Well now. The characters find themselves in an entirely different Rick than the last time they found themselves in a pickle. In this instance, the Paladin has just participated in murder, and it wasn't even the right target! Tracy also has bloody on her hands, but that's old news anyway.
Not sure how its gonna go, cuz some players are indisposed (at the moment) and there's usually hella bantz for every several-hour period, but why wait? ^_^
Oh, if you're new, this is an RP thread based (increasingly) loosely on D&D 3.5, but allowing for any genre or game (but it has to make sense). Feel free to shitpost, or bant, or even join in. Some call this the gay bath-house, but that's cuz they're bored and tired and don't have anything fun to distract themselves with,... like this thread. ^_^
1032 replies and 95 files omitted.
>>39725You don't have to.
Tracy re-keens her edges and returns to the docks.
>>39731I'm already into it, might as well finish. Besides, its better that I determine these things in the event that she becomes more integrated like Slovenia (who was on the fly, but hasn't - yet - blown up in my face)
>>39731*looks at pony before she leaves*
Alright. Felicia's cutie mark is a paintbrush with paint on it. Also, she's fucking a white mare! and her mane is light green. In response to Tracy's question (before Tracy departed) "I live in Phillydelphia,... or I guess I used to."
>>39737"Oh, been there. Parasprites suck."
>>39737"How did you get here? Did the Wizard summon you?"
>>39738*condescending look*
"You're not going to kill her - again?"
>>39740*confused look*
"... No.. I've got bigger fish to fry anyway."
*leaves to the docks*
>>39739"I'm not sure to be honest. The last thing I remember was being in a horrible accident that GM hasn't yet figured out the nature of. Then I found myself in a small room kind of like these rooms with a bed and a chest, but before I could even look around I was transported to those docks that we
ahem met at. The wizard fellow and the other unicorn were there, and they asked me to keep an eye on the area, but not before casting a spell that altered my appearance. I thought it was all a dream, so I complied."
>>39741Upon nearing the docks, Tracy passes Darkie who has a shit-eating grin on his face.
>>39743"What's so funny, charcoal?"
>>39743"That's... That's very interesting. I'm sorry it is no dream... We probably have an extra room if you wish to stay with us"
Also, is Fae on her way?
>>39744"Its not every day that I get to come up on a unicorn horn! Those things are priceless!"
>>39745Just arriving, yes. Look, there she is now.
>>39746"Yeah, sure. More valuable dead than alive."
Tracy once again begins to look for Trolls scent.
>>39746"Hello Fae... So... I know some of the damage, but what's the state of things?"
>>39746Any chance Darkemeter will return to the tower?
>>39749Of course, what's he going to do, help clean up the port?
>>39748"The city only suffered minor structural damages, thanks to your quick work at the gate. Civilian casualties were kept minimal, due to the organized response from the various groups the party has been cultivating. The whores have been completely and unrecoverably wiped out, as well as a fair number of the Fight Club, along with a few of the Gestapo and the Generals. The monsters broke in from the Ethereal plane and immediately began devouring the souls of the whores and some of the Fight Club. Quickly discovering they were out-matched, Yak Lee led the Fight Club to escape the building and sound the alarm to the various other groups who were already mobilized and were working to escort the civilians to the stadium. Sechs led the resistance as the monsters gave chase, stalling the creatures long enough for the citizens to make good their escape."
>>39747Can she find anything?
Also, Detect Good, to look for any lingering Auras.
>>39750"Brave Souls, everyone of them. I am happy to see our citizens can defend themselves. Are any of the generals or Spartans dead but reserrectable?"
While talking, Trumpaladin goes with Fae to the stables, and encourages Felicia to come as well
>>39751Nope, Troll has apparently put some distance between herself and the general area, out of range of detection spells and preventing tracking via Airwalk
[1d20+10 = 23]>>39753>preventing tracking via AirwalkA flying unicorn had to stand out.
