about you, I guess might as well leave this here for you to find. I did in fact read your latest fimfic opus. Congratulations on your clever ruse. Here I was thinking that I've been critiquing your most recent mediocre work, when all along it was just ChatGPT being mediocre on your behalf, and silly me I couldn't even tell the difference. You've trolled me most expertly. Scrambled eggs all over my face.
I remember at one point I told you that I thought you had a lot of raw creative energy, and that you could potentially turn that energy into something great, if only you could figure out how to harness it and make it work for you rather than against you. While I no longer expect you to ever take steps toward actually doing this, for whatever it's worth I do still believe that same potential is in there somewhere. It's buried under a mountain of bitterness, irrational anger and autism, mind you, but it's there nevertheless. So on that note, I will leave you with this one last piece of serious advice.
You invest almost all of your energy into being angry, and most of it is just petty butthurt stemming from internet drama that you yourself created. You're engaged in a constant one-sided holy war against your various "haters" and adversaries, whether it's me, or Chatoyance, or Vril, or that HC Legend guy, or the Glimmerniggers, or whoever happens to be rustling your jimmies at any given moment. You've elevated these conflicts to the level of some kind of Herculean struggle, but really it's just you behaving like a jackass while a couple of trolls egg you on. This is not only an accurate assessment of your entire five-year history on mlpol.net, but it also explains why you were banned from DeviantArt, FimFiction, Reddit, and whatever other forums have banned you.
If you took even a fraction of the energy you invest into being angry at strangers online and applied it towards one of these phantom "serious" projects you keep alluding to, you might eventually make real progress on your goal. I'm still confused as to what that goal is, mind you; sometimes it sounds like you're trying to develop a game, other times it sounds like you want to write an epic fantasy novel. In any case it doesn't matter; I don't personally care, and I doubt if even you yourself have a clear picture of what you're trying to do. Either way, all I can tell you is that if your ultimate goal is to create something serious and marketable, you've got a long, hard journey ahead of you. Doubly so if you're planning to market a work that is explicitly white nationalist. Seriously, bro; if you think I'm a harsh critic, you should send your half-assed drafts about Nazi lion-men to an actual publisher or literary agent, and hear what they have to say.
Based on what I've seen from you so far, I have little confidence that you're up to the task at all. Not just because you consistently produce low-quality work, but because you don't seem particularly serious about ever trying to get any better. Think about it: 2023 is almost over. That's one whole year of your life. You could have spent that time working on your novel, or your game, or whatever your thing is supposed to be, or at the very least spent it working on some small study-projects that you could have gotten serious feedback on and learned something from. Instead, you chose to spend that time stalking Chatoyance on fimfiction, arguing with random anons on this board, and using ChatGPT to generate low-quality MLP fanfics, apparently for the sole purpose of trolling me into reviewing them, which proves...actually, I'm not even sure what you were trying to prove. That I can't tell the difference between the nonsense you shart out and the nonsense a machine sharts out, I guess. What exactly have you achieved?
Look dude, whatever warped perception you have of me or my motivations, I really don't take any of this too seriously. I write stories for fun, I critique stories for fun, I post on this board for fun. I mess with you because it's fun. I don't expect much recognition for any of it beyond a couple of (You)s and maybe a like or two on fimfic. I'm certainly not trying to be the "second coming of the Angry Video Nerd," or whatever you called me btw, for the last time I don't know who that guy is or why you keep bringing him up. I can keep going back and forth with you like this for as long as you want, because for me this is all just goofing around. However, you're the one with the supposedly lofty goals, and for all your bloviating, you don't seem to be any closer to achieving them now than you were five years ago. Maybe you should take some of the energy you expend arguing with trolls and stalking trannies and divert it towards something positive.
Incidentally, have you ever read Sonichu by Christian Weston Chandler? I think you would like it. It has Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog references up the wazoo, and there are entire story arcs that consist of nothing but the author taking imaginary revenge on people who made fun of him online. I really think you'd enjoy it, as many of its significant themes overlap with the topics you seem to most enjoy writing about. Plus, it's at about your reading level, so it probably wouldn't challenge you too much. Just a little nudge to get you started on your writing journey.
I remember at one point I told you that I thought you had a lot of raw creative energy, and that you could potentially turn that energy into something great, if only you could figure out how to harness it and make it work for you rather than against you. While I no longer expect you to ever take steps toward actually doing this, for whatever it's worth I do still believe that same potential is in there somewhere. It's buried under a mountain of bitterness, irrational anger and autism, mind you, but it's there nevertheless. So on that note, I will leave you with this one last piece of serious advice.
