/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

>>49304
>>49305
[Man on Mare sex noises]

>>49306
[At-ease monster noises]
"Yeeeeeessssssss... Pay good attention to those tracks of land, hoo-man.."

>>49307
*plows*

>>49308
[*Snorts smoke in approval*]

>>49309
*rubs horse clit with fingers while still deep in*

>>49310
"~Hmmmmm...! That's not going to get you out from under there any faster, eff why eye." She coos teasingly
"Now put your hands back on those tracks."

>>49311
*sighs*

"Okay..."

*puts hands on horse rump*

>>49313
"please no bully... I thought they were different on a horse than a human..."

*pulls out an empty potion flask to collect mare milk in*

>>49314
"Actually... what have you been eating? Eww, nah"

*puts flask up*

Random factiod about 5th century mare-milking (Warning: Will ruin mood):
>Kumis is an ancient beverage. Herodotus, in his 5th-century BC Histories, describes the Scythians processing of mare's milk:
>Now the Scythians blind all their slaves, to use them in preparing their milk. The plan they follow is to thrust tubes made of bone, not unlike our musical pipes, up the vulva of the mare, and then to blow into the tubes with their mouths, some milking while the others blow. >They say that they do this because when the veins of the animal are full of air, the udder is forced down. The milk thus obtained is poured into deep wooden casks, about which the blind slaves are placed, and then the milk is stirred round. That which rises to the top is drawn off, and considered the best part; the under portion is of less account.
I fucking love reading history.

>>49315
[sad monster noises]
"..Black mare's milk is supposed to be really valuable..."

>>49316
"Uh... I can't really blow from my position. Take this instead"
*thrusts penis*

>>49317
"Aww. Okay..."

*takes flask back out*

*puts hand on teat*

*begins to milk mare*

>>49318
They're supposedly really, really difficult to milk normally, but I think you've found a special trick.
"~Mmmmmhh..! Oh, yes, keep doing that..! They've been so, so sore lately, and I could never reach them we'll enough..! ... Fuck, yes!"

>>49319
*Continues thrusting penis to relax mare*

"There you go. Let those teats down and let it out"

*rubs, caresses, then squeezes crotch tits, aiming them into the flas*

"I-if you do that i'll.... Ah.. Ah.. ~Aaaaah..!! Oh Faust..!"
*Milk begins to dribble out*

>>49321
*rubs firmly, then squeezes firmly*

"Let it out in big, beautiful streams"

>>49322
[Straining monster noises]
*Twin Jets of smoke stream out*
*Twin Jets of milk stream out as well*
"..Ah Aaaaaaaaahhh!"
*Squirts*

>>49323
"Woah girl!"

*tries to collect both quickly pulling out a second flask*

>>49324
"T-t-t.. Take it..! Take it all..!" she stutters out, her voice shakey

>>49325
"Oh I'll take it all"

*rubs harder*

*squeezes harder*

*humps her harder*

>phone runs out of power
*faggot goes to bed*

>>49327
>>49326
"wait, fuck!"

*Lets forth his own white milky stream, deep in horse*

>>49300
"I didn't shrink!" She objects,... but then thinks for a moment about how much fun it would be to be hidden in Infernius' pocket, and decides not to further argue.
>>49296
Not expressly. I mean, I don't know how much xp the temple is worth, she's just tired of never being able to advance anymore and the only way she's going to is by removing levels. Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.

Thez curls up in Infernius' pocket and goes back to sleep. while GM ventures off to meatspace

>>49329
>Fighter was the first levels she got, and compared to her other experience goes otherwise unused.
Obligatory Chad Fighter meme.

>>49329
Infernius should get one of those baby-holders, so Thez can ride him. He is a whole size class larger than her, after all: big enough to ride.
Either that, or give him a backpack with a chair and handlebars, like Master Blaster.
I'll stop now...

How long does it take to activate an item with a passive affect, that activates "on command"? I think it's a free action, but i don't want to waste my next turn.

>tfw do math and realize that Tracy, at full size, can carry Trumpaladin at 500 ft (100 squares) per round overland, even in full-plate, after a full-round action to speed up
>Can get up to 510 ft, if he ahem spurs her, for one round
Holy horse. Should've avoided flying altogether and just overrun/trampled all of those skeletons to get to the lich last time. They would've reached her that much faster.

