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How-To-Soak-Nuts-WholeLifestyleNutrition.com_.001.jpg
Swamp-soaked Nuts
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.27910
As we join the party for this round of tomfoolery, Infernius is residing comfortably in the Tower. Tay is also, despite a rebuke from Thez, and likewise Torcuil is resting comfortably.

On other fronts, several of Trump's Generals have been burned alive by acid, while others feebly attempt to fend off a dragon with their bows. Trump and Tracy speed in to aid the scenario, while Fae attempts to direct combat and help PCs and NPCs alike to live another day.

Welcome back to the Game, we're in the middle of murder so please don't mind my lack of descriptions/invitations, lets continue shall we?
827 replies and 47 files omitted.
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28014
28015 28021
I can't link posts any more because phone is wired

Tracy's faggot: the plan is to kill all of the trolls, burn their encampment, and then look for a way to lure out the dragon or go back into its lair.

Hopefully all bodies were recovered at least in part
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28015
>>28014
nigger what did i just say?
dLgR+
?
No.28016
28018
The only way I can think to involve Inferius is to send out a pigeon to the tower requesting help to kill a Black Dragon in the swamps southwest of Port Barry
\r
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28017
28019 28025
>>28012
Spooder!
>>28013
*flammenwerfers
At least it isn't a cockroach

Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28018
28020
>>28016
send fae?
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28019
>>28017
man i fuggin hate roaches.
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28020
28022 28023
>>28018
She's useful in tracking. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to switch over to riding her in a minute
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28021
28024
>>28014
Where do you wanna put the bodies while you're burning down the troll camp?
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28022
28027
>>28020
send a pigeon this way then i guess.
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28023
28027
>>28020
>switch over
Why?
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28024
28031
>>28021
Tracy loves taking human remains and putting them in her bag, except when there's actually a reason to do it?

If that won't work, set them down on the ground away from the dragon's bog and get them after the trolls are kill
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28025
28028
>>28017
Creepy black spooders r bad
Dun tho

Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28026
28030
Also I warn, 'my' movie won movie night, so I'll be distracted during
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28027
28029 28032 28044
>>28023
Trumpaladin needs to make up for the embarrassment or die in the process. Tracy values nothing above not dying. This conflict of interests makes the necessary cooperation impossible
>>28022
Sends pigeon
Extra words
"Prepare many acid resistance potions. Bring gold coins. Be careful not to scare dragon as it hides well"
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28028
28029 28035
>>28025
I'm dun tho
Fire in the booth
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28029
28033
>>28027
>>28028
ill bring torc.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28030
28032
>>28026
howard the duck was supposed to win!
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28031
>>28024
You want to put the hummans in the bag covered in acid with all those sharp objects?
Sure.. She'll do it.
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28032
28034 28036
>>28027
Oh well shit. If the whole party is invited, it won't be but a thing. Its only a young-adult
>>28030
Get fucked you heathenous bastard Xp
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28033
>>28029
Don't make me regret this
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28034
>>28032
>am offended.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28035
28041
>>28028
"torculi what this note say?"
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28036
>>28032
>Its only a young-adult
Could try to make a deal, desu. He'll probably back down at a major threat.

Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28037
28040 28045
No, I don't want the whole party

Tracy, just go attack the dragon
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28038
28039
>make a deal with the dragon
The deal is we kill it, and take its corpse and treasure
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28039
>>28038
i like treasure.
MEa/D
?
No.28040
28046
[1d20+5 = 21]
>>28037
>doesn't know where it is
Tracy furtively and carefully wanders around the bog, looking for signs of the Dragon.
"Hey, Skullface! Get out here!"
Rolling to Spot
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28041
28044
>>28035
"What note?"
MEa/D
?
No.28042
[1d20+5 = 10]
Rolling Listen too
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28043
28045
Swallows acid resistance potion
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28044
28047
>>28041
>>28027

Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28045
28046 28048
>>28037
At current, the Generals have fallen back to the Troll-camp position, while the Trolls themselves have fled the hoomans.
The dragon is still in the bog, either waiting or biding its time, while Tracy/Trump and Fae swoop around gathering visual intel (which isn't really anything, cuz black dragons breathe water).
>>28043
Why do I get the impression that that preceeds something foolish a significant action?
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28046
28050 28051 28054
>>28045
See >>28040
Tracy is looking for it, taunting it to show itself/talk. while Trumpaladin tracks down the Trolls on Fae.
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28047
28049 28055
>>28044
"Damn it, we need to make some acid resistance potions"
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28048
>>28045
I wasn't, buys that's a good idea
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28049
28051 28052
>>28047
Too right, it was a resistance spell (same as potion) that allowed Thez to survive Lenos' breath weapon, otherwise she'd have been goo (which, she still would have reconstituted from, but it would have taken months,... ask me how I know that)
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28050
>>28046
I had intended Trumpaladin to still be onTracy in the big while Fae is tracking down and killing Troll children, but... I don't know

