Well now. The characters find themselves in an entirely different Rick than the last time they found themselves in a pickle. In this instance, the Paladin has just participated in murder, and it wasn't even the right target! Tracy also has bloody on her hands, but that's old news anyway.
Not sure how its gonna go, cuz some players are indisposed (at the moment) and there's usually hella bantz for every several-hour period, but why wait? ^_^
Oh, if you're new, this is an RP thread based (increasingly) loosely on D&D 3.5, but allowing for any genre or game (but it has to make sense). Feel free to shitpost, or bant, or even join in. Some call this the gay bath-house, but that's cuz they're bored and tired and don't have anything fun to distract themselves with,... like this thread. ^_^
1032 replies and 88 files omitted.
>>40637I don't want a barbarian. I want something civilized. But you can take a cohort the same way I can
>>40639Sorcerer makes the most sense, because Silvers have insanely high mental scores that would absolutely help a sorcerer, more so than any other class. My character also lacks offensive spell casting ability. Most of all, I could use a sorcerer pony to help make potions and scrolls, and then sell them.
I kind of want a business partner. Like she's being introduced to the wonderful world of capitalism, and learning how to acquire wealth and power and status that way
>>40642*tries not to cry*
*cries*
"I never wanted to hurt you"
>>40644*Is still sad, but is recovering*
"You and Thez are doing very well"
>>40641I also kind of want some one to share superfluous equipment with
>>40645"I'm guessing you cleared out all of the wildlife in Trollestia's forest?"
>>40646>superfluous equipmentJust leave it on the pile for potential new players.
>>40647Is he still in the tower?
"Not really. I gave up after I realized she wasn't going to show.."
>>40646"yea we doing good, we even picked out name for baby.
"me am a bit worried about mixing races though me hope baby is fine." >>40649>name"This early? What'd you decide on?"
>>40648"Then where did you get the meat?"
>Potential new playersThat's kind of what I'm doing with a cohort
>>40649"D'aww, that's sweet! What will you name her?"
>>40653"The woods, mostly.
Whatever I don't eat, I grind-up and leave in the freezer."
>>40654"And you're not lying to me?"
>>40655"D'aww. That's cute. Why did you pick that name?"
>>40657"Pfft! And I bet you think ours might be a girl"
>>40656"thez liked first name, me say okay but her middle name be Adolfa."
>>40657"me love him just the same."
>>40661"How could it be otherwise?"
>>40659"She won't be taking the name of the house of Thez?"
>>40662"What if we had a filly? You wouldn't be disappointed, would you?"
*brushes up against leg*
>>40662"me guess not. thez didnt say anything about that."
>>40665"Preston is a beautiful maiden name for her"
>>40666"thank you. hey trump is trumpaladin your name?"
>>40664"You know, I'd be happy to give you another foal, Flashy. Just promise me you'll love all of our children the same."
>>40666Satan confirms
>>40667"It's what I go by here. Or what everyone calls me here."
>>40668"I will... but in return, will you promise not to get in the way of
my purpose? What I am here for"
\r
>>40669"trump noy your real name?"
>>40670"No, Trump is the name of my model and hero. He who I strive to be like"
>>40671"I am not a Nazi. No, I am here to be a soldier. Law Enforcement. A defender. A Patriot"
>>40672"... but... You are here to 14, right?"
*stretches provocatively*
>>40671>>40673"I'm just fine to help secure a future for white children though. I don't see why that is controversial. I just don't hate Jews, Mexicans, or Blacks"
>>40674"Sure, I guess"
>>40675"My name is Brad. Brad Sentry. Tracy calls me by a nickname I gained in high school"
>>40676"me sorry for being rude and not asking earlier. me thought trumpalidin was name."
> I just don't hate Jews"y-you like jews?"
>>40677"And for three months I thought there was no "n" in your name. It's okay, call me Trumpaladin. I don't like me very much anyways"
"Eh, why not?"
\r
>>40679*pets pony*
"would you ever lie to me?"
>>40678"brad me like you my friend."
>>40684"But Tracy, will you promise not to get in the way of my purpose?"
>>40683"hey brad can me ask about life before you come here?"
>>40688"What do you want to know?"
>>40687"Sure, Flashy.."