>>49333
>>49333
I like this idea.

>>49345
I think Thez could benefit by being baptized into Football

>>49349
>>49351
Who is who?

>>49352
I am me.

Can someone explain the astral projection spell to me? Is it supposed to be for extraplanar travel? I've never used it, because I didn't know what it did.
Actually, may as well try it because Crimson skies.
*Astral projects*

>>49354
Oh, I see. It's like Plane Shift, only tougher to fortify against.
You basically manifest a second body on another plane, and fight there like in a video game, am I right?

>>49355
Basically Plane Shift, with a safety net.
Much more useful than I previously thought.

>>49355
One of its fun features is that it leaves the body vulnerable on the material plane

*pulls out marker*
\r

>>49357
It's a good way to avoid dying and losing all of your stuff in your home plane though.

>>49355
*returns to body*

>>49357
*lays back on ribcage slightly*
"Do eep those gracious hands occupied, Flashy."

>>49361
Can it take me to hyperborea?

>>49362
As far as I know, it projects a copy of you to any plane, including the prime material plane.
What is hyperborea?

>>49361
I meant Hades.

>>49363
(((https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperborea)))
Antarctica.

>>49364
Hey can you make this better i still dont have my pc.

>>49366
I'm feeling lazy tonight, so this is all you're getting for now.
I tried to recolor the dick, but it looked brown, and I didn't feel like saturating it.
A bull's dick looks different btw.

>>49353
I am him
>>49363
That sound intresting
>>49367
Doesn't a bovine dick look like a tentacle?

>>49368
>tentacle
A bit, I guess.

>>49368
just figured out how to have Tracy go on long missions and still be able to feed her birds.

>>49370
I swear if you fucking leave again

>>49372
Sorry about that...
I'll try not to.. If meatspace doesn't get in the way.

>>49370
Get a maid. The physical body is paralyzed while astral projecting. Also she doesn't have at will astral projection

>>49371
>pretending he doesn't like it
[flirtatious nightmare noises]

>>49374
Yeah, but she could do it at least a couple times a day. She'd only need to hide in a hole for 15-20 minutes.

>>49375
[crushed paladin noises]

>>49377
*gets up slightly, but not enough to let him escape*
[giggles]

>>49376
>leaving her body vulnerable for 15 minutes at a time
Actually this could be pretty fun

>>49379
*smushes under tracks of land*

>>49367
Thanks

>>49381
You're welcome.

>>49380
[smushed reeeing sounds]

>>49334
Depends on the item, probably a standard action
>>49336
Fun fact, remember how I was saying movement should be double on the Ethereal plane? I got it mixed up with the Astral plane.
>>49354
>Crimson Skies
Oh that, that ended a while ago

Oh, and Torcuil spontaneously has an aneurism and dies.
>inb4
Cuz I had "You are a pirate!" stuck in my head all goddamn day.

>>49385
Aneurysms can happen anywhere, anytime. That's what makes them so terrifying

>>49384
>that ended a while ago
Wait, wat? Can we still chase the mage?

>>49387
*takes 10 to fast mount horsey*

>>49384
>standard action
Like, a ring that activates on command, like a Ring of Spell Turning.
Can you not take any other moves while activating your item?
>>49388
>not rolling
*shrinks*
*gets between legs*
*grows*

>>49387
Of course. I should clarify, the Crimson Skies is a meme from an old 1st person MMO. Whenever the programmers had to update or whenever they wanted chaos, they would engage Crimson Skies, where the sky would turn red, respawn was turned off, and it turns into a giant ffa. At the conclusion, everyone reverts to where they were when the sky turned red.
The crimson sky has nothing to do with the mage btw.
>>49389
One can move 5' and they can utilize any number of quick actions, but otherwise no

>>49391
Can Tracy activate her ring while she's running down this hallway?

>>49392
"Take it like a Mare! That's what Fort saves are for. You don't need no 200,000 GP ring you received for free. Now quit wasting time, and find this bastard. Giddy up!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G79UKneSjDQ

>>49393
Well, she's only running, so you could roll to control her during your turn while she activates it.

>>49394
Actually, you shouldn't need to roll to control a mount that's already running in one direction.

>>49393
*giddy's up*

Spell resistance doesn't apply to area-affect spells, right?

