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Season-4-Character-Cluster-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-37465977-1024-604.png
Contrarian, Cancerous, and Contentiously Contrite Nuts
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53728
53730 53731 53737 53744 53745 54297
ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition

Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....


1402 replies and 178 files omitted.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54544
54545
I feel so betrayed...
Hit right in the feels
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54545
54547
4D99A1FD-ACEB-4A29-BEC8-3366B04CD8E3.jpeg
>>54543
How Stix has been doing: pic related
we don’t have to go back to him tonight if we are getting tired
>>54544
How so?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54546
So as this night and session come to a tenative close (tenative, cuz its technically always ongoing), Stix is out wandering through various parts of the forest. He's actually well on his way to Trollestia's grove, but who knows where he'll end up? Tracy is playing with toys, except these toys become real-life goats, music accompanying one and ill temper the other.
Characters are free to act (limited to my ability to respond, since I know a stack of consequential actions will probably occur Xp)
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54547
54548
>>54545
I'll wait until I am actually proven right on this one

>>54543
Uh... I think Trumpaladin needs to talk to someone
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54548
54549 54551
>>54547
I don't even understand your meaning.

Please note, play is not suspended, but this is the point where I really start shitposting, just so its known
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54549
54552
>>54548
I mean that he needs to speak with allies (Baz, in this case) about the geo-political situation, in order to inform them of what happened, learn how they can help, and also get a better understanding of what they are up against (because he still doesn't know anything about seven factions, who those pirates were, or anything but that kefka exists in the Court City with a bunch of undead)
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54550
Well, Tracy spends a few more mintues eating lunch with the two goats while her faggot attends to things.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54551
54552
>>54548
>play not suspended
Stix, clearly making no progress with the trail, sets up camp. He expertly weaves branches, leaves, and grass into a tent like structure.

He then builds a small fire and stares into it, desperately trying to recall his past.
he wouldn’t try so hard if he knew what he would remember
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54552
54553 54554
>>54549
Ah, okay
>>54551
Oh he was doing fine. Trouble is, theres miles of gibbernigger trails. Luckily, the easiest way to find them is to be out at night. ^_^

Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54553
>>54552
Ah, that’s nice... but I still don’t know what a gibbernigger is!
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54554
>>54552
Unless of course, Trump can investigate the disappearances
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54555
>>54295
I'm only just getting to this,...
dude
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54556
54557
>>54521
I can't stop watching thing this video for some reason...
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54557
>>54556
"IKR?" :3
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54558
54560 54562
After lunch, Tracy goes off to the holodeck and practices her new stance.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54559
1127139__safe_screencap_princess luna_luna eclipsed_animated_solo_thousand yard stare.gif

Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54560
54561
>>54558
Fuck off
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54561
54563
>>54560
Y tho?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54562
>>54558
I think I want to open a dojo nao.
Now that I think of it, it makes more sense for Tracy to be teaching martial disciplined to the followers of her 'cult' rather than any spooky religious undertones. Would actually contribute more to society too, since the teachings of her house could be passed down.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54563
54564 54566 54570
>>54561
For two reasons, first, this is attempt 91001 for Tracy's faggot to try to get free sneak attack every single round. Because that's exactly what this is. This is "if an opponent fails to hit you in a round, you get flanking." Which is sneak attack. But obviously opponents are going to miss a substantial portion of the time. Hell, even a high level warrior type with a +12 +7 +2 is probably going to miss on one of three of those even if it's an insanely strong fighter. Or a huge dragon is going to miss with one of its six attacks. And boom! Free +100 damage in a round just cause he found a homebrew that say that

But also, why does his character get so much more time than ours? He gets to attack a wagon. And he gets to drive into the mountains. And he gets to Wait 30 minutes as ogres fight. And he gets to come back, and then be there for a new character, and then go on an investigation which he frustratingly cuts short. And then he gets an ogre fight, and then a goat things scene. And then more training? Like how much more slowly does time pass for this character than for all of the others?

