869 replies and 94 files omitted.
>>33779Don't put words on Hitler's mouth, Anon...
>>33780Considering I've never had to?
Give me and Torc a week
>>33769Like anyone planned all this. I had my hand all up in it, but no, this is beyond planning.
>>33775That will take some very careful maneuvering at this point, but who knows what will happen next? I have found that the game goes smoother when I prepare for all the potential (to my ability) options and respond to the players.
>>33774>blushing glare >>33775>>33777"me now pronounce you man and horsefu."
>>33784NO! NO! I do not take her to be my horsefu
>>33785>amazing grace"Oooh! I know this one!" Thez joins in with throat-singing
not lewd >>33786You've already knocked her up, and she's past her first trimester.
You're a man: make it work. It won't be that bad.
>>33786"you need take responsibly and marry horse she pregnant with Aryan baby."
Thez, uncharacteristically stops.
>>33793"Wait a second guys. We've just stopped beating one another, maybe pushing a marriage is,... premature? I mean,... it doesn't have to be so rushed,.....
>>33794I have something in mind
>>33797I prefer human that can wild shape into an Equestrian pony
>>33797Minotaur horse?
"Fine, but I'm fucking planning it...
Tracy, what colors do you want? I need to know for the fireworks"
>>33798>>33795Damn it, don't make her act cute like that! You wear down my resistance! Reeeeee!
>>33800I meant wrt Tracy/Trump, but I dont wanna say yet cuz lulz and potential spite-bans.
>>33797>>33799I want it to be a Demigod/Abomination Rank-0+ deity, with the power to warp reality, because reasons.
>>33801[Evil laughing nerd nouses]
>>33804That reason is you are evil
>>33805i will when you get the message you've knocked up one of the entities you fucked.
>>33804i would also like a +0 rank in demigod.
>>33804Technically, what I have in mind fits the bill,....
>>33805If you do, I give you props
>>33802"I love the idea of a marriage, but maybe let them do so in their own time and by their own will. It shouldn't be forced, it should be organic and deliberate. Besides,... no one was there for,... our,... agreement."
>>33808Fucking hell, if Torc has to marry Death becaus he knocked her up I'm going to die
>>33813>I'm going to dieA lot more than that, m8. He'll go where no wizard has ever gone before.
>>33812*gets down on one knee*
"thez will you make me the happiest manotuar in world by marrying me?"
>>33812Y-you said Tracy and Trump...
Torc sheepishly raises his hand
"I w-was at the agreement"
>>33815Well I mean, he already did that when he fucked death...
Torcuil is the ultimate case of "I should have stopped long ago. But too late for that lets see where the fuck I end up!"
>>33816"You already married her"
>>33819That's actually adorable
Also, the first marriage doesn't count because there was no legal contract or church ceremony
>>33820Thez said in Hell the massacre counts as the ceremony.
Thez is a dyed-in-the-wool Hellion.
So does the party now consist at core of two never married individuals, a married couple, and a widower? Or do we need something more formal for Thez and Infernius?
>>33821This ain't Hell. This is Port Barry
>>33822>formalThe continent is vaguely ancap. Tradition is the stand-in for lawfulness, from what I've gathered.
>>33823Well, it happened in Durpistan.
And The takes He'll with her wherever she goes..
>You can take the fiend out of Hell, but you can't take Hell out of the fiend >>33815Didn't he already?
>>33816Pouty-sad-hppy face "You mean, for real? I mean, the last was for real, but like, with more than one witness, and in an actual ceremony that isn't a blood-bath? Where you know going into it what is in store,... I did kinda push you into it after all,,,."
>>33817That was an agreement, a verbal contract if you will, but that wasn't a wedding.
>>33826Wood-elf, Duergar and Minotaur weddings aren't nearly as interesting; they're just more complicated.
>>33829>Torc now has two weddings to planThe joys of being the single one
I have a feeling Thez/Infernius's will be smaller, and more secluded
Tracy/Trump's will be a larger "invite the whole port" type
>>33832Sounds about right to me.
>>33829>>33833"and you didn't push me into it baby."
>>33833>Not 120%Give it your all, Infernius.