You invest almost all of your energy into being angry, and most of it is just petty butthurt stemming from internet drama that you yourself created. You're engaged in a constant one-sided holy war against your various "haters" and adversaries, whether it's me, or Chatoyance, or Vril, or that HC Legend guy, or the Glimmerniggers, or whoever happens to be rustling your jimmies at any given moment. You've elevated these conflicts to the level of some kind of Herculean struggle, but really it's just you behaving like a jackass while a couple of trolls egg you on. This is not only an accurate assessment of your entire five-year history on mlpol.net, but it also explains why you were banned from DeviantArt, FimFiction, Reddit, and whatever other forums have banned you.
If you took even a fraction of the energy you invest into being angry at strangers online and applied it towards one of these phantom "serious" projects you keep alluding to, you might eventually make real progress on your goal. I'm still confused as to what that goal is, mind you; sometimes it sounds like you're trying to develop a game, other times it sounds like you want to write an epic fantasy novel. In any case it doesn't matter; I don't personally care, and I doubt if even you yourself have a clear picture of what you're trying to do. Either way, all I can tell you is that if your ultimate goal is to create something serious and marketable, you've got a long, hard journey ahead of you. Doubly so if you're planning to market a work that is explicitly white nationalist. Seriously, bro; if you think I'm a harsh critic, you should send your half-assed drafts about Nazi lion-men to an actual publisher or literary agent, and hear what they have to say.
Based on what I've seen from you so far, I have little confidence that you're up to the task at all. Not just because you consistently produce low-quality work, but because you don't seem particularly serious about ever trying to get any better. Think about it: 2023 is almost over. That's one whole year of your life. You could have spent that time working on your novel, or your game, or whatever your thing is supposed to be, or at the very least spent it working on some small study-projects that you could have gotten serious feedback on and learned something from. Instead, you chose to spend that time stalking Chatoyance on fimfiction, arguing with random anons on this board, and using ChatGPT to generate low-quality MLP fanfics, apparently for the sole purpose of trolling me into reviewing them, which proves...actually, I'm not even sure what you were trying to prove. That I can't tell the difference between the nonsense you shart out and the nonsense a machine sharts out, I guess. What exactly have you achieved?
Look dude, whatever warped perception you have of me or my motivations, I really don't take any of this too seriously. I write stories for fun, I critique stories for fun, I post on this board for fun. I mess with you because it's fun. I don't expect much recognition for any of it beyond a couple of (You)s and maybe a like or two on fimfic. I'm certainly not trying to be the "second coming of the Angry Video Nerd," or whatever you called me btw, for the last time I don't know who that guy is or why you keep bringing him up. I can keep going back and forth with you like this for as long as you want, because for me this is all just goofing around. However, you're the one with the supposedly lofty goals, and for all your bloviating, you don't seem to be any closer to achieving them now than you were five years ago. Maybe you should take some of the energy you expend arguing with trolls and stalking trannies and divert it towards something positive.
Incidentally, have you ever read Sonichu by Christian Weston Chandler? I think you would like it. It has Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog references up the wazoo, and there are entire story arcs that consist of nothing but the author taking imaginary revenge on people who made fun of him online. I really think you'd enjoy it, as many of its significant themes overlap with the topics you seem to most enjoy writing about. Plus, it's at about your reading level, so it probably wouldn't challenge you too much. Just a little nudge to get you started on your writing journey.
>>368893
Nice, I'm glad you enjoy it. I actually think this story is coming together quite nicely, considering we've just been pulling it out of our asses as we go. I've got some ideas for where it could potentially end up.
>>368681
>Is that Derpy in R'lyeh?^^
Basically, yes. I was having the AI do some 1920s style pulp art involving Derpy and Lovecraftian monsters, in hopes it would generate something I could use as cover art for my NaNo project which I now need to get started on since November is already 1/4 over. I'm not sure if this one works for that purpose, but it's probably my favorite out of the pictures it generated. It looks like a Fritz Lang poster or something.
Nice, I'm glad you enjoy it. I actually think this story is coming together quite nicely, considering we've just been pulling it out of our asses as we go. I've got some ideas for where it could potentially end up.
>>368681
>Is that Derpy in R'lyeh?^^
Basically, yes. I was having the AI do some 1920s style pulp art involving Derpy and Lovecraftian monsters, in hopes it would generate something I could use as cover art for my NaNo project which I now need to get started on since November is already 1/4 over. I'm not sure if this one works for that purpose, but it's probably my favorite out of the pictures it generated. It looks like a Fritz Lang poster or something.
File (): 1DE8F994463062FA11DCE6EC54D3C661-75457.gif (73.7 KB, 292x292, 601963__safe_artist-colon-mayde-dash-m_derpibooru+import_edit_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_unofficial+characters+only_earth+pony_pony_animated_blonde_cute_danci.gif)
File (): 9DE6F5671CA0975B68870EC522CD04C6-147036.jpg (143.6 KB, 1024x1024, OIG (134).jfif)
File (): 9F0FA35BF6D6AD71B830A013DEBFCDA0-480011.png (468.8 KB, 1483x1689, 6252691__safe_artist-colon-shinodage_imported+from+ponybooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-aryanne_earth+pony_human_pony_aryanbetes_behaving+like+a+dog_blonde_blonde+hair.png)
This: https://stlcc.edu/student-support/academic-success-and-tutoring/writing-center/writing-resources/replacing-to-be-verbs.aspx
is something I been practicing lately. Tho, imo, it's secondary to the substance of ur story (what ur story is actually about). Like a drawing of a woman can be a done in multiple ways but we can all tell that its suppose to be a woman if done comptently, uknow?
