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Writefag Support Circle: A Gathering of Based Gentlemen Who Smoke Pipes.
Thread number three. Last one is apparently at bump limit.

Previous thread: >>336928 →

I'm lazy so I'm just going to copypaste the OP text from the last one since it still applies. Important bits have been bolded for emphasis.

Basically all that is said in that OP applies to this one but I'll go through the 'rules' of this thread here as well.

So, the main point of this thread is to facilitate and enable Anons' writefagging; in a similar way pride facilitates and enables aids.;^P The Anons in this thread can be separated into two camps: Anons who wants help with their writing project(s) and Anons that feel inclined to help those aforementioned shrek-colored skinheads.

Crafting and beta-reading is what we do here, any critique of literature not made by a guy submitted for this thread should be incidental; it should be when you —as a beta-reader of fics posted ITT— make a comparison between the fic your reviewing and some other story for the sake of demonstrating your point, whatever it is.

This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.

Read this again, because it's important:

This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.

I hope that I haven't scared anybody off. This is still suppose to be a chill af thread. Funposting is very much allowed and encouraged. It really is more that some type of posting —like, things that are completely irrelevant to the thread— does not belong here. I know, rocket-science and a rule that is seldom seen and highly unique for this thread. Perhaps you could call it a... Novelty. (You) intelligent lurker, obviously get the subtext of this OP so you probably won't need to worry about any of this. I'd say if you're unsure if what you're about to post belongs in the thread, then post it anyway. The worst that can happen is that someone tells you to move it to another thread and you get a better insight of what post belongs in thread. If you consist on fish and chips, however, I'd suggest you think twice on what you're posting and perhaps even ask beforehand if your rant about lefties and Undertale belongs here.

If there are any questions on the OP, ask away?
343 replies and 163 files omitted.
>I don't know why I come here to this thread and ask writing questions like I expect an authority on writing to say something interesting and helpful in response and become part of an interesting open writing discussion. First and foremost, this site is a clique for roleplayers and pony porn lovers and boomer facebook meme sharers, before it is anything else.
You have a peculiar habit of denigrating the very people you depend on for endless advice and attention.
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If anyone here is interested, the /mlp/ writefag thread is having a writing contest:

>Maybe we should have our own in-thread writing competition. We could set a due date. When that date rolls around one of us will start the thread again and all the participants will either paste in-thread, or give a link to their story. I suggest due date as one month from now and that we focus on short stories

Premise of the contest is as described, you have just over a month to write a story, and when the contest thread is posted you either paste it in or post a link. As of now it looks like the due date is October 13th, length limit on stories is 10,000 words or less. Theme is Nightmare Night, since Halloween is coming.

Here is the thread:
That sucks. I literally had the same idea and thought it be a clever way to fish for newfags on mlp. Oh, well.
But it sounds like it could be fun. I might show up.^^
This is a good post and deserves a (You), even if I can't think of any additional advice or snappy comments.

Also, I think I've posted this in one or more of these threads before, but this is a really good lecture:


Also also, attached PDF is by the same author as the lecture series. It was published in a subversive "zine" from the 1950s and I'll preface it with a fairly heavy degeneracy warning, but it's worth a read. Aside from the names, he seems to have predicted the Biden administration with an eerie degree of accuracy.
Mark  The Choosen of Chatoyance.pdf
So I wrote the a first chapter for a story with this premise on a whim. It was a while a ago and I didn't finish it sadly. I don't see myself finishing it right now so the setup in this chapter won't get their payoffs but I created a bunch of lore for it. The goddess is named Chattoyance but the it's still a serious story, I just didn't have a name for a goddess at the time and thought it kinda fit so I just did it.
Reborn as a Healslut in another World.txt
This one was also inspired by Nigel's posts on his isekai story. I wrote this a real while ago but was unsure if I wanted to post it. Tried a more shitpost-y style with this one then my normal storytelling. I kinda planned out chapter two but never wrote it down.
Shoggoth mate.png
>>366979 →
>>>/mlpol/366979 →
I thought I continue this conversation here since I have already derailed ur thread enough ^^.

Are u gonna write a new spooky story for that comp or are you gonna use that Muffins of Madness story you started in one of my pony prompt threads?
Good idea lol, probably setting a bad precedent if I keep derailing my own thread with stuff I explicitly asked people not to derail my thread with.

For the 4chan competition I've actually got a new one I've been working on, I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out so far. When it's done I'll post it here before I post it to /mlp/ assuming I finish by the deadline

Muffins of Madness is actually going to be my November project, I think I can spin a full novel out of that one. I wasn't wild about what I wrote for it so I've revised the idea somewhat. The cosmic horror premise is still the same, but I decided to drop the HiE angle entirely and just make the detective character a pony OC.
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File (hide): 5C572615F9056C7B00DE3520D928E8F2-22461.zip (21.9 KB, Listing of : my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic.epub Size Date Time Name -------- -------- ------ --------- 20 27-09-23 05:11 mimetype 240 27-09-23 05:11 META-INF/container.xml 380 27-09-23 05:11 styles.css 925 27-09-23 05:11 title.html 496 27-09-23 05:11 toc.html 79556 27-09-23 05:11 chapter-1.html 1544 27-09-23 05:11 book.opf 1186 27-09-23 05:11 book.ncx , my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic.epub)
I wrote a parody of the sort of cliche MLP fanfics that are easy to write and review and parody. Probably a bit daft for me to focus on this stuff when it's so past its sell-by date and era of cultural relevance, but fuck it. What I wrote is easy, stupid, soulless, unchallenging, and it's not going to help my writing skills, but if anyone here wants to care about the old dead horses beaten in this fic go ahead and review it. It's a complete one-shot that can be judged on its own merits as a complete work. And it doesn't require prior knowledge of an external piece of media like Fallout or Warhammer 40K.

By the way I'm extending my break from politics and quitting the team. I'm sick of nazi sites calling me a gay degenerate libtard cuck for not being racist enough. And not being magic enough to single-handedly save my country. I hadn't realized everyone decided it was my responsibility to be the second coming of Christ and save everybody, and I'm gay if I'm not inspiring enough to inspire hope in them. Why do so many sites devolve into cliques for complainers who forgot their ideology of choice was supposed to have a purpose and core founding principles that come before petty emotions and office politics? How can anyone call the British "not really white" and say "Hitler would have hated you, you damn disgusting bisexual faggot" when the average person posting that is typically a degenerate masturbation addict without loved ones or offspring? Hitler would have hated you too. Or maybe he would have loved you anyway, and pitied you for not living up to your potential, pitied you for throwing it away on frivolous pursuits instead of cultivating inner strength and meaningful bonds and forming a plan for the future and sticking to it.

It is easy to avoid making mistakes when you choose to sit around and exclusively criticize others for making mistakes on their road to success. There is nothing the critics hate more than being reminded of this. No artist is born a master, but what is the value of "criticism" that seeks not to critique the work but to shallowly mock it? A piece of trash on the side of the road is still more meaningful than the criticism designating it so. In this era of fetishized mediocrity and corporate monopolies with soulless valueless entertainment, this era of corpo content getting awards while real art by passionate people with something to say is ignored or sneered at, it makes sense that the best critic channels on Youtube would thrive mocking the big corpo bullshit. AVGN and Nostalgia Critic spawned a wave of imitators by being successful. I'm subscribed to many Youtube channels that love nothing more than taking dogshit television and MCU films and big corpo games and tearing them a new asshole for wasting millions of dollars sucking gay asshole. But I don't subscribe to any channels that treat indie projects with that kind of hostility. When billion dollar corpos like Disney get applauded for posting cringe, that's annoying. But some game reviewers act like every game that didn't blow their mind instead blew their dog after shooting it. They want to play at being critics without having any of the values that made the great ones great. It's fun to hate, I get that, but it's not a respectable kind of hatred.

