/vx/ - Contrarian, Cancerous, and Contentiously Contrite Nuts

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ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition

Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....

>>55059
I know, but I was wondering why plp kept "ironically" eating them for a whole month.
Fucking internet...

>>55061
Never underestimate the stupidity of the normies.

though I still get a good laugh out of these kind of memes

>>55062
The stupidest memes do come out at the beginning of the year..

>>55060
Kiynen: the one girl Trumpaladin wants to stick his sword in only in the literal sense

>>55064
I find her cute.
I'll have Tracy bring her a few heads next time she goes there.

>>55065
Trump needs to go there as well

>>55066
Why are we posting Tide Ponies, again?

>>55067
He too wants to give Kiynen a head
FULL OF TIDE PODS!!!

>>55051
I'd eat that right now

>>55071
I don't believe you.

>>55072
Good point, I'd rather drink bleach

>>55074
Mmmmmmm.. Clorox..

On that note, if someone succeeded their fortitude save on poisoned food (i.e. arsenic) would they just keep eating it until they failed the save?

>>55075
Depends. Is that person Infernius?

>>55076
>Implying he could pass the first save

>>55077
He isn't a bitch though. And he'd keep drinking just to show how much of a bitch he isn't

>>55078
What I'm saying is, you can't smell or taste arsenic, so wouldn't you just keep eating unaware?

>>55079
Well, arsenic poisoning takes at minimum a few hours, but easily can last days. So my guess is that yes, they would finish the meal, and very possibly may also be able to start and finish another meal before they are too sick to eat

>>55079
I mean, I guess

>>55081
Yeah..
Then again, it'd be bullshit irl if a creature could just eat something covered in heavy metals and still be unhurt, so I guess it's better to just watch what you eat.

>>55082
Napoleon Bonaparte was found to have levels of Arsenic in his hair follicles 13 times the norm at the time of his death. Yeah it's possible to consume and accumulate heavy metals over the course of your life, although it can have all sorts of negative consequences

>passes out
Night fa,....

[1d20 = 4]
>>55078
>>55077
>>55075
Drinks bleach

>>55086
How high is the Heal DC to perform that surgery?

>>55085
Rest in bleach

>>55083
I doubt even he would've survived a direct dose though. It's like a chemical equivalent to being burnt at a stake.

>>55087
Probably a 35

>>55092
Heh, lower than I thought.

>>55094
Tell us more

>>55095
I'd rather not, desu. It's nothing interesting anyway.

>>55096
It's okay anon. You can tell us.

And why is this thread at the top of the overboard?

>>55099
I don't know. I guess there is some sort of bug that causes threads to bump again after they've hit 1000 or whatever number

>>55098
DO IT

>>55100
Have we found this site's overflow error?

>>55101
Forgot I saged someone.

>>55101
Do you mean why it is that a thread past bump limit will still bump on the overboard?

>>55103
Some sites' coding can only count so high before the count is reset back to zero. This is called an overflow error. Bascially, the thread's bump count got so high, it reset to zero, so the site now thinks that there's room for it to bump.

>>55104
Eh, I don't have permission to access the configuration any more, even locally, so I can't check the settings there, and I have no idea how to code

>>55104
So, any time the post count's last three digits are between 001-449 the thread will bump? Neat!

>>55106
That's the basic idea behind it.

Will y'all be able to play this weekend?
I don't have any plans..

>>55100
>>55097
>>55098
>>55096
>>55095
Now what the hell did I miss?
>>55108
I have some stuff Saturday evening, but other than that I'm free

>>55108
I think I’m good to play this weekend. I should be free Friday evening as well if we can start the game early.

>>55108
I'll be here

Does Tracy's cane-sword have any name or other distinguishing mark on it? I'm kind of tired of referring to it as "her cane"; figured it has quite some history to it.

>>55112
If it doesn’t, have Tracy claim it does have a history and change it to fit the scene each time. Like when taking to a warlord, claim it is from a grand general that won a battle outnumbered five to one. Or in a place of nobility, claim a king once owned it and gave it to you as reward for saving a kingdom. I think it would be funny if Tracy could successfully trick NPCs that she had something of status and might respect her based on simply possessing it.

>>55113
It's from a dead guy though.
Another player used it in a previous campaign.

>>55114
Its not distinguishable as being "Korak's cane", it's just a fine gentleman's cane that turns into a sword at will.

>>55113
>I think it would be funny if Tracy could successfully trick NPCs that she had something of status and might respect her based on simply possessing it.
Shit, now I gotta kill a king to steal his swag.
Remind me to find the location of the nearest monarchy.
*wanting of things intensifies*

>>55115
It's a swift action to turn it into a sword, right?

