What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.
Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.
The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
>tfw trying to sleep but "elves" keep stepping on you
GM, could Torc possibly craft those orbs that Temptest uses at the begining at the movie?
Can you give a picture? I missed those beginning scenes
Either them or something along those lines. It depends on exactly the effect you're going for. They appear to encase the victim in crystal or stone, and there's a number of spells that use that type of effect or something similar.
I can't find a pic, but imagine a small black orb with a fragmented green crystal inside>>44902
Yeah, I was going for the encasement
*rubs ana's stomach,and then puts ear up to her stomach*
>>44895 →>Don't see her as stuck up
That's probably the wrong word. Maybe more like "judgemental." In her limited dialogue she expressed disgust at Trumpaladin's sex with Tracy (she went back on this when she figured there was a religious purpose to it), disgust at the suggestion of keeping the sloppy remnants of the Tarasque Football, and my favorite line from her - the condescension expressed in saying "I'm surprised to see the blue one didn't eat you" to Slovenia when they first met. It's like GM's idea of Lawful Good is "condescending and self-righteous." I love it
.>Mythril is expensive and time consuming
Pfft! Even with a large sized non-humanoid it's only like 4800 for Fae and 5600 for Trachemar. And if Lenos can't make it quickly, I bet the gnomes can. Besides, I've been trying to set up a metallurgical industry in Port Barry. Surely they can do mythril smithing>it should at least be able to negate touch-range attacks
Can it? I mean, it's kind of intuitive that Mounted Combat represents a rider moving the mount out of the line of Attack, so maybe it increases the Touch Attack AC>Trumpaladin can train for it
I'm not sure what his next feat should be, but I really want Weapon Finesse for him and Vanderiem. I am not sure if GM will let me take that as his racial feat. Fae should train for Hover, Fly-by attack, or Improved Grapple
So, is the party ready for the crawl yet?
Its not so much that thats my impression of Lawful Good, its how I imagine Fae might respond to such,... diverse behavior from a paladin and the party he interacts with.
Depends what dungeon are you talking about? The trapazoid?
Give me like an hour to bathe and get food or something>>44909
I can just imagine her constant facepalming at Trumpaladin's fuckery
Yes, that one.
Torc's just about to blow it open, right?
High Priestess dander-free Kitty is adorable
Meh. I never interact with her.
I just finished the movie. That was good>>44912
Uh, I guess I am now.
Full broadside + spells?
>>44907>Weapon Finesse for him and Vanderiem
A Bastard sword is nowhere close to a light weapon. It's too heavy to be finessable.
You'd want something like Weapon Focus in bastard swords if you want moar damage with it (he's already gained proficiency, right?)>>44916>>44917
Bring the ship down right next to it, then fire with the canons.
>>44918>inb4 a mythril bastard sword
Full broadside and spells COMING UP
Torc pilots the ship until the temple is at the edge of the cannons range
I'm not starting yet though.
>>44918>>44920>These fuckers are proceeding anyways before I can get my tendies
At least 1. target an area at the precise center of the area between the two far ends where it should be weakest 2. Order attacks with mundane artillery at similar points on other sides of the pyramid so it isn't immediately obvious which side has the breach and 3. Order the General, Ghestapo, Slovenia and whoever to be ready to attack anything that comes out of the breach, and after the party go in, to attack anything that isn't the party coming out
Weapon Focus is what I meant
We're not starting, just getting ready. Go forth, and gather unto you yonder tendies
I literally said I'm not starting yet.
I'm startigg at about 2000est
I've maxed-out Tracy's search ability, so traps shouldn't be a huge issue at the beginning.>>44921
pretty much this.>>44925Alcohol sloshing.
"Reeeeeeeeeeeee fetal alcohol syndrome!!"
She's not that
*gently pinches nipple*
[1d20 = 8]>>44931
"Really?" Grabs and pulls nose-ring.
*goes to the bathaus*
I feel dirty after reading it
YOU HAVE A WAIfU. FUCK HER. YOU ARE IN AN RPG. THERE IS NO REASON TO FAP.
When I want my character to masturbate to Slovenia or some other cute but untouchable pony, I just have him have sex with or sleep-rape Tracy as a proxy. Your character can do the same - except, you know, with Thez
Yeah, I would have much preferred he post something like "Grapples Thez and takes her to the bathhouse" or something along those lines.>>44941
>>44942>>44941>implying hes not rubbing one out to last longer.
Just ejaculate in the waifu twice. My character also does that
That's just one of those things that unless one is careful, they end up imagining before they intend to. I would much rather imagine Thez getting railed by....>>44943
... okay that was a decent save, but still
Nope, fuck this I'm out
Are y'all ready for the crawl yet?
*adds a bunch of mundane bullshit tools to bag*
Hold the fuck on, I'm typing out the initial attack strategy. You'll fuck it up if uyou don't do it right
>>44946>children cannot consent>>44945
"Thez,you,me,my room now!"
No, not yet really, cause I gtg for a while here in a little bit. But I'll broadside the temple
Wait one minute
"Well theres alot of people here. Me sure that they Don't want to hear your screams of passion."
What did you say? Broadside now?
Well, if you wan me too
"Unless you into that."
Just crack it open. We're not going in yet.
f anything comes out, we'll just kill it.
No I have a strategy. I'm writing it up
Her eyebrow twitches and she fights back a smirk, before grabbing his nose-ring again and <whoooof>.
*pulls out BDSM rope*
Alright, so the main reason I did not
want the egg crapped open without my being there was because I figured it would be done wrong. So here's how I
would do it.
First off, before we go in, get Torcuil to reactivate the magic shield on the airship. It's kind of obvious to do so. I have no idea it would stop those flying undead things from flying in, but it would
prevent an ethereal sneak attack, and maybe it would stupify and confuse the enemy the way it did us, just long enough to allow multiple rounds with ranged weapons. That's important because the airship is going to have to be left guarded only with low level NPCs. Also, and this is very important, familiarize at least one NPC with use of the airship controls, so it can be maneuvered while the party is away
Now, how to bombard the pyramid. The Party now has three sets of cannons. Seven from Durpistan, an unknown number in the Jolly Cunt, and the 14 bigger and better ones in the slipper cunt. This allows for three separate sides of the pyramid to be shot at once from different angles. One by the Ghestapo operating the Jolly Cunt, One by the Spartans operating the captured cannons on the docks, and one operated by the generals on the airship. The reason three sides should be shot at once is so that the persons inside the pyramid are confused and unable to tell immediately which side has been penetrated, or perhaps may even believe that the newer shots with the airship cannons are the same as the earlier shots from the older cannons, and thus may not realize the hull has been breached at all. When this is accomplished, the Jolly cunt should be maneuvered around so that its cannons can be focused on the breach, or perhaps the Ghestapo should exit and return to the docks.
As soon as the pyramid is breached, the party should enter. However, once the party has entered, the breech may be used by the occupants of the pyramid to exit and attack the city. To this end, slovenia should keep the trebuchet focused on the breech, and the spartans should focus cannons on it, being prepared for Melee combat if anything comes to the docks. Likewise, the ghestapo should return to prepare for melee combat
The generals will remain in the airship to provide ranged support. They should have masterwork composite longbows, with those who can handle them having higher strength ratings, the far shot feat for a range increment of 165 feet, weapon focus for a better attack, weapon specialization for better damage, and that one feat that eliminates the penalty for shooting at an opponent engaged in melee combat with an ally. I was unfortunately not able to buff them up much for melee combat should the enemy get too close, but they have point blank shot, which gives a slight boost at danger close range. In the alternative, if there are any shots left in the Slippery Cunt's cannons, the Spartans can stay on the Slippery cunt to operate those, and then provide melee support in the Slippery Cunt is boarded.
How could I have forgotten?
The area where the wall should have the lowest tensile strength is the point equidistant between the two ends. So shooting at the precise center should have the greatest effect, as that is likely the weakest point. Shoot that spot above the waterline
Of course, the Generals and other NPCs are ordered to shoot anything undead coming out. They can take a moment to try and see what it is if what exits looks human or like the party members, but otherwise, shoot, with artillery and ranged weapons
Fuck your bans you peice of (CENSORED BY MOD WAIFU THEIF)
Good plan you are gonna wait on me and thez though right?
