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Corn Nuts
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24544
Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.

908 replies and 56 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24648
*steam rises off of comfy pony*
I miss my wifi...
Anonymous
mqBRr
?
No.24649
>>24647
gems would have been much better info, honestly
"City? What city? I know nothing."
my internet sucks too
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24650
24651 24653
"That ring-shaped city on the other side of the mountain. It seems odd, but there doesn't look like very much activity either."
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24651
24652
>>24650
Are you doing this on purpose?
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24652
24654
>>24651
Doing what?
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24653
24655
>>24650
"Can you tell me anything about this city's inhabitants? What about any other locations in the area?"
why are you so stingy with information? You stand nothing to benefit, and it probably harms you in the long run. All it does is drag out meta gaming and makes me ask more questions to get the same information, which is miserable when my internet doesn't work
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24654
>>24652
GM leans over "Your line is: "Its a communist mining city."
Anonymous
GP4EG
?
No.24655
24657
>>24653
I was telling it how I thought she would. She doesn't find the topic to be very interesting.
"I don't know very much about them, but from the books it seems like some kind of isolated mining community. They don't seem to like outsiders very much. I think they might be commies or something. Seems pretty boring to me, imo."
*Offers outdated book*
For the sake of Grace, assume she relayed everything revealed in the last thread, when asked the right questions.
still phone-posting, waiting for wifi to work...
Anonymous
GP4EG
?
No.24656
24657
*steam rises*
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24657
24659
>>24655
>>24656
*urge to kill Bolsheviks rises*
He's really fucking weirded out by the steam, it's just so unnatural
"Alright, thank you"

Trumpaladin now goes to see Thez
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24658
24662
Thez is still waiting for Infernius to wake his bull-ass up, since he bothered to comment about her being gone. Not sure where the sexin' took place (the vault? a room? several rooms? on the side of the tower?) but that's where she is.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24659
24662
>>24657
Really? THIS is the most unnatural thing he's seen so far?
"Okay.. Have a nice day, Flashy."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24660
24661
*Continues sewing cloak while reciting BG incantations*
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24661
24664
>>24660
*Content sigh*
Can she have the materials for a Ring of Animal Friendship ordered? (It seems like the most appropriate thing to put on her clasper, even if it doesn't work for her)
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24662
24663 24666
>>24659
he never liked her transformation, ever
He's going to find out about the gems from someone else now
I have the perfect revenge for that, so it's okay I guess
>>24658
To Thez
"I thinkInferius followed the lead on Ben's missing gold to the bazaar. I haven't seen him since, but he normally talks to you, so... Did he find anything?"

Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24663
>>24662
Bring her the guy's hand.
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24664
>>24661
Clasper? Like a shark penis? I hope she doesn't have one of those
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24665
24666
I'm sure Infernius wouldn't have just dropped the hand somewhere. Let's say he took it with him.
They could've set it in front of him during the night so that he could watch it ooze, knowing that each moment it's not attached to him makes it less and less likely to be reattached.
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24666
24667
>>24662
Thez gets up and heads toward Trump, who is clearly indicating a desire to speak with her, probably by calling out or some other obvious effort.
"Yes, he was able to determine one of the Dark Elves was actually that bald fellow who had been leading characters around in the Bazaar. We have him tied up in the vault for safe keeping. We haven't interrogated him yet, though he did lose a hand in the process of chasing him down and capturing him. He hasn't said much of anything except cheek, but his name is Darkemter Vrees. This is the first I've seen him in this reboot, but our paths have crossed in previous."
>>24665
Lets say he didn't, cuz he's not into hoarding body parts, and since parts can be mended, regenerated, or outright restored (entertron, etc.) there'd be no point.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24667
>>24666
Ebil checked
Okay..
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24668
24669 24670
image.gif
Use detect evil if necessary to find her. Jesus, walky-talkies are the most useful equipment we could possibly get the group. I'd rather have it than guns. At least pigeons that could track people and not just . I'd rather have super-homing pigeons than guns, and goddamn I'd love a Thompson sub-machine-gun. Like seriously, canwe get WW1 homing pigeons but magically enchanted or something to be able to seek out persons?