Starship Troopers, the movie made by a Jew, tries to make "Fascism" look bad. But it's too dishonest to intellectually engage with its ideas. It never shows a smart disabled man unfit for military service and unable to vote, and then depicts a bad politician coming to power because people like that smart disabled non-soldier and his friends in the same boat were unable to vote. No, it just does all it can to make the whole concept look silly. It's a strawman argument in film form. Thinking Starship Troopers is an accurate depiction of Fascism is like thinking 300 is an accurate depiction of the Spartans and Persians. But that film wasn't made with an ideological or racial agenda, it was made with this raw unapologetic masculine energy that made you scream "Fuck yeah!" or whimper "lmao gay cringe". I saw it with my girl and damn, what a movie! THIS IS CINEMA! Holy fucking shit! Focusing on what you love really is better than focusing on what you hate. That film never could have been made today, and if they tried, they'd Netflix the fuck out of it unless the original creator was around to force Netflix to reshoot shit they got wrong until the end result was fine. As a kid I didn't dream of being a propagandist. I dreamed of making awesome media.

The road to success is not an easy one. If it was, the haters would walk it themselves instead of hating. Sometimes that road is long and hard and winding, but I'm not giving up on my dreams. No matter how many bitter people point and laugh, I won't respect them enough to care about their feelings toward me. It's a lose-lose scenario, dealing with people like that, because they choose to believe they're the superior and you're the inferior, they abuse you if they can, and if you ignore them they keep on hating you no matter what, and if you give them attention by saying anything to the contrary, they take it as validation, they take it as confirmation that only someone inferior would care. They never look in the mirror and ask themselves how they could improve and be happy. They never try to uplift themselves or their local community. They'd never take food to a church to feed the freezing elderly and starving homeless. They sit on their hard drives full of foalcon rape and childish power fantasies featuring anon and they sneer at me for liking anime and trap femboy futa facefucking porn and incest and piss and shit and shitting dick nipples and breast expansion and inflation and oneesan/milf shota and cuckolding and praise kink content. Lmao just kidding I don't like any of that shit, except the anime. And praise(good for the soul!). And the breast expansion because it means big booba.

And on that bombshell, goodnight!
Well, thanks for the story, bro. ^^

Sad that you're leaving again. Hope find success with ur aspirations. I'll continue to jerk it to hoers so don't worry, I'll keep the spirit of mlpol alive, single-handedly >Mfw no no-hoofs gf to give me a hoofjob^^
That's great Nigel, thanks for letting us know. We'll see you in a month or two when you decide to pull the exact same drama again.
2P Clouldsdale.pdf
Attached is a draft of thread idea I had for the site, I canceled it when I saw this post tho:
as I stated here:
However, I did write a bunch of fanlore one Cloudsdale and Pegasi in it so I thought I might as well share it here. ^^
>I don't care, you don't care, please read my words though
Great note to go out on, pretty much sums up your entire five years worth of effort.

This looks like it's got some potential. Is this meant to be another organized project within a time frame, or is this just an informal prompt? I might be interested in doing some stuff within these parameters, but as I mentioned before I'm a bit swamped for the next couple of months.

>Pegasi have the supernatural ability to fall asleep and hibernate when they wish to do so. This is called ”drifting” (we'll get back to when and how they use this).
>Their bodies go into a low energy usage mode and excrement and such is simply emptied while asleep (this is why it's advised to do that before drifting)
I'm curious if Equestria has any formal laws about this. Seems like earth ponies and unicorns getting periodically deuced on by drifting pegasi might create some tension between the castes.

I'm going to suggest that this name be formally changed to "Storm Razor," without the CamelCase spelling.
Good riddance you furfag futa loving britmutt. Stay in the dumpster where you belong. Permanently. Take that faux-centrism cuckboi shit with you, too.
Dragons_shooting_fire 2.png
>There was once monkies that live in a forest.
>Near this forest was a cave where a dragon slept.
>He was distrubed in his slumper by the shouting of fighting monkies.
>He ignored them and drifted back to sleep.
>He was awoken again by monkies wrestling over his treasure trove.
>He turned his back on them and went back to sleep.
>Something was prodding him.
>He opened his eyes and found a group of monkies with sharp sticks.
>He ingored them.
>Then he felt pain in his eye.
>One of the monkies had stuck his stick into his eye.
>The forest was reduced to nothing but ash.
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Tried to get AI to illustrate this, was somewhat successful:
>medieval tapestry style: dragon with a wounded eye, breathing fire on a forest, fighting an army of monkeys
Nice. Im happy u read it. <3
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Why are you saging the write thread?
You're aware that sage is to avoid bumping a thread, and not to downvote a user, right?
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Tourists, am I right?
By the way did anyone review the shit pony fic?
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Why would anyone review it, or even bother to read it? You said yourself you didn't put any effort into it and don't care about it. Why would you expect us to read it? Why would you expect anyone to read it? Are you really such an arrogant, egotistical, self-absorbed ass that you expect people to invest time and effort into workshopping a story that not even you, the person who wrote it, actually cares about?

Since it's clear that you still haven't figured it out yet, this kind of behavior is a fine example of why nobody on this site likes you or takes you seriously. It's not just that you're a shitty writer, you're also a shitty person. I mean, read your own post for fuck's sake: >>367203

You have this attitude like everything in the world is somehow beneath you and nothing bothers you, and yet you're one of the neediest attention-whores I've ever come across in all my time spent on the internet. You think the pony fandom is dead, but here you still are, writing fanfiction and begging us to read it. You think this site is just an empty circlejerk full of haters, but here you still are, begging for our attention yet again.

You constantly talk up your big projects and your grand ideas, and yet you produce nothing but low-effort slop. You beg for everyone to give you their opinion, and when they give it to you, you either get pissy and defensive, or you just laugh it off and say "yeah, well, I wasn't really trying." While it is indeed clear that you weren't really trying, it does raise the question: if you're not going to try, then why bother? If you don't care about what you write, and you don't care about what we think, then why even ask us to read any of it? Why even write it in the first place?

I can tell you exactly why. You don't write because you have something to say or because you give a shit about writing, and you don't ask us for criticism because you give a shit what we think or because you want to improve. Everything you do, whether it's sharting out crappy low-effort fanfiction, posting long whiny monologues about how shitty your childhood was, stalking some troon on fimfiction, or palm-mashing angry diatribes about all the "haters" that are out to get you, it's all motivated by one thing and one thing only: You. Need. Attention. You crave attention the way your shitty OC craves cock, be it Silver "pound my ponut" Star, or Faggot "Silver Star Redrawn as a Sonic the Hedgehog Character" Fox, or Lion-O the Angsty Jewslayer, or Thomas the Racist Elf-Prince, or whatever dumb variant of the same shitty character you happen to be working with at any given moment.

And look, here you are again, back on this site you don't care about, submitting yet another piece of shoddy low-effort fanfiction about a franchise you think has lost all cultural relevance. Mere days after sharting out your latest word-salad about how you don't care about this place and how you're leaving it "for good," here you are, begging for our attention yet again.

Why not just get a life and live it? Or, since that's probably a bridge too far for you at this point, why not just neck yourself and save us all the trouble of having to interact with you further? I mean, go back and read through this thread >>>/mlpol/166259 → or this thread >>>/mlpol/165646 → sometime. Isn't it amazing how, after five long years, you haven't grown, changed or matured at all? Isn't it amazing how, after all this time and all the words we've exchanged, you're still the same whiny, arrogant, needy, conceited, entitled, obnoxious little shit that you were five years ago? How you're still here, condescending to us while simultaneously begging us to read whatever low-effort bucket of verbal diarrhea you've most recently sharted out?

