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Season-4-Character-Cluster-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-37465977-1024-604.png
Contrarian, Cancerous, and Contentiously Contrite Nuts
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.53728
53730 53731 53737 53744 53745 54297
ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition

Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....


1402 replies and 177 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54441
>>54439
DC for her Cause Fear is 10, although all of her enemies take a -2 penalty on all saving throws 'cuz Aura of Despair
[scary pony noises]
9hwZT
?
No.54442
[1d20+1 = 6]
>>54439
Especially raw onions.
Okay, the Death Gaze is a standard action, as is the fear effect, so only 1/round. Rolling to see if he died
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54443
>>54440
Which one?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54444
54445 54446 54447
And shabby is kill.
Again
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54445
>>54444
Check'd and kek'd
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54446
54448
>>54444
>dem quads
... I wan't meaninh to kill him.
>Death Gaze
I was using Doom: Causes enemy to become shaken...
Do the eyes of Doom have a Death Gaze Effect?
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54447
54449
>>54444
Quad of fours, Shabby is gone, but not from our hearts!

Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54448
54450 54452
>>54446
Oh, whoops, I was thinking Finger of Death for some reason.
Shabby is not kill, he's just hella shaken, cuz for a moment he really thought he was kill
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54449
54450
>>54447
We are gathered in the sight of God, to mourn the second passing of Sir Shabby.
He was a good ogre, with plenty of layers. And he died as he lived, surrounded by onions.

F
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54450
>>54449
Oh well, it would have been a good funeral...
>>54448
That was close... you got to stop giving Shabby the finger, man...
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54451
54455
Rarity_screaming_S2E10.png
Trumpaladin's faggot screams internally
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54452
54453 54459 54464
green fire.jpg
>>54448
Tracy looks Shabby dead in the eye, and pushes to him object with an ungodly look that passes beyond cultural borders
>'Eat the fucking onion!'
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54453
54457
we nightmare nao.jpg
>>54452
Wrong pic
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54455
54458
>>54451
You chose to ride the airship. You can take some boredom.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54457
54460
>>54453
I like how the Arcane Sight would make her eyes glow slightly.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54458
54464
>>54455
Double dubs speak the truth

But speaking of boredom, Stix is stuck wandering a forest with no idea if he has made it to his destination. Will this be the last of poor Stix?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54459
>>54452
Do I need to roll an intimidate check to make shabby eat the onions?
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54460
54461
>>54457
>Arcane Sight
Stop pulling more shit out of your ass
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54461
54465
>>54460
It was one of the permanent spells she asked Torc to put on her.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54462
54463
Snek looks very smug as Torc flips a table. Fake paper money and cards fly everywhere, and some plastic houses hit Trump.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54463
>>54462
kek
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54464
54466 54471
>>54458
No, he started following a trail of gibberniggers. We'll get to that in a bit.
>>54452
Ogre shakes his head fearfully
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54465
54467
>>54461
No, you don't just fucking have a thing because you think you asked for a permanent spell. You never asked for that, for one, it didn't happen, there'd be consequences, and GM never approved it
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54466
54469
>>54464
That sounds deadly to me.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54467
54468
>>54465
I remember doing it
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54468
54470
>>54467
Well I sure as shit don't. When did that allegedly happen?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54469
>>54466
That's not what they're called, that's what we've taken to calling them. Besides, Stix is completely unaware of that tidbit, that was just a teaser to the other players
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54470
54473
>>54468
When I wanted to shed levels, but then decided against it...

