Well now. The characters find themselves in an entirely different Rick than the last time they found themselves in a pickle. In this instance, the Paladin has just participated in murder, and it wasn't even the right target! Tracy also has bloody on her hands, but that's old news anyway.
Not sure how its gonna go, cuz some players are indisposed (at the moment) and there's usually hella bantz for every several-hour period, but why wait? ^_^
Oh, if you're new, this is an RP thread based (increasingly) loosely on D&D 3.5, but allowing for any genre or game (but it has to make sense). Feel free to shitpost, or bant, or even join in. Some call this the gay bath-house, but that's cuz they're bored and tired and don't have anything fun to distract themselves with,... like this thread. ^_^
1032 replies and 94 files omitted.
>>40151Infernius kinda killed him a while back. He dies alot.
>>40150Um... My character is here for this
Reeeeeeeee why is there game play while I'm at a bar again
>>40151"um it wasnt what he did to me, its what me did to him, when me was possed by the worm me threw him into a wall head first."
>>40155"What? I'm not sure I understand. What exactly happened to you?"
>>40153Don't worry. He doesn't need to be.
Tracy leaves the bracers and ring in a bag, alongside his lunch on the coffee-table in the room..
>>40153Are there normies?
>>40150This is correct, my bad. It wasn't that Ponimaru died, he just didn't escape (grapples, etc.).
>>40156"the worm was controlling me body for a few days before me almost died."
>>40158What does he say?
Tracy's about to give him hell for tricking her, btw.
>>40160I honestly thought he was gonna plane shift, or else I wouldn't have given out all that free swag. If the worm had taken Infernius back to the Abyss, that would've been probable party-murder.
>>40163That's what I thought too.
>>40138What's his other ring btw? Just curious.
>>40163That's exactly what I thought as well
>>40165I'd have let it happen, but Torcuil made a great move/dice roll with death, and that was some awesome roleplaying.
>>40171Sure
I just realized,... didn't the party revive Cecil? I had forgotten about that.
>>40143Hey.. If you want that staff, c-can Tracy have the orb? The staff has a higher game price. Tracy has all her slots full for everything else, so she's gonna just sit-out on looting.
>>40174Yeah, but then you told us that Cecil's faggot was on meth..
>>40176I thought he was going to be.
>>40177Did Tracy intend the Ring of Evasion to be an engagement ring? She did it a while before the proposal
>>40175I probably shouln't haveAh k
>>40176>>40177Yeah, I forgot about him. I should fix that.
>>40175But the orb has high meme value for the meme Mage
>>40179I know exactly what I want to do with him
>>40178It was a gift to keep him safe: she considers the two to be already married.
Don't throw it away. It's almost definitely worth more than a Ring of Protection.
>>40179He was probably the first to charge the undead when they arrived, but accidentally fell down a well or something..
Anyway, what did Ponimaru say?
>>40181That's omenous AF
Anyway, all three rings are of protection, and the bracers are armor +3/4/5 to Feinstein, Pelosi, and RBG
>>40184"Thank you"?
>>40180He can already cast Control Weather.
>>40185"ponimaru me so sorry"
*hugs*
"me wasnt "me" when my body did that to you."
>>40185"...Now tell me, why was it that you were in the stables dressed-up like that white cunt last night..?"
*looms ominously*
>>40185Fuck yeah!
>>40186Touché. Tracy's it is then.
>>40188*glares at Tracy*
>>40187"This was later revealed to me. There is no foul."
>>40188"She asked me to."
>>40190"Did she mention you'd be killed?"
>>40190"no,no there is foul. me owe you 3 favors as token of an apology."
>>40190"Who are you exactly? I've seen you like twice. You're like a monk or something Thez has been training?
>>40191They didn't tell Felicia that she would be killed
Lenos stumbles through a portal in the control room looking extremely worn and ragged before slumping into a chair
>>40195"What did she do to you?"
>>40195*Puts a hoof over Ponimaru to keep him from slipping away*
"Look why finally got back."
>>40198She's not about to let him ninja his way out of this one.
>>40174>pic>>40175I wasn't going to take it anyway, so sure
Uh, Torc was where that "everyone ded" scene was. Idk wherr he is now.