Gather Information check: ask the locals if they say anything flying over, or which direction it went in.
>>39754Not amidst the chaos of the undead, no
>>39755How many Drowners are there by the docks?
>>39756Dozens, but they're just sitting there in the water, as though commanded to hold their position and not issued any further commands.
GM, time to ask the stupid question that no one has asked this far. When Trumpaladin walks into the stables, does he see something a bit like pic related in Trollestia's usual spot in the stable?
>>39758No, Trollestia is nowhere to be found.
>>39759
>Flying
>When you could have done the exact same fucking thing just by standing on the edge of the docks
Okay, but no nightmare Sus at all. You need to learn how to use the abilities you already have correctly
>>39764
>they present no threat.
Are they all re-kill though?
Tracy's faggot hates drowners.
>>39768Just making sure they're all exterminated.
Fucking Drowners man...
>>39760Now go to the main lobby and search for Darkie
[1d20 = 5]>>39767Can Tracy get a better look at the pyramid-thing?
1d20 Search check, because I can't find my character sheet..
>>39772*searches frantically for file*
Just for the clarification, does the +20 competence bonus on attacks granted by True Strike apply to Sneak Attacks?
>>39775Just wondering, because you don't roll for Sneak Attacks.
>>39776Yes you do. It's an attack like every other and you have to beat the target's AC. The difference between a sneak attack and a regular attack is in the damage modifier. Not the attack modifier
>>39770we are fighting drowners?
>>39777>Yes you do. It's an attack like every other and you have to beat the target's AC.No it isn't. Targets just roll for reflex saves.
>>39778Tracy is just clearing some out, venting frustration, and giving her faggot some retribution for old grudges.
>>39778No, there were some at the docks that were immobilized, presumably when their commander was either killed (Pelosi?) or trapped in the Lair
>>39779I don't see that mentioned anywhere in the wiki, only the damage difference
That also doesn't make any sense. A sneak attack is subject to having it's target being covered in armor, or the person doing the attack misses, or any of the other vulnerabilities of combat. The only difference is that the rogue targets a critical area, so if it does land, it does a hell of a lot more damage. That doesn't affect the chances of it landing
>>39779Take this line in the entry for Rogues
>She cannot use a weapon that deals lethal damage to deal nonlethal damage in a sneak attack, not even with the usual -4 penaltyWhat the hell is that sentence even talking about except a penalty to attack rolls? It wouldn't mention that unless attack rolls applied to sneak attacks
>>39771He's just climbing back in the tower. "You lot, you might consider a more available way of getting into the building than a rope."
>>39779On a death strike, yes; not on a sneak attack, a sneak is rolled like a standard attack.
>>39783I see now.
So, do targets still apply their reflex saves to regular Sneak Attacks?
>>39783Also, can Tracy get a better look at the tower?
>>39783"I'd though we'd landed this thing. But first, are you
really Darkemeter, or someone else we know?"
Cast Detect Alignment targeting Darkemeter
>>39785Reflex saves are for attacks that do area damage - fireball and a dragon's breath weapon
>>39783>Death attackA death attack is the same as sneak attack with the difference that the target roles a reflex save to determine if it is paralized or killed in that one hit. If it fails, it does normal sneak attack damage
\r
>>39788>the target roles a reflex save to determine if it is paralized or killed in that one hit.No, the effect of the Death Attack is determined by a Fortitude save. The Reflex is for whether or not the attack lands.
>>39785No
>>39787No. Yes, its glossy and black, but uniform and precise, not unlike Trump tower.
>>39789This
>>39780we need to make a memorial statue for everyone.
>>39790She moves a bit closer and searches for any sigh of a trap or defense mechanism. Does it seem heavily guarded in any way?
