Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.
908 replies and 51 files omitted.
>>25050The clerk sighs. "One moment," walks away and another fellow, approaches.
"Good day to you sir. I understand you wish to negotiate for a record contract. You must undersand these are very slight and not frivilously offered,...."
>>25051Yes, last night, while GM was waiting to see if that whole "holding the sword 4 kill" actually resulted in kill, meanwhile they were humping like bunnies.
Its like having an indescrete room-mate ffs
*double-checks body for spooders*
*Returns to sauna to keep check on the eggs*
>>25053KEK
E
K
>>25052I wish Tracy's Faggot had been up for that. I really wanted to see the response
>>25052"Hello, I wish to speak to you actually about an already existing contract. And then, I wish to speak to you about a brand new opportunity"
>>25052im confused as to what you mean.
>>25056"An existing contract? You're new here so I can't say,..." his jaw drops. "Please wait one moment,...."
>>25057I have Infernius and Thez doing the nasty for a while (A LONG WHILE), while GM (me) waited to see if Trump did something lasting with Korak's sword, which he placed for a kill-shot on Tracy.
*steam rises off of pony*
GM sighs.
Okay. The clerk goes to verify the authenticity of the contract, given that the person presenting it is not anything like anyone previously associated.
Thez is running about like mad, trying to address the spooder situation. She didn't imagine any hurt feels from Infernius, in fact she's still outside the entertron, where he woke up, waiting for a response. Tracy is alive and well, outside the vault (unless she moved), Taylor is wherever, but probably (probably) safe, and,... did I forget anyone? Torcuil is still a coma-mummy.
>>25065Too late, he's a city away. You'll have the chance to join him before too long, don't worry.
*was and is, respectively
>>25063*waits with confidence*
>>25065Shit I'll try to get you a spot
>>25063>Korak's sword.Pic related is the story of my life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le9sLw2VdUg>>25066It's because I booped Thez...
Tracy picks up her cloak and continues stitching, the rooms temperature rapidly rising.
Thez, outside the Entertron where Infernius is still sitting, waits to hear from him. "I waited as long as I could, but the situation with others demanded my attention! I couldn't let them proceed alone, they'd have gotten all of us killed by now! You're not going to hold it against me for going off,... are you" she said before GM got called away for some BS, the rest to follow
GM is back and Thez continues "I know its probably emasculating for ur (technically Flashy's now) waifu to be stronger, and to have more experience with all manner of RP shenanigens which can rear themselves at a moments notice, but PLEASE understand, I DO love you and I DID keep GM up all night with a variety of descriptions of the positions we were passionately and frivolously getting it on to/in!!"
Meanwhile the clerk returns to Trump. "Sir, I'm a bit taken aback. Is this authentic, as in, can you present something to verify its authenticity? This document is most significant, but raises a number of necessary questions."
In the background, a pair of guards lock the door.
>>25078Thez gets bumped in the head with a super-pigeon. It carries the following note:
"Want to go on a date with one of your partners? There's no better place that the Trump Grill! Try our amazing steaks!"
>>25077>>25078"this isnt about you running off."
>technically Flashy's now Do the eggs move at all frequently?
>>25081"Oh please, that's just some trips fun!" beat-beat-beat-beat on the Entertron.
>>25082Yes, a bit
>>25081"Then what IS it about?!" you have her attention, unequivocally. Trust me on that, she WANTS to say more, but is waiting.
Sorry Tay, its a little,... complicated. Hopefully it will be resolved soon, where you can be transported to Sparintenar and do a marvelous show in front of countless faire-goers who have never seen nor heard of Taylor Swift, but who are most entranced by her style and performance
So, where are the characters that are in the tower atm? Tracy is in the stables sitting on her eggs.
>>25083"you think meme magic is a joke?"
>>25086'Tis true
>>25084GM, can Slovenia be wooed by digits?
>>25086Torquil is the meme mage though.
If I could do it, I'd be dropping memes 24/7. >>25086You cut my Tracy's ear off though... And plucked her eye
>>25085Infernius is in the Entertron, Taylor is probably in the main area
wondering wtf is going on no doubt, Torcuil is still in a coma, Trump is in Sparintenar, Tracy is as described, and Thez is frantically pressed against said Entertron.