"You crossed paths with him before? What do you know about him?"
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24669
24674
>>24668
"He's a pompous asshole for one, and avoids conflict if at all possible. He's got some kind of suit, blessed by Spooder,... excuse me,... Lloth, that allows him to chameleon with his surroundings, and his stealth ability rivals my own. Beyond that, he's an excellent assassin, both in temperment and skill, but one should never ever fully trust him."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24670
>>24668
>Pigeons that can be taught to track
I already looked into that: only animals with Scent can be trained to do that...
Of course, there's a spell for everything too.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24671
24672 24673
Pls let Tracy know when the interrogation is about to start
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24672
24675
>>24671
Trollestia quips "I'll get right on it," rolling her eyes.
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24673
>>24671
Hell yes I'd tell Tracy
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24674
24676
>>24669
"So I'm guessing he knows what happened to Ben's gold?"
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24675
24677
>>24672
"..I'll be right back."
>fast travel to the vault or wherever
"Did I hear something about an elf who won't open his mouth?"
>tfw no wifi so can't use the custom reaction images I shopped for this
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24676
24679
>>24674
"Its a safe assumption. Whether he'll admit to it or give any information out is another matter," she shrugs.
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24677
24678
>>24675
No she hasn't heard. She has not been told yet
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24678
24682
>>24677
Say she followed him, and overheard.
>Pony senses
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24679
24680 24681
>>24676
*goes to the vault to check on him*
*returns almost immediately*
"Where the fuck is the gold?"
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24680
24684
>>24679
"Oh yes, that. It seems that Ben wasn't the only one who has been robbed recently. Don't tell Lenos, he'll be MAD."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24681
>>24679
*Is in the next room, evesdropping*
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24682
24683
>>24678
Bullshit, she stayed on the eggs because that's what she does and you should have said that 30 minutes ago.

Mention the gems you kike
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24683
24690
>>24682
>"Sorry. I revived the tarrasque, but you'll forgive me, right?"
How do you want it?
orbqH
?
No.24684
24685 24687
[4d20 = 35]
>>24680
"Aww hell no!"
Goes into vault

"Where's the fucking money?"

Draws out letter opener, the keened one

"Where is our money you sand nigger!"

Stab, stab, stab, stab, because damn I wanted to do this. Target is legs.
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24685
24692
>>24684
Aside from wincing with each stab, he seems thoroughly unimpressed. "Greetings "fine sir". A pleasure to meet you."
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24686
24694
Thez <whooof> appears. "Careful not to cut the bindings, we wouldn't want him getting away,... again."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24687
24688 24695
>>24684
*Phases into the room*
"What's going on here~?"
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24688
>>24687
Thez whispers "Trump is trying to intimidate him with a letter opener."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24689
24692
"Flashy, why didn't you tell me about this? You know I'm good at these kinds of things."
*Draws wicked-looking curved dagger*
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24690
24691
>>24683
She could say the following and get a pat on the head:
As he's leaving the room, she can say to him
"You're worried about money, Flashy? Don't be. Remember how I said "I have assets"? Thez left a number of gems to me, and I wanted to keep them in reserve, in case she changed her mind or we had a situation like this one. Unfortunately that weird dog from a few days ago tore through the place I was keeping them - you know, out of sight from people like him. They could still be retrieved though if you're willing to sift through the dirt. In a cavern off the ant cave - dog killed them, unfortunately. Now, is this guy bothering you?"
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24691
>>24690
I'll deal with that later. Let me play with the elf first.
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24692
>>24689
>>24685
"Nice to meet you again as well. Now, I know for this I'm supposed to take you to the sunny paradise of Cuba first, but I'm a bit short on resources. Meet my associate, Tracy Cage. She will be taking over from here"
Leaves room, saying something to Tracy as necessary

Oh yeah. Cast ZONE OF TRUTH
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24693
24698 24699
Thez thinks for a moment. "Interrogating him won't work, nor will diplomacy; he'll just goad you into killing him. He's a bit of a nihilist, has been ever since he showed up here (and probably long before). I recommend starving him for a few days."
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24694
24697
>>24686
"Why not just cut his feet off then? We could heal him to regenerate skin over the wound."
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24695
24696
>>24687
>phasing
Go through the open door and stop trying to be haxxor
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24696
>>24695
It's more fun this way though...
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24697
24699 24701
>>24694
"That would keep him from running off, sure. It won't loosen his tongue however." True
D> "And look at you all, rubbing your brain-cells together! Do let me know if there's a spark, I'd love to hear about it!" False
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24698
24702
>>24693
"How long until his friends show up for the rescue effort? Any other bait we can use?"
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24699
24700 24702 24703
>>24693
>His goal is to goad you into killing him
"Well, then that means we can have some fun with him for a while until he decides to talk."
>>24697
*Carefully rolls-up the drops pants*
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24700
24703
>>24699
Drow's pants
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24701
>>24697
"That's fine. I'm in no hurry after all."
*sizes up elf, as if inspecting an expensive slab of meat*
"No hurry at all.."
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24702
24704
>>24698
"I doubt they will, Dark Elves have no loyalty to one another. I'm sure they're making every effort to be certain he can't lead us back to them." True
"If we had anything of significant and obvious value, we could attempt to bait them, but other than what we have on us, I doubt it would be enough considering the amount of wealth they've already stolen. We'd be better off scoping out places that have an existing cache of wealth and fine equipment." True
>>24699
"Uhm,...."
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24703
24706
>>24700
>>24699
"Cut him or burn him or whatever, but you are not allowed to rape anyone anymore"
Shows ring to her
Anonymous
orbqH
?
No.24704
24705
>>24702
"Existing wealth? Where are we going to find that?