wait...
wRUJL
?
No.54471
54472 54474
c8a6e8066cebc1f05479356972b7b652c47b50c686f9b439d732c540bd1f5ebc.jpg
[1d20+4 = 7]
>>54464
Sense motive check, to try to figure out why this ill-guided ogre doesn't understand the glory of onions.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54472
>>54471
Onions are love, onions are life
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54473
54475 54476
>>54470
It's only 1000 XP.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54474
54477
>>54471
He must be cepaphobic
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54475
>>54473
And yet you still didn't get it
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54476
>>54473
Get levels in cleric and make your god Onions
>>54473
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I really want a bard level
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54477
54478 54479
img_6903.jpg
>>54474
*offers ogre-sized parfait*
Everyone like parfaits.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54478
>>54477
And yes, I'm serious.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54479
54480 54483
>>54477
He doesn't seem interested in the parfait.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54480
54485
>>54479
Hates onions and parfaits? What kind of monster is this?
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54481
Where's Mr. McRib?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54482
54484 54486
Meanwhile, Trump, Torcuil, and all assembled arrive at Sparintenar to a massive fanfare. The Sparintenar group retire to their respective squads n shit, while Trump and Torcuil (and Infernius?) are give proper rooms to rest and retire before a phatty banquet.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54483
54487
>>54479
>doesn't like parfait
Well wtf does he like then?!

Tracy appears greatly frustrated, and decides to leave the ogre to his own devices as she resumes her lonely lunch. She returns to the table in the mess hall to finish her mystery-meat sandwich, alone, again.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54484
>>54482
Well shit. Glad to see he is popular. Are Renquist or Baz around?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54485
shrek-the-halls-sad-donkey.jpg
>>54480
Ikr
He's too pathetic to kill.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54486
54488
>>54482
>banquet
y

I just wanna go learn gnomish engineering
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54487
54489
>>54483
As Tracy sadly makes her way, the ogre takes the opportunity to run flailing out of the Tower and ff to parts unknown.
I am sad for Tracy, but it wasn't going to happen. The thing had 6 Int
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54488
54490
>>54486
This is Sparintenar
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54489
54495
881289__questionable_artist-colon-wootmaster_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_belly button_birthday_cake_candle_clothes_food_lonely_monochrome_panties_pu.jpg
>>54487
Tracy summons a dire rat to eat with her.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54490
>>54488
That's my point
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54492
No waifu.jpg

Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54493
54494
606742__semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-aryanne_artist-colon-randy_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_big eyes_blood_face picture_female_implied violence_i.jpg
>>54491
>both serial killers
I didn't know there was a competition.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54494
>>54493
sighs
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54495
54496
>>54489
Hey, where'd these feels come from?
>>54491
"You didn't get told to "stay behind and watch the kids" make sure nothing eats the port," Thez mutters to no-one in particular, re-entering the tower.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54496
>>54495
At least she got talked to...
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54497
54498
Tracy decides to test out the goat figurines to see if one of them will eat lunch with her.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54498
54499 54500
>>54497
Only 2 remain. Torcuil took the one with the really long horns, and Thez took the wee one with little nub-horns. There's a large one with twisty horns, and a medium sized one with rams horns.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54499
>>54498
Did any of the Sparintenar soldiers have anything to say to Trumpaladin before entering the city?
wRUJL
?
No.54500
54501 54502
[1d20+21 = 25]
>>54498
Use magick Device check, to figure out how to activate them.
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54501
>>54500
That should be enough to activate blindly, iirc.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54502
54503
>>54500
Which one tho?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54503
54505
>>54502
The one with the curly horns.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54504
"So, a banquet? I thought you said I could just drop you off."
Snek slaps Torc for being a lil bitch
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54505
54506
>>54503
It has the word "Infuego" carved on the bottom
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54506
54507
>>54505
"Infuego!" Tracy says, hoping doll might respond to his name
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54507
54508 54509 54510
>>54506
At the speaking of its name, the statue crumbles, and instead a gaseous form coalesces, then shifts into a material form, and appears as a giant and ridiculously muscle-bound goat with steam drifting off of it.
https://youtu.be/Dp0Bt2cbcc8
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54508
>>54507
Trumpaladin looks around for Baz or Rehnquist, and tells attendants so
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54509
54511
tin-can-500x500.jpg
>>54507
*offers tin can*
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54510
54511
>>54507
>tfw you summon the baphomet, aka satan
This ought to go well...
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54511
54512 54513 54514
>>54509
I don't get it
>>54510
Oh its not that bad, its just an ill-tempered nightmare-goat
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54512
>>54511
>I don’t get it
Goats are stereotyped in cartoons to eat tin cans
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54513
>>54511
Goats chew on tin cans.
*offer head of lettuce as follow-up*
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54514
>>54511
How do you not get it?
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54515
54516 54517
Does he appreciate the can, or is he like that autistic ogre who doesn't like parfait?
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54516
>>54515
Fucking unappreciative ogres
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54517
54518 54519 54520
>>54515
Oh, he eats it. I don't get the meme, but he crunches the can up like cardboard.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54518
54521
>>54517
M8 this is fucking pre-memes
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54519
54521 54522
>>54517
Goats are allegedly indiscriminate eaters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqYQJv_uG7o
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54520
54521
4007778084_e8c4be1200.jpg
>>54517
Tracy puts on a look of satisfaction and gently pets the big goat on the head as she turns to the second figurine.
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54521
54523 54524 54526 54534 54556 54668
>>54520
She doesn't get both!
>>54519
Noted
>>54518
https://youtu.be/7bzG8JQn-pI
This might help
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54522
>>54519
>Goats are allegedly indiscriminate eaters
Goats will eat pretty much anything they can chew and swallow
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54523
>>54521
She's not taking them, she's just eating lunch with them.
She chooses Infuego.
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54524
54525 54526 54527
>>54521
See you guys in 10 hours...
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54525
54528
>>54524
See 'ya.
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54526
54528 54529
>>54521
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB
>>54524
See ya
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54527
54528
>>54524
>10 hours
Don't expect me until afternoon, and I'll be intermittently available
Anonymous
0d6AS
?
No.54528
54530 54531
>>54525
>>54526
>>54527
I was referring to the 10 hour video
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54529
54531
>>54526
You know it makes you giggle
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54530
>>54528
Kek, I missed that one
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54531
>>54528
>delayed kek
>>54529
I will admit, I do get a chuckle
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54532
54533 54534 54535
https://youtu.be/eGslweDOihs
One of these days I'm gonna compile a 4chan's greatest hits playlist and force my coworkers to listen to it
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54533
54536
>>54532
Tracy activates the other goat and eats lunch with them.
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54534
pinkie_pie___suspicious_by_darkomegamk2-d489uqy.png
>>54532
>>54521
I shall hold out indefinitely
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54535
54536
>>54532
I would die if you logged on one night and said that you did it
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54536
54537 54538 54540
>>54533
https://youtu.be/x6TCnh5B8-w
As Tracy activates the other statue, ambient music suddenly starts up. The Goat materializes very much like it appears in video, and behaves comparably, accompanied by the strange music.
>>54535
My ninja-shitpost station is not complete yet
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54537
54539
>>54536
>ninja-shitpost station
You cannot say that and not explain
Anonymous
/A8XB
?
No.54538
>>54536
I SO WANT THIS GOAT!!!!
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54539
54542
>>54537
There's not too much to it. A burner "pay-as-you-go" internet phone account (card), a tethered laptop, and an extension cord running down under my machine. I gotta check fluid levels every 1/2 hour or so,....
Mrs. Sentry
wRUJL
?
No.54540
54541
>>54536
Tracy, Impressed by his performance, offers the goat a tin can, and a parfait, which she also gives to Infuego.
What's this goat's name?
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54541
54542 54543
>>54540
Urrshurr Xp
Anonymous
tFvLF
?
No.54542
>>54539
Huh
>>54541
So creative
Anonymous
9hwZT
?
No.54543
54545 54547
>>54541
And that's a surprisingly fitting name given his actual abilities other than being loud and comically annoying