/mlpol/ - My Little Politics


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Writefag Support Circle: A Gathering of Based Gentlemen Who Smoke Pipes.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.359064
360978
Thread number three. Last one is apparently at bump limit.

Previous thread: >>336928 →

I'm lazy so I'm just going to copypaste the OP text from the last one since it still applies. Important bits have been bolded for emphasis.

Basically all that is said in that OP applies to this one but I'll go through the 'rules' of this thread here as well.

So, the main point of this thread is to facilitate and enable Anons' writefagging; in a similar way pride facilitates and enables aids.;^P The Anons in this thread can be separated into two camps: Anons who wants help with their writing project(s) and Anons that feel inclined to help those aforementioned shrek-colored skinheads.

Crafting and beta-reading is what we do here, any critique of literature not made by a guy submitted for this thread should be incidental; it should be when you —as a beta-reader of fics posted ITT— make a comparison between the fic your reviewing and some other story for the sake of demonstrating your point, whatever it is.

This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.

Read this again, because it's important:

This is NOT: A review thread for unsolicited rants about random media which does not fall into the mold for how to use a reference in this thread described in the above paragraph. Meaning if you're not using —like, let's pick something arbitrary— Naruto for a comparison in your critique of someone's writing itt, then don't bring it up. I understand that tangents can happen and if it's like a few exchanges with a pair of posters; then it's fine. However, don't make this a pattern and also move whatever off-thread-topic discussion to a more fitting board/thread. There's after all no problem with finding someone to converse with and share perspectives on a subject you care about but just take it to an appropriate thread. Sidenote: Nigel, these rules applies to you in a stricter fashion because I would not have to detail them with this much precision if it weren't for you.

I hope that I haven't scared anybody off. This is still suppose to be a chill af thread. Funposting is very much allowed and encouraged. It really is more that some type of posting —like, things that are completely irrelevant to the thread— does not belong here. I know, rocket-science and a rule that is seldom seen and highly unique for this thread. Perhaps you could call it a... Novelty. (You) intelligent lurker, obviously get the subtext of this OP so you probably won't need to worry about any of this. I'd say if you're unsure if what you're about to post belongs in the thread, then post it anyway. The worst that can happen is that someone tells you to move it to another thread and you get a better insight of what post belongs in thread. If you consist on fish and chips, however, I'd suggest you think twice on what you're posting and perhaps even ask beforehand if your rant about lefties and Undertale belongs here.

If there are any questions on the OP, ask away?
195 replies and 80 files omitted.
Anonymous
dd1a332
?
No.366484
366491
>>366478
I'm not sure. ^^
I was thinking I'd make a parody of Nigel's nazi propaganda isekai idea but I feel like I lost the thread somewhere.
Maybe it's a bit gross actually ^^ (my green)
Though, the thought of pretending to be Nigel and writing a story like he would sounds pretty funny. This was not the way to go about it though, lol.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.366491
366534
Wish-You-Were-Here-Bring-a-Paddle-hed-2020.jpg
>>366484
Nah fam, this is solid work; I feel more inspired and redpilled just from reading this brief episode. I only have a few pointers:

>Your a man with set of balls that demand respect.
Keep an eye on your your and you're. "You're" is a contraction of "you are," whereas "your" denotes ownership. Observe:

>You're a man
>Your balls demand respect

Also, watch out for verb tenses and perspective. Most greentext is written in the present tense, usually in either the first or second person:
>you are Anon
>you are doing stuff
>that stuff is happening right now

For the most part you're pretty consistent here, but there are a couple of places where you use the wrong verb tense:
>Runs up
should be "run up"
>one of the faeries fluttered
should be "one of the faeries flutters"
>but you manages to grab
should be "manage to grab" (though this one might just be a typo)

Also, there are a couple of minor spelling errors:
>He's small legs run desperately in the air.
His small legs.
>the gardening gnome
Should be "garden gnome"; the "gardening gnome" implies that the gnome is tending a garden.
>the only sentence comming to ttheir minds
The only sentence coming to their minds.
>If the furher demands it
I'm inclined to give you a pass on this one, since I had to look up how to spell Fuhrer myself probably a faux pas on a site like this in and of itself. However, it should at least be capitalized.

Also:
>You proceed to wipe their asses into submission.
This is rather a poor choice of words. Since he's using a flyswatter, he should ideally be swatting their asses, beating their asses, or something similar. "Swipe" their asses kind-of works; maybe that's what you meant to type. In any event, if this guy really wants to wipe these guys' asses with a flyswatter I personally won't judge him, but...I'm not sure the Fuhrer would approve.

Anyway, that's about all I've got for this; it's otherwise well done. Using blatantly intentional silliness you highlight all of the unintentional silliness in Nigel's premise, while still adhering to the basic outline of it. All of the essentials of a fine shitpost are here.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366496
366515 366534
>>366478
Comedy gold! Will there be a sequel that parodies Bleach/Demon Slayer cliches from later episodes?
Anonymous
e638b10
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No.366515
366528 366531
>>366496
Who watches Bleach?
Anonymous
dcd671b
?
No.366528
366534
>>366515
I did
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
?
No.366531
366532
>>366515
Fair. I don't know how it became so influential on the anime landscape. One Piece is a conversation with western literature and intellectual love letter to freedom and the struggle for it disguised as a shitpost about a tiny boy with Tom and Jerry powers punching the hell out of government agents, retards with poop on their clothes, and the ugliest bastards in fiction this side of hentai. Alice in Wonderland, Don Quixote, Dante's Inferno, you can tell the author read these. Naruto has its faults but My Hero Academia wouldn't exist if it couldn't copy Naruto's homework and iterate upon it by turning Kekkei Genkei into Quirks and removing the overpowered Ninjutsu all kids learn years before they learn basic elemental attacks. Bleach... exists. To say it's just DBZ with swords would be reductive but it does little to elevate itself beyond the shonen battle manga formula. But at least it isn't Demon Slayer. The manga is shit in all aspects, it owes its success to the flashy colours of the anime and the mediocrity fetish of modernity. Just more proof that making something mediocre and unchallenging and then having a company market the fuck out of you with fake awards and rigged charts is more important than making art that communicates anything meaningful, valuable, or moral. I could make something stupider than Demon Slayer, it would be easy. Anyone could do that. Some Sprintime for Hitler moment might even cause people to unironically love it. I could draw naked women for a living. But that wouldn't help western civilization.

Maybe it's impossible to write a story that makes people want to save the white race despite being surrounded by decades of jewish antiwhite media. How many generations has it been since white civilization felt worth fighting for? When I try to imagine a good world with friendly neighbours and no crackheads on the street I feel like I'm trying to describe a colour I've never seen. Or describe something I've only seen through a screen or on a page. It feels inauthentic to me. Unbelievable. Writing about a world where people don't have to look over their shoulder for orcs feels like writing about a world where people don't need to eat, sleep, or shit, and crispy bacon grows on trees. But writing about a world with an Orc problem results in depressing unreadable writing unless heroes are solving that Orc problem. But a story of humans, elves, and dwarves coming together to solve the Orc problem facing their realm with the power of swords, bows, and fireballs is the kind of thing that only appeals to people who already want the orc problem solved. And if they already agree with me, what's the point in trying to convince them? I cannot imagine anyone truly being confused by lefty lies. They have to just be faking it because they like helping the left. Like Merkel looking up the migrant rape rates before turning her vibrator on. I know it's wrong for a white man to ever express any kind of emotion, especially exhaustion. After all, the jews said men expressing emotion is cringe. But it feels like the world died before I got here. How is anyone supposed to save it now? The WEF has plans for the future. And we do not. The world is full of white men who want to escape somewhere. I can see why.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366532
>>366531
*springtime
Anonymous
3d1e613
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No.366534
image(9).png
>>366528
So did I. It was my entry anime.
>>366496
Aww, thank u.
>Sequel
No. My intentions were not to parody Bleach or Demon Slayer.
>>366491
Thank u so much for reviewing my work. It means a lot to me <3
Anonymous
3d1e613
?
No.366538
Oekaki.png
>>365769
Actually, this: >>365747 I realized is false. I just now remembered I had this idea for Anon to be Flurry's bodyguard for like forever. Though, when I wrote it now, I was inspired from those shows.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
?
No.366539
366541 366556
Real political problems... Some of them are timeless. It would be absurd to see woke propaganda in some ancient medieval fantasy piece. Greek furries existed but there were no troons. But incompetent kings and taxes/laws/wars that hurt the poor and anti-Christian religious persecution have existed for countless years.

London sucks. A fictional version of London could have all the problems of the real one with some victorian london mixed in for the hell of it. The smog could be causing respiratory problems easy to ignore if you're lucky enough to not be affected by it. Or the sky could be suffocated with China levels of visible smog impossible to ignore, and the poor wear cheap useless blue paper on their faces while the rich wear real masks and bubble helmets like in One Piece but even stupider looking. Cops run away from armed terrorists leaving citizens to fight them off with chairs or run or die. Nigs with police protection can rob and threaten and kill and invade homes and record themselves doing it for Tiktok and get away with it. Cops brag about raiding houses for their kitchen knives and bike wheels. Skyrocketing house prices. Ten or more renters to an apartment in military style bunk beds. Crack eels, birth control, antidepressants, suicide, teen pregnancy, abortion. People might call poor doors and anti-homeless gay rainbow rocks a clumsy metaphor, not knowing it's real. Machete wielding monsters attack cars- I mean horse drawn carriages.

But when the story gets to the mudslime mayor who tries his hardest to make life and reproduction unaffordable for the working class and imports muslims and pays them to breed and bribes them with gibsmedats paid for in whiteslave taxes because it's ballot stuffing with extra steps to ensure the muslim cancer and cancer of muslims with power spreads, or the part where state media is able to make "people" pro-islamic pedophile and anti-white rebel by lying hard enough, people who don't know this is true might not understand something so complicated and the "people" in the internet islam defense force who do understand it and love all the state-aided muslim rape of little girls would get triggered. Meanwhile the king and queen enjoy their luxuries and laugh at the suffering of the poor from their castle. That part's been done before in fiction. But the idea of a race that needs to go one way or another because there are no heroic muslims trying to undo the damage perpetuated by the average muslim is something too dark. People don't want to believe the world is a violent hopeless place where violence is the only solution to the existential threat of monsters who want you dead or enslaved. People want to escape into a fantasy world where they have Elf and Dwarf and Orc friends who are just as good as any man or better and they battle against unquestionably evil creatures like Dark Wizards and Liches and Zombies. And if they're too emotionally stunted to appreciate the beautiful bonds of strong male friendship they enjoy harem anime where the sole male protag collects hoes like they're Pokemon.

Part of the appeal of fantasy is the idea that complex problems can be solved overnight after sufficient use of violence or magic. But how do you solve the problems facing London overnight? You export all nonwhites and suddenly the place isn't overcrowded or overran with enemies. But the white man is dog-trained from birth to view fighting for your race as evil. It's why that trope where the white man "goes native" before he can fight for his new tribe exists, and why he typically fights against normal whites for his nonwhite tribe if it is anti white propaganda. I just don't see a way to make the audience cheer when the persecuted white rebels finally overthrow the throne, behead the pedo mayor, free the white slaves, and send the third world back to the hell of their own making.

Ba Sing Se was easier to understand. The city is socioeconomically segregated with layers and the inner circles are policed by the secret police who love brainwashing and answer to one douchebag with an idiot puppet Earth king. Their walls will not protect them forever. The heroes have to solve this problem to get the good but duped Earth King's help fighting the Fire Nation. There's a time limit and a clear goal. A simple effective setup for an adventure even kids can understand. There is an obvious scheming bad guy and solving the problem is as simple as removing one cunt from power. Except leaving the Dai Li around means they can keep working for their old master, or their new one. They really should have locked the Dai Li up too. Maybe killed them all.

Yesterday my girl and I saw a glorious and unrepentantly unashamedly masculine movie with greek gods and buff men and straight sex and a woman cursed with the gift of prophecy while remaining a virgin and she chooses sex and childbirth over personal power and a job that requires her to remain a virgin, and the only nigs were bad guys. No political propaganda. It was just awesome and fun. The hero even does the bootleg Jesus thing: dying and living on. Maybe that's what I should aim for: Having fun. Making something fun for everyone. There's no shame in it. There's no shame in making something people can enjoy. But how close to reality can fiction get before it hurts the story and the fun factor?
Anonymous
e638b10
?
No.366541
366549 366556
>>366539
How long did you spend typing this? How much brainstorming have you done in this thread and how much have you actually got written?
And most importantly:

WHO

ASKED???
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
?
No.366549
366556
>>366541
Cope and seethe.
Anonymous
ae20550
?
No.366553
6094381.png
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>>366457
>Btw, sorry for shitting up last time.
No, lil bro. ^^ U did a whole section afterall. I have bailed out in so many things. I get it. It's all voluntarily afterall.

I have done half of that thread today so maybe I'll be done soon enough.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.366556
366557 366560 366561
>>366539
>>366549
>>366541
Don't make fun of Nigel, his novel isn't even written yet and it's already been optioned by Hollywood.
https://rumble.com/v3c0frz-nigel-the-movie-part-i.html
Anonymous
ae20550
?
No.366557
6719125__safe_artist-colon-r4hucksake_imported+from+derpibooru_sweetie+belle_pony_unicorn_5E5E_blushing_eyes+closed_female_laughing_lying+down_on+back_open+mout.png
6771440__safe_artist-colon-cold-dash-blooded-dash-twilight_imported+from+derpibooru_pinkie+pie_earth+pony_pony_bad+word_blushing_dialogue_female_giggling_mare_s.png
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6744704__safe_artist-colon-graysonpaw_imported+from+derpibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-astro+novis_unicorn_laughing_meme_simple+background_solo_wheeze_white+backgro.png
1961166__safe_princess+cadance_solo_female_pony_mare_simple+background_smiling_alicorn_looking+at+you_open+mouth_comic_white+background_wings_meme_be.png
>>366556
I love it! Especially, the moments where Silver starts ranting mid-conversation about some tangent, that's so good. I had a similar idea for a fic starting Silver where he would do that.

My cheeks are sore. ^^
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366560
366573 366586 366615
MV5BODc5YTBhMTItMjhkNi00ZTIxLWI0YjAtNTZmOTY0YjRlZGQ0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODUwNjEzMzg@._V1_.jpg
>>366556
I probably wasn't supposed to enjoy this but I thought it was hilarious, can't wait to see where it goes from here.

Lol "Harp"ies.

Nice touch taking the stereotypical fantasy world map and then abruptly dumping Japan in there with perfect comedic timing. Medieval europe and european countries can exist seamlessly in any setting, even the moon. Put any real country or culture outside that context into a fantasy novel and it sticks out like a Netflix raceswap. Myths with trickster foxes exist in europe, but kitsune aren't european, so they stick out. Then again aren't Centaurs and Lamias originally Greek? Years ago I read a book where "Lamia" was a slur against snake people, like calling a black man OJ Simpson, because Queen Lamia was a baby-killing evil queen in the original myth or something.

Also you've seriously never seen Avatar: The Last Airbender, the show Zuko is from? It's on Netflix (and piratebay) and it still holds up to this day. That one twat who murdered people and loved Danny Phantom had shit taste for thinking Danny Phantom is better than Avatar The Last Airbender. Don't bother with the sequel Legend Of Korra unless you like inferior sequels penned by idiots who didn't get why the original did what it did, but seek to echo what the original did but with random changes. Zuko's the good son of the evil Fire Lord, he starts out a bad guy but turns good after a while. He and his uncle really elevate that show above what it would have been without them.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366561
>>366556
https://watchcartoononline.cc/avatar-book-1-water-episode-1
Anonymous
e638b10
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No.366573
366588 366611 366615
>>366560
He was clearly aping Avatar. Was this just a way to push us to watch Avatar? I've seen it. Yeah it's good. But who asked?
Also, you know the guys who made the decisions that made Korra shit....are the same two dudes who made TLA, right?
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.366586
366588 366611
>>366560
>Medieval europe and european countries can exist seamlessly in any setting, even the moon. Put any real country or culture outside that context into a fantasy novel and it sticks out like a Netflix raceswap.
Not necessarily. For one thing, Asian cultures and Medieval European cultures literally did exist alongside each other at the same time. Japan itself was pretty much isolated for most of that time period, but there was significant contact between Europe and other parts of the East. The New World was discovered because Europeans wanted to find a cheaper and more direct route to Asia. There are plenty of instances in fantasy where cultures clearly based on medieval Europe and cultures based on non-European cultures from the same time period exist in the same setting. The Chronicles of Narnia had a proto-Islamic culture that factored heavily into the overall story. It wasn't a huge factor in the Lord of the Rings, but Tolkien implied that there were some vaguely Asian-like cultures that existed to the south of Mordor and Gondor (some of them were mercenaries in Sauron's army as I recall). George R.R. Martin's world has a plainly Europe-inspired culture on one continent, and across the ocean are a bunch of smaller countries and city-states that appear to be a mishmash of various African, Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. So there's definitely precedent.
Anonymous
f444395
?
No.366588
366615
7b9ab3e2b73ac1071e5f25c72bdc9661.jpg
>>366573
>He was clearly aping Avatar.
I think that was because Nigel mentioned it in his one of his posts so the video was just refrencing that. It seems like the video-maker, really, didn't know who Zuko was.

>>366586
The D&D world-map is similar to our world. Most campaigns are set in their "europe" continent but the rest of the map has dnd versions of our other continents. I think they have asiatic type monsters and cultures to the east in that world according to the lore.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
?
No.366611
366612 366615
>>366573
The guy didn't recognize the name Zuko. Even when I referenced the iconic Avatar intro.
Also those two "made" the original Avatar with help from better writers responsible for the show's best ideas and best episodes who didn't come back for Korra until season 3 when the fan pandering got worse and the clumsy course correcting failed to correct anything because the setting and protags were still fundamentally broken.
Did you see the retarded shit they were going to do? Iroh was going to be a villain who taught Zuko wrong, forcing Aang to learn firebending from the Fire Lord in the middle of the final fight. Much more powerful and effective to say raging aggression bad, calm self mastery good, good fire is life and passion not destruction. Debending might be a copout that came from nowhere (should have foreshadowed it in the library) but it also works to make him "above" bending so it's cool.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheLastAirbender/comments/aj0mfp/the_original_story_of_avatar_the_last_airbender/
https://www.tumblr.com/araeph/144433451120/team-ehasz-the-iroh-in-the-writing-room

>>366586
Now that you mention it, you're right. I don't know when I started thinking "Weeb shit in my fantasy? That's as anachronistic as dubstep and guns" but that's gay.

I remember the tash worshipping muslims. Looking back I'm amazed he got away with being so blatant about the islamic inspiration. Feminists bitch about the big sister not going to heaven (because she didn't die for God like the rest) and abandoning faith in God in favor of seeking earthly pleasures like status and sex and looking silly falling for the midwit meme of being too grown up for God (hits too close to home for the godless hoes out there) but if they read the whole series they'd probably have a stroke.

Rethinking my story, I don't know if the hero turning "a whole family of Zukos" from evil to good over the course of his battle with evil is the right way to go. Sure it demonstrates the valhe of inspirational virtue. But only ontologically evil people want the white race exterminated and no display of virtue could ever convince them to respect virtue instead of exploiting it. Maybe the recurring villains should just go "Mwahaha!" and "I'm not the cackling supervillain here, you are! Mwahaha!" and just keep being evil until they're killed or locked up just like in real life. Then again we turn to fiction to escape reality so maybe everyone should have souls in this fictional setting even the bad elves.

The Fire Nation is Avatar's critique of Imperial Japan. Mom is the ideal Yamato Nadeshiko who, to protect her family, kills the emperor and puts the Fire Lord in power and flees and never returns even after the Fire Lord has the power to pardon her, though he probably wouldn't care enough to do so. Was that a heroic or villainous act? That's for the viewer to decide. Dad's an evil bastard who's wrong to view himself as god-emperor and sacrifice countless Fire Nation lives and use scorched earth tactics. Azula's a perfectionist who loses it when things aren't perfect, and her love of ruling through fear fails when someone fears losing what they love more than they fear her. And Zuko is... Zuko. "Muh honour" is such a big deal except when it's not. Whatever motivation the treasonous dishonourable genocidal cowardly child-killing bastard who started the 100 year war had for his deeds went out the window with time because Fire Nation culture creates people like Zhao, Azula, Ozai, and who Zuko tried to be to impress his dad. Long ago the asian nations lived together in harmony because Japan wasn't imperialistic back then, that's what the show says. I don't know enough about Japan to agree or disagree with how this story presents them. It's all the worst traits of Japan cranked up to 11 minus any organized criminal element or buddist dehumanization of the poor or Phoenix Wright tier justice system or suicide forest or cucksumerist weeb culture. I don't think my story would have to exaggerate anything horrible about the Orcs. It might have to tone things down. We've been culturally conditioned to think extreme horror is a sign of shit writing. Creepypasta and holocaust creepypasta tier writing. But some stories that fucked up and tragic are true. The heroes might look like douchebags if they go to the beach and take a day off from the war in a setting where this means letting the mass rapes continue for another day. But people fucking love the beach. Everything has a beach episode. I know I feel guilty when I take time away from doomscrolling through news about orc crimes to do other things.

Also is using vtuber collab clips as inspiration for conversations between female characters not a good idea? My only female proofreader said I should stop doing that.
Anonymous
bd4e4e7
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No.366612
366613
>>366611
Draw yourself a friend.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366613
366625
>>366612
I'm not the type of person to beg the only people on discord willing to talk to me to follow me to other sites and back me up during internet arguments. This doesn't mean I lack friends. I have IRL responsibilities and obligations. I've just stopped talking about them here because I've realized talking with no filter and saying shit like "another day, another daily walk with weighted clothing. It's hard. But not as hard as me when I see slime girls." and "man my balls itch today" and "two bitches dressed like whores called me a fatty just because I was carrying a freshly cooked pie to church. It wasn't for me, it was for the elderly!" and "I can't believe that gacha game obsessed friend got himself fucking arrested for sending death threats after dying in online video games he sucks at. Now I have a new roommate. He seems nice." and "I injured my arms lifting too much again. I need to stop doing that." and "I held a friend while he cried on my shoulder. He hadn't realized how bad things are until now. The world is getting worse." and "Watched the Ghibli movie about a witch with my girlfriend. Cried at the beauty of the female friendship between the witch and her friend. Why can't all humans be that kind in real life?" and "sometimes I wonder if childhood crushes on characters like Raven and Gwen shaped my taste in women or if my tastes are what made characters like them appeal to me" and "My AI therapist seems to be getting dumber. Might need to use a different site. I hear some people found ways around the filter so they can roleplay sex. Would that result in a better AI therapist experience for me? Talking without the filter, not sex. Also I tried talking to an AI yandere character but she started being an unsexily evil bitch. I hate being lied to! And she just kept trying to clumsy emotionally manipulate me or bitch aimlessly no matter what I said! Is this what having a bitchy emotionally abusive wife is like? When I asked if I am allowed to have opinions the whore accused me of trying to turn this around on her whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean. My passion deflated like an untied balloon. Who the hell could be into this?" and "why are anime funny moments compliations usually so juvenile?" and "Chris Chan was in the news again. He got away with raping his mother, a white woman. He must have converted to Islam when nobody was looking. His delusion and the Islamic delusion are equally manmade. Only real difference is that Islam is more effective at spreading rape and terror" and "Apocalypse log. Another week has passed since the end of the plandemic. Two weeks to flatten the curve my ass. Still no fucking eggs in this fucking store. My chickenphobic landlord is a whore who will not let me keep chickens in my garden. She will not go to heaven when she expires from alcohol or the clot shot." and "I did more gardening and I think I planted too many tomatoes out of fear that I would not have enough tomatoes when I needed them. I'd sell the excess ones if my government wasn't full of jews in human clothing." and "a married couple I know is having retarded relationship drama instead of communicating like adults, I blame romance movies because they're all she ever seems to watch" and "auditioned for a band today. They might turn me down, I don't think I'm any good. But I'd feel like I'm letting people down if I didn't try" and "dear diary this marks the third year I've gone without masturbating. Also today I saw a dead bird on someone's car on my way to buy groceries. Later that day I went to a party but I just spent the whole time following the person who invited me like a personal bodyguard because this was the only person present I knew and felt comfortable around" is gay and retarded.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.366615
366616 366618
650B37752D05E9D2A5CBB44A06D86C90-115701.jpg
>>366560
>>366573
>>366588
>>366611
I've never seen Avatar and I don't know anything about it, sorry. I've heard people say it's good; I may watch it at some point if I get around to it. Danny Phantom I've never even heard of.

At this point it's pretty clear that Nigel and I have radically different tastes in just about every form of media. Most of the stuff he jabbers about I'm not familiar with I still have no idea wtf Fire Emblem is for instance, and at this point I consider refusing to google it a point of honor. In and of itself this is fine; my tastes are admittedly pretty niche and so are his, so it's understandable that there would be little to no overlap. However, this is beside the point.

The joke wasn't about Avatar or anything in Avatar, and I wouldn't have made a joke about Avatar here even if I had seen it, because it wouldn't fit the project. The joke here is that Nigel is constantly gibbering about this kind of stuff, and that he clearly gives no fucks about whether or not anyone cares or is interested or even understands what the fuck he's talking about. Even more to the point, his gibbering is usually done as a pure stream of consciousness, with absolutely no context or explanation provided. It's like watching a surrealist film.