You should make a /sp/ thread with the best scruffies.
Yeah, but you ignore the fact that the characters still have freedom of movement independent from the group.
It's not your game alone. Let other faggots decide what they want to do with their roles/characters.
Are you planning on having the Gestapo do something?
Jesus Christ let my
character do something. Let me
have time to respond. Please hold the fuck up and let me post on things. Let me
have the freedom to have an input into how the pyramid is breeched
It's not your
game alone either you fuck. Yet you try and relentlessly advance game play when the rest of us are trying to live human lives or are busy typing
Don't ban other players because you don't like what they might do. They can do anything they want.
GM, can we postpone tonight while the children try to settle their differences?
In the meantime, i gtg
So can I you insulant fucker. Now stop trying to fuck everything up for the other three of us by advancing things that affect everyone while we are occupied
Are you still available at 8PM EST?
Ill comply with brads plan seems pretty well thought out desu.
I'm cooking for the family atm anyway.
Do what you need to do.
Postpone how? Do you mean "until tonight" or do you mean tonight altogether?
Characters don't speed-up time by acting. They can only move to a limited degree in the time they have.
How much time does your character have? When you do something with your character that takes an hour, then time in the game has advanced an entire hour. When the rest of us come back and see that time has still advanced an hour, we often can't respond to an event that has already happened, and may even lose an hour
For instance, if you just "crack open" the pyramid without doing any of the preparations described above, you run several risks that could be prevented simply by following the preparations.
Look, I like this game too. And one of the things I like most about it is preparing strategies like I did in >>44960. When you say "just crack it open" cuz' impatient, then I lose my ability to play the game
I see your point, and the game will not resume until everyone is suitably situated>>44982
This is an important point. To some degree, when a character goes off into left field, other player actions and activities can be fitted into the earlier period, that's not always the case.
But is >>44959
Still happening while everyone is preparing?
Who's directing the Gestapo?
Well, since >>44960 >>44961 >>44962
is the preparations I want to do, and because Infernius agrees in >>44978, let's say that Trumpaladin makes the preparations to execute this plan in the lead up to the breech. Because the Infernius character is busy railing Thez, let's say that he gives Trumpaladin authority to use his forces for this purpose
Also, I should have specified this, but the side that the Airship breechs has to be one that can be shot at from the docks and from water, although I guess at an angle. Because of the shape of the harbor, I do think this will be possible, but the forces targeting the other sides will need to be moved to face the breech as the party enters. Since the party will be there to respond to any immediate threats at first, and because the generals will be providing ranged support on the airship, there should be time to do this appropriately
Also, prior to to breech shot, at least one salvo should be shot at the Pyramid from the false sides, so that way the enemy is under impression that the real breaching salvo is as ineffective as the salvos that preceded it, effectively "crying wolf" in cannon shots>>44986
Let's say Trumpaladin is while Infernius is fucking Thez
Why wouldn't they? Especially if Infernius hands Trumpaladin the Fasces, which I'm sure is his standard
Tracy goes to feed her birds.
What time is it in game?
In Ancient Rome, roman cohorts were lead by officers who carried the Fasces. The Fasces is a symbol of Collective Authority rested in and excercised by a single individual. This symbolism is recognized by Infernius.
One of Infernius's Feats is "Standard Bearer." Since it's homebrew, we may as well have a bit more fun with it and say that he is a literal standard bearer. That is, he literally carries around a Fasces that symbolizes his leadership. If it were given to another individual, it would be a clear sign of "I am authorized to lead you on behalf of your true leader while he is absent." So why not do that, and we can have savvy preparations while Infernius fucks his waifu>>44990
I would bet on later morning, like 11 AM or maybe as early as 10
I'd say about noonish, since that would be the best time of day to attack spoopies
Did you ever give that puppy a name?
When did he get a puppy?
Apparently, a while ago.
That was hella days ago, back when the party first liberated the Port from the (((rats)))
I guess I have a neglected Unicorn...
Before he leaves for the docks, Trumpaladin greats Felicia (I think I had him do that earlier in the morning as well, but I am not sure)
"Would you by chance know how to operate an Airship?"
Give her some space, m8. You killed her like 3 days ago.
... Is he still alive?
Also, what kind of dog? Standard, guard, riding?
I need to have a larger dialogue with her about her purpose and goals and such, but I don't think there's enough time. She's perfect for logistical support on the airship, with her telekinesis and all
Yea you have authority while im fuggin thez.>>45001
"An air,... ship?"
A teacup chihuahua iirc
Yeah, but I'm just saying that someone asking you to do things right after you were killed is kind of stressful.
Besides, isn't she a painter?>telekinesis and all
Human NPCs aren't that expensive, fyi.
True. But living in a world where Undead monstrosities come in and suck your souls out isn't necessarily relaxing. Don't worry, she can paint before and after that>Isn't she a painter
Yes. But I recall a certain specific Austrian Painter who served in the front lines for Germany in WW1. She's going places>Other logistics NPCs
I don't know how many we have. I'd love a few to operate ships and artillery while the combat infantry fight>>45004
"Yes, we captured a luxury one from a group of pirates that bombarded us yesterday. Do you not have airships in Equestria? Well... how's the painting going?"
Infernius, gib name!
I'm back who died while I was gone?
Trump points to the thing, cuz why wouldn't he.
"Oh that. I've only heard of such ships, but never seen one before."Just cuz they have them in Equestria doesn't mean she knows what it is
No one yet, but the night is young.
Still waiting to kill shit.
Aim the canons.
I thought Torc was going to be the pilot?
*picks up adorable little horsey, and helps her on*
"Ready for your first adventure? You can help move handles and carry arrows and things for all these nice well-armed men here. Don't worry, you can be back to painting in... I don't know how long. But it's good to be out in fresh air. There's Mountain Dew snacks if you like"
Everyone good then? No rush but,... murder
>>45013>prepares funeral pyre>>45015
I AM THE PILOT>>45014
Torc turns the ship so it is positioned for a broadside
Only while he's on the ship. While he's in the pyramid, an NPC will have to pilot (evidently it won't be this horse). I'm preparing for the possibility that an army will exit from the breach after we've entered and gone down a different hall. It's not necessarily going to happen, but you don't win by making a plan that relies on certain happenings. You win by preparing for the most likely sets of scenarios and making contingency plans in case things go wrong
You have lots
more logistical support than military btw
>>45020>we do have logistical support
Huzzah! Use them for operating artillery and piloting ships
Oh yeah, turn that shield thing back on on the ship
It wasn't a function of the ship, it was a spell
I see. Same order
Torcuil, recreate that magic shield thingy
Can you recreate any portion of it?
Do you need any knowledge ranks to pilot a ship?
Tracy doesn't really have any other responsibilities, aside from raising her chicks.
I don't even know what it was
Do you have a meme that can approximate its effects? Like "you have no power here"?
Nah. This ship was designed to be effortless and stress-less to fly.
I think that one is specifically designed to be piloted by idiots. If you mean the Jolly Cunt, there's got to be sailors around. Also I am willing to bet Slovenia could figure out how to do it well. She's scary sometimes
But it's muh ship>>45030
Uh, give me a minute, I may use "You have no power here" but I have a feeling that would be more of a power drain then stayout sign
Last we knew, it took several casters.
Just park the ship back by the tower. If the temple is anything like the tower, it probably has mechanisms by which the enemies are watching what goes on outside; if not that, the spellcasters in the temple are almost certainly on the lookout.
You can be the air-pilot. You've got the ranks in Engineering knowledge anyway.
That'll work. Just anything to reduce the power of magic creatures who are fighting archers>>45034
We need the airship's cannons just to enter the the pyramid in the first place. And then it's useful for ranged fire support
>>45037>ranged fire support
I don't feel comfortable with having someone fire canons into the melee...
Wizard is best artificer anyway.
