What...
the...
Hey ponyfrens! Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Pony Pub, a thread I was eventually gonna get to re-bump and troll with after it hit 1000, but someone got tired of!
This is a casual thread to reference 'legitimate' threads/posts from, without derailing.
Out bartender/chef is a tulpa, and she and OP are just this side of batshit! But her food is amazing, so deal with it.
99 replies and 15 files omitted.
>from behind the counter, a *DING* bell sound rings, and out/across the counter slides a steaming hot burger.
"Smash burger on a croissant fer table 37," rings out, above the sizzling sounds of the grill.
>>169690That looks delicious! Is it for me, tulpa cow ma'am?
>>169723"Ah kin whip ye up one in about 6 minutes, if'n yer wantin'. Ah thought ye asians prefer dog er cat tho."
>spatula scraping sounds
"Original comes with american cheese, but we got plenty of others te choose from. We also offer it deluxe: wit lettuce, tomato, and carmelized onion. Plenty o' sauces te choose from also. How ye wannit?"
It's so nice to see more tulpa posting. I hope everyone is having a good day.
>>169725One with everything please. No dog no cat haram yes?
>>169733"Nice dubs," she smiles, sliding a hard-paper box across the counter to you.
As you look back up, she stares at you like you're the thickest,...
"The fuck ye think this is? A role-play thread? If'n ye aint 'ere te troll somebody, git the fuck out me arse."
<If'n ye find ye have a throat infection, ye might consider gargling salt water. And if'n ye aint a pussy, gargle ghost pepper sauce.
<Ah quit yer cryin, itll subside in 5-10 minutes, depending on the sensitivity of yer labia
>>>/sp/8287 →>>>/sp/8280 →Thats a lie and ye fookin know it, tho Ah'd be lyin' if'n Ah said was surprised. Ah mean, it ain't like staff ain't been shown te be faggot hypocrites any time they get BTFO in some way. The truth is ye faggots 'ave absolutely no rules when yet get yer feelin's chapped, and just spin it however ye can until anons shut up about it. Jus like yer doin' now. A user was censured for Hi Anon spamming once, and there was an unwritten rule, but yer wont te not mention that cuz it was yer idea and that gets in the way o yer posturin dunnit?
But what can ye expect from a buncha furfags? Gonna cry some more? Gonna delete me posts n threads? Gonna ban and 404 everything Ah try and do? Pathetic excuse fer a shitposter ye are, and the same fer the lot a ye
<Sure do be seemin te be alot of dialogue control goin on. Funny, fer a buncha fags who claim te care about frozen peaches n sheit
<Ah'm really tryin te paint inside the lines, but yer kinda forcing me hand
<Aye, minotaurs have hands. Fook y'all and yer 'no hooves' sheit, Ah 'ave both
Gin and Tonic.
Gotta finish the race instead of wallowing around trying to continually play hopscotch. Unless it's not a race and is instead hopscotch.
After all what's even the difference between a Gin and Tonic and Mint Julep.
>>170166Gin and tonic actually sounds good, I might have one of those myself.
Where is niggel when you need him? His archnemesis turned out to be a fokking furfag like himself lmao.
>>170165I'll make u regret every milisecond of that cringepost
/s
>>>/mlpol/369858 →Yeah, yeah. For a while it seemed like I was the only one who had a problem with this. You left me to die alone back there. (Obvious hypervole. It's alright fren.)
Btw, how can you say the staff is all for free speech when you've never been outside their good graces?
>>>/mlpol/369860 →Nah, fuck this place. I don't even know if my ban's even expired.
>>170689>Nah, fuck this place. I don't even know if my ban's even expired.You too were banned? No wonder everyfag left.
>>170690Yeah, but I don't really wanna start shit. I don't want to appeal my ban or whatever. I just thought Sven should know because I consider him a friend.
If you wanna know what happened. Let's just say I purposefully made staff mad. So in a way, you could say the ban was justified. But it was also a bit of a tantrum that you would expect from a dicksword mod.
Anyways, besides Sven and Glim I don't really care about this trashfire anymore. Have funs this Christmas.
>>170691I understand.
Merry Christmas poner.
>>170691Merry christmas. You may not know me but I'll always consider you a friend
>>170691Merry Christmas fren.
Thought you left to conquer irl stuff, unless I'm thinking of someone else.
Still merry Christmas.
>>170689Anon, you're posting.
Since you're able to post on at least two parts it stands to reason the ban's over and I'd wager to guess the length of it was about a day.Ooooooooh. Sorry my brain isn't running on full.