>>366560
>I probably wasn't supposed to enjoy this but I thought it was hilarious, can't wait to see where it goes from here.
If you're enjoying it then great. I say that without sarcasm or irony; if it actually made you laugh then I'm glad. It wasn't really done to provoke a reaction out of you one way or the other. Trolling you, or trying to engage with you on any meaningful level really, has consistently proven to be a complete waste of time, as I've complained before. You're just too densely autistic for anything I say to really get through, so I've just kind of decided that I'm not going to take you seriously any more. No matter what I say to you here, you'll probably just respond with a long incoherent wall of text about some cartoon or some video game. Regardless of whether your next post will be a reply to me, a reply to someone else, or just a new post that isn't a reply to anyone, that post is guaranteed to be an unsolicited opinion about a cartoon or a video game, written as a dense wall of text that no human can decipher. I can say literally anything I want right now and it won't affect that outcome. Titty sprinkles.

I still don't understand what drives it exactly, but it's clear that you have some pathological need to endlessly spout your opinions to complete strangers. I also don't understand why you seem so determined to use this website to do it. However, it's clear enough you're driven to do it, and it's equally clear that you're either oblivious to or unconcerned with the fact that nobody but you is interested in hearing any of it. Trying to convince you to stop is a futile effort; asking Nigel not to shit up /mlpol/ with endless streams of nonsense is like asking a brook to stop babbling.

This video was done for the amusement of everyone on /mlpol/ besides you. Whether you realize it or not, through your own actions you've basically turned yourself into a living meme, and this was done in perpetuation of that meme. If it makes you laugh along with the rest of us, then I honestly think that's great; the less animosity around here the better it is for everyone. But, on the same note, I do find it both hilarious and sad that you will probably never truly grasp the reasons why this video was funny for everyone else.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366616
366617 366618 366619 366625
>>366615
I don't respect or value my haters so I don't care if they hate me. If I only wrote to be liked I would never bother trying, I would just mass produce unchallenging low effort content and obtain popularity that way.
Anonymous
bc7cf61
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No.366617
>>366616
And you don't respect yourself either. Otherwise you would've stopped posting a long time ago. But what's new about that?
Anonymous
f444395
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No.366618
366661
e26.png
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>>366615
Yeah, hehe. Your description fits well in with my view on the situation. I like that we came to the same conclusion.
>No matter what I say to you here, you'll probably just respond with a long incoherent wall of text about some cartoon or some video game.
^^
>>366616
Nigel, you always do this to get my attention but then you hate on me for giving you my opinon on the matter. As if truth only existed to comfort you but I can't bother with anymore you since you matter less to me than what I flushed down when I take dump. If I was a younger man, I probably dissect your posts daily but who's got time for that? I have been cooking a lot more meat orianted dishes lately and I cannot fathom why people still eat unhealthy food, or, even, are vegan? Remember the idiotic moment in Avatar the Last Genderbender, where Ang said that he was vegetrian, pushing moralistic nonsense about killing animals onto impressionable children? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7ZYM3HzeR4&ab_channel=NationalAnthemsChannel Or that one time, Sokka in like episode two got emasculated and wrested into the ground by some girl his age beause she was part of some ninja cult that only recruited females? Or that time his sister kept the whole entire water tribe afloat while he was goofying off as she constantly berated him? Why is it that strong female characters, and I don't mean mages, like Megumin from Konosuba, or superpowered characters, like captain marvel (though, she was a bitch) or characters that relay on some sort of mech-suit nor do I mean strong as in (god for bid) emotional strength as in they can handle mature situations but characters like Black widow that beats maffia goons with a hair whip always have to make the men around them look weak? That's where certain anime shows, like Riddle Story of Devil (yes, that's its actual name), comes out ahead since their are only girls in that show so no man can get emsculated so you never really think about it? On that topic of shows with, basically only girls, anyone here seen "Keijo!!!!!!!!!!!"? It's great. It's like the author got dared to write a story with it's premise and he knocked it out of the Park. Keijo is a story about a Sport with the same name where hot girls use their boobs and butts to knock others off the arean into hte pool below. It's intresting because it does two things, it slowly makes your care about who is gonna win rather than laugh at the premise or (and more imporantly) you focus less on the ecchi parts of what your watching but also it's the best shonen out there. Why? Because it's self-contained and focused and is creative with it's limited moveset and it funny and hot and does the (otherwise annoying) training montage well. RWBY's weapons are cool because they also have duality to them. Ruby, the mc of the show, weapon is a scythe that is also sniper-rifle. It's annoying that you Nigel doesn't see the good parts of Rwby and only complain about it. I remember that retarded moment when HBbomber guy that lefty soyboy that can not go two sentences without being oh-so-witty sarcastic about something he dislikes reviewed Rwby, which he was negative towards because part of it's many storylines is one that basically talks about how political violence (specifically, it seemed directed to the left) isn't the way forward. It is one of the few shows that sorta have lefties as it's villains so he didn't like that so in his stupidity he pick a scene were one character exposit information to another. Then he said, "Ugh, exposition equals bad and look how smart I am because I can repeat whatevery one elses think like a parrot." Sadly for him though, that scene made sense because the character who exposit had reasons to do so, you fucking moron Harris. Go back to UK, eating crumpets. No time for your dumbshit. I snap you like a sunship Okay, I stole that whole thing^^

Hey, a thought occurs.

What if a fatslob weeaboo shut-in gets isekai and there he has to go through training from hell like before he gets his harem of bitches and becomes the chosen one? Or maybe, he is the choosen one immidately but the goddess, or whatever the fuck superpower brought him there, says, "You are in indeed the chosen one but you need to shape up or you won't be able to save this world from the evils of darkness from 'the demon' (the demon is a stand in for satan here). Here's your new life," before she proceeds to thrust him into hardcore training.

This could make the mc more relatable because he doesn't just get his power and bitches, it's more earned (like mha style). However, people seek stories of this genre out because they wanna feel powerful so to delay that gratification might be a mistake and that doesn't tell them anything about the JQ and why troons can never be female. Maybe their could be a lower class of demon or goblins give out big loans to kingdoms in other to rule them from the shadows and forcing them to take in rapefuges from the windigo "nations".

I want my story to be perfect reversed propganda so I got not time to tackle one thing at the time. Gottta go fast. Gotta fast. Gotta go faster, faster f-f-faster. Soooonic!

The world hangs in the balance but I will raise up to the task. Change the world! Well, actually that is a pretty cool ambiton, tho. I gotta admit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-tj_IzTJ2Y&ab_channel=mohamednourddine

Ps. Anybody think that buckbreaking is the key to all of this. Like, if a nigger comes up to you and says, "Aye, yo. I fuck your wife," you just say, "Yeah..? But I fuck you in the ass, nigguha!"
Nationalist americans really ought to stop fantasizing about sending niggers to africa, instead we should just "make america do slavery again!". People need to be buck-pilled that's what I think.

^^
Anonymous
f444395
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No.366619
>>366616
>since you matter less to me than what I flushed down when I take dump.
Ofc, I'm only joking, Nige~<3
Anonymous
a1b55a0
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No.366625
>>366616
> If I only wrote to be liked I would just mass produce unchallenging low effort content
Wait, I’m confused. Is that not what you’ve been doing the entire time you’ve been here?

>>366613
> I've just stopped talking about them here because I've realized talking with no filter
Wait, I’m confused. Is what you’re doing currently your idea of talking with a filter?
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366637
366645 366646 366651
In one draft of my work, my protagonist's backstory had too much in common with my own.
So a friend of mine proofreading the story, who didn't know my tragic backstory, said I was being unrealistic with the amount of tragedy one man can face in his lifetime without becoming a serial killer or giving up on the world. He also called it unrealistic that he would ever want to save anyone or help Elf (white) society when it has done so much to hurt him and hold him back and spit on him and make his situation seem hopeless.
He compared it to a show he once saw about an extremely bullied and raped suicidal little girl in a Madoka Magica ripoff created by someone who saw money to be made ripping it off and cranking the edge up to childishly absurd degrees to stand out from all the other edgy ripoffs.
He called the heroine unrelatable.
The story failed to build an emotional connection between the heroine and audience by giving her any moments that give her something to protect. No moments where anyone in her life is good. No moments where anyone in her world seems worth protecting. No moments of normalcy to contrast the misery of her life because misery is normal for her life. She starts her story wanting to die. Her life was so miserable, death or an inevitable death after fighting monsters really was an improvement. She is basically guaranteed to die soon no matter how hard she figts, unless some deus ex machina comes out of nowhere to cure her terminal case of dying. There was no hope that things could ever get better, so he didn't feel like emotionally investing in the story just in case they might.
But I want to emotionally invest in my own story, and the story of my people.
Does that make me strange? Does that make me unrealistic or unrelatable? No matter how many mistakes I make along the way, and no matter how impossible it may seem, and no matter how the odds are stacked against me, I want to try.
Anonymous
a3c49e6
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No.366639
366646 366654
There he goes again. Maybe if he keeps spamming his assassination classroom sob story, you guys would stop being so mean.
Anonymous
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No.366645
366646 366651 366654
>>366637
Whatever your real life backstory is, I guarantee you couldn't top mine. Unlike you, I spent the last four years trying to make something of it or at least be a cautionary tale. Go to niggertown on a shoestring budget, work a fulltime job, and sleep in a Walmart parking lot for several months, and then get back to me. Otherwise, quit bothering these people for wanting to actually practice writing.
Anonymous
f444395
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No.366646
366647 366651
>>366645
> I guarantee you couldn't top mine.
I have an expression, that I have grown fond of, that goes like this, "You can compare pain but not diminish it."
If you lose and arm and I only lose a thumb, it doesn't mean that I cease to be in pain because you're in more pain.

Just my two cents. Hope your doing better now, Anon.
And you too, Nigel. >>366637

Tho, I think this ( >>366639 ) guy's suspicion is fair, what your's saying is probably true, however the timing for you to bring your tragic past makes me think he is right.

Anyway, I think that friend of yours got his ideas from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kmaba2TopE&ab_channel=ExplanationPoint but maybe I'm wrong. Haven't watch it myself acutally but for some reason I remembered seeing the thumbnail in the past.
Anonymous
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No.366647
366651 366652
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>>366646
Loathe as I might be to admit it, you're right. I'm just being an asshole at this point. I guess I just hate that so much time and energy goes toward whatever the hell he's trying to cook up and the boardwide reactions to it, and nothing that actually could be used for the OP's stated purpose, or any practical purpose.
Anonymous
2b808b4
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No.366651
366652 366653 366654
1688643241533072.jpg
>>366646
>>366645
>>366647
>I guess I just hate that so much time and energy goes toward whatever the hell he's trying to cook up and the boardwide reactions to it, and nothing that actually could be used for the OP's stated purpose, or any practical purpose.
I am the OP, and I basically feel this way about it too. It is immensely frustrating that literally every writing thread we try to have on this board devolves into this sooner or later. I have a bad habit of replying to Nigel when I know I shouldn't, but the problem is that ignoring him doesn't work either. I've been going through the old Fallout Equestria threads in an effort to compile my assorted rants + some observations a few other anons made into something I can use for a long-form essay, and in the process I've basically been rereading the threads. At the time I was employing a strategy of just ignoring Nigel for the most part, and only replying to the occasional small nuggets of wisdom in his posts that were worth replying to. Suffice it to say that strategy didn't work. It's honestly amazing; I was mostly focused on reviewing the fic, so I didn't realize at the time just how badly those threads were being derailed by Nigel and his endless bullshit. Seriously, even with the the length of FoE and the detail I went into with the review, if Nigel hadn't made any posts I probably wouldn't have needed four threads to finish that review. He just does this shit all the time, everywhere he goes, and there is just no way to make him stop. If you ignore him, he will just keep palm-mashing his keyboard and sharting his moronic opinions and "story ideas" into the abyss, completely oblivious to the fact that no one is reading any of it or engaging with him. However, if you tell him to shut the fuck up, he immediately goes into cope and seethe mode and starts sperging out about "haters" and conspiracies against him.

Eventually, if you berate him long enough and hard enough, he will go into what I call the "sad Nigel loop," which is basically the behavior we are witnessing in this post >>366637 here. He's had a sad life and a sad childhood and he's just trying to become a better writer and save all the white people with his shitty anime fanfiction but waaaaaah everyone keeps on being mean to him; woe is he. To be fair, from what I can tell he actually has had some legitimate difficulty in his life, but frankly so have a lot of anons, and all of them still manage to interact normally with the board. So it's hard to feel sorry for him at this point.

Every once in a blue moon, the shitstorm he inevitably generates around himself will do enough damage to his ego that he will actually fuck off for a month or two, as we saw with these >>7710 >>7644 threads, where he was proclaiming that he was finally "done" with us and would be leaving forever. I think we all know how that turned out. He always comes back, and it's always just the beginning of a brand new Nigel cycle when he does.

I honestly just don't know what to do about him anymore, but I figure if we're stuck with his endless barrage of "story ideas" either way, I might as well try and spin them into something at least halfway entertaining. It's more than he's ever going to do with them, after all. However, in the interest of not derailing this thread any further, I think I'm going to create a separate thread for future installments of "Nigel the Movie."

>>366646
>You can compare pain but not diminish it.
I actually rather like this, I might steal it for a line of dialogue somewhere.
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366652
366748
>>366647
D'aww, thank u~<3
>I guess I just hate that so much time and energy goes toward whatever the hell he's trying to cook up and the boardwide reactions to it
^^ Was about to type something like this,
>I basically feel this way about it too.
But now I don't have to anymore because GG *cough* KBB *cough* Lotus *cough* Faces *cough* Juan *cough* Ninjas *cough* Placeholder *cough* Occult Facde *cough* Boom Boom *cough* Moonshine *cough* Lone 15 *cough* Nigel *cough* Sven *cough* Norwayguy *cough* Anon (whoever I forgot) *cough* Nobunaga Oda *cough* OP got to it first.

>>366651
>I actually rather like this, I might steal it for a line of dialogue somewhere.
But muh royalties :'C
I look forward to seeing it appear in "Nigel The Movie: Episode 2" ^^
On that note, what did you think of this post >>366618, I thought I was pretty clever here. Plz shower me in praise, sneedpai.
Anonymous
8753d4f
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No.366653
366656 366658
>>366651
>To be fair, from what I can tell he actually has had some legitimate difficulty in his life, but frankly so have a lot of anons, and all of them still manage to interact normally with the board.
Well.. almost all.
I'm sorry. Whatever value it has coming from a bitter fuckup like me.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
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No.366654
366656 366660 366661 366669 366688
>>366639
Never seen Ass Class, is it any good?
>>366645
Not dignifying misery poker with a response. It's dishonest for anyone to assume I have the worst possible motive I could have for bringing up the shit I've been through.
>>366651
The links didn't work.

I find the nigel videos funny because just as the tail on the depiction of Silver is almost a decade out of date, the character of Silver is a nonsensical contradiction built out of a teenager's desire to write something philosophical that says power and power fantasies are less important than love clashing with a teenager's desire to include what audiences at the time seemed to call cool. Complaining about me for talking misses why I talk. When I ask a question it represents faith I have in somebody's ability to answer it helpfully.

The energy that goes into telling me to shut up and try harder to already know the answers to any question I could ask couldn't power a lightbulb. Doesn't matter how many things we could talk about go into my posts. Everyone would rather talk about their own writing anyone else's or bitch at me for being here or wait for someone to post pony content. Anyone can be dismissive and entirely negative and sneer at the guy who's trying for not already being a success story, and if there are any reasons to respect that, tell me why I shouldn't start to act the same way about anyone else's attempts to talk about political writing in the pony website's pony fanfiction writing thread.

Then again, most writing here is just for fun, and not written with any higher political goal in mind, so I couldn't if I wanted to. I mean no disrespect to those who write for fun. There's nothing wrong with writing for fun. But I've come to realize I am in uncharted waters. I must solve these questions alone because I will get no help here. There is no successful pro white fiction I can take inspiration from because in the eras that would have made it successful, it would have been unnecessary, and the idea that it might be necessary would have been unthinkable. Who could imagine a world where whites are reduced to backstabbing bickering slaves unable to agree upon any plan to do anything to harm the globalist antiwhite force's monopoly on propaganda and force and control over our futures? Even Tolkien, the man, the myth, the legend, the mythical mountain seen somewhere in all fantasy fiction whether close up or in the distance or intentionally excluded for the sake of an artistic choice, was touched by the only thing faker and gayer than cold war era communist propaganda: World War antiwhite propaganda about "those damn nazi nazguls" losing their way and choosing war and industrialization over being Christian and white and peaceful. It's easy to say it is morally just to reject violence and killing and cast power and power structures into the fire when they are not necessary to annihilate enemies hell bent on your annihilation. Just as it is easy for a man with food to waste food because he is not starving, and just as it is easy for a liberal to walk around unarmed in a majority white suburb. The christian fetish for guilt and pacifism is the weak link in the Armour of God that makes us succeptible to forgetting what is necessary for the future of the white race and its children. And I don't think I will ever be able to write something that convinces the white man he has nothing to lose but his chains. And yet I try because I want to do more with my life than learn how to write My Little Pony fanfiction the remaining bronies might love as much as they loved Fallout Equestria and Past Sins. But I also want to make video games and when I get positive and supportive responses and legitimately useful criticism I find myself understanding why so many people choose to do what they love instead of focusing all their time and energy on politicians and policies they hate. Last time I said I was taking a break, I took a break, and it lasted longer than I initially said it would because I was enjoying my break and didn't want to admit why. When I'm not in the trenches I feel guilty about that. But lately somebody close to me held me. Didn't hold me down. Didn't hold me tightly. She just asked me why I try so hard for ungrateful people, and why I feel like I need to save a society that I owe nothing, and why I won't take another break. She liked how happy I looked during my last break after I started to get over the guilt that came with ignoring the news and every weekly new reason to desire the end of the status quo. I hadn't even considered how it would feel for someone to care about me and my wellbeing. But I owe it to her to be good to myself. I want her to be happy. Without realizing it until now, politics ate up too much of me and my life. But she's giving me another chance and I will not waste it. She can help me learn how to be happy again.
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366656
366674
what the actual fuck am I writing seriously the final.pdf
File (hide): F7D8C7604DC45EC869C512ED97F691AE-8097436.mp4 (7.7 MB, Resolution:640x360 Length:00:01:32, F7D8C7604DC45EC869C512ED97F691AE-8097436.mp4) [play once] [loop]
F7D8C7604DC45EC869C512ED97F691AE-8097436.mp4
>>366654
>But I've come to realize I am in uncharted waters. I must solve these questions alone because I will get no help here. There is no successful pro white fiction I can take inspiration from because in the eras that would have made it successful, it would have been unnecessary
Well, actually ur wrong. GG, did it, or KBB ^^ did it. It's called Castle of Vapor. It is what you seek. It's a piece of reverse propaganda for our times.
Attached is the first finished version I found in the archives. GG, has a more updated version.
>>366653
<3 :anonfilly:
Anonymous
2b808b4
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No.366658
366660 366661
1692848933335668.png
>>366653
>I'm sorry. Whatever value it has coming from a bitter fuckup like me.
I've got good news for you, chief: if there is one profession where being a bitter, dysfunctional fuckup actually works in your favor, it's writing. Disclaimer: If you are also a narcissistic retard from England who physically can't shut up about subjects like Avatar: The Last Airbender and Pokemon, your results may vary

I don't know if this will cheer you up or do the opposite, but here's Charles Bukowski musing on life, death and the craft, while simultaneously dunking on other writers for being less accomplished at alcoholism than he was:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo9CQT3hXu8

And if that doesn't do the trick, here's a pony.
Anonymous
e638b10
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No.366660
366670
>>366654
>claims to be seeking advice and support for writing
>takes every opportunity to act as a low-end "idea guy" without ever presenting drafts or works past shilling and then deleting his gay horse manifesto
>still acting as though the answer to Saving The White Race is to write weebshit with a skinhead coat of paint for a fanfiction website full of trannies he openly obsesses over
>"She asked me why I try so hard for ungrateful people"
Look. this is gonna be the one serious statement from me that caps the discussion on my end. From here, you will never have to interact with me again if I recognize it's you (which frankly I'd have to be dyslexic not to recognize someone like you).
Sven isn't a success story. Most people who write aren't success stories, and probably never will be. That's not what people dislike about you. If you do actually have faith in someone's ability to answer your questions, then you have to sit down and take the lumps you asked for. If something you said didn't get an answer, chances are that people couldn't see the question past your massive walls of text. If there ever is a question to begin with, which in many of your posts, there just isn't. Or the question is so broad, subjective and silly that they think you're being rhetorical.

Just look at the pro-white propaganda that stuck. Murdoch Murdoch got popular because they put the effort in after a few episodes of stupid skits. When they gassed William Pierce and got backlash over it, they actually looked up Pierce's activism and came to respect him despite their disagreements, and represent him in a much more entertaining way that motivated others to look at the National Alliance's legacy with an open mind. When their sketches stopped being entertaining, they focused on the meme war saga and created something that has made grown /pol/acks cry, myself included. The Wanderer's Choice was heavily derivative of Berserk and loaded with references to the sort of weebshit you love so much, but it came with characterization and story that made you think. It offered new perspectives on the inevitable that comforted and made us think. It gave us more bread crumbs to research ourselves, by looking into Oswald Mosley and Spengler based on the things they said in the show. While it might use reductive memes as a medium, it elaborates on them and gives them a soul. Even the Choice itself mirrors something said by Mosley: that you must be a hawk among hawks and a dove when among doves. That a completely static set of rules with no contingencies is a castle built on sand. And all these this ended on an uplifting message to preserve history, art, memes and heritage.

If you want to make your mark, you have to be better than someone yelling into a megaphone about their beliefs while wearing a pony mask and shaming anyone who deviates from them. You have to ask yourself questions that you can answer given enough time and thought. And that isn't just "knowing the answer before you ask" -- it's looking inward for your inspiration, reason for what you believe, and understanding of why others aren't always of the same mind. Understanding that goes past just marking them as antiwhite, but actually explains what motivates them. Understanding of others, even your enemies, comes from entertaining beliefs you don't share in order to see them through it. And until you open your mind to the fact others don't always just want to see you dead because you're the hero and they're the villain, you will never be a good writer. Never.

I know I just gave you a wall of text and I'm not gonna spend any extra effort trimming it. Call it petty revenge. I don't care. I've finally got up the passion to write something I actually enjoy and I'm gonna do it.

>>366658
Believe it or not...it actually does help a little. It's weirdly comforting to know that a man who seems to be so confident and his ability as a writer, can be so clearly dysfunctional. Like perhaps poetry/writing is his calling, or perhaps it just helps bring him peace in his old age.
Maybe I could pick up that anonfilly green I stopped on. I think I'm gonna focus on the "bim-bim-bim" as Bukowski puts it. Also top kek at "This man's not even a pfuckin' professional drunk!"
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366661
366662 366670
>>366654
>>366618
>Gottta go fast. Gotta fast. Gotta go faster, faster f-f-faster. Soooonic!
Feel a bit bad about this, tho. There really isn't anything wrong with liking Sonic the hedgehog. That Sonic Boom animation is pretty rad tbh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQm9xkF80oI&ab_channel=Penpas
I think I just made the connection with it because I remember you emphasizing the need for speed in your learning of how to craft you story from earlier posts so that was what I wanted to parody.

>>366658
Idk, I feel like this guy is pretending. He has realized that he's old and so he's coping by acting as if it would be boring to continue to live.
I also, disagree with his views on writing. I actually used to think that each sentence should matter and be great but lately, I've come to think that it's not what matters the most.
Basically, I wanna take a step back. I'm not a writer, I'm a storyteller. I can retell a story with different words because, imo, what truly matters is the substance of the story. Your presentation can elevate your story but ultimately stories are less about grammar and clever presentation and more about ideas, imo. Though, perhaps I misunderstood what he meant.
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366662
366663 366670
>>366661
>He has realized that he's old and so he's coping by acting as if it would be boring to continue to live.
Is just my take though.
Anonymous
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No.366663
366666 366670
>>366662
That's a fair take, Sven, no problem. I got the same general impression, although I agree that quick and succinct prose that keeps the reader gripped is great.
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366666
366667
Oekaki.png
>>366663
^^
Anonymous
70b3874
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No.366667
Cross-Over.600.2473721.jpg
>>366666
Anonymous
2b808b4
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No.366669
635E40279FE78E0E514774797C1E78B3-182479.png
>>366654
jesus tit fucking christ I am seriously going to reply to you again, aren't I?
>I find the nigel videos funny because just as the tail on the depiction of Silver is almost a decade out of date, the character of Silver is a nonsensical contradiction built out of a teenager's desire to write something philosophical that says power and power fantasies are less important than love clashing with a teenager's desire to include what audiences at the time seemed to call cool. Complaining about me for talking misses why I talk. When I ask a question it represents faith I have in somebody's ability to answer it helpfully.
See, this right here is exactly why it's funny. Not for the reasons you said, but because you clearly have no fucking idea why any of this is funny.

>just as the tail on the depiction of Silver is almost a decade out of date
This right here, for instance, is hilarious. I have no idea where I got this Silver Star pic originally; it's just the version I've had saved to my computer since time out of mind. It probably came from one of the original Glimmergate threads. I built my current PC in 2019, so this pic is probably at least that old. The only other versions I have saved are edits that I think were done by the board: the one where he's redrawn as a jew, and the one where he's redrawn as some kind of Pokemon or something. I've never noticed any variations in his tail in the "official" versions, and would not have attributed any significance to it if I had. That you think anyone besides you would be autistic enough to notice or care about a detail like this is very funny.