>>49397
Unless otherwise stated, yes
>>49394
The temple is not spacious enough to allow riding a hoers

>>49398
Surely you mean it isn't large enough to allow a horse to run

>>49399
No, I mean the ceilings in the hallways are not tall enough to allow Trump on a massive Cauchemar to run freely through the place

*contemplates phasing through walls and making a bee-line towards the mage*

>>49385
TOO LATE, I HAVE ALREADY WON
>>49386
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mx0iVZ1a9jc

>>49400
Maybe if he keeps his head down?

>>49403
If you roll a DC 15, you can drop down and hang from her flank, as you would when using her body for cover.

[1d20 = 5]
>>49404
Rolling to ride horse's ass

>>49405
That's good enough with 10 ranks in Ride

Would rolling to save from an aneuism be constition aassed?
>>49373
Oh don't be sorry, it's fine if you have too but don't leave permantly if you have too. At least check in everyonce in a while
>>49407
>JRHNBR

>>49403
>>49404
>>49405
Rly? Okkay,....

>>49409
.. Was I mistaken?

>>49410
No, you're correct; I didn't realize "cover" riding was an option but,....

>>49405
When I said "flank" I meant the side of her torso, but I guess that works too.
>>49411
but...?

>>49411
Huzzah!

>>49412
I tried to look for pictures of that, but I couldn't find any, even though I think the Mongols used it in battle

>>49412
Butt-scratcher
https://youtu.be/Tkd9ycxCJBI
>>49413
I know the maneuver you're talking about

>>49413
Mongolians know where it's at.
>lvl 20 Ranger

>>49415
That was just an excuse to post that pic..
It's from the 2016 World Nomad Games.
Good show, imo.

>>49415
When you play the Civ 4 Realism Invictus mod on an Earth Map, often the Mongolians or the Bactrians (a Central Asian civilization) will happen upon a unit promotion that gives their fast horse archer units several extra first strikes. It's absolutely terrifying, they can kill your heavy infantry units without taking any damage at all, they'll conquer or burn pretty much everything and can send whole hordes into Europe

>>49368
>>49369
Infernuis's is a horse Dong.

>>49418
Uh huh

[20d1 = 20]
>>49419
Ah, good times

>>49417
I'm not sure if you're referring to a videogame, but I distinctly recognize the battle strategy.

>>49419
Not any more.

>>49417
Ive only played civ 5

>>49418
Yeah, kink aside Thez wasn't diggin' the tentacle penis. Hoers-cock was agreed upon
>>49419
There was that one time

>>49424
...With the Adolf mod

>>49422
How do you not recognize "civ 4"?

The strategy is kill everyone
>>49424
The mods to Civ 4 make it truly amazing

>>49425
I Didnt want it either, im not trying to be chtulu.

Hey Brad change my flag to a swastika.

>>49427
Is it on steam?

>>49429
Civ 4 probably is (I would be shocked if it isn't). The mod is available for free on download

>>49429
I belive it is.

>>49431
Nice flag

>>49425
Sex with animals is pretty disgusting, really.

Unless it's a horse

>>49433
Hence the hoers-cock

>>49432
Thanks
>>49434
This.

>>49437
I don't know how else to get to /test/, half of the time.

>>49437
He's trying to summon a dev to grant him a wish, I believe

>>49437
This confuses me

Praise Epona

>>49443
I just mean, every time there's a >/test/ link posted, I venture over to see if there's game-related material,... and am sad.

>>49445
I conduct hypothetical battles with dice rolls on /test/ sometimes...

>>49445
Sorry..

>>49445
Check now

>>49447
No need to apologize. I'm just saying I struggle to determine the intention. Knee-jerk, I assume that there's topical/relevant info.

I hope to fight something juicy next weekend. I'm hungry for XP.

>>49451
>Hungry for xp
You've said that already

>>49448
>GM is never satisfied
>>49450
Kek
>>49451
Don't worry, the ginger/banshees pretty much guaranteed that

Can someone tell me what kind of creatures the jibbernigger from in the forest are? I've been trying to figure it out for 6 months.

>>49454
Jibberniggers

>>49453
Whelp, I can't say I haven't been preparing for this

>>49454
I thought they were Gibberlings?

>>49454
Gibberlings

>>49457
Ah

>>49451
>>49453
Well we are all here. Is everyone free?