Seriously, Nigel. How many times does this community need to tell you to fuck off before you actually get the message?

Incidentally, Robert Heinlein, author of Starship Troopers, was a better writer than you could ever hope to be, even if you actually gave enough of a shit to put in real effort.
You have NOT been around long enough to realize that saging on this board does one thing, and ONE thing only: it pisses Niggel off since he doesn't get the dopamine rush of someone opposing his pseudo-centrist britcuck soygoi views.

Congrats, cucktard, for about the thousandth time. You just broke the (((rules))) of your own "M-M-MMUH (((LEVIN))) G-GAIZ, DON'T FLAME ME WHEN M R GON BACK TO PISSRAHELL" post.


That number will never be 0. It will NEVER be less than 1. Also fuck you no homo Heinlein was a great writer but his execution of word phrasing and literary meanings sucked donkey phalli.
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literally me.jpg
I know it upsets you when I tell you I don't respect you and skim your posts and ignore anything I don't value, but I saw some half-finished shit in my documents and thought "Hey, might as well finish it, get it out there, give this starving thread on a dying site some content not from the same few overworked people". I don't understand why people who don't respect me as a person expect me to respect them as an authority, and I don't understand why somebody said I rely on this site for advice or attention when I don't care what people think of me and the "best" advice I ever got was "read a lot on your own and figure it out for yourself". I've figured out a lot for myself. But it's always hard for the wannabe critic to understand when he isn't valued and why, because to him the critic is the master of the artist and any artist who disagrees with this reductive thought-terminating inherently anti-art worldview is a bad artist "violating the natural order of things out of pettiness and inadequacy and spite", because even though the wannabe critic has no insight that makes him a better critic than any other bog-standard complainer or anything about him that makes him any kind of useful asset to any artist the critic expects to be treated like Gordon fucking Ramsay even if all he has to say is the kind of "fuck you kill yourself lmao niggerfaggot" shit children said to each other over Sonic fanfiction almost twenty years ago. Hell, SonAmy and SonAlly tards were saying this to each other thirty years ago. I've been around on the internet too long for your sort of talk to shock me, sonny. I stopped respecting you people when I realized you're inauthentic. You might hate the Jews but you don't love Whites enough. Or freedom or western civilization. Friendship is a buzzword thrown around now and then for the sake of shaming people who criticize you for your inaction and inauthenticity but when people here need help they don't get it here. Misery loves company and this is a circlejerk for miserable people who have learned helplessness. Self-improvement talk, threads about farming and making things, it all had to be pushed to another subforum to ignore because it didn't fit on the main board. It wouldn't surprise me if The Critical Drinker was a fan of the AVGN at some point, but instead of spiralling into self-parody with retarded skits in an attempt to one-up the original, his insights into the obvious flaws of leftist dominated media let him condense elegant takedowns of overhyped dogshit media in efficient digestible smart witty and brief videos anybody can watch, understand, share, and get behind. You come for him mocking shit films and stay for his criticisms of the underlying leftism permeating modern jewish cinema and its hatred of the strong white male hero. Characterization of the critic as a drunken mess of a clown makes him likable and relatable and down-to-earth without getting in the way of the substance of the review like an extended skit where he saves cinema from a haunted DVD by shooting it with a gun and throwing a bottle at it, he never comes off as some smug git who thinks he knows everything, even though he knows a lot more about writing than most industry professionals. He's able to help people start to understand and detest woke bullshit and identify general flaws in their own writing without needing to come off as overly political or agenda-driven because it truly is normal and good to oppose woke bullshit and bad ideology-driven writing in general. He's a critic I respect, and he's earned those subscribers.

The greatest works of western literature could have been discussed on this site, we could have read a chapter together and discussed it every week or every three days, but finding dogshit pony fanfiction from almost a decade ago and collectively calling it shit or relying on somebody else to waste his time stating the obvious for us is just so much easier even if it's not an overhyped fandom darling but instead some practically unheard of piece of shit nobody cares about, like an Angry Video Game Nerd knockoff who tries to search for even worse-rated games to flame even though nobody cares that the shovelware fimfiction equivalent of Imagine Babies for the Wii is like a "shit sundae fermented inside a sun-scorched nigger corpse" and Eragon reads like it was written by a teenager because it was, even though something could have been learned from analyzing interesting experiments in the gaming landscape or literary world. This site has all the downsides of /mlp/ (cliquey fandom drama and space-wasting content accumulation threads where skill improvement and new content is rare and circlejerkers waste each other's time waiting for new content) and /pol/ (serious unbiased political discussion is drowned out by facebook memes and low quality argumentation for shit like flat fucking eartherism) and no redeeming qualities. I was a fool to ever waste so much time here posting dumb bullshit when I should have been working on actually improving my skills as a creator. Mods, delete all my gay posts if y'all hate them so much (you won't, those in the in-group need an out-group to attack and the clique dominating this site wishes I'd stay here forever and be a permanent part of this site to give their lives meaning).
Choccy Gewehr
Screenshot_2023-10-07 Suspect That You Are Narcissistic DO THIS .png
>Projecting, gaslighting, self indulgent walls of text.
You really want to make your life let alone the world better? Shut the fuck up for once, watch this video, internalise every word Prof. Sam Vaknin says to you. Don't listen while playing vidya gaems or whatev. Sit, watch, take notes

Else wise kindly procure a length of tree climbing rope, learn to tie it in a slip knot and pull a Robin William's.
OIG (37).jfif
Imagine this post:
>>367718 >You don't care yet you're here
being replied to by this post:
>>367741 >I don't care
Uhm, why are you back again?

Hehe, wtf is even going on? ^^
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Why do you people still reply to the brit? This is my first time reading through this thread and it's just 90% gay little drama between him and everyone else. This isn't any different from discord clique faggotry, just stop replying to him. You're all pathetic. Making memes of him only encourages him more. Making walls and walls of text just flatters him. Literally just stop talking to him or make a new thread, Jesus. Its almost like you ENJOY his obnoxiousness.
>Its almost like you ENJOY his obnoxiousness.
He is funny if you ask. Nothing wrong with it.
Jason Godwin IRL.jpg
>I know it upsets you when I tell you I don't respect you and skim your posts and ignore anything I don't value
Inaccurate. What "upsets" me is when you post anything at all, because you seldom write anything worth reading, and you write a ton of it.

>I saw some half-finished shit in my documents and thought "Hey, might as well finish it, get it out there, give this starving thread on a dying site some content not from the same few overworked people".

Anyway, those questions aside, this statement just confirms everything I said before: you don't care about your own work enough to put actual effort into it, you dump whatever excrement you produce into our thread because you physically can't function without our attention, and you're such a delusional narcissist that you honestly think you're doing us a favor by letting us read it.

>I don't understand why people who don't respect me as a person expect me to respect them as an authority
First and most obvious, you've done absolutely nothing to deserve respect as a person; if anything, I've lost respect for you over the years. After five years of interacting with you on this site, I can honestly say that you are among the most obnoxious, boorish, dense, toxic and repulsive people I have ever encountered, either online or irl, and that I find in you not one single redeeming human virtue. We should respect you? Why? You sound like some left-wing TikTok fatty. You go around behaving like a toxic self-absorbed cunt, and then you think everyone should treat you with "respect" simply because you exist.

Second, nobody here expects you to "respect them as an authority." At this point nobody here expects much of anything from you, we just wish you would shut up and leave like you keep saying that you're going to. You never have anything to contribute to the conversation around here except self-indulgent, self-pitying, narcissistic whining and the occasional piece of mediocre fanfiction. Oh, right, and your reams upon reams of unsolicited opinions about video games; can't forget that, I suppose.