>>25086"Frivilously applied, yes! Its the magic of the individual that makes memes have any potential or significance! You think recurring digits could in some way sway me from you? You think that a quick post from some faggot could undo the feeling of someone
else carrying my unconscious form after I'd exhausted myself - not once but
twice?" yeah, she's crying again,.... "I don't contest that there is a degree of magic to memes and such significant circumstances," she wipes tears away "But if you thnk that I'll let some FAGGOTS on an anon-board dictate reality to me,... you don't know the first thing do you?"
>>25089she un did all my hard work.
>>25091Not all, you forget there's a booth for fixing broken peoples.
>>25091She deserved it, but she's
my waifu to physically beat
>>25090Protest all you want Thez, it can't un-boop you
>>25091>undidWhat progress was that, exactly?
We'll just resurrect him.
We made a body cast, so we can keep killing him over and over and he'll stay in one piece.
>>25093Please don't make this a meta-argument, that would be bad
>>25093>asking to get booped by ThezYou'll rue the day you taunted her...
>>25094Also this. Thez made up for Tracy's fuckery
>>25095Only if you tell me who comes to see Trumpaladin as the contract is verified
>>25096I am not asking to get booped. Thez is the one who got booped. And you got booped too, by a sword this morning
>>25097<rumbling sounds can somehow be heard>Don't worry, you'll get your answer in a moment. For the moment however, your response is delayed.
>>25098Booping is like >rape: the only way to unboop yourself is to boop your booper.
Thez still waits, patiently, for Infernius' response,... even though her record contract (THE record contract) is being negotiated in her absence.
>>25102Wait... it hasn't been negotiated yet? I thought the terms had been set
Oh shit
\r
>>25098Stout guard surround and place their hands on Trump.
"Sir, you've presented some outlandish documents. While apparently valid, there are inconsistencies that cannot be ignored. We're going to have to ask you to come with us." The guards behind nudge him forward.
>>25090"look im sorry i just feel betrayed about what happen the other night. me still love you but if he does that enough me dont know what could happen to reality but me do know i love you with all me heart."
*climbs out and holds ana close to me and dries her tears*
"will you marry infernuis?"
>>25105"Of course. OF COURSE! I've been waiting for you to say it, even though I made you wear a ring of mine. A thousand times and a thousand years, of course!" she breaks down crying, nestled in his arms, because even her brecious recording contract is second fiddle. Tidbit, the recording contract
was her most prized possession.
Meanwhile, Trump is being escorted to a secure room.
I so didn't plan any of this!Tracy meanwhile warms her eggs, watchful for 'animated spots'.
Infernius is busy, as is Thez, so the story involves Trump, as well as Tracy who wishes to respond.
>she finds a curious note taped to her, that says "Trump is in trouble, needs a show-person. R u game? Take Fae, IDK why he didn't. - T" Excuse me, I meant to say Taylor (too many T names!)
That was definitively for Taylor
>>25101Um... just in case, please be ready
Hoping Taylor wasn't scared off
*Hums, still watching the eggs*
>>25112"He's probably gotten himself into some shit again, be ready," Fae offers as she flies off. It isn't long before Taylor touches down outside Sparintenar. The guards are most welcoming to a lovely young woman such as her, without even asking her purpose or reason for entering. She can immediately discern there is a gathering of guards around the center of commerce, but otherwise (aside from some Thez posters,... she's better at reading posters than Trump) there appears no immediate impetus.
>>25114I continue towards the guards.
>>25114To one of the guards in his vicinity inside of the building
"Is there an issue?"
>>25116My client,have you seen him?
>>25116"Please step forward sir, your documents are highly suspect, and you're being detained until furher notice"
you get it? fuhrer notice?>>25117"You have a client? You look like a main attaction to me!" Laughter erupts from the guards assembled.
>>25118Aw thats sweet of y'all to say. But have you seen a man in gold armor?
>>25119"You don't mean the guy inside? Hold on a minute."
He disappears.