...

Any chance Korak knows where to find the Drow?"
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24705
>>24704
"Fugged if I know!" (to both) True
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24706
24707
"Now.."
*cuts both Achilles tendons*
"Wouldn't want you running off now. It's been a while since I've had a chance to do this, and you came at just the right time."
>>24703
"Oh, I know. I had some more ~interesting things planned..."
*Licks blade edge*
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24707
24709
>>24706
"Easy on the foreskin darling," he smirks. Its almost like he doesn't feel pain.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24708
24711
What's he wearing, btw? Any place he could be hiding items that he could use to slip away?
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24709
>>24707
>Sand-nigger
>Foreskin
I really wish I could do this on my laptop...
orbqH
?
No.24710
24712
[1d20 = 4]
Sense motive on Sand person
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24711
24713
>>24708
He's veritably bundled in rope. "No, we retrieved his weapons (a fine rapier, and a short-sword), but he was not suited for venturing when we found him so his other 'tools' are probably being kept elsewhere," Thez sighs. "Watch out for these little guys also," she says squishing a tiny spider that had wandered out of the bindings and was working its way down the chair leg. "Sorry spooder," she genuinely says.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24712
24714
>>24710
This faggot has maxed-out bluff. There's no way that'll help.
This could take days.

Waiting on that clothing description.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24713
>>24711
What about his clothes?
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24714
24718
>>24712
Its a fine mesh of intricate webbing, occasionally linked at points with some form or other of exotic metals. Its unlike anything seen previously, though for the meta-player comparison, it is very much like the Dark Spider-man suit.
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24715
24716 24717
FYI, I'm about to cripple him so he can't get away, but I want to know what he's wearing first so I won't fuck up when the bindings are cut.
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24716
24717 24719
>>24715
You mean beyond cutting his achilles?
D> "Where DID you find these two? And that Bull-fellow? I say the God's must have lowered their expectations to endorse this lot for the Game," he says to Thez
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24717
24720
>>24715
>>24716
To Thez and to Tracy
"You know, I'm not skilled in the art of inflicting suffering, nor am I really allowed to engage in such things. But if I were, I would say you should strip him completely naked and lower the temperature of the room, so he is deprived of dignity, cold, and most importantly, we could loot him"
Mrs. Sentry
GP4EG
?
No.24718
24719 24720
>>24714
*Pulls out hammer from the forge*
>SLAM
>SLAM
*Breaks both shins halfway below the knee*
"You won't be needing these anymore."
*Takes dagger and slowly amputates 1/3 of each leg, between the broken bones*
"We'll save those for later..
Flashy, if you would..?"
*Gestures to paladin to regenerate skin over remainder of legs*
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24719
24720
>>24718
Trumpaladin uses LAY HANDS to regenerate skin

>>24716
"Thez, um, do we have any money of any kind left anywhere? I think I might need some for display purposes. Just a lot of gold coins to look impressive, or maybe gems, not actually anything more than say 1000gp"
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24720
24721 24722 24725 24728
>>24718
As the flesh is rent, the suit mends over the wounds. "Oh MY! Careful with the threads!" he says in mock outrage.
>>24717
"Uhm,... I'm not sure that will work (looting/stripping). Again, I suggest starving him," Thez responds.
>>24719
"Considering what they've already stolen, I doubt that would garner a response from his cohorts, especially since they no doubt know we have him. Its a shame no one has done any research into the various communities and might have stumbled across some mention of a city relatively nearby that is swimming in wealth, cuz that would be damn useful."
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24721
>>24720
"I wasn't intending on getting the gold for the elves, but now that you mention it..."

