Its that RP thread again! Spectators can shitpost, new players can try it out with little/no investment, and established players need no explanation.
We return as most of the party is either in Sparintenar preparing for a swank banquet - a custom among the Spartans - or speeding towards; except Thez. ;_;
Our newest player Stix is exploring the surrounding forest area, as is his proclivity as a ranger.
Tracy, speeds toward Sparintenar at full speed for some reason unknown to GM at time of OP.
Thez is at the Sticky Wickett, having brought Bones along to have a mostly one-sided conversation, accented occasionally by >doot
Game is temporally not set to fire off at a particular point, but last thread passed 2nd bump so,....
1264 replies and 94 files omitted.
>>55271>except Thez. ;_;Torc will gladly trade places
>>55275You could just go to Krenshal now.
Can Tracy check out the stables now?
>>55277That would mean Infernius doesn't want Thez in Sparintenar
>>55276I could, but I have a feeling the banquet will be story important
>>55279Thez needs to protect port barry.
>>55271Reminder of what Trump does before Renquist and Baz arrive
>>54654 → https://youtu.be/7bzG8JQn-pI>forgot BGM in OP ~_~>>55281TY 4 reminder. Does his speech involve admitting that Kefka may be alive?
>>55283No, that he's saving for the leaders of the City. But the speech does involve the glory of Football
>>55282I don't know
>>55283I already spent 20 hours of my life on this thing! I’m not gonna...
*watches again*
Can make use Intimidate and Bluff checks on multiple subjects at once too?
>>55283What are the stables like?
>>55288Calm down. He'll get to you
>>55285He was with you during the flight over there.
>>55289I’ll just watch the opening part a whole bunch to make up for the fact I’m not crazy about the metal.
>>55286U don't have to watch anon, you could just run it in the bg
>>55288They're like areas designed to house horses and other livestock, generally stocked with hay, oats, alfalfa, and lots of salt.
>>55293How many animals in total?
>>55293While you're busy figuring out the precise layout and nature of Sparentinar cavalry, don't forget Trumpaladin is wait for the arrival of important people to talk to
*sips from the glass of water that is generally provided at such banquets before the main food is served*
*Eats free bread*
>>55296They are based on ancient Sparta. They're basically Communists
Try this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njV0hsOc0g8 >>55297
>Keep your pants on
But it's Tracy, and not Trumpaladin in the stable
>>55294Eh why?
>>55295Yes, yes, keep ur pants on
>>55300Do they have a lot of warhorses? Is the city's cavalry well-stocked?
>>55300*Pants remain on as he eats bread*
*Notices codpiece on new set of armor is missing... Tries to make it less noticeable*
>>55302Use the hat.
It's a Hat of Glammering: it makes you look dressed to impress, even when you're not.
>>55295*puts arm around paladin*
"Brad what this place culture like?"
>>55305"Austere and Utilitarian. Very Militaristic. Very ordered, and collectivistic. Pretty well advanced technologically, but no magic. Not much luxury or fun. Mostly a well functioning society I would say"
>>55302Why is his cod-piece missing? Nevermind.
>>55301Is that what you're looking to determine? Could you perhaps offer more info with regard to your intentions?
>>55307"How do they feel about (((Foreign))) influence)))?"
>>55308Just give vague descriptions back like "horses that seemed to be trained for war tend to be lighter riding horses, suggesting a doctrine of light cavalry, perhaps for an army where infantry are the centerpiece, and cavalry are a complement rather than a core. Utility horses likewise tend to be light, although some draft horses for heavier loads exist"
Okay I'll shut up now
>>55308>cod-pieceTracy stole it, again.
>IntentionsMostly figured a horse's first judgement of a city would be based on the condition of the other horses, and Tracy is just looking around to learn some more about the place.
Also, I might want to try to convince them to put on horse shows, if they're so desperate for entertainment. >>55309They have a squirrel with a bazooka for that
>>55310That's not bad, but I'm going with "Tracy wouldn't be led to the officers/military stables, so this information is not available outside an unecessarily extensive side-quest that the same objectives can be achieved by asking questions rather than snooping."
>>55309"They don't like it. They are autarkic and seem to have existed mostly as an isolated culture"
>>55312I know, Infernuis doesnt.
>>55313That's a better answer than mine
>>55314"Hmmm, maybe they listen to my message."
*accidentally takes a bit of steak*
>>55317"I'm not so sure. The thing is, they don't really have any compelling need for nat soc, because their society is already basically nat soc. They are not being oppressed by jews. They are not being bullied by foreign powers... Well, they are being bullied by
one very important foreign power. And they aren't in a serious economic crisis. But you can try I guess"
>>55313I'd get frustrated and end up killing a bunch of people, so I may as well give up on that then...
>>55296Tracy delivers the papers.
"It's from Woody." she says flatly
>>55317*gives dog*
>>55319"Woody?"
Torc looks over them real quick
"Oh, her. Thanks for the delivery"
>>55318"Me probably fail anyway..."