>It wouldn't surprise me if The Critical Drinker was a fan of the AVGN at some point
As usual, I have no idea what the fuck you're rambling about and you provide no context, so your long non-sequitur rant was a wasted effort. I'm assuming these guys are YouTubers or something? And according to you they're apparently good at it? Or bad maybe? I don't know. I don't give a shit about YouTube.

>But it's always hard for the wannabe critic to understand when he isn't valued and why, because to him the critic is the master of the artist and any artist who disagrees with this reductive thought-terminating inherently anti-art worldview is a bad artist "violating the natural order of things out of pettiness and inadequacy and spite", because even though the wannabe critic has no insight that makes him a better critic than any other bog-standard complainer or anything about him that makes him any kind of useful asset to any artist the critic expects to be treated like Gordon fucking Ramsay even if all he has to say is the kind of "fuck you kill yourself lmao niggerfaggot" shit children said to each other over Sonic fanfiction almost twenty years ago.
I have no response to this, I just wanted to call attention to the fact that this is all one sentence, lol. Also: it just wouldn't be a Nigel post if you didn't throw Sonic the retarded butt-fucking Hedgehog in there somewhere, would it?

>The greatest works of western literature could have been discussed on this site, we could have read a chapter together and discussed it every week or every three days, but finding dogshit pony fanfiction from almost a decade ago and collectively calling it shit or relying on somebody else to waste his time stating the obvious for us is just so much easier even if it's not an overhyped fandom darling but instead some practically unheard of piece of shit nobody cares about, like an Angry Video Game Nerd knockoff who tries to search for even worse-rated games to flame even though nobody cares that the shovelware fimfiction equivalent of Imagine Babies for the Wii is like a "shit sundae fermented inside a sun-scorched nigger corpse" and Eragon reads like it was written by a teenager because it was, even though something could have been learned from analyzing interesting experiments in the gaming landscape or literary world.
This is all one sentence too, lmao. Just out of curiosity, what does someone like you even have to say about the "greatest works of western literature?" Can you even name any of them, let alone discuss them? Other than a smattering of YA stuff like Eragon and maybe two or three books that I've recommended to you in previous threads, as far as I can tell you've never picked up a book in your life. At least if you have, you never talk about any of them. If your posts from any of our writing discussion threads are any indicator, the only media you consume is a low-grade slurry of video games, YouTube videos, Western cartoons and anime and you don't even like any good anime ffs; everything you talk about is just autistic Shonen Jump battle-monsters style crap.

And it's not even that there's anything inherently wrong with liking stuff like that. I play games from time to time, and enjoy the occasional trashy anime. I don't spend literally every waking minute of my life reading Faulkner and Hemingway and all that. Your problem is that not only is your knowledge base exclusively limited to autismo consoomer properties, you can't even make intelligent conversation about that stuff. You didn't like Mass Effect because it was gay and leftist, for some dumb reason you can't articulate. You didn't like Pokemon Fire Emblem because it was gay and leftist, for some dumb reason you can't articulate. This is what literary discussion looks like for you. Is it any wonder nobody wants to have a conversation with you?
I feel like you should be right, but honestly? I've tried ignoring him, and that doesn't work either.
He's been bullied off the site a couple times. It is amusing to watch it unfold. The key to enjoy niggel slander, starts with knowing the clown will always be back.
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>the "best" advice I ever got was "read a lot on your own and figure it out for yourself"
For one thing, this actually is very good advice. If you want to learn how to write fiction, you should read as much fiction as possible, for the same reason that someone wanting to play the guitar should listen to other guitar players. Not only are there plenty of little technical things you can pick up this way, but every writer has their own unique, nuanced approach to telling stories. By reading different books by different authors, you'll expose yourself to different techniques and approaches, and you can decide for yourself which ones you like and which ones you don't. And as far as figuring it out for yourself, there are large aspects of this that you literally just have to learn by doing, and it's a continuous process of trial and error.

For another, you've been given plenty of advice beyond this. I myself have spent untold hours combing through the dreck you write, and attempting to hold your hand and walk you through the most basic things you do wrong, usually over and over and over. So have plenty of other people here. You never seem to absorb a word of it or follow any advice you're given.

>I've figured out a lot for myself
No, you haven't. In fact, not only have you failed to figure out much of anything for yourself, you've failed to implement any of the reams upon reams of practical advice you've been given, that you claim you haven't been given.

I can show you examples of this in real time. Let's have a look at what's in your current fimfic profile. This is you, isn't it?

Interestingly, I notice you have ratings disabled for most of your stories. I wonder what could have possibly motivated you to do that? Hmm. Anyway, the story you posted to this thread:
I refuse to even look at on principle.


This entire "story" can be summed up thusly: Spike comes home one day excited about visiting a casino that was apparently just built. Twilight lectures him about why the author she thinks casinos are bad. After listening to her massive block-paragraph lecture, Spike concludes that he was wrong. Then, Twilight writes a massive block-paragraph letter to Princess Celestia that repeats, basically word for word, everything she just told Spike about casinos in her massive block-paragraph lecture.

The entire text consists of your own thinly-veiled opinions, written out in massive block paragraphs and dumped into quotes which are then forced into the mouth of a character. How many damned times have you been told to stop doing this? You did this constantly throughout your old Silver Star thing, and you were called out on it then. I call this sort of writing "sockpuppet dialog." I've also seen a lot of it in other fics I've reviewed, and I have called it out every time I've seen it.

Since you clearly don't respect my opinion anymore, maybe you should go through your own fucking comments section and see how literally every fucking person tells you exactly the same fucking thing that I just did.

Then, there's your most recent one:
Like almost everything you write, this one reads like it was written ironically or as a dumb joke, and subsequently very little serious effort was put into it. The plot is barely worth summarizing: a guy named Morbius lives in a place called Morbino Land, he can shapeshift or something I guess, and he does battle with an evil wizard named Morblo. The name of just about everything in the story is some variation on the word "morb." This feels like a reference or an in-joke, and a quick google search confirms this: apparently, "morb" is a meme that originated from the film Morbius, which was apparently some capeshit movie that came out last year and bombed. Anyway, Morbius uses...a bunch of magic cars ???...to somehow...defeat this evil wizard I guess, and then...he starts ranting about the Federal Reserve. I'm not even making this up.

Anyway...Jesus Christ. This is seriously some next-level autism. The guy drones on about the Federal Reserve for like four paragraphs, and we once again see the grim specter of sockpuppet dialogue raising its ugly head. Oh, this here is interesting:

>Suddenly the story reveals this was all a story. It was all written by Pinkie Pie in an afternoon for a book club writing assignment, and Twilight Sparkle tells her this is definitely a better story than the last time she tried writing and looks out the window to see they were in space all along. Then Twilight praises Pinkie's novel and tells her what to improve on.
Yes, it seems the exciting plot-twist was that this whole ridiculous thing was actually written by Pinkie Pie. This is honestly the least plausible direction this story could possibly have taken, since not even Pinkie would be this autistic. However, more interesting than this is that "ChatGPT" is actually part of the text. I'll go out on a limb here and say that ChatGPT wrote at least some of this (probably not the Federal Reserve stuff; that's all clearly vintage Nigel), and you probably marked off the ChatGPT portions for reference. I'm also guessing that you forgot to delete this line when you pasted the text in. Because of this, I'm going to go even further out on a limb, and say that you probably still don't bother to even cursorily proofread any of the crap you write before you post it to fimfiction.

Anyway, fuck it; I'm feeling the itch, and I've got nothing better to do for a couple of hours. Anyone up for a good old-fashioned "Glim Glam dunks on Nigel's Shitty Fimfiction Ramblings" session? I am.
Continuing with the "morb" thing. There's not really much else to say about the actual story that I haven't already covered, however there are a couple of quotes that are worth calling attention to.