>>33832Trumpaladin thinks the only way to get married is to have the whole city come to a ceremony at the stadium, married at the 50 yard line with FAE as priest
Except for a marriage with Tracy. If literally no one saw that, that would be fine
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>>33834Works for me
>prepares Gandalf fireworks>>33836>not 1488%Do you even white pride??
>>33837>accept for a marriage with TracyYOU ACCEPT?
That makes everything easier
>>33831*Hugs back affectionately*
"~Flaaashy..! I want to get married right away.."
*Pouty-happy face*
>>33838>>33841NO. NO. NO. Except! Not Accept! Fuck you IPhone!
A deafening <CRACK> is heard and felt throughout all players and characters, disorienting everyone involved, and causing sight to dim and fade.
As each slowly regain their senses, they find themselves standing solidly, on a backdrop of a cosmic star-field. There are no physical objects or architecture, nothing at all really, except the vast expanse of space surrounding,... except for a smug-faced coyote in a sharp suit, sipping from a porcelain mug.
"Are you here at last? Tired of making me wait?" he says.
>>33843Is that Johny Cash from that Simpson's episode?
>>33844My parents by the phones. Fuck off
>>33843Is the mug giant with 'reese' on it?
"May I ask who you are sir?"
>>33846RIP in peace
>>33847"TRACY! Be nice to Johnny Cash!"
>>33850"Who the fuck is Johnny Cash? And what is this place?"
>>33843"I never thought I'd see you again"
>>33852"You're going to have to listen to my play list on the way back. Now hush. Thez knows where are"
>>33853*Protectively glues self to leg*
He lounges on a chair, and with a wave of his hand, a table coalesces with cups for everyone. "Do sit, or stand as you prefer. There's sugar and cream if thats how you take it."
>>33845Not to my knowledge, but there's been so many indeliberate parallel references that it wouldn't surprise me at this point.
>>33847"Who indeed? Would you believe me if I told you? Who likewise are you, and who stands behind you?"
>>33848"Sir? Are you sure? Is that an attempt to quantify and define what you see?"
(no, its not a giant reese mug)
>>33849"How to answer? Can such a question be answered? While it seems specific, isn't it as vague and open-ended as any question? Don't questions leave themselves open to the interpretation of the person being asked, without really specifying anything?
>>33853"Again? Have we met before?"
>>33854"I... I don't. This is,... I mean I've seen illusions like this before, but I'm unfamiliar with,..."
"Are you?" the coyote asks with a smirk.
>>33858"And what
is a god? Is it a being? An awareness? An entity that is finite or determinate? Is it a will? A presence? A specific thing?"
>>33857Torc takes a seat.
"Fine, the politness didn't work. What in the everliving fuck are ye m8?"
>>33857*Growls at hearing question answered with more questions*
".... The name's Tracy."
>>33859"Just play it again. One more time. 'The Man Comes Around.' You will know."
>>33857"Maybe not met"
I'm at a damn movie, I'm limited
>>33860"Again, would you believe me if I answered you truly? Would you comprehend if I laid plain?
>>33862don't worry, its mostly word-games and riddles, but there is a purpose to it, this was an encounter I'd planned for long ago, but it didn't fit with the situation so I put it on the back-burner. With all the recent to-do, it seemed an apt time"OH ho, then experienced perhaps?"
>>33861"You think I don't know who you are? But who is it who controls Tracy, who depicts and determines
her actions?"
>>33863"I,... this,... I don't,... except maybe in a dream,"
"Is not all of existence a dream?"
He(?) seems on the verge of laughter at this point.
>>33868She said it in hoers language.
>>33870Don't care. He understood it through empathic whatever/sense motive
"Fuck off"
>>33865>>33867What did I miss?
>>33869"Alright you cheeky cunt, what is your purpose with us?"
>>33869>Pissed off expression"Why don't you just tell us whatever it is you have to say already, and then we can decide if we want to believe you?"
>>33869"Can you play from your guitar?"
>>33874>>33872She wouldn't be able to do it even if she wanted to.
He(?) sips his coffee and waits patiently.
>>33871What manner of charge, like tackle-charge, or rushing to punch/beat charge, what?
>>33875"Perhaps it is because I can't tell you anything. You have to decide to learn it on your
own."
>>33877i was saying he most likely understood, not for you to fuck off just to clarify.
>>33878>[Desire to eat Johnny Cash intensifies][Impatient pony noises]
"Are we supposed to learn something here? Or did you just bring us here to be sarcastic?"