>>39788You did? I mean I know it was landed back when looting the jew gold, but I didn't think it was landed when getting back to the port
>>39790>>39789That's not what the entry says. The entry says it is a sneak attack
>If an assassin studies his victim for 3 rounds and then makes a sneak attack with a melee weapon that successfully deals damage, the sneak attack has the additional effect of possibly either paralyzing or killing the target (assassin’s choice) >>39793i go down to the docks and jump in the water to search for anymore monsters.
>>39790She moves a bit closer and searches for any sigh of a trap or defense mechanism. Does it seem heavily guarded in any way?
>>39794Read the rest of it. The Death Affect is a Fortitude save.
>>39794Yes. And that entry has a basic header called "Death attack". Its also listed that way on the level advancement table for the Assassin in the DM's guide.
>>39797To determine if an attack that lands kills or paralyzes, yes, it is a fortitude save. But not to determine if the attack lands or not
If it were not a normal attack for the purposes of beating AC, what is the point of the True Strike spell?
>>39798And thus I am right. A death attack is a sneak attack that can kill or paralyze with a fortitude save
>>39801The armor check penalty for swimming is double that of normal. It's easy to drown carrying equipment and armor
>>39803Dimension lock spell works both ways
>>39804all i have is my sword and bracers.
Tracy floats up to the pyramid and taps on it.
How thick/solid is it? What kind of material?
>>39800Yes, I see what you mean now
>>39801Swimming is an untrained skill, so he doesn't have to have points to do it,... but that leaves Infernius at the mercy of the dice,.... Calm waters is DC 10
>>39803Y?
>>39808>YTesting to see if I was b& for saying the E-word.
>>39808Does his strength bonus apply to it?
Okay, so does darkie have any secrets
>>39788 >>39807Its non-transparent, so its thickness is indeterminate, but feels quite solid and glassy, not unlike Trump tower.
>>39811For that matter, what is Fae's response to "does anyone need reviving who can be revived? Specifically among the fighting men"
>>39788Neutral. " Who else would I be?"
>>39813"Touche. Please save for me about one pound of the flesh, if possible. I need it because of reasons"
>>39812"There are a good number of injuries, but few casualties other than those I mentioned of the unrecoverables."
>>39814"Flesh? What are you talking about? You mean the unicorn's corpse? You can have all of it, I just wanted the horn." ^_^
>>39811Could it be broken?
*take out Dick Chaney's warhammer*
*smashing attempt*
>>39818Nope.
Do those glaive blades still cut stone without a dwarf wielding them?
Tracy tries them out, because she doesn't know any better.
>>39815"I see... But I do know what we must do. First question for you - those seven of the 12 cannons that were recovered from derpistan some days ago - the seven that needed refit - have any been refitted?"
Trumpaladin commands Fae to take him down into the city. He flies her over the battlefield near the gate and the bridge, to see if there is any equivalent of the Drowners frozen in place around the bridge where RBG fell
[2d20 = 30]>>39808first roll is perception second is my swim check.
>>39820Oh right, that. They're not drowners, but the fields around the Port still have a fair number of zombies and skeletons and other menial undead. Alot of them were destroyed by the trebuchet, but not all of them. They're wandering around listlessly without any immediate targets.
>>39822>inb4 Infernius gets himself killedAlright. Upon diving in, Infernius can't detect anything moving. He has no trouble maintaining his position/float.
>>39819"tracy what that thing?"
>>39823cast cure moderate wounds just to be safe.
>>39823To Fae
"Pounce!"
Trumpaladin slashes and kills all of the remaining menial undead with Vanderiem and Fae
>>39824"I don't know, but it's solid as rock pudding. Think you could break it, somehow?"
[1d20 = 15]>>39826Much better. My bad for forgetting about them.
>>39824>>39825You can't do that while treading water. Also, how do you plan to get back on the docks? You know docks are like 8' above the water-line right? Swim check.
>>39828>>39824Tracy grabs Infernius by the scruff and lifts him out of the water.
>>39823Now Trumpaladin goes to the Stadium and the Monestary to gather the Generals
Do any of them know how to fire a cannon?