Apparently, typing out a four-paragraph rant about the Federal Reserve didn't quite satiate your urge to shart out your own moronic opinions as block paragraphs and dump them down the throats of your characters. There's another one from Pinkie towards the end:

>Pinkie giggled. "Isn't it funny that a show that once visually mocked the cliche of bad futures and alternate timelines with a joke episode went on to unironically self-seriously depict numerous bad timelines wiped away without a second thought by a pony that is clearly, according to her fans, the greatest idea Hasbro ever had? I mean, isn't that a little messed up? Glimmer literally created ponies, and uncreated ponies, as casually as I might create a loud toot! Time was a plaything for her, all to make you sad, Twilight, and make sure you can't beat her in a fight, so you'd decide you had to forgive her for everything and try to force her to see why friendship is good even though it took her WAY too long to figure out the concept of respecting the rights of others. It almost seems like awful terrible objectively bad contrived writing and if anyone in this accursed fandom who thought season 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or any other season was too bad for their tastes and moved on with their life came back to check this out they'd laugh and leave the fandom all over again! Then again season one bronies liked Fallout Equestria and Past Sins so maybe their taste was never more important than feeling like they were a part of something."

There are some gems hidden in this dense web of autism. First, and probably most hilarious, is that, despite all the time that's passed and all your claims to the contrary, it's clear that you still haven't quite managed to get over your intense hateboner for Starlight Glimmer. Second is this:

>Then again season one bronies liked Fallout Equestria and Past Sins so maybe their taste was never more important than feeling like they were a part of something
Apart from your usual condescension towards a fandom upon which you are clearly still very dependent for your hourly fix of dopamine, I notice you specifically bring up Past Sins and Fallout Equestria. Gee willickers, aren't those the same fics I reviewed? I also remember that, in the Lion Man story you posted here which according to your profile is actually called Fallout Equestria: Lionheart, you went on a long, long rant about the original Fallout Equestria story. It was the same sort of thing, where you wrote out your own opinions as long, incoherent block paragraphs and stuffed them into your character's mouth. However, they weren't so much your opinions as they were my opinions, culled directly from my review of Fallout Equestria, and paraphrased in your own rambling schizo style. It's almost like...you have no ability to assess the worth of stories on your own, so you have to take my views and regurgitate them. I don't take offense, mind you, I honestly think it's adorable. You hate me so much, but you want to be me so badly.


>Twilight continued, "However, there's always room for improvement. In the future, try to focus on pacing and structure. Sometimes your story felt a bit chaotic, and it can be helpful to have a clear beginning, middle, and end."
Irony levels off the charts.

>"And you really need to learn to integrate political messages better. But at least you didn't awkwardly shoehorn in any feet or anything like that, so you're a better writer and person than at least 40% of writers already." Twilight smiled warmly at her friend. "But don't ever lose your boundless creativity, Pinkie! It's what makes your stories so unique and enjoyable!"

Anyway, the story ends with Twilight and Pinkie kissing for some reason, and a completely inappropriate Monty Python reference is thrown in as a final cherry to top off this shit sundae.

Next up:

This one is titled "A Pointless Story," and the description reads "a pointless story in which nothing happens." The accompanying image is a distended portrait of Maude Pie, who does not appear in the story at all. I notice that both ratings and comments are turned off for this one.

Anyway, this story feels like most of it was also written by ChatGPT. Nothing really happens and there's very little in the way of character interaction, so it's basically just words. It maintains a pretty consistent dark mood, there are a lot of references to ancient prophecies and finding the truth, but in the end...nothing really happens. Twilight and her friends journey across Equestria for some vaguely-defined reason, and then eventually Discord shows up, and Pinkie Pie makes the following dumb joke:

>"Grabahan!" she exclaimed, unable to contain her mirth.
>Twilight Sparkle tilted her head in confusion.
>Pinkie Pie grinned. "Grabahan full of deez nuts!"
Again, I'm fairly certain that ChatGPT wrote at least 90% of this story, but I'm assuming "Grabahan full of deez nuts" was your own personal contribution. Congratulations: every time I think you can't possibly lower the bar for yourself any further, you manage to surprise me.

Anyway, that's basically the end of it. I actually have to say, this is probably some of your best work. You promised us a pointless story in which nothing happens, and you delivered exactly that. You set a reasonable goal for yourself, and you achieved it. Nice job. Why on earth you would ever choose to publish something like this is another matter entirely.

Next on the docket:

This story is called "Unmasking the Shadows," and the description reads: "The Thunder Hooves Gang can't keep getting away with it. Rainbow Dash embarks on an epic quest to infiltrate the menacing Thunder Hooves biker gang. But when they blackmail her, who can she trust?"

Anyway, the story begins with some dull narration. Apparently, Ponyville has been overrun by a biker gang called the Thunder Hooves for some reason or another. Rainbow Dash overhears ponies at Sugar Cube Corner discussing how the Thunder Hooves are planning to attack the town library. How exactly ordinary ponies hanging out at a sweet shop would be aware of the biker gang's plans is never clarified. Also unclear is why bikers would want to attack a library. Anyway, Dash decides to infiltrate the gang so she can expose their "nefarious plans."

>Rainbow Dash approached the Thunder Hooves' secret hideout, a rundown shack on the outskirts of Ponyville. She had dyed her hair blue and white. Hopefully that was a sufficient disguise.
Why would that be a sufficient disguise? Do the bikers use those colors or something? You don't clarify what the significance of dying her hair blue and white would be. You also don't clarify why Dash would even need a disguise. Do they know who she is? Does she want to keep her identity a secret from them? Because in literally the next sentence:

>She took a deep breath and walked in, hoping her reputation as a fearless daredevil would earn her a place among the gang.
Already, this story makes absolutely no sense. She's going to disguise herself, but also her whole plan depends on the bikers recognizing her and being familiar with her reputation? What the shit, dude? Is this another ChatGPT, or do you just not even bother to think these things through?

Anyway, the issue is moot. Dash introduces herself as "Thunderstrike," and for some reason the gang just immediately allows her to join, no initiation or interview or anything. She hangs out with them for a few weeks, participating in their various shenanigans, and then, for no apparent reason, they decide to blackmail her.

>One evening, Doomthunder cornered Rainbow Dash. "Listen up, Thunderstrike," he sneered. "We've got some plans for you. You're gonna tag the Ponyville Library tonight, and you're gonna talk like you've gone completely bad. Also you're gonna get close to this Twilight loser and earn her trust and get her to say embarassing stuff. If you refuse, we'll expose your true identity to the whole town! And if we get arrested, keep this in mind. If we go down, you go down with us!"
I am so fucking confused. Does this gang know who she really is, or don't they? Why are they doing any of this in the first place? Also, "embarrassing" is misspelled.

Anyway, I guess Rainbow Dash has to go and write poopoo-peepee graffiti on Twilight's library now. She feels morally conflicted about this for a bit, and then decides she has to do it for some reason, because she's trying to bring this biker gang to justice or whatever.

>Unbeknownst to Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle had noticed her strange behavior and the graffiti on the library. Twilight's analytical mind couldn't ignore the inconsistencies in her friend's actions. She began to suspect that something was amiss with Rainbow Dash.
Something amiss, like the fact that she now has blue and white hair for some reason, plus her friends are all bikers and she's apparently been spending a lot of time inside the library spraying graffiti on the walls? Twilight is clearly a master detective.

Anyway, Twilight I guess figures out that Rainbow Dash is acting peculiar, and meanwhile Rainbow Dash is recording the biker gang's phone calls or something, and then eventually Rainbow Dash breaks down and confesses to Twilight that she was the one who sprayed graffiti all over her library. Which I understood to be something that Twilight already knew. Anyway, after this, Twilight and Rainbow Dash go to Celestia together, and they present whatever evidence Dash collected on the biker gang. The gang gets arrested.

