As we join the party for this round of tomfoolery, Infernius is residing comfortably in the Tower. Tay is also, despite a rebuke from Thez, and likewise Torcuil is resting comfortably.
On other fronts, several of Trump's Generals have been burned alive by acid, while others feebly attempt to fend off a dragon with their bows. Trump and Tracy speed in to aid the scenario, while Fae attempts to direct combat and help PCs and NPCs alike to live another day.
Welcome back to the Game, we're in the middle of murder so please don't mind my lack of descriptions/invitations, lets continue shall we?
827 replies and 48 files omitted.
>>28212Is the dragon a boy or girl?
>>28212Please try to talk to it yourself please
>>28214Carry him over dry land and out of blasting range
>>28219Depends on my roll for my opening shout
>>28216Why U no try? You have the Diplomacy ranks.
>>28218It's a Black Dragon: it can hear everything in the Mire.
Say something clever.
>>28215Haven't asked yet. It seems hungry/angry/bored.
[1d20 = 15]>>28220Use meme magic to drain the swamp
>>28221Fine
>>28214Tries Diplomacy then
"Look, I am a bit upset about the attack, but I really need my men to traverse to the otherside of the bog. Perhaps we can work out a deal"
>>28222Seemed like a defensive territorial attack to me. If it were hungry it would have grappled one
>>28229>dat filterGood name for a dragon though.
>>28229A name so shunned and loathsome the gods have mercifully hidden it behind the name of "Thrackerzod"
>>28215Wut?
>>28217I have the option of being a dick, but I won't. I'll assume that you mean "swoop by and pick him out of the water", rather than "help him up out of", cuz the latter is problematic.
>>28220ffs
>>28223Your move was expended standing upright. We're deciding Tracy's turn (and only at length cuz her decision is open to interpretation)
>>28225Meta-fucker
>>28234>>28234>Your move was expended standing uprightThat's what I thought, but Tracy's faggot wants me to try diplomacy
>>28234You are dodging the question you shitfaced GM.
I promise it'll be entertaining at least
>>28236How the hell could Torcuil know the Dragon's gender if he hasn't seen it?
>>28237>>28236And Frankly, if he could see the Dragon, how would he determine it's gender? Like how do you sex a dragon?
Remember, while I know YOU know what you mean/envision when you say "Do a thing", I don't necessarily, and the more open to interpretation your "A thing" command is, the more open to fucking players over I am enabled. Tl;dr pretend I don't know what you mean when making action descriptions K? ^_^
>>28236For some reason, Torcuil suddenly <poofs> into a frog. Its amazing, and he still maintains his footing on Trollestia (small wonder, given extra feet-pads) but for the moment he's utterly useless. Its no biggie, cuz he's still outside combat range, but let this be a lesson.
>>28241W-was that a skyrim reference?
>>28241Tell you what. You come here, you drain the swamp, and you lift its tail. Please do that.
>>28240He's like Nyarlathotep
>>28241Its under water, and concealed. If you wanna know whether u can sex it, jump in frog-boy
>>28241I have sense alignment. Not "sense gender." Sense Alignment
>>28245at least its not Cthulhu.
>>28242It will be
>>28243God fucking damnit
>>28246Fuck you
I'll fucking roll magical perception
You happy now bastard?
>>28237Ask it when you get the chance.
>>28241If it's a female, a cruel black dragon would never be able to resist a character as >Rape-able as Torc
>>28249Torcuil, please refrain from saying "fuck you" to people with the power to harm you or make your life miserable. I know that doesn't affect me, but it's cringe-worthy to watch
>>28250I guess I will, but please pleas please specify your move action so we can move to the next round
>>28249That will work when in range, and <poof> Torcuil isn't a frog anymore, but be mindful
>>28253Oh you're one to talk
Anyway, Tracy helps Trump out of the water, and as he's flown away, its Trump's turn
>>28255
i was almost raped earlier.
>>28255>Butt of all Rape jokes>ButtKek
>>28253I had to spend my turn fixing your mistake.
Make a professional Diplomacy offer. A good, realistic one.
>>28256Sheathes sword. Puts down shield
Tries diplomacy
"Look, I'm not going to say I am not pissed off from earlier, because I am, but the fact remains that I need to get my men back through here. Now, can we work out some sort of deal?"
>>28264I think I have gotten a 15 like three times in a row rolling for diplomacy to try to talk to this Dragon
>>28265>>28264you should get a bonus for art of the deal.