The only way we have to enter the pyramid is to shoot the pyramid, and then enter
Yeah, but don't have someone shooting canons after we've entered.
They'll be shooting arrows. Cannons will only be shot if serious shit comes out. And that could only happen when we're deep inside the pyramid. Deep inside
"Hahaha, you have no power here!"
Should the characters meet up on the airship?
>>45043>Should the characters meet up on the airship?
Nah, that'll take a long time.
Just blow a hole in the wall so we can enter asap.
Is everyone ready/present?
We could, although we could also just have the remainder stay near the breach.
Trumpaladin grabs his attack pony and rides his glorious dragon lion to the proximity of the soon to be breach
Infernius is at his friend's house. That's the IP he posted from. So I do not think he is ready
Works for me
Torc grabs the intercom mic
"Listen her fuckers, we have one chance at blowing a hole in these fuckers before they send shit at us. So be ready, and may Kek be with ye. Ready your cannons."
Just have them lining the perimeter with tower shields in tortoise formation, so they can stab anything that comes out.
Any kind of creature that would be able to get through that would be too big for arrows and too fast for canons.
"Uhm, sir? We're right here, you don't need the intercom,...."
The Spartans, Generals, and Ghestapo ready their cannons for the designated time to fire the converted set of salvoes
The Spartans are still here?
Why is everyone in the cockpit?
Oh hush. You play the rogue character with 9 wisdom who just acts on impulse. I play the leader and the planner. You do you and let me do me. You could have commented on any of this shit when I presented it two hours ago anyways
The contingent is, yes. They have not yet learned all of the ways of football
Because its not a cockpit per say, its essentially a platform/podium. The ship isn't super-huge.
"Oh, sorry bout that"
Tracy has 13 Wis.
Whatever, direct them however you want.
I just want to get in already.
Tracy spray-pains a big red bullseye on the area where the group decided to enter (to give torc something to shoot at) and stands back and watches the location with her Spyglass ready to Spot anything that might come out at a moment's notice.
I imagined two decks with a small cockpit room attached to the front.
"Sorry Mr. Snek, I gotta staff you for a while."
Torc grabs the staff and sticks it on his back.>>45057
"Hey! Now we have a target!"
You think Snek could double as a broom of flying?
Anyways, Trumpaladin is on the pyramid bear Tracy where the breach is expected, riding Fae
Eh, maybe some other time
"Where is Infernius?" Trumpaladin asks
Pic is overhead of the flying cunt. The gray circle is the bar/gambling area, the solid gray is the steering platform (wheel in orange). The blue circle is the jaccuzzi. On and there's crappy looking canons
Wait, all the cannons are on one side? Nice.
Man them with support NPCs if possible, and the General's if not
The cannons are semi automated, all u gotta do is turn a crank.
Oh this is even better
Torcuil gets the honors then
Wait, is therr one crank that fires all, or a crank per?
I thought it was changed after that.
Anyway, why would she have a negative modifier on Wis? Sure, she's crazy and loathsome, but she's ridden through everything the /mlp/ fandom has to offer, and she's been to levels on the internet that other ponies wouldn't even be able to get back from.
Her Wis has to be at least 13, because she's been casting 2nd and 3rd lvl Blackguard spells all this time.>>45060>Trumpaladin is on the pyramid
Wait until the canons stop firing first. Tracy's standing back waiting to get first view after the dust clears.
Delete your post so GM will forget
Except for the 3 forward mounted cannons, yes. The cannons are actually more defensive than anything, structured so that if under fire the ship can bank and then release a full volley.>>45069
Its all tied to one. The ship can technically be fully manned by 2 people (one steering, one operating the cannons).
Also, It won't be necessary for Thez to be on the airship, she'll just airwalk to the eventual breach.
>>45070>why is she unwise
Because you insist on playing her like she only has 9 wis. Impulsive and never mindful of the consequences if actions.>casting spells
Because you lie and push boundaries and cheat and do everything you can get away with with regards to everything in this game
This, I based the initial stats off how players played their characters, and then made adjustments along the way. I actually rolled
very few stats.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
Torc turns the crank aiming at the target on the temple
[14d20 = 106]
Dice roll is more of a formality, since you're literally shooting at the broad side of a barn
.... So, she can't cast any spells at all?
And does that mean she's been taking a negative modifier on all of her Spot, Listen, and Control Shape checks?
I can give her my peripat, and she's have 13 wis. but being able to cast Death Ward twice in one day is sexy
If I let Tracy cast spells, do you promise to keep playing her like a knob?
>>45084>playing her like a knob
.. I didn't realize I was doing that..
But the character being impulsive and stupid is obnoxious for the rest of us because it causes fallout the rest of us have to suffer
I'm kidding, but she does act 'ill advised' from time to time>>45086
It's hilarious to me,....
I gotta go for the night guys. Sorry.
Awwww, its okay. See you later.
It's not funny for me
That's why it's a wisdom penalty and not an intelligence penalty
Guys I think he mad
>>45086>it causes fallout the rest of us have to suffer
Oh come on. She hasn't caused very many problems that the party hasn't been able to recover from yet
Tracy has street Wisdom.
>>45098>very many>unable to recover from
That's your standard?>>45099
It's infuriating. How am I supposed to be the grand planner and schemer when she does that?>>45100
Street wisdom would advise her better
Yes.>planner and schemer
Shit happens, m8.
So, how does that barrage affect the tower?
[1d100 = 18]
Alright. Sorry Infernius can't make it, we'll just say he pulled something while sex.>>45103
Well, here's the thing. That second shot was a 1, and the dice roll is to determine "how bad".
[6d6+10 = 34]>>45104
Okay, not so bad. The shell failed to fire properly. Only half of the shots hit the target though.
As the smoke from the initial fire dissipates, the flanking engines begin their initial assault. The Pyramid shows cracks and deformation along the barrage point, but appears to be holding together. Thez <whoooof> appears on the ship, alerted to the activity by the obvious cannon-fire.
Because you keep ACTIVELY TRYING TO FUCK THINGS UP
>>45107>ACTIVELY TRYING TO FUCK THINGS UP
I only try to have fun.
"Well that was disappointing. Can we shoot it again?" Thez asks.
"Hey Thez! Would you mind opperating the cannons for a moment?"
Torc casts meteor swarm at the pyramid
>>45108>>45108>fun at the expense of others
>>45111>at the expense of others
Just keep firing, m8. Don't use-up your spells.
Torc fires again
"Uhm,... okay,.... What do I do?">>45110
Meteor swarm - while a brutally effective spell on hoomans and other things, is not terribly effective against buildings. In fact, it is totally uneffective.
So, while 4 large glowing spheres streak off and collide with the pyramid, resulting in a huge fiery blast,... it appears to have had no effect.
Scaring off the level 7 cleric celestisl during
the undead invasion and not waiting a day to do it later. Setting the supply of wood on fire.
[14d20 = 164]>>45114
That's what I was waiting for. Keep in mind, I did not plan this
No effect? It means that the structure is being bombarded by spheres from 4 different angles now, only one of which actually will cause a breach. And how will they know which one, or that any of them caused a breach, until we are already upon them
That didn't cause any problems. She only left after the battle was over.>Setting the supply of wood on fire.
Even if it hadn't been damp, a whole forest doesn't burn that easily. Wood supply was never threatened.
I think only the ships canons are able to damage it,. The trebuchets aren't doing anything.
Okay. As the second volley fires, a number of things occur. First and most obvious, is remember that canon that misfired? BOOOM.
Secondly, especially with that 20 there, the second volley successfully rends a hole in the side of the pyramid.
I'm assuming that the assembled siege engines continue their fire, with archers taking position to cover the entrance.
Except on board the airship. The explosion of the second cannon knocks the airship from its position, and the cannons are now pointing the wrong way
The battle is going on right now
You intended it to burn the entire forest down, and you said so repeatedly. You were disappointed that it did not have that effect
Torc jumps up and fights for control of the ship
>>45121>cannons are the wrong direction
Eh, that's okay for the moment
>>45122>The battle is going on right now
We'll survive.>You intended it to burn the entire forest down>entire
She was only desecrating part of it. Merely making a mess.>you were disappointed that it did not have that effect
No, I was bummed that Troll didn't show up.