>As Rainbow Dash stood before her friends, her secret exposed but her intentions clear, Twilight approached her with a warm smile. "Rainbow, I'm so proud of you for trying to protect Ponyville. I should have trusted you from the beginning."
What is her secret again? That she was in the biker gang? I thought she was only pretending to be in the gang to expose them? Is that what the gang was planning to blackmail her with? The fact that she was in the gang? Did they know that she was actually Rainbow Dash? Because they were calling her Thundercheeks or whatever the whole time. Were they blackmailing Dash because she was in the gang, or were they blackmailing Thundercheeks because...reasons? This literally makes no goddamn sense.

Anyway, Twilight and her friends all forgive Rainbow Dash for doing whatever she is supposed to have done exactly, and the gang is in jail. The day is saved. Hooray.

Seriously, Nigel, what the fuck? I honestly can't tell if you're intentionally writing mediocre stories as some kind of autistic joke that only makes sense to you, or if this literally is what you trying your absolute best looks like. I just...I don't even understand what this is. Why did you write this? Who is it for? Did you write this to be ironic or something, or do you honestly believe this has some sort of entertainment value? So far all of your stories are like this.

I mean, really dude. The Silver Star thing was bad, but it was bad in a funny way, and at the very least it seemed like you actually gave a shit about what you were writing. This is just...pure mediocrity, and what's more, the mediocrity feels intentional. Why would you even write something like this, let alone publish it for people to read?

All jokes aside, I am legitimately embarrassed for you right now.

Anyway, next up:

"Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love." Description is a short poem: "Gleaming hearts take flight, Twilight and Rainbow unite, Love's colors ignite." This one is divided into three chapters.

Romance Blossoms

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle have been living together for awhile, as part of something called the "Interspecies Cultural Exchange Program." The text never clarifies what this is, or how exactly it would affect their living situation, since both are presumably of the same species. Anyway, Twilight comes home from some kind of workout or something, and Rainbow Dash is sitting there. After a very brief preamble, Dash announces that she is in love with Twilight, and Twilight responds by saying that she feels the same way. For the next few paragraphs, they exchange some overly saccharine dialogue about how much they love each other. Since we've been given absolutely no background on either of these characters, or any kind of setup for them to have a relationship at all, absolutely none of it feels even remotely genuine. We are then informed that this goes on for several more weeks. Eventually, we rejoin them one afternoon on the couch. However, nothing else happens besides more saccharine descriptions of them snuggling with each other. This is literally a complete synopsis of the entire chapter.

Trial of the Moon

>The next full moon approached, casting its ethereal glow upon the land. But for Twilight's new Alicorn body, the full moon brought with it unique challenges that she and her love faced together.
So I guess she's an alicorn now? Was she not one before? As with all of the other selections we've looked at tonight, this is not so much a story as it is a crude outline of an idea. We've been given essentially no information about either of these characters, other than the fact that they lived together as part of some kind of same-species interspecies exchange program, and that, for no explicable reason, they are suddenly in love with each other.

Anyway, it's not really clear how or why, but it seems that the full moon does something to Twilight Sparkle. Maybe she's a werewolf or something, who knows? The text doesn't clarify. In any event, Dash, her "lover" apparently, decides to help her with whatever her problem is by throwing javelins at her, so she can take her mind off of the moon by dodging them seriously people, I promise I am not exaggerating or distorting any of this; read this autism for yourself if you don't believe me.

>But as the night wore on, the full moon's influence seemed to intensify, and Twilight Sparkle's struggle became more challenging. She could feel her instincts tugging at her, urging her to break free from the restraints of her human form.
Wait, she's a human in this? The story is tagged MLP:FIM, the image shows pony versions of Twilight and Dash, and we haven't been told otherwise, so I've been assuming these were horse versions of both characters. Is this what the "Interspecies Exchange" business was about? Twi is a human and Dash is a pony? Or something? As with everything else we've read tonight, this story is clumsily written and makes little sense, almost as if the person writing it gave absolutely zero fucks about either his characters or his subject matter. Jesus Christ, Nigel.

Anyway, I guess the two of them are flying around at night, because Twilight is an alicorn now, and also a human apparently, and she's afraid of the moon for some reason. They throw javelins at each other for awhile, there's some more schmultzy description of how deeply they love each other, then I guess the moon goes away and whatever problem Twilight was having basically resolves itself.

>As dawn broke, the full moon began to wane, its power diminishing. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash looked at each other, a mixture of relief and gratitude evident in their eyes. They had faced the challenges of the full moon together, and nothing exploded this time, thanks to their love and unwavering support guiding them through the darkest of nights.
You have still given us absolutely zero clarification about whatever Twilight's deal with the moon is.

>Hand in hand, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash walked back home, the echoes of their shared triumph still resonating within them.
So they're both human? But also they can fly and one of them is an alicorn? And they're both enrolled in something called the Interspecies Exchange Program? And Twilight is afraid of the moon for some unspecified reason? Just making sure we're on the same page here.

Anyway, after this, they go back home and that's the end of the chapter.

Their First Kiss

Apparently, the next chapter is the story of their first kiss. Even though we are told that they have been madly in love with each other for a period of actual months now, and they have done nothing besides snuggle and cuddle and hurl javelins at each other for that entire period of time...it seems they haven't kissed yet. Maybe they're saving it for marriage, the way Pony and/or Human and/or Alicorn Jesus would want them to.

Anyway, Twilight and Dash decide to go to some library in Ohayo. They pick out some books.

>Derpy Hooves was there, with her foal. She quickly extended her wings so her foal didn't see two mares holding wings in public.
Who is Derpy Hooves? You haven't introduced this character. Also: you refer to them as mares, but in the previous paragraph you mention fingers. Are these characters humans? Horses? Anthro whatever-the-fucks? You give us absolutely nothing to go on.

Anyway, they read books at the library for awhile, and then they go home. On the way, they kiss. That's literally it. The text spends more time building up the kiss itself than it ever does explaining who either of these characters are or why they are in a relationship with each other.
Anyway, Jesus. This one was, by a wide margin, the worst one of the batch. And that's saying something, because literally every single thing I've read on your fimfic so far I would grade on a scale ranging from mediocre to awful. I'm not even trying to bantz on you anymore, this one was just horrendously, embarrassingly bad. What was this story even supposed to be about? Two characters with absolutely no depth or substance, or even a rough description of who the fuck they are or even what species, suddenly fall in love for no reason, spend copious amounts of time snuggling and calling each other schmoopy-doopy, then they go to a library and kiss. Oh right, and there was this absolutely ridiculous thing about one character being afraid of the fucking moon that was just wedged in out of absolutely nowhere.

The subject matter of this story reminds me of another one you submitted to the previous writing thread:

I'm not going to go over it again because I already reviewed it, but here's the interesting thing: this current story, "Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love", is a considerably worse story than "Science and Ponies and Love." However, "Science" was published in February of 2023, whereas "Twilight & Rainbow's Love" was published in May of 2023. I just went back to the old thread and verified that I reviewed "Science" in February. So, this means that you wrote a story, asked for feedback, received feedback, and then, three months later...went on to produce an even worse story about the same subject matter. You not only blatantly ignored all of the notes I gave you on that story, you actually managed to take all of that story's problems and somehow make them even worse. Instead of a story about poorly-defined characters who are in love for some poorly-defined reason, you wrote a story about characters with no definition at all, who fall in love for no reason whatsoever. Instead of writing a story where the reader is wondering whether these two characters are supposed to be friends or dating or married or what, you wrote a story where the reader can't even tell whether the characters are supposed to be humans or horses. Instead of a story with a weird conflicting plot, that feels like it's half supposed to be about Dash confessing her love to Twilight, and half about some kind of science experiment gone wrong, you've managed to write a story with no plot at all, where the most interesting thing going on is that Twilight is afraid of the moon and you flat-out refuse to tell us why.