>>49459
I have a headache, but yeah, I'm free.

>>49459
Who's to say I actually am here?

>>49459
Not hardly. I have to be in bed 3 minutes ago I'm never on time, but still

>>49462
Sleep well then.

>>49463
You too. Don't worry, there will be murders tomorrow

>>49464
But I have a night class

>>49464
Great.
I wanna turn this dungeon to rubble asap.

>>49462
Night
>>49466
RIP

>>49466
Alright, well tomorrow will be the preliminary murder. I don't know how long it will take the party to engage and resolve the significant murder. I can say tho that it won't be immediate.
The temple is a bit of a beta-test desu, attempting to gauge "Yo, just how extensive of a dungeon is feasible/viable?"

>>49462
Night thez and gm.

>>49469
I just have class from 5:45 CT to 8:00 PM CT. Then free until Monday Afternoon

>>49472
Noted, I'll avoid drinking until you're out of class Xp

>>49473
Yay

>>49475
Thez likes sleeping in Infernius' pocket btw
"Go to sleep faggot!" she admonishes

>>49476
Some has gotta craft that Thez-holder/saddle asap. The image is too funny to pass-up.

>>49475
We all do, we all do

Just remember whose waifu she is

>>49477
A very long time ago I was going to get Trumpaladin a strap so he could carry around Tracy like a rifle

>>49478
This is why I think she should be smol sized.

>>49478
>Cucked
Luna isn't my waifu, believe it or not.
I'm just really, really, really serious about the one-waifu rule.

>>49480
The file name for that one was created as a companion to another file and filename when I originally posted it a few months ago. Pic related is the other file, which shows that the 56666 post I made beat out a post you tried to make for the 6666 post

>>49479
I guess I can kind of see it

>>49481
He was able to throw her in the second encounter of the game, so she has to be pretty light.

>>49480
Then who is your waifu?

>>49482
It's a classic maneuver known as the waifu toss. It's difficult to say exactly how big she is, but more than 50 lbs and less than 100 lbs

>>49484
I'm still unsure about what I want to do with this character after he's reached level 20. Until then, I'll advance him in Paladin, but after that?

The Divine Emissary Epic Prestige Class looks just about ideal. The problem is, it has a prerequisite base attack bonus of 23, which is not available at level 21. The High Proselytizer class looks even more desirable, but it requires "the ability to cast 5th level divine spells" which is absolutely impossible for any class besides a level 9+ cleric, because the Paladin spell list ends at the 4th level. He's not even remotely eligible for any other SRD epic prestige class, or even any SRD prestige class.

Epic Paladin exists, but damn it's meh. It only gives half the base attack bonus of the heavy fighter class-type I want, and I won't even get the base attack of 23 until the 25th level. It also gives piss poor bonuses to saving throws. There's no extra smite until 6 levels are taken, and no new spells. It does have the benefits of having the normal class skills, a bonus epic feat after 3 levels (which I love) and the levels stack with the smite and lay of hands ability, so there's that.

So basically that leaves multiclassing. The shortest rout to base attack of 23 is through taking levels in Ranger or Fighter. Ranger has better reflex saving throws than Fighter, and if I'm going to invest three levels in fighter, I may as well give him 4 levels so he can be eligible for the sexy +2 damage bonus from the Weapon Specialization Feat (which is exclusive to Fighters). He could also gain the fighter bonus feast needed as a prerequisite to Legendary Dreadnaught. On the other hand, he could get a 4th level in Ranger, and be eligible for an animal companion. (I think GM may be tired of that by then). Neither ranger nor fighter have Diplomacy or sense motive as class skills, which is annoying. Another alternative is giving him 4 levels in Rogue, which would allow him to gain a gorrilion skill points, do 2d6 sneak attack damage (he's not stealthy, so maybe not that useful, but damn it would be fun to add to a Smite Evil strike), and also that uncanny dodge ability, which is nice. It's a tiny bit annoying that Rogue adds smaller hit die, but it's okay I guess

>>49485
Reflex saves don't increase via class after ebin level. It increases, but not by class.
>2d6 sneak attack damage
Come to the dark side and immediately get 7d6 Sneak Attack damage. Make mounted Sneak Attacks from Tracy's Smoke Concealment.
>he could get a 4th level in Ranger, and be eligible for an animal companion. (I think GM may be tired of that by then).
I can't imagine what kind of monster an ebin-level Druid Would have if a Paladin could have a Dragonne at lvl 5, desu...