>>33880You have Powerful Charge as a racial ability. Use that.
>>33873Still waiting for both responces
>>33881"Be fucking patient. We literally do have all night. Now clan the fuck down, let him tell us why we are here, and no, you are not eating Johnny Cash. I swear to God Tracy"
>>33880"Stahp!"
>>33876"What makes you ask that?"
>>33873"What makes you think I want anything to do with you? Did I ask you to come here?"
>>33880As Infernius closes and makes contact, the Coyote-fellow dissipates at his touch, as though vaporous and non-solid, only to reform as Infernius passes through.
>>33881"Have you not learned already?"
>>33886"Ring of Fire... Is it asking too much?"
"Are you waiting for trips?"
>>33886"no but we here now. why?"
>>33886Torc begins to visably look pissed
"You may not have asked, but I'm pretty sur you are the one who brought us here"
>*tips imaginary fedora
"I have birds to feed."
>>33887"Can you wait then?" ^_~
>>33889"Are you sure that's the right question?"
>>33890"Are you sure about that?"
>>33892"Sure. Finish off your business with Thez or whoever...
You want a small blue horse?"
>>33892Torc decides to bluff
"Yes, I am quite fucking sure."
>>33892"REEEEEEEEE STOP TALK IN KIKE CIRCLES!!!!!!!!!"
"TELL US WHERE WE ARE!!"
>>33895*points at screaming bull*
"THIS!"
[ANGRY PONY NOISES]
He(?) dismissively kicks off of his chair and begins pacing about the room, sipping coffee as he does so, all the while affecting a nonchalant expression.
"What is the question of 'why'? Is it a means to understanding, or is it a demand for understanding? Does answering a question of 'why' result in comprehension, if the individual receiving is not in a position to comprehend? Can you not see where you are, if you don't grasp the specifics? Do you need to be told what is occurring before realizing it?"
He(?) grows more serious for a moment.
"Does anyone recall the riddle of the faggot behind the faggot?"
>>33898"I recall hearing about it some few months ago..."
>>33899
"Coffee, and there's plenty of it! Please help yourselves."
>>33897"Listen Mr. ManIsAFeatherlessBird, me and my frieds just want a simple explanation for what the hell is going on"
>>33898Torc strokes his beard
"It sounds fairly framilier. Would you mind jogging my memory?"
>>33901"No thank you, I prefer tea."
*sips coffee*
"The question of Why is irrelevant, people!"
>>33899
i abstain from cofee and i tell thez too as well.
If you think the coffee can harm you, you do not understand the riddle of the Faggot
*sips coffee*
>>33909Its quite a robust blend.
>>33908Thez nods in agreement.
>>33906"Indeed!"
>>33905With a wave of his hand, there's a pot that says "Tea" that materializes on the table.
>>33903"Have you ever wondered who stands behind your consciousness? Who directs your moves? If this were a game, and you were a piece - a part of it - have you ever pondered who stands behind
you?
>>33912that made me kekThere is no-one behind Infernius
>>33913"No? Would you mind being quiet then?"
>>33911"Who directs motives? A few days ago I was looking into mind controlling parasites. I found a species of Protozoa that infects mice, makes them more likely to be eaten by cats, who are the real target host. Thing is, it commonly infects human males, and causes behavioral changes. "Increased Jealousy and suspicion." Fuck me. I have no idea why I do what I do. I don't think there is a larger purpose to it"
>>33911"Thats meta as hell. And thanks for the tea."
Torc drinks some tea noting that it is something almost, but not quite entirely unlike tea.
"Hmmmmmm, intresting question. I can't say I have thought of it before.
I have had someone appear from the clouds and tell me what to do though"
>>33914*Grumbles a bit before curling up on the ground like a dog*
"Hmmph!"
>>33917"She'll listen when he says it but not me. Well fancy that"
[1d20 = 6]>>33914"dumbass fox there no onme behind me."
*attempts to tackle again*
>>33917"Aren't you the one who always balks when directed?"
>>33916"Are characters unaware of meta? Hasn't GM overlapped the two on occasion?"
>>33918"Have you tried asking?"
Thez says generally "Its only answered a few questions that were not questions themselves," then directly, "Assuming we can comprehend what you are, what this is, and what is going on, please tell us who you are."