>>40198"Who is this guy Tracy, and what is your fascination with him?"
\r
*smiles mischievously* made me a very happy guy
>>40191"Certainly not. I'd prefer to have only gotten killed by you once."
>>40193"I have no name, but have come to be called Ponimaru. I provide ninja-support to Thez and Port Barry."
>>40204"Is there a separate faction here I don't know about? Where did you come from? Are you Equestrian? And why is my waifu obsessed with you?"
>>40203"There you are. I need you to set the whorehouse on fire." Thez says. "The port just got raided by undead and it's kinda my fault."
>>40207"We're setting the Brothel on fire?!?!?"
*exited Paladin noises*
>>40202"He's the horse we bought a few months back. He dies a lot."
>obsession[confused pony noises]
"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Flashy.."
>>40204"That slippery cunt..! She did that twice last night.."
>>40207 *big grin*teleport me there and I'll be happy to
>>40209"Yes. That's where all the undead and unrecoverable civilian corpses are being gathered, then everything is gonna be burned, and then Infernius is going to sanctify the area so that this doesn't happen again," Thaz says solemnly.
>>40210"Why were you more eager to see him that day with the trolls than to go with me when I asked? Why do you leave him gifts? Why do you put your hoof on him and keep him from leaving?"
>>40212>>40213"B-but I want to set it on fire"
>>40212Thez grabs Lenos' shoulder and <whooooof> they appear outside the brothel. The Building has all manner of large and small undead piled around it, and the citizens are just finished dousing it in kerosene.
>>40215*glares* I get to burn it or i burn you
>>40214>Tfw no unholy sights anymore[frustrated Blackguard noises]
"Oh well.. She still has her pole."
>>40214>Why were you more eager to see him that day with the trolls than to go with me when I asked?"I hadn't seen him in a while and figured he'd finally ran off. We went together anyway."
>Why do you leave him gifts?"It turns out you can only use one magic hand at a time.."
>Why do you put your hoof on him and keep him from leaving?"Because I haven't finished chewing up this little weeb for tricking me."
>>40218Glares right back at him.
"I'm sorry, which of the two of us is the Paladin tasked with purging evil?"
The kerosene is unneeded but will make a nice addition *casts firestormon the brothel*
>>40220"And let hordes of evil right into the base that way?"\r
>>40223Did not mean to put that shit in quotes.
>>40222"And here I thought you were gonna burp on it," Thez says. The Firestorm is of ridiculous intensity - by way of a few feats - and readily/easily ignites the whole thing. It isn't consumed immediately, but it won't take too long either.
>>40228>>40229i guess i'm not a real adventurer then.
>>40230Well, we haven't exactly gone that many places yet.
>>40230That's cuz you play a cleric who doesn't get drunk.
https://youtu.be/8nxaNJCfGCoHuh. It appears that Port Barry has developed a philharmonic orchestra from left field, who provide musical accompaniment as the building burns.
>>40226 I figured a burp would be overkill *shrugs and looks around for his tankard of ale*
>>40232>a cleric who doesn't get drunkWatch him host the Oktoberfest next year.
>>40236its actually Januaryfest.
>>40236 lenos will happily be a judge
>>40204"So, now.. Tell me, when was it that Troll put you up to that little stunt last night? Did she seem as though she'd gotten wind of something?"
>>40233Lenos returns to Trump tower.
January fest? With equally sudden and from left field as the orchestra, suddenly there's a January Fest.
>>40241"No, she said she had to leave for a bit, but wanted her to seem to be there in case the birds returned to the stable. It seemed an odd request, but I couldn't have imagined I would get killed again for it."
>>40239To Lenos
"How hard is the glass steel that encases the tower? If you hit a single point of it with sustained cannon or trebuchet fire, would it eventually break and a hike be blast into it?"
>>40242"Felicia said almost exactly the same thing. Did she really not inform any of her victims that they were in danger?"
>>40244 *shakes head* I have tried repedely to break the crap here and havent even scratched it yet. Why dp you ask
>>40246"Because there's a pyramid almost identical to this one in the harbor we need to break into"
>>40242Tracy brow wrinkles for a bit, and then lessens. Figuring he's wasn't going to be able to get anymore info, she gives up.