From inside
>>25116"Hold on a second!" calls a guard from the other end of the building. "There's a hawt chick at the entrance who describes a guy just like him. Maybe we should check him out before,... you know."
>>25113Tracy feels a compelling voice calling to her from a distance. She can perceive the distance, and fixate on the location. Its that way.
>>25120>>25122Okay then.
*gets up, eyes blank*
".. I have to go.." She says in a monotone
*steps out of the stables, immediately transforms, and flies off as a dashing blue bolt*
>>25123Did not mean to shitpost so ironically there.. Was picking stuff out of my Taylor folder.
It's perfect though. >>25125
meh
*is blazing towards the city*
>>25123She's not compelled, but she is called.
>>25124Oh fug, its been you the whole time hasn't it?
>>25127Hoping nevermind.
So is Taylor negotiating with the guards, or is Tracy's faggot playing 2 characters?
>>25126*cough* You can teleport through the Etheral Plane *cough*
>>25128Im negotiationing for you fagoot.
>>25130>>25128Oops thought you were trump.
>>25131So the guards holding Trump are stalled, while Taylor (outside) pleads her case.
GM thinks its time for an impromptu meme-song performance,... its not required but it would make the scene nicely [1d20 = 4]>>25129>teleportCan she do that?
*teleports behind you*
"You called?"
Rolling Intimidate (+21 in this form) to scare the ever-living piss out of everyone around, with a sudden appearance with smoke and fire.>Monotone, but with a monster's voice"Now, just what are all you little dorks doing with my husband?"
Meanwhile, Thez continues to bawl and sniffle, while Infernius pretends to neither bawl and sniffle, Tracy sits atop eggs, Torcuil is still in a coma, and Trump waits to see if his anal cavity is violated.
>>25133NO teleport. Good show, but it will take Tracy a minimum of 4 rounds to arrive on scene, assuming she doesn't need any direction (which she would).
>>25132Look if you let my friend go ill put on a free concert for the city. Heres a simple song.
https://youtu.be/3tmd-ClpJxA >>25133>directionScratch that, just 4 rounds
>>25133For the first time perhaps ever, Trumpaladin is not startled in the least
*mounts Tracy*
To Guards: "She came for me. This fine mare right here is my performer. Does a Damned fine rendition of "Ghost Rider's in the Sky"
To Tracy:
"Situation's fucked. Thez gave me a bad contract, or maybe the Guards mistakenly believed that I was representing myself as Thez. I have no idea. All I can say, is mission failed, and get me the fuck out of here. Use your etheralness, your smoke, your smoke bombs, let be use your smoke cane, whatever, just get me the fuck out of here"
>>25134Use ether and skills to make it seem as though she appeared out of nowhere.
>>25137WHOA now, Tracy DOESN'T show up. Tracy is en route, but don't get ahead of yourself. Taylor is pleading your case at the moment.
>>25139I know my move regardless. I prepared for this contingency
Tracy moves at more than twice Fae's speed, and can move at three times that speed momentarily. Why didn't it take Fae four rounds?
>>25139Unless the guards are willing to talk
>>25139>>25142"Now hol' up. hol' up. What kind of inconsistencies?"
>>25140Oh you did?
In response to Taylor's impromptu performance (not sure how she did the narrative bit at the end but kek) they're completely sold. "Please, forgive us for doubting! Let us usher you inside!"
At the same time, Tracy comes crashing through one of the windows of the building, before anyone can respond. As Taylor is brought forward, and Tracy shuffles off debris and broken glass,... scene:
(whoever, do ur thing)
Way too much like that time I was detained at the Federal Courthouse in Dallas...
>>25141It didn't take Fae 4 rounds, it took Thez 4 rounds, and only cuz Trump's armor is heavy as fug
>>25144Im not the only t swift you know back on erde we discovered multiverse travel.
>>25144"All part of the show, folks!"
>>25148The counter guy gives Trump a look.
Guards move to restrict both Taylor and Tracy, not sure whats going on.
>>25150Chill out guys shes my horse.
>>25149At this, the guards form a sort of perimeter, neither detaining nor obstructing Taylor or Tracy.
please continue