>the character of Silver is a nonsensical contradiction built out of a teenager's desire to write something philosophical that says power and power fantasies are less important than love clashing with a teenager's desire to include what audiences at the time seemed to call cool
This is also funny. Again, not for the reasons you seem to think, but because of your complete misinterpretation of what's even going on. The character of Silver is not what the video is making fun of. The character and the story he's from have become sort of a running joke around here, but I honestly don't even remember anything from the story itself beyond the magic skateboards and the giant walls of text about how the magic skateboards work. That and the 36,000-word chapter about Silver complaining about Starlight Glimmer and punching her, we can't forget that. Beyond that, though, the whole thing is a blur. Whatever was actually wrong with that character and that story was dealt with five years ago when I went over all of it; nobody actually cares about any of that stuff anymore.

The video isn't making fun of some silly, cringey fanfiction you wrote as a teenager, or the silly, cringey character who starred in it. The video is making fun of YOU, and the silly, cringey person that you are and always have been. Silver Star is YOU, Nigel, the actual person, or at least the person you present yourself as in this community. This character is your avatar; he is the visual representation of you as a human being as far as this community is concerned. Whenever anyone here says "Nigel," or whenever you yourself show up in a thread and start talking about anything, this is the image that pops into everyone's head. Whether you agree with it or not, this is how /mlpol/ sees you.

There are two main reasons for this. The first is that, however much you like to think you've moved on from this story, the simple fact remains that Silver Star Apple and the Search for More Money, Love, The Meaning of Life, and Magical Cards is the only memorable thing you have ever written. Nobody remembers "Lion-O Goes Columbine on the Jews," nobody remembers that other thing you wrote. This is the one that people know. What's more, it's not even memorable for itself. As I said, nobody actually remembers what happened in the story. What everyone remembers is the Defcon-5 tard rage you flew into when nobody liked it, and how bantzing on you for it was doubly funny: once for the bantz, twice for the fact that you completely failed to understand how or why you were even getting bantzed on (sort of like right now, with this video, or literally any other time you've gotten bantzed on).

What's also funny about that particular incident is that you actually have a lot in common with...Starlight Glimmer. Starlight was so desperate for love and attention that she threw all of her energy into a single act of pure self-indulgent narcissism. Her project was thwarted and she was laughed out of Equestria, but rather than repent and seek forgiveness, she doubled down and made things even worse for herself. In short, the stupidest thing she'd ever done became her entire legacy. Unfortunately, though, the similarities end here, as Starlight Glimmer eventually went on to redeem herself.

Anyway, the second reason Silver is your avatar is, well...just look at him. Look at that smug, silly, cluelessly confident smile on this retard's face. This guy is just...you in a nutshell. If I took one of your neverending tard-rants about the writing in Mass Effect or whatever the fuck and fed it to one of those AI-drawing programs, and told it to draw the face of the person speaking, it would probably produce an expression close to this. I mean, can't you just see this guy? Strutting around decaying London, munching his fish and chips, grinning that ridiculous, smarmy, shit-eating clueless grin, while he mumbles to himself about God only knows what because nobody is fucking listening?

Well...you can't see it. But all of us can. And that, Nigel, is why this video is funny.

>>366654
>The links didn't work.
My apologies, I always fuck up the cross-board links. I was referring to these threads:
>>>/qa/7710 →
>>>/qa/7644 →
But you already knew that, didn't you?
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.366670
366672 366688
>>366660
>>366661
>>366662
>>366663
Whether or not you take his actual advice is up to you, I'm not saying he's right or wrong. For my part, I tend to agree about the quick and succinct prose. It's a better approach in fanfiction anyway, since there's just so much of it out there and whatever you write is competing with everything written by everyone else. Keeping your prose short and effective is a courtesy to the reader, at the very least.

The main thing with this video was to point out that being bitchy, dysfunctional and opinionated is something that just about all writers all have in common. I don't remember exactly how or when I came across this video, but I do remember I was half-drunk sitting at my computer and typing up a comment for one of my review threads. So basically, there's me, some autist who writes about ponies on the internet, sitting there drinking and talking shit about some other pony writer on the internet because I don't like how he did something. Meanwhile here's Bukowski, who was this world-famous Beat Generation icon, sitting in this interview doing essentially the same damn thing, but within his own sphere. I thought it was funny.

Everybody who works at writing long enough will eventually develop their own particular method, usually through some combination of reading other authors and borrowing their techniques, and experimenting on their own and figuring out what works for them personally. Then, once you've got your method, you'll come up with a giant laundry list of reasons why your way of doing things is better than everyone else's way of doing things, and why every writer you don't like can suck a dick.

This >>366660 is actually some really great advice, and I like the analysis of Murdoch Murdoch. Since Nigel probably won't read it or absorb it, I'll go ahead and compliment you on it. This is a good attitude to take.

I think above all it helps to remember that the world isn't waiting for your masterpiece one way or the other, so you might as well just shit or get off the pot. Just take whatever ideas and stories you've got in you and present it the best way you know how. If it sucks then it sucks; it's not that big a deal because most people's writing sucks. You can either find a way to fix it or throw it away and start again. If you somehow do end up creating something great, odds are that someone will come across it and realize it's great sooner or later, so there's really no reason to be a tryhard about it.
Anonymous
e638b10
?
No.366672
366674
>>366670
>the world isn't waiting for your masterpiece one way or the other, so you might as well just shit or get off the pot. Just take whatever ideas and stories you've got in you and present it the best way you know how.
Thanks anon. It does help to keep it in mind.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.366674
>>366656
Incidentally, do you still have that audiobook version you did of that? I don't think I actually finished listening to it.

>>366672
np fren, best of luck to you.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.366688
>>366654
Actually, I guess as long as I'm already replying I might as well dispense with the rest of this.

>Doesn't matter how many things we could talk about go into my posts. Everyone would rather talk about their own writing anyone else's or bitch at me for being here or wait for someone to post pony content.
REEEE WHY DO PEOPLE IN THE WRITING THREAD WANT TO TALK ABOUT WRITING INSTEAD OF THE AUTISTIC NONSENSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT? WHY DO PEOPLE ON THE PONY BOARD ALWAYS WANT TO WRITE ABOUT PONIES INSTEAD OF THE AUTISTIC NONSENSE I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT?**and by "write about" I actually mean generate 400+ story ideas per day, none of which I will ever even attempt to transform into an actual story

>Then again, most writing here is just for fun, and not written with any higher political goal in mind, so I couldn't if I wanted to.
> I mean no disrespect to those who write for fun. There's nothing wrong with writing for fun. But I've come to realize I am in uncharted waters.
> And I don't think I will ever be able to write something that convinces the white man he has nothing to lose but his chains. And yet I try because I want to do more with my life than learn how to write My Little Pony fanfiction the remaining bronies might love as much as they loved Fallout Equestria and Past Sins.
Lol. The Nigel Cycle is moving quicker than I'd anticipated; we're already back at the stage where you scoff at us and call us losers, but for some reason you keep hanging around asking for our advice.

>Last time I said I was taking a break, I took a break, and it lasted longer than I initially said it would because I was enjoying my break and didn't want to admit why. When I'm not in the trenches I feel guilty about that. But lately somebody close to me held me. Didn't hold me down. Didn't hold me tightly. She just asked me why I try so hard for ungrateful people, and why I feel like I need to save a society that I owe nothing, and why I won't take another break. She liked how happy I looked during my last break after I started to get over the guilt that came with ignoring the news and every weekly new reason to desire the end of the status quo. I hadn't even considered how it would feel for someone to care about me and my wellbeing. But I owe it to her to be good to myself. I want her to be happy. Without realizing it until now, politics ate up too much of me and my life. But she's giving me another chance and I will not waste it. She can help me learn how to be happy again.
This is almost touching, but...honestly, what is even your thought process here? I mean, if I'm understanding you correctly, what you're saying is that you're happier when you're out somewhere enjoying life, as opposed to...being here. Annoying the living shit out of us. So...I mean, do you see what I'm getting at? You're a lot happier when you're off doing whatever with your...eh...girlfriend, and we're all a lot happier when you're not here being an annoying sperg. It sounds like the solution to your problem is the same as the solution to our problem, so...what are we even arguing about? Just stop posting your palm-mashed nonsense to this board and literally everyone wins; I honestly don't see what the issue even is.

I mean, this is really the part of your whole thing that I don't get. On the one hand, you seem to be convinced that if you don't write this bizarre Nazi-anime-space-adventure-thing you have planned, it means the complete annihilation of the white race. On the other hand, you refuse to put any actual work into your writing, so unsurprisingly you make zero progress on your book. You show up here with one crazy story premise after another that's basically just 20 different anime tropes jumbled together, and ask if it's a good idea. Then, regardless of what anyone says, you come back a few hours later with a different premise that's basically just the same 20 anime tropes arranged in a slightly different order. Then, you suddenly go off on an 80 page rant about some episode of Avatar the Last Airbender you saw one time 20 years ago and ask if it was good writing or bad writing. Like...what the fuck is going through your mind?

Look dude, it's like I said here >>366670 : the world isn't waiting on your masterpiece. If you want to write something, then just write something already for crying out loud. If you don't, then don't. Shit or get off the pot. You keep talking about this writing project of yours like it's some kind of matter of life and death, which is ridiculous enough to begin with, but then on top of that you never actually write anything. You keep talking like nobody is willing to give you advice or help you, but it's more accurate to say that nobody is willing to give you advice or help you anymore. I've been giving you reams of very high-quality advice for literal years, and I've read and critiqued every pile-of-shit draft you've ever put in front of me. What's come out of any of it? Nothing; absolutely nothing. It's a complete waste of time giving you advice because you never listen to any of it and you never produce anything.

I honestly don't know what else to tell you. If you don't want to write anything and you don't enjoy writing, then why even bother? Just go watch Naruto with your girlfriend or whatever; fuck. The world isn't going to end.
So you wanna be a writer - Charles Bukowski
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.366689
366866
1556308604210.png
So you wanna be a writer - Charles Bukowski

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.
and there never was.
Anonymous
a5fd1eb
?
No.366744
366746 366749
Without reading replies, thought I should add...

To the car guy...

I wouldn't wish what I've been through upon anyone. I've been homeless before, and I've worked at a job before, but being raped repeatedly by my own parents as a child was definitely worse. It gets to you, being exploited and betrayed like that by people you're supposed to be able to trust and rely on. Being surrounded by fundamentally evil people who don't care or help it happen because calling the authorities would take effort and risk creating hassle for yourself and the authorities you are forced to be dependent on are as jewed as they get anyway. It's possible to ascribe imagined bad motivations to anyone. You could hold a lover who says "I love you" and choose to believe she's only saying this to control you. You can choose to believe I am a master schemer with nefarious motivations for saying anything about my past but do you think I'm socially aware enough for that? I genuinely just thought that anecdote was funny. Like a guy who thinks all car crashes are fatal not realizing he was right next to someone who survived one. But I have hope for you. I am sure that if you work hard enough at your job for a jewish megacorp you will be promoted, meet a nice woman, afford a house together, reproduce, and finally have a reason to be happy. Never give up hope.

To everyone else...

I don't know why I come here to this thread and ask writing questions like I expect an authority on writing to say something interesting and helpful in response and become part of an interesting open writing discussion. First and foremost, this site is a clique for roleplayers and pony porn lovers and boomer facebook meme sharers, before it is anything else. I could ask general story structure questions on any writing site, but explicitly asking how I help the white race by writing about sex and violence and dragons and other shit people like is the one thing this thread could theoretically have over other places for discussing writing if only that was permitted.
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.366746
>>366744
>I could ask general story structure questions on any writing site
That is what this WRITING thread is about. Only difference between here and some other writing site is you can post your examples.
Anonymous
70b3874
?
No.366748
1678632649776652.png
>>366652
>I think Nigel's posting is annoying <-Kinda what I said
I kinda wanna retract this. I kinda don't care anymore. I mean, I don't really get why he gotta post his none-related post in the wrong threads nor I'm a huge fan of the way he presents his posts but (as I have said before) I usually find stuff to agree with in his posts.

I guess I just gotten used (or numb ^^) to it. I think I just gotten tired of drama too. Now when I reflect on it, most of my latest post to Nigel have all been troll posts, where I'm just bantzin on him for things I would otherwise complain about^^.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't really care about Nigel's (special) posts anymore but I'm not objecting to others getting annoyed by it either. Or something liek that is how I feel right now. IDK.

I guess, who even cares what I feel. I just felt a need to update my stands or wahterver
Anonymous
a7bab18
?
No.366749
>>366744
>I don't know why I come here to this thread and ask writing questions like I expect an authority on writing to say something interesting and helpful in response and become part of an interesting open writing discussion. First and foremost, this site is a clique for roleplayers and pony porn lovers and boomer facebook meme sharers, before it is anything else.
You have a peculiar habit of denigrating the very people you depend on for endless advice and attention.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.366760
366763 366764 367213
6761633.gif
If anyone here is interested, the /mlp/ writefag thread is having a writing contest:

>Maybe we should have our own in-thread writing competition. We could set a due date. When that date rolls around one of us will start the thread again and all the participants will either paste in-thread, or give a link to their story. I suggest due date as one month from now and that we focus on short stories

Premise of the contest is as described, you have just over a month to write a story, and when the contest thread is posted you either paste it in or post a link. As of now it looks like the due date is October 13th, length limit on stories is 10,000 words or less. Theme is Nightmare Night, since Halloween is coming.

Here is the thread:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40277733
Anonymous
8c4c9aa
?
No.366763
367213
>>366760
That sucks. I literally had the same idea and thought it be a clever way to fish for newfags on mlp. Oh, well.
Anonymous
8c4c9aa
?
No.366764
>>366760
But it sounds like it could be fun. I might show up.^^
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.366866
william-burroughs.roosevelt-after-inauguration.fuck-you-press.pdf
>>366689
This is a good post and deserves a (You), even if I can't think of any additional advice or snappy comments.

Also, I think I've posted this in one or more of these threads before, but this is a really good lecture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dymsKE_N3A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d3fDtxCiAQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNKR6jNumVQ

Also also, attached PDF is by the same author as the lecture series. It was published in a subversive "zine" from the 1950s and I'll preface it with a fairly heavy degeneracy warning, but it's worth a read. Aside from the names, he seems to have predicted the Biden administration with an eerie degree of accuracy.
Anonymous
a44aa71
?
No.366976
Mark  The Choosen of Chatoyance.pdf
>>366352
So I wrote the a first chapter for a story with this premise on a whim. It was a while a ago and I didn't finish it sadly. I don't see myself finishing it right now so the setup in this chapter won't get their payoffs but I created a bunch of lore for it. The goddess is named Chattoyance but the it's still a serious story, I just didn't have a name for a goddess at the time and thought it kinda fit so I just did it.
Anonymous
296ccb6
?
No.366993
Reborn as a Healslut in another World.txt
6744667__safe_artist-colon-redxbacon_imported+from+derpibooru_princess+cadance_princess+celestia_princess+luna_queen+chrysalis_shining+armor_twilight+sparkle_al.png
This one was also inspired by Nigel's posts on his isekai story. I wrote this a real while ago but was unsure if I wanted to post it. Tried a more shitpost-y style with this one then my normal storytelling. I kinda planned out chapter two but never wrote it down.
Anonymous
296ccb6
?
No.366994
367013
6786441__safe_artist-colon-muffinz_imported+from+derpibooru_derpy+hooves_hat_headphones_minecraft_simple+background_solo_white+background_wing+hands_wing+hold_w.png
2728413__safe_princess+flurry+heart_pony_simple+background_alicorn_transparent+background_wings_spread+wings_holiday_looking+at+each+other_species+sw.png
6233045__safe_artist-colon-bluewolfavenger_imported+from+derpibooru_part+of+a+set_twilight+sparkle_pony_unicorn_bag_bandage_blizzard_body+horror_clothes_cold_cr.jpg
2675868__safe_twilight+sparkle_solo_female_pony_mare_unicorn_horn_magic_crossover_high+res_signature_angry_glowing+horn_unicorn+twilight_eyelashes_wa.jpg
Shoggoth mate.png
>>366979 →
>>>/mlpol/366979 →
I thought I continue this conversation here since I have already derailed ur thread enough ^^.

Are u gonna write a new spooky story for that comp or are you gonna use that Muffins of Madness story you started in one of my pony prompt threads?
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367013
1694847253164277.jpg
>>366994
Good idea lol, probably setting a bad precedent if I keep derailing my own thread with stuff I explicitly asked people not to derail my thread with.

For the 4chan competition I've actually got a new one I've been working on, I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out so far. When it's done I'll post it here before I post it to /mlp/ assuming I finish by the deadline

Muffins of Madness is actually going to be my November project, I think I can spin a full novel out of that one. I wasn't wild about what I wrote for it so I've revised the idea somewhat. The cosmic horror premise is still the same, but I decided to drop the HiE angle entirely and just make the detective character a pony OC.
Anonymous
f92a4be
?
No.367203
367204 367206 367235 367248 367718
File (hide): 5C572615F9056C7B00DE3520D928E8F2-22461.zip (21.9 KB, Listing of : my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic.epub Size Date Time Name -------- -------- ------ --------- 20 27-09-23 05:11 mimetype 240 27-09-23 05:11 META-INF/container.xml 380 27-09-23 05:11 styles.css 925 27-09-23 05:11 title.html 496 27-09-23 05:11 toc.html 79556 27-09-23 05:11 chapter-1.html 1544 27-09-23 05:11 book.opf 1186 27-09-23 05:11 book.ncx , my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic.epub)
my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic.epub
I wrote a parody of the sort of cliche MLP fanfics that are easy to write and review and parody. Probably a bit daft for me to focus on this stuff when it's so past its sell-by date and era of cultural relevance, but fuck it. What I wrote is easy, stupid, soulless, unchallenging, and it's not going to help my writing skills, but if anyone here wants to care about the old dead horses beaten in this fic go ahead and review it. It's a complete one-shot that can be judged on its own merits as a complete work. And it doesn't require prior knowledge of an external piece of media like Fallout or Warhammer 40K.

By the way I'm extending my break from politics and quitting the team. I'm sick of nazi sites calling me a gay degenerate libtard cuck for not being racist enough. And not being magic enough to single-handedly save my country. I hadn't realized everyone decided it was my responsibility to be the second coming of Christ and save everybody, and I'm gay if I'm not inspiring enough to inspire hope in them. Why do so many sites devolve into cliques for complainers who forgot their ideology of choice was supposed to have a purpose and core founding principles that come before petty emotions and office politics? How can anyone call the British "not really white" and say "Hitler would have hated you, you damn disgusting bisexual faggot" when the average person posting that is typically a degenerate masturbation addict without loved ones or offspring? Hitler would have hated you too. Or maybe he would have loved you anyway, and pitied you for not living up to your potential, pitied you for throwing it away on frivolous pursuits instead of cultivating inner strength and meaningful bonds and forming a plan for the future and sticking to it.

It is easy to avoid making mistakes when you choose to sit around and exclusively criticize others for making mistakes on their road to success. There is nothing the critics hate more than being reminded of this. No artist is born a master, but what is the value of "criticism" that seeks not to critique the work but to shallowly mock it? A piece of trash on the side of the road is still more meaningful than the criticism designating it so. In this era of fetishized mediocrity and corporate monopolies with soulless valueless entertainment, this era of corpo content getting awards while real art by passionate people with something to say is ignored or sneered at, it makes sense that the best critic channels on Youtube would thrive mocking the big corpo bullshit. AVGN and Nostalgia Critic spawned a wave of imitators by being successful. I'm subscribed to many Youtube channels that love nothing more than taking dogshit television and MCU films and big corpo games and tearing them a new asshole for wasting millions of dollars sucking gay asshole. But I don't subscribe to any channels that treat indie projects with that kind of hostility. When billion dollar corpos like Disney get applauded for posting cringe, that's annoying. But some game reviewers act like every game that didn't blow their mind instead blew their dog after shooting it. They want to play at being critics without having any of the values that made the great ones great. It's fun to hate, I get that, but it's not a respectable kind of hatred.

Starship Troopers, the movie made by a Jew, tries to make "Fascism" look bad. But it's too dishonest to intellectually engage with its ideas. It never shows a smart disabled man unfit for military service and unable to vote, and then depicts a bad politician coming to power because people like that smart disabled non-soldier and his friends in the same boat were unable to vote. No, it just does all it can to make the whole concept look silly. It's a strawman argument in film form. Thinking Starship Troopers is an accurate depiction of Fascism is like thinking 300 is an accurate depiction of the Spartans and Persians. But that film wasn't made with an ideological or racial agenda, it was made with this raw unapologetic masculine energy that made you scream "Fuck yeah!" or whimper "lmao gay cringe". I saw it with my girl and damn, what a movie! THIS IS CINEMA! Holy fucking shit! Focusing on what you love really is better than focusing on what you hate. That film never could have been made today, and if they tried, they'd Netflix the fuck out of it unless the original creator was around to force Netflix to reshoot shit they got wrong until the end result was fine. As a kid I didn't dream of being a propagandist. I dreamed of making awesome media.

The road to success is not an easy one. If it was, the haters would walk it themselves instead of hating. Sometimes that road is long and hard and winding, but I'm not giving up on my dreams. No matter how many bitter people point and laugh, I won't respect them enough to care about their feelings toward me. It's a lose-lose scenario, dealing with people like that, because they choose to believe they're the superior and you're the inferior, they abuse you if they can, and if you ignore them they keep on hating you no matter what, and if you give them attention by saying anything to the contrary, they take it as validation, they take it as confirmation that only someone inferior would care. They never look in the mirror and ask themselves how they could improve and be happy. They never try to uplift themselves or their local community. They'd never take food to a church to feed the freezing elderly and starving homeless. They sit on their hard drives full of foalcon rape and childish power fantasies featuring anon and they sneer at me for liking anime and trap femboy futa facefucking porn and incest and piss and shit and shitting dick nipples and breast expansion and inflation and oneesan/milf shota and cuckolding and praise kink content. Lmao just kidding I don't like any of that shit, except the anime. And praise(good for the soul!). And the breast expansion because it means big booba.

And on that bombshell, goodnight!
Anonymous
dd1f077
?
No.367204
6785265__suggestive_artist-colon-parumpi_imported+from+twibooru_spike_twilight+sparkle_dragon_pony_unicorn_art+pack-colon-forbidden+knowledge_blushing_bottom+he.png
6754550__safe_artist-colon-anonymous_imported+from+twibooru_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-filly+anon_pony_-fwslash-mlp-fwslash-_4chan_bow_drawthread_female_filly_ha.png
>>367203
Well, thanks for the story, bro. ^^

Sad that you're leaving again. Hope find success with ur aspirations. I'll continue to jerk it to hoers so don't worry, I'll keep the spirit of mlpol alive, single-handedly >Mfw no no-hoofs gf to give me a hoofjob^^
Anonymous
01e35ca
?
No.367206
dc944a7a53f4addf4dc8908399233580.gif
>>367203
That's great Nigel, thanks for letting us know. We'll see you in a month or two when you decide to pull the exact same drama again.
Anonymous
dd1f077
?
No.367213
367235
6729332__safe_artist-colon-amy30535_imported+from+derpibooru_background_building_cloud_cloudsdale_cloudy_night_no+pony_rainbow_rainbow+waterfall_scenery.jpg
6794809__safe_artist-colon-pesty_skillengton_imported+from+derpibooru_fluttershy_pegasus_pony_butt_cute_daaaaaaaaaaaw_dock_ear+fluff_eyes+closed_female_floppy+e.png
6731648__safe_imported+from+derpibooru_-dot-svg+available_cloud_cloudsdale_g4_high+res_liquid+rainbow_official_rainbow_simple+background_sky_stock+vector_svg_tr.png
6791518__safe_artist-colon-pesty_skillengton_imported+from+derpibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-blazey+sketch_pegasus_pony_bow_clothes_cute_female_heart_hug_pillow_pi.png
2P Clouldsdale.pdf
Attached is a draft of thread idea I had for the site, I canceled it when I saw this post tho:
>>366760
as I stated here:
>>366763
However, I did write a bunch of fanlore one Cloudsdale and Pegasi in it so I thought I might as well share it here. ^^
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367235
>>367203
>I don't care, you don't care, please read my words though
Great note to go out on, pretty much sums up your entire five years worth of effort.

>>367213
This looks like it's got some potential. Is this meant to be another organized project within a time frame, or is this just an informal prompt? I might be interested in doing some stuff within these parameters, but as I mentioned before I'm a bit swamped for the next couple of months.

>Pegasi have the supernatural ability to fall asleep and hibernate when they wish to do so. This is called ”drifting” (we'll get back to when and how they use this).
>Their bodies go into a low energy usage mode and excrement and such is simply emptied while asleep (this is why it's advised to do that before drifting)
I'm curious if Equestria has any formal laws about this. Seems like earth ponies and unicorns getting periodically deuced on by drifting pegasi might create some tension between the castes.