>>39819Stone, yes but not this stuff. Also, much of the enchantment (the dwarves-only, smaller-bigger part) was broken. The blades are permanently 'normal sized'.
>>39829"thanks tracy, me glad we freinds."
>>39827"me could try to smash it."
>>39832"Tried that. Didn't work. Got a spell that could work?"
Try Earthquake. It'll deal damage to a structure regardless of hardness. >>39833>>39832If you do get inside tonight, what are you going to do? Go inside now? Why not wait until you have recharged your spells the next day?
>>39833its floating isnt it?"me say chaos at it, move me not want you to get hit."
>>39834She hasn't used any of her spells. She used 3 scrolls.
>>39836Infernius and Trumpaladin have, as have Trollestia and Torcuil. You want to face down Clinton when your cleric and Paladin are spent?
>>39838Infernius isn't spent. He has plenty of spells, not to mention melee.
>>39839What is the benefit of not sleeping and waiting to attack the next morning? And yes, he's used shit loads of healing spells
>GM wonders whether he should save Tracy and Infernius time and effort
>>39840>What is the benefitI'm impatient.
I at least want to see if it can be broken.
>>39841GM, can cute sex horse or any of the Generals or any of the Spartans use a cannon?
>>39842And let the lichs inside fly into the city and kill people while we don't have the spells to help kill them?
>>39845my sword kills them just fine.
>>39846This.
>>39844Pretty sure that only works on living things.
>>39846Why not wait until you have sword and spells both?
>>39848You could say the same thing about the enemies.
>>39847>>39846I swear to God I am the guy who yelled at Custer asking him why the hell he didn't want to bring the Gattling guns to face the Sioux in battle
>>39849The big ones in the lair didn't see combat. They are fresh and ready
>>39851They could also be planning a ritual to destroy the entire port at once.
>>39853Ebin Spells are Nuke-tier.
>>39854And they can be made in 10 hours?
>>39843Yeah sure, enough of them have been around the docks and whatever to use them.
>>39844No
Upon saying Kek, the whole pyramid writhes and shakes, as though having a heart attack.
I'm kidding, its an inanimate object, not a living thing, and even if it was living, Kek (or any of the words') efficacy is based on hit dice.
>>39850Lol
>>39852Just offering that they're probably stuck inside due to the dimensional lock Torcuil placed
>>39856I feel like going in anyway.
>>39846Try Earthquake. Even if it doesn't collapse it, it has to do some damage.
Cross-thread remider that the 99999 and 100000 get are <200 posts away
>>39856Trumpaladin's move then is to gather the remaining Generals and Spartans, as well as the Cute Sex horse, and have them take any cannons that have been refitted, place them on the docks, and have them all target one spot n the pyramid a little above the water line. At the same time, take the Jolly Cunt, load and aim its cannons at the same spot. At the same time, have cute sex horse fire the Trebuchet at the same spot. Keep firing from all artillery until a hole is broken
Unless Infernius and Tracy's faggots can learn to calm the fuck down and wait until we actually have the ability to turn undead and the like again the next day
Kek. Some of these Ebin Spells are funny.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Mass_Frog>>39862And once that spot is open, enter through boat or fly in
>>39859Not really. Its not connected to anything so all it would do is wobble. The wobbling does betray that - like Trump tower - its double-sided; meaning its not actually a pyramid, but an octahedron.
[1d20 = 4]>>39865is there any opening on it?
>>39863>range: 300 ft>Duration: permanent>>39865Is there any guess of what kind of material it could be?
>>39866No.
>>39867e.e
How many times are you going to make me say "not unlike Trump tower"?
>>39868"cant you go inside tracy?"
>>39869Dimension lock works both ways
>>39869"Nope."
>>39868I never really determined what the Trump tower was made of either.
>>39871Tracy doesn't know that.
>>39868Trumpaladin orders a contingent of men to the Jolly Cunt, and returns to the Tower on Fae.