>>55117
Sounds useful for Sneak Attacks.
Korak's faggot had some nice taste.

>>55118
You're welcome

>>55116
On that note, it'd be best to try to do something about Kefka, before he wises up enough to try to scry on his sleeping dog, which may or may not have mutated after consuming Soros's leg in Tracy's meat locker...

>>55122
Stahp giving GM ideas goddamn it

>>55123
That is something I must adamantly refuse.
It's my favorite thing to do in this game, followed by imagining things that I want.

>>55110
I'll be here through tomorrow and the weekend, although I'll probably be out until later tomorrow afternoon.

>>55116
forgive my terrible editing skills... this is why I stick to stealing other people’s memes...
I would like to see queen Tracy and how that would play out.

>>55128
Kek. I think Tracy could go for being queen again some day.

>>55129
Don't forget who shall be King

>>55130
>>55129
I don't think Tracy would have any complaints

*Urge to blogpost intensifies*

>>55133
Dubs confirm

Can I get the pattern for Torc's kilt again? I forgot to save it.

Eh, a pic is better than my blogpost

Torc needs a magical wizard hat, btw.

>>55139
That's a witch's hat

>>55139
>choking back tears
It's..
It's beautiful.
>>55140
Gandalf wore a hat kinda like that

>>55141
I don't think he wore anything that feminine

My inner Puritan tells me we need to light a fire...

>>55130
I think a king needs something a little cooler going for him than snacks.

slowly learning the editing process... maybe one day I will actually be good

>>55143
*left spoiler image on*
And maybe one day I will master THIS site...

>>55142
Well he did wear a hat

>>55143
HOLY SHIT THAT'S BEAUTIFUL

>>55143
Kek. One of my pics was in there.

>>55147
Like I said, I steal memes. I’m not that creative to make my own, at least not yet. Most I seem to do is alter them slightly.

>>55144
>And maybe one day I will master this site
I hope for the same

>>55148
Best meme maker already. But Peach Rings are essential

>>55151
10/10
Now for Torc to shoot fireballs out his eyes and lightning bolts out his arse

>>55151
>Has a manly face
>But wears women's apparel, including both a dress and a woman's hat

>>55153
IT'S
A
ROBE

>>55143
>>55134
Hes not king damn it!

>>55155
Pali confirms

>>55155
Infernius is the Pope: Pope is better than king.

I want to kill something soon...

>>55159
You had your chance last week, which was better than any of us. Shut up

>>55160
I'll find something to kill.

>>55158
>>55157
Infernuis is Fhürer/pope.

>>55162
But Tracy says she's king

>>55164
Queen. Whatever

>>55149
Just playing with the software now. It’s pretty fun.
But I’ll stop for now.
>>55151
Looks great.

>>55163
You act like it's not to be expected.
There's always more to be killed.

>>55164
>>55165
Not happening.
She can be a dutchess

>>55168
Never say "not happening" around the sorcerer with limited wish and soon, wish

>>55167
>>55169
Fuck off

>>55168
Duchess is fine for starters, desu, so long as she has inalienable impunity over her domain and things that she can kill kill.
>>55169
You still have that moon card.

>>55170
Yes, yes.. Let the rudeness flow thru u..

>>55171
You can have trollestia grove.

>>55176
Let her set up a base in former-Durpistan too though. Tracy will be sure to keep the mines productive.

>>55178
A cave/mine beneath the crumbling remains of a communist city, with a black dragon's nest on top, sounds like the perfect place for an ebil hideout.

>>55179
Still exploiting it personally. If you want to do whatever with an orc or whatever workforce, that' fine

At least, I don't think I still have either card...

Which bread was that?

>>55182
Pretty sure Death only wrote her name on the Star card.

>>55177
Fine but you have to look into Ben's life.

>>55184
Why? GM explicitly said he's not a jew in any sense you understand it

>>55183
Yep, Torc still has the Star Card...

Shit, now I really wanna use it but I don't know which stat...

>>55179
Thats kind of the idea,... ever since,....
>GM, its ebil to slaughter a city
>clean up the dead or else spoopy
>black dragon lording over a pile of corpses
Where did you all think I was going with it? Its an ebil sanctuary.
>>55182
IIRC, Death wrote her number on the star card, voiding it.

>>55187
Fine, I'll clear the fucking thing out a second time

>>55185
I still have my suscpesions.

>>55188
"You'll not!"

>>55190
"I'll ask politely - why the fuck not?"

>>55184
Fine. Just don't gas him immediately, because that'll give GM a headache and mess-up the shekel-haxx.
The minerals will will be delivered to the port as it comes out of the mines, and won't be targeted by raiders (Tracy). The place will stay productive, if not a bit isolated and shady.