>StormRazor
I'm going to suggest that this name be formally changed to "Storm Razor," without the CamelCase spelling.
sage
sage
fb2962b
?
No.367248
367676
97143__safe_gusty_female_pony_unicorn_angry_g1_my+little+pony+'n+friends_upset.jpg
>>367203
Good riddance you furfag futa loving britmutt. Stay in the dumpster where you belong. Permanently. Take that faux-centrism cuckboi shit with you, too.
Anonymous
a72153a
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No.367620
367625
fire-breathing-dragon.jpg
fire-dragon.jpg
peakpx.jpg
peakpx(1).jpg
Dragons_shooting_fire 2.png
>There was once monkies that live in a forest.
>Near this forest was a cave where a dragon slept.
>He was distrubed in his slumper by the shouting of fighting monkies.
>He ignored them and drifted back to sleep.
>He was awoken again by monkies wrestling over his treasure trove.
>He turned his back on them and went back to sleep.
>Something was prodding him.
>He opened his eyes and found a group of monkies with sharp sticks.
>He ingored them.
>Then he felt pain in his eye.
>One of the monkies had stuck his stick into his eye.
>The forest was reduced to nothing but ash.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367625
367651 368150
_31f3ac97-325a-45d8-a6c5-5bbea31d412d.jpg
_92e72add-fdf5-4c8c-9c0f-3ed347cba042.jpg
_5617a557-c0fa-43d7-ac21-30fb86204b28.jpg
_9061d8ea-df8d-4f22-896e-e3b1da62b152.jpg
>>367620
Tried to get AI to illustrate this, was somewhat successful:
>medieval tapestry style: dragon with a wounded eye, breathing fire on a forest, fighting an army of monkeys
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.367651
>>367625
Nice. Im happy u read it. <3
Anonymous
dfc5ca0
?
No.367676
367703 367737
>>367248
Why are you saging the write thread?
You're aware that sage is to avoid bumping a thread, and not to downvote a user, right?
Anonymous
f92a4be
?
No.367703
367718 367737
>>367676
Tourists, am I right?
By the way did anyone review the shit pony fic?
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367718
367737 367741 367744
NIGEL LEAVING.png
>>367703
Why would anyone review it, or even bother to read it? You said yourself you didn't put any effort into it and don't care about it. Why would you expect us to read it? Why would you expect anyone to read it? Are you really such an arrogant, egotistical, self-absorbed ass that you expect people to invest time and effort into workshopping a story that not even you, the person who wrote it, actually cares about?

Since it's clear that you still haven't figured it out yet, this kind of behavior is a fine example of why nobody on this site likes you or takes you seriously. It's not just that you're a shitty writer, you're also a shitty person. I mean, read your own post for fuck's sake: >>367203

You have this attitude like everything in the world is somehow beneath you and nothing bothers you, and yet you're one of the neediest attention-whores I've ever come across in all my time spent on the internet. You think the pony fandom is dead, but here you still are, writing fanfiction and begging us to read it. You think this site is just an empty circlejerk full of haters, but here you still are, begging for our attention yet again.

You constantly talk up your big projects and your grand ideas, and yet you produce nothing but low-effort slop. You beg for everyone to give you their opinion, and when they give it to you, you either get pissy and defensive, or you just laugh it off and say "yeah, well, I wasn't really trying." While it is indeed clear that you weren't really trying, it does raise the question: if you're not going to try, then why bother? If you don't care about what you write, and you don't care about what we think, then why even ask us to read any of it? Why even write it in the first place?

I can tell you exactly why. You don't write because you have something to say or because you give a shit about writing, and you don't ask us for criticism because you give a shit what we think or because you want to improve. Everything you do, whether it's sharting out crappy low-effort fanfiction, posting long whiny monologues about how shitty your childhood was, stalking some troon on fimfiction, or palm-mashing angry diatribes about all the "haters" that are out to get you, it's all motivated by one thing and one thing only: You. Need. Attention. You crave attention the way your shitty OC craves cock, be it Silver "pound my ponut" Star, or Faggot "Silver Star Redrawn as a Sonic the Hedgehog Character" Fox, or Lion-O the Angsty Jewslayer, or Thomas the Racist Elf-Prince, or whatever dumb variant of the same shitty character you happen to be working with at any given moment.

And look, here you are again, back on this site you don't care about, submitting yet another piece of shoddy low-effort fanfiction about a franchise you think has lost all cultural relevance. Mere days after sharting out your latest word-salad about how you don't care about this place and how you're leaving it "for good," here you are, begging for our attention yet again.

Why not just get a life and live it? Or, since that's probably a bridge too far for you at this point, why not just neck yourself and save us all the trouble of having to interact with you further? I mean, go back and read through this thread >>>/mlpol/166259 → or this thread >>>/mlpol/165646 → sometime. Isn't it amazing how, after five long years, you haven't grown, changed or matured at all? Isn't it amazing how, after all this time and all the words we've exchanged, you're still the same whiny, arrogant, needy, conceited, entitled, obnoxious little shit that you were five years ago? How you're still here, condescending to us while simultaneously begging us to read whatever low-effort bucket of verbal diarrhea you've most recently sharted out?

Seriously, Nigel. How many times does this community need to tell you to fuck off before you actually get the message?

Incidentally, Robert Heinlein, author of Starship Troopers, was a better writer than you could ever hope to be, even if you actually gave enough of a shit to put in real effort.
sage
sage
fb2962b
?
No.367737
368093
>>367676
You have NOT been around long enough to realize that saging on this board does one thing, and ONE thing only: it pisses Niggel off since he doesn't get the dopamine rush of someone opposing his pseudo-centrist britcuck soygoi views.

>>367703
Congrats, cucktard, for about the thousandth time. You just broke the (((rules))) of your own "M-M-MMUH (((LEVIN))) G-GAIZ, DON'T FLAME ME WHEN M R GON BACK TO PISSRAHELL" post.

GO. KILL. YOUR. SELF. SERIOUSLY, HANG YOUR WORTHLESS INBRED NECK ON THE NEAREST STREET LIGHT THAT WON'T BREAK UNDER THE 400 POUNDS OF LANDWHALE THAT YOU ARE. Not even the ACTUAL race-traitor kike-loving britcuckmutts want you. How fucking hilarious is that!

>>367718
That number will never be 0. It will NEVER be less than 1. Also fuck you no homo Heinlein was a great writer but his execution of word phrasing and literary meanings sucked donkey phalli.
Anonymous
f92a4be
?
No.367741
367742 367744 367908 367930 367934 367936 367938 367939 367940 367941 367943 368453
literally me.jpg
>>367718
I know it upsets you when I tell you I don't respect you and skim your posts and ignore anything I don't value, but I saw some half-finished shit in my documents and thought "Hey, might as well finish it, get it out there, give this starving thread on a dying site some content not from the same few overworked people". I don't understand why people who don't respect me as a person expect me to respect them as an authority, and I don't understand why somebody said I rely on this site for advice or attention when I don't care what people think of me and the "best" advice I ever got was "read a lot on your own and figure it out for yourself". I've figured out a lot for myself. But it's always hard for the wannabe critic to understand when he isn't valued and why, because to him the critic is the master of the artist and any artist who disagrees with this reductive thought-terminating inherently anti-art worldview is a bad artist "violating the natural order of things out of pettiness and inadequacy and spite", because even though the wannabe critic has no insight that makes him a better critic than any other bog-standard complainer or anything about him that makes him any kind of useful asset to any artist the critic expects to be treated like Gordon fucking Ramsay even if all he has to say is the kind of "fuck you kill yourself lmao niggerfaggot" shit children said to each other over Sonic fanfiction almost twenty years ago. Hell, SonAmy and SonAlly tards were saying this to each other thirty years ago. I've been around on the internet too long for your sort of talk to shock me, sonny. I stopped respecting you people when I realized you're inauthentic. You might hate the Jews but you don't love Whites enough. Or freedom or western civilization. Friendship is a buzzword thrown around now and then for the sake of shaming people who criticize you for your inaction and inauthenticity but when people here need help they don't get it here. Misery loves company and this is a circlejerk for miserable people who have learned helplessness. Self-improvement talk, threads about farming and making things, it all had to be pushed to another subforum to ignore because it didn't fit on the main board. It wouldn't surprise me if The Critical Drinker was a fan of the AVGN at some point, but instead of spiralling into self-parody with retarded skits in an attempt to one-up the original, his insights into the obvious flaws of leftist dominated media let him condense elegant takedowns of overhyped dogshit media in efficient digestible smart witty and brief videos anybody can watch, understand, share, and get behind. You come for him mocking shit films and stay for his criticisms of the underlying leftism permeating modern jewish cinema and its hatred of the strong white male hero. Characterization of the critic as a drunken mess of a clown makes him likable and relatable and down-to-earth without getting in the way of the substance of the review like an extended skit where he saves cinema from a haunted DVD by shooting it with a gun and throwing a bottle at it, he never comes off as some smug git who thinks he knows everything, even though he knows a lot more about writing than most industry professionals. He's able to help people start to understand and detest woke bullshit and identify general flaws in their own writing without needing to come off as overly political or agenda-driven because it truly is normal and good to oppose woke bullshit and bad ideology-driven writing in general. He's a critic I respect, and he's earned those subscribers.

The greatest works of western literature could have been discussed on this site, we could have read a chapter together and discussed it every week or every three days, but finding dogshit pony fanfiction from almost a decade ago and collectively calling it shit or relying on somebody else to waste his time stating the obvious for us is just so much easier even if it's not an overhyped fandom darling but instead some practically unheard of piece of shit nobody cares about, like an Angry Video Game Nerd knockoff who tries to search for even worse-rated games to flame even though nobody cares that the shovelware fimfiction equivalent of Imagine Babies for the Wii is like a "shit sundae fermented inside a sun-scorched nigger corpse" and Eragon reads like it was written by a teenager because it was, even though something could have been learned from analyzing interesting experiments in the gaming landscape or literary world. This site has all the downsides of /mlp/ (cliquey fandom drama and space-wasting content accumulation threads where skill improvement and new content is rare and circlejerkers waste each other's time waiting for new content) and /pol/ (serious unbiased political discussion is drowned out by facebook memes and low quality argumentation for shit like flat fucking eartherism) and no redeeming qualities. I was a fool to ever waste so much time here posting dumb bullshit when I should have been working on actually improving my skills as a creator. Mods, delete all my gay posts if y'all hate them so much (you won't, those in the in-group need an out-group to attack and the clique dominating this site wishes I'd stay here forever and be a permanent part of this site to give their lives meaning).
Choccy Gewehr
f8d1b38
?
No.367742
Screenshot_2023-10-07 Suspect That You Are Narcissistic DO THIS .png
>>367741
>Projecting, gaslighting, self indulgent walls of text.
https://youtu.be/YzxHV28Jyeo
You really want to make your life let alone the world better? Shut the fuck up for once, watch this video, internalise every word Prof. Sam Vaknin says to you. Don't listen while playing vidya gaems or whatev. Sit, watch, take notes

Else wise kindly procure a length of tree climbing rope, learn to tie it in a slip knot and pull a Robin William's.
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.367744
368453
OIG (37).jfif
Imagine this post:
>>367718 >You don't care yet you're here
being replied to by this post:
>>367741 >I don't care
Uhm, why are you back again?

Hehe, wtf is even going on? ^^
Anonymous
6518d81
?
No.367898
367900 367909 367929
Why do you people still reply to the brit? This is my first time reading through this thread and it's just 90% gay little drama between him and everyone else. This isn't any different from discord clique faggotry, just stop replying to him. You're all pathetic. Making memes of him only encourages him more. Making walls and walls of text just flatters him. Literally just stop talking to him or make a new thread, Jesus. Its almost like you ENJOY his obnoxiousness.
Anonymous
f6ef037
?
No.367900
>>367898
>Its almost like you ENJOY his obnoxiousness.
He is funny if you ask. Nothing wrong with it.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367908
367930
Jason Godwin IRL.jpg
>>367741
>I know it upsets you when I tell you I don't respect you and skim your posts and ignore anything I don't value
Inaccurate. What "upsets" me is when you post anything at all, because you seldom write anything worth reading, and you write a ton of it.

>I saw some half-finished shit in my documents and thought "Hey, might as well finish it, get it out there, give this starving thread on a dying site some content not from the same few overworked people".
Uh...why?

Anyway, those questions aside, this statement just confirms everything I said before: you don't care about your own work enough to put actual effort into it, you dump whatever excrement you produce into our thread because you physically can't function without our attention, and you're such a delusional narcissist that you honestly think you're doing us a favor by letting us read it.

>I don't understand why people who don't respect me as a person expect me to respect them as an authority
First and most obvious, you've done absolutely nothing to deserve respect as a person; if anything, I've lost respect for you over the years. After five years of interacting with you on this site, I can honestly say that you are among the most obnoxious, boorish, dense, toxic and repulsive people I have ever encountered, either online or irl, and that I find in you not one single redeeming human virtue. We should respect you? Why? You sound like some left-wing TikTok fatty. You go around behaving like a toxic self-absorbed cunt, and then you think everyone should treat you with "respect" simply because you exist.

Second, nobody here expects you to "respect them as an authority." At this point nobody here expects much of anything from you, we just wish you would shut up and leave like you keep saying that you're going to. You never have anything to contribute to the conversation around here except self-indulgent, self-pitying, narcissistic whining and the occasional piece of mediocre fanfiction. Oh, right, and your reams upon reams of unsolicited opinions about video games; can't forget that, I suppose.

>It wouldn't surprise me if The Critical Drinker was a fan of the AVGN at some point
As usual, I have no idea what the fuck you're rambling about and you provide no context, so your long non-sequitur rant was a wasted effort. I'm assuming these guys are YouTubers or something? And according to you they're apparently good at it? Or bad maybe? I don't know. I don't give a shit about YouTube.

>But it's always hard for the wannabe critic to understand when he isn't valued and why, because to him the critic is the master of the artist and any artist who disagrees with this reductive thought-terminating inherently anti-art worldview is a bad artist "violating the natural order of things out of pettiness and inadequacy and spite", because even though the wannabe critic has no insight that makes him a better critic than any other bog-standard complainer or anything about him that makes him any kind of useful asset to any artist the critic expects to be treated like Gordon fucking Ramsay even if all he has to say is the kind of "fuck you kill yourself lmao niggerfaggot" shit children said to each other over Sonic fanfiction almost twenty years ago.
I have no response to this, I just wanted to call attention to the fact that this is all one sentence, lol. Also: it just wouldn't be a Nigel post if you didn't throw Sonic the retarded butt-fucking Hedgehog in there somewhere, would it?

>The greatest works of western literature could have been discussed on this site, we could have read a chapter together and discussed it every week or every three days, but finding dogshit pony fanfiction from almost a decade ago and collectively calling it shit or relying on somebody else to waste his time stating the obvious for us is just so much easier even if it's not an overhyped fandom darling but instead some practically unheard of piece of shit nobody cares about, like an Angry Video Game Nerd knockoff who tries to search for even worse-rated games to flame even though nobody cares that the shovelware fimfiction equivalent of Imagine Babies for the Wii is like a "shit sundae fermented inside a sun-scorched nigger corpse" and Eragon reads like it was written by a teenager because it was, even though something could have been learned from analyzing interesting experiments in the gaming landscape or literary world.
This is all one sentence too, lmao. Just out of curiosity, what does someone like you even have to say about the "greatest works of western literature?" Can you even name any of them, let alone discuss them? Other than a smattering of YA stuff like Eragon and maybe two or three books that I've recommended to you in previous threads, as far as I can tell you've never picked up a book in your life. At least if you have, you never talk about any of them. If your posts from any of our writing discussion threads are any indicator, the only media you consume is a low-grade slurry of video games, YouTube videos, Western cartoons and anime and you don't even like any good anime ffs; everything you talk about is just autistic Shonen Jump battle-monsters style crap.

And it's not even that there's anything inherently wrong with liking stuff like that. I play games from time to time, and enjoy the occasional trashy anime. I don't spend literally every waking minute of my life reading Faulkner and Hemingway and all that. Your problem is that not only is your knowledge base exclusively limited to autismo consoomer properties, you can't even make intelligent conversation about that stuff. You didn't like Mass Effect because it was gay and leftist, for some dumb reason you can't articulate. You didn't like Pokemon Fire Emblem because it was gay and leftist, for some dumb reason you can't articulate. This is what literary discussion looks like for you. Is it any wonder nobody wants to have a conversation with you?
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.367909
367929
>>367898
I feel like you should be right, but honestly? I've tried ignoring him, and that doesn't work either.
Anonymous
bb5d1ea
?
No.367929
>>367898
He's been bullied off the site a couple times. It is amusing to watch it unfold. The key to enjoy niggel slander, starts with knowing the clown will always be back.
>>367909
This.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367930
367934 367936
_ecbbc44f-dc9e-4e7d-801f-57b6967e4737.jpg
>>367741
>>367908
Also:

>the "best" advice I ever got was "read a lot on your own and figure it out for yourself"
For one thing, this actually is very good advice. If you want to learn how to write fiction, you should read as much fiction as possible, for the same reason that someone wanting to play the guitar should listen to other guitar players. Not only are there plenty of little technical things you can pick up this way, but every writer has their own unique, nuanced approach to telling stories. By reading different books by different authors, you'll expose yourself to different techniques and approaches, and you can decide for yourself which ones you like and which ones you don't. And as far as figuring it out for yourself, there are large aspects of this that you literally just have to learn by doing, and it's a continuous process of trial and error.

For another, you've been given plenty of advice beyond this. I myself have spent untold hours combing through the dreck you write, and attempting to hold your hand and walk you through the most basic things you do wrong, usually over and over and over. So have plenty of other people here. You never seem to absorb a word of it or follow any advice you're given.

>I've figured out a lot for myself
No, you haven't. In fact, not only have you failed to figure out much of anything for yourself, you've failed to implement any of the reams upon reams of practical advice you've been given, that you claim you haven't been given.

I can show you examples of this in real time. Let's have a look at what's in your current fimfic profile. This is you, isn't it?
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/466312/SparkapocalypseVanguard

Interestingly, I notice you have ratings disabled for most of your stories. I wonder what could have possibly motivated you to do that? Hmm. Anyway, the story you posted to this thread:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/543055/1/my-little-brony-this-is-a-fanfic/this-is-a-chapter
I refuse to even look at on principle.

However:

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/532479/1/twilight-sparkle-and-the-casino-of-doom/casinos-more-like-casi-no
This entire "story" can be summed up thusly: Spike comes home one day excited about visiting a casino that was apparently just built. Twilight lectures him about why the author she thinks casinos are bad. After listening to her massive block-paragraph lecture, Spike concludes that he was wrong. Then, Twilight writes a massive block-paragraph letter to Princess Celestia that repeats, basically word for word, everything she just told Spike about casinos in her massive block-paragraph lecture.

The entire text consists of your own thinly-veiled opinions, written out in massive block paragraphs and dumped into quotes which are then forced into the mouth of a character. How many damned times have you been told to stop doing this? You did this constantly throughout your old Silver Star thing, and you were called out on it then. I call this sort of writing "sockpuppet dialog." I've also seen a lot of it in other fics I've reviewed, and I have called it out every time I've seen it.

Since you clearly don't respect my opinion anymore, maybe you should go through your own fucking comments section and see how literally every fucking person tells you exactly the same fucking thing that I just did.

Then, there's your most recent one:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/543688/1/morbino-morblo/morb-morb-morb
Like almost everything you write, this one reads like it was written ironically or as a dumb joke, and subsequently very little serious effort was put into it. The plot is barely worth summarizing: a guy named Morbius lives in a place called Morbino Land, he can shapeshift or something I guess, and he does battle with an evil wizard named Morblo. The name of just about everything in the story is some variation on the word "morb." This feels like a reference or an in-joke, and a quick google search confirms this: apparently, "morb" is a meme that originated from the film Morbius, which was apparently some capeshit movie that came out last year and bombed. Anyway, Morbius uses...a bunch of magic cars ???...to somehow...defeat this evil wizard I guess, and then...he starts ranting about the Federal Reserve. I'm not even making this up.

Anyway...Jesus Christ. This is seriously some next-level autism. The guy drones on about the Federal Reserve for like four paragraphs, and we once again see the grim specter of sockpuppet dialogue raising its ugly head. Oh, this here is interesting:

>Suddenly the story reveals this was all a story. It was all written by Pinkie Pie in an afternoon for a book club writing assignment, and Twilight Sparkle tells her this is definitely a better story than the last time she tried writing and looks out the window to see they were in space all along. Then Twilight praises Pinkie's novel and tells her what to improve on.
>ChatGPT
Yes, it seems the exciting plot-twist was that this whole ridiculous thing was actually written by Pinkie Pie. This is honestly the least plausible direction this story could possibly have taken, since not even Pinkie would be this autistic. However, more interesting than this is that "ChatGPT" is actually part of the text. I'll go out on a limb here and say that ChatGPT wrote at least some of this (probably not the Federal Reserve stuff; that's all clearly vintage Nigel), and you probably marked off the ChatGPT portions for reference. I'm also guessing that you forgot to delete this line when you pasted the text in. Because of this, I'm going to go even further out on a limb, and say that you probably still don't bother to even cursorily proofread any of the crap you write before you post it to fimfiction.

Anyway, fuck it; I'm feeling the itch, and I've got nothing better to do for a couple of hours. Anyone up for a good old-fashioned "Glim Glam dunks on Nigel's Shitty Fimfiction Ramblings" session? I am.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367934
_5313da5c-de00-4754-b509-906e8a93f8a4.jpg
>>367930
>>367741
Continuing with the "morb" thing. There's not really much else to say about the actual story that I haven't already covered, however there are a couple of quotes that are worth calling attention to.

Apparently, typing out a four-paragraph rant about the Federal Reserve didn't quite satiate your urge to shart out your own moronic opinions as block paragraphs and dump them down the throats of your characters. There's another one from Pinkie towards the end:

>Pinkie giggled. "Isn't it funny that a show that once visually mocked the cliche of bad futures and alternate timelines with a joke episode went on to unironically self-seriously depict numerous bad timelines wiped away without a second thought by a pony that is clearly, according to her fans, the greatest idea Hasbro ever had? I mean, isn't that a little messed up? Glimmer literally created ponies, and uncreated ponies, as casually as I might create a loud toot! Time was a plaything for her, all to make you sad, Twilight, and make sure you can't beat her in a fight, so you'd decide you had to forgive her for everything and try to force her to see why friendship is good even though it took her WAY too long to figure out the concept of respecting the rights of others. It almost seems like awful terrible objectively bad contrived writing and if anyone in this accursed fandom who thought season 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or any other season was too bad for their tastes and moved on with their life came back to check this out they'd laugh and leave the fandom all over again! Then again season one bronies liked Fallout Equestria and Past Sins so maybe their taste was never more important than feeling like they were a part of something."

There are some gems hidden in this dense web of autism. First, and probably most hilarious, is that, despite all the time that's passed and all your claims to the contrary, it's clear that you still haven't quite managed to get over your intense hateboner for Starlight Glimmer. Second is this:

>Then again season one bronies liked Fallout Equestria and Past Sins so maybe their taste was never more important than feeling like they were a part of something
Apart from your usual condescension towards a fandom upon which you are clearly still very dependent for your hourly fix of dopamine, I notice you specifically bring up Past Sins and Fallout Equestria. Gee willickers, aren't those the same fics I reviewed? I also remember that, in the Lion Man story you posted here which according to your profile is actually called Fallout Equestria: Lionheart, you went on a long, long rant about the original Fallout Equestria story. It was the same sort of thing, where you wrote out your own opinions as long, incoherent block paragraphs and stuffed them into your character's mouth. However, they weren't so much your opinions as they were my opinions, culled directly from my review of Fallout Equestria, and paraphrased in your own rambling schizo style. It's almost like...you have no ability to assess the worth of stories on your own, so you have to take my views and regurgitate them. I don't take offense, mind you, I honestly think it's adorable. You hate me so much, but you want to be me so badly.

Also:

>Twilight continued, "However, there's always room for improvement. In the future, try to focus on pacing and structure. Sometimes your story felt a bit chaotic, and it can be helpful to have a clear beginning, middle, and end."
Irony levels off the charts.

>"And you really need to learn to integrate political messages better. But at least you didn't awkwardly shoehorn in any feet or anything like that, so you're a better writer and person than at least 40% of writers already." Twilight smiled warmly at her friend. "But don't ever lose your boundless creativity, Pinkie! It's what makes your stories so unique and enjoyable!"
IRONY LEVELS CRITICAL

Anyway, the story ends with Twilight and Pinkie kissing for some reason, and a completely inappropriate Monty Python reference is thrown in as a final cherry to top off this shit sundae.

Next up:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/536353/1/a-pointless-story/i-dont-know-what-you-expected

This one is titled "A Pointless Story," and the description reads "a pointless story in which nothing happens." The accompanying image is a distended portrait of Maude Pie, who does not appear in the story at all. I notice that both ratings and comments are turned off for this one.

Anyway, this story feels like most of it was also written by ChatGPT. Nothing really happens and there's very little in the way of character interaction, so it's basically just words. It maintains a pretty consistent dark mood, there are a lot of references to ancient prophecies and finding the truth, but in the end...nothing really happens. Twilight and her friends journey across Equestria for some vaguely-defined reason, and then eventually Discord shows up, and Pinkie Pie makes the following dumb joke:

>"Grabahan!" she exclaimed, unable to contain her mirth.
>Twilight Sparkle tilted her head in confusion.
>Pinkie Pie grinned. "Grabahan full of deez nuts!"
Again, I'm fairly certain that ChatGPT wrote at least 90% of this story, but I'm assuming "Grabahan full of deez nuts" was your own personal contribution. Congratulations: every time I think you can't possibly lower the bar for yourself any further, you manage to surprise me.

Anyway, that's basically the end of it. I actually have to say, this is probably some of your best work. You promised us a pointless story in which nothing happens, and you delivered exactly that. You set a reasonable goal for yourself, and you achieved it. Nice job. Why on earth you would ever choose to publish something like this is another matter entirely.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367936
367938
_ed4cf2ca-379b-4db0-8ea1-f49300c91e13.jpg
>>367930
>>367741

Next on the docket:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/543307/1/unmasking-the-shadows/the-hoof-of-suspicion

This story is called "Unmasking the Shadows," and the description reads: "The Thunder Hooves Gang can't keep getting away with it. Rainbow Dash embarks on an epic quest to infiltrate the menacing Thunder Hooves biker gang. But when they blackmail her, who can she trust?"

Anyway, the story begins with some dull narration. Apparently, Ponyville has been overrun by a biker gang called the Thunder Hooves for some reason or another. Rainbow Dash overhears ponies at Sugar Cube Corner discussing how the Thunder Hooves are planning to attack the town library. How exactly ordinary ponies hanging out at a sweet shop would be aware of the biker gang's plans is never clarified. Also unclear is why bikers would want to attack a library. Anyway, Dash decides to infiltrate the gang so she can expose their "nefarious plans."