Anyway Merry Christmas to you all
>>170692>>170693>>170694Merry Christmas indeed. I feel undeserving of the kind words. But I'm grateful to hear them.
Btw Sven, sorry for overreacting. Didn't actually apologized before. You're entitled to your opinion either way.
>>170165<Always cute when faggoys try te run their mouths>>170169<Simmer down lad>>170689<Rustlin' the staff's jimmies is the fastest way te catch a ban 'round 'ere. Lotus in particular treats insults te his pride worse than CP.>>170694<Aye, staff loves te issue 100-year bans an then revoke em later. It'd be far easier (read: more consistent) if'n they embraced the "there are no actual rules" rule<ANYWAY this shite-hole is covered in dust, ah hope ye'll pardon if'n I spruce the place fer a bit
>>170156<Lol, when did ye fags change these post links? Im not sayin ye shouldnt'a, just wondering if'n yer still tryin' to act a paladin is all
>>174308>Simmer downNot one to talk, furtroon.
Kettle atlatl requisite clunk,... kettle atlatl requisite clunk.
Doot. Doot dooty.
>the sound of quarters inserted into the jukebox, and 3 buttonshttps://youtu.be/swQcmvHJqnY?si=BnAZgYdGIBNfVdiO
>>174622<Oh lookit ye narr. Ah fergitted ye'er ere! Glad the ol veins 're still throbbin', but ye might wanna let up a bit, its hard te 'ear ye postin ifn yer chokin on a benis, lad
https://youtu.be/UNhphyF74sA?si=gD2FDD_Maul0gPEe<Ah seen Nigel postin' th other dee. Wunner ow this'll turn oot
>>174713>chokin on a benisNow, that's somethin' you clearly know a lot more about.
>>174818<Says the hit-and-run sage-poster who postures brave but sneaks like a coward. Ahm sayin' take he dick outta yer mouth (stop saging) and we can 'ave a proper gowr, if'n that be watcher fixin fer
>>174897Saging is an imperative duty for any thread you don't specifically want to bump.
>>174898<Aye, ye aint lyin'. But since y ere, where on the doll did I rub ye wrong?>>174308<Ah aint fixin te fight, but Ah aint opposed neither, lad
>>174899You're just as beautiful as in the cartoon depiction in the OP, ma'm. Do you serve airag? Fermented mare milk is good for the soul. One lasagna, no cat no dog haram yes.
>>174909<Are we doin' this agin? If'n Ah recall, yer last time in me joke about asians fancyin' cat n dog went clear o'er yer heed.>she grumbles and walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a few gallons of milk and pours one of em into a large mixing bowl<Ye know this sheit is gonna take me three fookin' days te finish, dunnae?
>She stops for a moment in the preparation of fresh mozzarella, realizing that she never actually made the joke about asians eatig cats and dogs the last time this person had ordered. If she wasnt fuzzy, her embarrassment would be readily apparent.
Reminds me, ma'am, my darling, have you watched the game yesterday?
>>>/mlpol/375717 →The last games had... and unfortunate outcome!
Nigga, this is a horsefucker forum. What can possibly be perceived as brave about posting hier?
>Furry roleplaying in his mid-thirties
Anyways, I'll just wait till you get in trouble again. Shouldn't take too long. Shit on you then.
>>174918>mid-thirtiesNigga please. Besides, the affected proprietor of this 'pub' is the daughter of an MLP minotaur. Show me where cows arent allowed. Especially on /vx/; what, is my little shitposty tulpamancy, furry* RP thread interfering with the other RP thread (singular) on the RP board?
>braveNothing freudian there, lol
>>174915<Aye, we ad the cup on the fookin' 88" in 1080! Starlink is fookin awesome!
(for clarity/transparency, Im dismissive of "mid 30s" because Im unabashedly in my mid ]40s, Furry RPing on a nazi horsefcker board)
Git gud fgt
>>174920>daughter of an MLP minotaur.
Kettle atlatl requisite clunk,... kettle atlatl requisite clunk.
Doot. Doot dooty.
>the sound of quarters inserted into the jukebox, and 3 buttonshttps://youtu.be/X2LTL8KgKv8?si=D3u0-AiaqbDUFYAp<Dun switch th' blade on da cow in shades, oh noDun Masquerade wit' th' cow in shades, oh nooo
>fffffffft... ffffffffft... fffffffft...