And it doesn't take long for a response either. Almost immediately, a series of blood-curdling shrieks can be heard emanating from the hole, and a sizeable group of creatures starts to issue from the hole. Some are weird reddish heads that have creepy bat wings and tentacles hanging from them, while others are shadowy forms that don't appear to have any discernable features other than being vaguely humanoid in shape. Both are airborn.
Mount pony, and charge!
Fae is to charge!
Archers are to fire!
[1d20+4 = 12]>>45126
Fire a Screaming Bolt into the Cluster.
Want to fireball these things?>>45126
Order Slovenia to fire the trebuchet at the mass
[13d20 = 163]>>45126
Eh, rolling for archers
[1d20+21 = 34]>>45128
Well, that didn't hit anything, but it should spook them.
Tracy charges on Trump's command.
She lets out a fearsome roar (intimidate chech; demoralize), and looses her chain, ready to attack with it.>>45129>>45130
They're not shooting while we're charging, are they?
Fug, Torc casts Polar ray at the swarm.
Ranged Touch Attack: [1d20 = 9]
Damage: [17d6 = 63]Ice ice baby
The archers are specifically trained to shoot enemies who are danger close to allies. The trebuchet... Well, hopefully it fires at the mass before we approach or it targets a different area
Okay first off, these are undead. They don't fear anything except holy shit. Nice try.
The Generals score several hits, but the distance slows many of the shots down enough that they are avoided.
What kind of munition is the Trebuchet firing? Is it stone or is it pitch (or something else?)>>45132
Targeting a head or a shade?
Also, roll for initiative
Lets go for a head[1d20 = 8]
[1d20 = 20][1d20 = 11]>>45134
The Generals have the far shot feat for range increments of 165 feet, they are firing from up high for a +1, master work bow makes +1 and weapon focus adds plus 1. I would assume the trebuchet would fire a number of stones like grape shot
Also rolling for Fae's initiative
[1d20+6 = 16]>>45135
Do we apply are weapon modifiers to our rolls?
[1d20+2 = 16]>>45136
Frozen, falls into the water with a splash.>>45137
Well Trump goes first obviously>>45140
No, only initiative modifiers (Improved Initiative feat, etc.).
Well, when you are using a weapon.
Kek, but why do you get a bonus?>>45141
How pissed would you all be if you couldn't see these things, but they took some decent damge for 17 rounds?
This form has Improved Initiative.
What spell do you want?
[2d20 = 28]
Okay, so amongst the party I'm seeing:
Either Tracy or Fae, cuz I need sauce on that +6
The other one of Fae or Tracy
Rolling for heads and tails
Heads and tails? Huh?
[1d20 = 1]>>45146
Both FAE and Tracy have +6 modifiers. I didn't add that to Fae's roll, so Fae is above Tracy. Also, roll for Generals
Well, Trumpaladin casts Bulls strength on self and Mount (Tracy)
I really need to know if you guys would kill me for obscuring the hellish demon things
For simplicity's sake. I could tell you exactly what they are, but that ruins the effect.>>45149
I see the improved initiative, but that's only a +1
I was just basing it off of the "Initiative" line beneath the hit dice.
Idk how initiative works...
I think Tracy's faggot is correct on this. FAE has improved initiative as well
Would 4d6 of damage each round change your mind?
[1d20 = 14]>>45154
Oh. Right. Carry on then.
K so final order:
Rolling for archers/Slovenia
I don't really care. I just want to get inside.
If one round away, ready attack. If more than one round away, cast bull strength on self and mount (Tracy)
Yes, 1 round away (especially the way Tracy flies).
The heads start shrieking and spread out toward the advance forces, which seems to be Trump, Tracy, and Fae.
Okie dokie, Torc will cast Incendiary cloud on the swarm, surrounding them in a cloud of embers, rolling for first round of damage[4d6 = 12]
[5d8+20 = 32]
[1d20 = 1]
Thez throws her folding saw, which in flight looks like a bright gold/black tron disk at one of the heads, probably severing it in two unless a 1.
Oh, those heads and tails>>45163>unless 1
Um, I hate too tell you this...
Tracy extends her chain to increase her threat range, readying an attack.
Thez fumbles her folding saw, and immediately starts cursing cuz there's a dimensional lock and she can't teleport to retrieve it.
The shadowy forms start to move as well, spreading out away from the advancing party, and directing themselves toward the archers and siege operators, muttering jibberish and weird sounds as they do so.
The archers and trebuchet have this move, followed by Fae, then Tracy, then Torcuil.
[3d20 = 49]>>45165
Direct Tracy towards Tails forces>>45166
Fae is ordered to charge and Pounce, if possible, in attack on nearest heads. If not, fly and direct towards tails
[1d20 = 3][13d20 = 143]>>45167
Cute horse is ordered for fire at mass towards Tails. Do I roll for that? rolling
Archers target tails forces
Did they get these directions ahead of time, or are you communicating with them somehow?
Since the group split up lets cast >>45162
at the shadow things on Torc's turn.
Eh, I may as well roll for them. Some one has to
The base of the question is: Are they operating on pre-set orders, or are they acting as you direct them? Because there's a big difference to how they might respond then.
Trebuchet misses and rebounds off the pyramid into the water. Several of the archers score good hits, but aside from that 20 none are sufficient to lay anyone out.>>45173
He's sticking with the strategy, which Trump would conceivably have relayed to them in advance
When a Player character has a cohort or followers or NPCs who are allies under their command, these NPCs may be controlled either by the GM, or by the Player who "owns" them. It's the GM's choice in the particular campaign. This GM in this campaign has generally given control to the Player, but really, someone
has to represent these characters>>45174>Trebuchet misses
Aww. Can spartans or ghestapo enter and fire other cannons?
Tracy charges forward waiting to get close enough to attack.
If Trump succeeds a Ride check, can he direct her to attack with her natural weapons during his turn?
It's not a question of who controls them., I was just wondering if they had preset orders or they were waiting for orders.
What is the DC? I think Trumpaladin should have +20 with the shoes and ten ranks. At least I think it makes sense that he would have ten ranks
Also, direct her to do what exactly?>>45177
Oh. I think they would have a "style" which would be grilled into them ahead of time
So Fae, Tracy, and Torcuil
[3d20 = 40]>>45179
If Fae is in range to pounce (160 feet if she can reach by the surface of the pyramid), then pounce on a "head." If not, fly towards Tails
The DC to control an untrained mount with your knees is 5 (move action). You don't need to roll to control warponies or warhorses though.
Unconscious control is 50 (free action).
>>45178>direct her to do what exactly
Easily. Fae makes short work of a head.>>45182
With the chain, Tracy has options for targets. Lucky theres lots of them, and more flap and/or float their way out of the breach.
[3d20 = 32]>>45179
Tracy makes a full-round attack with her uber-chain.>>45183
I don't know how many or where/what they are, but she attacks the nearest thing.
"pls try to prioritize Tails, kill them, and get me close enough to one to kill with my sword"
Tails are coming right for you and likely have more powers than heads. Recommend target them
Aren't the tails the shadow things? Targeting tails anyway
>>45185>'~Hmmmm.. Did I ever tell you how good your kneecaps felt on my abs, ~Flashy?'>>45183>>45184
Tracy complies and targets the tails.
No, Tails are spreading out toward the archers and siege engines. Its the Heads that are going head-on.>>45189
What's Tracy's damage bonus?
That is correct. That is
what you said earlier. Just wanted to be clear>>45190>"WHY ARE YOU SO SEXY! STAHP!"
+10 if she receives her full strength bonus
So, the could works?
H-how do I calculate that?
It's difficult to say because Cauchemar's aren't supposed to use animated chains with their mouths, but the strength bonus on damage from a Cauchemar is +10 on each attack
Its a combination of Str bonus, and any bonus for the weapon (which the chain has a +5). +10 works, I wanted to know how many hits it would take to kill one of these fuckers. With two strikes (since the 3rd missed) that fells one of them.