>Rainbow Dash approached the Thunder Hooves' secret hideout, a rundown shack on the outskirts of Ponyville. She had dyed her hair blue and white. Hopefully that was a sufficient disguise.
Why would that be a sufficient disguise? Do the bikers use those colors or something? You don't clarify what the significance of dying her hair blue and white would be. You also don't clarify why Dash would even need a disguise. Do they know who she is? Does she want to keep her identity a secret from them? Because in literally the next sentence:

>She took a deep breath and walked in, hoping her reputation as a fearless daredevil would earn her a place among the gang.
Already, this story makes absolutely no sense. She's going to disguise herself, but also her whole plan depends on the bikers recognizing her and being familiar with her reputation? What the shit, dude? Is this another ChatGPT, or do you just not even bother to think these things through?

Anyway, the issue is moot. Dash introduces herself as "Thunderstrike," and for some reason the gang just immediately allows her to join, no initiation or interview or anything. She hangs out with them for a few weeks, participating in their various shenanigans, and then, for no apparent reason, they decide to blackmail her.

>One evening, Doomthunder cornered Rainbow Dash. "Listen up, Thunderstrike," he sneered. "We've got some plans for you. You're gonna tag the Ponyville Library tonight, and you're gonna talk like you've gone completely bad. Also you're gonna get close to this Twilight loser and earn her trust and get her to say embarassing stuff. If you refuse, we'll expose your true identity to the whole town! And if we get arrested, keep this in mind. If we go down, you go down with us!"
I am so fucking confused. Does this gang know who she really is, or don't they? Why are they doing any of this in the first place? Also, "embarrassing" is misspelled.

Anyway, I guess Rainbow Dash has to go and write poopoo-peepee graffiti on Twilight's library now. She feels morally conflicted about this for a bit, and then decides she has to do it for some reason, because she's trying to bring this biker gang to justice or whatever.

>Unbeknownst to Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle had noticed her strange behavior and the graffiti on the library. Twilight's analytical mind couldn't ignore the inconsistencies in her friend's actions. She began to suspect that something was amiss with Rainbow Dash.
Something amiss, like the fact that she now has blue and white hair for some reason, plus her friends are all bikers and she's apparently been spending a lot of time inside the library spraying graffiti on the walls? Twilight is clearly a master detective.

Anyway, Twilight I guess figures out that Rainbow Dash is acting peculiar, and meanwhile Rainbow Dash is recording the biker gang's phone calls or something, and then eventually Rainbow Dash breaks down and confesses to Twilight that she was the one who sprayed graffiti all over her library. Which I understood to be something that Twilight already knew. Anyway, after this, Twilight and Rainbow Dash go to Celestia together, and they present whatever evidence Dash collected on the biker gang. The gang gets arrested.

>As Rainbow Dash stood before her friends, her secret exposed but her intentions clear, Twilight approached her with a warm smile. "Rainbow, I'm so proud of you for trying to protect Ponyville. I should have trusted you from the beginning."
What is her secret again? That she was in the biker gang? I thought she was only pretending to be in the gang to expose them? Is that what the gang was planning to blackmail her with? The fact that she was in the gang? Did they know that she was actually Rainbow Dash? Because they were calling her Thundercheeks or whatever the whole time. Were they blackmailing Dash because she was in the gang, or were they blackmailing Thundercheeks because...reasons? This literally makes no goddamn sense.

Anyway, Twilight and her friends all forgive Rainbow Dash for doing whatever she is supposed to have done exactly, and the gang is in jail. The day is saved. Hooray.

Seriously, Nigel, what the fuck? I honestly can't tell if you're intentionally writing mediocre stories as some kind of autistic joke that only makes sense to you, or if this literally is what you trying your absolute best looks like. I just...I don't even understand what this is. Why did you write this? Who is it for? Did you write this to be ironic or something, or do you honestly believe this has some sort of entertainment value? So far all of your stories are like this.

I mean, really dude. The Silver Star thing was bad, but it was bad in a funny way, and at the very least it seemed like you actually gave a shit about what you were writing. This is just...pure mediocrity, and what's more, the mediocrity feels intentional. Why would you even write something like this, let alone publish it for people to read?

All jokes aside, I am legitimately embarrassed for you right now.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367938
367939
_3db8b5b8-687c-42bb-8a77-b4810f7be942.jpg
>>367936
>>367741

Anyway, next up:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/536214/twilight-sparkle-and-rainbow-dashs-love

"Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love." Description is a short poem: "Gleaming hearts take flight, Twilight and Rainbow unite, Love's colors ignite." This one is divided into three chapters.

Romance Blossoms

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle have been living together for awhile, as part of something called the "Interspecies Cultural Exchange Program." The text never clarifies what this is, or how exactly it would affect their living situation, since both are presumably of the same species. Anyway, Twilight comes home from some kind of workout or something, and Rainbow Dash is sitting there. After a very brief preamble, Dash announces that she is in love with Twilight, and Twilight responds by saying that she feels the same way. For the next few paragraphs, they exchange some overly saccharine dialogue about how much they love each other. Since we've been given absolutely no background on either of these characters, or any kind of setup for them to have a relationship at all, absolutely none of it feels even remotely genuine. We are then informed that this goes on for several more weeks. Eventually, we rejoin them one afternoon on the couch. However, nothing else happens besides more saccharine descriptions of them snuggling with each other. This is literally a complete synopsis of the entire chapter.

Trial of the Moon

>The next full moon approached, casting its ethereal glow upon the land. But for Twilight's new Alicorn body, the full moon brought with it unique challenges that she and her love faced together.
So I guess she's an alicorn now? Was she not one before? As with all of the other selections we've looked at tonight, this is not so much a story as it is a crude outline of an idea. We've been given essentially no information about either of these characters, other than the fact that they lived together as part of some kind of same-species interspecies exchange program, and that, for no explicable reason, they are suddenly in love with each other.

Anyway, it's not really clear how or why, but it seems that the full moon does something to Twilight Sparkle. Maybe she's a werewolf or something, who knows? The text doesn't clarify. In any event, Dash, her "lover" apparently, decides to help her with whatever her problem is by throwing javelins at her, so she can take her mind off of the moon by dodging them seriously people, I promise I am not exaggerating or distorting any of this; read this autism for yourself if you don't believe me.

>But as the night wore on, the full moon's influence seemed to intensify, and Twilight Sparkle's struggle became more challenging. She could feel her instincts tugging at her, urging her to break free from the restraints of her human form.
Wait, she's a human in this? The story is tagged MLP:FIM, the image shows pony versions of Twilight and Dash, and we haven't been told otherwise, so I've been assuming these were horse versions of both characters. Is this what the "Interspecies Exchange" business was about? Twi is a human and Dash is a pony? Or something? As with everything else we've read tonight, this story is clumsily written and makes little sense, almost as if the person writing it gave absolutely zero fucks about either his characters or his subject matter. Jesus Christ, Nigel.

Anyway, I guess the two of them are flying around at night, because Twilight is an alicorn now, and also a human apparently, and she's afraid of the moon for some reason. They throw javelins at each other for awhile, there's some more schmultzy description of how deeply they love each other, then I guess the moon goes away and whatever problem Twilight was having basically resolves itself.

>As dawn broke, the full moon began to wane, its power diminishing. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash looked at each other, a mixture of relief and gratitude evident in their eyes. They had faced the challenges of the full moon together, and nothing exploded this time, thanks to their love and unwavering support guiding them through the darkest of nights.
You have still given us absolutely zero clarification about whatever Twilight's deal with the moon is.

>Hand in hand, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash walked back home, the echoes of their shared triumph still resonating within them.
So they're both human? But also they can fly and one of them is an alicorn? And they're both enrolled in something called the Interspecies Exchange Program? And Twilight is afraid of the moon for some unspecified reason? Just making sure we're on the same page here.

Anyway, after this, they go back home and that's the end of the chapter.

Their First Kiss

Apparently, the next chapter is the story of their first kiss. Even though we are told that they have been madly in love with each other for a period of actual months now, and they have done nothing besides snuggle and cuddle and hurl javelins at each other for that entire period of time...it seems they haven't kissed yet. Maybe they're saving it for marriage, the way Pony and/or Human and/or Alicorn Jesus would want them to.

Anyway, Twilight and Dash decide to go to some library in Ohayo. They pick out some books.

>Derpy Hooves was there, with her foal. She quickly extended her wings so her foal didn't see two mares holding wings in public.
Who is Derpy Hooves? You haven't introduced this character. Also: you refer to them as mares, but in the previous paragraph you mention fingers. Are these characters humans? Horses? Anthro whatever-the-fucks? You give us absolutely nothing to go on.

Anyway, they read books at the library for awhile, and then they go home. On the way, they kiss. That's literally it. The text spends more time building up the kiss itself than it ever does explaining who either of these characters are or why they are in a relationship with each other.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367939
367940
_89b562df-c01b-47a8-b388-f804f914728d.jpg
>>367938
>>367741
Anyway, Jesus. This one was, by a wide margin, the worst one of the batch. And that's saying something, because literally every single thing I've read on your fimfic so far I would grade on a scale ranging from mediocre to awful. I'm not even trying to bantz on you anymore, this one was just horrendously, embarrassingly bad. What was this story even supposed to be about? Two characters with absolutely no depth or substance, or even a rough description of who the fuck they are or even what species, suddenly fall in love for no reason, spend copious amounts of time snuggling and calling each other schmoopy-doopy, then they go to a library and kiss. Oh right, and there was this absolutely ridiculous thing about one character being afraid of the fucking moon that was just wedged in out of absolutely nowhere.

The subject matter of this story reminds me of another one you submitted to the previous writing thread:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/530649/1/science-and-ponies-and-love/ka-boom

I'm not going to go over it again because I already reviewed it, but here's the interesting thing: this current story, "Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love", is a considerably worse story than "Science and Ponies and Love." However, "Science" was published in February of 2023, whereas "Twilight & Rainbow's Love" was published in May of 2023. I just went back to the old thread and verified that I reviewed "Science" in February. So, this means that you wrote a story, asked for feedback, received feedback, and then, three months later...went on to produce an even worse story about the same subject matter. You not only blatantly ignored all of the notes I gave you on that story, you actually managed to take all of that story's problems and somehow make them even worse. Instead of a story about poorly-defined characters who are in love for some poorly-defined reason, you wrote a story about characters with no definition at all, who fall in love for no reason whatsoever. Instead of writing a story where the reader is wondering whether these two characters are supposed to be friends or dating or married or what, you wrote a story where the reader can't even tell whether the characters are supposed to be humans or horses. Instead of a story with a weird conflicting plot, that feels like it's half supposed to be about Dash confessing her love to Twilight, and half about some kind of science experiment gone wrong, you've managed to write a story with no plot at all, where the most interesting thing going on is that Twilight is afraid of the moon and you flat-out refuse to tell us why.

Anyways, up next:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/530646/hay-burger

This story is called "Hay Burger." The description reads: "Twilight Sparkle wants a burger. So does Rainbow Dash. And they were lesbians. Except it was all a story written by Maud. But they're still lesbians. Trigger Warning: Contains lesbians (don't read if you're homophobic)"

Nothing much really happens in this story. Twilight and Rainbow Dash are married, and they decide to order some hay burgers. They argue back and forth about whether or not to order fries, because fries are unhealthy. They ultimately decide to order hayburgers with a side-salad, and split an order of fries, thus finding a middle-ground between flavor and good nutrition. The section concludes with a letter to Princess Celestia, summarizing what they have both learned about balancing desire against responsibility.

>Rainbow Dash was a Pegasus pony who lived in Equestria, a land filled with magic and wonder. She was known for her lightning-fast speed and her love of adventure. And her big heart. And her gorgeous lesbian wife.
This is literally the most information you've given us about any character in any of your stories thus far. I'm inclined to give this story a higher rating simply because of that.

Actually, this is probably one of your better stories in general, at least in comparison to everything else here. The story focuses on a simple conversation, the dialogue feels more or less natural, the characters mostly stay on topic except for a couple of places, and, probably most impressive of all, the story is actually about something. That's right, you read it here first folks: Nigel actually managed to write a story with a point.

The focus of the story is a simple conflict between Twilight and Dash: Twilight wants them to have a healthy dinner, Dash wants to pig out a little. They argue back and forth, and ultimately they compromise. The story ends with a simple moral about responsible eating that is summed up in a "Dear Princess" letter. Simplistic? Yes, but for what it is it's actually pretty decent.

Congratulations, Nigel. I have been on you for literal years now to practice writing stuff like this in order to learn basic, rudimentary storytelling, and you finally managed to do it. Granted, you've only managed it once so far, and based on your later stories you don't seem to have learned much from doing it, but still; credit where credit is due. I guess if you let a blind, autistic, borderline-retarded pig sniff around in the mud long enough, he'll eventually find an acorn.

Or at least, that's what I would have said to you if you hadn't made the inexplicable choice to toss in a needless page break and then end the story this way:

>“So, what did you think of Maud's story?” Pinkie Pie danced around Twilight Sparkle and literally bounced off the walls while waiting for Twilight Sparkle's verdict.
>Twilight wasn't certain what to say.
>Rainbow Dash opened her mouth wide to tell everypony exactly what she thought of Maud's story, and Twilight cringed.
Just...why? It was fine the way it was. What could have possibly motivated you to tack this bullshit on at the end? I am docking you every single point I gave you on this story; you're officially a cum-gargling faggot again.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367940
367941
_bbcaeb89-daa5-4f1b-af77-930afb4a9c25.jpg
>>367939
>>367741

Next:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/534816/1/rainbow-dashs-nightmare-jar/and-he-took-the-cup-and-gave-thanks-and-gave-it-to-them-saying-drink-ye-all-of-it

This story is called "Rainbow Dash's Nightmare Jar," and I'm assuming it's about exactly what it appears to be about. Most notably, it's one of the few stories on the list that you've actually enabled ratings on, and even more surprisingly for a Nigel story, it has a net-positive rating.

It's...okay for what it is, I guess. Rainbow Dash has a recurring nightmare in which she is trapped in a jar that keeps filling up with sticky white liquid. She almost drowns, and then she wakes up. Eventually, she seeks out Twilight's advice on the dream. After talking things out, they decide that Rainbow is feeling trapped because she spends too much time flying or something, so she decides to branch out and try new things. She learns to paint and do some other stuff, and the dream stops happening. That's about it.

The main problem with this is that it can't really decide what it wants to be. Obviously, the subject matter suggests that it's just going to be a funny, shitposty story about a well-traveled meme. However, the subject matter is only funny if you already know what the jar and the white liquid are about, while the story itself isn't really humorous. At first, it feels like it might turn into a horror story, what with the foreboding depictions of drowning, and the recurring nightmare and all. However, that never really pans out either. In the end, there's just some middle of the road conversation that doesn't really move the emotional needle one way or the other, and then eventually, with Twilight's help, Dash sorts her shit out and stops having the dream. The story introduces a problem, sends the character on a journey to solve said problem, ultimately she finds the solution she needs by talking things out with her friend, and then the problem resolves, with Dash having made some level of personal growth as a result. Technically, it's a complete story, it's just kind of...meh. You could probably make the case that there's a simple message in here about confiding in friends instead of suffering in silence, but...that's about it.

Anyway, I'm going to just go ahead and toss you a few points here, since again, this is the kind of "learn basic storytelling" exercise I've been telling you to do for awhile now, and you basically pull it off.

And now, finally, as I think this is the last one on the list that I haven't already reviewed:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/509286/1/twilight-and-rainbows-gay-old-time/hitchcocks-bomb-theorem

This one is called "Twilight and Rainbow's Gay Old Time." Seriously Nigel, wtf is it with you and this pairing? I mean, I guess everyone has their favorite characters and things to write about, but still. There are other characters in this show that you could pair up and write terrible romance stories about.

Anyway, the story starts out with Twilight and Dash in bed together. There is a storm outside, and they are hiding from the thunder, and then they start making out. It actually starts out more or less decently, until:

>“Is that a Jojo's reference?” Pinkie Pie asked happily, popping up from nowhere between them, causing the two lovers to scream and back away, falling off their bed.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>“Pinkie, what are you doing here?” Twilight held up some papers. “You're not in this episode!”
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>“Whoopsie!” Pinkie smiled, suddenly on a pink motorcycle (Available in all kid's toy stores now!) as she drove through their bedroom window and flew away, leaving flaming pink trails behind in the sky.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Nigel.

Anyway, after that nonsense happens, the two of them launch into a discussion about coming out of the closet and telling their friends that they're into each other. Some more nonsense ensues. Spike is downstairs taking a shit. Twilight yells down to Spike that she's a flaming homo, Spike yells back that he already knows and that he's also a flaming homo and so is the author of the story, and then they start talking about Rainbow Dash's grandparents, and how neither of them are aware that Twilight and Rainbow are flaming homos.

Eventually it's revealed that, for some completely unknown reason, Twilight invited Dash's homophobic grandfather to visit them in the middle of a thunderstorm. He shows up, bellows "I hate gays" at the top of his lungs, and asks to meet Dash's boyfriend. At this point, it is revealed that Dash told her grandfather that Twilight was a boy. Also, he apparently found a comic that she was drawing or something, and since he apparently also hates comics, Dash had to tell him that she was drawing a picture of her boyfriend. Or something. So now, Grandpa Dash is under the impression that Twilight is a "blond dude with a lightning mane."

Despite it being a completely inappropriate time to do so, Dash shows Twilight the comic book she's been working on, and Twilight compliments her on it. They yammer autistically about it for longer than is appropriate. Then, they remember that Dash's grandpa is still downstairs, so Twilight uses her magic to transform herself into Rainbow Dash's comic book OC, because she can do that apparently. It now appears that, until we are told to do otherwise, we must now refer to Twilight Sparkle as a male character named Daybreak Dawn.

Dash spends a considerable amount of time licking her chops over boy-Twilight, which seems to imply that she's less gay than she thinks she is. There is some more autism that is a little hard to follow, and then eventually they wind up downstairs. Dash's Grandpa apparently hasn't given up and gone home yet.

>He had a mane just like Rainbow Dash, only black, though with added golden highlights at the tips.
You haven't described Rainbow Dash's mane in this story, so this comparison is invalid.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367941
367943
_36795405-708a-4ddf-8601-3049c698f72f.jpg
>>367940
>>367741

There's some more autism, and then Rainbow Dash introduces her grandfather to Dawn Surprise, or whatever boy-Twilight's new name is. Grandpa sends Dash off to the kitchen to fix breakfast because she's a woman, and Dash realizes that she doesn't now how to cook, because she's bad at being a woman.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up an egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up another egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

>“I know how to cook,” Rainbow Dash told herself as she picked up another egg, and put it into a big glass mixing bowl.

This text is copypasted exactly as it appears. I'm getting some weird flashbacks all of a sudden:

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-mare declared, appearing behind Twilight with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

>“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.

>“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.

Anyway, Dash is trying to bake a cake or something, and she's not very good at it. She goes out to tell her grandfather that, eventually, he will need to eat all the eggs. However, she will have to figure out how to cook them first. Some more incomprehensible autism ensues.

>"Steamed hams!" Rainbow blurted for no reason.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>"What?" Her grandfather whatted.
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

>"I mean creamed hams! Dawn's creamed in my hamstrings before!"
Jesus fucking Christ, Nigel.

ANYWAY, there's a knock at the door all of a sudden. Rainbow flies over to answer it, and Big Mac is there. Apparently, Apple Bloom left her lunchbox at Twilight Sparkle's house for some inexplicable reason, and for some equally inexplicable reason, Big Mac decided to come over in the middle of a thunderstorm to pick it up. He sees man-Twilight, and immediately begins salivating over his massive horse dong. Then, he leaves.

Then, once again for some completely inexplicable reason, lightning suddenly strikes the treebrary, and because Rainbow Dash conveniently left the gas on in the kitchen from when she was trying to make cookies or whatever, the treebrary explodes. Man-Twilight casts a spell to protect them all, and in the process turns back into Twilight Sparkle, so thankfully there will be no further confusion about names or genders.

At this point, it seems the jig is up. Twilight and Rainbow Dash kiss in front of grandpa and confess that they are actually ponut-bumpers. Grandpa confesses that he actually doesn't care and he's only been saying "I hate gays" over and over throughout the story because he likes to troll gays. Since he had no way of knowing that Dash and Twilight were gay, it's unclear who exactly he thought he was trolling, but...we'll put a pin in that for now.

Anyway, at this point the story takes a rather bizarre turn. Since Twilight's house is now destroyed, and presumably there's still a thunderstorm going on, Twilight and Dash decide to go to Rarity's house to fuck, because "she isn't in this episode" and that means her house is free. This feels like a good time to mention that I really, really hate this kind of fourth-wall humor.

Meanwhile, Dash's grandfather flies off and makes the following cryptic statement:

>“I can't believe Dashie asked me to do this, just to see if her gay lover would do anything awful when confronted by a situation like this. What a strange little pony! Well, before I go home...”
Yes, it would seem that the shocking twist in this week's episode is that Dash knew all along that her Grandfather wasn't actually homophobic, and that the whole thing was just a ruse to see how Twilight would react. This completely negates all of Dash's motivations throughout the entire story and renders all of her actions nonsensical, but...we'll put a pin in that as well.

Also, it turns out that Dash's grandpa is gay himself, so he flies off to the local gay club to watch Big Mac, who is also gay, do his gay dance.

The story concludes with a letter from Dash to Princess Celestia, informing her that she and Twilight are gay.

Wew. Alrighty then.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.367943
368011
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>>367941
>>367741
Well, Nigel, that is all of the stories on your current fimfiction page, so you can't ever say that I haven't given your writing a fair shake. As far as I am aware, I have now read everything you've ever written (except for the thing you specifically asked this thread to read, which I refuse to read on principle). Suffice it to say I am unimpressed overall. In fact, that's actually kind of an understatement. I was unimpressed to begin with; now I'm actually even less impressed than I would have been if you'd written nothing.

As much as you seem to think that everyone on this site is obsessed with you, the truth is that nobody here really cares all that much. You're really only an issue when you're here causing drama, when you're gone I don't really give much thought to where you are or what you're doing. As such, I've only ever read the stories you've specifically submitted to this board. This is probably the most actual attention I've paid to any of your writings since Glimmergate. As I said, I didn't really come into this expecting much, but what really struck me about these selections is not just how bad they are, but how little you seem to actually care.

Most of these stories are not showpieces by any stretch of the imagination. "Hayburger" is decent for what it is. "Rainbow Dash's Nightmare Jar", surprisingly, is passable. "Twilight and Rainbow's Gay Old Time" is probably the only thing in here with any actual entertainment value, and that's mostly just due to it having obviously been written to be shitposty and silly. Incidentally, I noticed you titled the chapter in that story "Hitchcock's Bomb Theory," and I notice you seem to have made an effort to maintain some degree of constant tension in that story, so...that's something, I guess. The main problem there is that most of the tension came from nonsensical events being piled on top of each other: Dash's gay-hating grandpa shows up in the middle of a storm for basically no reason, Rainbow Dash has to cook food for basically no reason, she leaves the gas on for basically no reason, Big Mac shows up for basically no reason, the house explodes for basically no reason...

However, what really stands out more than anything else is the mediocrity present in the rest of the pieces. Most of these read like you just don't even care what you're writing about. I mean, you literally have a story in here called "A Pointless Story." And sure enough, it delivers on what it advertises. Why even write something like this? Your romantic stories are incredibly dull. "Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash's Love" was particularly horrendous. Many of these stories are not even fully developed ideas; they're barely even fully developed outlines of ideas. What's striking is that these pieces are actually, measurably worse than your Silver Star thing. It's as I said: as bad as that story was, it was at least clear you cared about it and were putting real effort into it. This stuff? It's like your whole attitude is like "here's some shit I wrote on autopilot, read it or don't."

Anyway, that's about all I've got for now. Thank you all for coming to my TED Talk.
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.368011
368012 368063
192303b6f8e7516b29537daca759aab5.png
>>367943
I love u GG.
If I was a cute pony mare with a hawt plot, I'd let you rail me.
But I'm not.
I don't want to break your princples but I do want some more GG dunks on Noigel reviews. Tho, somepart of me wonders what that says about me, however, it is really funny. I died a few times. Sry, Nigel. Nothing personal, kid.
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.368012
320F7B78F196D47858EA483EF7875C5C-9624.jpg
>>368011
>If I was a cute pony mare
In fact, you kind doxed me with those latest images of yours.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368063
368068
_89be8991-1af4-407c-9ec3-bbc6fbaa3e64.jpg
>>368011
>I don't want to break your princples but I do want some more GG dunks on Noigel reviews
Actually I didn't notice this but for some reason I had the "hide mature" switch set on fimfiction, so there were a couple of stories in there that I missed. I suppose for the sake of completion I could do those too.
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.368068
368070
6667385__safe_alternate+version_artist-colon-vultraz_editor-colon-sersys_starlight+glimmer_oc_oc-colon-anon_human_pony_unicorn_female_open+mouth_rejection_sad_s.png
>>368063
Yay but aslo neigh. I realized something after I made that post: I rather you finished the next chapter in our collab. However, I will never force you to do anything and also maybe you can do both, just that I remember you saying something about how you'd use this month for writing it or something.

Regardless to whatever your next project may be, I look forward to it.