Looking for Darkie
>>39872Its glassteel
>>39873He's not hiding; in future "Goes and finds Darkie" will be fine
>>39868since its floating can it be moved?
>>39874Excellent. Ask him
"If you wanted to break into this tower, how would you do it?"
>>39875>>39876Cuz its not gi-fucking-gantic and shit
>>39877"I'd have to think about that. When I first um,... visited to um,... pick up a bit, it was easy. Since I'm already a player I can readily come and go at will, even with fields in place. I just went chameleon and walked right in."
>>39879"I'm going to submit to you a challenge. I don't quite have a payment, except, you know, for that unicorn horn, but I hope you'll appreciate it. Suppose you're not a player. And suppose a dimension lock is in place. You can lift or disable the dimension lock, but the subject will teleport away if disabled for long enough. Tell me, how would you get in to this tower?"
>>39879if we tie a rope around it and pull it with trump tower will it move?
>>39878>>39877>>39875We could also just get on its surface, undo the dimension lock, and then slip in before it teleports. Or teleport with it
>>39879"hey thez. do you know how to get inside tower?"
>>39881>>39878Actually I still want to shoot at it with cannons. 12 cannons firing every minute for two hours.
>>39881It'd be a pain to tie around.
Use sovereign duct tape to attach the cables.
>>39884Do we have any adamantine?
>>39880"Why don't you just ask me to try and figure out how to get in the pyramid over there? Its not like I didn't notice it when I was picking up the horn."
>>39881e_6
>>39883Thez is in the port, helping clean up the mess that she still blames herself for.
>>39886How much are you talking?
>>39886Adamantine was explicitly stated as being among the metals in the treasury
>>39879To Darkie
"Second question for you. If any particular spot on the tower were shot at with cannon balls and trebuchets enough times - and I mean literal hundreds of shots over hours - would it eventually break?"
>>39889"That's pretty much my question"
Tracy needs to fix her relationship with her husbando anyways
>>39891"I'll see what I can come up with. As far as cannons, you might want to ask the midgit, he's the resident expert on this place."
>>39892>expensive fuggin' cannonballsNot enough for more than a few shots.
>>39893"No... sorry."
>>39895"Are you referring to the dragon who has been missing for many days, or the dwarf who tried to kill us and is now dead?"
I g2g soon.
Tracy appears visibly frustrated, again, and wanders off into town in stealth, looking for any traces of troll as she scavenges dropped items/weapons, loots broken shops, collects body parts, and finishes off the rest of the wandering undead.
>>39897"I mean the little shit with a penchant for setting things on fire."
>>39896"... thanks. There's two things I need your help with actually."
>>39898The shops are essentially undamaged, as the evacuation was well under way when the Devos invaded
>>39899"Thank you"
Whelp. Trumpaladin goes to the forge to see if Lenos ever came back
>I will never have a lover as devoted as Infernius - ever\r
>>39900She leads him over to the whorehouse, where all the undead corpses are being piled around.
"When the clean-up is finished, we're going to burn it all. When that is finished, I want you to sanctify the place," she looks down, "so that nothing like this ever happens again."
>>39904"me know you still blame yourself, but me don't blame you thez. you didn't know."
May as well continue talking with Felicia, if she hasn't wondered off and hasn't been killed by Darkie
"I see your cutie mark is of a paint brush. Were you a painter?"
>>39903>Trumpaladin will never have a lover as devoted to him as Infernius to ThezTrumpaladin tries to think of ways to steal Thez's Husbando
>>39906"No, but I should have. I was careless. If not for that weakness, we could have easily routed them with no casualties. I didn't intend for this to happen, but the blood is on my hands. Gawd, look at me. What's happened to me? I used to be affable and detached, unemotional and carefree. Now I'm getting all weepy over a bunch of whores and ex-convicts. This is your fault you know," she says, managing a weak smile.