>>28264How many ranks in Diplomacy do you have?
>I should've glamored his armor earlier, so it could look like a Professional-looking suit >>28266>>28267Kek, I have 19 ranks in Diplomacy, +2 from Negotiator feat, +2 from sense motive, +2 from Knowledge-Royalty, and Plus +4 from Charisma
>>28263>Magical ring shield>puts downAre you sure about that? Also the rest, in turn.
D> Cantrip - White Flag
A ghostly white flag raises its self above the bog, waving its self indescriminately
>>28265And none of them during your turn of action!
[1d20 = 11]
Will Torc ever fucking arrive?
Roll for magical perception when he gets there
>>28269Alrighty then, puts back up sword and shield
"It's okay, you can come out now. We just need to negotiate a passage through. We're willing to pay"
>>28272But his move action is MOUNT TRACY
>>28266This.
Give us a quote.
Black dragons like to gamble/invest. It wouldn't look away from a good realty offer.
>>28273*gets mounted* (can I make it easier for him by kneeling, so he can speak?)
>>28271You're arriving now,... as the situation (maybe) rights its self. Technically next round action goes to Thez.
The dragon slowly rises to the surface of the bog, its face first, and its eyelids just above the surface of the murky black water. At this time Infernius, Torcuil, Thez, Uatchit, and Trollestia arrive on scene, distant but present.
<whoof> Except for Thez, who is already in the creature's face."Lady, you smell like Troll-funk, u need to wash ur damn self."
Trump's move.
>>28274Empathic link to Tracy
>"What can I offer it without it noticing a lie">>28276"Come out and make a deal. Don't tell me you are afraid of winning"
[1d20 = 15]>>28276>ladyThanks for the gender
Torc dsimounts and walks closer
>>28275>'Did you consider making a real offer?'Tell it about the Mar-a-Lago resort.
>>28278Sorry, you were too far away to discern, and don't have any experience with dragons to sex (identify) them
>>28277Dragon-face <blooops> beneath the water
>>28282(The 'other idiots' arrived)
>>28284>>28285kek If Trump is finished, its Torcuil's turn
>>28283"Don't be shy. We just need passage through. Tell us what you want from us"
>>28285>>28284Trump doesn't know Torc is there. I guess he could offer to sell Tracy, since every other person wants her?
>>28283Uh, is there a spell to make Torc louder
He uses it
>>28284>>28285>>28286Oh, I've been planning this shit
He doesn't have any dignity to lose
"AY BBY U WANT SUM FUK?"
>>28290ooh boi he fuggin going it.
>>28292I was planning it from the beginning sadly.
>>28292>>28293>>28295Oh, just wait
It will
Hopefully get better.
Maybe....
Besides, what does he have to lose?
>>28294>>28295At least Torc can polymorph into a dragon so its not so awkward,....
Totally not what I expected BTW
>>28293This would be the funniest outcome.
>>28297Trumpaladin adds to the dragon
"This lad here is quite the charmer"
>>28297HA, I even threw you off.
I also had forgotten about polymorph, I should use that more.
>>28298Ebin?
>>28300Oh, NOW Trump helps him
>>28280Black dragons are natural businessmen.
Try the stuff you did with Korak.
>>28290>>28300infernuis is standing their in awe.
>>28297"Gruuurble gorrblily gurrble gorble"
Thez translates, cuz no one speaks dragon
"Please, give me some food! I don't want to attack you, but I must eat SOMETHING. These trolls have stopped supplying me, and so I have no choice but to prey! PLEASE gibs noms!"
>>28298Me too
>>28302I mean, if there were a cave full of Gems, he could offer that to the dragon. After all, Trumpaladin just explicitly asked Tracy if she knew of a source of Gems.
>>28304"We should have dead troll bodies"
>>28304*Tracy unloads a whole broom-closet's worth of elephant meat* (I said she put it in earlier; he was practicing pre-chewing)
Yep, I just threw what little amount of dignity Torc had left out the window.
>sigh>>28304It can eat this dick. Actually, no he isn't that desprate"Could we feed her the trolls?"
>>28305Who is ebin?
>>28310
You're not even there yet.
>>28314i am though and dragons love beef.
>>28316No. We are not here to feed it. We are here to lure it out of the water. If you are going to make it eat you. Make it chase you first