>pic Glimmer talking lewds
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368070
368073
>>368068
I should have my 4chan story wrapped up in the next day or two and then I will focus on getting our collab done. Nigel's stuff isn't a huge priority either way lol, I mostly just did that for keks because I had some late-night time to kill but was too tired to spend it doing anything that required brainpower.
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.368073
368074
fluttershy_winking_by_sniper6vs7rocket_d588h7v-fullview.png
6796482__safe_artist-colon-whitediamonds_imported+from+derpibooru_opalescence_rarity_cat_pony_unicorn_beauty+mark_bipedal_broom_clothes_costume_duo_female_g4_gr.jpg
>>368070
Well, then. Chop chop. Those reviews aren't gonna write themselves.
jk^^

Also, I look forward to being spooked.^^
Anonymous
a72153a
?
No.368074
smile.jpg
>>368073
That didn't actually make much sense. I just don't into reading comprehension.
Anonymous
dfc5ca0
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No.368093
>>367737
>You have NOT been around long enough
Nigger, I've been here since day one. Shove off with your nonsense.
>doesn't get the dopamine rush
How? You're still replying to him.
Anonymous
8133279
?
No.368150
368242
Ants fight.png
Ant backstab.png
Ant close up.png
Ants kiss ooooh.png
Ant party.png
>>367625
I wanted to add that I really appriciate the art. I like the ones to the left most but it's a hard decision.^^

>The queen of ants decreed that she wished there to be a tunnel from the hive to a tree.
>A builder ant saw this as his ticket up.
>He began to dig a hole in the ground near the tree.
>That's when he uncovered a couple of rocks.
>He pull them out of the hole and made a square with them.
>He went back to his hole but on his way he saw some thick fallen branches.
>He picked them up and added walls and a roof to the stone square.
>He returned to the hole again but saw on his way some moss on the ground and some leaves on the trees.
>He grabbed a lot of them and made the branch-roof waterproof with the leaves and made a floor of moss.
>He kept working with his building till sunset.
>In the end he had a beautiful house.
>He then returned to his tunnel and found a hole.
>The whole dya had been spent.
"Argh! Why am I so worthless?" he shouted out to the heavens above.
Anonymous
13af019
?
No.368186
369090
_faf24184-8898-4808-a095-f08edd87c1a2.jpg
Finished my /mlp/ story if anyone wants to read it:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/544043/night-of-the-autumn-moon
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.368240
Hey Nigel, if you're still lurking and sulking the way you normally do, you might want to check out this group I found on fimfic:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/217075/ai-reviews

Completely unbiased reviews written by an AI. No human element whatsoever other than the guy feeding it prompts. Literally the most objective criticism you could possibly ask for. It gives surprisingly insightful advice.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.368242
368304 368386 368387
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>>368150
Also, Sven, since I am now finished with the /mlp/ story, I am once again officially working on our collab.
/mlp/ writing contest entry backups
Not Glim Glam
2b808b4
?
No.368287
368360
I am double-posting this text from NHNB:

>Back in September, we had a Writefag General thread on /mlp/, in which a friendly writing contest was proposed:

>Theme: Nightmare Night
>Word Count: 10,000 words max
>Due Date: October 13 (due date has been extended)
Archived original thread: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40277733/

>Current active thread:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40420593

NHNB thread with the same links:
https://nhnb.org/fim/res/16593.html

>I am creating this thread as a backup where links to contest entries can be posted in case the /mlp/ thread dies. In the event that this happens, whoever creates the new thread can repost these links in the OP. This way we are guaranteed to have all contest entries preserved, in the event that an Anon disappears or didn't save their work locally or something.

I do not claim personal ownership of these stories except the one I wrote, which I already posted, I am just the archivist.

Entries so far:

The Countess by Anon:
https://ponepaste.org/9409

Night of the Autumn Moon by DFW:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/544043/night-of-the-autumn-moon
Anonymous
9803353
?
No.368304
>>368242
Okay, then I know.^^
Thanks for drawing made me happy. ^^
Anonymous
0ef4ccf
?
No.368360
368361 368362 368370
>>368287
Writer of The Countess here (from the writing contest mentioned above). Would it be obnoxious if I posted my story here? I'm not normally on mlpol, so wanted to ask so that I don't ruffle any feathers. Thanks.
Anonymous
dfc5ca0
?
No.368361
>>368360
If you're so concerned, you could just make your own thread.
Anonymous
9803353
?
No.368362
368363
>>368360
Welcome. You can totally post it here. We're grateful for any posting. ^^
Anonymous
9803353
?
No.368363
>>368362
Though a link to you story has already been posted here:>>368287
jfyi. You can still post it if you feel like making it go in greenish format but u probably don't wanna got through the hassle.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.368370
>>368360
You're welcome to post it here, I notice it was also posted on NHNB.

Also, I made a new thread on 4chan:
https://boards.4channel.org/mlp/thread/40446932
Anonymous
9803353
?
No.368386
368440
6749030__safe_artist-colon-gosha305_imported+from+derpibooru_lyra+heartstrings_pony_unicorn_fanfic-colon-background+pony_book_clothes_cold_dig+the+swell+hoodie_.png
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>>368242
Thanks for the ants. They a cute. I like the first one the best but I also like the fourth one.

U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
>>365190

Regardless, feel no preassure. U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like. I know u know this but just a reminder. Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u. Feel free to end postpone this if u don't feel up for it right now. Though, at the same time u also don't need to worry about quality either.

So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
Anonymous
f912f4c
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No.368387
368433
>>368242
Is NO ONE gonna make the 4 ants joke?
Anonymous
0db9c5d
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No.368432
368438
>>359392
Just downloaded the ZIP. There's a lot to go through. Which do you think would be most helpful for writing first person narrative?
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.368433
8DEC4B67BACF0E11C182D590A850D34C-236134.png
>>368387
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368438
368439
_d0cbad67-e79e-44af-ba38-12b18281b8f7.jpg
>>368432
Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything in that collection that specifically focuses on first-person writing. You might try this:
https://self-publishingschool.com/how-to-write-in-first-person/
I haven't read it closely, but it looks like a decent guide from what I can tell.

You could also try one of these commercial books I found, just search for title/author on Amazon:
>Who Says?: Mastering Point of View in Fiction by Lisa Zeidner
This one actually looks fairly promising, and it's only like ten bucks. Or, if you'd rather have something that (((echoes))), you could try:
>Trauma in First Person: Diary Writing During the Holocaust by Amos Goldberg

As far as where to start with the ebooks in my collection, the relevant question is about experience and how much technical help you need. If you've never written or have barely written anything, and you need a complete noob-level guide to getting a story started, I would say start with one of these:

>The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel
>The Guide to Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction
>The Everything Guide to Writing a Romance Novel
These are basically top-level guides that will show you how to map out a story from start to finish. The ones about fantasy and romance are more specifically tailored to those genres, but can still be helpful even if you're trying to do a different sort of story.

This one:
>The Everything Creative Writing Book
is more of an overview of creative writing in general, but is still worth going over. You can pick and choose the sections that are relevant to you.

Honestly most of the "Everything Guide" ones are at least worth skimming, even if you're not trying to write the specific type of thing a given one deals with. Not everything will be directly relevant to what you're trying to do, but odds are there will be something in there you can use at some point.

Next up:
>The Plot Whisperer
kek This one goes into a lot more detail about plot-mapping and timing events correctly. I recommend doing this after reading one or more of the top-level guides, though if you're reasonably confident you could probably also just start with it. It also comes with a book of writing prompts (different book in the same collection), which I recommend actually doing:
>The Plot Whisperer Book of Writing Prompts

Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't call attention to these:
>The Only Grammar Book You'll Ever Need
>Grammar Sucks
>Style and Circumstance
>Roget's Thesaurus of Words for Writers
Grammar is not a super-exciting subject to read about, but if you struggle with it, the grammar books all do a good job of explaining it. I wouldn't say any specific one is better than any of the others, although "Grammar Sucks" is probably the most enjoyable to actually read. The thesaurus is just a good one to have on hand. Disclaimer: the Ezn guide on fimfiction [ https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide ] is also quite good and covers pretty much everything you'll need to know in the way of grammar, and will take less time to read. His non-technical and more subjective advice I can take or leave, but in general it's a good guide. Also, a thesaurus is kind of an outdated tool at this point since you can just google synonyms, but it's still a good idea to have a decent one on hand. Same with some of the dictionaries that are in here.

If you're pretty comfortable with the nuts and bolts of writing and want to try something a little more advanced, this is probably the one in this batch that I've personally gotten the most use out of:
>Write Like Hemingway
Disclaimer: this book references Hemingway a lot. If you don't like Hemingway or don't give a shit about Hemingway or don't know who Hemingway is or don't care who he is, you're gonna have a bad time. This book references many specific stories that he wrote, and in order to know what the hell it's talking about you'll want to also have "The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway" on hand which unfortunately for you I only have in print (no ebook). I think quite a few of his stories are on project gutenberg, though. Anyway, the advice here is more abstract and deals with building technique, but if you want a challenge I'd recommend it.

Also noteworthy:
>101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists
>A Cup of Comfort for Writers
There's not a ton of super-detailed help in here, these are more just tips and tricks that will help with attitude, mindset, etc. 101 habits has a bit of practical advice as well. There are some other books in this collection that are also like that but these were the two that stood out for me. Some of them veer into hippy-esque spiritual territory that may or may not be up your alley (The Tao of Writing is the one I remember being like this).

>The 1-Minute Writer
This one has some decent prompts and exercises you can try.

>The Bibliophile's Devotional
Some good classic book recommendations to thumb through if you're looking for something to read.

The books that are specifically tailored to screenwriting and getting yourself published you can probably ignore unless you're interested in those subjects. The rest are just books about oddball subjects like dealing with writer's block (Write.), setting up a physical space to write in (A Writer's Space), or are specialized dictionaries (the ones titled after the seven deadly sins). These you can skim through at your leisure.
Anonymous
4fbe2ce
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No.368439
368441
>>368438
Top man.
You have no idea how helpful this is.
Cheers.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368440
368453
_f8405ddd-cef7-4e3f-875e-9eea4fbd3a17.jpg
>>368386
>U don't have to do this, you can describe Rave Smite's appearence however u want but attached image to this post is what I imagined for her:
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, Rave Smite is now a penguin with a twelve inch dick.

>U can go total slice-of-life or intense plot focused storytelling if u like. You can do whatever u feel like.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, this collab is now a deep-lore fantasy epic with over 9000 pages of complicated backstory.

>So feel free to crash this plane with no survivors. ^^
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to not crash this plane with all the survivors.

> Also, as there is no deadline for me, there's none for u.
U can't tell me what to do. Just for that, I'm going to try and have this done by October 31st.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368441
>>368439
NP fren, happy to help.
Anonymous
327bc52
?
No.368453
368458 368677
Milo Teaching Starlight about the Glory of Football.png
I love rewriting posts...^^
>>367741
>>367744
<I don't care
>Uhm, why are you back again?
Im in my Sven cycle, where I feel bad over previous things I have said, so let me just clarify this.
I meant that, 'If you don't care for our oponions, why are you back again?'

>>368440
Welp, Ig I'd been told.^^
>1st pic
Which one of your personalities is the Mr. Hyde and who is Dr. Jekyll?
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.368458
368681
_1936b0ba-adc0-4551-ae6d-1ba28987f314.jpg
>>368453
The Mr. Hyde personality is Derpy with her eyes uncrossed.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368677
368680 368681 368758
>>368453
Hey Sven, quick update. I said October 31 and we are now technically past that, but I actually expect I'm close enough to being finished that I'll still come in more or less on time and under budget. I've got about 3500 words done that covers a little over half of what I have outlined, so I'm going to try and power through the rest of it today. If I end up falling asleep I will definitely have it finished sometime tomorrow.
Anonymous
34c1d72
?
No.368680
>>368677
>"3497. 3498. 3499. 3500..."
"Glimglam-kun why don't you take a break," I say as saunter in carrying a tray of steamy dinner. "You been at this for days now. Surely you can-"
>"Don't you get it, Sven-chan?" he shouts out as he stops mid push-up. "I wasn't strong enough!"
>I only catch a glimpse of his clenched teeth behind his crazy, spikey hairdo.
>I gasp and bring meek hand to my lips.
>A fat-ass demon named survivor's guilt weighs down on him.
"Please, let me help you!!!"
>"No. You would only get in the way."
>My fingers go numb, the tray slip out of them and clatter onto the floor spilling its contents across the room.
"You wanna know what I think. I think you act like you know the know but you don't know, you know?"
>Then I turn and run away.
>Glimglam-kun listens to me run away before going back to his training.
>He has a melancholic smile on his lips.
>"Don't worry I'll obtain the power to protect everyone."
>With renewed vigor he pushes one, literally.
>"3501. 3502. 3503. 3504..."
Anonymous
34c1d72
?
No.368681
368683 368903
>>368677
As said before don't worry about it, any outcome is fine.
However, I do look forward to it. >>368458
>>368458
Is that Derpy in R'lyeh?^^
Anonymous
34c1d72
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No.368683
OIG (35).jfif
>>368681
Or I hope u don't stress about is better.
Anonymous
2914126
?
No.368758
368761 368780
>>368677
Tho, I must say. Knowing you put some effort into it, I'm hyped out of my body.
Anonymous
2914126
?
No.368761
368780
>>368758
>some
"so much" more like^^
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368780
368783
>>368758
>>368761
Alright, so a few days later than I said. It's totally on its way though, I swear for realzies this time.
Anonymous
cc5afab
?
No.368783
368884
>>368780
Get away from me! Get away! I don't believe in you anymore, desu!
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.368884
368893
3a203155917bce1c40fa92d46a31da23.jpg
>>368783
Alright, here we go. Sorry about the delay, but I think I did a pretty decent job and the extra time was worth it:
https://hackmd.io/@KrythonOssban/BkjXRn7F2
Anonymous
1f50bfc
?
No.368893
368903
d11ba.png
>>368884
I have read it. I recorded myself reading it for the first time and my unevitable commantary or reation to it. It's mostly just me gushing over how much I love it.

Will figure out how to upload it here, I think.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
457061d
?
No.368902
368905
8fbf6d3b590248e470e80e19d0ffaf9c.jpg
Oh, by the way Nigel. Since we both know perfectly well that you haven't really gone anywhere, and that you probably reload this thread multiple times per day just to see if anyone is talking about you, I guess might as well leave this here for you to find. I did in fact read your latest fimfic opus. Congratulations on your clever ruse. Here I was thinking that I've been critiquing your most recent mediocre work, when all along it was just ChatGPT being mediocre on your behalf, and silly me I couldn't even tell the difference. You've trolled me most expertly. Scrambled eggs all over my face.

I remember at one point I told you that I thought you had a lot of raw creative energy, and that you could potentially turn that energy into something great, if only you could figure out how to harness it and make it work for you rather than against you. While I no longer expect you to ever take steps toward actually doing this, for whatever it's worth I do still believe that same potential is in there somewhere. It's buried under a mountain of bitterness, irrational anger and autism, mind you, but it's there nevertheless. So on that note, I will leave you with this one last piece of serious advice.

You invest almost all of your energy into being angry, and most of it is just petty butthurt stemming from internet drama that you yourself created. You're engaged in a constant one-sided holy war against your various "haters" and adversaries, whether it's me, or Chatoyance, or Vril, or that HC Legend guy, or the Glimmerniggers, or whoever happens to be rustling your jimmies at any given moment. You've elevated these conflicts to the level of some kind of Herculean struggle, but really it's just you behaving like a jackass while a couple of trolls egg you on. This is not only an accurate assessment of your entire five-year history on mlpol.net, but it also explains why you were banned from DeviantArt, FimFiction, Reddit, and whatever other forums have banned you.

If you took even a fraction of the energy you invest into being angry at strangers online and applied it towards one of these phantom "serious" projects you keep alluding to, you might eventually make real progress on your goal. I'm still confused as to what that goal is, mind you; sometimes it sounds like you're trying to develop a game, other times it sounds like you want to write an epic fantasy novel. In any case it doesn't matter; I don't personally care, and I doubt if even you yourself have a clear picture of what you're trying to do. Either way, all I can tell you is that if your ultimate goal is to create something serious and marketable, you've got a long, hard journey ahead of you. Doubly so if you're planning to market a work that is explicitly white nationalist. Seriously, bro; if you think I'm a harsh critic, you should send your half-assed drafts about Nazi lion-men to an actual publisher or literary agent, and hear what they have to say.

Based on what I've seen from you so far, I have little confidence that you're up to the task at all. Not just because you consistently produce low-quality work, but because you don't seem particularly serious about ever trying to get any better. Think about it: 2023 is almost over. That's one whole year of your life. You could have spent that time working on your novel, or your game, or whatever your thing is supposed to be, or at the very least spent it working on some small study-projects that you could have gotten serious feedback on and learned something from. Instead, you chose to spend that time stalking Chatoyance on fimfiction, arguing with random anons on this board, and using ChatGPT to generate low-quality MLP fanfics, apparently for the sole purpose of trolling me into reviewing them, which proves...actually, I'm not even sure what you were trying to prove. That I can't tell the difference between the nonsense you shart out and the nonsense a machine sharts out, I guess. What exactly have you achieved?

Look dude, whatever warped perception you have of me or my motivations, I really don't take any of this too seriously. I write stories for fun, I critique stories for fun, I post on this board for fun. I mess with you because it's fun. I don't expect much recognition for any of it beyond a couple of (You)s and maybe a like or two on fimfic. I'm certainly not trying to be the "second coming of the Angry Video Nerd," or whatever you called me btw, for the last time I don't know who that guy is or why you keep bringing him up. I can keep going back and forth with you like this for as long as you want, because for me this is all just goofing around. However, you're the one with the supposedly lofty goals, and for all your bloviating, you don't seem to be any closer to achieving them now than you were five years ago. Maybe you should take some of the energy you expend arguing with trolls and stalking trannies and divert it towards something positive.

Incidentally, have you ever read Sonichu by Christian Weston Chandler? I think you would like it. It has Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog references up the wazoo, and there are entire story arcs that consist of nothing but the author taking imaginary revenge on people who made fun of him online. I really think you'd enjoy it, as many of its significant themes overlap with the topics you seem to most enjoy writing about. Plus, it's at about your reading level, so it probably wouldn't challenge you too much. Just a little nudge to get you started on your writing journey.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
457061d
?
No.368903
>>368893
Nice, I'm glad you enjoy it. I actually think this story is coming together quite nicely, considering we've just been pulling it out of our asses as we go. I've got some ideas for where it could potentially end up.

>>368681
>Is that Derpy in R'lyeh?^^
Basically, yes. I was having the AI do some 1920s style pulp art involving Derpy and Lovecraftian monsters, in hopes it would generate something I could use as cover art for my NaNo project which I now need to get started on since November is already 1/4 over. I'm not sure if this one works for that purpose, but it's probably my favorite out of the pictures it generated. It looks like a Fritz Lang poster or something.
Anonymous
06c57fc
?
No.368905
>>368902
>for fun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMCYNH1EJTg&ab_channel=JonathanYoung
Anonymous
48465b5
?
No.369066
369090
601963__safe_artist-colon-mayde-dash-m_derpibooru+import_edit_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_unofficial+characters+only_earth+pony_pony_animated_blonde_cute_danci.gif
OIG (134).jfif
6252691__safe_artist-colon-shinodage_imported+from+ponybooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-aryanne_earth+pony_human_pony_aryanbetes_behaving+like+a+dog_blonde_blonde+hair.png
6722650__safe_artist-colon-xppp1n_imported+from+derpibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-aryanne_earth+pony_pony_apron_clothes_female_mare_nazi_oven_solo_squat_swastika.png
jews.png
This: https://stlcc.edu/student-support/academic-success-and-tutoring/writing-center/writing-resources/replacing-to-be-verbs.aspx
is something I been practicing lately. Tho, imo, it's secondary to the substance of ur story (what ur story is actually about). Like a drawing of a woman can be a done in multiple ways but we can all tell that its suppose to be a woman if done comptently, uknow?

Still good stuff tho I tink.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
2b808b4
?
No.369090
369104 370213
>>369066
It's interesting you should bring that up. I actually got some feedback on the last thing I wrote [ >>368186 ] and one of the things I was told is that I was using far too many to-be verbs. It's not a rule I'd ever heard of or anything I'd ever thought about, but now that I've had it pointed out to me it really does make a difference. I wasn't paying super close attention to on my last installment of the collab, since I was mostly focused on trying to get the chapter done. But I think going forward I'm going to try to give everything I write a separate pass to look for this.
Anonymous
7d6f9cf
?
No.369104
FxF ch7 plan.txt
>>369090
^^
Nice. For u I imagine that it will be more useful. I kinda feel like I probably won't apply it much to my writing. It's hard enough as it is, I don't really feel up for putting more on my shoulders. Tho, I have thought about applying your idea of a "second pass" for it, but knowing myself, I probably won't do that anyway, lol.

I also think that I want to prioritize the substance of writing, so like planing, brainstorming, and figuring out the plot rather than the presentation but I do respect the impact it has. I have gotten better at it too ^^, attached is the plan(notes) for my next chapter in our collab.
Anonymous
0a20acf
?
No.370020
>Be Sunset Shimmer.
>Your phone vibrates against your thigh as it rings.
>You look toward at AJ, who takes another peek out the window before turning back to you and gives you a nod, you answer the phone as AJ does a double-check of her rifle.
"Yes, hello?" You say.
>"Do you know what and who that girl you're harboring is?" A feminine voice growls through the phone.
>You look over at Lemon Zest.
>She is chained up and imprisoned in a wooden constructions of beams that AJ built for her.
>Fluttershy had been hand-feeding her but when the phone rang she stopped eating.
>Lemon reads by your look who is on the phone and looks terrified.
"Yes, I do know," you answer back.
>There's a pause on the other end.
>"Mmm-k? There will be a full-moon tonight. What then? Will you let her run rampant or, will you do the right thing?"
>You grimace your face in disgust.
"We're not monsters like you-"
>"Ah, but the people she'll kill tonight are not your responsibility by not doing the hard, but right choice?"
"We have her caged. She can't even move and inch as is."
>Something about the voice on the phone disturbs you but you can't put a finger on it.
>"Hmph. Maybe. So is this your life now?"
>The question took you by surprise.
"What do you mean?"
>"Well, she's cursed for life y'know. Are you gonna check in on her every month for the rest of your life."
"Welllll, I don't know about that." You scratch the back of your neck.
>"Exactly,
A Christmas writefag special
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.370065
370076 370108
Spoilered
Hello friends, it's that time of year that indigestion motivation has struck.
Chuck a word salad (story prompt) at me and I'll write approximately 6,000 characters worth of story (~1k words) each day for one week.
Then we can tenderly brutally rip into it to extract some tasty tasy improvements and amusements.
or chuck one of those Choose Your Own Adventure write prompt things with pre-selected choices.
Anonymous
3d078dd
?
No.370076
370077
>>370065
Sure, tho do promise me u will make time for frens n family on Christmas. ^^

>Princess Flurry Heart brings Anon with her to the Grand Galloping Gala as her plus one.
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.370077
>>370076
Alright.
1/7
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.370086
370091 370175
2545464.jpg
Greetings I am Princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire. Daddy and Mommy finally got me my very own Grand Galloping Gala ticket to go there as my own pony. The enchanted gold says to bring one extra special pony and I can't think of anypony more extra special than Anonymous.
Mommy, Daddy, Aunty, Grammy, Grampy, Grand Aunties and all their friends says so.
Walking up the red carpet to the castle with my plus one that I got to pick on my very own, guests and guards eyes grew wide to marvel at our color coordination. Some too excited by the sweat being dabbed away and calls to freshen up.
At the top getting guests my Auntie Twilight gapped at us. Impeccable choice choosing a swauve colorful ensemble, matching my plus one.
Trotting up to the now short refreshment needing line that has her waiting just for us, "Auntie! I mean, greetings princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria I am princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire and this is the special plus one Anonymous."
He holds up his not-a-hoof waving for a moment, smiling grandly, "Long time no see Purple."
It's then my Aunt says one of the strangest things, "Why are you back?"
Sometimes she gets like this when she misses a checklist. "Auntie, the ticket said to bring the extra special pony and nopony is more extra special than Mr. Anonymous." Still she's on a verge of a Twilight Breakdown, better to stop her Twilighting now.
"You said he was extremely extra special." It's then she snaps and pays attention to our color coordination otherwise why else would she be sweating and her eyes growing even larger. "Repeatedly."
Looming with his specialness over Twilight "Extremely extra special, hunh. You really said that."
Being the extra helpful pony princess I am, I keep going bouncing on my royal hoovesies. "And everypony I've ever met."
That seems to push him away from Twilight like a great gale blowing over a toy boat, "Everypony you've met?"
Tugging on his fancy 'bish pimmpin glove' with magic toward the fun, "Yeah! Everypony! Come on we have to go inside and do gala things. Bye Auntie!"
Auntie makes a whine signaling ending C of her Twilighting as we enter through the giant doorway.
The grand music and all the ponies all talking around what they want to talk about. More importantly all the colors!
Anonymous now keeping pace with you speaks his mind, "So want to introduce me to the ponies who say I'm extremely extra special the most often."
Turning around to face Anon with a scrunch of confusion, "But don't you already know each other?"
He's fighting to not say something then says something entirely different, "Well let's meet up with them it's been a while."
Maybe it's a mistake bringing Anonymous here...
Clapping my hooves we head out, "Let's go find my grand Aunties."
Following, he murmurs. "Them too?"
"We'll do all the gala things and meet up oh that's a good idea!" Finally Anonymous gets in the mood of things and peps up at my words.
Shoes tapping on fine stone flooring, every part dressed up as each pony. None are as dressed up quite like my grand aunties. With both too much and too little. Color matching their regalia and dresses to their hair.
"Grand Aunties!" With they strip down looking at me with fondness.
"Yo sky cheeks." Bare naked, flabbergasted. Quickly they look at each other, making magic sign language too fast to read. Now even more overdressed than before.
Luna quickly goes to hug first, "it's such a joy dear Flurry Heart, but I must go to the watch room." Celestia interjects quickly, "the restroom now sister." Luna strangely instead of biting back agrees, "yes, the restroom not washroom, and a pleasure to see you again Sir Anonymous." Trotting as fast as politely to use the little fillies room. Leaving us and her older sister.
"So the best princess said you called me extremely extra special all the time-" grand aunty's eyes look as if seeing for the first time in amazement "-but let's talk about our first activity." Wow aunty Celestia is shaking in excitement like the banners.
She stops like a pony petrified, "ticket said one extra special pony didn't it-" Grand aunties are real smart it takes all I can to not go bouncing and flying. However she continues redundantly, "and that's an invitation."
She keeps on breaking the flow of conversation, "how did you two meet?"
"Face to face." Anonymous is right, but grand aunty Celestia wants something juicier so she can gossip with all the other old ponies, so I keep going. "It was when I was playing with myself all alone when I saw Anonymous playing with himself all alone." Celestia once again stripping at my words.
Celestia about to shout is interrupted by Anonymous doing one of his not-a-hoof things, "patty cake with an illusion."
"Mhmm. Then we talked about all sorts of stuff and now we're here." Celestia just sighs getting older, banners dead still. "You're our guest..."
He does another not-a-hoof thing. "Sure am hot flanks."
It's my time to shine, "Now everypony did the meet and greet, we can do what I want to do first at the gala." With that Celestia almost looks as she usually does, and Anonymous still looks like Anonymous. "Count the monocles! We'll meet everypony else, but meet back at the dancing area with everypony. Make sure to grand aunty Luna comes too."
We walk away. "Counting monocles?" Oh! Something Anonymous didn't know? "My tutors showed my how to play. I think the fun part is if they match the pony. I've never lost at this game before Anonymous."
He keeps up with me, and I continue, "the cool part is we also keep adding other games and keep track of the conversations we have."
Windows detailing historic events glimmer and reflect off the stone floor, "being early means seeing this view too".
Anonymous
3d078dd
?
No.370091
>>370086
I <3 it
Flurry is so innocent and pure^^
Anonymous
2a0af8c
?
No.370108
>>370065
Well if I no one else requests anything I will. Missed opportunties guys^^