"Yeah, but starving him will take days"
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24722
24723
>>24720
>suit mends
LOOT HIM
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24723
24724
>>24722
You'll have to untie him to do that
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24724
24727
>>24723
I'm not doing that until I know Tracy has disabled him and until I can cast a magic resistant circle. Can Paladins cast circles that are zero-magic zones?
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24725
24726 24727
878552__grimdark_grotesque_artist-colon-php10_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_blood_chainsaw_solo.png
>>24720
Upon seeing the wounds heal, the pale pony giggles like a filly in a candy store
"We are going to have so much fun tonight."
*lets loose with the hammer all over his legs*
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24726
>>24725
*hands fire iron to pony*
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24727
24729
>>24725
I didn't say they heal, I said that the suit mends its self over the wound.
>>24724
Newp
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24728
24730
>>24720
*produces cleaver*
"If I chopped your legs off, would you die?"
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24729
24730
>>24727
Break all the bones in his legs.
Cut off his feet.
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24730
24732 24733
>>24728
"Please, you haven't the stomach for that sort of method,..."
"He's just provoking you,...." Thez warns.
>>24729
Didn't you just cut off 1/3 of his legs a few posts ago?
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24731
24732
GM wishes Thez - or anyone else in the room - had an appreciation for the degree of torture invulnerability that most high-ranking Dark Elves are forced to endure/learn so we could be past all this,....
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24732
24737
>>24730
"Thez, I was hoping to make a trip to Spinitar or the Court City soon. Now that you mention Cardishore, add that to the list. Just scouting and diplomacy, nothing serious. I was going to ask Inferius if I could borrow Uatchit for the journey. Since he is unavailable, is there a horse I can borrow for the journey? Something reasonably fast, but doesn't scream 'I am dangerous, and by the way, here is what I can use to hurt you if you want to attack me.'

>>24731
>>24730
Shhh! Let Tracy have her fun
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24733
24734 24737
581393__safe_artist-colon-rainbow-dash-dosh_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_blushing_solo.png
>>24730
>Not getting the Bane joke
*blank expression* (she really wants to know if she can cut them off without losing her toy)
"Well? Would you?" she inquires in monotone
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24734
>>24733
*pets pony*
"Don't worry sweetie, if he does die, I can resurrect him so you can kill him again. And he'll be in a state of hysteria the whole time too."
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24737
24738 24739
>>24733
"Would you be so kind? Please, don't stop on my account," he replies.
>>24732
"Fine, but this is getting nowhere." then to Tracy. "Make sure that you don't loosen his bindings, no matter how much you cut him up," then back to Trump. "There's Trollestia, but Slovenia and Ponimaru are probably too small. I could take you quite quickly if you don't mind the wind messing up your hair, but I can't guarantee I'd be much use once there. Why not Fae anyway?"
>>24736
That IS a retarded idea! I already said, its the suit - not the dude - who is regenerating.
Speaking of which, he slips into unconsciousness. (He's been bleeding this whole time)
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24738
24740 24741 24744
>>24737
ReEEEEEEEE don't die on me!
Is he unconscious yet? Can I take his pants?
Also, is the vault door closed?
kxYE5
?
No.24739
>>24737
Lay Hands on elf to keep him from bleeding to death

>why not Fae
"Simple. We defeated the Rats, Soros, and Kefka, for absolutely no other reason than that they underestimated what they were up against. What has been accomplished by accident,I now intend. If I am ambushed or attacked, I want the first time they learn I can summon an enhanced dragonne - or a friggin' cauchemar - to be when claws and flaming hooves are in their faces, and I am already flying away. I can summon either almost at will anyways.

Just taking me straight there would be fine.

Tracy can come too, if she wants, although she needs to remain innocuous"
\r
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24740
24741
>>24738
Yes, he is unconscious. You'll have to untie him in order to take his pants. Yes, the vault is closed.
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24741
24742 24743
>>24740
>>24738
"I want his Rapier and suit... I like fashion and I need a weapon that can do piercing damage..."
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24742
24744
>>24741
Thez' eye twitches, before reiterating "DON'T untie him, you'll probably regret it," True
Anonymous
GsoPL
?
No.24743
24745
>>24741
>fashion
>gross spider jumpsuit
You've got a fancy chainshirt suit, but I won't object..

I g2g for a bit.. sorry..
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24744
24746
>>24742
"Alrighty then..."
*does not untie him*

>>24738
"Don't untie him Tracy"
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24745
>>24743
It's a gross spider jumpsuit? Eww. Nevermind
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24746
24747
>>24744
Thez breathes a sigh of relief. "So then, assuming that no one disturbs what will very shortly be his corpse, he's probably going nowhere. I'm not sure how he did it, but he's escaped literal death before. I'd say he's a vampire, but he scoffed at a rebuke attempt by an exceptionally outranking caster. Although, if he's dead then hunger won't weaken his resolve or ability to disregard further interrogation and torture."
Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24747
24748
>>24746
Casts HEAL SERIOUS WOUNDS? HEAL MODERATE WOUNDS?
Anonymous
dshvk
?
No.24748
24749 24750
>>24747
Serious is better.
Darkie wakes back up with a start. "Morning already, can't I sleep in a bit? I hope there's tea,...."

Anonymous
kxYE5
?
No.24749
>>24748
"... Do you like Chamomile?"