Still good stuff tho I tink.
is something I been practicing lately. Tho, imo, it's secondary to the substance of ur story (what ur story is actually about). Like a drawing of a woman can be a done in multiple ways but we can all tell that its suppose to be a woman if done comptently, uknow?
Still good stuff tho I tink.
>>369066
It's interesting you should bring that up. I actually got some feedback on the last thing I wrote [ >>368186 ] and one of the things I was told is that I was using far too many to-be verbs. It's not a rule I'd ever heard of or anything I'd ever thought about, but now that I've had it pointed out to me it really does make a difference. I wasn't paying super close attention to on my last installment of the collab, since I was mostly focused on trying to get the chapter done. But I think going forward I'm going to try to give everything I write a separate pass to look for this.
It's interesting you should bring that up. I actually got some feedback on the last thing I wrote [ >>368186 ] and one of the things I was told is that I was using far too many to-be verbs. It's not a rule I'd ever heard of or anything I'd ever thought about, but now that I've had it pointed out to me it really does make a difference. I wasn't paying super close attention to on my last installment of the collab, since I was mostly focused on trying to get the chapter done. But I think going forward I'm going to try to give everything I write a separate pass to look for this.
File (): 052F9927921AD063D73431D5F5426164-14281.txt (13.9 KB, , FxF ch7 plan.txt)
>>369090
^^
Nice. For u I imagine that it will be more useful. I kinda feel like I probably won't apply it much to my writing. It's hard enough as it is, I don't really feel up for putting more on my shoulders. Tho, I have thought about applying your idea of a "second pass" for it, but knowing myself, I probably won't do that anyway, lol.
I also think that I want to prioritize the substance of writing, so like planing, brainstorming, and figuring out the plot rather than the presentation but I do respect the impact it has. I have gotten better at it too ^^, attached is the plan(notes) for my next chapter in our collab.
^^
Nice. For u I imagine that it will be more useful. I kinda feel like I probably won't apply it much to my writing. It's hard enough as it is, I don't really feel up for putting more on my shoulders. Tho, I have thought about applying your idea of a "second pass" for it, but knowing myself, I probably won't do that anyway, lol.
I also think that I want to prioritize the substance of writing, so like planing, brainstorming, and figuring out the plot rather than the presentation but I do respect the impact it has. I have gotten better at it too ^^, attached is the plan(notes) for my next chapter in our collab.
>Be Sunset Shimmer.
>Your phone vibrates against your thigh as it rings.
>You look toward at AJ, who takes another peek out the window before turning back to you and gives you a nod, you answer the phone as AJ does a double-check of her rifle.
"Yes, hello?" You say.
>"Do you know what and who that girl you're harboring is?" A feminine voice growls through the phone.
>You look over at Lemon Zest.
>She is chained up and imprisoned in a wooden constructions of beams that AJ built for her.
>Fluttershy had been hand-feeding her but when the phone rang she stopped eating.
>Lemon reads by your look who is on the phone and looks terrified.
"Yes, I do know," you answer back.
>There's a pause on the other end.
>"Mmm-k? There will be a full-moon tonight. What then? Will you let her run rampant or, will you do the right thing?"
>You grimace your face in disgust.
"We're not monsters like you-"
>"Ah, but the people she'll kill tonight are not your responsibility by not doing the hard, but right choice?"
"We have her caged. She can't even move and inch as is."
>Something about the voice on the phone disturbs you but you can't put a finger on it.
>"Hmph. Maybe. So is this your life now?"
>The question took you by surprise.
"What do you mean?"
>"Well, she's cursed for life y'know. Are you gonna check in on her every month for the rest of your life."
"Welllll, I don't know about that." You scratch the back of your neck.
>"Exactly,
>Your phone vibrates against your thigh as it rings.
>You look toward at AJ, who takes another peek out the window before turning back to you and gives you a nod, you answer the phone as AJ does a double-check of her rifle.
"Yes, hello?" You say.
>"Do you know what and who that girl you're harboring is?" A feminine voice growls through the phone.
>You look over at Lemon Zest.
>She is chained up and imprisoned in a wooden constructions of beams that AJ built for her.
>Fluttershy had been hand-feeding her but when the phone rang she stopped eating.
>Lemon reads by your look who is on the phone and looks terrified.
"Yes, I do know," you answer back.
>There's a pause on the other end.
>"Mmm-k? There will be a full-moon tonight. What then? Will you let her run rampant or, will you do the right thing?"