*resumes humping leg*
"So long as you'll be ready to settle down once I'm ready to givebirth to our foal."
>>40690"I would. I will. I just need to be sure I can trust you"
Gosh I'm sick...
I'm going to bed. Might get up again later if I feel better.
>>40694"I lived in the great and noble United States, in many places, mostly across the old south. I spent much of my life trying to hold the line on the Texas border"
>>40696"Difficult to describe. Imagine freedom and opportunity, in their noblest forms as ideas, and an entire country built around that"
>>40698"Well that's something of a philosophical question, now isn't it. That's okay, I may as well put my philosophical studies to use.
Freedom, in it's basest, simplest form, is the lack of inhibition. That is, that no one is preventing you from doing that which you want to do. But any animal in the forest enjoys that sort of freedom, yet no person of worth would chose to live like an animal. No, we did better than that. We created a freedom fit for Man. The freedom to become the best person you can possibly be. The freedom to put your talents to use, the freedom to create, and the freedom to enjoy the fruits of your own work. The freedom to build prosperity for yourself and your family. The Hope that you may leave for your children a better life than was left for you. The hope that you too, though perhaps starting as a poor, underclass immigrant in new land, may one day become a legend"
>>40699Why'd you want to be a Lawful Paladin instead of a Paladin of Freedom?
*goes back to bed*
>>40700Well, for starters, I didn't know what the hell I was doing when I started, and i think Paladin was just suggested to me so I went with it. But I like the lawful alignment, and while I'm peeved at times by how weak the Paladin class feels compared to some other classes, I am not sure I regret playing one
>>40699"hmm that sound nice but can jews take office?"
>>40702"Anyone can take office who meets the requirements, is voted in under the relevant procedures, and takes the oath. Tests of religion are prohibited"
>>40703"ha you think "jew" is just a religion? i bet you think they arent all evil either. then this freedom is highly corruptible."
>>40701*rises from the dead*
It's one of the variant Paladin's in Unearthed Arcana. They're just like regular Paladins except muh freedom.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Publication:Unearthed_Arcana/Paladin_of_Freedom_Class_Features..Now that I think of it, I guess you're more of a Lawful type anyway....
*dies once more*
>>40704"I can't say I am an expert in Jews. As I understand it, it's several ethnic groups. Why would I think they are all evil?"
>>40705To quote for you the final lines of America the Beautiful, "Confirm thy soul in self-control, thy liberty in law"
>>40706Yeah, my brain is just being cooked by fever atm...
>>40707take some Tylenol.
>>40706"are you being serous? they have caused every war in war in Equestrian history. and since me dont have any books about america i can only assume its the same with your dimension. and that your history is being manipulated by a few jews in high places in your government."
>>40708"and it has been that way for centuries."
>>40707>>40707*Pets Tracy's faggot*
I'm immune to disease, so I can't really say I understand your situation...>>40708"Do you even have Ashkenazim in Equestria?
I can tell you that the people who fucked us over, mostly, were the white male Christians we trusted - we chose - to protect us. Their insistence they were good Christian did not help us when they flooded the country with poor immigrants"
>>40710"yes the (((griffions))) are from the area you speak of." Reeeeeeeeeee mien fuhrer was christian."
>>40711"Griffons, you say? Well, we may sooner or later want to look for some in the mountains. I found another mountain range north of here while hunting with Tracy a few days ago. I've been meaning to go Dragon hunting anyways.
Did thy Fuhrer let ten million Mexicans just walk over?"
>>40712"no he didnt. he got rid of they invaders for his neighbors."
"Me love monster hunting, me used to do it all the time when me was in the mountains were me went after me was banished."
>>40714"Do you now?"
>>40713"Well, then I guess he was a better leader than so many of ours.
I haven't really gone monster hunting much at all, but I haven't killed a dragon yet"
*does a sequence like William Shattner yelling "KHAN!!!" in Wrath of Khan, except he yells "KIYNEN!!!"*
>>40715"I do..
.. meat bun?"
*hold out lunch cooked with love*
>>40717*takes meat bun from pony*
*looks at pony*
"Can I trust you?"
[1d20+15 = 20]>>40718>seductive tone"Of course you can, ~Flashy"
Sleight Of Hand to remove his pants while he's distracted eating. Torc's door bursts out with a explosion. Out walks a singed wizard.