For scope, there are about 8 tails spreading out (with more coming) and theres about 8 heads doing likewise, but focusing on Trump, Fae, and Tracy.
So Torcuil, you were gonna cloud-nuke?
[1d20+19 = 34]>>45197
She has 35 Str atm, and her chain is a +4 weapon.>fells one of them
Can she cleave that?
Also, can Intimidate be used to taunt enemies towards you, or is that Bluff?
[3d20 = 27]>>45197
She can hold the chain with her claw-hands, and it's connected to her bag.>>45200
First part meant for >>45196
No goddamn it, she doesn't get the full paladin's mount buffs >>45201
You don't get three free shots for one cleave
You cast Bull's strength on her.
Yeah, should I roll again?
If it's not being held by the mouth then she can't get the Cauchemar's strength
I stand corrected. Carry on
An Everwhirling Chain uses its master's stats to attack.
This is precisely the reason I wanted an everdancing weapon, so she could use her hooves for running and not have metal in her mouth.
I intended to get this cleared with you earlier, but what I had intended for the Generals was to give them
Master work Composite Longbows, +1 attack 1d8. Half the forces have +1 damage for higher strength rating
Point Blank shot +1 attack and +1 damage at 30 feet
Far shot: increases range increment by 50%, to 165 feet
Precise shot: No penalty for targeting opponent engaged in melee with a ranged weapon
Weapon Focus (Composite Longbow): +1 on attacks with this weapon
Weapon Specialization (Composite Longbow): +2 damage using this weapon
A was intending to give the quarter of them that were eligible for it the Multi-shot feat, but we can assume they all have Improved Critical as their sixth feat for simplicity.
So an attack bonus of +7 for half them and +8 for half, with a damage roll of 1d8+2 for half and a 1d8+3 for half
The cleave attempt lands, but does not kill. Torcuil casts his nuke cloud, except its range is only sufficient to hit 1/2 of the 8 immediate tails (they went left and right, in the direction of the support-fire). Pick a side.
Whichever side is coming at Torc
I thought Torcuil was on the airship. The tails are spreading out to attack the citizens
For the 90'th time, you do not have an ever whirling chain. And Everwhirling chain costs Market Price: 5,220,325 gp; Cost to Create: 2,610,325 gp + 52,200 XP. You were given Haxx, but you were not given that much haxx>>45212
Pick the side going towards slovenia
Per the Plan, the Generals are on the airship with Torcuil. The docks are where Slovenia is located with the Trebuchet. The spartan contingent should be there as well, although presumably not yet activated because of a melee fighting style and the distance
[1d2 = 1]
>1 is left
>2 is right
M8, I've looked through the comments back then, and you are the only one who has said otherwise about her weapon.
Yes, but he's right about one thing; its kinda stupid-powerful. Consider it a Diet Everwhirling Chain.
Nigger, I Definitely
remember the comment "It's animated in the sense that it can extend 60 feet. It is not an everwhirling chain." This comment took place during the charge on RBG.
If you are claiming 5.2 million GP of Haxx, then I want my 5.2 million as well, or 5 wish spells, or something
I think of it as a spiked chain with reach of 60 ft and not 10 ft
That's pretty much where I'm at. Its not uber like an everwhirling chain, but it does have long reach.
So, what doesn't it have? Does it lose the Defending ability?
She's been using it to attack from 60 ft away long before then though.
The Everdancing feature was the only part I really wanted, desu.
The everdancing feature is the only part I have issue with desu
I don't remember her doing that, but I would believe it, because you lie and cheat and steal and do everything you can to try to break the game with hordes of cheats. You need to be policed constantly
[4d20 = 31]
So Torcuil envelops the left-side tails in charring and damaging smoke n shit.
Only one of the tails has the presence of mind to escape the cloud, while the others take damage.>>45223
That started when she was doing her wilder psychic thing, which,...
So saying, be thankful she can use a 60' chain without penalty.
I guess it can't be helped...>>45226>lie>cheat
That's honestly what I thought it could do.>steal
Anyway, how exactly was it modified back then, if that's the case?
[4d20 = 43]>>45227
Is it my turn or the tails?
Trumpaladin slashes at anything near him. Presumably, Tracy has carried him within range of a Head or two
Just for future reference, is loosing the chain to attack a standard action or a move action now? I would've been a free action, but Idk now.
And, can it still hit adjacent targets?
New round. Its Trump and the Heads.>>45231
First attack misses, but the next two land killing a head, giving a cleave opportunity (before the 20 that is).
[1d20 = 9]>>45232
Cleave-strike lands, but doesn't kill; I'm assuming you're allocating the 20 to finish it?
Kills it, getting another cleave.
[1d20 = 13]>>45238
How many rounds out are the Tails from hitting positions?
In the aftermath of the leading heads dying and getting attacked, several of the heads begin to shriek. Trump, Fae, and Tracy roll a saving throw, adding any charisma bonus to the roll.>>45240
They'll be in range by the end of this round.
Waiting to see if that killed it or not, because she gets an AoO.
[1d20+15 = 18][1d20+20 = 30]>>45241
The lower bonus roll is Fae, and assumes a fortitude save
[1d20+19 = 25]>>45241
Does this count as a fear affect?
Rolling Fortitude, because that's what he said.
>>45244>Forgot to add Constitution modifier
The Cauchemar's 17 fortitude save includes the constitution modifier
Its not a constitution modifier in this case, its charisma based. Also, yes it is a fear effect he says, assuming that Tracy knows what the heads are
If it's a fear affect, Trump is immune, and Tracy gets a +4 bonus to her save, right?
"Noisy fuckers!" Tracy curses
K, so everyone is either immune or saves. Moving on. From the railing of the airship Thez yells, "Oh FFS, just turn the bastards!"
[1d20 = 13]>>45247
That looks unpleasant...
Slovenia targets the Right mass of Tails with spreading shot (15 rocks?)>>45249
"I didn't think of that till after my last round"
[15d20 = 160]>>45250
Should that be 15 separate rolls?
Just Turn them out of the way so we can enter. They're just bats flying out of a cave.
It's not my turn, and we have to deal with these ones first
[4d20 = 38]>>45250
No. Also, its not her turn yet. Thez streaks by Trump, incurring several attacks of opportunity from the heads, making a bee-line for the hole.
[1d20 = 18]
Saving throw vs poison
>>45253>we have to deal with these ones first
The generals could probably handle them.
Let's not burn time.
Just calm the fuck down and let's kill these
[1d20 = 4]
Thez takes a grazing bite as she speeds toward the pyramid.
Now Slovenia can fire spread-shot (please declare this sorta thing in advance, so the crew can conceivably change munition in the same round)
[1d20 = 15]>>45258
Spread shot towards Right side
(I thought it was the trebuchet's default?)
[14d20 = 206]>>45259
Plus 14 other rocks
>>45260>That set of rolls
Thats actually pretty fucking impressive.
Hats off to you
I assumed a single rock was the default.>>45260
e_e We'll consider those the archer's shots, cuz it would be a waste otherwise.
Allips and Vargouilles fall left and right, as the archers continue to pepper them with shots. Most of the advancing enemies are kill or almost. The only pressing threat now is the continuous flow from the hole in the pyramid.
[frisky nightmare noises]>'These things are squishy, ~Flashy..! Let's cut into the meat already.'
*Blows cone of smoke in excitement*>>45260
That outta finish them.
Now let's dive into this sexy dungeon.
[3d20 = 21]
Fae pounces a Head
*Tracy charges into the hole, projecting her smoke cone ahead of her, whinnying in excitement*>>45265
[happy nightmare noises]
>>45266>Not great dice rolls
Uh, her modifier should be +20 +18 +18
[1d20+21 = 29]>>45267
Rolling to Spot anything bigger lurking inside the hole ahead of time.>>45269
*draws sword and kills squishy targets*
Hold your,... self. There's a mob of heads and tails coming out of it still, unless you're attempting an overrun.>>45266
>>45271>Unless you're attempting an overrun
I'm betting yes
Are the Spartans or Gestapo rated as archers?