>>49480
The one waifu rule is the best rule, any more than one is Negro tier.

>>49487
This.
Polygamy is for mudslimes.
A waifu is sacred beyond measure: one cannot divide his commitment.

>>49488
This isnt a personal attack on brad either, its the truth hitler would be disgusted that people have more than one waifu

>>49476
>tfw when i went to sleep after thez said to
>>49488
Who is your waifu?

>>49487
>if a Paladin could have a Dragonne at lvl 5
We started the game at level 12

>Reflex saves don't increase
Well that doesn't make much sense. Even with Divine grace and a cloak of resistance, he'd need a perfect 20 to save on an Ancient Red Dragon's fire breath, never mind a great wyern

>>49487
>>49488
Wrong

>>49489
He'd of changed his mind if they had ponies

>>49491
>he'd need a perfect 20 to save on an Ancient Red Dragon's fire breath
That's because Ancient Red Dragons are insanely powerful, and their breath weapon is like a volcano erupting at you.
Saves do increase after lvl 20, but not the same way they do pre-ebin lvl:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Epic_Level_Basics
Ebin lvl changes the game pretty drastically: it's where the real legend begins.

>>49491
No he wouldn't, and it is nigger tiee open your fucking eyes you are being kiked.

>>49493
This.
Hitler would be able to tell which pony were the best for him, and would be committed to her.

>>49492
Well fuck that. May as well just go straight Epic Paladin then

>>49493
Well someone's jelly

>>49494
It is complete commitment, just to multiple ponies

>>49495
Im not jelly, thats kike logic.

>>49496
Im trying to help my fellow whites get unkiked.

>>49495
>complete commitment
>multiple ponies
Pick one.
To be completely committed is to put one pony above all others; to revere to a single pony a /bestpone/. By having two, even if equally committed, you deny them total commitment by being committed to another.

>>49499
Stahp. No natural armor

>>49502
Fae gets it, why shouldn't Tracy?

>>49503
In pony form, because that was never agreed to. In full form, because the 3.5 edition already gives Nightmares an unreasonably high natural armor bonus that is very nearly equal to Fae's buffed AC

>>49504
Fae already has twice the natural armor as a standard mount.
>that was never agreed to
Wasn't she supposed to get everything from the class but the Str increase and the hit dice?

>>49505
We can discuss the privileges of Church Membership, but no, she doesn't get every benefit in Pony form, only Command and the Empathic Link (and probably Improved Evasion and shared saving throws, but I don't know).

The benefit in full form is that not only is she a Nightmare, she's a greater Nightmare. A beast that is larger and stronger than most dragons below the adult stage. In fact, I did some math. A Cauchemar deals 52 damage if all attacks hit in a round, whereas a Juvenile Silver Dragon only deals 42, and also has a lower AC. In fact, a Cauchemar Nightmare has a CR rating of 11, which makes it the same as a Young Adult Blue Dragon, a Juvenile Gold Dragon, and well, a lot of shit. And while we're on the subject, even though a dragon is 33% faster in a straight line, it's not even remotely close to being as maneuverable as a Cauchemar

>>49507
A Cauchemar also has the same CR as an Adult Black Dragon

GM, did you say the cattle prod was ranged or melee?

>>49509
Melee i think.

>>49507
>she doesn't get every benefit in Pony form
Why? There's nothing about her in her pony form that makes her less eligible for it than Fae.
>>49509
Yeah, he said melee.
Might be able to upgrade it into a ranged rod, if you work on it long enough though.

>>49511
>There's nothing about her in her pony form that makes her less eligible for it than Fae
If you were a god, would you just give free super powers to a rogue of opposite alignment who will just use it to do things contrary to your mission, or is even willing to go find other gods to serve - gods with opposing values and goals?

>>49507
>Comparing Nightmares to teenage dragons
Nightmares are the superior species.
Equine master race.

>>49510
>>49511
Maybe I cnn come to a compremise where Pence Memes cause it to shoot arcs, but usally its just a cattle prod

>>49513
Well, yes, but my point is that the arrangement as it is is already a pretty sweet deal for both parties, and you should be satisfied