>You grimace your face in disgust.
"We're not monsters like you-"
>"Ah, but the people she'll kill tonight are not your responsibility by not doing the hard, but right choice?"
"We have her caged. She can't even move and inch as is."
>Something about the voice on the phone disturbs you but you can't put a finger on it.
>"Hmph. Maybe. So is this your life now?"
>The question took you by surprise.
"What do you mean?"
>"Well, she's cursed for life y'know. Are you gonna check in on her every month for the rest of your life."
"Welllll, I don't know about that." You scratch the back of your neck.
>"Exactly,
Hello friends, it's that time of year that indigestion motivation has struck.
Chuck a word salad (story prompt) at me and I'll write approximately 6,000 characters worth of story (~1k words) each day for one week.
Then we cantenderly brutally rip into it to extract some tasty tasy improvements and amusements.
or chuck one of those Choose Your Own Adventure write prompt things with pre-selected choices.
Chuck a word salad (story prompt) at me and I'll write approximately 6,000 characters worth of story (~1k words) each day for one week.
Then we can
or chuck one of those Choose Your Own Adventure write prompt things with pre-selected choices.
>>370065
Sure, tho do promise me u will make time for frens n family on Christmas. ^^
>Princess Flurry Heart brings Anon with her to the Grand Galloping Gala as her plus one.
Sure, tho do promise me u will make time for frens n family on Christmas. ^^
>Princess Flurry Heart brings Anon with her to the Grand Galloping Gala as her plus one.
File (): 3FFC50C17594199C6CA653A6739BD31A-123182.jpg (120.3 KB, 1017x728, 2545464.jpg)
Greetings I am Princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire. Daddy and Mommy finally got me my very own Grand Galloping Gala ticket to go there as my own pony. The enchanted gold says to bring one extra special pony and I can't think of anypony more extra special than Anonymous.
Mommy, Daddy, Aunty, Grammy, Grampy, Grand Aunties and all their friends says so.
Walking up the red carpet to the castle with my plus one that I got to pick on my very own, guests and guards eyes grew wide to marvel at our color coordination. Some too excited by the sweat being dabbed away and calls to freshen up.
At the top getting guests my Auntie Twilight gapped at us. Impeccable choice choosing a swauve colorful ensemble, matching my plus one.
Trotting up to the now short refreshment needing line that has her waiting just for us, "Auntie! I mean, greetings princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria I am princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire and this is the special plus one Anonymous."
He holds up his not-a-hoof waving for a moment, smiling grandly, "Long time no see Purple."
It's then my Aunt says one of the strangest things, "Why are you back?"
Sometimes she gets like this when she misses a checklist. "Auntie, the ticket said to bring the extra special pony and nopony is more extra special than Mr. Anonymous." Still she's on a verge of a Twilight Breakdown, better to stop her Twilighting now.
"You said he was extremely extra special." It's then she snaps and pays attention to our color coordination otherwise why else would she be sweating and her eyes growing even larger. "Repeatedly."
Looming with his specialness over Twilight "Extremely extra special, hunh. You really said that."
Being the extra helpful pony princess I am, I keep going bouncing on my royal hoovesies. "And everypony I've ever met."
That seems to push him away from Twilight like a great gale blowing over a toy boat, "Everypony you've met?"
Tugging on his fancy 'bish pimmpin glove' with magic toward the fun, "Yeah! Everypony! Come on we have to go inside and do gala things. Bye Auntie!"
Auntie makes a whine signaling ending C of her Twilighting as we enter through the giant doorway.
The grand music and all the ponies all talking around what they want to talk about. More importantly all the colors!
Anonymous now keeping pace with you speaks his mind, "So want to introduce me to the ponies who say I'm extremely extra special the most often."
Turning around to face Anon with a scrunch of confusion, "But don't you already know each other?"
He's fighting to not say something then says something entirely different, "Well let's meet up with them it's been a while."
Maybe it's a mistake bringing Anonymous here...
Clapping my hooves we head out, "Let's go find my grand Aunties."
Following, he murmurs. "Them too?"
"We'll do all the gala things and meet up oh that's a good idea!" Finally Anonymous gets in the mood of things and peps up at my words.
Shoes tapping on fine stone flooring, every part dressed up as each pony. None are as dressed up quite like my grand aunties. With both too much and too little. Color matching their regalia and dresses to their hair.
"Grand Aunties!" With they strip down looking at me with fondness.
"Yo sky cheeks." Bare naked, flabbergasted. Quickly they look at each other, making magic sign language too fast to read. Now even more overdressed than before.
Luna quickly goes to hug first, "it's such a joy dear Flurry Heart, but I must go to the watch room." Celestia interjects quickly, "the restroom now sister." Luna strangely instead of biting back agrees, "yes, the restroom not washroom, and a pleasure to see you again Sir Anonymous." Trotting as fast as politely to use the little fillies room. Leaving us and her older sister.
