ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition
Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....
[Read more] 1402 replies and 182 files omitted.
>>53728*goes to suit merchant*
>>53731>suit merchant"B'yessssssssssssssss?"
>>53732What race is he?
"Me want uniforms for my men and me. And me need wedding suit."
>>53733A fellow with a long curled moustach eyeballs Infernius."
He sets his piece on a waiting table before scootling on his rolling chair into a back area.
>>53728Well, I feel kind of dumb. I fell asleep before you got back. Sorry about that.
>>53737*dabs on tracy*
Also hes asleep.
>>53738What happened to the ID system? Should we name ourselves to keep track now, or stay anon?
>>53739I too would prefer a thread with IDs.
I love every version of this painting.
>>53741It is very nice.
When does the game resume today? Wondering if I can get my work done in time to join.
>>53742Idk, we'll have to wait for GM. There's no set time, and you can join whenever really. Most of the characters are already in separate locations anyway.
>>53728>So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.>tries to think of a 'le petit mort' joke
>fails
>>53728*pulls giant ass wagon up the mountain*
*grunts* "We'll be there any minute now, Angels." *huff*
>>53744I have to admit the image of Torc just blowing his brains out every time he's ready to go on a "date" with his GF is absolutely hilarious.
Also, this thread needs IDs, unless we're should all start namefagging (except for the tripflagfags).
>>53746>"Hey Torc, wanna play the sportsball?""Nah sorry, got a date tonight"
*eats lead*
>>53748Kek
I imagine it'd be sort-of like Astral Projection: Torc bites a bullet, and then his "ghost" flies out to meet Death wherever their spooky extraplanar rendezvous point was, with an identical copy of whatever items he was wearing/carrying (weapons, chocolates, flowers, a suit, ect.); and then they go for a cruise on the Red River Styx and watch the stars fall into the Blood Rift, or something cool like that. His actual body is still totally and completely dead though, although he could easily be revived later
(and finds that the bull shit in his pockets again).
>>53730I wonder if there are any werebats around here...
>>53742We won't get into combat right sway, but I'll be around shortly
>>53747Yeah, Idk what that's about
>>53745Tracy didn't
have to drag a huge wagon into a mountain range, she could have taken the airship,....
>>53748>Snek is asking Torcuil to play Football"I am so proud of her"
>>53751>she could have taken the airshipLast time she tried that, she got grappled without question.
I figured I could have her do that while the other party members when to the gnome city or Sparta or wherever.
I still want her to investigate the rumor of those persons disappearing around the lumber mill too.
*kills 88 happy merchants*
>>53751Can she get to Daddybird now?
>>53754Torc Trumpaladin are ion their way to the gnome city, right?
>>53755While Tracy makes progress toward the location of daddy-bird, it takes longer than she anticipated, since last time she was flying around and such, rather than carrying a heavily laden wagon into a mountain range (its not like there's roads or sidewalks n shit). As she arrives within visual range of the spot, she is fatigued.
[1d20+18 = 32]>>53757*gasp* *Wheeze*
"You girls sure have been growing up well..."
Tracy looks up at the spire
Spot check to look for daddybird.
>>53749Torc handing love letter's to Tracy's victims for delivery to Death before they die.
>>53756I have no idea anymore, but Torc would like to go to the Gnome City.
And the dice did favour my idea
>>53759Better he go there. Trumpaladin did want to make a business deal last time he was there, if iirc, but it looks like his faggot is taking a break for a while.
*channels divegrass energy*
>>53758The terrain is rough, and the inclines of the mountains prevent driving the wagon further into the range. Farge feathers dot and lie along the surroundings, gathered into corners and ditches by the wind and weather. Some of the feathers are disturbed, as though large creatures have been through here recently.
[1d20+18 = 34]>>53762>cart is no-goTracy busies herself with burying the propping the wagon wheel, to prevent the vehicle from rolling back down the mountain, as she wonders what to do next in her poorly-considered plan...
>tfw 9 WisListen check, for good measure.