>>40247 just use the temples controls to hack it *with a look of disdain*
>>40248"how did darkie get in the tower?"
[1d20+25 = 39]>>40242Sense motive check on Ponimaru to see if he is bluffing or hiding something
>>40249"Where are the temple controls?"
>>40250He could probably just walk in actually.
>>40250"I asked him. He implied it was through etherealness or other plane shifting"
>>40252 *facepalm* thez do these ones not explore the temple or are you messing with their minds. The controls are in the portal room
>>40254Also this. There was probably an open door
>>40256"I personally find the town more interesting.
How do you get to the portal room when all exterior doors are shut?"
I g2g for a bit.
Tracy leaves to go tend to her birds.
>>40258 oh just open the trap door in the treasury and use the chute
>>40251He's a monk, lawful; he wouldn't lie
>>40256"They can be kinda thick at times,...."
>>40260"lennos will you teach me more about forging later?"
>>40260"From outside? Where is that accessible on the structure?"
>>40260>>40263Wait, are you talking about Trump tower or the pyramid?
>>40262 sure i could do that
>>40263 you use trump towers control room that you can get too through the trap door in the treasure room to hack the other structures controls
>>40264I don't know. I was away the day that was explored
>>40265The Tower, on the theory that the pyramid is identical in that regard
>>40266"You can use this tower to hack similar structures and open their doors?"
>>40266"thanks me love forging."
>>40266Thez has no idea what any of this means
>>40267K. "If not for the Dimensional Lock, I could use a portable hole. Speaking of which, where is my old torso?" Darkie says, twiddling the unicorn horn in one hand. "That's how I robbed the jeweler by the way, completely unwarded walls."
>>40271 thez you really should get around to reading that control manual yourself we have had enough time
>>40272"I tried once, it was really boring. Besides, I can't do magic anymore, so its a moot point."
>>40272>>40272"But you say we can use the controls of this tower to open the doors of others?"
>>40273 thats a fair point ill2give you that one
>>40274 yes but it will only allow you to get inside the other one
>>40276"Well... That's good enough for our purposes.
This may seem a bit off the wall, but where in the tower can I find paint brushes, canvas, and other painting materials?"
\r
>>40277 i would guess somewhere in one of the crafting areas if there are any i dont have a use for that sort of thing unless its to burn
>torso
"I hollowed it out and took it apart piece-by-piece. I only managed to throw a few parts in my bad before the spider crawled over me though. The rest is probably charcoal."
>>40280"Lovely. There was a magical device in there, but that's probably been destroyed."
>>40282*shrugs*
"I only realized it was covered in spiders after I scraped it all out and put on your skin. The organs are drying out in my room, if you care to look."
>>40283"And now I remember why I never go in your room"
>>40284"I prefer to sleep in the stables anyway. It'll be a bit more relaxing until that cunt shows up again."
>>40280"Perhaps another time," he says a bit dryly.
"That reminds me," Thez says, turning to Darkie. "I wanna talk to Spooder."
Tracy leaves towards the stables to check her just to make sure Troll hasn't showed up again.
Detect good once 60 ft away.
>>40287She only sleeps there when she's invited.
>>40288No, Trollestia is nowhere to be found.
>>40288But he asked her to start sleeping there generally
Okay....
"I mean... I thought since we were engaged... That's okay I guess"
>>40291>*comes back*"Except when I'm with you, ~Flashy."
Well, may as well have her go to the holodeck and train for Mobility.
Actually, I'll have her give her birds some exercise as well.
Inferniuos if you wish to learn come to the forge *lenos stumbles off to the forge drinking as he goes
>>40297"me be there in a minute, thez wanted me to hallow the whorehouse."
*goes and hallow the whorehouse*
>>40298"That will take a day to cast, you can do that during the week."
>>40299"me be in forge then if you need me."
Torc wakes up, after being passed out on the street.
"Guys?"
>>40297"Will it be simple enough to make mithril breast plate for my special mount? I mean how long would it take?"
>>40300She's quite busy aggressively conversing with a tiniest spider, barely a speck. "K."