Not that I'm aware of
"Hey guys me groin stoped hurting, me ready to fight.i didnt have to drive as far as i thought i did.
Come in and kill shit
Tldr what am i killing?
Infernius can't teleport, he's still in the tower. Xp
YAY, THE CLERIC IS BACK
>>45271>unless you're attempting an overrun
Sure. Trample the fuckers.
*blows smoke to fuck-up their attack rolls*>*stompy-stompy*
*Sprints towards the exit*
It's like Vargoilles? Flying undead coming out like bats. Also check out this kiss ass set of rolls I got rolling for the Generals >>45260. I tried to make it a multi-shot for a trebuchet but GM reassigned it to the archers
Lol. Kick ass
Alright. Not to dial things back or anything, but as soon as Trump goes ahead and turns these bitches, the entrance to the pyramid is secure. No casualties or injuries were sustained (except Thez of all ppl) and most importantly, no one got kissed or wisdom drained (they do that btw).
Torc flys to the hole in the wall
For the record, that was my only question; do the citizens and militia take any status ailments, injuries, or casualties. That the party was gonna mob on them was a given.
What happened to muh waifu?>>45260
It is i cleric bull
That is either very good or very bad
Uh... I think the circlet of persuasion adds +3 to turn checks?
>GM assumes that he can forego looking at the fine details of undead turning and just roll>2
She charged through/around the vargs and got bitten trying to engage at the entrance.
Okkay good, the turning check still worked. Vargs shrivel up and collapse with creepy shrieks, and the Allips evaporate.
As usual, the Port Barry citizens are overjoyed and start cheering, meanwhile the dungeon beckons.
Turns back to blow a kiss at the cheering citizens, heroically waves, and then enters the dungeon
Reeee wait for me.
I'm sorry, but this was the best I could do to hold back Tracy's Faggot. He's so impatient he didn't even want to kill this wave of enemies
"Hello everyone, we doing this?"
The entry to the pyramid is a wide open and spacious room. Decayed remains of ancient corpses are strewn everywhere, many without heads. This room hasn't been touched by anything living in,... at all? The stench of death and decay is almost nauseating, and aside from a massive pillar in the center, there are two sets of staircases leading down on either side of it.
[1d20 = 4][1d20 = 7]>>45294
Fae does spot and listen check
"Well this is fucked up. Whose going in in first?"
Uh... +15 modifiers on each
[1d20+25 = 41]>>45292
You'll catch up soon enough.
Better for Tracy to go first, with her Trap Sense.
Rolling Search to check for Traps, hazards, or hidden treasure
, upon entering the room.
[1d20+21 = 40][1d20+21 = 23]>>45296
Tracy does the same
"..I have to say, this place doesn't look half bad."
[1d20 = 19]
Trumpaladin does search check
Target is "What the fuck did this room used to be?" Greater description of room>>45301
*Sad faggot noises*
"I can hear bones clacking against the ground, shifting sounds, some liquid sounds, lots of moaning and spoopy sounds,... nothing immediate however.">>45301
It almost looks like a courtyard or a rooftop, except for being inside.
"You're not afraid, are you, Flashy?">>45304
You'll get there in minutes on Utachit.
Infernius has Natural Cunning too, so he'll catch up to the party in no time in the dungeon.
Aww... I can wait for you
To ask Fae: "Is it in this room?">>45306
"Afraid, no. But you have atrocious tastes"
How dark is it? Is it pitch black?
Torc brings out Mr. Snek and hops on his back>>45302
"Ladys first then"
Torc rolls a architecture check for hidden shit[1d20+2 = 10]
What does the ceiling
of the room look like?
Aside from the light streaming in from the hole, yes. Most ppl have darkvision tho so its not a big deal, and Tracy is on fire.
*Tracy makes a super-saiyan ki-charging pose, and revs up her flames to illuminate the room so her husband can see past his arms*
Understanding the nature of the returned insult, he glares back
[1d20+21 = 25][1d20+21 = 38]>>45313
Search and Spot checks on ceiling, because he asked.
[confused pony noises]
*pets horsey head*
Ever seen the Sistine chapel? It looks nothing like that. In fact, the ceiling is probably the most unmentionable aspect. Its just flat glassy shit.
Its okay brad just protect thez untill i get there.
[confused pony noises]
".. W-would you rather I turn it down, Flashy..?"
*flames fizzle and die-down considerably, leaving the room pitch black once more*
Kek. Yes I have seen the sistine chapel, it was just a question to see if the "rooftop," which seems to be the bottom of the lower overturned pyramid, was identical on both sides, suggesting that the octohedron was two pyramids put together rather than a single structure>>45324
He doesn't need darkvision to give you the stare of death
[sad monster noises]
"... Are you mad at me, Flashy?"
She's confused, because she doesn't understand why he's glaring at her. She only wants to help.
"No no, you're a good horsey"
*Rubs and pats what he thinks is her head and neck*
"So, are we just gonna stand here waiting or are we gonna go in?"
I think that's snake for "fuck this haunted house shit I'm outa here"
"... If you're having trouble seeing, just let me know.. I'm here to help you, Flashy">>45329
Having found nothing on her detection rolls, Tracy advances forward.
I'd try again with trap searching
My snek ain't no fucking wimp...But I would agree>>45331
"Welp, here we go"
[1d20+25 = 32]>>45332
One more Search Check then.
[1d20 = 9]http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Dancing_Lights
This should help with seeing>>45334
Snek the rogue makes an extra search check
"That'll work. Send 'em around the room to help us see what's here.
If we need to, I can cast Daylight so we can light up the room since, you know, I'm a spell caster with a buffed 18 wisdom"
*stares at horse*
You cast spells with memes fuccboi
Torc send the lights around the room, allowing the party to look around.>>45337
Not fucking always you bitch
Thats a clever idea, though not what it is. The ceiling is completely horizontal and does not reflect the pyramid slope.>>45333
For future reference, Thez can talk to Snek and convey/receive concepts and information.>>45335
"I can do that one again!" Thez says, also casting Dancing Lights,... for no particular purpose.>>45337
He can cast them manually too, I just prefer memes, and tend to interpret the dice more favorably (or bypass entirely) the dice with dank maymays.
*walks forward, crunching bones underhoof*
How many corridors are there*
Thats pretty good ironically.>>45339
Yes you do!
It's the payment for being able to cast almost every spell without arcane prep.
*pulls on horse dock to increase the lighting*
The party can see 2 staircases, and upon inspection they lead toward different areas of the pyramid, despite their proximity.
I try to use memes more for combat cause I can think of ones easier.Ya'll are gonna hate my one for this boss>>45344>imply finding memes to satisfy you heathens isn't arcane prep
"Which staircase guys?"
Torc begins walking slowly towards the pillar, Snek in tow
Kek, it is tho, literally
That's exactly the point.
The memes are
the arcane prep.
"Don't they both lead to the same location?"
"It doesn't look like it. It looks like narrow hallways going in different directions from here. They might meet up, but it doesn't look like they're next to eachother, even though they're next to eachother." Thez says looking down one of them.
Oh just wait>stair cases
"I don't know, but the money's on 'no'"
Thez looks at Tracy
"Don't go ethereal unless you have to either, who knows what sort of can of worms that could be."
[1d20+25 = 35]>>45353
Search check to detect man-eating stairs
Tracy slowly nods in response.
The stairs do not appear to be man-eating, and have no traps or shenanigens.
"I KNEW YOU LIBERTARIANS WERE SECRET LEFTISTS!"
"I meant staircase you fucking retard"
"Uh huh. I'm sure you did."
"Do you feel that?" Fae says to Trump. "This whole place has been unhallowed. Turning will be suppressed. Not fully, but with a big modifier.
[1d20 = 2]
Rolling to flip coin
Even is left, odd is right
"Thank you for telling me. It does feel almost like democrat senator's office here"
Thats 2 for the left staircase>>45361
"Oh fuck off and decide"
"I'm okay with left. If its a dead end, we can always go back." Thez says.