He smiles as Infernius tackles through him, barely maintaining his balance since there's no apparent floor.
>>33922GM a couple weeks ago: meta gaming is bad
GM now: why aren't you meta gaming?
[1d20 = 15]>>33924Bitch slap Trump for trying to bitch slap tracy
>>33925"Oh hush. The riddle of the faggot was introduced months ago. Like almost as soon as we got here"
>>33923"And if I said 'no'?"
>>33925"And didn't that player's directions almost lead the lot of you to ruin?"
>>33927"Why does he anger you, Tracy? We encounter dirties pretty regularly now. This is a friend of Thez, now hush, calm down, and drink some non-caffeinated coffee while we wait for him to tell us what he summoned us to tell us"
>>33929"PanzerKampfwagen! schadenfreude! (more unintelligible German)
>>33930He(?) sighs and drains his cup, before placing it upside down on the table and resuming his seat.
"I reiterate, if I told you who I was, what all of this is, what the point of it was,... would you believe me and comprehend? Would you take it in stride and maneuver on as you have had? Would that not defeat the point?" He pauses for a moment. "How DO I convey the point, if there isn't already a commonality which we all share, and can identify with?"
>>33932Snitchel?
>>33929"Alright, this is too much even for me"
>>33931"Because he's smug, and sarcastic, and condescending and I wanna' go feed my birds!" She says, with a childish impatience
>>33931Thez looks astonished, "Don't look at me, this is beyond my experience!"
>>33934"What... then... do... you...
want?"
[4d20 = 39]>>33931>>33936BELLY RUBS ON PONY! FULL ROUND OF BELLY RUBS!
>>33939Kek, 20, critical hit belly-rubs
>>33939*Rolls over and twitches erratically, completely defeated (for the moment)*
>>33940Infernius passes harmlessly through again, though succeeds in upsetting the Coyote's chair. He rematerializes as though still sitting on a chair. "Intent on ruining my composure are you?"
[4d20 = 52]>>33933"wanna help us kill off all the vampires on our local continent?"
>>33937Torc's faggot wants some sleep
"I...
I guess to be accepted if we're being honest here"
>>33943*Attempts to pick up chair and hit him with it*
>>33937"I want to get married and raise a happy family with my husband."
*Giggles at belly-rubs*
Thez, silent throughout (mostly) whispers, "I just want to be happy. I just want to keep going, with all of them. I know it can't, that eventually it will end, that nothing is permanent or completely sustainable. But,... I don't,... these are,... my,..."
>>33945>>33946Continues to pass harmlessly through, he(?) pays no mind.
"And the others?" he(?) asks
>>33947He(?) also notes. He(?) waits on Trump and Infernius.
>>33948Torc begins to reflect on himslef, and what he does want as his faggot goes to sleep cause its 1am.
G'night
>>33948"To have a family that wants me around,why do you care?'
>>33950Goodnight, and sleep well. We can't shake hands, or high-five, or any other such, but as much as I am able, I accept you, appreciate you, and look forward to hearing from you again, no matter what you have to say.
>>33952"Even if that means enduring a ban over a disagreement?"
>>33953>tears wellAww fuck, I'm honestly unironically touched.
Same to you too, and everyone else in this crzay ass game
[4d20 = 48]>>33949"To build something grand and beautiful, to watch over it and claim it as my own. And to not be hated in the process"
>>33956"And if I told you that I wanted the same thing for you? For you all? If I told you that I am the faggot behind the GM, would you understand what that means? If I told you that this game is more than a game between faggots over the internet, that it spans multiple dimensions and metaphysical constants, merging ancient technology with modern, to enable faggots just like your players and yourselves, would that make any sense? If I told you that the dice programs that you utilize were based on the aggregate will of infinite entities beyond human awareness and comprehension of the players and characters, that the results are determined by 'vote' per say, of what the audience at large wants to see, would
that make sense?"
"If I outright said "This simple game is a means to everything you wish to achieve, if you just set your mind to it", and through sorting yourself in the game you can sort, not only your individual existences to a degree that is beyond prediction, but likewise that of those you encounter, interact with, and affect on a basic and,... dare I say,... spiritual level, would you think my words silly or misinformed?"
He(?) refills his cup, and lifts it again to his lips, taking a deep inhale of the aroma wafting off of it.