>>40304pali kek
>>40301Wut?
>>40304I fucking swear
>>40304"Get your hands off of me. Where is everyone?"
>>40307Last time someone checked their pockets, Torcuil got laid by death, don't forget.
>>40307"Well with that attitude I'm not telling"
>>40308That was a box with cards in the bottom
>>40309"Well don't touch me"
>>40311"Aw fuck you too"
Torc heads towards the tower
>>40310*Tracy sees everyone walking into town for some reason and decides to follow them*
"Hey, dumb frogsummoner. Good to see you're still alive, I guess.
I found you this wizard-stick."
*tosses staff*
>>40313*catch*
"Thanks smol murder hoers"
>>40314>>40315"What are you guys doing?"
Torc looks ready to flee
Nice roll
>>40315Trumpaladin caries his prize catch back to the tower
>>40316"You did a nice job with that dimension lock. We should be assaulting the base soon.
By the way... Did you summon a unicorn?"
>>40317"Weirdos"
Torc follows them bak towards the tower.
>>40319"Thanks.
Hmmm, a unicorn? Uh, no I haven't. Why, need a unicorn for some reason?"
Is this the kinda thing I roll bluff checks on? >>40320"I mean, if you can summon a female unicorn, by all means! Speaking of which, have you seen Ttollestia recently?"
>>40321"Oh Troll? Not since the battle, he said she had something to do"
>>40320>bluffDon't bother. This guy is so scared of being lied to he put half his ranks into Sense Motive.
>>40323"You didn't see a white female unicorn with a green mane yesterday?"
>>40324That's not the reason why. I did it so it would be easier to manipulate NPCs by figuring out what they want. But that's s good idea
>>40325"No need to worry, little pony. You have me. You don't need to think about her."
*hugs pony with his perfect grapple*
>>40325"Uh, south? I don't know I was occupied."
>>40326"Never seen one like that before."
>>40320Good luck with that, Trump's got hax on sense motive!
>>40329"Uh, yes? Now I get a question. Why do you care?"
>>40330>>40326Fuk u both
>inb4 Torcuil gets a soap party
>The master of a snake familiar gains a +3 bonus on Bluff checks.Remind me to make Mr. Snek Torc's familiar.
>>40332>googles soap partyFirst of all what the fuck
>>40335Pretty sure he already is his familiar.
*brandishes sock*
[1d20+25 = 44]>>40331"I'll ask you again, did you summon a random and innocent intelligent animal as a body double to die in place of a magical beast who could have taken the blows and lived, without telling her what was coming, and without making preparations to resurrect her?
Now, roll sense motive
>>40337Are unicorns even summon-able monsters?
Can Tracy summon extra stuff too?
>>40333>polymorphed*summoned
>>40336"Hey would you look at the time"
>>40337>+25>ethreal is haxKeep telling yourself that
"Intelligent? What?"
Torc teleports to his room in the tower
>>40338You aren't a spell caster
>>40340>You aren't a spell casterYes she is.
Blackguards summon fiends: that's what they do.
>>40338GM will be pissed if we start spamming NPCs he's going to have to write biographies for
>>40342I just want better summoning abilities.
Blackguards really should be able to advance at least their summoning beyond level 4.
>>40342Hey, I asked him first and he said it was fine. Glad I didn't go plan B and bluff the shit out of it
>>40342>NPCsNah, just monsters.
Summoned monsters disappear after their summoning duration is over anyway.
>>40344Legit question Torcuil's faggot, were you thinking we'd just feed the poor mare's corpse to ghouls and she'd just die?
>>40342Oh, cuz suddenly you're worried about causing trouble for GM?
>>40347Legit answer, IDK I wasn't planning on you fuckers reviving her. I thought she was gonna stay dead
>>40350Are you saying that this group defied your expectations and careful planning, cuz that's haram
>>40350>Trading one unicorn for anotherDid you think Tracy would just give up after that?
>>40353And she was just okay with letting someone else die in her place without even telling her?
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!I wanted to kill-off a good character![angry Blackguard-player noises] >>40356Uh, fuck. Idk...
I guess Torc is sleeping on the sofa
>>40356Trump isn't sad about killing her anymore, if that matters