Infernius's character got what... Suit shopping? Mine got a brief conversation and a plane ride. Same with Torcuil.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54564
54565
AC557EC7-D57E-43CC-AFAB-9155B7A84ED6.jpeg
>>54563
There is always a spotlight hog anon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get along.

And get creative. The reason we see so much of Tracy is because that character is more outgoing, more direct in approach. The character isn’t afraid of consequence, so goes into danger. This danger means more dedicated time to resolve those conflicts.

I get it, you want more time to role play. It seemed very lacking today, I will agree, but approach this calmly and we can figure something out.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54565
54567 54568
>>54564
>The character
It's because the faggot is entirely dedicated to this while I was driving part of yesterday and out with a friend today, and then tonight GM focused more on him than the others
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54566
>>54563
Okay. I appreciate your attention to detail, and hope we can resolve this civilly. Now please, put the gun down.
Seriously though I get where you're coming from, and such a thing would be a piece of cake for like, Thez "Bah, that stance assumes your opponents are weak, I would never use it!" or others such. I did say it wouldn't be precisely that technique.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54567
54569 54572
>>54565
And I feel the GM is a bit biased for Tracy’s faggot as well, probably because the GM has a bit more fun with those scenarios. Look at what we are doing: I’m walking on a dirt road, and you were flying a ship. Now look at Tracy: running around, killing stuff, making goats.

Which would you choose? I won’t say it’s fair, but you got to understand where it is coming from.

Now, let’s think up a way to balance this problem. Maybe limit the turns a player can have in a row before it must be another player’s turn, no ifs ands or buts.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54568
>>54565
Thats true, I did. It seemed fitting since we all holed out for a week-ish in discord while he sat along without any word and discord fugging up instantly. So yeah, I let him take the lead a bit. It seemed fair and fitting in the long run.
Anonymous
/A8XB
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No.54569
54572 54574
>>54567
Mostly I was jealous because I wanted to play out the investigation. Slovenia was just such a screamingly obvious suspect that I absolutely would have interrogated her. And besides that, the Adam character was stated to be at the Rusty Duck and the flower shop was not investigated...

Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54570
54571 54573
>>54563
Oh stop it.
If you're going to be the rulecuck, why don't you quit wearing two suits of magical armor, or stop wearing a helm and a circlet at the same time, or send off that 17d10 magical beast companion, or that Homebrew feat that gives you four extra spells.
Most of your haxx are seemingly subtle thing that actually go a long ways in the end, often requiring Epic Level feats under normal SRD rules. You're allowed to do all that, because nobody else complains: none of the other party members care if your character has things to make him more effective, sometimes they even encourage it. You on the other hand complain about everything: every session your always policing the other characters on how they play the game, as if it's your place to decide what the rules are. Why can't you just relax and let the GM be the one to decide what he want to allow before you get butthurt?
>"""Free""" Sneak attack
It's not hard to get a """free""" sneak attack, even when you're one square away from your enemy. A smokebombs, darkness, a cloak dance, a concealed weapon.. etc. There's many methods to provide 1-turn concealment or flanking for a Sneak Attack. I like this one because she can use it without blinding party members, and it gives her allies a bit of advantage.
Why do you even care what my character can do?
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54571
>>54570
>homebrew
Used twice ever and was intended to counterbalance your insistence on playing contrary to other players at the time. The difference is I don't ask for more things all the time.