"If I suggested that my player, whom you all have come to regard as the GM, has been operating per my dictates ever since this all came to be, utilizing magic and science in a capacity that is only vaguely becoming appreciated, to the direct intent and purpose of metaphysically sending shockwaves throughout the known world of humans, to change the dynamic and scope from one that acts as a prison of the mind and body to one where all individuals are free to responsibly and consciously pursue their goals and aspirations without harming one another,... would that make any sense?"
>>33960>>33959"what me don't understand."
>>33961"You are not the resident meme-magician, but tell me - use your faggot's knowledge if you like - what
is meme magic?"
>>33962"the foucus of many anons channeling there pshyches together to obtain a specific outcome."
>>33963"Precisely this. This outcome is dependent on context and circumstance, relating to a vast framework of otherwise mundane details in an otherwise apparently mundane world, coalescing in an overlapping dynamic of individual experience to achieve that outcome. It is an infinite game directed toward a particular purpose, do we agree on that?"
>>33966"Just remember I got a 20 on pinning Tracy, and a 20 on a >rape roll"
>>33966*sleeps irl and in game*
*infernuis falls to the floor(?) asleep*
>>33964"it would seem that way."
*sleep talks*
>>33967He places his cup back on the table, vapor wafting lazily from it as he does so.
"Consider this. If I were to suggest that each of you represents a framework of allies, largely unknown and unseen, who despite not knowing one another were seeking the same ends - if the details might diverge from one another, as you as characters have slightly different aims - but were all working together toward a unifying purpose that had ramifications that extend well beyond your scope but achieve the same ends for all more or less involved; if I told you that working together toward the betterment of the game, that resolving what differences you may have personally and coming together as a group might be the catalyst that imperceivably and metaphysically caused the coming together, the responsible and appropriate merging of intent and design throughout and beond your individual scope, what might you say?"
>>33964"I don't know if I believe in purpose. An individual may have purpose. But beyond that, I am not so sure"
>>33972"Did you not just say you wanted to build something grand and beautiful? I'll tell you now that it is perfectly within your capabilities to do so, and that doing so has more beneficial consequences than you could realize, except that you might have to compromise in order to see it through, would your answer be the same?"
>>33971"I'd say that I've see this before. You dream big, and you get really lucky and make a hell of a lot of progress, and then it all falls through, and you don't really know why it died but just feels all disproportionate. I've seen it, lived it, from presidential elections and "populist waves," to internships and job interviews, to alt-chan imageboards.
I'll go ahead and tell you where the weak link is. It's that "working together" part. Good luck."
>>33973"What's the compromise? The answer to that question changes everything"
Thez speaks up, "This isn't real. None of this is real, is it?"
He(?) replies "Is it or isn't it? What is real? Is this experience any less real than the one of the faggot who sits at their computer, at their mobile device, or indeed the player who sleeps and dreams, yet maintains a memory of this dream and that?"
>>33974>>33975"Indeed, compromise is a bitch. In some cases compromise means aspiring to less or different than you initially intended, in other cases it means accepting what is rather than what was aimed at. Is it not still worth achieving, if it perhaps is 'less' than one sought?"
He stands abruptly. "I can see I have outstayed my welcome, please accept my apologies with my assurances that there are profoundly scient entities who have taken an interest in what transpires, both in favor and against. I hope you'll see fit to resolve your differences in the most, and allow leeway for one another in the least."
>>33976"'Is it still worth achieving' is a question that necessarily depends upon the facts of the case. You're asking me to do a cost benefit analysis on a hypothetical that has no facts to it. Well I'll give you an answer that's as abstract as your question. If what stands to be gained out weights the costs, including opportunity costs, then it is worth it. If it does not, then no compromise is better"
>>33977"What? No need to go so soon"
>>33978"Well stated, but know that for all one's intents and purposes, in chess the opponent always gets a counter-move, hence the compromise of outcome."
>>33977"Before you go, may I ask who you are?"
>>33981"But I told you, I am the faggot who stands behind the GM."
>>33980"Don't you worry. I've played chess before. I am well aware of countermoves. The fact remains that there are some things to be given up lightly, some to hold off on trading until a better offer is made, and some to cling to come what may. Always be mindful of the power play. And increase your leverage where you can"
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