>RGRE: 10/10 stallion is intrested in marely Anonmare bu Anon's no gay, or straight, or whatever...
Anonymous
88d5798
?
No.370175
>>370086
It was great while it lasted. Don't feel bad, I have left projects many times. ^^

>Be Aryanne.
>Eating your lunch while you and your crew listen in on the Queen Fury Heart's patriotic speech for the ultimate sacrifice for the homeland.
>Then suddenly, the door to the bunker is flung open and in rushes comrade, Teabag Fag, before she spins around and locks and bars the door.
"What's happening?" you say as you grab your rifle.
>She scramble to find her own gun as she looks at you with wide eyes.
>"The zebras," she says seemingly unable to comprehend the possibility of her own words, "they are here."
"What! How?"
>But your line of questioning is cut off as door is reduced to nothing but splinters flying through the air.
>You see teabag getting tossed away by the explosion before you take cover under the table.
>You hear shots and hooves following that enter the bunker.
>You see more of your crew meet their end as they ragdoll onto the floor.
>You flip the table over before popping up and taking aim with your rifle.
>The Colt-Lover 69 does the job and repaints the walls with blood splatter from a pair of striped mares.
>These are good zebras, you think as you look at their bodies on the floor but chastise yourself for not worrying about helping your crew.
>You run over to Teabag, hoping that she might still be alive, when you are suddenly tackled and pinned to the wall.
>A bison, another vile creature sworn to the covenant.
>With a knife in her mouth she's about to end you.
>You struggle against her bulk but its to no avail.
>You mind flashes to your sweet little filly at home, Luftkrieg.
>You will never see her again, you realize, and a tear rolls down your cheek.
>...
>A flash of red illuminates the bunker.
>At first your mind went to all those Con-mane films where at the start he shoots the camera man.
>But then you realize that's some unicorn's magic aura's color.
>So crimson.
>An arching hindleg slashes through the air from close t othe ceiling to down and into the head of hte bison.
>Crack!
>The bison's head is twisted and he just drops onto the floor without any fanfare.
>There's a searing burn mark in the shape of a hoof on his cheek.
>You look down at the horseshoes that did this to the bison and find them burning orange.
>You look up and come face to face with the Daymare herself, Fair Star, also known among the zebras of the Savannah as, Blood Oasis.
>A zinc mare with a white mane and red eyes and red jewel in her horn.
"Thank you," you say with tears in your eyes.
>She nods and then Zap! she is gone in another flash of red.
>You burst into movement, first things first: Is Teabag still alive?

Plot practice:
Aryanne in sand bunker-> Zebras break in->about to die->Blood Oasis tps in and destorys them
Anonymous
88d5798
?
No.370176
>Be Nurse Goodheart.
>The endless groaning of the ponies in the long tent had mostly ceased by the night came with it sleep even for the pained if sometimes forced through sleeping spells.
>For most med ponies that worked in camp four, the camp aimed at healthcare for the many casualties of Queen Fury Heart's campaign in the Great Savannah, the night brought with the a most needed sense of peace.
>For you, night and day was the same.
>You were good at your job.
>In two ways:
One, you were just good and usually made the right calls, which made for less stress to begin with cause you always knew what to do;
two, you, some part of you was ashamed to admit it, didn't feel the pain of others, that much at least, anymore, so you didn't care enough to be stressed.
>You been at this job in since the beginning of the war.
>Three whole years.
>At first you felt too much and the job broke youu but there were no respite to you.
>Eventually you overcame it but not without cost.
>No it feels like the job can not longer break you.
>At least you can't imagine how it would anymore.
>You seen ponies die, even because of your own ineptitude.
>You have regrets over that somewhere deep down if you stop but you never stop, but you never run either.
>You are more like a machine that does the specific work it's desgined for than a pony, you feel whenever you have time to reflect.
>You wander amongst the bedded and wounded ponies.
>You see a foal start to spasm.
>It seems you time to a be a pony for today has ended; time to be the machine.

Character Practice:
Goodheart has grown numb to the pains of others to her overexposure to others suffering through her job and the amount she has done during the war.

I pulled these stories out my ass, take htem with a grain of salt. I don't know what I'm talking about lol^^
Anonymous
88d5798
?
No.370179
>Be Funeral Pyre.
>I thinks it been a about a month now, give or take a few days I suppose.
>So much time not breathing normally, not getting suffed with disgusting green goo, and not being stuck upside down in transparent tube.
>You see a changeling take the shape of a foal in front of it's father.
>The changeling had at first pretended to be the foal and had told the stallion a ridiculous story about how Queen Chryssalis was keeping her alive so long as the father produced love for her.
>The love would then take shape of magic and be sucked out of the tube via an organic cable.
>It was clear this drained the stallion of life-energy as well.
>Now days he'd caught on to the changelings tricks and so he raged at the foal, still though it was his foals body.
>He was also quite frail at this point.
>You had been more lucky.
>The changelings had no background one you and had therefore struggled to prod your love.
>You had therefore lived longer than others that had eventually been absorbed into the cable completely.
>Still, you felt your life-force being drained day by day.
>Even more luckily for you, you have brought something with you when you were captured and you'd finally used it to repay them.
>You had GoodHeart to thank for the surgery and daymare's magic tinkering for your little gift.
>With enough focus and intent, your will made your body glow in magical circles.
>Nearby sadistic, arrogant, torturer changelings looked up for the first time since you got here with a look of fear.
>A whole section of that hive burnt down.

Setting Practice:
About how the changelings wring as much love as they possibly can from their subjects.
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.370182
370193
Good news I'm still here, bad news there's nothing to post at the moment. Been caught up in other stuff.
Anonymous
b33863e
?
No.370193
>>370182
It's nice to have you back friend^^
Anonymous
4d2f523
?
No.370213
370239
6749606__safe_artist-colon-blex_imported+from+derpibooru_trixie_oc_oc-colon-anon_human_pony_unicorn_animated_annoyed_clothes_dialogue_distracted_doodle_duo_earb.webm
>>369090
Btw, GG, currently working on ch 7 of our collab tho I don't know when I'll be done.
Just so u know I haven't abandon it^^
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
2b808b4
?
No.370239
>>370213
No worries, take your time.
Anonymous
a7016e4
?
No.370354
billions must watch MLP.png
>>362528
heres epubs too

files.catbox.moe/ltjweu.epub
files.catbox.moe/lsp6cd.epub
files.catbox.moe/e41yja.EPUB
Anonymous
918612d
?
No.370729
370730
2636761__safe_artist-colon-ponerino_twilight+sparkle_pony_unicorn_g4_chemicals_clothes_colored_do+not+eat_female_food_levitation_magic_maid_maid+headdress_maidl.jpg
silica-gel-do-not-eat-congratulations-youve-escaped-the-simulation-welcome-to-the-real-world-comic.jpg
So, I'd like to try my hand at writing on request but as always I'm not promising anything. It will be a short story.

So feel free to give me a request and I'll write a short story (probably like 1k) of it.
Anonymous
fdab382
?
No.370730
370732 370733
2254666__safe_female_pony_oc_oc+only_pegasus_earth+pony_filly_zebra_pegasus+oc_blank+flank_zebra+oc_oc-colon-filly+anon_artist-colon-shinodage_oc-col.png
1374724__safe_female_pony_oc_clothes_oc+only_simple+background_pegasus_smiling_earth+pony_transparent+background_cute_dialogue_filly_text_cutie+mark_.png
>>370729
Write a story about Anonfilly being sent to Luftkrieg's summer camp, where the two of them do fun activities related to Hoofler Youth. Could feature them doing volunteer work fighting fires with Firexe as a reference to Artur Axmann. Maybe some fun games like "chase the griffon". Has a potential to be a very wholesome story about fascist principles and community service.
Anonymous
918612d
?
No.370732
370734
6869801__safe_artist-colon-gsuus_imported+from+twibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-aryanne_human_pony_classroom_clothes_comic_dialogue_geography_image_na.png
6869800__safe_artist-colon-gsuus_imported+from+twibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-aryanne_pony_clothes_dancing_female_image_mare_music_nazi_nazipone_png_sieg+heil_sol.png
6089183__safe_artist-colon-shinodage_imported+from+ponybooru_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_oc-colon-kyrie_oc-colon-luftkrieg_earth+pony_pegasus_pony_armband_clothes_coat_.png
6405564__safe_artist-colon-pestil_imported+from+twibooru_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-kyrie_oc-colon-luftkrieg_pegasus_pony_bow_brushing+mane_female_filly_hair+bow_image.png
2874145__safe_female_pony_oc_mare_clothes_simple+background_pegasus_earth+pony_smiling_alicorn_open+mouth_wings_eyes+closed_meme_filly_glasses_spread.png
>>370730
Here it is:

>"Hurry Anon!" Luftkrieg, a white pegasus filly with a blonde mane and no cutie mark, shouted. "We don't wanna miss mom's morning call."
>Be Anonfilly, a green a earth pony filly dressed in a in stupid light brown uniform of the Hoofler youth and so is your friend Luftkrieg.
"Yes, indeed. Another day of indoctrination and wagecucking without the actual wages," you reply before yawning.
>Luftkrieg keeps running ahead of you before having to run back because she's gotten too far away.
>"Oh, please what's wrong with learning about history? Besides, Hoofler said that-"
"One day everypony will suck my dick."
>Luftkrieg giggles.
>"Oh come on! One one sucks Hoofler's dick, he was just a great pony."
>The two of you turned the corner; and find Aryanne, Luftkrieg's mother, teaching a group of fillies the romane salute.
>"Hail victory!" shouts the group of foals but Aryanne shouts "Hail Hoofler!"
>You give Luftkrieg a look and she looks away with a blush on her face.
>"Well, okay. I'll give you that one but mom is just really dedicated to him that's all. And why wouldn't she Hoofler is well, perfect husbando material."
>That's when Aryanne spots you.
>"Oh, Luftkrieg und Anonymous, ich been waiting for you to join us. Arbeit macht frie Anonymous, sind zee bereit?" asked Aryanne with a big smile on her face.
"Indeed I do know the truth: I don't know germane. But I have a sneaking suspicion that you're threatening me with work."
>Aryanne shone like the black sun.
>So not only did you have to work at home, on sweet apple acers, but also here?
>Why weren't you reincarnated as Fluttershy's foal instead of AJ's?
>It would have been the best thing, getting pampered by her all day.
>She would probably not have made you spend most of the summer on this camp (except for the time of the harvest, just a conincidence poy).
>"Oh, Anon. You can't sit in all day playing videogames that aunt Applejack told me you do. You don't wanna grow up to become a burden on society, do you?" Luftkrieg chirps.
>You give a stoney-face of annoyance to show her what you think of her words, then you say:
"Weed lmao."
>She still seems happy you're here.

---

>So to convert you to the ways of pony national socialism, they decided to play game called 'Chase the Griffon' and somehow you became the griffon.
>Yeeah...
>You, being chased by a group of fundemtalistic foals, will probably convert you anytime now.
>Meanwhile...
"Aaaaaaaaahhh!" you scream as the horde of nazi foals chase you through nature.
>You get tackled to the group and subsequently caught by the one honorary pony at the camp, the zebra Zala.
"Oh my Celestia! Help me, I'm being attacked by a zigger. She wants to eat my heart to cure me in her queer woodoo ways."
>The rest of the fillies has catch up to you two and start laughing out loud.
>At first, you feel like doing a 'hoof?' pump but then you see Zala laughing along.
>Then you hear one of the fillies say the dreaded, "She doesn't know."
>What the fuck is this?
>Ugh, whatever. Enough of this.
"Get the buck away from me ziggah, you smell like manure, is that what you're ugly plot stripes are?"
>Everyone goes silent.
>You smirk.
>That's right, get fucked. There's still one mare in Equestria that won't stand the striped menace.
>Zala's eyes grow... Full of love?
>She embraces you tightly where you lay and shouts:
"Come onn Everponee, märe pile."
>And soon you're lay at the bottom of a pile of snuggling and laughing fillies.
"Hope pony ZOG kills you all," you manage to wheeze out.

---

>"Ooo oo, it's Fireaxe, we gotta help her. A building is burning," Luftkrieg says
"Good riddance, why should I care for this community? Just because I hate ziggers doesn't mean that I like ponies. Maybe next time don't be a retard and set your house on fire," you say.
>"No, Anon. I'm not gonna do this right now. Ponies are in danger. Come along, now!"
>An hour later.
>You and Luftkrieg managed to save a foal while Fireaxe was busy saving some other pony.
>No one died because the Hoofler Youth's assistance.
>The small little baby filly, the two of you saved is being embraced by both her parents in moment of pure joy.
>You blink a few times trying and failing to keep the tears from rolling down your face.
>Luftkreig also has tear tracks on her somewhat dirty face but also smug smile directed at you.
>"You're crying?" she says.
"Becuase I caught shit in my eyes," you reply.
>"Ah-haa, we had masks."
"Yeah, and look at you face."
>"But I know, why I'm crying and it's not cuz o something in my eye."
"Well, count yourself lucky then. I certainly don't give a buck that... That... That little foal almost- Ah-oo-ugh."
>Your face contorts as your remember how close it was.
>It's hard to hold it together.
>Suddenly the downpour rupts and you can't stop.
>A wing is draped over your back.
>A wet cheek is pressed next to yours.
>"Don't worry. I'm here for you. We are here for each other."
Anonymous
918612d
?
No.370733
370734
>>370730
Hope it was to your satisfaction.

I still like to get more requests. So if anyone has a request for a short story for tomorrow, then please tell.
Anonymous
87cb4dd
?
No.370734
370735
>>370732
>>370733
Excellent work, fren! Excellent portrayal of all of the involved characters (I enjoyed the inclusion of Zala). Anonymous definitely learned from this state-mandated friendship indoctrination.
Anonymous
918612d
?
No.370735
>>370734
Ty so much. ^^
Anonymous
ca00250
?
No.370741
370742 370753
I could definitely go for another request btw, so frens if u got any then don't be shy.^^
Anonymous
ca00250
?
No.370742
370743
>>370741
I think the reason I ask is that: Whenever I get to decide on what to write I keep second-guessing my choice for a premise and the story never takes off.
Anonymous
ca00250
?
No.370743
370744
>>370742
dat and attention^^
Anonymous
ca00250
?
No.370744
>>370743
Tho, technically I think I should try to find the passion to write for it's own sake.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.370753
370772 371821
1293760__safe_sonata+dusk_adagio+dazzle_aria+blaze_pony_cute_human_food_floppy+ears_heart_ponified_prone_looking+up_size+difference_micro_hand_eyes+o.png
>>370741
I actually had an idea that might be fun to try here. One Anon posts an image with no context and the next Anon writes a short story or green about that image. If the last post in the chain was an image, you write a green. If the last post in the chain was a green, post an image. in all honesty this idea should probably be its own thread, but I'm willing to try it here for a bit before spinning it off

Anyway, here is the first image if anyone wants to take a crack at it.
Anonymous
c58a781
?
No.370772
370796 370805
>>370753
Cool. So the idea is that someone reply's to this green with an image of their own?

>Be Anon.
>You found three tiny horses one day when you were out one a walk.
>They were small like mice but expressed emotions like humans.
>Emotions such as fear, sorrow, and despair.
>You first meeting was short as they immidately turned and ran.
>You'd probably be able to catch up if they didn't disappear in under some bushes.
>As they disappeared out of sight, your mind kinda quickly went from 'woah, what is that?' to 'Did that really happen?'
>You hunched down and tried to coax the creatures, you thought you saw, out of the bushes with sweet words.
>They didn't reappear again, making you again question your sanity.
>Despite the odds, you still decided tear up the sandwich you'd been eating and drop the crumbs where the horses had been when you saw them first.
>You return the next day and hunch down next to the bush to see if you could find them.
>You couldn't so, you ripped another sandwich apart again and left it there.
>On the third day, your returned again, full with worry that the tiny horse might have meet somekind of predator or that you indeed had gone mad.
>When you hunch down at the bushes, you don't have to sit long before the one of the three horses, the blue one, approaches you.
>You can see the two others further in the back filled with fear as the blue one moves towards you tentively.
>You don't move more than when you sit down.
>Then you decide to take it even further by lying down on your back.
>This gives the blue horse the courage to move next to you and nudge your side.
>As you sense this, you peek over at her and give her a gentle smile.
>Her face lit up like a rocket and she hops ontop of you where she continues to bounce.
>You laughed and reach out a hand, still carefully mind you, to pet her.
>Before you even reached her, she brushed up against your hand.
>Then you felt a nudge to your side.
>You turned and saw the other two ponies.
>The yellow one looks as you with chesire cat smile, meanwhile the purple one looks away with sour face and little 'hmph.'
>...
>Now, it's been about two weeks since the trio moved into your apartment.
>Things have settled.
>You have come to learn about the trio.
>The yellow one is clearly the leader who is also quite the proud tiny horsie.
>Then you got the purple one that you suspect might be a tsundere but without the dere, you would have said if it wasn't for yesterday when she joined you and the blue one in bed.
>And finally the blue one.
>She's the happiest one.
>Always bouncy, always smiling.
>While you have made their own sleeping places for them, she prefers to sleep next to you on a pillow of her own.
>You also notice how intelligent they are.
>Once you were reading your cockbook with the blue one and once she understood waht it was, she started to turn the pages to the best of her ability a tiny horse can till she arrived at the recipe for tacos, which she pointed at.
>So you made her a tiny taco for a tiny horse.
>Life is just peachy.
Anonymous
df646b7
?
No.370796
370799 370831 370962
b46aefihq_-3xwebfofuzgahxywhfyws_p-aygpvpg8.png
>>370772
Look at the image or title. OK?
Anonymous
51177fa
?
No.370799
370805
>>370796
Sure. Tho, I'm busy today and tomorrow so it will take a little longer than the last two.
atlas
!!TfPnjW/K.2
8b261ed
?
No.370805
370831
>>370799
>>370772
nani?
Anonymous
ca051c7
?
No.370831
370855
>>370796
I'm back on working on it now.
>>370805
aww atlas<3
I'm addicted to hoers puss now and it's all your fault. You need to take responsibility.
atlas
!!TfPnjW/K.2
8b261ed
?
No.370855
370962
>>370831
I will do no such thing
Anonymous
2011c6d
?
No.370962
370973
>>370796
So what happened was that I wrote one ver. thought it was kinda meh. Thought about the premise for a while and came up with a really neat way to tackle the premise imo. but it requires a bit more work.

I wanna do the best ver. but I also wanna finish up my ch. in my collab with GG, so I'll do that first and then return to this premise. ^^

>>370855
^^
Anonymous
df646b7
?
No.370973
371180
>>370962
That sounds like a (ultra/very) meticulous ghostwriter,With a high/strong (towards exaggerated) sense of responsibility, ethics and morals. With low professionalism and esteem(/inferiority complex, maybe). In any case, don't be in a big hurry and don't forget.
Anonymous
1325001
?
No.371180
371189 371202
Sadly it seems real life is getting in my way and my collab ch. will be delayed for probably two months, GG. Just so u know.

>>370973
Yh, maybe. I find it hard to correctly identify myself but I do think your descriptions fits well.
Anonymous
df646b7
?
No.371189
>>371180
OK. I can wait until , April and, just don't forget. I hope your collaboration is a shock. You don't give details about it? Secret? Anyway thanks for telling me.
Anonymous
1325001
?
No.371198
371202
"My best advice about writer’s block is: the reason you’re having a hard time writing is because of a conflict between the GOAL of writing well and the FEAR of writing badly. By default, our instinct is to conquer the fear, but our feelings are much, much, less within our control than the goals we set, and since it’s the conflict BETWEEN the two forces blocking you, if you simply change your goal from “writing well” to “writing badly,” you will be a veritable fucking fountain of material, because guess what, man, we don’t like to admit it, because we’re raised to think lack of confidence is synonymous with paralysis, but, let’s just be honest with ourselves and each other: we can only hope to be good writers. We can only ever hope and wish that will ever happen, that’s a bird in the bush. The one in the hand is: we suck. We are terrified we suck, and that terror is oppressive and pervasive because we can VERY WELL see the possibility that we suck. We are well acquainted with it. We know how we suck like the backs of our shitty, untalented hands. We could write a fucking book on how bad a book would be if we just wrote one instead of sitting at a desk scratching our dumb heads trying to figure out how, by some miracle, the next thing we type is going to be brilliant. It isn’t going to be brilliant. You stink. Prove it. It will go faster. And then, after you write something incredibly shitty in about six hours, it’s no problem making it better in passes, because in addition to being absolutely untalented, you are also a mean, petty CRITIC. You know how you suck and you know how everything sucks and when you see something that sucks, you know exactly how to fix it, because you’re an asshole. So that is my advice about getting unblocked. Switch from team “I will one day write something good” to team “I have no choice but to write a piece of shit” and then take off your “bad writer” hat and replace it with a “petty critic” hat and go to town on that poor hack’s draft and that’s your second draft. Fifteen drafts later, or whenever someone paying you starts yelling at you, who knows, maybe the piece of shit will be good enough or maybe everyone in the world will turn out to be so hopelessly stupid that they think bad things are good and in any case, you get to spend so much less time at a keyboard and so much more at a bar where you really belong because medicine because childhood trauma because the Supreme Court didn’t make abortion an option until your unwanted ass was in its third trimester. Happy hunting and pecking!" - Dan Harmon

I saw this while taking a break and surfing the web on our arch nemesis site (Reddit, https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/8djsq3/how_do_you_get_over_writers_block/ ) Maybe we can have this post be exorcised somehow.

Anyway, I thought that while the quote is bit overwritten for my tastes, I think the advice could be solid. What u guys think? ^^
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
?
No.371202
371204 371267
>>371198
>What u guys think?
I think it's inspiring. If Dan Harmon can be considered a writer, there's hope for literally anyone.

>>371180
np take your time
Anonymous
e6512fe
?
No.371204
>>371202
Topkek.
Anonymous
25561b4
?
No.371267
>>371202
^^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM&ab_channel=Benjamin%E2%80%99sEnglish%C2%B7engVid
Happened to watch this. You don't need to, to get my points but I thought I add it in my post as a point of reference.

Here's an unsorted list of thoughts:

So in the video, the presenter goes through a list of sentences and 'improves' them by turning them from 'telling' to 'showing' sentences.

>The stadium was full. <-telling v.
<The sound from the stadium was deafening.<-showing v.
I don't think this first sentence is a problem. I will get into it later, but I think that statements of facts don't need this show-treatment. Or, maybe I'll get into it right now: I feel like sentences that are vague are the ones that should be improved upon by the showing-method. So for example, he has another example that goes like this:
>It was hot. <- telling v.
<The sun melted the ice-cream, or something, etc. <-showing v.
which I think is indeed improved by having a showing version, because, while we know how a hot day is, there's a difference between a hot day on the beach and one in the desert.

So to be more precise in one should use the rule, "show, don't tell."

However, while we're on this hot example, I'll comment that I think it's easy to fall into what I think is a bit of a trap. Well, it depends. If you want you're story to take a bit of a life on it's own when you write it, it's not a problem then but I feel there's a bit of a common problem that arises here, especially for people starting out implementing this technique.

It reminds me of how a lot of people will emphasize the importance of having a catching hook. This is an advice I also think can be detrimental to newer writers.

The problem arises in that one either characterizes, well, the character in not desired ways or as with the hook, the story in an unwanted direction.