"So the best princess said you called me extremely extra special all the time-" grand aunty's eyes look as if seeing for the first time in amazement "-but let's talk about our first activity." Wow aunty Celestia is shaking in excitement like the banners.
She stops like a pony petrified, "ticket said one extra special pony didn't it-" Grand aunties are real smart it takes all I can to not go bouncing and flying. However she continues redundantly, "and that's an invitation."
She keeps on breaking the flow of conversation, "how did you two meet?"
"Face to face." Anonymous is right, but grand aunty Celestia wants something juicier so she can gossip with all the other old ponies, so I keep going. "It was when I was playing with myself all alone when I saw Anonymous playing with himself all alone." Celestia once again stripping at my words.
Celestia about to shout is interrupted by Anonymous doing one of his not-a-hoof things, "patty cake with an illusion."
"Mhmm. Then we talked about all sorts of stuff and now we're here." Celestia just sighs getting older, banners dead still. "You're our guest..."
He does another not-a-hoof thing. "Sure am hot flanks."
It's my time to shine, "Now everypony did the meet and greet, we can do what I want to do first at the gala." With that Celestia almost looks as she usually does, and Anonymous still looks like Anonymous. "Count the monocles! We'll meet everypony else, but meet back at the dancing area with everypony. Make sure to grand aunty Luna comes too."
We walk away. "Counting monocles?" Oh! Something Anonymous didn't know? "My tutors showed my how to play. I think the fun part is if they match the pony. I've never lost at this game before Anonymous."
He keeps up with me, and I continue, "the cool part is we also keep adding other games and keep track of the conversations we have."
Windows detailing historic events glimmer and reflect off the stone floor, "being early means seeing this view too".
Mommy, Daddy, Aunty, Grammy, Grampy, Grand Aunties and all their friends says so.
Walking up the red carpet to the castle with my plus one that I got to pick on my very own, guests and guards eyes grew wide to marvel at our color coordination. Some too excited by the sweat being dabbed away and calls to freshen up.
At the top getting guests my Auntie Twilight gapped at us. Impeccable choice choosing a swauve colorful ensemble, matching my plus one.
Trotting up to the now short refreshment needing line that has her waiting just for us, "Auntie! I mean, greetings princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria I am princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire and this is the special plus one Anonymous."
He holds up his not-a-hoof waving for a moment, smiling grandly, "Long time no see Purple."
It's then my Aunt says one of the strangest things, "Why are you back?"
Sometimes she gets like this when she misses a checklist. "Auntie, the ticket said to bring the extra special pony and nopony is more extra special than Mr. Anonymous." Still she's on a verge of a Twilight Breakdown, better to stop her Twilighting now.
"You said he was extremely extra special." It's then she snaps and pays attention to our color coordination otherwise why else would she be sweating and her eyes growing even larger. "Repeatedly."
Looming with his specialness over Twilight "Extremely extra special, hunh. You really said that."
Being the extra helpful pony princess I am, I keep going bouncing on my royal hoovesies. "And everypony I've ever met."
That seems to push him away from Twilight like a great gale blowing over a toy boat, "Everypony you've met?"
Tugging on his fancy 'bish pimmpin glove' with magic toward the fun, "Yeah! Everypony! Come on we have to go inside and do gala things. Bye Auntie!"
Auntie makes a whine signaling ending C of her Twilighting as we enter through the giant doorway.
The grand music and all the ponies all talking around what they want to talk about. More importantly all the colors!
Anonymous now keeping pace with you speaks his mind, "So want to introduce me to the ponies who say I'm extremely extra special the most often."
Turning around to face Anon with a scrunch of confusion, "But don't you already know each other?"
He's fighting to not say something then says something entirely different, "Well let's meet up with them it's been a while."
Maybe it's a mistake bringing Anonymous here...
Clapping my hooves we head out, "Let's go find my grand Aunties."
Following, he murmurs. "Them too?"
"We'll do all the gala things and meet up oh that's a good idea!" Finally Anonymous gets in the mood of things and peps up at my words.
Shoes tapping on fine stone flooring, every part dressed up as each pony. None are as dressed up quite like my grand aunties. With both too much and too little. Color matching their regalia and dresses to their hair.
"Grand Aunties!" With they strip down looking at me with fondness.
"Yo sky cheeks." Bare naked, flabbergasted. Quickly they look at each other, making magic sign language too fast to read. Now even more overdressed than before.
Luna quickly goes to hug first, "it's such a joy dear Flurry Heart, but I must go to the watch room." Celestia interjects quickly, "the restroom now sister." Luna strangely instead of biting back agrees, "yes, the restroom not washroom, and a pleasure to see you again Sir Anonymous." Trotting as fast as politely to use the little fillies room. Leaving us and her older sister.