>the sounds of something large being dragged across the ground emanates from outside the bar until
BAM
>the door swings open with a kick, crashing against the wall adjacent
>ffffffft... ffffffft... ffffffft... the bartender, hunched over a large bundle of black plastic, drags the mass back toward the kitchen leaving a trail of bright green fluorescent fluid
>approaching the kitchen doors she stops and takes a long drag off her cigarette before looking back and chortling:
<Ah dunnae wot th' fook thisser ere be, bud 'e put up a proper figh' tho'. 'E's all lean muscle, Ah figger Ah'll slice 'em super thin anen Ah'll sear it insum smoked lard!
<Oh, and Ah ran intae one-a me furry friemds!
>>>/ub/7777 →<Anon be like:>fuck, he noticed me sage-bumping other /üb/ threads to force the get faster! What do I do now? I know, I'll post some nonsense thread so no one will notice what I was gonna do!
>>175602I was going to do that anyway.
/ub/ is a failed experiment; it's mostly deae. I was of the /fitlit/ camp back in the day.
/fitlit/ was great. Bring back /fitlit/.
>>175603>I was going to do that anyway<Ah thank ye fer th' admission tha' yer the same faggot who thought 'e could pull some sneaky sheit, an then wants te lie like a twat when caught
>175604
Not everything is about you.
<So ye jus' started sage-bumpin' threads fer the fun of it, but stopped when Ah called ye out, so ye started regular-bumpin', before makin' the thread? Sure, that checks out.
<Mate, Ah ain't sayin' it's about me. Ye'd have te be an idgit te no' realize that it's about ye.
<Cuz Ah can tell yer a disingenuous faggot, Ah'll explain fer th' audience.
<Sage-bumpin is where one er more faggots're tryin' to use post digits te try and "not lose" an argument th' they've already lost. Ye sage-post to a buncha threads, so that ye get the post # ye were after. It ain't a bump to th' top o the overboard, it's a bump o th post count.
Saging is the opposite of bumping, nigger. Bumping is bringing something to the top of the page. The correct term is sage bombing.
<Potato, potahto mate. Ah ain't the one tryin te be a sheister.
Your accent is as fake as it is gay.
>>175621<Oh shoot. Ah was so invested in yer approval
>person who has never left the West coast tries to emulate a southern accent.
<Ah LIVE in Texas, ya zigger
<Also, it ain a southern accemt
>California/Washington/Oregon parasite moves after shitting up his home state and thinks he can fit in with a fake accent
Sad. Many such cases.
>retard, can't into the idea that there are more accents than sothern
<Tell me mate, how is affectin' an amalgamized accent (engliah, scottish, and australian) "tryin' te fit in". Oh wait, it ain't, and yer sheit fer brains
>didn't deny being a West coast refugee
Top lel
<Mate, if we're splittin' hairs about things not denied, yer operatin' from a loss
<Never lived there mate, try again. And while yer at it, try te pretend Ah haven't lived rent free.
Friends please be nice to eachother!
>>175638>the bartender eyes you with a very strange look>it seems to be a mix of disbelief and incredulity, with a slight tinge,... as though here is something about you that they are unable to identify>she slowly walks over and stands across the bar from you tilts her head slightly, and through partially squinted eyes (as though biting back one or more choice phrases) asks:<Ye gon' order somethin' mate?
>>175639Hello yes does this planet have cow milk? If so, a chocolate milk please. I have to travel today so not the fermented type. Do you have marshmallows?
>>175657>she briefly mutters<Planet? The fook,...>before focusing back on you to reply<Naurr, ain't got none'a that, folks 'ave alwys been fiene wit booze. An' dun ye get any smart idears 'bout "cows producin' milk", Ah ain't that kinda cowe.>her face betrays her interior dialogue, something along the lines of wondering where you think you are
>>>/sp/24934 →<Are these fancy kiwis in the room wit' us roight nawr?
<Cuz it'd be a roight shame if'n specific faggots were tryin' te' manufacture consensus
Again
Yay! New artwork commission just got sent!
>>175844What kinds of cigarettes do you like?