Idk, why I struggle to explain this in simpler terms but for an example, if you're story is a high-stakes drama with a grave-mood, then starting it something like this:
>You might be wondering how I found myself crossing the oceanic border towards the Alaskan mainland followed by hot pursuit by the Alaskan coastguard, with cocaine smuggled up my ass.
will create problems with consistency with clashing themes if the story then continues in a very serious and tense tone, or vice versa.

It's easy to wanna rewrite the sentence,
>He was stressed. <-which was another one of his examples.
into something exaggerated. I have done this and I think this is one of the things that make people write melodrama. Because, it's vague so we try to be more precise but in doing so we decide on what "stressed" means here.

Is it,
>He was puking, spinning around, and tore out his hair till he was left bald.
or,
>He tapped his fingers on his desk while waiting for her.
?

There's also the other aspect, that whatever we go with above defines our character going forward and subtle details do after all matters.

So a question then becomes, are discovering who are character is, or do we know who they are?

That's about it, tell me what you thought? ^^
Anonymous
25561b4
?
No.371315
371318
AdobeStock_472713009-1200x900.jpeg
puppy-socialization.jpg
Golde33443.jpg
>There were once four puppies that arrived at crossroad.
>The wolf-like puppy told the others that he felt strongly for the left path.
>The one with the big snout, disagreed with his feelings, and therefore wanted to go down the opposite path.
>The one with the flappy, hanging ears decided it be best to stop here as not to walk down a wrong path.
>The three puppies set off on their own paths.
>The last, and fourth puppy, a golden and fluffy one, set off after them.
>He didn't know the path whatsoever but he didn't wanna lose either of his friends.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.371318
371322 371324
>>371315
>>The last, and fourth puppy, a golden and fluffy one, set off after them.
Which one did he set off after? Only two of the puppies actually went anywhere, and they both went in different directions.
Anonymous
c0b5c09
?
No.371322
>>371318
Both, the story doesn't state which one he goes after first, it's more that his goal is to bring them together again.
Ty for reading. ^^
Anonymous
c0b5c09
?
No.371324
371328
>>371318
Do you think there is a more clear way to write this?
Anonymous
66630e5
?
No.371328
371537 371538
>>371324
Not him, but I might say
>The fourth and last puppy, golden and fluffy, set off to reunite them.
Anonymous
4d0f5dc
?
No.371537
>>371328
Thanks for the input. I like your suggestion, though, something in the past, when I first read your post, still wants something else.

Maybe, I don't think it's subtle enough, or something idk.
Anonymous
4d0f5dc
?
No.371538
>>371328
>unite
was the missing verb tho
Y U Spin Tale?
Anonymous
b728a30
?
No.371796
371840 371843
6911997__safe_artist-colon-melodylibris_imported+from+derpibooru_fluttershy_pegasus_pony_cute_feather_female_floppy+ears_flowing+mane_flowing+tail_lake_looking+.jpg
6912177__safe_imported+from+derpibooru_roseluck_earth+pony_pony_ai+content_ai+generated_angry_behaving+like+a+cat_collar_cute_fangs_fluffy_generator-colon-pony+.png
6909391__safe_artist-colon-icey_imported+from+derpibooru_autumn+blaze_kirin_pony_awwtumn+blaze_bed+mane_cute_daaaaaaaaaaaw_female_kirinbetes_looking+at+you_one+.png
6908445__safe_artist-colon-appulman_artist-colon-aprilfools_artist-colon-boneappleteeth_artist-colon-cutehorseprions_artist-colon-duckgoblin_artist-colon-mareti.png
I never got to watching this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo40-m03WVg&ab_channel=CapturedinWords , before I started to discuss with myself what I thought of it. I was satisfied with what I came up with so, I'd thought I share it. I also want to write it down somewhere I'd find later.

I don't like the idea of "don't"s in writing. On that note , I don't like the word "writing" or to describe authors as "writers". I prefer "storyteller" and I think the distinction between them matters. This is a tangent though.

Anyway, "don't"s. This Canadian >>>/go/3503 → once compared baking to writing by saying that you don't bake a cake with a recipe that only tells you what not to do but one that tells you what to do.

This lead my thoughts to the idea that the ideal of a flawless story can hurt the creative process. I find that it fits well with my experience.

How does this happen? I spend time fixing the story's flaws, rather than use that time on it's merits.

Which leads me to the point: Why spin a tale? Probably because there's something I want to express, say, or like to see. I want this story to exist for a reason.

Let's say that reason is to see a bunch of cool action scenes. If that's the case, then I probably have some concrete ideas for scenes. Should I then focus on how this scene came to be, logistically, or focus on writing the scene first? I think the: The scene.

Yes, a scene without a reason for it's existence isn't good. However, starting with the justification for it kills your passion for the project, at least it does for me.

I will add here that, the "do"s can be just as detrimental to the creative process as rules that tell you what to avoid. As in, if we followed the advice that characterization is a always a plus. However, if I force characterization on character who's only purpose in my story is to fight in an action scene, I'm not using my time on what makes me passionate about my story.

I think this is why it's easy to get stuck in genre-trappings -- I feel a need to fulfill expectations when it comes to agreed-upon writing rules.

I think that was about it. Tell me what you thought.

p.s. I used "I" in of "you" for examples deliberately to as an attempt to be more humble and not distance myself from the subject matter, if you wonder why. I'm not sure if it makes sense yet but maybe in the future I will.

p.p.s. What's this about a collab in the pic I found. Does anyone know?
Anonymous
b728a30
?
No.371817
371818 371840
6914019__safe_artist-colon-coypuppy_imported+from+derpibooru_princess+cadance_shining+armor_alicorn_pony_unicorn_duo_exploitable+meme_horn_meme.jpg
6912148__safe_artist-colon-aburzt_imported+from+derpibooru_dj+pon-dash-3_vinyl+scratch_pony_unicorn_blue+background_female_glasses_headphones_horn_mare_simple+b.jpg
6778041__safe_artist-colon-kabayo_imported+from+derpibooru_fluttershy_oc_oc-colon-anon_human_pegasus_pony_90s+grunge+fluttershy_black+and+white_blushing_cute_du.jpg
6912789__safe_artist-colon-opalacorn_imported+from+derpibooru_earth+pony_pony_blaze+28coat+marking29_chest+fluff_coat+markings_daffodil+and+daisy+sandwich_facia.jpg
6913998__safe_artist-colon-blahlahblash_imported+from+derpibooru_daring+do_big+cat_pegasus_pony_tiger_clothes_drool_female_forest_licking_mare_nature_one+eye+cl.png
I think I want to change my way of writing. I struggle with writing, I think. I have two problems.

I struggle with the language barrier and with overwriting.

My struggles with the language barrier includes: A lack of vocabulary, faulty grammar, and spelling errors.

Overwriting is a bit more vague in my mind. I have a strong imagination and I can sometimes create problems in my writing. It's that I see the scene so clearly in my mind that I can't help but to write down unnecessary details about the scene.

I guess I struggle with presentation as well. I use too many redundant words or phrases. For example, I would probably write, "He fell down," instead of "He fell."

Sometimes, I think I write a too much words for something that only needs a few.

Like, if I were to use the phrase, "a house" in a sentence, I don't think I'd be able to leave it as such without at least describing it's color.

So something like this:

>He cycled past a bunch of houses.

I'd probably write this instead:

>He pedaled in a steady rhythm past a bunch of blue houses with climbing vegetation sticking to their porches' fences.

I'm gonna try to write more sentences like the first one rather than the latter.

I have kinda decided that since I struggle with these aspects of communication, I'll try to prioritize clarity and simplicity.

This is also why I'm much more wary of my sentences. I don't want them to become too long. I find that it's easy to loose track of it's inner workings then. However, I know that sentence variety is good since otherwise, the reader experiences too much stop and start.

Anyway, now you know /mlpol/. Ty for listening to my TED Talk. Feel free to tell me what you think.
Anonymous
b728a30
?
No.371818
>>371817
After reading through my post, I realized some things. One was how many grammar problems a post I thought was flawless had. Another, that the amount of description a subject gets in your story indicates it's importance.

I think that's what pacing, partly, is. To not get bogged down with the things that aren't vital to the story and instead focus on the ones that are.
Anonymous
df646b7
?
No.371821
371841 371843
>>370753
Do you still do that thread?
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
2b808b4
?
No.371840
372759
1705956797858081.jpg
>>371796
>>371817

Video is actually pretty solid. Several of these points are things I've pointed out repeatedly in reviews I've done, so I feel a bit vindicated. If ever I'm in doubt, I at least know that I'm as qualified to give writing advice as some numale on YouTube.

> I don't like the word "writing" or to describe authors as "writers". I prefer "storyteller" and I think the distinction between them matters.
Definitely two separate but interrelated crafts. Writing is the act of constructing a written document, and it's mostly a technical process. Storytelling, or maybe "storycraft" would be a better word for it, is a more nuanced skill that is harder to teach or explain.

Crafting a story is about not only putting the events of the story together, but understanding who your characters are and why they are doing what they are doing. I generally agree with you that storycraft is the more important of the two, as it determines whether or not the story speaks to the reader or moves them. Writing is the act of communicating it to the reader. Someone who can write well but can't put a good story together isn't likely to move anyone regardless of how prettily they can write.

That Chatoyance Kafka thing I reviewed earlier is a good example of this. By Fimfic standards, Chatoyance is actually a pretty good writer, but his storycraft leaves a lot to be desired. His characters were mostly bland and forgettable, the story wasn't all that interesting or moving, and it suffered from pacing problems.

That said, I wouldn't say that writing should be entirely discounted. Even if you have a great story with great characters and you can see every scene clearly inside your head, if you can't communicate it to people in language they can understand, you'll never be able to make the audience see what you see.

Rainmetall is a good example of this issue. The author clearly had something epic in mind, but between the ESL and the bizarre formatting, it was just too damned hard to understand. Most of his vision was lost in translation.

The ideal is to have both skills, but if you're going to be strong in one and weak in the other, being proficient at storycraft and deficient at writing is better than the other way around.

>I struggle with the language barrier and with overwriting.
>My struggles with the language barrier includes: A lack of vocabulary, faulty grammar, and spelling errors.
To be perfectly honest, this is why I let you slide on a lot of things that I would hammer other authors over. As I've said before, you have a pretty good instinct for building a story, you mostly just struggle with actually writing it out. Quite a bit of this is probably due to ESL. I agree that you'd probably be better off using simple language that conveys what's happening, rather than trying to get too fancy. However:

>>He cycled past a bunch of houses.
>I'd probably write this instead:
>>He pedaled in a steady rhythm past a bunch of blue houses with climbing vegetation sticking to their porches' fences.
and
> if we followed the advice that characterization is a always a plus. However, if I force characterization on character who's only purpose in my story is to fight in an action scene, I'm not using my time on what makes me passionate about my story.
Something to keep in mind here is that sometimes these details do matter. The important skill you'll want to develop is learning to sense which details are important enough to include. Sometimes the color of the houses or the type of vegetation are important to the setting.

For instance, in Absalom, Absalom Faulkner spends a lot of time talking about wisteria, and climbing vines on the sides of the plantation house, and shit like that. The little details don't matter to the plot, but they do help paint a picture of the natural environment of the American South, which actually is essential to the story.

Likewise with characters. If a character just fills a perfunctory role in a single scene, he probably doesn't need any serious characterization, and it would be a waste of time and space trying to cook up an elaborate backstory for him. However, it's worth keeping in mind that the character is still a distinct personality, and that for this imaginary person, the moment he appears in your story is the culmination of his entire life up until that point. Evil Ninja A might serve no role in the story other than to throw a few punches for Anon to deflect before getting knocked unconscious and tossed off the roof. However, he has a distinct personality and a past, and all of that factors into why he is where he is, and why he is trying to use his sick Ninja skills to try and beat Anon into submission. Thinking about your characters in this way and trying to understand them will actually make it easier to write them in a more simplified way: if you know exactly who Evil Ninja A really is, then you should instinctively know what he will do in the story and thus won't need to spend any serious page space explaining his actions.

It's worth noting that, while this technically has to do with execution, it's a storycraft concept more than a writing concept.

As an aside, one of the things I've been trying to work on recently is developing a distinct narrative voice in my stories, instead of just narrating events. For instance, the last thing I did on Fimfic is a story told by an old pony looking back on a formative event that happened when he was young. The events of the story would play out the same one way or the other, but the way it's told adds an interpretive layer that otherwise wouldn't be there. The older version of the character is able to reflect on these events and see them in a way that his younger self wouldn't have been able to at the time, thus the narrative voice is actually part of the story.

As another aside, I've resumed work on The Muffins of Madness, and I'm trying to do something similar with narrative voice in that one.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
2b808b4
?
No.371841
371843
>>371821
I forgot all about it honestly, but I will go ahead and do that.
Anonymous
2b808b4
?
No.371843
>>371821
>>371841
>>371842 →

>>371796
>canadian
heh, I forgot all about the Hoarse Fucker saga, but that was an absolute masterpiece. I hope that anon is still around here somewhere.
Anonymous
51177fa
?
No.371922
371923
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urr55rAreWc&ab_channel=Adam%E2%80%99sEnglishLessons%C2%B7engVid
This is one of my go to videos for when I need to freshen up on my basic understanding of english grammar. This video is also the source I first learned the concepts that are brought up in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v4R2ZcxPlA&t=204s&ab_channel=TerribleWritingAdvice
It's classic. While I haven't gone off the deep end (or maybe I have, hmm), I think it's human nature or rather the ego that causes on to exhibit the same or similar behavior as shown in the video.

Now, do I recommend the rest of the channel. Mostly, tho I disagree with certain takes like fridging (tl:To kill of close female character to motivate the protagonist) being a problem. I see it more as proof that woman matter more than men since if the hero's friend instead of woman died then, then who literally cares? Can you fuck your friend? No. Q.E.D ;)
But maybe there's more to it that I'm not considering.

So yh, I just felt like posting these videos since I think they are good sources of writing advice.
Anonymous
254a5c6
?
No.371923
371924
>>371922
>I disagree with certain takes like fridging (tl:To kill of close female character to motivate the protagonist) being a problem. I see it more as proof that woman matter more than men since if the hero's friend instead of woman died then, then who literally cares?
I haven't watched the video you're referencing so I'm not sure what exactly he says, but if you're going to kill someone off to motivate the protagonist, it doesn't necessarily have to be a female or a love interest, the death of anyone close to the protag will have the same effect.

Take Hamlet. His entire motivation is avenging the death of his father, to the point where he spends most of the play brooding angstily about it. Meanwhile, his love interest just kind of gets slapped around until she eventually suicides, and Hamlet gives basically no fucks.
Anonymous
51177fa
?
No.371924
>>371923
>it doesn't necessarily have to be a female or a love interest, the death of anyone close to the protag will have the same effect.
I agree.
I think this is more like, you know, showing the audience a villain is evil by having him kill a puppy. Kinda of a shortcut.
I haven't read Hamlet but thanks for the interesting take.
Anonymous
4ad2e83
?
No.371941
372078
4b2.jpg
7b5.jpeg
Here are two excerpts from story concepts that I sometimes fantasize about making. I would like some feedback on their quality, specifically their clarity. Do you understand what is going on in the scene, except for contextual details like who Madoka is and such? Thanks in advance.

---

Madoka spun on her left leg, ducked her torso forward, and sent a spinning high-kick towards Junko's head.

Junko's expression didn't change, her scowl remained, as she calmly stepped out of range of Madoka's attack.

Instead she took a long step forward with her left foot and followed up that movement with her right palm, planting it in Madoka's belly and sending her flying.

Madoka's back bounced against the ground and knocked the air out of her lunges. Her momentum caused her to roll passed the point of her impact. Twigs got stuck in her hair and painfully scraped her scalpe and pull her hairs strands' bottoms. She got dirt in her mouth and spat several times to clean herself of the taste.

She had ended up on her back so to get back up on her feet she began by pulling her legs to her and rolling up into a ball while lying on her neck and shoulders. Then like spring being released, she uncoiled and pushed off with her arms and abs. Her legs arched in the air as she jumped and she landed upright on her feet.

Madoka returned to her defensive stance. She'd been punished for hard-swinging, she realized that. So now she decided she would change her approach. She'd poke and prod till she found and opening in Junko's defense and then swing hard.

A small amount of surprise showed itself on Junko's face. She'd expected the Ghoul to charge at her again, mindlessly but instead it almost seemed like she'd learned from her mistake and adapted to it.

She didn't like it. Junko prefered her ghouls to be emtionally off-center. So she stuck her tongue out in combo with a condecending grimace and gave the middle-finger to the ghoul.

Seeing this hateful expression from her mother, directed at her made Madoka pull back for a moment. Junko saw this subtle movement and was pussled on a subconcious level. Usually, the ghouls she fought would lose themselves to rage after she taunted them not cower.

Madoka's shock only lasted for a moment though, then she relaxed. Her mother had told her about this trick afterall. She knew this.

She slapped her chest with her hands in a "come at me bruh" kind of gesture.

Madoka hadn't intended for her retaliation taunt to be effective. She kinda just thought the situation was humours and went along with the bantz. She hadn't expected her mother to fall for her own trick. However, as her mother tilted her face back in a queer fashion with a face of angry disgust, she realized she'd done that.

Junko could feel herself getting angry despite herself. She had felt for a while now that she'd figured out the optimal emotional state to be in a fight. To her, it was inbetween angry and disintrested, which she refered to as focus. If she wasn't a bit angry, she felt she couldn't bring down her fist of justice upon the evil ghouls but if she only saw red, then she'd make mistakes due to... well not thinking. It just bothered her so that this tiny ghoul felt so confident in her presence. It felt amiss and made her feel uneasy, like she missed something vital. Like she was walking into a trap but that feeling hurt her pride. That someone so small could hurt her.

Madoka started to sidewalk around Junko and Junko's followed suit. Then they both started to close the distance between them.

---

Ruby spread her footing wide apart and crouched. She drew a few figure-eights as she whirled her scythe in the air before resting it along her shoulders. The curved blade pointed at her waist. These quick movements pulled her hood off, revealing her determined face.

Her gaze was meet by her sister, Yang. Yang slammed her knuckles together and cracked her neck to the side, before taking up a traditional boxing stance. She bobbed her arms up and down and a meaty "ka-chunk" followed as the shotgun shells were loaded into her gauntlets.

For a while they only stood there, giving each other stink eyes, then Ruby disappeared as a sonic trail of falling rose petals took her place and began to circle Yang.

Yang's eyes tried at first to follow her movement but gave up. She knew it was hopeless to keep up with her speed. However, while Ruby had speed and damage, Yang had toughness and damage.

She took a deep breath and released it. She closed her eyes, took a more relaxed posture, and let her arms dangled at her sides.

She listened to the rustling of the petals as they kept accomulating and get kicked up on repeat when Ruby sprinted over them at an impossible speed. At this point Yang wondered if Ruby hadn't created a circle of red rose petals. She felt the breeze from the small whirlwind her sister had created with all her running. Suddenly she could make out the crunching sound of dry rose petals getting stepped on and then... She couldn't anymore.

Her eyes snapped open. She spun on her heel and saw what she expected.

Ruby comming down on her with her scythe raised high overhead. She swung it with all her might and it looked like she went from a reverse 'c' to a normal 'c'. Yang stepped in under and blocked the scythe with her left gauntlet as best she could. Her wrist took the impact of the staff rather than the blade of the scythe but her gauntlet still slide along the staff so the blade cut into her. The gauntlet ammunition rack was sliced clean off but the blade stopped at her wrist due to her aura taking the already mitigated blow.

Having blocked the attack, she went on the offensive, moved some of her lifeforce into her right arm before firing off her gauntlet backwards, boosting her now upcomming uppercut.

Ruby's eyes widen and with her crazy reaction speed and speed in general she flunged herself out of Yang's punch as she bucked off from her sycthe, sending herself and the sycthe off in opposite directions.
Glim
!Glam8.itxo
254a5c6
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No.372078
Mahou-Shoujo-Madoka-Magica-Madoka-Kaname-1080x1920.jpg
weapons-Mahou-Shoujo-Madoka-Magica-1501131-1403x992.jpg
>>371941
Overall pretty good. There are still some ESL and spelling issues here and there but your English is improving. I can also see what you were getting at in your previous post, trying to focus on just raw description of what's happening in a scene without a lot of added fluff, and I think you were mostly successful. I don't have any difficulty following what's going on in the scene or visualizing the action. The only notable exception is this:

>Junko could feel herself getting angry despite herself. She had felt for a while now that she'd figured out the optimal emotional state to be in a fight. To her, it was inbetween angry and disintrested, which she refered to as focus. If she wasn't a bit angry, she felt she couldn't bring down her fist of justice upon the evil ghouls but if she only saw red, then she'd make mistakes due to... well not thinking. It just bothered her so that this tiny ghoul felt so confident in her presence. It felt amiss and made her feel uneasy, like she missed something vital. Like she was walking into a trap but that feeling hurt her pride. That someone so small could hurt her.
There are two problems here. First is that it's a bit wordy. This feels like you're sliding back into that overly-verbose, confusing descriptive style you said you were trying to move away from. Second is that everything here is basically a description of the character's emotions. This is likely why it ends up getting muddy and overly-descriptive: complex emotional states are difficult to put into words. This is one of those "show, don't tell" situations. Instead of describing what the character is feeling, try to show us how they are feeling through their actions. The basic thrust of this text is that Junko usually tries to maintain her composure during a fight, but Madoka's taunting is getting her riled up and she is starting to make mistakes. So come up with some action that conveys this. Maybe Junko grunts or growls, or she throws a reckless punch and misses, that sort of thing.

Here are some other things I noticed:

>a "come at me bruh" kind of gesture.
>went along with the bantz
Outside of greentext writing, you really want to avoid casual, shitposty language like this in your narration. The only exception would be if the story is narrated in first person and the narrator uses this kind of language in everyday conversation. It goes back to what I was saying about narrative voice: if a character is narrating, you want the tone of your narration to feel like that person's natural speaking voice. However, if there is no narrator and you're just describing action in the third person, you want the tone to be as neutral and utilitarian as possible. In the case of Madoka's gesture, it would be more helpful to just describe the movement she's actually making, instead of relying on the reader's presumed understanding of a colloquialism.

>she flunged herself
Usually, adding 'ed' to the end of a verb will make it past-tense. However, "flung" is already the past-tense of "fling," so you don't need to add the 'ed'. For some reason, "flinged" is also incorrect, even though it logically ought to work. English is a very stupid language sometimes.

>A small amount of surprise showed itself on Junko's face.
This phrasing is awkward. It would be easier to just say "Junko was surprised" or something to that effect. There are degrees of being surprised, but surprise itself can't really be quantified, thus you can't really have a small amount of surprise show itself.

> She kinda just thought the situation was humours
Unless she's a medieval doctor, the situation should be "humorous." Also, it should be "kind of," not "kinda," see my above statement on using casual language in narration.

>She swung it with all her might and it looked like she went from a reverse 'c' to a normal 'c'.
I think I basically understand what's happening here, but it's still an awkward way to describe it.

>knocked the air out of her lunges
Unless Madoka is doing aerobics, the air should be knocked out of her "lungs."

--------

>Do you understand what is going on in the scene, except for contextual details like who Madoka is and such?
Generally, yes; except for what I pointed out this is well written and easy to follow. The nice thing about action sequences is they don't really require much context. You can drop the reader into a fight scene with absolutely no lead-in whatsoever and they can still follow what's happening, even if they aren't familiar with the characters or don't know why they're fighting.

The only issue I have with this structurally is that it isn't clear how these two scenes connect to each other. I'm not sure if this whole thing is meant to be read as one piece, but based on what's here the two scenes feel disjointed. It reads like this:

>two characters are fighting
>we're not sure why
>page break
>now two completely different characters are fighting
>we don't know why these two are fighting either

Theoretically you could make an entire story like this, where it's just a collection of scenes in which anime girls beat the shit out of each other round-robin style for reasons that are never explained. It might even be kind of fun to read. However, without some overarching narrative connecting it all together, it wouldn't be much of a story.

As an aside, these names sound kind of familiar. From "Madoka" I'm assuming these characters are from Madoka Magica. I saw it a long time ago, but I don't remember who the other characters are or what the show was about exactly. All I remember is that I thought I was sitting down to watch a cutesy magical-girl show, but it turned out to be really surreal and fucked-up.
Anonymous
6dd45cb
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No.372081
crashvsdbz.pdf
part2.pdf
part3.pdf
Have some fic. I had fun writing it.
One character's name is familiar, but she is not the horse.
Anonymous
54ecf19
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No.372759
372760
169afd55c930db4b756305c194e8e5d6_7307607336823158626.jpg
Houkai.3rd.full.4133673.png
Coralie.full.4126318.png
>>371840
Hey! Glad you still remember my fic. Even if you remember it for those reasons. *insert an ungodly amount of elypses*
>That said, I wouldn't say that writing should be entirely discounted. Even if you have a great story with great characters and you can see every scene clearly inside your head, if you can't communicate it to people in language they can understand, you'll never be able to make the audience see what you see.

I'm starting to think execution is what truly makes the artist.
You don't actually need to be talented or skilled in order to put together a masterpiece in your head. With some luck and enough time, anyone can have a good idea eventually. Even a bunch of good ideas.
Anyone, even an autistic Vtuber fag, or a vitriolic Honkai player. It's easy enough, probable enough for the lazy to cling on.
But only a very small fraction of those people, actually put the work into making their vision a reality.
A much smaller fraction, actually see it through. And even then, only a miniscule percentage actually do it right.

Execution does override intent. And no amount of daydreaming about ebin stories is going to make you an artist. There's so much more about it besides having a vision. If you can't even express that "vision" by yourself, you're no artist.
Anonymous
54ecf19
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No.372760
>>372759
>masterpiece
Well, scrap that. Let just say...something of "acceptable quality".