>>53764Well that game went nowhere.
All Tracy can hear is the wind whistling through the range
>>53765Can she see the top of the spire, where the nest was?
Tracy puts on a grimace, seemingly displeased with something unrelated
"Rigged, it's always rigged...!" she mutters, as she kicks the soil in frustration.
>>53767No
>>53768The models looked way better at least
I mean she can see the spire, but the nest site is obstructed
A crashing sound can be heard in the distance. Its difficult to determine which direction because of the reverberations from the mountains, but it sounds large. Also, there are no birds around.
>>53769Tracy curses to herself as she realizes with comically sudden clarity that this trip to the mountains was even more poorly planned than her last one.
She looks to the fluffy heads of Sam and Bunny sticking out the window, as she ponders what to do.
[1d20+23 = 30]>>53771"Bucking horseapples!" Tracy curses with sudden alarm, realizing she's not in good company.
She looks around, slightly panicked, as she wonders how she could hide a cart so Yuge.
Search check for a hiding spot, because why the hell not.
>>53772In the distance, a humanoid appears to be flying around in a searching pattern. He's too far to make out well, but he maneuvers about with speed and expertise.
[1d20 = 16]>>53773As quick as she's able, Tracy finds a ditch-like spot and begins piling any/all stray feathers onto the cart, trying to make it look as natural as possible
>>53774Tracy, in slight panic, tries her best to wheel her cart off to the inner-side of the outcrop. She tosses her tarp (the one made from ponimaru's and coppers skins) over the exposed side of it, and tosses her entire bag of Dust of Illusion onto it, attempting to make it appear as a rock.
>>53775... Or that, whichever seems more feasible.
>>53776Oh, thats way better. You get a much better bonus to your check that way. Okay, that should be good.
>>53778Tracy makes sure to put the tarp over the window, in attempt to make her birds fall asleep in the darkness (chicks are like that, but idk).
"Quiet, angels" she whispers, as she carefully closes the curtain.
I'm going to assume that Tracy shuttered the windows; it wouldn't do to have fuzzy bird faces sticking out of a large rock if she's engaged in a fight
>>53779K yeah
>>53780Does Tracy have time to make her own Hide check?
[1d20 = 11]>>53781Roll it
[1d20+24 = 26]>>53782Rollin' to make self scarce.
>>53783Not the best roll...
>>53783As Tracy does her best to make herself scarce, the scent of a new creature enters her perimeter of scent sense. Its very high up, and it makes no sound, but its very detectably in the vicinity, except she can't see anything there.
>>53785>perimeter of scent senseSo like ~60 ft up/away?
From her poorly-rolled but skillfully-found hiding spot, Tracy does her best to observe the creature. She draws and knocks her composite bow with a poisoned arrow as she watches the sky and focuses on the scent of the flying creature.
[1d20+18 = 20]>>53786Wait, 60 ft isn't high up. Nevermind.
Tracy watches carefully, squinting to get a look at the creature, to at least determine its size or movements
Spot check
>>53786I reiterate, she sees nothing. The air is absent any creatures, but she can clearly smell something is there
A slight jingle of chain-mail reaches Tracy's ears as the creature flies closer to the "rock", apparently having noticed it.
>>53789Tracy grits her teeth in frustration as she realizes that her chances of being able to advance or even retreat with her birds in tow are next to none, with that flying whateverthefuck on the loose.
"Shit!" Tracy curses under her breath, as she aims her bow towards the sound, realizing her little jig is up.
Is she within ~30 ft of the "rock"?
>>53791Uh, sure, she hid immediately after concealing it, so she'd be right there.
"You find anything yet?" a low and deep voice calls out from distance.