"So the best princess said you called me extremely extra special all the time-" grand aunty's eyes look as if seeing for the first time in amazement "-but let's talk about our first activity." Wow aunty Celestia is shaking in excitement like the banners.
She stops like a pony petrified, "ticket said one extra special pony didn't it-" Grand aunties are real smart it takes all I can to not go bouncing and flying. However she continues redundantly, "and that's an invitation."
She keeps on breaking the flow of conversation, "how did you two meet?"
"Face to face." Anonymous is right, but grand aunty Celestia wants something juicier so she can gossip with all the other old ponies, so I keep going. "It was when I was playing with myself all alone when I saw Anonymous playing with himself all alone." Celestia once again stripping at my words.
Celestia about to shout is interrupted by Anonymous doing one of his not-a-hoof things, "patty cake with an illusion."
"Mhmm. Then we talked about all sorts of stuff and now we're here." Celestia just sighs getting older, banners dead still. "You're our guest..."
He does another not-a-hoof thing. "Sure am hot flanks."
It's my time to shine, "Now everypony did the meet and greet, we can do what I want to do first at the gala." With that Celestia almost looks as she usually does, and Anonymous still looks like Anonymous. "Count the monocles! We'll meet everypony else, but meet back at the dancing area with everypony. Make sure to grand aunty Luna comes too."
We walk away. "Counting monocles?" Oh! Something Anonymous didn't know? "My tutors showed my how to play. I think the fun part is if they match the pony. I've never lost at this game before Anonymous."
He keeps up with me, and I continue, "the cool part is we also keep adding other games and keep track of the conversations we have."
Windows detailing historic events glimmer and reflect off the stone floor, "being early means seeing this view too".
>>370065
Well if I no one else requests anything I will. Missed opportunties guys^^
>RGRE: 10/10 stallion is intrested in marely Anonmare bu Anon's no gay, or straight, or whatever...
Well if I no one else requests anything I will. Missed opportunties guys^^
>RGRE: 10/10 stallion is intrested in marely Anonmare bu Anon's no gay, or straight, or whatever...
>>370086
It was great while it lasted. Don't feel bad, I have left projects many times. ^^
>Be Aryanne.
>Eating your lunch while you and your crew listen in on the Queen Fury Heart's patriotic speech for the ultimate sacrifice for the homeland.
>Then suddenly, the door to the bunker is flung open and in rushes comrade, Teabag Fag, before she spins around and locks and bars the door.
"What's happening?" you say as you grab your rifle.
>She scramble to find her own gun as she looks at you with wide eyes.
>"The zebras," she says seemingly unable to comprehend the possibility of her own words, "they are here."
"What! How?"
>But your line of questioning is cut off as door is reduced to nothing but splinters flying through the air.
>You see teabag getting tossed away by the explosion before you take cover under the table.
>You hear shots and hooves following that enter the bunker.
>You see more of your crew meet their end as they ragdoll onto the floor.
>You flip the table over before popping up and taking aim with your rifle.
>The Colt-Lover 69 does the job and repaints the walls with blood splatter from a pair of striped mares.
>These are good zebras, you think as you look at their bodies on the floor but chastise yourself for not worrying about helping your crew.
>You run over to Teabag, hoping that she might still be alive, when you are suddenly tackled and pinned to the wall.
>A bison, another vile creature sworn to the covenant.
>With a knife in her mouth she's about to end you.
>You struggle against her bulk but its to no avail.
>You mind flashes to your sweet little filly at home, Luftkrieg.
>You will never see her again, you realize, and a tear rolls down your cheek.
>...
>A flash of red illuminates the bunker.
>At first your mind went to all those Con-mane films where at the start he shoots the camera man.
>But then you realize that's some unicorn's magic aura's color.
>So crimson.
>An arching hindleg slashes through the air from close t othe ceiling to down and into the head of hte bison.
>Crack!
>The bison's head is twisted and he just drops onto the floor without any fanfare.
>There's a searing burn mark in the shape of a hoof on his cheek.
>You look down at the horseshoes that did this to the bison and find them burning orange.
>You look up and come face to face with the Daymare herself, Fair Star, also known among the zebras of the Savannah as, Blood Oasis.
>A zinc mare with a white mane and red eyes and red jewel in her horn.
"Thank you," you say with tears in your eyes.
>She nods and then Zap! she is gone in another flash of red.
>You burst into movement, first things first: Is Teabag still alive?
Plot practice:
Aryanne in sand bunker-> Zebras break in->about to die->Blood Oasis tps in and destorys them
It was great while it lasted. Don't feel bad, I have left projects many times. ^^
>Be Aryanne.
>Eating your lunch while you and your crew listen in on the Queen Fury Heart's patriotic speech for the ultimate sacrifice for the homeland.
>Then suddenly, the door to the bunker is flung open and in rushes comrade, Teabag Fag, before she spins around and locks and bars the door.
"What's happening?" you say as you grab your rifle.