If Trumpaladin is riding Tracy:
>"Go ethereal and go inside of the bog, or I will jump off of you and go in the bog myself to find him"
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28051
28053
>>28046
Did Skullface respond at all?
>>28049
>ask me how
Will that sidetrack the gameplay?
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28052
28053
>>28049
golly gee gm how would you ever know that?
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28053
28059
>>28051
>skullface response
No. Have you ever been under water while ppl were talking outside? You can hear that. Dragons have 10x hearing (per the book). It knows you're there (though not who or what you are).
>>28051
>>28052
Because I've crunched the numbers, more than once.
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28054
28059
>>28046
>"tell you what Tracy, you tell this dragon we'll give it 40,000 gold sheckels to let all of us by, and you produce whatever you have, or I will do it"
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28055
28056 28061
>>28047
"torc how long the potions take?"
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28056
28057 28058 28063
>>28055
"Idk"
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28057
>>28056
"should me go on ahead?"
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28058
>>28056
"trump and tracy might be in trouble."
MEa/D
?
No.28059
28060 28064
[1d20+1 = 9]
>>28053
*stomps hooves*
>SHOUT
"HEY, SKULLFACE!!! I know you're down there, bitch! Let's have a word!"
Roll for Diplomacy
>>28054
>'I don't have any bits on me. Give me a bit to get him to come out..."
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28060
>>28059
>are you me? with that roll it seems like it.
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28061
28063
>>28055
1 day per spell and caster level (I.e. 4 days for a 4th level spell at 4th caster level, or 4 days for a 2nd level spell at 6th caster level; spell level can't exceed required caster level for spell, etc.)

Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28062
*considers swallowing the alcohol flask now*
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28063
28065
>>28061
>>28056
can he cast acid shield?
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28064
28066
>>28059
>"pretend like he's me, and LIE TO HIM. I'd really rather not do it myself because Paladin's code and all, but if you cannot bluff, then I will do it"
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28065
28067
>>28063
>acid shield
Uhm, which one now? I'm not finding that spell
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28066
>>28064
>'I'm a cohort: I can't lie either, ifyou know about it. Give me a minute or two to talk to talk to him, and prepare one of your speeches.'
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28067
28069
>>28065
a spell that protects from acid damage.
dLgR+
?
No.28068
[1d20 = 14]
Trumpaladin now tries diplomacy

"Mr. Dragon, we were just looking to pass through around this bog, we meant no harm. Surely we can work out an arrangement"
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28069
28071
>>28067
There's Protection from Energy, and Resist Energy.
The one provides 12 points/caster-lever of damage resistance for a single strike, and the other provides 10dmg/round resistance (up to 20 at 7th level and 30 at 11th) for 10 min/level
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28070
28072 28074
I once unironically stopped a gator from catching me by booping it on the nose. This'll be fun if it works.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28071
28072 28073
>>28069
ok good since torculi is afk i grab him and call
out uatchit "thez our family is in trouble."
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28072
28075
>>28071
"For real? Not just bullshit drama?"
>>28070
For real? That's fukkin awesome!
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28073
>>28071
*when he says this thez can sense some of old infernuis*
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28074
>>28070
florida man strikes again.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28075
28077
>>28072
"dragon trouble."
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28076
28078
Is there any response to either Tracy's attempt at diplomacy or mine?
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28077
28080
>>28075
"You're discarded my gifts. Why?"
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28078
28079
>>28076
Of course not, its a native dragon. Do you expect to be invited for tea? Its looking to survive and eat.
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28079
28081 28082
>>28078
What about opportunities to make a load of money?
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28080
28083 28085
>>28077
"thez i want to have a long conversation but we do not have the time. ill give you the quick version i was angry sad and hurt that you didnt want my child, and i wish i hadent been that way please forgive me i love you."
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28081
>>28079
Try it. Try it. Try it. TRY IT!
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28082
28083
>>28079
Yes, try it, dragons love money
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28083
>>28082
>>28080

Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28084
28086
Think of it this way, he's a young dragon, of a species that loves metal coins, his only assets are his estate and whatever treasure lies beneath the bog. Since he's young, he probably wants nothing more than to have his own, personal hoard of metal coins. What if, just what if, he were taught a lesson on how to make money off of his equity, in the developing world?
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28085
28087
>>28080
>glares
"Oh so now you wanna talk? Well that's good, 'cuz I've got plenty to say you,... fuck it, lets just handle business for now."
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28086
28088
>>28084
Jesus Christ. Just tell the dragon you want to pay it 40,000 shekels for safe passage back
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28087
28089 28090
>>28085
"we bring lennos?"
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28088
So here's the thing. He's a young adult, who semi-recently inherited a somewhat large estate, but he hasn't really used it for anything except hunting, because he lives in medieval times. Black dragons aren't ambitious as Reds or Blues, but they're incredibly opportunistic, they're known to ask hoomans for hidden treasure hoards before killing them; so we could have some fun here if he's willing to listen.
Since he's not that old and not that big, his treasure hoard is mediocre at best. He probably dreams of having his own underwater cavern full of gold, but it'll take him a century to acquire that much through theft alone.
What if, just what if, he could be convinced to fully exploit his property and develop his swamp into a local range/resort? It only stinks because he's been corrupting the water with his magic, but could be very attractive to travelers who visit the port from afar if developed properly, being so close to the local Football field. With modern knowledge or real-estate practice, he could potentially make more money than he could ever dream of through medieval means.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mar-a-Lago
It'd require a good Diplomacy check though, with an exceptionally professional deal-maker.
>>28086
If all else fails, we could just sneak the wounded soldiers out while he's distracted thinking about modern business practices.
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28089
28091
>>28087
"NO!"
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28090
>>28087
(not for the obvious reason either, Lenos is part Black Dragon)
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28091
28092 28095
>>28089
"okay lets go gilly <3"
*lovey dovey eyes*
"have i ever said that your cute when you are mad."
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28092
28095 28098
>>28091
"Well I guess you know,... nevermind, lets just go," arms crossed, angry-face.
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28094
28097 28102
To Tracy, through the empathic link. He seems hysterical, like about to break down

>"Jesus tap dancing Christ. You had no difficulty lying to me about the horses. You had no difficulty lying to me about the cores. You're a fucking rogue with "bluff" as a special talent. But now, NOW, the first time in the several months here that lying is a useful skill, you refuse to do it. What the hell is wrong with you? Do it, or I will

>"And the ethereal ness. What the hell? For months you've been like "oh I can go ethereal inside of an enemy's body and shit." Now we ask you to go ethereal into water - water! - to try to find the dragon and let us attack it underwater, and you refuse? What the hell

>"Either this dragon dies tonight or I do. I'm jumping into the water if you don't do anything to go after that dragon"
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28095
28096 28099
>>28091
>>28092
Well, its better than the whore being gone and Darth Infernius trying to kill Torc...

Anyway, sorry bout disappearing
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28096
1509313054769.png
>>28095
you better not saying anything like that in char m8. lets you piss off darth infernuis again.
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28097
28100
>>28094
Se's already done all of that. She's watching the water for signs from the dragons movements atm.
That stuff was just a meme-tier, non-canon idea about a business proposal that would be hilarious if it actually worked. The objective is to distract the dragon long enough to sneak the wounded through, and buy time for the others to arrive.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28098
28110
>>28092
"okay. we taking your ride or mine?"
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28099
28101 28107
>>28095
Tay didn't die. Thez just scarred her off for a bit, and her player got tired.
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28100
>>28097
i mean that business idea was pretty good.
Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28101
>>28099
Well I know that.
Can Torc cast Acid Resistance?
I have a terrible idea...
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28102
28104
>>28094
>oh I can go ethereal inside of an enemy's body and shit
She never said that; those were my ideas. I put all character dialogue in quotes.
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28103
28105 28106
Trumpaladin Jumps off of Tracy and into the water

Empathic link
>"fuck you"
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28104
28109
>>28102
That doesn't change the fact that you could go ethereal and sneak attack the dragon underwater with your dark vision. I do not understand why you refuse to do it
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28105
28108
>>28103
*is over water*
>'What in tartarus are you doing? He eat you! Wait until he comes up.'
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28106
>>28103
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trWeSRhMlFk
Anonymous
NcwMp
?
No.28107
28110 28111
>>28099
"I let her have some fun, but she got too close to mine."
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28108
28109
>>28105
>"THEN FUCKING OFFER HIM GOLD YOU WIRTHLESS CUNT"
Mrs. Sentry
MEa/D
?
No.28109
>>28104
>dark vision in magically-corrupted bog-water
>Ethereal movement underwater
Her powers aren't that hax, m8.
>>28108
>'He hasn't responded to anything yet. Why don't you try and taunt him out yourself then?'
*gets behind in preparation to drag husband out of bog, at the sight of a lunging dragon*
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28110
28115
>>28098
>>28107

Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28111
28113 28114
>>28107
GM, can Torc talk to Troll?
I have a plane that will fail
Anonymous
dLgR+
?
No.28112
28113
"LET ME MAKE YOU A DEAL NIGGER DRAGON! I GOT 50,000 SHEKELS RECOVERED LOOT WAITING FOR YOU, AND ITS ALL YOURS IF YOU KILL ME FIRST!"
Anonymous
CeXOq
?
No.28113
>>28111
we dont have time.
see
>>28112

Anonymous
j7EYG
?
No.28114
>>28111
Plan* damnit
Also, torc needs two plain rings for enchanting