>>53792'Oh, great, a search party.' Tracy thinks to herself, realizing that this isn't going to be as simple as sniping some solitary flying beast
She draws her little animated bowgun-arm-thing out of her bag, letting it rest beside her, as she prepares to engage her now plural enemies (sure, they might not be enemies, but >9 Wis)
And for the heck of it, Detect Good
"No," the creature calls back, resuming visibility. Its a large muscle-bound humanoid with pale blue skin. Its head has small horns atop it, and its eyes are like black pearls. In a sheath slung over its back is a fine great-sword and it is wearing a well-crafted suit of chainmail. It eyeballs the "rock" one last time, squinting at it for a moment, and then flies up and toward his associate. They begin a conversation about the overall goods and resources they have accumulated in this particular "raid". In the distance, a trio of far more primitive looking giant-kin wearing skins and carrying clubs guide a herd of wild cattle, all roped together in a line.
[1d20+18 = 28]>>53794Tracy breaths a sigh of relief as she feels her angels are undiscovered for the time being. She carefully observes the four large creatures from her hiding spot, her ears perking slightly at the mention of a "raid".
Listen check to eavesdrop on conversations, if any.
>Stupid Questions:It was flying earlier, right? Does they all have wings? Which direction are they herding the cattle? Is there another path, or are they on the same one? Does the surrounding area seem to provide sufficient cover for Tracy to trail the ones on the ground?
>>53795First off, there are 5 of them. Two of them are fancy, three of them are durpy, and there's about 2.5 dozen dire cows in the mix.
They do not have wings, but they clearly do and are flying with ease and finesse. They are herding the cattle in Tracy's general direction. The surrounding area might provide cover, to be determined as the area Tracy has decided to hide the rock seems to be along the group's continuing path.
The area in question is something of a clearing, in that it is a patch of relatively zero grade, as opposed to the surroundings. The "rock" is situated toward the lower end of the clearing, nestled between two other smaller rocks, and blends nicely with the scenery. The clearing is about 50' wide and has a few evergreen trees and shrubs here and there, with soccer-ball sized boulders dotting the surface of the ground.
As the primitive ones approach, dutifully herding the cows along, they take note of the clearing and begin speaking to the flying ones in a gutteral language. One of the two, the one who hadn't been invisible, responds in the same language.
"Grog ug ug sit the fuck down."
"Groog ug smash quit being a bitch."
"Ug ug No u."
>>53796>herding the cattle in Tracy's general directionNoted.
Seeing as how she has no means of moving her birds undetected, Tracy decides to stay put hoping her creatures may move on without noticing her birdies. She lays low, and waits for the troupe to move their beasts past, eyes and ears focused on the two fancy ones,
praying her plan goes better than the 4CC games.
The one doing the talking looks more refined than the other two, with more intricate necklaces and skins. It has a pair of leather vambraces and a other bits of armor in addition to its apparel, and its Great-club appears to be an unusually dark tree. I mean its literally the pounded down remains of the root-structure of a tree, and the tree is the shaft.
>>53800'This guy has some cool taste..' Tracy thinks to herself, as she watches the party draw closer.
"We sit nao! Eat nao!"
The two flying ones look to one another and briefly converse.
"Fine. Slaughter one of the cattle then, we've netted almost double our expected score." They continue to discuss in not-really-clear-but-kinda-interpretable giant-speak. This draws hoots from the other two shabby giants, which briefly startles the cows.
One of them winds the cows around a tree (in a spiral spreading outward from the tree), tying the second to last one to the outer rim of the spiral, and then cuts the last one free from the line and leads it to the middle of the clearing. At the same time the other shabby one digs up some fire-wood from the surrounding area.
>>53802'Oh great, looks like they're having a picnic nao.' Tracy thinks with a sigh, realizing that she's in this for the long run.
She looks closely and watches to see if the hungry giants are coming any closer, before settling down in the grass observantly, trying to make herself semi-comfortable, to avoid straining her limbs.
She watches.
For the record, I'm designating them as 2 Shiny ones, 2 Shabby ones, and 1 Not-So Shabby. They're all giant-kin, you probably already know what they are, but I'm going to avoid going with specific terms and try and do more of visualizing description rather than saying "They're these guys".