>not hard
Great, do that
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54572
54576
>>54567
The goats were a hold-over from a previous session. Other than that I was trying to avoid getting started into a lengthy cinematic description only to say "whoops, we'll finish later" with Trump and co at Sparintenar. So again, yes I did allow Tracy to get a little silly.
>>54569
This is so many levels of inside-job autism that I'm taken aback. Kudos for the thought, but thats SO not it.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54573
>>54570
>Why can't you just relax and let the GM be the one to decide what he want to allow
I am letting GM decide. I'm just arguing for why I think it should be one way
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54574
54575 54595
>>54569
Ah, I knew about the Rusty Duck, but not a flower shop. You think the girl is suspect huh? Could very well be, but both my character and Tracy couldn’t see it, so that is our failing. When you get back from your trip, you could ask us about the investigation, and then go out for yourself to find out things.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54575
>>54574
He just wants an excuse to use "enhanced interrogation" on her Xp
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54576
54577 54578 54579
>>54572
>As soon as you see her, she is destroying a human figurine that has a name on it - a coworker?
>She is mesmerized by the thought of "what if that were a real person" like there's a pleasure to it
>She takes pleasure in being called "the Saw horse" - a name that has a double meaning in being compared to a fictional serial killer
>She has zero regard for the person who (presumably) is dead or at least in an unpleasant position
>She likes that he is gone, that is, had a motive to get rid of him
I absolutely would have interrogated her
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54577
>>54576
so many keks
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54578
54580
>>54576
Tbh, I was getting that feel from her too, but Tracy wouldn't be one to pry about those sort of things, unless she were offering to get rid of other annoying coworkers.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54579
54580 54581
>>54576
Couldn’t see just fire the guy or get her helpers that were loading the trebuchet to keep him away? Why go to the trouble of murder?
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54580
54582 54583 54584
>>54578
That's why you should have taken the Paladin...

He may not have "gather information" or "search" but he's got sense motive like nothing else, besides magic like Zone of Truth, Discern Lies, and is strong enough to win a grapple

>>54579
Maybe she could. But Adam is the actual owner. And if she's a sadist and a sociopath, she'd be just fine killing him rather than firing him
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54581
>>54579
I find the image of some faggot "accidentally" having their leg caught on a 90 kg stone projectile that was promptly flung over 300 meters, to be absolutely hilarious.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54582
saw____twilight_sparkle____shot_gun_collar_by_familyof6-d50cqg7.png
>>54580
Totally not what I was thinking with all of it, but please continue
Okay, pretending to sleep nao
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54583
54589
>>54580
He was going to Sparta though.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54584
54585 54589
>>54580
Well, I did ask you to come along >>54077
Plus, I thought the Will thing was a joke, you know:
Fire at will!
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54585
54586
>>54584
... a joke, yes... lets go with that
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54586
54587
>>54585
Makes as much sense as a blue pony with knifes and blood lust eating with two goats see summoned, at least to me.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54587
>>54586
Why can’t I spell she today? It’s always see... damn it
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54588
54589
Tracy trains in the holodeck for the rest of the afternoon, stopping only to take notes on her newly-developed combat maneuvers, and to feed her birds (who sleep for most of the day).
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54589
54590 54591 54592
>>54583
I know. And it was frustrating because I wanted to dimension-lock shackle her (because she can teleport now for some reason), cast zone of Truth on her, and do some serious interrogation.

>>54584
I'm betting on fantasizing about killing coworkers

>>54588
And I'm sure you'll declare more actions for her later
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54590
54593 54598
>>54589
>teleport
She's a unicorn. I thought with her being all excited about maybe blowing stuff up, she might just manage it since it didn't seem consequential. Chill
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54591
54593
>>54589
I think I like the ambiguously sinister Slovenia a bit better. I have a dark sense of humor.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54592
54594
>>54589
like you haven’t wanted to put the names of people you hate on a target and mow it down before

Or is that just me and I’m just as evil?
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54593
>>54591
Well I don't.

>>54590
>Chill
Never
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54594
54595
>>54592
Well obviously on it's own it doesn't mean much, but in the totality of the circumstances, I think we have at least reasonable suspicion
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54595
54597 54600
>>54594
And like I said here >>54574
When you get back, have at an interrogation. Your free to do so.

Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54596
"Wait, WHAT? That's IT? Oh HELL no," yells a voice as if from nowhere.
Stix, you haven't met Thez yet.
"I didn't sit through all that monkey bullshit for over a week, just to sit here while everyone fast-travels around! I had stuff that I wanted to do!" she says, from the middle of the quarantine area,... that's still holding sjws from that one time,....
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54597
54599
>>54595
That's forever from now though
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54598
345.gif
083.gif
post-39656-0-11191000-1479257968.png
large.png
>>54590
>She's a unicorn
Pls gibe Earth-Pony Strength for Tracy.
Or at least for the sake of performing cartoonish mundane tasks, like pulling oversized wagons up mountains.
*Wanting of things intensifies*
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54599
>>54597
I know, it’s hard when you made a choice you think isn’t going to be as fun. But here is my advice:

You can make an excuse to come back, like claim you forgot something and then ask us how it goes and start the interrogation, or... pick up some torture equipment on your journey there and say you need to drop it off back at base, then do all the stuff from part one
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54600
54601
>>54595
Quick terms:
Rusty Duck: Port Barry (home city) Local Favorite Eatery, Pub, Inn, etc.
Sticky Wicket: Favorite Eatery, Inn, Pub, etc. of travelers and Thez, because they stock her favorite booz.
Belligerent Gnome: Local weapons shop, featuring fine-masterwork equipment as available.
There's also a Mage shop, a Butcher shop, a tailor shop, and a variety of equally-specific trades and crafts shops.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54601
54602 54603 54605
>>54600
I will definitely look into these... when I can find my way out of the forest
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54602
54604
>>54601
Don't get eaten.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54603
54609
>>54601
Were you trying to go all the way to that city with the Elven name or just to see if you could find Trollestia? Because those are two radically different things
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54604
54606
>>54602
*writes the pro-tip in journal*
Awesome, be everyone will know what I failed at once I get alll the tips written down and they find it next to my remains
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54605
54607
<cont>
Ben Shapiro runs the Jewelry shop
There's a device in the building/tower (literally Trump Tower) that will resurrect a person off of a stored drop of blood (in case they get squished) called the entertron
>>54601
Not so fast, its night time in the forest. I'm already a couple hours late getting to sleep, so I'm not gonna begin that shit, but don't be surprised if Stix is fighting for his life very soon in game time.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54606
>>54604
Kek
/A8XB
?
No.54607
54608
>>54605
Ah yes, the Gibberlings
\r
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54608
>>54607
*Gibbernigger
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54609
54610 54611 54612
122D1245-2260-4EC6-88F9-4EB64789C0F6.png
>>54603
I had no idea the grove was on the map, so yeah, I was headed to the elf looking name on the map.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54610
>>54609
Don't worry about it.
My character spent most of her time trying to expand the map as well. Exploring is good.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54611
54613
>>54609
Uh... How skilled is your character at diplomacy? That's not a Ranger class skill. No one has been to that area before. Trumpaladin pointed out the direction of the grove and what it looks like
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54612
54613
>>54609
Oh, you won't die. Well, you might die I suppose, but thats a later on issue
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54613
54614 54615 54619
>>54611
Like I said, I don’t know D&D, so I could be as skilled as a doorstop for all I know, but if I was to make a diplomat skill, it would be decent
And yeah, you pointed that out, but I don’t know what’s what on the map yet.
>>54612
What is the quickest character death you have seen in these six months, if any have died?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54614
54616
>>54613
>Quickest
Sometimes, GM will get irritated/bored and make your character explode spontaneously.
Other than that, I don't think anyone has died, except for Torc who got turned to sand by mummies.
>Inb4 Tracy is kill
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54615
54617
>>54613
Online? No one has died quickly (so 3-4 months), and no one lastingly. IRL, one guy died during the first session, and while shortly revived, he was re-killed shortly thereafter
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54616
>>54614
Well then... next time I will get to see if I break some sort of record. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I would like to survive past the first day if possible, heh.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54617
>>54615
Sorry to here some died IRL, was revived, but later died anyway. How was the funeral?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54618
Tracy's faggot pretends to go to sleep.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54619
54620 54633
>>54613
The only character deaths have been Torcuil who was mauled to death by a lion (not in combat) and Torcuil getting killed by mummy rot after an encounter (which no one noticed he was infected with)
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54620
54621 54622 54633
>>54619
There was also the time that Torcuil and Tracy exploded cuz GM was on a proxy and they asked "Who r u?"
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54621
54622 54623
>>54620
Note to self, never ask who someone is. You may explode.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54622
>>54620
What a way to break a six month no-dying streak..
>>54621
Good idea.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54623
54624 54625
>>54621
Exploding isn't so bad, you just wake up in the entertron, revived and refreshed. The only downside?
You're still hungry.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54624
54626 54629
>>54623
But is it you? Or is it just a clone programmed with your memories?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54625
54627 54628 54629
>>54623
What happens if you die of starvation?
Now that I think of it, I don't think anyone ever fed those orcs... Might test it out myself later just to see what happens.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54626
>>54624
In the D&D universe material beings are hylomorphic. They consist of both the material component and an immaterial "soul" that is not destroyed on death (normally) and can be used to resurrect the character
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54627
54629
>>54625
Yeah... if you come out just as hungry from the device, which is starving, then it would be an endless death loop.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54628
>>54625
She'll probably miscarry first
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54629
54630
>>54624
Its "you", Stix as opposed to "you", Stix' faggot. Otherwise we're not going to get into arguments of authenticity of a synthesized body.
>>54625
"Oh now you say that, after I just fed them!"
>>54627
One can prevent the body degradation from starvation by repeatedly using the entertron, but its the law of diminishing returns in that event
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54630
>>54629
Well guys, I absolutely cannot stay wake any longer. I will try to be on tomorrow. See you then.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54633
54634
>>54619
>>54620
>RIP me
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54634
54635
>>54633
I definitely need to look through the previous threads to see how those happened.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54635
54636 54639
>>54634
Let's see,
>1st time
We don't speak about this on
Shitposted by rolling to shoot Trump.
Got a fucking Nat 20
Autism/cancer happened, and Fae had killed Torc even after GM's insistence that my action never happened