"Hey eejits, the fuck are you guys doing?"
>>40719Reeeeeeee!
*Looks at her in a way that shows his suspicion of her*
*Full of apprehension, he takes a bite*
>>40721*Stands up with no pants on*
*pulls sword, since weapons belt is on but pants are not*
"Who the hell just burst in!"
>>40721"Meat bun?"
*offers sizzling hot meat bun*
>>40723"You know, your imidation doesn't really work without your pants."
>>40724"Thx frend"
>takes bite"Thats good, what is it?"
>>40715"yes but he fell under the weight of (((communist jews))) and (((capitalist jews))) working together, do you know what the (((griffons))) did to the pony and Minotaur women in Germaneigh?""
>>40725Assumes Combat stance
"Nigger, I ain't here to merely intimidate"
Looks down, to see that he is not wearing pants
>>40727"Uh... what did they do?"
[1d20 = 18]>>40728>Combat stanceOh no you don't. She's got you flat-footed and (partly) unarmored.
~Sneak Attack!
>>40728"well all of the men died holding off (((them))), so the woman were brutally raped and when the reds drank to much and couldn't get it up they raped them with bottles."
the sad part is this actually happend look up the rape of Berlin
>>40730>>40730I'm confused by this post
"Gah!"
>>40729"You need to cook more often"
>>40728"Yeah, sorry but it ain't working"
>>40731Torc walks over and conforts Infernius
Hiatory sucks sometimes
>>40731"You mean... Like the bolsheviks did?
Excuse me I think I'm being attacked right now"
>>40734"Why are you always such a dick to me?"
>>40737I'm imagining him being knocked over and falling to the floor
>>40735>>40737"oh um excuse me"
>>40734"torc brad seems to be getting the suck should we move to a different room?"
>>40739While unable to remove the assaulting pony, Trumpaladin is able to partly right himself
"Aww, but we were having a nice conversation"
>>40736"Hey you're the one parading your underware"
>>40739"Good idea"
Torc runs
>>40743You had a successful sneak attack. Why you not go with that?
*pony had bounced off, so he sits back down in a chair*
>>40747She only bounced off of the bull rush to push the chair over.
*gets into chair and grapples*
B-b-but.. it's ~cold outside!
>>40751Um... +5 strength modifier and higher base attack
>>40749>>40751*Tries to set pony on lap*
>>40745>>40749"uh we can start it again later if you are busy."
>>40753Grapples are just strength checks.
>>40755*still fighting Tracy*
"No, it's fine. Tell me more about the Jews, Germaneight, And thy fuhrer
>>40757Trumpaladin makes sure he is sitting in a chair with his lack of pants hidden by table and pony
>>40752This
>>40758I don't think tracy's faggot is as much of a bitch as you make him out to be
>>40760>"uh.. okay...">>40758*moves pony mouth away for long enough to talk*
"No no, tell us about the jews"
>>40759"uh okay did a boat called the Titanic exist in your world?"
>>40763"does the phrase "federal reserve" mean anything to you?"
>>40762"Yeah, what do icebergs have to do with it?"
>>40764*humps back a little, but not a lot because Infernius is in front of him and he doesn't want to be rude*
>"I guess I love you too">>40765"But of course. It's the central bank. It controls the money supply"
>40767Kek
>>40766"there was no iceberg, the way the boat snapped sujests missiles."
>>40769"Ice is softer than steel anyways"
>>40767Tep kek
>>40769Plz tell me people dn't actually believe the titanic was an inside jobLag is killing me, so I'm just gonna lurk
>>40774>"Okay... so you're cuddly, I'll give you that"*Kisses back and humps back*
>>40768"do you know the federal reserve inst a government facility its owned by the (((Rothschilds)))"
>>40778*pulls pony away for long enough to respond*
"I don't recall it being owned by a family"
>>40779"it is privately owned the government keeps its money there."
>>40784"Well I know that, but it's necessary to have a central bank to maintain a stable money supply"
>>40783>'Sometimes, I worry for the future of our family.. if our foal got hurt, or you had to leave.. it's frightening...'*Hugs tightly*
>'Don't ever go away..!'*Grinds at breakneck speed*
>>40785"and who is the head of that bank?"