>>53805All Tracy sees is five big burly monsters who are almost definitely too big for her to take on by herself. She's taken slight interest in them though, and she's observing from a distance.
>>53804Picnic time indeed. After a bit, the massive creatures assemble a sizeable pit of firewood, which they set roaring. At the same time, the unfortunate cow has its neck broken, and is subsequently butchered (crudely) on the spot. A few choice bits are eaten immediately by the shiny ones, but the Notso otherwise sets to cooking the food with a fragrant collection of spices.
>>53806At this point they're all settled within 50 feet of her, the shiny ones having settled on the ground.
>>53805If we're being honest I have no fucking idea what they are
>>53805 forgive my shitpost Not-So Shabby leader standing by. All giants report in.
Shabby-1 standing by...
Shabby-2 standing by...
Shiny-1 standing by...
Shiny-2 standing by...
Unfurl your weapons into attack position.
>>53807What time of day is it btw? I figured some time in the afternoon.
>fragrant collection of spices*stomach growls*
"Oh shoot, there go the cravings again."
[hushed hungry horse noises]
Tracy continues observing the herding party, trying to fight-down her irrationally ravenous pregnancy cravings, as she pays closer attention to the shiny giants who appear to be in-charge to her.
>>53808Splendid. The other shiny one has an intricate Great Mace slung over its back. All five of them appear to be warriors more or less, though the shiny ones have obviously magical abilities. They banter back and forth, mostly the pairs talking about w/e and occasionally referencing eachother's conversation while the notso continues impromptu-barbecuing the food.
>>53809KEK, good shit
>>53808It's better that way.
As the preparation continues, the two shiny ones draw lots for meat, and the notso designates his choice. The remainder falls to the shabby ones, who don't seem to agree on how to divy up the remainder.
>>53814Now I have a strange feeling that you know...
Eh, whatever.
Torc returns to inspecting the airship before take off
[1d20+21 = 30]>>53812Tracy creeps closer, ever so slowly, drawn in by adventurous curiosity and definitely
not the smell of delicious barbecue. She circles around the trees, hoping for some cover as she observes the picnickers.
Rolling to move silently.
>>53817Tracy would've put her bow away by now, since she needs all four hooves to move at her full speed, and she knows ranged combat is a retarded idea.
As the two shabby ones continue to bicker, one ultimately challenges the other one in some manner and they take positions in the clearing.
[1d20+4 = 5]>>53819Sense Motive check, to ballpark-guess what they're about to fight over.
>>53820I'm pretty sure you fucked that up
The grey circles are large rocks, the red circle is the "rock", the blue circles, which have flown to elevation for safety are the shinys, the green is notso, and the beige ones are the shabby ones which pick up boulders and face eachother from a distance.
>>53823>>53820Tracy watches dumbfounded, having absolutely
no idea what the shabbys are about to do or why.
[2d20 = 35]
They both puff out their chests at each other, clutch the boulder as tightly as possible, and roar as intimidatingly as possible at one another for a moment, before the Notso waves his hand and they simultaneously throw their boulders at one another.
[2d20 = 32]
One boulder glances off one while the other takes a solid hit in the gut.
After a moment to sturdy himself, he roars, which is repeated by his opponent and then the other creatures.
The two again pick up boulders.
[1d100 = 45]
And this time the other shabby one gets hit good
>>53826Overtaken by her cravings, Tracy wishes she had popcorn. Having none, she just covers an onion in chocolate syrup (pregnant women always have chocolate) and munches on it, as she watches the two go at it.
Oooh. Ooooh. Uhm,... he didn't make it. The previously undamaged creature took the boulder right to the face. There is a moment of stunned silence as his oversized frame comes crashing to the ground, along with the boulder, his forehead distorted inwardly.
>>53828>pregnant women always have chocolateThis game never ceases to make me kek.
Torc heads off to find Infernius or Trump, leaving Snek watching the airship
The now victorious shabby cheers in triumph, while the shiny ones emit impressed cheers of enthusiasm.