>>55187
B-but you said I could keep that one

>>55193
I think that was the Moon card.

>>55192
>raiders
F U C K O F F
U
C
K

O
F
F

>>55194
Please see
>>32092 →

>>55197
Oh..
The Star card is the better one anyway.

>>55195
>wonders why he never heard of caravans entering the port before

>>55198
>adding two to an ability score is better than 1d4 wishes

Spamming because I hate Tracy's faggot and because there's no fucking justice. Let him see what "raiding" is

>>55199
LET THIS NEWFAG, SHOW YOU HOW 2 OUT JOO DA JOOZ :^)
THANK YOU 2 THE LGBTBBQ, AND NATIONAL SOCIALIST WORLD WIDE!!!!! WYTG33BUZ SAVES! LONG LIVE MY KING UV KINGS, MICHEAL JACKSON!!! RIP :^(
https://youtu.be/i2n1eIYeh7I [Embed]
14BB M4K3N F4GUTZ GR8 AGAIN!!!!

>>55199
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TRUE HACKING FAGGOT….
TRUE ARTISTRY HAS A NAME….
YOU GOD DAMN MILLENIALS DON'T KNOW YOUR FUCKING HISTORY! YOU RIP OF /B/ AND THINK YOUR HORSE PUSSY DOES'NT STINK! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A FURFAG, /b/rony….of my /b/'s creation……was topiary, sabu. mendax, and mitinick…namefags??? read some old copies of 2600….newfag

>>55199
SURROUNDED BY FAGGOTS…..IN A SEA OF HAT3…..HAXXXOR
OV3R 9OOO

>>55199
WHAT DUZ A JOO GOTTA DO TO IMPRESS YOU GOY'Z?????????

>>55199
I SHOULD HAVE OV3R 9000 SH3K3LZ BY NOW….BUT SOMETHING IZ RONG WIT DA JOOTUB3!!!!

>>55199
IS IT REALLY THAT BAD???

>>55199
DAMN…CTR, ADL, SHAREBLUE, SOROS……WHEN WILL THE SH3K35 RUN DRY???

>>55199
I BET U W3R3 2 L4ZY 2 WATCH DA VID30! BUT GOT 4LL TH3 TYME N DA WORLD 4 HORSE PUSSY

>>55199
I SUBVERTED AMERICA BEFORE IT WAS CREATED…THE JOO ALWAYS DECIEVES

>>55199
WELL, WELL,…. I EXCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE….NOW WATCH THE DAMN VID3O JOO PONY FUKKK3R!
HAVE A NICE DAY :^)

>>55199
JOOZ 3V3N H3R3! C4N'T EXSCAPE THEM SH3K3LS….
I'LL JUST BE OV3R H3R3 SUKKIN KIKE COCK…DON'T MIND ME…. :)

>>55212
ENJOY YOUR 2D PONY WAIFU….I'LL BE DOING WHITE THINGS, BY MY SELF AS USUAL….1488 MAKE PONY FAGS GR8!

>>55212
IT MEANS PART OF /b/ is still alive….god damn horsefukkers. l337 haxxors and all that computer science 3…..skript kiddies etc.
https://youtu.be/4L9jyXjPsyc

>>55212
i don't understand either….must be like jooz

>*kills another merchant*

>>55217
KIKE
I I
KIKE
E E

>ITT Trump attempts to discourage GM from bothering ~_~

>>55199
>>55220
*sad bull*

>>55221
>who was drinking bleach a minute ago

>Impromptu bans
I remain firm in my stance.
The happy merchants entering Port Barry from the surrounding roads are Tracy's prey. Nobody can raid them but her.

>>55223
There are no happy merchants entering port barry

>>55224
Exactly.
Tracy's made good work of that.

>>55225
No. That's not what that means

[1d20 = 15]
>>55222
*vomits bleach*

>>55228
I can quit the game

I know what I am concerned about, and I know what I want

>>55229
Woah man, you can be king.

>>55230
It's not that...

>>55231
What is it? We don’t want to see you quit if we can avoid it.

>>55232
It's a long story that I am not sure you're familiar with, but it does not directly pertain to the game itself

>>55233
I definitely don’t want to pry, but if you feel like talking about it, I would like to hear what you have to say.

>>55233
If its what I think it is, there's always a ninja you can call on, and if it isn't then there's still that ninja.

unless you want to cause more problems that will have negative effects for all of us for weeks to come, delete your thread on /qa/

>>55237
Why though?
Also, I made that on a mobile IP. I might be able to when I get to my phone, but the IP may have changed by then.