>>40786>"Please don't drive me off little pony... Hold on just a moment"*hugging pony*
>Cums inside pony>>40787"I'm not sure... Actually"
is coming inside pony "they all "happen" to be jewish."
>>40791"and this is what they think about you and me."
>>40791Reading that shit is a great way to redpill yourself on how kikes see the world. This is what they read to their kids.
>>40794thats where their superiority complex comes from.
>>40791"Damn.... Uh... Is that an issue for society?"
>>40793Kek
*is a good boy*
>>40796"now you are getting it. read this."
*hands pages*
>>40797>>40797>>40798*ruffles pony fur*
>>40799"Takes it and tries to read"
>>40801"You won't drive me off though, will you, little pony?"
>>40802"I would never let anything get between us, Flashy."
*Nestles head against chest*
[Peaceful pony noises]
*Gradually dozes off on lap*
Faggot goes to bed.
>>40800"(((they))) lie about the fuhrer say he gassed them all, that why me want to as them all and they killed rockwell."
>>40803"Don't get in your own way, little pony"
*Pets sleeping pony*
>>40804"They killed Rockwell? I must say I know almost nothing about him"
>>40805"they made it look like one of the members he kicked out for (((degeneracy))) did it."
>>40806"He was murdered? What did he teach?"
>>40807"he followed the ways of adolf hitler. he lived in the US wherever that is."he taught the love of ones nation and people just like adolf did,he was in navy."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNLTbPy0idg >>40808"I'll be honest with you, I don't know much about Adolf's teachings"
>>40809"he wanted a strong Aryan state that was free of degeneracy, he wanted the white race to continue being, he wanted his country to be free of communist Jewish traitors, let me tell you after first great war germany wasnt doing so good they were billions of dollars in debt and Adolf turned this failing nation in to a super power.
>>40813race mixing of this type is degenerate
you must remain pure
also the best way to kill the ziggers is to hide a watermelon field in a nuclear test site and make it known
then the ziggers shall die
>>40815*Rises from the grave like bloody vampire Jesus*
Oh shit.
*Returns to the grave*
>>40815i think she is pregnant already.
>>40819your god commands her to take a shower, only in this way can the filth be removed
>>40815>>40814I was talking to Atlas in voice call when these were posted. I literally fell down on the floor, laughing for five minutes, unable to get up
>>40818This.
>>40820"but lord would it be wrong for an Anglo to have children with an Aryan?"
*teary eyed*
"N-no. me am ready to except what ever punishment you will give but the grief of that would be to much to bear."
>tfw I have to check the banlist before checking the thread
>GM hobbles in and sits down quite uncomfortably
Evenin'
>>40827I invited Atlas to the thread and it was the funniest fucking thing ever
ITT: Infernius learns why he doesn't speak to his deity more often
>>40825>No response\r
>>40584Ikr, I got watery-eyed when Trump pointed out the cutie mark.
>>40590Catch one then!
>>40627Hell yeah he was
>>40632... so can fug
>>40655That was the agreement, yes
>>40662Technically, the name is/would-be Adeline Adolpha Preston Al Thez,... but we'll get to that.
Don't think goldy hasn't taken an interest>>40678I like you,... "Me too!",... tho you do make me facepalm more than anyone else ITT
>>40769Not only that, but the boat that sank was
not the Titanic, it was (iirc, I'd have to check to be sure) the Oceanic. JP Morgan pulled a fast one to write of a multi-million dollar "whoopsie" that compromised the integrity of the original Oceanic, which he then swapped their places and names before the 'inevitable' Titanic disaster.
>>40771Xp
>>40820@;_;@
>>40834I swear I can't take credit for this work of art. I was in a voice call with Anon28 and Atlas when i told Atlas he should make some responses to questions. And then without telling me he made that response "I'll run you down faggot." He asked me "what is a "these" and I told him that Thez was the character's wife, who was a half dwarf half elf half infernal who has been through literal hell, and so he made the "race mixing is degenerate" reply. He later said that he wasn't paying much attention when I said that, so I clarified the relationship between Infernius and Thez, and he said "I stand by my previous statement." He made the later posts sort of at random. After he made that last post I DMed him and pinged him in the staff server to try to get him to respond, but I believe he went to sleep