>She scramble to find her own gun as she looks at you with wide eyes.
>"The zebras," she says seemingly unable to comprehend the possibility of her own words, "they are here."
"What! How?"
>But your line of questioning is cut off as door is reduced to nothing but splinters flying through the air.
>You see teabag getting tossed away by the explosion before you take cover under the table.
>You hear shots and hooves following that enter the bunker.
>You see more of your crew meet their end as they ragdoll onto the floor.
>You flip the table over before popping up and taking aim with your rifle.
>The Colt-Lover 69 does the job and repaints the walls with blood splatter from a pair of striped mares.
>These are good zebras, you think as you look at their bodies on the floor but chastise yourself for not worrying about helping your crew.
>You run over to Teabag, hoping that she might still be alive, when you are suddenly tackled and pinned to the wall.
>A bison, another vile creature sworn to the covenant.
>With a knife in her mouth she's about to end you.
>You struggle against her bulk but its to no avail.
>You mind flashes to your sweet little filly at home, Luftkrieg.
>You will never see her again, you realize, and a tear rolls down your cheek.
>...
>A flash of red illuminates the bunker.
>At first your mind went to all those Con-mane films where at the start he shoots the camera man.
>But then you realize that's some unicorn's magic aura's color.
>So crimson.
>An arching hindleg slashes through the air from close t othe ceiling to down and into the head of hte bison.
>Crack!
>The bison's head is twisted and he just drops onto the floor without any fanfare.
>There's a searing burn mark in the shape of a hoof on his cheek.
>You look down at the horseshoes that did this to the bison and find them burning orange.
>You look up and come face to face with the Daymare herself, Fair Star, also known among the zebras of the Savannah as, Blood Oasis.
>A zinc mare with a white mane and red eyes and red jewel in her horn.
"Thank you," you say with tears in your eyes.
>She nods and then Zap! she is gone in another flash of red.
>You burst into movement, first things first: Is Teabag still alive?
Plot practice:
Aryanne in sand bunker-> Zebras break in->about to die->Blood Oasis tps in and destorys them
>Be Nurse Goodheart.
>The endless groaning of the ponies in the long tent had mostly ceased by the night came with it sleep even for the pained if sometimes forced through sleeping spells.
>For most med ponies that worked in camp four, the camp aimed at healthcare for the many casualties of Queen Fury Heart's campaign in the Great Savannah, the night brought with the a most needed sense of peace.
>For you, night and day was the same.
>You were good at your job.
>In two ways:
One, you were just good and usually made the right calls, which made for less stress to begin with cause you always knew what to do;
two, you, some part of you was ashamed to admit it, didn't feel the pain of others, that much at least, anymore, so you didn't care enough to be stressed.
>You been at this job in since the beginning of the war.
>Three whole years.
>At first you felt too much and the job broke youu but there were no respite to you.
>Eventually you overcame it but not without cost.
>No it feels like the job can not longer break you.
>At least you can't imagine how it would anymore.
>You seen ponies die, even because of your own ineptitude.
>You have regrets over that somewhere deep down if you stop but you never stop, but you never run either.
>You are more like a machine that does the specific work it's desgined for than a pony, you feel whenever you have time to reflect.
>You wander amongst the bedded and wounded ponies.
>You see a foal start to spasm.
>It seems you time to a be a pony for today has ended; time to be the machine.
Character Practice:
Goodheart has grown numb to the pains of others to her overexposure to others suffering through her job and the amount she has done during the war.
I pulled these stories out my ass, take htem with a grain of salt. I don't know what I'm talking about lol^^
>The endless groaning of the ponies in the long tent had mostly ceased by the night came with it sleep even for the pained if sometimes forced through sleeping spells.
>For most med ponies that worked in camp four, the camp aimed at healthcare for the many casualties of Queen Fury Heart's campaign in the Great Savannah, the night brought with the a most needed sense of peace.
>For you, night and day was the same.
>You were good at your job.
>In two ways:
One, you were just good and usually made the right calls, which made for less stress to begin with cause you always knew what to do;
two, you, some part of you was ashamed to admit it, didn't feel the pain of others, that much at least, anymore, so you didn't care enough to be stressed.
>You been at this job in since the beginning of the war.
>Three whole years.
>At first you felt too much and the job broke youu but there were no respite to you.
>Eventually you overcame it but not without cost.
>No it feels like the job can not longer break you.
>At least you can't imagine how it would anymore.
>You seen ponies die, even because of your own ineptitude.
>You have regrets over that somewhere deep down if you stop but you never stop, but you never run either.
>You are more like a machine that does the specific work it's desgined for than a pony, you feel whenever you have time to reflect.
>You wander amongst the bedded and wounded ponies.
>You see a foal start to spasm.
>It seems you time to a be a pony for today has ended; time to be the machine.
Character Practice:
Goodheart has grown numb to the pains of others to her overexposure to others suffering through her job and the amount she has done during the war.