Anyways, up next:

This story is called "Hay Burger." The description reads: "Twilight Sparkle wants a burger. So does Rainbow Dash. And they were lesbians. Except it was all a story written by Maud. But they're still lesbians. Trigger Warning: Contains lesbians (don't read if you're homophobic)"

Nothing much really happens in this story. Twilight and Rainbow Dash are married, and they decide to order some hay burgers. They argue back and forth about whether or not to order fries, because fries are unhealthy. They ultimately decide to order hayburgers with a side-salad, and split an order of fries, thus finding a middle-ground between flavor and good nutrition. The section concludes with a letter to Princess Celestia, summarizing what they have both learned about balancing desire against responsibility.

>Rainbow Dash was a Pegasus pony who lived in Equestria, a land filled with magic and wonder. She was known for her lightning-fast speed and her love of adventure. And her big heart. And her gorgeous lesbian wife.
This is literally the most information you've given us about any character in any of your stories thus far. I'm inclined to give this story a higher rating simply because of that.

Actually, this is probably one of your better stories in general, at least in comparison to everything else here. The story focuses on a simple conversation, the dialogue feels more or less natural, the characters mostly stay on topic except for a couple of places, and, probably most impressive of all, the story is actually about something. That's right, you read it here first folks: Nigel actually managed to write a story with a point.

The focus of the story is a simple conflict between Twilight and Dash: Twilight wants them to have a healthy dinner, Dash wants to pig out a little. They argue back and forth, and ultimately they compromise. The story ends with a simple moral about responsible eating that is summed up in a "Dear Princess" letter. Simplistic? Yes, but for what it is it's actually pretty decent.

Congratulations, Nigel. I have been on you for literal years now to practice writing stuff like this in order to learn basic, rudimentary storytelling, and you finally managed to do it. Granted, you've only managed it once so far, and based on your later stories you don't seem to have learned much from doing it, but still; credit where credit is due. I guess if you let a blind, autistic, borderline-retarded pig sniff around in the mud long enough, he'll eventually find an acorn.

Or at least, that's what I would have said to you if you hadn't made the inexplicable choice to toss in a needless page break and then end the story this way:

>“So, what did you think of Maud's story?” Pinkie Pie danced around Twilight Sparkle and literally bounced off the walls while waiting for Twilight Sparkle's verdict.
>Twilight wasn't certain what to say.
>Rainbow Dash opened her mouth wide to tell everypony exactly what she thought of Maud's story, and Twilight cringed.
Just...why? It was fine the way it was. What could have possibly motivated you to tack this bullshit on at the end? I am docking you every single point I gave you on this story; you're officially a cum-gargling faggot again.


This story is called "Rainbow Dash's Nightmare Jar," and I'm assuming it's about exactly what it appears to be about. Most notably, it's one of the few stories on the list that you've actually enabled ratings on, and even more surprisingly for a Nigel story, it has a net-positive rating.

It's...okay for what it is, I guess. Rainbow Dash has a recurring nightmare in which she is trapped in a jar that keeps filling up with sticky white liquid. She almost drowns, and then she wakes up. Eventually, she seeks out Twilight's advice on the dream. After talking things out, they decide that Rainbow is feeling trapped because she spends too much time flying or something, so she decides to branch out and try new things. She learns to paint and do some other stuff, and the dream stops happening. That's about it.

The main problem with this is that it can't really decide what it wants to be. Obviously, the subject matter suggests that it's just going to be a funny, shitposty story about a well-traveled meme. However, the subject matter is only funny if you already know what the jar and the white liquid are about, while the story itself isn't really humorous. At first, it feels like it might turn into a horror story, what with the foreboding depictions of drowning, and the recurring nightmare and all. However, that never really pans out either. In the end, there's just some middle of the road conversation that doesn't really move the emotional needle one way or the other, and then eventually, with Twilight's help, Dash sorts her shit out and stops having the dream. The story introduces a problem, sends the character on a journey to solve said problem, ultimately she finds the solution she needs by talking things out with her friend, and then the problem resolves, with Dash having made some level of personal growth as a result. Technically, it's a complete story, it's just kind of...meh. You could probably make the case that there's a simple message in here about confiding in friends instead of suffering in silence, but...that's about it.

Anyway, I'm going to just go ahead and toss you a few points here, since again, this is the kind of "learn basic storytelling" exercise I've been telling you to do for awhile now, and you basically pull it off.

And now, finally, as I think this is the last one on the list that I haven't already reviewed:

This one is called "Twilight and Rainbow's Gay Old Time." Seriously Nigel, wtf is it with you and this pairing? I mean, I guess everyone has their favorite characters and things to write about, but still. There are other characters in this show that you could pair up and write terrible romance stories about.

Anyway, the story starts out with Twilight and Dash in bed together. There is a storm outside, and they are hiding from the thunder, and then they start making out. It actually starts out more or less decently, until:

>“Is that a Jojo's reference?” Pinkie Pie asked happily, popping up from nowhere between them, causing the two lovers to scream and back away, falling off their bed.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>“Pinkie, what are you doing here?” Twilight held up some papers. “You're not in this episode!”
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>“Whoopsie!” Pinkie smiled, suddenly on a pink motorcycle (Available in all kid's toy stores now!) as she drove through their bedroom window and flew away, leaving flaming pink trails behind in the sky.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Nigel.

Anyway, after that nonsense happens, the two of them launch into a discussion about coming out of the closet and telling their friends that they're into each other. Some more nonsense ensues. Spike is downstairs taking a shit. Twilight yells down to Spike that she's a flaming homo, Spike yells back that he already knows and that he's also a flaming homo and so is the author of the story, and then they start talking about Rainbow Dash's grandparents, and how neither of them are aware that Twilight and Rainbow are flaming homos.

Eventually it's revealed that, for some completely unknown reason, Twilight invited Dash's homophobic grandfather to visit them in the middle of a thunderstorm. He shows up, bellows "I hate gays" at the top of his lungs, and asks to meet Dash's boyfriend. At this point, it is revealed that Dash told her grandfather that Twilight was a boy. Also, he apparently found a comic that she was drawing or something, and since he apparently also hates comics, Dash had to tell him that she was drawing a picture of her boyfriend. Or something. So now, Grandpa Dash is under the impression that Twilight is a "blond dude with a lightning mane."

Despite it being a completely inappropriate time to do so, Dash shows Twilight the comic book she's been working on, and Twilight compliments her on it. They yammer autistically about it for longer than is appropriate. Then, they remember that Dash's grandpa is still downstairs, so Twilight uses her magic to transform herself into Rainbow Dash's comic book OC, because she can do that apparently. It now appears that, until we are told to do otherwise, we must now refer to Twilight Sparkle as a male character named Daybreak Dawn.

Dash spends a considerable amount of time licking her chops over boy-Twilight, which seems to imply that she's less gay than she thinks she is. There is some more autism that is a little hard to follow, and then eventually they wind up downstairs. Dash's Grandpa apparently hasn't given up and gone home yet.

>He had a mane just like Rainbow Dash, only black, though with added golden highlights at the tips.
You haven't described Rainbow Dash's mane in this story, so this comparison is invalid.

There's some more autism, and then Rainbow Dash introduces her grandfather to Dawn Surprise, or whatever boy-Twilight's new name is. Grandpa sends Dash off to the kitchen to fix breakfast because she's a woman, and Dash realizes that she doesn't now how to cook, because she's bad at being a woman.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up an egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up another egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up another egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

This text is copypasted exactly as it appears. I'm getting some weird flashbacks all of a sudden:

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-mare declared, appearing behind Twilight with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

Anyway, Dash is trying to bake a cake or something, and she's not very good at it. She goes out to tell her grandfather that, eventually, he will need to eat all the eggs. However, she will have to figure out how to cook them first. Some more incomprehensible autism ensues.