>>55319*talks to dog to see if she can be awakened*
Wait, are the currently at the banquet?
>>55321What is the matter with you? Bringing a dead dog to a dinner banquet! Have you lost your mind?
>>55321"Well, it may yet succeed. You'll need to convince them that the Court is somehow Jewish. But the thing is, I don't know anything about the Court. That's really more of why I am here. To figure out what the hell is going on"
>>55327The court is Jewish though.
Infernius would have enough ranks in Knowledge religion to explain it too.
>>55328If you want to explain something in character, go right ahead. In the meantime, my character thinks the court city is partly undead and is lead by a kind of magical Joker
>>55324Dead?
>>55327"Me will look around the court for (((courruption)))."
>>55330"No, I mean the people who attacked our city. Hell, who held you hostage. They are unambiguously evil"
>>55324"They don't like the display of human remains for some reason"
>>55330I'm teasing about how Infernius has neglected to specifically feed/interact with
>>55331"Oh me thought you meant court system."
"When does that squirrel get here?" Tracy says impatiently
>>55335"So who in charge around here?"
What's actually going on though?
>>55336Squirrel?
>>55337"One they call Baz. A superb fighter, and a pretty knowledgeable and virtuous leader, as best as I can tell. I met him last time I was here"
>>55338"Where did you get that dog from?"
>>55337"A tree rat..." Tracy grumbles
>>55342Is he still walking through the forest?
>>55345"Who else like stabbing as much as her."
>>55342I walked right into that one.
Torc pets Snek, wondering what's going on
>>55344Stix? Yeah, with the promise of these Gibberniggers I keep hearing so much about attacking.
>>55346"When did she give you the dog?"
*Pets kitty to calm her down, as she seems to be getting worked up in a theological argument with some Sparentinar citizen*
>>55349>is right there"Just now. The poor thing's been wandering around the tower alone all this time because the dumb bull forgot about it. I figured I'd take it for a walk."
>>55352"I haven't seen her..."
>>55351"Gah! When did you get here?"
>>55353*gasps waist*
"I got lonely, so I came here with you." she says
>>55354Trumpaladin is baffled as to why she went right up to Infernius to hand him a dog, but didn't even say hi to him, so he looks at her in a bit of bafflement
"okay"
*cautiously puts hand on head in a sort of petting motion*
"So when is this banquet gonna start?"
Torc holds up the sketches from Saw hoers, delivered by murder hoers
"I wanna go talk about these"
>>55356*eats more free bread*
*tells Fae to calm down, since she is still arguing*
>*is still waiting for Baz*
>>55360Of course there are! It's Greek hospitality
>>55359"It's not the same now is it? Not that I expected it to last forever. Feels like such a shame, but maybe it's better this way"
\r
>>55361"Uh, so far I've seen trebuchet ammunition of the explosive variety"
>>55365Does Infernius even know what a rocket is?
>>55366They had rocketry in germaneigh.
>>55365"What? You know about rockets?"
Torc then realizes something
"And how did
you know that I was interested in them?"
No metafagging Trumpaladin turns to Tracy
"Do you still want to be friends?"
>>55369"My friend Aryanne had scientist who invented it."
>>55371"Fair enough, but why you asking me? I was considering trying to build one, but I haven't started"
>>55372*picks up pony, and sets her in his lap*
>>55371"uh huh"
*stuffs face with free bread*
>>55374>>55373"Well because me dont know how she invented it."
Eventually and at length, Baz makes his entrance which is joined by a militaristic chorus of applause. Blah blah, banquet. Did anyone want to interject an element into the banquet?
>>55376"Heard of her back at the asylum. Apparently she was given a special parole for her ingenuity."
>>55377Tracy growls threateningly at Baz, like you'd expect her to, but doesn't cause much of a ruckus.
>>55376"You're dodging the question, how did you Know
I wanted to make one?"
>>55377Torc would ask him "Who the fuck are you?" but that may be a bit unprofessional.
*removes former inmate from lap, and stands to smile, clap, and greet Baz*
>>55380*
absolutely removes former inmate from lap*
>>55381*whispers*
"That's their leader. Please be polite and don't get us kicked out"
>>55380*unless he gets within biting range
>>55384I would say something polite, but if he's a squirrel it'd probably require a bluff check
>>55385"Sorry about our friend, he is slightly...
slow"
>>55381"Me didn't, me was asking you if you want to make one with me."
>>55385"Shh! That's Baz"
>>55386*places arm in front of blue one*
>>55390Kek. Did you just make that?
>>55396I meant "Dancing Lights," or "Prestidigitation," not "Summon a celestial triceratops or a smol army of Fiendish giant constrictors"
[1d20+23 = 41]>>55399Damn it, Snek trys grappling Infernius to stop him
>>55401That only works after the attack.
>>55399ReeeeeeeeeeeeeeI was waiting for the right chance!
>>55401You needs feat for that: Standstill.