I pulled these stories out my ass, take htem with a grain of salt. I don't know what I'm talking about lol^^
>Be Funeral Pyre.
>I thinks it been a about a month now, give or take a few days I suppose.
>So much time not breathing normally, not getting suffed with disgusting green goo, and not being stuck upside down in transparent tube.
>You see a changeling take the shape of a foal in front of it's father.
>The changeling had at first pretended to be the foal and had told the stallion a ridiculous story about how Queen Chryssalis was keeping her alive so long as the father produced love for her.
>The love would then take shape of magic and be sucked out of the tube via an organic cable.
>It was clear this drained the stallion of life-energy as well.
>Now days he'd caught on to the changelings tricks and so he raged at the foal, still though it was his foals body.
>He was also quite frail at this point.
>You had been more lucky.
>The changelings had no background one you and had therefore struggled to prod your love.
>You had therefore lived longer than others that had eventually been absorbed into the cable completely.
>Still, you felt your life-force being drained day by day.
>Even more luckily for you, you have brought something with you when you were captured and you'd finally used it to repay them.
>You had GoodHeart to thank for the surgery and daymare's magic tinkering for your little gift.
>With enough focus and intent, your will made your body glow in magical circles.
>Nearby sadistic, arrogant, torturer changelings looked up for the first time since you got here with a look of fear.
>A whole section of that hive burnt down.
Setting Practice:
About how the changelings wring as much love as they possibly can from their subjects.
>I thinks it been a about a month now, give or take a few days I suppose.
>So much time not breathing normally, not getting suffed with disgusting green goo, and not being stuck upside down in transparent tube.
>You see a changeling take the shape of a foal in front of it's father.
>The changeling had at first pretended to be the foal and had told the stallion a ridiculous story about how Queen Chryssalis was keeping her alive so long as the father produced love for her.
>The love would then take shape of magic and be sucked out of the tube via an organic cable.
>It was clear this drained the stallion of life-energy as well.
>Now days he'd caught on to the changelings tricks and so he raged at the foal, still though it was his foals body.
>He was also quite frail at this point.
>You had been more lucky.
>The changelings had no background one you and had therefore struggled to prod your love.
>You had therefore lived longer than others that had eventually been absorbed into the cable completely.
>Still, you felt your life-force being drained day by day.
>Even more luckily for you, you have brought something with you when you were captured and you'd finally used it to repay them.
>You had GoodHeart to thank for the surgery and daymare's magic tinkering for your little gift.
>With enough focus and intent, your will made your body glow in magical circles.
>Nearby sadistic, arrogant, torturer changelings looked up for the first time since you got here with a look of fear.
>A whole section of that hive burnt down.
Setting Practice:
About how the changelings wring as much love as they possibly can from their subjects.
Good news I'm still here, bad news there's nothing to post at the moment. Been caught up in other stuff.
File (): 6D78DA915F409E95BB2E8870432A8CCB-1026378.webm (1.0 MB, Resolution:1920x1080 Length:00:00:18, 6749606__safe_artist-colon-blex_imported+from+derpibooru_trixie_oc_oc-colon-anon_human_pony_unicorn_animated_annoyed_clothes_dialogue_distracted_doodle_duo_earb.webm) [play once] [loop]
>>369090
Btw, GG, currently working on ch 7 of our collab tho I don't know when I'll be done.
Just so u know I haven't abandon it^^
Btw, GG, currently working on ch 7 of our collab tho I don't know when I'll be done.
Just so u know I haven't abandon it^^
File (): 0907B8F020E92C3DECF4253A6824CA37-308608.png (301.4 KB, 867x681, billions must watch MLP.png)
>>362528
heres epubs too
files.catbox.moe/ltjweu.epub
files.catbox.moe/lsp6cd.epub
files.catbox.moe/e41yja.EPUB
heres epubs too
files.catbox.moe/ltjweu.epub
files.catbox.moe/lsp6cd.epub
files.catbox.moe/e41yja.EPUB
So, I'd like to try my hand at writing on request but as always I'm not promising anything. It will be a short story.
So feel free to give me a request and I'll write a short story (probably like 1k) of it.
So feel free to give me a request and I'll write a short story (probably like 1k) of it.
>>370729
Write a story about Anonfilly being sent to Luftkrieg's summer camp, where the two of them do fun activities related to Hoofler Youth. Could feature them doing volunteer work fighting fires with Firexe as a reference to Artur Axmann. Maybe some fun games like "chase the griffon". Has a potential to be a very wholesome story about fascist principles and community service.
Write a story about Anonfilly being sent to Luftkrieg's summer camp, where the two of them do fun activities related to Hoofler Youth. Could feature them doing volunteer work fighting fires with Firexe as a reference to Artur Axmann. Maybe some fun games like "chase the griffon". Has a potential to be a very wholesome story about fascist principles and community service.
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