>>175870>rolling her eyes at the unprompted attempt to socialize<Ah roll me own lad. As whoy they look beat up like they're from Cowboy Bebop
>the bar's saloon-style CLAP open
>the bartender, flaming-red dred-locks trailing behind her, slid across the (freshly-waxed) floor, right up to the end of the bar
>tipping up her copper-rimmed sunglasses, she examined the register's contents as it popped open with a "clickity-clackity, PING"
>her eyes danced across register compartments as her form slipped it's arms out of her floppy-skin duster before tossing it
/roll
>>177164Well that didn't work
>... gracefully dancing through the air before hooking on a standing coat-rack, bolted to the floor apparently, cuz otherwise unaffected by the bartender's coat, momentum, etc>she maintains her posture from the throw of the heavy garment, her head beginning to bob increasingly and more unmistakably to some unheard beat>again she slides over to the jukebox this time, and with a practiced finesse deposits one and then clickity-clackitys.https://youtu.be/MTijPpYLS6g?si=TvhpCO8l3FAFOMXHShe grooves along with the astonishingly synchronized music that begins playing on the PA
>the bartender wanders in, wearingnher customary sunglasses and duster-coat
>there's only one person in the bar, a snivelly looking fellow in an outfit thay reeks of government something
>she wanders around, inspecting the area, seemingly disinterested in his presence
>he is eating a plate of food, which is odd, because the bar isn't open yet
<Aye so ye're sill 'ere aint ye.
She says, finally turning in the man's direction.
"I told you before. I will remain until you have the means to be rid of me, miss..."
>As he finishes, or attempts to finish this sentence, she draws her revolver hand-canon and promptly splatters his brains all over the counter
<That ye did mate
>>177608<Ah dinnae think 'ere were anyfolk else 'ere>she says off handedly, walking over to the corpse<That fella there is somethin of a parasite, don't ye start feelin' no ways about 'im>As she speaks, she looks over the body with clear disdain, pushing a lifeless hand off the bar with her finger<Human flesh ain't all that exciting tbh, about on par with chicken<So, ye fancy a drink?
>Not waiting on any response, she very casually walks to the jukebox>the characteristic clatter of quarters, with a beep or two>an eerily somber sound slowly emergeshttps://youtu.be/RcT5mrGnYrg?si=YdaJfrhTDEBZsssc
>>177612>as the song echoes through the bar, she stands motionless and expressionless, staring at the dead person>eventually, during the refrain, she pulls out a cigarette, before lighting it with a match
>>177617>the smoke from her cigarette slowly permeates the room, illuminated by lights streaming in from angles due to the window, giving the whole scene almost an effervescent glow>she remains motionless, except for her left hand occasionally removing the cogarette from her mouth between drags>her eyes never stray from the remains she stays fixated on>one might intuit there to be bad blood betwen her and the cadaver>she spits on his corpse<Alrigh", time te oopen up shop
Initiative
[1d20+9 = (4+9) = 13]
"Hmmm? It looks like another no-show. It cannot be helped: their kind are just so easy to break afterall."
<Oh. Lass. AH think yer in th wrong place
>>178240 →Lol. You go threatening to kill people OOC, and you won't PVP OOC. All bark, no bite.
>>178243<Mate, if'n ye ain't te order, kindly do go fuck yerself
>>178243>threatening to kill<Wut? Nonsense! Citations!
>>178244 →>realizesYou already failed the roll for that. If you want to fantasize your empty threats OOC, do it in a separate thread.
>>178248 →I don't care about your threats. I'm not afraid of you, and neither is my character.
You were targeted with a charm. The charm failed due to GM abjudication, then you failed your check to notice you were targeted. That's the end of the story.
>Is it still a good idea?I'd do it again. I'm not sorry anymore. If you don't like it, attack me. I dare you to. It you successfully kill me (which you won't), I'll just make another character.
>>178249No, it’s not “GM adjudication.” Player Characters don’t have stat block attitudes of “friendly/unfriendly.” They are not NPCs or monsters.
>but beholders have charm person!No shit. It’s for cohorts, monsters, or whatever. Show me where in the rules that players must obey diplomacy rolls or charm person when affected by it.
>>178252That's a fair ruling.
>>178247Imagine your character had been coopted, especially in advance of anything hostile
You wouldnt stand for it
Yiu in particular would probably br incensed. But Im supposed to be okay with it? No! You're already trying to take liberties with the game, and fuck off AND ALL with that.
>>17825 →>>178251Oh, go on, talk about spamming nigger
<Dunnae let th door hit yer on the way, as they say
>>178248 →I think it was a great idea. I'd do it again.
Too bad Rosey Ring can't try again for another 24 hours (and PC charm immunity that I was previously unaware of).
Don't like it? Respond in character.
<Some cunts, all full of themselves
>>178258Big talk coming from the guy who made 50+ posts threatening PVP and then backed out
>>178259<Aye, 'e thought ye qere able te act in good faith. Proper lesson, that