ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition
Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....
1402 replies and 177 files omitted.
>>54439DC for her Cause Fear is 10, although all of her enemies take a -2 penalty on all saving throws 'cuz Aura of Despair
[scary pony noises]
[1d20+1 = 6]>>54439Especially raw onions.
Okay, the Death Gaze is a standard action, as is the fear effect, so only 1/round. Rolling to see if he died
>>54444>dem quads... I wan't meaninh to kill him.
>Death GazeI was using Doom: Causes enemy to become shaken...
Do the eyes of Doom have a Death Gaze Effect?
>>54444Quad of fours, Shabby is gone, but not from our hearts!
>>54446Oh, whoops, I was thinking Finger of Death for some reason.
Shabby is not kill, he's just hella shaken, cuz for a moment he really thought he was kill
>>54447We are gathered in the sight of God, to mourn the
second passing of Sir Shabby.
He was a good ogre, with plenty of layers. And he died as he lived, surrounded by onions.
F
>>54449Oh well, it would have been a good funeral...
>>54448That was close... you got to stop giving Shabby the finger, man...
Trumpaladin's faggot screams internally
>>54448Tracy looks Shabby dead in the eye, and pushes to him object with an ungodly look that passes beyond cultural borders
>'Eat the fucking onion!' >>54451You chose to ride the airship. You can take some boredom.
>>54453I like how the Arcane Sight would make her eyes glow slightly.
>>54455Double dubs speak the truth
But speaking of boredom, Stix is stuck wandering a forest with no idea if he has made it to his destination. Will this be the last of poor Stix?
>>54452Do I need to roll an intimidate check to make shabby eat the onions?
>>54457>Arcane SightStop pulling more shit out of your ass
>>54460It was one of the permanent spells she asked Torc to put on her.
Snek looks very smug as Torc flips a table. Fake paper money and cards fly everywhere, and some plastic houses hit Trump.
>>54458No, he started following a trail of gibberniggers. We'll get to that in a bit.
>>54452Ogre shakes his head fearfully
>>54461No, you don't just fucking have a thing because you think you asked for a permanent spell. You never asked for that, for one, it didn't happen, there'd be consequences, and GM never approved it
>>54464That sounds deadly to me.
>>54467Well I sure as shit don't. When did that allegedly happen?
>>54466That's not what they're called, that's what we've taken to calling them. Besides, Stix is completely unaware of that tidbit, that was just a teaser to the other players
>>54468When I wanted to shed levels, but then decided against it...
wait...
[1d20+4 = 7]>>54464Sense motive check, to try to figure out why this ill-guided ogre doesn't understand the glory of onions.
>>54471Onions are love, onions are life
>>54473And yet you still didn't get it
>>54473Get levels in cleric and make your god Onions>>54473Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I really want a bard level
>>54474*offers ogre-sized parfait*
Everyone like parfaits.
>>54477He doesn't seem interested in the parfait.
>>54479Hates onions and parfaits? What kind of monster is this?
Meanwhile, Trump, Torcuil, and all assembled arrive at Sparintenar to a massive fanfare. The Sparintenar group retire to their respective squads n shit, while Trump and Torcuil (and Infernius?) are give proper rooms to rest and retire before a phatty banquet.
>>54479>doesn't like parfaitWell wtf does he like then?!
Tracy appears greatly frustrated, and decides to leave the ogre to his own devices as she resumes her lonely lunch. She returns to the table in the mess hall to finish her mystery-meat sandwich, alone, again.
>>54482Well shit. Glad to see he is popular. Are Renquist or Baz around?
>>54480Ikr
He's too pathetic to kill.
>>54482>banquety
I just wanna go learn gnomish engineering
>>54483As Tracy sadly makes her way, the ogre takes the opportunity to run flailing out of the Tower and ff to parts unknown.
I am sad for Tracy, but it wasn't going to happen. The thing had 6 Int
>>54487Tracy summons a dire rat to eat with her.
>>54491
>both serial killers
I didn't know there was a competition.
>>54489Hey, where'd these feels come from?
>>54491"You didn't get told to "stay behind and watch the kids"
make sure nothing eats the port," Thez mutters to no-one in particular, re-entering the tower.
>>54495At least she got talked to...
Tracy decides to test out the goat figurines to see if one of them will eat lunch with her.
>>54497Only 2 remain. Torcuil took the one with the really long horns, and Thez took the wee one with little nub-horns. There's a large one with twisty horns, and a medium sized one with rams horns.
>>54498Did any of the Sparintenar soldiers have anything to say to Trumpaladin before entering the city?
[1d20+21 = 25]>>54498Use magick Device check, to figure out how to activate them.
>>54500That should be enough to activate blindly, iirc.
>>54502The one with the curly horns.
"So, a banquet? I thought you said I could just drop you off."
Snek slaps Torc for being a lil bitch
>>54503It has the word "Infuego" carved on the bottom
>>54505"Infuego!" Tracy says, hoping doll might respond to his name
>>54506At the speaking of its name, the statue crumbles, and instead a gaseous form coalesces, then shifts into a material form, and appears as a giant and ridiculously muscle-bound goat with steam drifting off of it.
https://youtu.be/Dp0Bt2cbcc8 >>54507Trumpaladin looks around for Baz or Rehnquist, and tells attendants so
>>54509I don't get it
>>54510Oh its not that bad, its just an ill-tempered nightmare-goat
>>54511>I don’t get itGoats are stereotyped in cartoons to eat tin cans
>>54511Goats chew on tin cans.
*offer head of lettuce as follow-up*
Does he appreciate the can, or is he like that autistic ogre who doesn't like parfait?
>>54515Fucking unappreciative ogres
>>54515Oh, he eats it. I don't get the meme, but he crunches the can up like cardboard.
>>54517M8 this is fucking pre-memes
>>54517Tracy puts on a look of satisfaction and gently pets the big goat on the head as she turns to the second figurine.
>>54519>Goats are allegedly indiscriminate eatersGoats will eat pretty much anything they can chew and swallow
>>54521She's not taking them, she's just eating lunch with them.
She chooses Infuego.
>>54521See you guys in 10 hours...
>>54521WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB
>>54524See ya
>>54524>10 hoursDon't expect me until afternoon, and I'll be intermittently available
>>54525>>54526>>54527I was referring to the 10 hour video
>>54526You know it makes you giggle
>>54528>delayed kek>>54529I will admit, I do get a chuckle
https://youtu.be/eGslweDOihsOne of these days I'm gonna compile a 4chan's greatest hits playlist and force my coworkers to listen to it
>>54532Tracy activates the other goat and eats lunch with them.
>>54532>>54521I shall hold out indefinitely
>>54532I would die if you logged on one night and said that you did it
>>54533https://youtu.be/x6TCnh5B8-wAs Tracy activates the other statue, ambient music suddenly starts up. The Goat materializes very much like it appears in video, and behaves comparably, accompanied by the strange music.
>>54535My ninja-shitpost station is not complete yet
>>54537There's not too much to it. A burner "pay-as-you-go" internet phone account (card), a tethered laptop, and an extension cord running down under my machine. I gotta check fluid levels every 1/2 hour or so,....
>>54536Tracy, Impressed by his performance, offers the goat a tin can, and a parfait, which she also gives to Infuego.
What's this goat's name?
>>54541And that's a surprisingly fitting name given his actual abilities other than being loud and comically annoying