>>39907"I absolutely love to paint! I have,... er had, a whole art gallery featuring works by many of the local Phillydelphia artists, myself included. I wonder what will happen to it now."
>>39910"I'm... I'm sorry. I too left things and people behind"
*Attempts to hug pony*
>>39910Good. Good. Join the light side
>>39901Tracy gives up and goes back to the tower.
It's like ~3:00 AM, right?
>>39910*hugs*
"me plan all coming together *smiles* it okay baby, me think you look cute when flustered like this. we will make (((them))) pay thez"
>>39914I hope it's before midnight. I kind of want to craft Mithral Armor for Fae before the Tower is cracked
>>39913>'I couldn't find her...'>>39916There's no way it's before midnight. And hoo-mans need sleep.
>>39917I'm hoping RBG was killed before sunset and the rest of this autistic mess didn't take more than six hours. But yes, he's going to sleep eventually
*starts removing heavy plate*
>>39917>"Tracy... do you... really appreciate what did on the docks..." >>39912Accepts hug
>light sideIts alot easier since she's not half-devil
>>39914More like 5 I think, a few hours before dawn yet.
>>39916Unless you mean new years, why midnight?
>>39915Her expression hardens. "Oh, I'm gonna call in a favor for this one."
>>39921>why midnightJust to save time. Any time will do, but earlier is better
>Felicia accepts the hug"I can understand if you don't want to stay here, but, well, I'm not sure where else you would go. Would you like stay here, at the tower? We have extra rooms, food and drink we can give you"
>>39920>"I'm a little angry with you..." >>39924"The only entity that I know of that loves the destruction of anyone and anything, virtually indescriminately. Spooder."
>>39925If Trumpaladin were there, he'd try to talk her out of taking such a giant risk and insist that the party's resources, many of which have never even been used, are sufficient for the task
Instead, Trumpaladin helps the new cute girl into her room while thinking about how he's angry at his girlfriend
>>39926"Not him, I'm talking about Lloth, the one who put Darkemter here. Most players don't know the deities who brought them here, but Darkie knows all too well, and his armor is somehow connected to her."
>>39927And if Trump were there and said that, she would assure him that she doesn't want her help defeating (((them))), she wants her to make sure that they end up in Spooder's level of the Abyss for all eternity.
>>39928"thez me don't want you to make deals with devils"
*sad Minoutaur face*
>>39929"Not a devil, a demon-god. And don't worry, she owes me. I did her a favor once a long time ago."
>>39928A deal not to destroy the enemy, but to drag their souls further into hell? I guess that can be made safely and have beneficial effects the Party and the City cannot replicate
[1d20+30 = 42]>>39930Does Felicia have any wants at the moment? Sense motive on pony
>>39933+30? Rly? Damn. That's some Jedi-level shit
>>39933Aaaaaaand Sense motive is a wisdom based check, not Charisma, so the Circlet of Persuasion can't apply. So maybe +27 ish.
>>39934I'm not sure, but 19 ranks in sense motive, +2 negotiator feat, +2 natural wisdom, +1 or +2 from the Periphet of wisdom, +1 Stone of Good Luck. So actually only +25 or +26. The diplomacy modifier though is Jedi Level
>>39935That's still fukkin absurd.
says the guy who's character has a +33 on hide and sneakAlright. She's clearly a bit taken aback by the situation, not least of which because the guy who attacked her when she first showed up is now the guy catering to her and giving her the rundown. Additionally, she's seen more off-the-wall shit (the tower, the Entertron, various other things) in her first day here than in most of her entire lifetime in Equestria. She's further dismayed at the thought of never seeing her friends and loved ones again, and to top it all off she doesn't have any paint/brushes.
"Uhm,... where can I find paintbrushes and paint? It helps me to relax."
>>39937*cleans up and piles bodies*
>>39938"Leave that part to me, I can teleport. Your men are in mourning, and could use a morale boost," she smiles hopefully. "They look up to you, and not just cuz you're fuggin' tall."