"I just don't want to be split up from my mounts. I'd prefer to have the help of the Cleric and the wizard though. Where is Infernius anyways?"
[1d20+21 = 41]>>45366>If its a dead end, we can always go back
*death flags spring up*
Tracy goes in first.
Rolling to Listen for enemies.
FUCKING HELL NICE!
Don't go left.
The staircase would collapse under the full weight of the party, and they would in fact be unable to go backward (and some might take damage) if they were to go left.
Tracy turns towards the rest of the party with as grim, serious expression.
"Let's not go this way."
"The left choice is the wrong choice, and the right is the right choice. Those are the words you should live by. Have none of you remembered this is a den of leftist senators and justices?"
[1d20+21 = 37]
Rolling once again to listen to the other staircase.
"Then why didn't they make it seem like right was bad? Something isn't right...">>45378
[happy pony noises]
Although technically the party can fly or whatever, so they'd still be able to backtrack, but if "walked/crept down" it would be bad.>>45379
Its not a trap, its that this is old AF and crumbling.
[2d20 = 26]
Rolling for Fae on listen and spot on the right stair case>>45380
*pets cute giant horsey ears again*>>45379
"This whole pyramid isn't right... kek, get it? But seriously, they will try everything they can to make the Right look as bad as possible. Don't believe it. It's fake news"
"So we going up?"
From the top of the staircase, Tracy can see that at the end of the staircase the corridor immediately angles to the right and is out of view. She hears complete silence, and can see nothing signiicant.
"If Fae and Tracy clear us, then yes. But I don't think we have any other choice"
Just wondering, does Tracy get any profane bonuses for being a blackguard fiend in an unhallowed environment?
It was said that turning was limited, but what about rebuking?
Thez' head pops out of a shadow in the middle of the party. "There's doors, but there's nothing that needs squishing. Not immediately at least."
Writes note and places it on the Ground so Infernius knows to go Right
"Not like he doesn't know that already"
"I guess we're accending..."
Anyone wanna go first beside the squishy meatbag?
".. Did I do something wrong, Flashy?">>45384
"... I'm not picking up anything.."
Oh yes, Infernius flies HA!
in on Uatchit, cuz I can't imagine him doing anything else given the circumstances.
Do i see the rest of the party?
You have Darkvision, so probably.
"No silly. Let's go in first"
".. You've seemed awfully angry today, Flashy... It makes me worried.."
"Don't worry, I snuck by you and checked it out myself! Did you know shadowdancers can hide in plain sight if they're within 5' of a shadow? This whole PLACE is shadows! In any case, I already went down. I didn't try any of them, but there's a door on either side of the hall and one at the end."
He actually doesn't, but he does have the Daylight spell. Whatever, Tracy should be luminescent and he can hold a torch>>45395
"Yeah I know"
Buries himself in horse fur
Mintaurs get natural Darkvision.
Their Natural Cunning is also useful in dungeons: like a crawfish in a riverbed.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Minotaur
Yes, they're next to a staircase on the right side of the room. Also there's a note on the floor that says "GO RIGHT".
He doesn't get that full set of racial bonuses it's half-orc race. THAT set of racial bonuses is the equivalent of adding two class levels to a character
Half-SJWs get Darkvision too.
And why a half-SJW as the base race?
"No! I'NIS!" and other cautions are heard as Infernius goes Leeroy Jenkins on the left side. Is that seriously what he's doing?
Wow they do. GM said so months ago>>45402
"I was worried if maybe he was too much socialist and not enough nationalist..."
Wait my bad>-1 wis
Why are my jokes being deleted?!
Also, roll a saving throw
My wisdom is bretty güd, Desu
Are you rolling fortitude?
>>45414>Infernius has to roll>Roll dice>>45415
This. He's got better statistics than any other party member. It's Tracy with the low wisdom>>45416
That's a 2. You rolled a 2
I rolled dex, its +10 too.
As Infernius barrels down the left staircase cuz reasons(?) a crumbling sound can be heard beneath him. Luckily, he's in a full on sprint. As he reaches the base of the staircase, he realizes that it has collapsed behind him, but otherwise he's fine.>>45418
I was allowing the dice to decide it was an ebin fail.
*hears crashing and painful mooing through walls*
".... Stupid bull..."
Tracy continues forward.
"HEY INFERNIUS! GET ON THAT FLY OF YOURS AND FLY UP HERE. JOIN THE RIGHT SIDE
"Idiot, I'm fucking amazed"
Torc heads up the right staircase, snek once again in tow>>45424
"Oh, know we're getting puns? Doesn't sound quite right
don't shout, enemies will hear us.
"That fuggin'" Thez says, swiftly and silently diving into a shadow in the direction of the left staircase.
"It fuggin dark down here."
What does the next room/corridor look like?>>45427
Just asking to know. Thez told Tracy not to become ethereal, but can Tracy even use that ability with the dimensional anchor in place?
"I'll send a tweet the next time I need to send a private communication between myself and another individual. It's the way I conduct diplomacy with foreign leaders actually">>45428
"Yeah, the left is a realm of darkness and ignorance. Use the Daylight spell if you really want to. Or a torch. Or just call a fly and it will help you"
"You're about to get left
Casting good spells could alert the enemy of our presence though.
Also, use your detect ebil.
"Me will look around down here for a second.
"Thez me about to cast daylight."
I'm being conservative. I'll wait until you want me to cast it next to one of those three doors>>45433
Trump is not stealthy, and doesn't really understand the concept
Infernius hears a "huh", "huah", "tsuu", and Thez skids to the ground next to him.>>45429
Better point, no. Thank you for reminding me. The area is waft-ish, in that there are layers of dust so fine that they hover in place, resonantly affected by the drats caused by the rupture and the party's interference. This place is old
, and scraps of almost weightless debris sifts by on the ground.
It's an at-will ability. Use it constantly.
"Are you sure your uhm,... leg is alright?"
Detect evil, because why not?
[1d20+21 = 25][1d20+21 = 35]>>45437
Well, full perception, to start off.
Look for anything any everything.
"Yea it okay, it feel better. Me about to cast daylight. So be ready okay?
So where are we going now?
Down the dark cooridor
Holy shit you're right>>45445
We have three doors to chose from
[1d20+21 = 30]>>45448
Rolling to move silently.
"YOU CAN COME UP ANY TIME YOU KNOW!"
>>45449[1d3 = 3]
taking the easy way out of this
no yelling in the dungeon!
"There might be treasure down here."
Casts detect evil again to figure out whats on the other side of Torcuil's door, door 3>>45455
"Don't worry little pony, it's no problem you can't recover from"
*nibbles at arm*
Pic related, rectangles are doors.>>45450
"There's no problem. Anyways, I think the wizard wants door 3"
*nibbles Horse ear>>45458
A second round of detect evil on door 3, to see if anything is distinct in the field of strong auras and unhallow
[1d20+20 = 25]
[1d20+25 = 40]
*inspect closes door*
Rolling Search to peak around corner, and Hide to not be noticed by any enemies.
I fugged-up the order there.
*waits for thez to get ready*
"Nice trips btw." she says covering her eyes.>>45461
Meh, pic related
So, any objections to door number three?
Is the "C" where the party is?
What was behind it?
"Thanks me made em myself."
*Closes eyes and casts Daylight*
"ALL TRIPS COME FROM ELWAY HIMSELF!" can be heard>>45464
Are you claiming you opened the door?
10 min/level. However, the brilliance of it is diminished by way of the extreme unholiness of this wretched place.>>45465
That is where - unless I'm mistaken - Trump, Fae, and Torcuil are. Thez and Infernius are at the base of the other (destroyed) staircase.
That's what I meant to do.
"Implying, Hitler graces us with Digits."
"This is not the path you want to go down, Infenius"
"Cmon momma. Lets go find some treasure."
"Someone open the third door, something tells me thats a good place to go"
"We are both firm in our faiths brad."