>"Steamed hams!" Rainbow blurted for no reason.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>"What?" Her grandfather whatted.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>"I mean creamed hams! Dawn's creamed in my hamstrings before!"
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

ANYWAY, there's a knock at the door all of a sudden. Rainbow flies over to answer it, and Big Mac is there. Apparently, Apple Bloom left her lunchbox at Twilight Sparkle's house for some inexplicable reason, and for some equally inexplicable reason, Big Mac decided to come over in the middle of a thunderstorm to pick it up. He sees man-Twilight, and immediately begins salivating over his massive horse dong. Then, he leaves.

Then, once again for some completely inexplicable reason, lightning suddenly strikes the treebrary, and because Rainbow Dash conveniently left the gas on in the kitchen from when she was trying to make cookies or whatever, the treebrary explodes. Man-Twilight casts a spell to protect them all, and in the process turns back into Twilight Sparkle, so thankfully there will be no further confusion about names or genders.

At this point, it seems the jig is up. Twilight and Rainbow Dash kiss in front of grandpa and confess that they are actually ponut-bumpers. Grandpa confesses that he actually doesn't care and he's only been saying "I hate gays" over and over throughout the story because he likes to troll gays. Since he had no way of knowing that Dash and Twilight were gay, it's unclear who exactly he thought he was trolling, but...we'll put a pin in that for now.

Anyway, at this point the story takes a rather bizarre turn. Since Twilight's house is now destroyed, and presumably there's still a thunderstorm going on, Twilight and Dash decide to go to Rarity's house to fuck, because "she isn't in this episode" and that means her house is free. This feels like a good time to mention that I really, really hate this kind of fourth-wall humor.

Meanwhile, Dash's grandfather flies off and makes the following cryptic statement:

>“I can't believe Dashie asked me to do this, just to see if her gay lover would do anything awful when confronted by a situation like this. What a strange little pony! Well, before I go home...”
Yes, it would seem that the shocking twist in this week's episode is that Dash knew all along that her Grandfather wasn't actually homophobic, and that the whole thing was just a ruse to see how Twilight would react. This completely negates all of Dash's motivations throughout the entire story and renders all of her actions nonsensical, but...we'll put a pin in that as well.

Also, it turns out that Dash's grandpa is gay himself, so he flies off to the local gay club to watch Big Mac, who is also gay, do his gay dance.

The story concludes with a letter from Dash to Princess Celestia, informing her that she and Twilight are gay.

Wew. Alrighty then.
Well, Nigel, that is all of the stories on your current fimfiction page, so you can't ever say that I haven't given your writing a fair shake. As far as I am aware, I have now read everything you've ever written (except for the thing you specifically asked this thread to read, which I refuse to read on principle). Suffice it to say I am unimpressed overall. In fact, that's actually kind of an understatement. I was unimpressed to begin with; now I'm actually even less impressed than I would have been if you'd written nothing.

As much as you seem to think that everyone on this site is obsessed with you, the truth is that nobody here really cares all that much. You're really only an issue when you're here causing drama, when you're gone I don't really give much thought to where you are or what you're doing. As such, I've only ever read the stories you've specifically submitted to this board. This is probably the most actual attention I've paid to any of your writings since Glimmergate. As I said, I didn't really come into this expecting much, but what really struck me about these selections is not just how bad they are, but how little you seem to actually care.

Most of these stories are not showpieces by any stretch of the imagination. "Hayburger" is decent for what it is. "Rainbow Dash's Nightmare Jar", surprisingly, is passable. "Twilight and Rainbow's Gay Old Time" is probably the only thing in here with any actual entertainment value, and that's mostly just due to it having obviously been written to be shitposty and silly. Incidentally, I noticed you titled the chapter in that story "Hitchcock's Bomb Theory," and I notice you seem to have made an effort to maintain some degree of constant tension in that story, so...that's something, I guess. The main problem there is that most of the tension came from nonsensical events being piled on top of each other: Dash's gay-hating grandpa shows up in the middle of a storm for basically no reason, Rainbow Dash has to cook food for basically no reason, she leaves the gas on for basically no reason, Big Mac shows up for basically no reason, the house explodes for basically no reason...

However, what really stands out more than anything else is the mediocrity present in the rest of the pieces. Most of these read like you just don't even care what you're writing about. I mean, you literally have a story in here called "A Pointless Story." And sure enough, it delivers on what it advertises. Why even write something like this? Your romantic stories are incredibly dull. "Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love" was particularly horrendous. Many of these stories are not even fully developed ideas; they're barely even fully developed outlines of ideas. What's striking is that these pieces are actually, measurably worse than your Silver Star thing. It's as I said: as bad as that story was, it was at least clear you cared about it and were putting real effort into it. This stuff? It's like your whole attitude is like "here's some shit I wrote on autopilot, read it or don't."

Anyway, that's about all I've got for now. Thank you all for coming to my TED Talk.
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I love u GG.
If I was a cute pony mare with a hawt plot, I'd let you rail me.
But I'm not.
I don't want to break your princples but I do want some more GG dunks on Noigel reviews. Tho, somepart of me wonders what that says about me, however, it is really funny. I died a few times. Sry, Nigel. Nothing personal, kid.
>If I was a cute pony mare
In fact, you kind doxed me with those latest images of yours.
>I don't want to break your princples but I do want some more GG dunks on Noigel reviews
Actually I didn't notice this but for some reason I had the "hide mature" switch set on fimfiction, so there were a couple of stories in there that I missed. I suppose for the sake of completion I could do those too.
Yay but aslo neigh. I realized something after I made that post: I rather you finished the next chapter in our collab. However, I will never force you to do anything and also maybe you can do both, just that I remember you saying something about how you'd use this month for writing it or something.

Regardless to whatever your next project may be, I look forward to it.

>pic Glimmer talking lewds
I should have my 4chan story wrapped up in the next day or two and then I will focus on getting our collab done. Nigel's stuff isn't a huge priority either way lol, I mostly just did that for keks because I had some late-night time to kill but was too tired to spend it doing anything that required brainpower.
Well, then. Chop chop. Those reviews aren't gonna write themselves.

Also, I look forward to being spooked.^^
That didn't actually make much sense. I just don't into reading comprehension.
>You have NOT been around long enough
Nigger, I've been here since day one. Shove off with your nonsense.
>doesn't get the dopamine rush
How? You're still replying to him.
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I wanted to add that I really appriciate the art. I like the ones to the left most but it's a hard decision.^^

>The queen of ants decreed that she wished there to be a tunnel from the hive to a tree.
>A builder ant saw this as his ticket up.
>He began to dig a hole in the ground near the tree.
>That's when he uncovered a couple of rocks.
>He pull them out of the hole and made a square with them.
>He went back to his hole but on his way he saw some thick fallen branches.
>He picked them up and added walls and a roof to the stone square.
>He returned to the hole again but saw on his way some moss on the ground and some leaves on the trees.
>He grabbed a lot of them and made the branch-roof waterproof with the leaves and made a floor of moss.
>He kept working with his building till sunset.
>In the end he had a beautiful house.
>He then returned to his tunnel and found a hole.
>The whole dya had been spent.
"Argh! Why am I so worthless?" he shouted out to the heavens above.
Finished my /mlp/ story if anyone wants to read it:
Hey Nigel, if you're still lurking and sulking the way you normally do, you might want to check out this group I found on fimfic:

Completely unbiased reviews written by an AI. No human element whatsoever other than the guy feeding it prompts. Literally the most objective criticism you could possibly ask for. It gives surprisingly insightful advice.
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Also, Sven, since I am now finished with the /mlp/ story, I am once again officially working on our collab.