>>55152
I can’t help it, I got to make more shitty edits.

I haven’t finished things like coloring, but that’s all I got time for right now.

>>55241
Well... shit. Forgot to remove the top and bottom in the cropping...

*sigh*
No more editing for me. I will see myself out.

>>55243
Why would it cause that though?

>>55244
If you could get on discord, I could explain. Just delete that thread

>>55246
Well, my issue was fixed, so I don't really need the thread anymore.

>>55241
>>55242
Don't stop. Practice is the key.
I made this one right before I passed out last night.

>>55250
That’s really good. I will keep practicing, definitely.

>Just remembered Tracy's in empathy range
As Tracy walks towards the stables, she sends an emotional blip to Brad, letting him now that she's nearby and she'll be there soon. It'd feel like something along the line of:
>'I'll be there soon, ~Flashy. Say the word and I'll be there immediately.'
As she takes a moment to size-up the cavalry that the Spartans boast in their stables I promise not to kill anyone this time. Just checking things out, to learn moar about life in Sparta.

Also, I'm not entirely sure about the limitations of the Empathetic link. I've been treating it like it were some sort of telepathy, although only in cases where they were fairly close range. I just want to know how complex of a message they can send/receive with it, for strategic purposes. I'd assume either of the two could take an action to discern the general direction of either being, or communicate messages that imply intention. He can at least call/summon her from anywhere, right; they don't need to be within a mile? I've been researching how those underling classes apply to cohorts, but idk how it'd work with PC characters, since cohorts are usually played by the DM or the PC that has them.

>>55252
A cold chill runs down Trumpaladin's spine

>empathic link
Eh. It's definitely a form of comunication, though limited by distance. For a wizard's familiar the 3.5 edition limits the content to general emotion, although different add-ons and what have you have it conveying much more, up to full telepathy.

Communication is the biggest drawback of medieval life relative to modern life (yes, I'm placing it even above sanitation and disease). According to a book I read, the best a message could do in a day was 50 miles, and that was using fast ponies and relay stations of the royal East Roman postal service through developed areas like Anatolia. Contrast thi against something like a World War 1 era carrier pidgeon, which could travel 200 miles and flew 50 miles per hour through hostile territory (less vulnerable to interception, though still vulnerable). So I think a limited range telepathy and carrier pigeons are fine. Especially because we don't play as a single unified party, but tend to split up

>>55253
Sounds real goddamn easy to disrupt non-magical messages in this universe. Takes 1 round to summon a hawk to kill a pigeon, even if it were trained to avoid archers; even a rogue could do it with a wand. You can usually forget solo travel unless your sending an experienced Ranger; actually, that makes for a great campaign setting.
That's actually why marathoners were held with such respect in Greek society: it's dangerous delivering messages, even if you use a cipher key.

>>55254
*ancient greek

>>55254
Yeah, but that's true of any physical way of sending a message. Like you could almost as easily kill a human riding on a fast horse. Just dig a hole in the path (and he'll have to follow a path) that he doesn't see and bam, the horse is lamed and the message won't be delivered. At least a pigeon is hard to see, can take multiple paths, is a hell of a lot faster, and you don't necessarily know it's coming.

"It's the Dark Ages. Life sucks for everyone"

Thank's for reminding me of the Star Card Tracy's faggot. Torc's 20 CHA should come in handy someday

>>55257
I'd forgotten about it too desu
>>55256
Magic missile

>>55257
But Trump could have really used an extra 2 charisma....

>>55259
Both of Torc's classes require high charisma

>>55260
But Trump needs precisely 2 more charisma as a necessary condition for everything in the Epic levels

>>55261
There are lots of ways to do that, let Torcuil have his goodies. Fuck me, I should prolly bake

>>55261
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

>>55261
Why did you put that point into Str?

>>55262
Okay... And yeah, you should

>>55264
Because he is a Warrior, and Strength affects both his attack bonus and his damage, so he needed high strength, and plus he had an odd numbered score. I put two points into Charisma

pssssssst, Trump's faggot has a "thing" about odd numbers

>>55265
Good point, although you do have those buffing Spells, and the benefits of Smite Ebil would've probably overridden anything you might've needed the Str for.
It'd be wiser to put everything into Char from now on. You'll want it for ebin feats and more potent Smites.

>>55263
*bullies mage*

>>55268
Well, Smite Evil is very limited (only four uses a day under the 3.5 paladin) and the charisma bonus only applies to attack rolls, but not damage, when damage is what is most needed to stay competitive, and the strength bonus applies to every damage roll. There are a couple feats from the Complete Warrior, however...