And as the daylight did shine forth, several figures could be seen in the darkness beyond Infernius, including several (3) black cloud-formations that really don't seem to prefer being hit by daylight.
"And Elway giveth our daily digits"
"Hitler brings us the digits."
Which one is the 3rd door? Is it clockwise?
[1d20+21 = 24]
Search check to find pots to smash.
Whichever door. The one nearest to her.>clockwise
>>45481>ocarina plays in distance
Draw a sword in case anything pops out to try to suck your soul or drain your blood or turn you into a Vargoille or
drain your non-existent wisdom
"Oh shit charge and attck."
[1d20 = 2]>>45481
Also BTW, those dots at the end of the hallway are a mechanical gate with no observable controls.>>45484
Trump is as usual kek>>45486
As Infernius closes, the wraith gets an attack of opportunity.
[2d20 = 21]
Which sails wildly. Infernius makes one attack (cuz he has to close range to do so) with his not flaming sword and the round ends. Roll Initiative. Dice 1 is Thez
[1d20 = 2]>>45489
Can I roll initiative>>45490
Oh you have to be fucking me
But I can see it going down
Naw, we're in a completely different room.
What did Tracy see/find?
Okay, glad to ignore that 2.
Torc trys to find a way down where the others are
I love you. Even if your heresy has displeased Elway
Tracy is still looking for clay pots and stab-able monsters.
Does she find any?
Does Tracy still have blood after her unarmed-pot search?
Because of that roll, no he can't.>>45496
Tracy finds a room full of mounds of dust.>>45497
Uh huh. It fits in the hallway?
*smash mounds of dust for rupies*
*move to next room*
Can I Intimidate the dust?
The mounds are about 6" deep in dust, revealing the ends of several gilded chests and particularly ornate and fine woodwork.
Can torc seduce it?
This is why Tracy has a 9 wisdom
FUCK YES! Detect evil on "chests"
Oh fuck you...
You know Torc's charisma isn't high enough for dust.
[1d20+30 = 43]>>45512
Rolling for Seduction on chest
[1d20+25 = 32]>>45512
Rolling Search to detect traps/mimics before rapidly ransacking chests
What happens if I hit it with a sword?
Alright, so Infernius and Thez are fighting a trio (its three btw), Tracy and Trump are gettin filthy rich (you guys should roll too).
[4d20 = 47]>>45518
Trumpaladin does not know how to open chests in d&d, so he quick draws Sugoito, and hits the chest repeatedly with it
[1d20+2 = 18]>>45521
I'm gonna regret this...
Rolling to seduce a mimic>>45523
What should I roll?
Isn't it customary to open her first?>>45514
'Twas a joke
[1d20 = 16]>>45523
[1d20 = 4]>>45523
Uh, d20 I guess...
[1d20 = 19]>>45523
But did you see the swduction roll?>>45525
I have Torcuil at the back cuz squishy.>>45527>>45529>>45530
Great rolls (maybe not so much for Torcuil, but what happens is,...
... nothing. It'll be a bit before those rolls come into play.
"If anyone is gonna get a blow job from these mimics, it's gonna be me" -Torcuil, 2018
[4d20 = 38]>>45534
Trumpaladin kills the not-mimic anyways
... Was that a trap?>>45537
No! Don't fug-up the nice chests.
[4d20 = 52]>>45538
I wouldn't except we can't really take it back anyways, and I'm not fully convinced it isn't a mimic or trapped or what have you
Fun fact; chance, skill, ability, or other skill checks can be combined. Meaning, if Infernius wanted to fail at several checks at once he could, while other characters could multi-chad their way through things.
I want to keep the chest, mimic or not.
Alright, Trumpaladin lets mountfu open the chest her way
*mubbles and places suigoto up*
What does that mean? We could do a single roll for multiple checks?>if Infernius wanted to fail at several checks at once>pic related
[1d20 = 4]>>45546
Example. Thez is rolling for listen, spot, sneak, hide, knowledge: architecture, and
Thez doesn't learn much
[2d20 = 20]
Rolling combination Grapple on Horse pussy and Ride check
Right now? Seriously?
[1d20 = 14]>>45550
Wait. That was supposed to be a single roll. Grab'em by the pussy and ride
[1d20 = 15]
Rolling to find a way down not fall on tge way down
Just to test the several checks at once
Oh come on! Disabling getz again?
So Torcuil is going left?>>45559
Infernius displeased Elway with his heresy about GETs
I guess, he's just trying to find the others at this point. Idk where anyone is
Tracy dumps the chests in her bag and leaves to examine the next door.
Dumps the contents or>>45564
And that answers my question
Tracy and Trump and Fae went this way, into the room on the bottom with gilded things and lots of shiny. Thez and Infernius are at the other, facing 3 wraiths.>>45564
Oh my sides
Fug. This is Tracy's side
I'll join Tracy and Trump
Looks like Minesweeper. Sort of feels like it too
Tracy leaves the room after pocketing everything that isn't nailed down.
She proceeds to the next room.
Wait <gasps in laughter> they're big chests! <moar laughter>
[1d20+20 = 25]
[1d20+20 = 39]
Trumpaldin has out Vanderiem, his ring shield of Force, and Fae does spot and listen checks
Trumpaladin does a detect evil in front of the door
>>45580>Faggot, in his half-asleep fog, realizes he hasn't opened them
Do they fit in the Bag Of Holding?
You just now realized you haven't checked to see if there is anything in them?
Hey, its 2:30 give him a break
Its 1:30,you eastern time zone subhuman.
I thought I rolled, but I'm sleepy asf.
It's 2:30 in Florida, m8.
You did do a roll, but GM didn't acknowledge it, so you can try opening it now or... something>>45585
CENTRAL TIME ZONE MASTER RACE!
This might be a good point to adjourn. It would be bad to just tear through the gilded chests, So <boooof> its an anime-style, "end of an episode" freeze-frame
>>45587>Florida>>45590>They don't fit
Works for me, night faggots see youb
I've fit full-grown horses in that bag. These chests must be YUGE.
I recently watched jojos bizarre adventure, its not gay like a lot of weeb shit.
[1d20 = 10]>>45595
Grapples Horse Pussy>>45593
Some of those are really bad...>>45594
Because GM was letting you fiat the size at the time>>45596
Do not trust it. Look harder
Do not trust weeb subversion
>>45597>Fiat the size
It's as big as a broom closet
These chests are YUGE.
[1d20 = 20]>>45597
Str check to trap hand.
>>45604>Vice-like grip of nightmare pussy
You're not getting out of that until or unless she let's him free.
I think that's a nice place to leave off.
The Japanese are our friends.
... How bad is it?
>>45610>Is smart enough to know not to place hand into chest>Is not smart enough to know better than to finger an OP demon horse
It's inescapable, and you know it.
1st rule of dungeoneering: don't stick your hands into holes you can't see into if you're not prepared to face the plausible consequences.
*Powerful steaming glutes shudder feverishly around hand*>Faggot ACTUALLY goes to bed this time
No shit, I'm just wondering if bones were broken...
He's hopelessly trapped, but she's soft on the inside, gently holding him firmly in place. She won't break anything unless something suddenly compels her to clench: then his hand would be kill, because it counts as helpless.
[4d20 = 39]>>45614
Fingers horse anyways
"..W-wait, F-f-f-Flashy..! When you do that it feels...!"
He's done things that would cause her to clench while he was in her before right? So it can't be that bad. Right?>In this thread, Trumpaladin develops a fear of horses>>45616wait until he's a pegasus again after the dungeon crawl
In the 44th chapter of Mixed Nuts (yeah, it's been that long) our fearless Paladin finds himself in peril deep within a pitch-black dungeon. In his attempt to reach out for a priceless treasure, he has found his arm trapped within a particularly difficult trap. He finds his dominant hand trapped tightly within the bone-crushing grasp of Tracy's herculean horsepussy, with little hope of escape. As his hand begins to turn blue and the excruciating pain slowly begins to die away, and he sees his waifu shudder unresponsively, too stimulated and "unwise" to save her beloved.
So, what are you going to do next, Mr. Hero?