>>55407I call bullshit
Fae casts "Sanctuary" on Baz
>>55409She could only act after Infernius.
"Such a lovely meal"
Torc starts counting, wondering how long it will take for them to get arrested
>>55410Infernius is too far from Baz, his dexterity too low, and his dice roll too poor for that to land anyways, so it doesn't really matter anyways except that Trumpaladin is now pissed off at Infernius
>>55413Baz is 50+ feet away and you'd need to be within five feet to attempt that bullshit, so (you) can wait (you)r turn
>>55414How do we know he was 50 ft away?
>>55415Because what about
>>55377 implies "he came within 5 feet and was not seperated by a table or an honor guard or any other object"?
>>55416Meh. Infernius would've had time to get close during the blah, blah period.
>>55417That's not how important people introduce themselves. They are separated from the crowd and have guards around them. For precisely this reason
>>55418This scenario interesting.
Besides, that's not how he acted was when Tracy had a snap at him.
>>55419Because he came up close and personal to Trumpaladin trying to intimidate him. That is not what is going on here.
Also, it's not interesting, it's fucking mind numblingly stupid. I have been waiting literal months to get some basic fucking story advancements and you shit for brains keep fucking it up with your fuckery. So I'm having Trumpaladin sell out Infernius and Tracy if necessary, then proceeding with the plan after you two dumbasses realize an epic level dexterity fighter is a hell of a lot harder to defeat than you though
>>55421Mobile posters are cancer
>>55424If you're going to attack an ally, then yes. Don't fuck things up deliberately for no other reason than "lol let me see if I can get
all of us killed lawl"
>>55424If you weren't actually close enough to bite him, cast Divine Power on yourself first.
>>55427Aim at the king and you'd better not miss.
>>55429And he'll miss... Baz won't, nor will his guards
>>55455And the dice are so very in your favor
Why do something this pointless anyways? Just to piss us all off and fuck up the evening?
[1d20+25 = 44]
Bluff time
"I'm sorry my liege. My friend was recently infected with a parasite. Ever since he's been kinda strange sometimes. I'm sure one of our friends would be more than happy to punish him. Please accept our apologies. Would you like to see a magic trick?"
>>55456Infernuis thinks hes part of the banquet.
>>55458Which is why he is walking on his own and is carrying an anti-tank rocket launcher, with trumpets playing as he enters the room, as people stand and applaud
Not even Infernius is that stupid
>>55457Where are you getting +25 from?
>>55460You underestimate Infernuis.
>>55459Thanks.
Technically, Infernius is basically gonna jump up and sail towards the squirrel, and then crash onto the table just a bit short.
>>55461>20 cha>20 in bluff skill >>55461Bluff is one of his few class skills, plus the Char bonus, plus the benefit of a Snek familiar.
in memory of squirrel general... thing
>>55465>>55457>end result: 47>>55466Top fucking kek
Is GM asleep at his desk again?
>>55466Baz is still alive, don't worry about it. He's just pissed off
>>55468Ah, good. I want to see squirrel with rocket launcher go against minotaur.
>>55469A Minotuar with 42 strength.
>>55471Wrong. You have 36 strength
>>55470*gives Baz xp
ftfy
>>55471If you didn't actually get to make the attack, take 3 rounds to cast bulls strength, divine power, and righteous might.
>>55473That's three rounds for people to notice what the fuck is going on, and for Baz to assume combat stance
Okay, I kind of want to see that>>5547421+5+12=38
>>55475They'd have to make spellcraft checks to even realize a spell was being cast. Otherwise, Infernius would just look like he's "praying".
>>55477You can hear a spell being cast, and I'm pretty sure you'd see some sort of physical effect on a minotaur about to go beserk
>>55478You get a stat advancment every 4 levels.
>>55480Yeah, and I'm pretty sure you started with 18 and put 3 into strength to get that 21
>>55479Righteous might would be the only one with a significant physical appearance (when Infernius grows yuge). Otherwise, it'd just look like praying.
>>55480>he actually put it all into StrThis mofo..!
>>55481Infernius never allocated his points.
He just had a ridiculous amount of Str.
>>55482Do you think they know nothing of magic? Do you think they wouldn't red flag a "prayer"? And do you really think infernius would look clam at the moment he's sperging out?
>>55484Then you don't get to cast any spells past level 3
>>55484You should convert to Strength domain, so you can tear Soros in half like a phonebook.
>>55485That'd require a knowledge arcana check.
>>55487They're going to know he has hostile intent one way or another
>>55490These people are paranoid as fuck, yes they are
>>55491They'd still need to roll.
>>55492Okay. let them roll then. Or more likely, they just assume that spell casting is a thing (because they are not new to this) and so assume weird mumbling must be some sort of spell, and that anyone casting a spell has bad intent, even if they have no idea what that spell is or even if it's divine or arcane
>>55493Meh. That not how I'd see it.
We'll figure out tomorrow.
>>55494That's basically how they behaved the last time we were there. They don't put up with shit
>>55495I still wanna see shit go down.