>2nd
We fought mummies, Torc got hit during battle. Afterwards, Torc healed everyone, but they were all being loot faggots and failed to notice Torc dying on the floor until it was too late.
>3rd
Posted "You are a pirate" GM got it stuck in his head, gave Torc an aneurysm.
>4th
New ID appeared in a thread.
Tracy's faggot and I asked who they are.
Cue head explosions.
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54636
54637
>>54635
>stabs haggis with zweihander
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54637
54638
>>54636
Y tho
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54638
54640
>>54637
Y naot?
Anonymous
BM2PR
?
No.54639
54640
Look of Doom.png
>>54635
You know, you could have told us that you failed your saving throw

>We do not speak of this
Oh come on, the image of a weak wizard being mauled to death by a companion animal is hilarious
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54640
54641
>>54639
I didn't know I had a saving throw, or what the hell it was even for.
>We don't speak of it
I was referring to the one things unless you'd like to inform the new player of them?, but it isn't as hilarious when it was for nothing
>>54638
Do you know what Tracy's faggot meant by that?
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54641
54643
>>54640
No. Do i want to?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54643
54644 54645
Spoilered
>>54641

Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54644
54645
>>54643
I will always hate you for making me read that with my own two eyes
Anonymous
Oq8HH
?
No.54645
>>54643
>>54644
Reeeeeeee
wRUJL
?
No.54646
[1d20+31 = 37]
Rolling to perform some acrobatic tricks to practice maneuvers and put on a show in the town's square, because why not.
Eagle's Splendor for extra Char on the Dance check.